Kern Carter's Blog, page 128

This Year, I’m Freeing My Creative Self

What do you do with creative blocks? Build a castle! — SARK

I’m not sure of the exact moment when I began to lose my creative juice. Somewhere along the way, my logical, conscious brain took over and it no longer felt like I was living up to my creative potential.

In part, there was a reason for it. Last year, I began a new role where turning imaginative ideas into reality didn’t feel possible in an environment focused on technological releases, systems and processes. My days became filled with back-to-back meetings that barely left much space for me to think. For months, I’d end my workday feeling grumpy and drained from the mental exertion.

Don’t get me wrong, I love what I do and had always imagined me being exactly where I am today. I’m grateful that I make a living as a creative — I work full-time as a communications strategist and outside of the office I’m a ghostwriter, helping purpose-driven people tell the stories they feel called to share. It’s just that from 9–5, my way of working leaned a little more to the business and strategic side than to getting in the sandbox and creating each day.

With this transition, I no longer had the energy remaining for (or perhaps I just stopped prioritizing) filling up my own bucket with the things that inspire me. I lost the fulfillment, the energy and the joy in living each day from my own creative source.

Creativity, lost and found

Creativity is fleeting; when ignored, repressed or not used to its full potential, the channel through which it flows becomes blocked.

I needed to set my creative self free; free of focusing on seeking approval or a specific output and instead in enjoying the process.

There can be a kind of freedom, when the reward is itself the work.

- Nikki Giovanni

I began to recognize that creativity is not about what I do but in how I do everything. Living in a way that leaves space for me to be inspired will only provide me with the opportunity to bring my best to all areas of my life.

I’ve made it a goal to live my days more creatively, no matter what I’m working on. If you’re looking to do the same, here are a few things I’m doing to help get my creative juice flowing. To bring more imagination back into my life and into the work that I do.

Be intentional about my mornings

I’ve yet to join the 5 am club, but I do carve out a few hours to myself before I start my workday. This is my intentional time to set the tone for the day ahead, but also an opportunity to really tune into how I think and feel. I’m currently reading Untamed by Glennon Doyle (it’s a must-read by the way!) and in it, she speaks to the importance of tuning into your own voice:

Be still and know. I’d read that verse many times before, but it struck me freshly this time. It didn’t say “Poll your friends and know” or “Read books by experts and know” or “Scout the internet and know.” It suggested a different approach to knowing: just stop…If you just stop doing, you’ll start knowing.

I’ve realized that the only way to set my creative self free is to stop scrolling, stop consuming others’ thoughts and stop looking for answers outside of myself. Instead, I create the space to hear what I think and keep a journal and pen close by to capture ideas that come up.

Become a voracious consumer of life and culture

Once I’ve connected to myself and tuned into my own thoughts, I think it’s important to read, listen to and watch things that move me. Instead of aimlessly consuming, I intentionally seek out the things that will challenge me, introduce a new thought or simply light me up.

Create a room of one’s own

With the times we are in now, working from home means my room has become both a place for rest and work. While at first it was an energy drain to sleep and work in the same space, I decided to create a room that inspires me in order to change that. I added artwork to my walls by visual artist, Reyna Noriega, who’s images unabashedly celebrate Black women and femininity. I also put up a vision board this year — a practice I gave up on years ago in place of writing my dreams and goals in a journal. Having my visions and affirmations displayed front and center where I work keeps me motivated to keep going. I’m called daily by the dreams I want to bring to life instead of hiding them.

Don’t go alone

The creative journey doesn’t always have to be a solo one. Having a business partner to bounce ideas off of and keep each other accountable has made a difference. I also have a circle of talented friends who are just a group chat away to share ideas with and support.

Form a habit of completion

In Creative Companion by one of my favourite authors, SARK, she provides tips on how she’s freed her creative spirit. Her last tip, “Habit of completion” is the one that stood out to me the most. As a life-long procrastinator and perfectionist, I’m someone who has a million and one ideas but getting myself to the finish line can be a struggle. But I recognize that having a habit of completing the things I start will free me to do more. I’m not bogged down by the weight of unfinished projects or unrealized ideas.

This Year, I’m Freeing My Creative Self was originally published in CRY Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Jealousy: The Robber of Opportunity

Photo by Jamie Street on Unsplash

At one point during my college journey, one of my friends decided to join a sorority. In one breath I said, “Damn, she’s abandoning me,” and in another, “Wow, I’m really not that cool in comparison to her.”

The time I could have spent being happy for my friend embarking on a new path, I squandered with my own insecurities concerning abandonment and “being cool.”

Jealousy really is one of the ickiest emotional reactions anyone can experience, but I’ve always thought of it as very human. It is natural to feel the need to compare and wish for what others have when we are conditioned to value the “best thing” after the “best thing.”

Other instances came up that made me realize, at least for me, the issues were deeper than jealousy, but anger and disappointment with myself. Always feeling like you are falling short of what people need/want from you can really put a damper on your spirit. Living for that approval or someone else’s “okay” is not the sort of place you want your self-esteem stored.

So yes, jealousy, like comparison, is a thief of joy, but I think leaning into this feeling can tell us a lot about the root of our problems. I propose that we embrace jealousy in a way that permits us to lean into our relations with those we are jealous of. This is not to spy on them, but really figure out why we feel our trajectory should be similar to theirs. In what ways can we improve how we view ourselves and our own goals? Hell, do we even have goals or are our comparisons empty? What do we feel we lack in comparison to them?

The “jealous bitch”

As someone who has inhabited “the jealous bitch” role, I can say that sometimes our comparisons are empty and our minds are just stuck on a loop. But, whether the jealousy can be leaned into or not, we must be cognizant of how it robs us of certain pleasures.

Jealousy creates an unnecessary distance between you and someone else.

I know all too well that being jealous of someone can prevent you from opening up to them and learning about who they really are. When we become jealous of someone or where they are in life, we conjure an image of someone that doesn’t really exist. This becomes a border that is grueling to cross.

Audre Lorde didn’t discuss jealousy in Sister Outsider, but she did discuss the unnecessary anger Black women can harbor towards one another caused by white supremacy and internalized anti-Blackness. Jealousy, in connection to unbridled hate, is another result of these traumas.

Jealousy places unrealistic expectations onto others

When we are only focused on the image we conjured of someone and their work (as well as their journey getting there), we deny them full personhood. No one deserves that treatment. Where there are denials of personhood, there is disrespect as well as erasure.

As someone begins to show us the fullness of who they are, we should embrace that and let go of this false image of what we thought they’d be. I’ve had people tell me they were jealous of the fact that I lived in a two-parent household, which undoubtedly comes with significant financial privileges, but the nature of that household caused a lot of issues for me.

In embracing relations with those who we are jealous of, we must accept who they are, not who we think they are. And, when they show us who they are, we must build self-esteem that is not built on anything but OUR internal knowings.

Jealousy robs you of this moment in time, which is all we have.

We only have what we have right now. The future is near but that doesn’t mean we have access to it. When we’re spending our time looking after other folks' business, we lose out on time to focus on what we can do in the here and now.

This is the most powerful realization regarding jealousy that I’ve come to. Letting go of what I did in the past, what I must do in the future, and giving my love to the present is highly influential.

I didn’t write this to really try to flame myself or others for feeling jealous, but to really point out the real consequences that come as a result of it. Let’s all do ourselves a service and regularly look at what motivates us to act and do, as well as consider where we want our self-esteem to be stored.

*The universe has been sending me extremely obvious signs that I need to address this with myself and others. Check out, if you like, some of the signs that have been popping up via social media.*

@Yesterdaynite on Instagram

@For Harriet on Instagram

Jealousy: The Robber of Opportunity was originally published in CRY Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Google Play Offering AI Narration for Audiobooks

As audiobook usage continues to grow at a furious pace, companies are trying to capitalize on what is now far more than a trend.

Audible is the leader in North America, but companies like Storytel are introducing audio subscription services to Europe, Asia, and parts of South America, and it may not be long till North American publishers jump on board.

Google is adding its own innovation to the game. Google Play Books now offers auto narration for ebooks that don’t have audio services. Expect this service to be ready to go early this year (it’s already out in beta).

My [safe] prediction is that audio will be to books what streaming is to music and film. It’s a differentiated enough experience from actually reading a physical book to push demand.

What dod you think? Do you listen to audiobooks? Do you prefer them to physical books?

Google Play Offering AI Narration for Audiobooks was originally published in CRY Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Creating with my daughter is a dream I never had

The fact that my opinion means something to her means everything to me.

Continue reading on CRY Magazine »

The End of Creativity?

Are we starting to see a theme here? Last week, we discussed what censorship could mean for writers. This week, Safia Bartholomew writes about “clout” and how the need for attention is affecting creativity. The question with clout is are artists really just sabotaging themselves?

Is Clout Killing Creativity

We also talk about the intersection of art and politics. In Posters and Politics, Kern Carter reveals how political imagery has impacted his impressions of America.

And welcoming aboard a new writer to CRY, Jackie Escano talks about her conflict with motherhood and mental health.

As a Mother

We have painful and powerful new stories coming through next week so be sure to visit CRY Magazine.

And don’t forget to follow us on IG @wecrydeep

The End of Creativity? was originally published in CRY Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

As a Mother

Motherhood and Mental Health

I will always be a mother first. A mother of three young blessings. A mother to our Earth, as well as a mother to those in our communities.

As a mother, I have chosen the responsibility of helping my family find the greatness they were born with. It’s the beautiful part of motherhood that can be pressed onto others to create a sense of love.

While my parents divorced at the age of 4, my mother spent most of my childhood working to provide for us. Our bond lacked the essence of quality time, and it was something that I always resented her for. It wasn’t until I became a mother myself that I realized my mothers’ commitment to providing was for my betterment. I’ve faced hardships that my mother had gone through, which has instilled in me the debt I thought she owed. All I feel towards her now are honour and respect.

Mothering and Mental Health

For me, the hardest part of motherhood has been addressing the mental toll. There have been times I have let emotions take the best of me. I let frustrations turn me into a monster, sadness makes me feel like a stranger in my own skin, and anxiety rise to a thousand burning degrees. Getting a mental health break when I’m dealing with personal issues has been tough. Nevertheless, these emotions and experiences have made me who I am and have taught me lessons on how to deal with life. How to deal with the struggles and moments of joy, being grateful at all times, and enjoying the privilege of my situation.

What I’ve learned is that I can get through these emotional stresses with patience. Being patient allows us to hear and be heard. We can live in a world of peace, we just need to take the necessary steps. Establishing patience within ourselves is a learned process, and we need to take the steps towards preventing war within ourselves.

Adrienne Rich said:

“We need to imagine a world in which every woman is the presiding genius of her own body. In such a world women will truly create new life, bringing forth not only children if and as we choose but the visions, and the thinking, necessary to sustain, console and alter human existence-a new relationship to the universe. Sexuality, politics, intelligence, power, motherhood, work, community, intimacy will develop new meanings; thinking itself will be transformed. This is where we have to begin.”

We do all of this while fighting demons both physically and emotionally, yet a mother’s resilience is like no other.

As a mother, my passions have become ignited in wanting to make a change in this world with a strong desire to take action. The future of my children has become my motivation. I aim to leave behind a legacy for each one of them, making a difference and influencing future generations is the end goal.

As mothers, let’s think about the legacy we leave behind because we are the ones to create it. We hold the power to be encouraging, reflective, and involved. We can strengthen our communities through time with those around us.

As mothers, our souls yearn for relationships — connecting with others helps us to learn about ourselves and help one another grow. We can all thrive together as a society once we focus on the vulnerability of those around us. Mothers can lead the way.

As a Mother was originally published in CRY Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

As a Mother — Motherhood and Mental Health

As a Mother — Motherhood and Mental Health

We are the create in creativity

I will always be a mother first. A mother of three young blessings. A mother to our Earth, as well as a mother to those in our communities.

As a mother, I have chosen the responsibility of helping my family find the greatness they were born with. It’s the beautiful part of motherhood that can be pressed onto others to create a sense of love.

While my parents divorced at the age of 4, my mother spent most of my childhood working to provide for us. Our bond lacked the essence of quality time, and it was something that I always resented her for. It wasn’t until I became a mother myself that I realized my mothers’ commitment to providing was for my betterment. I’ve faced hardships that my mother had gone through, which has instilled in me the debt I thought she owed. All I feel towards her now are honour and respect.

Mothering and Mental Health

For me, the hardest part of motherhood has been addressing the mental toll. There have been times I have let emotions take the best of me. I let frustrations turn me into a monster, sadness makes me feel like a stranger in my own skin, and anxiety rise to a thousand burning degrees. Getting a mental health break when I’m dealing with personal issues has been tough. Nevertheless, these emotions and experiences have made me who I am and have taught me lessons on how to deal with life. How to deal with the struggles and moments of joy, being grateful at all times, and enjoying the privilege of my situation.

What I’ve learned is that I can get through these emotional stresses with patience. Being patient allows us to hear and be heard. We can live in a world of peace, we just need to take the necessary steps. Establishing patience within ourselves is a learned process, and we need to take the steps towards preventing war within ourselves.

Adrienne Rich said:

“We need to imagine a world in which every woman is the presiding genius of her own body. In such a world women will truly create new life, bringing forth not only children if and as we choose but the visions, and the thinking, necessary to sustain, console and alter human existence-a new relationship to the universe. Sexuality, politics, intelligence, power, motherhood, work, community, intimacy will develop new meanings; thinking itself will be transformed. This is where we have to begin.”

We do all of this while fighting demons both physically and emotionally, yet a mother’s resilience is like no other.

As a mother, my passions have become ignited in wanting to make a change in this world with a strong desire to take action. The future of my children has become my motivation. I aim to leave behind a legacy for each one of them, making a difference and influencing future generations is the end goal.

As mothers, let’s think about the legacy we leave behind because we are the ones to create it. We hold the power to be encouraging, reflective, and involved. We can strengthen our communities through time with those around us.

As mothers, our souls yearn for relationships — connecting with others helps us to learn about ourselves and help one another grow. We can all thrive together as a society once we focus on the vulnerability of those around us. Mothers can lead the way.

As a Mother — Motherhood and Mental Health was originally published in CRY Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Posters and Politics — Art Is How We Remember

Art’s influence on how we understand politics is powerful.

Continue reading on CRY Magazine »

Is Clout Killing Creativity?

Last week, my friend shared an article with a disturbing headline in our group chat: “GRAPHIC: Azealia Banks appears to dig up a dead cat and boils it”.

Disgusted and confused as to why someone would do that and even worse to film it for the world to see, I avoided clicking on the link. However, it was the question my friend posed in the chat that caused me to pause and reflect: “Is clout killing creativity?”

Clout is essentially cultural currency; referring to the power or social influence that a person holds. On the internet, it can be used to obtain just about anything. Most importantly, attention. In recent years, social media platforms have given a lot of people the freedom to do and say whatever they want with the intention of getting their ‘likes’ and 150,000 views of fame. There is always someone doing whatever it takes for people to say their name, like the recent “Corona challenge” or the controversial career of rapper, Tekashi 6ix9ine.

“There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.” Oscar Wilde

But not everyone who actively chases ‘likes’, viral moments and amassing large followings do outlandish and outrageous antics. For creatives trying to make a living or keep their spot at the top, attention is capital. Which makes me wonder if clout chasing is sometimes a necessary action creatives must take to cut through the noise online and call attention to our work.

Garnering enough eyes on a creative’s work is the life-changing difference between a hobby and making a living doing what you love. Sometimes it takes creating art or writing to entertain a crowd in order to be heard; it’s making your work your performance.

Clout in art isn’t new

Although we now have a word to sum up the behaviour, clout’s presence in art and culture has been around for a long time. We’ve witnessed so many iconic examples, especially in music. Madonna has cultivated an extensive and prosperous career garnering headlines with boundary-pushing actions. From Religious groups protesting her ‘Like a Prayer’ video, saying that it contained blasphemous use of Christian imagery, to her three-way kiss of pop princesses Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera at the MTV Music Awards, Madonna knows exactly what it takes to keep people talking about her art.

However, one of the earliest examples is Andy Warhol who understood that attention could be commodified. Recognizing the social capital and impact of celebrity, he created art specifically with the intention of capturing and packaging the allure of fame.

In The Economics of Attention, Author Richard A. Lanham describes how Andy’s own ascent to fame became a part of his artistic expression and creative cache.

“Andy knew he had to create a public personality that would function as an attention trap as efficient as his artwork. As he himself said of his endless party-going and art-going: ‘But then, we weren’t just at the art exhibit — we were the art exhibit.”

Lanham makes a great point that art is whatever the artist wishes to call to our attention. It is an act of attention the artist wishes to invoke in the beholder.

Which is what I believe articulates the difference between the continuous and directionless chase for attention that has become the norm on social media and the kind of art that makes us uncomfortable in order to feel something or see the world differently.

It’s All in the Intention

When your work is your currency, it’s hard not to get lost in the race for clicks.

When we see lucrative opportunities and massive followings flow in the direction of what’s trending, it’s difficult to not be swayed by it.

Whether it’s deciding to record a dancing TikTok video even when it feels inauthentic to who you are or writing a click-bait headline just to increase your readership, staying true to your creative values can sometimes feel like the road less traveled.

Building a creative career is a marathon but it still requires some risks along the way. Which means seeking attention is not wrong, however, it is dependent on what you are willing to do in order to get it.

So to answer my friend’s question: “is clout killing creativity?”

I’d say, time will show us whose art stands the test of time like Madonna’s and Warhol’s work. Creativity only dies when it is not linked to anything — it’s not grounded in a value, a message or a purpose.

Is Clout Killing Creativity? was originally published in CRY Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Call for submissions — is jealousy stealing your joy?

Call for submissions — is jealousy stealing your joy?

We all have dreams of turning our passion for writing and creating into something the world recognizes. There’s an image we hold in our minds of what our careers can look like and some of us are closer to that image than others.

When we look across the virtual room and see our peers absolutely killing it and getting the attention that we’re working so hard to achieve, our emotions can get the best of us. We compare. Even though we know we’re not supposed to, our initial reaction is some version of “why not me?”

The question we need to ask ourselves is how much are we letting those comparisons impact our own journey? Are we becoming deflated because we’re not at the level of that other person we saw rise to success? Do we start to push ourselves to work harder or force ourselves to do things outside of our character to get attention?

Are the emotions you feel watching the success of other artists stealing the joy you feel in creating your own work?

Write about it. Maybe you have a story of a time you felt exactly like this. Maybe you’ve done something you never thought you would to get attention. Maybe you have parameters in place to protect yourself from falling into this trap.

Same rules as always:If you’re already a writer for CRY, go ahead and submit.If you’re not a writer for CRY but would like to submit to this request, let us know and we’ll add you ASAP.Be as creative as you want in your submissions. As long as you stick to the topic, we’ll consider it.Just because you submit doesn’t mean we’ll post. If you haven’t heard back from us in three days, consider that a pass.Deadline to submit is this Friday, January 22.

Please reach out if you have any questions at all. If you are new to Medium, here’s how you submit a draft to a publication.

Call for submissions — is jealousy stealing your joy? was originally published in CRY Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.