Kern Carter's Blog, page 125
March 8, 2021
March 5, 2021
Backlash I Faced While Making Tough Career Choices
In 8 years, I got 15 offer letters and I worked in 10 jobs with different companies. I don’t regret anything now I ever will.
March 3, 2021
Why A Jamaican Girl Can’t Be A Disney Princess
A Look Into The Mother-Daughter Dynamic In The Jamaican Home
Photo by Monkey BusinessThe black Jamaican family structure sees an emphasis on the importance of a biological matriarch, be it a mother, grandmother, and in some cases, even a great grandmother, who runs the household. To a great extent, we can say this is caused by patriarchy, and from that, we can look at the influences of colonialism and slavery in furthering these ideals. Traditionally, in the Caribbean, and Jamaica, in particular, it is said that the woman runs the house while the man finances it, (terribly misogynistic but, we move). This stance in the Jamaican context has given rise, over the ages, to the matrifocal home structure, which, as I defined earlier, is a home headed by a matriarch.
As a child, cable television provided an escape into a whole new world in my small island home. Tsk, the media. One of the most effective instruments of globalization, as it made things seem so accessible, but so inaccessible at the same time. Walt Disney’s pictures, for sure, had a great impact on me and have stuck longer with me than one would initially think. Their ability to provide entertainment in those short, fleeting moments as a child, and their ability to help us understand some of life’s challenges during adulthood, is something I often think about. That consistent duality is quite interesting when you think about it, especially considering the perspectives of young black Jamaican women.
A lot of children these days will have to be told about DVDs and VCRs, while I can simply remember my experience using alcohol or the vapor from my mouth to clean the DVD and the videotape respectively. I remember my Mom having to do just that so that I could watch some of the older Walt Disney movies. This was around the first time when I watched shows such as Snow White and the 7 Dwarves, Cinderella, and all those pictures with princesses who presented a particular way, i.e. white. As I grew older, conversations with themes surrounding race and color became more prominent when speaking about Walt Disney’s pictures. However, it wasn’t until I read it the other day, that I realized that most of the storylines in Disney films were void of a biological mother.
Typically Disney movies will have the death of the biological mother prior to the start of the film or during the film. In other instances, there may be mother figures such as the stepmother, foster mother, or older sibling who took care of the children, including the Disney princess. This was intentional apparently, as Walt Disney lost his Mom at a very young age, and by way of that, his trauma became a motif in his stories. I guess I can make an assumption that possibly, (just a thought but), that’s why a Jamaican girl doesn’t have her own Disney Princess.
Back to my initial point about Jamaican daughters not relating to Disney princesses. Yes, I know it’s not just because of that. I know there are several other things affecting these story developments, including, American exceptionalism, racism, third-world-ism, or simply the fact that there isn’t enough Caribbean representation in these spaces. But let’s give them the benefit of the doubt. Let’s say that Walt Disney’s trauma turned trope, was the reason why Sebastian was the only thing closest to the Caribbean in a Walt Disney picture.
If a Jamaican girl were to be a Disney princess, she’d definitely identify with Cinderella. I mean Brandy already played the Black Cinderella but, was she Jamaican? No. Would it make a difference? Highly likely. You see, a lot of Jamaican daughters have been, in some way, affected by what is called the “Cinderella Complex”. The “Cinderella Complex” was theorized by Collete Dowling in her book “Cinderella Complex” (1981). Her book detailed, funny enough, the experience of a lot of traditional Jamaican mothers, the unconscious fear of taking care of themselves, the Cinderella Complex. People who are often influenced by this complex identify with Cinderella as a character who is beautiful, smart, well regarded as the fairest in the land, but stuck in a vulnerable state. And, much like Cinderella, they “need” a man to save them from their misfortune and then live happily ever after. Traditional mothers do not always believe in self-sufficiency and often push for their daughters to live life as if preparing for the debutante season. If we’re looking at it from this perspective, a Jamaican girl could be Disney royalty, but does the end justify the means? I think not.
But how does the Jamaican girl differ from the Walt Disney trope? Sireka, one of my favorite writers, in an ode to her mother, captured one of the most integral bonding scenarios of a Jamaican mother and daughter, the combing of her hair on Sunday night, in her poem “Sunday Night Rituals”. These are the moments when tradition and customs are shared most, between a mother and daughter, during her formative years. From the proper way to make the rice and peas (for themselves) to the way to soothe menstrual cramps, a respectable and caring mother is needed to impart that knowledge. We see in Disney pictures, most times, the lack of this. We see where princesses are often left to fend for themselves or have to cleave to a stand-in “mother figure”. As such, we can see that once again, Jamaican daughters are unable to relate to the Disney princess because of the level of bonding which exists between both women.
While listening to an episode of “Like A Real Book Club” a podcast produced by the beautiful, driven, and smart Jamaican women over by Rebel Women Lit (*INSERTS FIRE EMOJIS*), I was reintroduced to the character Margot, from “Here Comes The Sun”, a Caribbean novel by Nicole Dennis-Benn, who uses her words to tell the stories of survival of Jamaican women. One of her themes in this novel was the Jamaican mother-daughter dynamic, and how often, when Jamaican mothers do things out of survival, it hurts their child. In a lot of situations, the mother uses the need to survive as a justification and stands resolute with their choices. This may result in pent-up resentment as the choices could be considered selfish. For example, the notion that “I’m not talking about this with you because I’m protecting you” is something that is very popular within Jamaican parental relationships. This sometimes gives children the idea that they’re being cast aside or in a metaphorical sense “left orphaned” or in this case “motherless”. Taking that into consideration, we could possibly see a Disney Princess with this storyline.
One of the purposes of this article was to cause you to think about the complex and under-told stories of Caribbean women, which don’t get to mainstream media. Are they unworthy of grace and happily ever afters? Are Caribbean women not allowed to dream? Caribbean women deserve to be at the center of stories that allow them to escape gender roles and societal expectations. They deserve to be more than mothers and managers of a household. Caribbean women deserve to be royalty. And I mean that in the most unhotep way possible.
Why A Jamaican Girl Can’t Be A Disney Princess was originally published in CRY Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
February 27, 2021
Twitter Thinks You’ll Pay For Tweets: Are They Wrong?
If you missed it this week, Twitter is introducing a few new features. One of them is a Groups feature that appears to be similar to what you can do on Facebook. The other feature is Twitter’s version of a newsletter that followers can subscribe to. I’m still not sure exactly how that will work, but newsletters are a big deal now so Twitter is riding the wave on that one.
The most interesting new feature that caused Twitter to trend on its own platform this week has been the revelation that it will soon be possible to charge your followers for Tweets.
The purpose of this, I assume, is for creators. They want to give content creators a chance to earn revenue directly from their audience. My question is has Twitter spoiled everyone too much to expect them to alter their behaviour? Meaning that we’re all so accustomed to using Twitter as a place for posting and reading random thoughts. The overwhelming majority of these posts aren’t anywhere close to being exclusive content. Asking followers to now pay for tweets might be a bit of a stretch.
An opportunity for creatorsFrom the creator side, it does look like an opportunity. There are questions: will paid tweets have a larger character count? Will there be a separate platform for paid Twitter users and creators? Will there be a minimum charge?
I have to admit that I’m a bit skeptical. I’m all for creators making money, but I’m not sure that this is the way forward on Twitter. Obviously, the people at Twitter have done massive research and must truly believe that this is an opportunity. I mentioned earlier that they’re on-trend and they are.
Substack has given life to newsletters (read my latest entry “My Failures As A Father”). So much so that Facebook is adding newsletter functionality this summer. And platforms like Patreon, which allows creators to charge their fans a subscription fee, are becoming more and more popular.
Twitter wants pieces of these pies and these new features show that.
What do you think? Is this the right move for Twitter? Can you see yourself paying for tweets?
Twitter Thinks You’ll Pay For Tweets: Are They Wrong? was originally published in CRY Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
February 25, 2021
February 23, 2021
February 22, 2021
My Journey As A Solo Traveler
Sharing the pictures and tit-bits of the places I visited since 2015.
February 20, 2021
For the Love of Writing
This week on CRY
This week was all about the different journeys we take in our creative careers. Being a writer or artist can feel like such a gamble. Depending on your goals, on whether or not you’re trying to make your art your career, the journey takes on so many shapes.
Gurpreet Dhariwal writes about picking up the paintbrush after 30 years.
Why I Picked Up The Paintbrush Again After 30 Years
WhenVerbieann Hardy path back to writing stretched over her entire life. She’s in her 70s now and has found her way back to words. Verbieann says:
“I did not have the courage or self-belief to become a full-time writer when I was young. I regret that, but then I regret most roads not taken.”When Did I Fall In Love With Writing
Then there is Carlos Anthony, whose writing journey was interrupted when he became a teenage parent.
“My whole purpose of writing them down was to help process what I was feeling. When I realized how much of it was my fault and could have avoided it, I developed a purpose for breaking this repeated cycle that I saw in my community.”Perseverance Prepared Me For My Purpose
Every week, CRY shares stories of writers and artists navigating their creative journey.
Follow us on IG @wecrydeep.
For the Love of Writing was originally published in CRY Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
February 18, 2021
When Did I Fall in Love With Writing?
Image by NuvolanevicataWe moved a lot, my eight siblings and me. Sometimes, they infringed my personal space. My stories disappeared. These were invaluable because, after trauma, I lost two things: a prodigious memory that enabled me to recall the page of any event in a book and an ability to create fantasy.
When not writing, I read everything I could get my hands on, including “ Love is a many-splendored thing” before I was eleven. The stories of the Orient fascinated me. Not until I grew up did I realize its unsuitability, but the sexual bits never disturbed me.
Foreign agents embroiled Guyana in racial unrest in my late teens. Hundreds died. I wrote an article to a national newspaper pleading for peace. I felt elated when they headlined it and again was overcome by the power of words. But I never, ever thought of earning a living as a writer.
Being a writer was to be touched by stardust. I was an ordinary girl. I enjoyed the writing workshops because I loved writing, but I wanted a career in nursing to do good. In the meantime, I adapted Biblical scenes for Church plays.
When I lived in England, I studied continuously, worked really hard to achieve professional excellence, and invested time in deep friendships. Writing drifted to the background. I undertook a research project to help homeless families and my supervising professor was Head of the Health Studies Department of the university.
He was an excellent mentor and in a gentle nudge after he reviewed my literary search, he declared: “You are a writer. You’re good at it.” His rare praise gratified me but did not motivate me to write except for the Christmas letters.
After the completion of thirteen years of professional and academic studies, I returned to college for a writing class. It was fun. I liked the assignments and being forced to have deadlines. However, as my parents’ health declined, I moved to America. Writing will wait. Writing and I was having a long courtship.
Within two months of migrating, I had joined a writing class and met two people whose friendship has enriched my life. One became a published writer.
Two years later, I attended a high school reunion in Washington D.C. My red hair was now transformed by a brown wig, my grey-brown eyes had become dark brown after fifty years. Some guys did not recognize me. A girlfriend prompted. “This is the girl with those great essays!’
They laughed loudly in recognition. I never knew that my writing would distinguish me although once our teacher had read my essay to demonstrate what he wanted.
Over the years, I met several authors; so many that there is a shelf in my bookcase of writers known to me personally.
One was my friend’s husband, a priest; another, a college friend. I realize they are ordinary people who had the tenacity and passion to succeed. I was ready to devote myself to writing.
Once again, work was an awful mistress. In this unfamiliar country, I had to prove myself all over again. However, I kept my friends from writing class and went to two writing conferences.
One of my poems won first prize In a statewide competition. I read another at a Jazz Café at Christmas. The Gazette printed two Essays of Faith and the Prov. 31 magazines published an article on Single women.
Virginia Woolf in her spirited style claimed — ‘ Writing is like sex . First you do it for love , then you do it for your friends , and then you do it for money.’
So far, I’ve been writing for love and friends.
There was a happy disruption when my husband fell in love instantly and persuaded me to marry him. I left my job, moved across the country, and trained as a copywriter, taking a range of courses.
Then I undertook courses on how to be a free-lancer and run a business. Despite significant investment, my marketing skills are inadequate and I’m still waiting for my first client.
The writing landscape has changedWith my eighties within striking distance, I review my love affair. It has been more constant than I deserve. I never lacked affirmation, but I still doubted my ability to earn as a writer.
Six months ago, my husband died suddenly. For the first time in my adult life, I can put my writing first. The writing landscape has changed in two significant ways since I fell in love.
1. I have to contend with the digital age and computers that did not exist when I wrote in notebooks.
Technology is a blessing but it can be a chronic pain if you thoughtlessly press delete or forget to save hours of work.
2. Then there are social media, and the email list deemed essential for writers. Why can’t I just write? Marketing may be an essential part of life, but for me, it is a distraction.
Despite these hurdles, I press on, relieved and grateful that I have another chance with my enduring love.
Hindsight allows for greater insightI did not have the courage or self-belief to become a full-time writer when I was young. I regret that, but then I regret most roads not taken. However, if one believes as I do that words matter, then writing three theses and endless reports was not wasteful of my talent.
Getting a few more marks for a 30,000-word dissertation was good, but getting a judge to agree on the welfare of a child was consequential.
Looking back, I’ve had a faithful relationship with words throughout my life. It has varied in intensity and purpose, but it has remained to enrich my world. Not every writer’s life has a straight trajectory. The detours I took have created some fascinating stories.
Being a professional writer now is as challenging as any adventure, where each stage of the journey is an achievement… and like Virginia Woolf, I would like to do it for money.
Originally published at https://medium.com on February 18, 2021.
When Did I Fall in Love With Writing? was originally published in CRY Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
