Bryan Parady's Blog, page 29

Keep Your Mind Strong

My wife and I were talking the other night about how people cope with difficulties, and how some people can get through tough things even if they are not fully prepared granted that they are mentally strong, while others who are more well prepared can struggle if they don’t have the mental strength to get through it.

The body is a powerful weapon, if exercised and fed properly it is capable of a lot of things, far more than we know is possible. The problem is not always physical when we think of it. So many times the mind can actually heal the body just by believing it is healed. Our brains are capable of incredible things.

Why are some people able to do incredible human feats, while others stay at a standard level? Sure hard work and physical toughness helps, but mental toughness is worth far more.

No matter what we do in life we have to stay mentally strong, stay determined, stay focused. If we lose any of those three things we will start to waver and lose our focus. Everyone has a different way to stay mentally strong. Find what works for you. Whether it’s listening to an encouraging song and getting pumped up. Or maybe it’s giving yourself pep talks. Maybe it’s writing notes and putting them in places you will see them everyday. Maybe it’s finding someone to keep you accountable.

Regardless of what method works for you, keep yourself determined and strong mentally. Keep your thoughts positive and your life will turn positive.

Integrity

What is integrity? Really. There’s a lot of good definitions floating around about integrity a lot of good quotes. But what does it really mean to have integrity and does it really exist? I think integrity does exist. I think it’s buried, though sometimes really really deep inside it’s there.

If you ask most people to define right and wrong, they can give a really good text book answer. People know the difference. They know what’s acceptable in society, what’s legal, what’s not.

Sure there are some issues that may have some gray area, but for the most part right and wrong are black and white.

So why then are there so many issues? If integrity is present in everyone, why isn’t it displayed?

I don’t fully know why. It’s a question I’ve been asking myself. It’s a question that puzzles me greatly.

So is it that there’s a lack of integrity , a lack of morals? Or a lack of leadership?

If that integrity is there, then why isn’t it shown? Is it because our society and peers don’t encourage behavior that mirrors integrity? Is it because it’s easy let things slip one by one until small things turn to big things, and bad decisions lead to worse decisions?

Young people do not understand the weight of integrity, but it’s not entirely their fualt. They are surrounded by music, videos, and a culture that says it’s okay to be bad, it’s okay to be disrespectful, it’s okay to only worry about yourself. It’s okay even to commite crimes, because if all these celebrities they look up to can commit crimes and get away with it, then it must be alright.

Maybe it’s time to stop shaking our head at adolescence and start stepping in and modeling integrity. Speak it into their lives, build it up, and show them what it looks like. Integrity is there in all of us, but it needs nurturing, it needs encouragement, and it needs a role model to go off.

We can and must do this if we want any lasting change to come in regard to integrity. So let’s stop pointing the finger and start doing what’s right.

Excuses

Excuses are all around us. We’ve all had them before. We find one when we are too tired, when we have prior commitments, when we don’t really want to tell someone something because we are afraid of how they might take it.

Excuses are like weeds, they pop up where you don’t want them, and once you get in the habit of coming up with them they sprout up more and more, until everything is just one big excuse.

We excuse ourselves from spending time with our family because our job is just too demanding, we excuse ourselves from going after our goals because it we have obligations, not enough money, or not enough courage to take the leap of faith required.

Whatever the excuse is, it still has one purpose, to keep you from reaching your full potential. Excuses will always hold you back from being who you were born to be. You are more than your excuses, they shouldn’t and can’t hold you captive unless you let them.

So bury the excuses and get ou there and face your fears, problems, and obstacles head on. It will be worth it.

Casual Sex

There’s a term that is very well known..too well known in fact.

I was involved in a discussion recently about casual sex. It was brought up as if it was nothing. A guy and girl hook up for a one night stand, or maybe for a few nights, then go about their merry ways.

Part of the discussion involved “safe” practices for casual sex.

There’s like this switch that kicks on in my head that wants to scream and shout.

Casual sex?! There is no such thing as “casual” sex. Because sex is not casual. Somewhere along the line society thought that just having sex and never seeing each other was okay, in fact that it’s normal. But the scars, the wounds, the baggage that it causes goes ignored.

Sex with anyone has consequences if done prematurely. There is no way around that. It may not show up right away. But physically, mentally, or emotionally there are consequences. And it’s sometimes not till years later that those memories, that those bags from the past come knocking.

We don’t need to get more comfortable with casual sex, or simply practice safe sex techniques. We need to be abstaining from hookups and casual sex. We need to be focusing on men stepping up to the plate and teaching adolescent boys on how to safeguard girls. How to preserve dignity and purity, both for girls and for themselves and their own families some day.

I wish I had this in my life. I had some basic foundation and built on that by my own studying, but there was still a lack.

I don’t want there to be misconceptions or things that go left unsaid for countless other young men who need to know. Who need to know how to value someone’s heart.

These are the practices we need to implement.

Keep Learning

I am amazed sometimes at how much there is out there to learn.  There are so many historical and modern day things that we could spend a life time just studying and never learn it all.

Everything in life should be approached with the goal of learning.  What can learn from this?  How can I broaden my horizons?

It’s really easy to get into a mindset where we think that we know it all, or worse that we don’t need to learn anything else. This hurts our development and hurts us from achieving our goals in life because there is always someone who knows more than us on a subject, and there is always more books that can take us to a more in-depth study.

Learning grows us, shapes us, and aids us as we push hard to pursue our own dreams.

Never stop learning, never stop asking questions.  Discover, read, ask, and you’ll find just how much is out there.

Two Are Better Than One

So I’ve been away from my wife for nearly 2 and a half months now. It’s by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done. In our blogs we both write all the time about following your dreams, doing what your passion is, and reaching for the stars. The fact that we run a business, are in college, I work full time, we have a child, and my wife runs a ministry is a busy life, then add me being in boot camp and training for 8 months and it is not easy.

Thank goodness for modern technology. Going from snail mail for 2 months in boot camp to skyping every day has been a blessing.

It’s made me question a lot of things in regards to what it really means to chase after your dreams. I’d be lying if I said it’s been easy. I’ve doubted a lot what I am doing, I’ve questioned whether I made the right decision. Deep down I have no doubt, but that ‘s not to say there aren’t times when doubts come.

I know I have to do this in order to fight against human trafficking. I know this is the route that will lead me to working in that field. We both know that, my wife and I. If there’s one thing that knaws at us it’s the abuse and neglect that are so prevalent in this world. We want to help stop it, but fighting for causes takes sacrifice. Nothing comes easy in life.

Having to get through this has been hard, but I cannot imagine going through it without my wife. The verse that says 2 are better than one is so true. There have been really depressing days for both of us and we have been able to encouarage and cheer each other on during those times.

I am definitely no expert on anything because I am working through all this myself. But what I do know is working towards your goals takes a lot of work. But even more importantly work together, work in unison. Be in agreement with your spouse about what you are doing. If not, rather than building each other up, you will tear each other down.

It’s not easy her being in grad school and running a business all the time, but I know it’s her passion and so I back her up and do whatever I can to help out. Likewise it’s hard me being away from home this long and her having to do everything by herself, but she knows it’s important to me and will get us to a better place.

Because truly if you are chasing your dreams together, that doesn’t just benefit one person, it makes both people more unified and stronger.

Flexible

There’s something that’s been a little difficult for me but I am learning it more and more.

It’s the art of being flexible.  No I’m not talking about wrapping my legs around my head until I can’t breathe using some yoga technique.  I mean flexible in how I expect things to go.  It can be really easy to plan how something is going to go and then when it doesn’t I can end up getting frustrated, upset, and even angry.

But none of that helps me.  It  just keeps me stuck, and ruins my day and my plans.

A far better approach to handling things when they don’t go as planned is staying flexible. Make a plan but know that things may not go the way you want and if they don’t, you will be okay.  You can adjust and make changes.

Life will always constantly be bringing changes, and things that weren’t planned will always pop up.  What’s worse is those unplanned course altering events seem to happen at the worst possible times.

But by changing the way you think about those situations, and coming to expect them, you will be able to then deal with them and keep going.

Never Tell Me The Odds

People love to tell other people what can’t be done. They love to say that you can’t.  Much of this stems from resentment and fear that they can’t pursue their own dream.  It’s very easy to shoot down ideas as impossible. Whether you are shooting down your own idea or that of someone else.

But you have to take the odds and throw them out the window.  Odds don’t matter.  If you look at history, everyone who ever tried to do something great was shot down by everyone around them, but they persevered, ignored the odds, and achieved their goal.

Odds are simply numbers to be broken.  You can make it to your goal, you can make it to your destination, and regardless of what people say will or won’t work, go after it with all your heart.

You’ve got one shot at life, make the most of it, and look at the odds as numbers to defy.

Making It

 

Starting out to do something is scary stuff, we often don’t know what will happen. There are unknowns, questions, and doubts.

We doubt the outcome, doubt our success, doubt whether we should have even started in the first place.

Understand though…..this is NORMAL.

Anyone who’s ever done great things has had theses struggles, has had doubts.  We often think that those who have done amazing feats are somehow superhuman and never get scared, never doubt, and never have an issue with anything, but this is the furthest thing from the truth.  Anyone who has triumphed has overcome some very hard obstacles and has gone through difficult times.

Everyone at some point wants to give up, throw in the towel, and just give up.  So recognize that it is a normal part of the process, one that will pass, and that you have to get through. Otherwise you will quit and never make it.

So keep going, don’t quit, and accept your doubts, then move on past them.  It will get better.

What Do We Know?

I was listening to an audio book this morning dealing with the Afghanistan war.  There was a striking point that the author made.  He was talking about what it was like watching the news while he and his fellow soldiers were stationed overseas and hearing a bunch of news people vehemently argue the different points of the war.  He then stated how none of them really knew what they were talking about.  Sure they may have done some research but they hadn’t BEEN there.

How much do we look at life like this?  We are so quick to shout out our opinion (I admit I’ve done it many times), when we haven’t even experienced whatever we are shouting about.  We point the fingers at things we assume are wrong, but we’ve never been through it, seen it, or walked with someone who’s been through it.

We think we have it all figured out, when in reality we don’t have a clue.

For instance what if I was describing what the ocean was like, and was talking about what it was like on my recent visit to it.  Now suppose someone butted in and started telling me I was wrong about the ocean, because he had read some books on it, and watched some youtube videos about oceans, though he had never been there. It would  be frustrating right?

It really made me stop and think about what things I am for and or against, and how much more I really need to understand before I just jump out there and shout out my opinion on some things.