James Hauenstein's Blog, page 62

Still Whining About American Football

Yesterday I mentioned how I am beginning to hateAmerican Football.It is because theNew England Patriotsare in theSuperbowlfor the eleventh time in their history.Winning five of them. But I am a little fickle.(I never thought I would ever use that word in my lifetime.)If my favorite team,theGreen Bay Packerswere constantly in theSuperbowlI probably wouldn't mind at all.They callGreen Bay Title Townbecause thePackershave won13 Championships.Nine championshipsbefore theNFL & AFLmergerand fourSuperbowlssince.I don't like dynasties.I want to see different teams in theChampionship Gameyear after year.But I know it has a lot to do with coaching.That is why theSuperbowl Trophyis called theVince Lombardi Trophy.  I feel thatBill Belichick,thePatiotshead coach, is the best coach in theNFLtoday.When he finally retires he might be known as the best ever.Even though his teamand his quarterback are known forCheating.But,with so much at stake,I believe whatMark Grace,the formerMajor League Baseball Playersaid is true with formerand today'sProfessional Athletes."If you ain't cheating, you ain't trying!" This is,I Wonder How Bill Belichick Would Fare Against Vince Lombardi In Head To Head Competition?Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“I love coaching football, and winning a Super Bowl was a goal I’ve had for a long time. But it has never been my purpose in life. My purpose in life is simply to glorify God. We have to be careful that we don’t let the pursuit of our life’s goals, no matter how important they seem, cause us to lose sight of our purpose. I coach football. But the good I can do to glorify God along the way is my real purpose.”
- Tony Dungy -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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Relapse

Even though I went to theDoctorand got prescriptions for antibioticsand prednisone,I relapsed with the flu over the weekend.I was so out of it that I wasn't able to think about what I would write when I did have a chance.I thought about writing how I am beginning to hate theNFL because the same team,the dreadedNew England Patriots,seem to be in theSuperbowlyear after year.At least theLos Angeles Rams made it this year.Then, I thought about writing a positive take on all the doomsayers predicting the end of civilization as we know it.It's not a cometor an asteroid coming to destroy theEarth.It's not evenTerroristsorNorth Koreausing atomic weapons to disrupt our societies across the globe.The new destroyer of our way of life?Technology. Did anyone see the60 Minutesepisode twoSundaysago when a scientist fromChina,trained in theUnited States,said that forty percent of the workforce will be unemployed within twenty years?A little ambitious in his predictions if you ask me.
But technology is on its way. Like I have been saying all along,as in myPostBe Important, that you have to stay up on how the future is going to affect your ability to be employed.You have to stay important to the companyor the field of your chosen as a profession.Like when theModel Tstarted a whole new industry,replacingHorseswhichwas the staple for mankind to do his work
or for travel for over three thousand years!Find out how the new technologies will affect youand do something about it.Don't be one of thoseConservativeswho wish nothing would change in lifeand everything will stay the same.Motivate Yourselfbecause everything changes in life constantly.That's what makes it so exciting! This is,I Guess I Did Talk About FootballAnd About Technology,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“Create. Not for the money. Not for the fame. Not for the recognition. But for the pure joy of creating something and sharing it.”
- Ernest Barbaric -


That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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Reminiscing

Reminiscing about my kids when they were young.
Here is I
Post
I wrote back on
Monday, November 16th, 2015
called
The Derriere.

***** 
I am the proud
Papa
of seven children.I started having kids late in life though.Which means,my last three children were born 1 year apart from each other.Which means,I had three kids in diapers at the same time!The oldest of the three was a little instigator.Always daring the younger two to do something funnyor foolish,depending on the idea,while she sat backand watched.(Then they grow up to be teenagers and are still a handful.)Like all parents,whenever my kids got anowie,I would say,"Should I kiss it to make it feel better?"Kids all over the
World
believe if there parents kiss theirboo-boos,everything feels so much better.One day,after a long day at work,I came home to find the three little ones watching the Disney Channelon
TV.As soon as the eldest one saw me,she leans over,from her sitting position,like she was pointing her butt at meand says,"Daddy I fell down and hurt my bottom. Will you kiss it and make it feel better?"All three kids,still wearing diapers mind you,started rolling on the living room floor hysterically.They wouldn't stop laughing.That is baby humor at its best.And no,I did not kiss her derriere!

This is,Still Willing To Kiss Boo-Boos If They Ask Me To,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.” - Rodney Dangerfield -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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Professor Boris Kamara Rakoczy

   My name is Professor Boris Kamara Rakoczy. Professor Boris for short. I am head of Supernatural Studies at the Eötvös Loránd University in Hungary. A prestigious Paranormal Research University based in Budapest since 1635. Being a non-believer of the supernatural myself and studying the phenomenon of the paranormal is a double edge sword, even in today's world. You would think by now that even the most rural of Hungarian would be educated enough to stop believing in such fantasy creatures like Vampires, Witches, or Ghosts. But then I would be out of a job.
   I no longer teach the history and folklore of the old Hungarian culture at the school. My job now consists mostly of debunking what people believe are haunting them. My grant money is paid directly to the University by the Hungarian Government to finally put an end to Witch burning, ritual Vampire burials, and Ghostly visitations. Bringing the Hungarian people into the 21st Century instead of our countrymen belonging to the 16th Century.
   It is easy to stop a village from burning a suspected Witch if I reach the crime scene in time. I can prove that the mass hysteria the villagers are experiencing over seeing flying creatures is due to the town's Baker. Scrapping off the mold from his old bread does not completely clean the bread. What the Baker does not know is, the colorful mold he sees on the surface of food is just the tip of what is going on inside bread. He is trying to make a profit and the villagers pay by their hallucinations.
   When one of the many elderly secluded backwoodsmen apparently die suddenly and there is a rash of children waking up in the morning with small looking bite marks afterwards, it is not because the woodsman is rising from the grave in the middle of the night to feed on sleeping kids. I can prove that bed bugs are passed along through the school system from one child to the next.
   As far as phantom spirits go, it could be something as simple as having great eyesight on a very clear and bright day and a person sees for the first time the little microbes swimming on the fluid covering their eyes. Before microscopes, people were actually executed for seeing these microbes on their eyeballs.
   Ghost are usually the easiest to debunk with the local villagers.
   But not this time.
   I saw one myself!
   I am in the town of Kiskunfélegyháza where I have witnessed my first true sighting.
   My mentor, Professor Liechtenstein, told me he witnessed a ghost phenomenon back when he first started. He said the only way someone has ever seen a real ghost is by the lack of clothing on the specter.
   We have all seen the pictures of supposed ghost, the way movies depict ghost, and the way writers describe a ghost to their readers. But according to Professor Liechtenstein, the clothing a person dies in does not pass on to the next realm with the deceased. When we die, our spirit leaves behind all worldly possessions.
   So it was quite the shock when I saw a female strolling along the river in her birthday suite.
   I do not know what I am going to say to my superiors. They will think I have gone mad.
   My next step is to track the specter the first chance I get and see where it leads me.
   I will continue this correspondence once I have further evidence.
This is,Professor Boris Kamara Rakoczy Telling You To Stay Tuned,

 And,
“Of all ghosts the ghosts of our old loves are the worst.”
- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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Saw My Doc Today

In honor of seeing my
Doctor
today,
I would like to bring back this humorous
Post
I wrote from
Thursday, October 22nd, 2015.

*****
I recently told all of you that I went to see my
Doctor
in my
Post,A Couple Of Observations.
Here are some more observations I made of that day.

When I went in to see my Doctor, I said, "Hey Doc, I accidentally swallowed a whole bottle of sleeping pills!" She told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

Did you hear about the newest "High Tech" they are using in the delivery room? It' cordless!

I found out the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer while I was there. The taste.

Isn't it a little bit unnerving that doctors call what they do, a practice?

At least I know I drive too fast to worry about cholesterol.

I started complaining about this pain I was having to my doctor,she said, "We've run every test we can think of and the results show you're out of money."

What I would like to know is, "What do you call a doctor who finishes last in his or hers medical school class?" Answer: "A Doctor."
 

This is,Hoping My Doctor Has A Sense Of Humor Before She Cuts Me Open,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“Doctors are great--as long as you don't need them.”- Edward Rosenbaum -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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The Five Best Posts Of The Month Of November 2018

I always like doingThe Five Best Posts Of The Monthbecause it gives me an idea of what kind of stories my readers like most about myBlog.And secretly,I am always hoping one of my stories will make it into the top five.Well,I don't want to bore you with my babbling,so here areThe Five Best Posts Of November, 2018!

The Fifth Best Post Of The Month Of November, 2018 Is;Goodbye TwitterMy humorous take on how I find myself addicted to my cell phone. How I need a twelve step program to break away from it and the first step is to delete the Twitter feeds I follow.
The Fourth Best Post Of The Month Of November Is;My Lathe Of Heaven Of Commercial FictionThis is Post is number four in a series of five about the breakdowns of the different type of stories I write. First, The Lathe Of Heaven is a Chinese proverb from Chuang Tzu and used as the title for a famous book written by Ursula K. Le Guin. And one of my favorite movies of all time.  The Third Best Post Of November Is;Dueling FictionHistorical Fiction of mine about a fictitious character named Aaron Hamilton who asks Andrew Jackson for his advice in dueling. This is during a time in American history where dueling was outlawed but still considered a gentleman's way of settling disputes. 
 The Second Best Post Is;James Hauenstein Is Going To MarsThe true story about how I signed up with NASA to have my name put on a chip to be sent up with the "Insight Mission." I might never make it to Mars, but my name has.
The Number One Best Post Of The Month Of November, 2018 Is;Happy Thanksgiving This Coming ThursdayMy wish for everyone, including people who don't celebrate Thanksgiving, to have a great day on that particular Thursday. Plus ten musical videos I thought might bring everyone a little enjoyment.
This is,Thanking You All For Your PatronageJim Hauenstein,
And,
“My blog is a collection of answers people don’t want to hear to questions they didn’t ask.”
- Sebastyne Young -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
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What Would You Do?

I have to get this off my chest.I know personal events in my life is not why you come to thisBlogto read.But,if I have a thought on a subject,it stays with me until I can express it in some way.Maybe myBlogis part therapeutic for me in that way.On my way back from vacation I stopped at a friend's house inArizonato say hello to himand his wifeand take a little break from the tedious drive.I was with my sonand grandson.My grandson was getting over the fluand I didn't want them to get affected from him so he stayed in the car.My son went inside the couple's home with meand we began to talk.I introduced my son to the couple stating that;"He is my oldest living friend. He has seen me at my worst and at my very best."Which I was hoping came across as,this person has been my friend throughThick Or Thin.I have known this person for over48 Years.Then,out of nowhere,he starts in on me about how I committedFraudusing his name thirty years ago!In front of my son.Of course I denied the accusationsand wondered where this was coming from.If you have a beef with me why wait thirty years to confront me?The worst part,why do it in front of my son trying to make me look like a jerk.No matter what I said I could tell by his self righteous attitude,the condescending looks he was giving me,and the sarcasm in his words,that he believed I was the culprit behind the fraud.First,I would never do that to any friend,and second,I don't think like a criminal so I wouldn't even know how to commit that kind of fraud.So we left.My family is the most important dynamics in my life.I brought up all my kids to be honest,good people.I am proud to say I have succeeded in that area.I never have to worry that the police will come calling accusing one of my kids of criminal activity.So, adios to my one time friend.This is,Asking What Would You Do?Jim Hauenstein,
And,

“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.”
- Elbert Hubbard -



That is my story and I am sticking to it!
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It Hit Me Like A Ton Of Bricks

It has beenTen Long Grueling Dayssince I lastedPosted.I see I have someNew CommentsandNew Commentatorswhile I been out.I always welcome constructiveCommentsabout what I write. I'll have to get to those on another dayor you can look for them yourself at the end of aPost.What happened to me?First,I had a great fifteen days of vacation visiting two of my daughtersand four of my grandchildren.The plan all along was to leave late onFriday, January 4thand get home earlySunday, January 6th.But,and there is always aButtin this scenario, it rained everyday inSan Antoniothe last week I was thereand two of my grandchildren were sick with the flu during that period.I knew it would not be long until I got sick.So,instead of taking the three daysand two nights to drive back toCalifornia.I,my youngest son,and one of my grandchildren were in the car forTwenty Hours Straightuntil we made it home.We took breaks of coursebut we pushed it.We got homeSaturday Night!I was exhausted.I woke upSundayfeeling pretty goodbut onMonday Morningthe flu hit me like a ton of bricks.Getting theFlu Shotdoes not mean you will not catch the flu.It is supposed to combat the severity of Influenza Virus,that is all.

This is,The First Day I Feel Healthy Even To Post,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush......unless the bird has the flu!”
- Ankala Subbarao -


That is my story and I am sticking to it!
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I Know - The Music Video

A brandNew Year,so why not bring on a brandNew Songfrom that famous rock groupTwoBuckHowie With The Exact Change!The song is calledI Knowand you might have noticed the lyrics have beenPostedas a poem,under the headingPoetryever sinceDecember 12th, 2018.I want to thankDave,Todd,Kelly,andJack,and all the other players who cameand went,for being in the band. I will always be in indebted for theirFriendshipand theirMusicianship.I would also like to thankScottandJefffor helping us outand believing in us.And yes,it is youJeff P!
This is,Is It Time To Do A ReunionAnd Play At All The Indian Casinos?Maybe When They Can Cure My Arthritis In My Fingers! Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“Nothing the Rolling Stones ever did was more important than the respect they showed to the music that had inspired them.”
- Stephen Davis -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
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The Thug Life

Okay,we have all been there.We have all in our lifetime have wanted to"Stick It To The Man!"Get away with some kind of act of defiance.Do some kind of open resistance to aGovernment Mandate,without any repercussion.A bold disobedience to the norm so we can say we did not act like every conformist in the world.I do not condoneor will ever condone violence as a way defiance.In my life I have protested injustices in my own way.I still do,and a lot of what I believe will show up on thisBlogonce in awhile.Some of you will have held up protest signs to advocate your point of view for the public to see.Maybe some of you have marched on the capitol of your particular country to show officials how you feel.Still some of you may have written books,poetry,short stories,or music to get people on the bandwagon of protesting.But over the years,getting older takes away from the radicalism youth invokes.People have a taste for radicalism while still in schoolor right after they leave school.Others will get that midlife crises in their thirtiesand act a little crazy hoping to bring back that zest of youth.But there is one act of disobedience that people feel they have to do timeand time again in their lives to retain that feeling of radicalism that was so much fun in their youth.But,the sad part is,it has nothing to do with them.What am I talking about?Ripping off the"Do Not Remove Under Penalty Of Law"tags on the end of your mattressand pillows.What most people do not realize is that the tag is placed there for all the retailers to see who are selling those itemsand are put on there by the manufacturers.It is on there so you,the consumer,can understand what you are buying.This is,I Don't CareI Am Still Going To Rip Those Tags Off So I Feel Part Of The Thug Life,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
"Protesting is never a "Disturbance of the Peace." Corruption, injustice, prejudice, war, and intimidation are disturbances of the peace!"- Bryant McGill -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
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