James Hauenstein's Blog, page 118

I Hope I At Least Made You Laugh

Kids,you have to love them right?Well,my granddaughter,who will remain nameless,but lives in theState Of New York,on her last visit asked me if I wanted a peanut-butter,jelly,and graham cracker sandwich?"Grandpa, I made it myself."She is only 3 years old,so I thought,how cute,and popped it in my mouth."Grandpa, do you want to know how I made it?"That is when I hesitated,but said,"Maybe?""First, I got out two crackers."So far so good."Then I got out some peanuts from out of their shells."Wait a second."Then I got some raisins out of the box.""OK?"I said."Then I chewed the peanuts until they were soft and put it on one cracker. Chewed the raisins until they were soft and put them on the other cracker and gave it to you."I was just about to regurgitate the little sandwich I had just eaten,when she asked with the biggest smile on her face,"Do you want another one?"
What do you call a fifty year old bachelor? Old!
I never wanted to be that fifty year old bachelor, so I did what all good Christian Men do.I surrendered to the first women who would put up with me and got married!
Yo mama is so dumb, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
This is,Had To Take My Car In For Repairs So I Did Not Have Time To Prepare A Story For Today,So I Hope I At Least Made You Laugh,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“I went for a walk last night and my girlfriend asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, 'The whole time.”- Steven Wright -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you are reading,or do not like what you see.Set up my Blog as your Homepage,or sign up as a Follower,or leave a Comment,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.
Gary Johnson says he has made the ballot in all fifty states and in D.C.  By David Sherfinski - The Washington Times - Wednesday, September 14, 2016
You don't like Donald Trump or Hillery Clinton?
Try something new.
Vote for the Libertarian Party!
Or not.

Continuing The Story From Yesterday

Graffiti Designs & Styles: Tagging, Bombing and Painting
Article by Delana for Web Urbanist.com

Tag
"Tagging is the simplest type of graffiti, consisting of the writer’s street name in one color. Tags are basically the graffiti writer’s signature; if they’re associated with a crew, they might also contain the crew’s name or initials. Tags can be seen everywhere and are done in spray paint, markers or pens. If a tag is put up over another writer’s tag or piece, it’s extremely disrespectful."

Throw-Up"A throw-up is a little more complicated than a tag, usually having two or three colors, but not nearly as elaborate as a piece. A throw-up is something that can be done quickly and repeatedly, while still identifying the writer. They’re usually done in bubble letters, often in one color with a differently-colored outline. When a graffiti writer goes out bombing, they’re usually either putting up tags or throw-ups all over their area."
Stencil"Using stencils is a quick and effective way to put up somewhat-complicated pieces very quickly. By holding the stencil against the wall and spraying, you can get a much more detailed picture than you would be able to with just a spray can. Even if you use two or three layers to make a more colorful and intricate picture, stencil graffiti can be thrown up in a matter of minutes. This is the type of graffiti that was made popular by the likes of Blek le Rat and Banksy and has now taken hold with graffiti writers everywhere."

Stickers (Slaps)"Stickers are a quick and easy (some say lazy) way to throw up a tag quickly. Graffiti writers used to use the “Hi, My Name Is” name tag stickers, but these days it’s also common to see them on the free address labels you can get from the Post Office. It’s just as likely to see elaborate, professional-looking printed stickers with a message or image plastered all over. Graffiti artists like stickers because  they can take their time on the art in private, then quickly slap them up wherever."
Wildstyle"Wildstyle is a particular style of writing that was developed and popularized by graffiti artists like Tracy 168, Stay High 149 and Zephyr in New York City. It’s a complicated and extremely stylized form of writing that, to the untrained eye, is not easy to read. Wildstyle writing features arrows, spikes, curves and other elements that non-graffiti artists may have a hard time understanding. Wildstyle pieces are often 3D and considered to be one of the most complicated forms of graffiti."
Piece"A piece (short for masterpiece) is a graffiti painting, much more complex than a tag and having at least three colors. Pieces are hard to do illegally because of the time and effort involved, so a good piece will gain a lot of respect for that particular graffiti artist. As graffiti has gotten more respect as a legitimate art form, a lot of pieces have been commissioned – or at least the artists given permission to put them up."
Blockbuster"A blockbuster is used to cover maximum area in a minimal amount of time. Often consisting of large block letters, the blockbuster can be accomplished with paint rollers and two or three colors of paint. Usually a blockbuster is put up to cover up other work or block other writers from putting anything up on the same area."
Heaven"A heaven is a piece that’s put up in a very hard-to-reach location, often near or on the tops of tall buildings or on freeway signs. Because they’re so dangerous and difficult to reach, graffiti artists who manage to get a piece up in such a spot will usually gain some added respect from their peers."

This is,Continuing The Story From Yesterday,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.”  - Pablo Picasso -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you are reading,or do not like what you see.Set up my Blog as your Homepage,or sign up as a Follower,or leave a Comment,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.

It Is Art & A Message For Future Generations

OnSeptember 9th, 2015,I wrote a Post;History Lostwhere I said we are losing valuable information about our past by usingSocial Mediainstead of writing letters withPen & Paper.Researchers have used these written letters,throughout the ages,to get insight into some ofWorld's Most Historical Events.And I used evidence from someone who was born in 480 B.C."If Hellanicus did not write down that the Persian Queen Atossa wrote the first letter, how would we know?"
I also believe,we are destroying valuableHistory,forFuture Generations when we destroyor eraseGraffiti!The History Booksare written by theElite,to tell theElitist's Story.Who want theirGeneration Knownfor what they believe it stood for.It is not until you hear the words of theGeneral Populationwho worked in the trenches,like thePoor & Middle Class,who really built thoseGreat Societiesfor theElite,do you truly understand whatHistorically Happened.Graffiti Is Art.AnExpressionfrom theYouthof our day.I agree,some of their platforms should not have beenTagged.So we need to find areas in our landscape so they can beTag,Bomb,andPainted.So futureResearchersknow what it was like,in our time, to live in thoseTrenches,not thePenthouses.Here is an example ofGraffitiwhere you only here about theRulers,theFamous,and theRich. Sure,they are starting to find small tablets at some dig sites where theCommon Individuals andSlaveswrote letters on stone to each other.But until recently,we would have only understood the lives of theEliteinEgypt.That wasand isGraffiti.Without it,we would have known nothing of theEgyptian Empireexcept that it existed.And how about the
Tagging
on
Cave Walls,
before there were any
Elitists. They weren't complaining about defacing aCave Wall.They were tellingFuture Generationsthat;"We were here. This is what we did!"If we didn't have,what I believe was a decree on behalf ofKing Ptolemy V,to show how the threeSocietiescan work together so they can benefit from trading
Goods & Services
between each other,we would never have figured out how to readEgyptian Hieroglyphics. The Rosetta Stone.These are all examples,
if done in today's
Society,
what we would call
Graffiti.Maybe in
Antiquity,they would call it,Writing Down Information!
This is,I Believe Tagging Does Have A Place In Our History,But Don't Get Me Started On Those Who Scratch Into MirrorsAnd Especially Toilet Seats.Now That Is Not Art,Jim Hauenstein,
And,

“My students tag tables, walls, and chairs because their greatest fear is that no one will ever remember them. They do not believe they can give impassioned speeches, rally people in protest, paint masterpieces. They think they will die, small and forgotten, and it dictates their every action.” - Thomm Quackenbush -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you are reading,or do not like what you see.Set up my Blog as your Homepage,or sign up as a Follower,or leave a Comment,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.

Answering Those Questions That You Never Knew You Wanted To Ask - II

 Fight Drones With Eagles
Dutch Police Use Eagles To Fight Illegal Drones
by BBC News.com
"Dutch Police are employing Eagles to take down illegal drones following successful trials. The force has become the first in the world to recruit birds to tackle the increasing number of drones invading the Dutch skies. It's a low-tech solution to a hi-tech problem, police spokesman Dennis Janus said.
Despite concerns raised by animal rights group, the police say the birds are not in any danger.
A number of tests have been conducted since January and police seem confident about the program.
The eagles will now be deployed whenever drones are believed to be posing a threat to the public or flying close to airports or sensitive areas. The eagles see the drones as prey and intercept them as they are flying, before landing where they feel safe with the drone still in their claws, Mr Janus told AFP.
About 100 officers will be trained to work with the eagles. After successful trials, Dutch police bought four sea eagle chicks. They are now five months old. As the police wait for their birds to mature, they will be using eagles supplied by a specialist company, Guard From Above. The Dutch "flying squad" is expected to to be active next summer."
I like it.I wonder if it would be legal for me to train, let us say aHawkto take down drones?I have this oneDrone,with two cameras,pointing my way every morning,sitting outside my bedroom window,watching me while I get dress.I feel soViolated,but love theVoyeurismat my age!

This next question you askedand didn't know it,
is a serious one indeed.Californianot only has to worry aboutIllegal Immigrants,now we have to worry aboutTrimmigrants!
In secretive marijuana industry, whispers of abuse and trafficking.by Shoshana Walter for Reveal - The Center for Investigative Reporting.com "In the Emerald Triangle, trees are ever present. They peek over small towns and dip into valleys, sheathing this cluster of remote Northern California counties in silence. For decades, the ancient forests here have provided cover for the nation’s largest marijuana-growing industry, shielding pot farmers from convention, outsiders and law enforcement. But the forests also hide secrets, among them young women with stories of sexual abuse and exploitation. Some have spoken out; a handful have pressed charges. Most have confided only in private. Students from the nearest college, Humboldt State University, return from a summer of trimming marijuana buds with tales of being forced to give their boss a blow job to get paid. Other “trimmigrants,” who typically work during the June-to-November harvest, recount offers of higher wages to trim topless. During one harvest season, two growers began having sex with their teenage trimmer. When they feared she would run away, they locked her inside an oversized toolbox with breathing holes. Contact with law enforcement is rare and, female trimmigrants say, rarely satisfying. Verifying their stories is as difficult as finding your way through the forest at night, down twisty dirt roads, to one of the backwoods marijuana farms. During months of reporting in the region, Reveal from The Center for Investigative Reporting unearthed dozens of accounts of sexual exploitation, abuse and trafficking. Victims’ advocates say the problem is far larger and, with every harvest, continues to grow. Women believe they are getting hired for trimming work, and then they’re drugged and raped, said Maryann Hayes Mariani, a coordinator for the North Coast Rape Crisis Team. Everybody looks at (the region) like it’s the Land of Oz. I’m just so tired of pretending like it’s not happening here. Yet law enforcement repeatedly has failed to investigate abuse and sexual violence in the industry. Instead, officers mostly focus on what they view as the root cause of the problem: the drug trade. In the rural counties of Northern California, marijuana is still a largely underground industry, worth billions. Last year, legal California sales alone were valued at $2.7 billion, according to The ArcView Group, a marijuana market research firm. Sales are projected to balloon to $6.4 billion by 2020 if marijuana is legalized for recreational use. It’s big business, drawing busloads of job seekers."
It is a job opportunity for a lot of people,where there is a lot of money to be made,but once again,Some Men Prove,not all mind you,but some men are so sick in theHead,they don't deserve a Verpa!(That is Latin for you know what.)

This is,Using My Translator To Write The Word Penis In Latin,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“The illegality of cannabis is outrageous, an impediment to full utilization of a drug which helps produce the serenity and insight, sensitivity and fellowship so desperately needed in this increasingly mad and dangerous world.” - Carl Sagan -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you are reading,or do not like what you see.Set up my Blog as your Homepage,or sign up as a Follower,or leave a Comment,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.

My Youngest Was Only Two Years Old

Today isSeptember 11th, 2016.By now you have heard that it has been15 Yearssince the attacks,byAl-Qaedaupon theUnited States,were carried out. There have beenMemorialsall day long for theVictims Of 9/11and their families. Me,personally,I do not know a soul who perished that day,but itDid,Does,and I imagineAlways Willbring out thePatriotin me.Since no one left anyCommentsto any of myPosts  this week,where I have toTie Up Loose Ends, I would like toHonorthoseMen & Women.I know you don't come to myBlogfor my political views,but please forgive meand give me this one day,toHonorthem in this way.
This is,Thinking That My Youngest Child Was Only Two Years Old When 9/11 Happened,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“Well I won't back down
No I won't back down
You can stand me up at the gates of hell
But I won't back down” - Tom Petty, -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you are reading, or do not like what you see. Set up my Blog as your Homepage, or sign up as a Follower, or leave a Comment, and I will answer answer you in a Post.
 Thanks for reading.


 Remember my PostThe Green Bay Packers Are Going To The Super Bowl? Today's Score Final   Green Bay Packers               27 - 23               Jacksonville Jaguars


You betcha I'm going to remind you non-believers each week!
 P.S. It is Sunday and Sunday is my designated day toTie Up Loose Ends!

The Refrigerator Hacker

   "Turn around and spread you legs." Says Detective Callaghan.
   "But I came here to see you." An exasperated Billy Squire says. "I'm here to show you these pictures I have of severed heads inside a refrigerator!"
   "Billy, I have personally arrested you, myself, three times in the past four years for hacking the computers in your High School, the local chapter of the Girl Scouts, and the White Pages." Detective Callaghan says with a sarcastic smile on his face. "Hacking your High School I can understand, if you wanted to change your grades. Not you. You gave everyone A's across the board, except yourself. Hacking the local Girl Scout computers I could see if you were trying to find an address of a girl. But not you. You covered up the identities of all the transgenders who were being harassed by some local idiots. Now the White Pages? That has me completely stumped. It cost your Parents ten thousand dollars in fines and you had spend time in juvey detention, for what, six months?"
   "Detective, so you know my past transgression. So what. This is important and I wouldn't risk coming here if it wasn't."
   Callaghan looks sharply at Billy and explains, "You come in here, freely admitting to hacking Judge Penny Preston's cellphone, telling me she has one of these new refrigerators where you can see photos of what's inside the refrigerator, on your cellphone, while your are shopping, and then claim you saw three severed heads inside the Judge's frig?'
   "By George, I've think you've got it!" Exclaims an over excited Billy.
   "Turn around, spread your legs, and put your hands behind your back." Says the Detective sternly.
   "Are you going to arrest me?"
   "No. First we are going to take a ride to Judge Preston's house, tell her what you saw, ask her if she wants to press charges for you being a liar and a hacker. If not, I'm turning you over to the Feds to see if they can't come up with a few penal codes of their own, since you have hacked a Federal Judge's cellphone, falsely accused her of a crime, and just for being an all-around douche-bag!"

   "Detective Callaghan, isn't it? With a handcuffed prisoner I see." Penny Preston says after opening her front door. "What do I owe this strange intrusion to my Saturday morning?"
   "Sorry Judge. Instead of going through tons of paperwork, asking for a warrant to search the premises, and by which I'll be embarrassing myself and potentially dragging your name in the local newspapers, can we come in? Then I'll explain the whole situation to you."
   With a confused look on her face, Judge Penny Preston asks, "Is your prisoner dangerous?"
   "Not at all." Says Callaghan. "He is a hacker and he is accusing you of a crime."
   "Oh, so you are the little cracker who hacked my phone. You're not a very good one are you? You've left your hacker prints all over my phone. I actually had to get a new one this morning because of you."
   Billy didn't like the way that sounded. He knows he not in league with the likes of Anonymous. The famous global hacking organization which exposed the names of all the Klu Klux Klan members a few years back, but he is good enough not to leave a trail on a cellphone.
   "Detective, she is lying. We need to get out of here."
   Callaghan slaps Billy in the back of the head and warns, "If you say one more word, they will find your body in the local dump a few months from now."
   "Now Detective," says Judge Preston. "We do not want to infringe upon Mister Squire's civil rights now, do we?"
   "Sorry Judge. It's just so outlandish what he is accusing you of, that he is really pissing me off."
   "OK Detective. Why don't the two of you come in and explain it all to me."
   The two individuals walk inside, are led to a living room area, and told to be seated.
   After a moment of silence Callaghan tells the story to Judge Preston, the way he was told by Billy Squire.

   "Detective. I am shock and appalled that you would even bring this obvious degenerate to my home. First, I would like you to handcuff Mister Squire to the arm post of my oak couch over there. I'm sure he is not strong enough to break through that while I show you my refrigerator."
   Callaghan does as he is told and followers the Judge down a hallway which leads to her kitchen.
   Billy sits there, alone, wondering what the hell did he get himself into? "What was I thinking?" He says softly out loud.
   At that very moment, he hears a clanging sound, like a frying pan hit something, then a thump, as if someone has just crumbled to the floor.
   Billy almost pees in his pants when he hears, "Look Mom, Dad, and brother Tom. We have a new guest coming into the refrigerator. And I know how you all like company. So I will be right back to bring you one more new friend of ours."



This is,Writing All The Scary Stories I Can For The Up Coming Halloween Season,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door —
Only this, and nothing more."- Edgar Allan Poe -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you are reading,or do not like what you see.Set up my Blog as your Homepage,or sign up as a Follower,or leave a Comment,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.
I believe,Halloween is my favorite Holidayto write stories for.


"Forget the 'five-second rule': Food dropped on the floor picks up bacteria in just ONE second!"
by "Debunking the rule as an urban myth, Donald Schaffner, a professor in food science at Rutgers University in New Jersey, insisted: ‘The ‘five-second rule’ is a significant oversimplification of what actually happens when bacteria transfers from a surface to food. Bacteria can contaminate instantaneously.’ The study found that the amount of moisture present, the type of surface, and how long the food is actually on the floor all contribute to cross-contamination."

 Now that is some bad news.Wait,I found a cookie on the floor.Chocolate chip too!Ah,If someone sees me,I'll just say it's theOne Second Rule!

I Can Bare The Bite Of Cold When We Are Together

I do not know why,but I really loved that moment when I felt warm with her.What I mean is,
there was a time,
when the temperature outside was freezing coldand I had the thermostat in our house turned down because last month's heating bill skyrocketed to the point to where we couldn't pay it.There was a chill throughout our bodies,
that we couldn't escape.But I saw salvation.It was time to go to sleep,and now I could cuddle up inside,
three blankets which covered our bed.Ah!
It felt so good. Then myLoving Wifehops in next to me.The person who has been wearing a parka,mittens,and snow boots all day inside our home while holding onto a hot cup of cocoa. After taking off only here coat,gloves,socks,and boots,she purposely raps her bitter cold toes around mine.Again bringing that chillUp & Downmy whole body.Still,I pull her close.Even after her frosty hands hug me in places I think will never be warm again.But like theWinter Seasonitself,it will all soon end with the 
Sunshine
from theSpringwhich brings back the warmth,
into her,
mySweetheart's Bodyand into mine.It's theSpringtime Warmthof holding one anotherclosely.
Under a pile of blankets.With my mouth slightly opened,
a warm breath is tossed her way,to the top of her hair,as I watch her sleep.I can see in my breath,a faint mist rise above us,
as I begin to dose off myself.Then finally,after fighting the bitter cold for so long together,we are both warm again inside our
Souls,
our 
Hearts,
and our
Bodies.
It is
Love.
Just by holding one another. Then,out of nowhere,all happiness is shattered,
when that dreaded sound goes off,
and it is ringing in my ears!
It's the
Alarm Clock!
Telling me it is time to get ready for work.
I'll have to leave her alone now,to hop in a frigid shower.
Once again,
I am cold.
This is,Remembering Moments Of Love,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home.” - Edith Sitwell -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you are reading,or do not like what you see.Set up my Blog as your Homepage,or sign up as a Follower,or leave a Comment,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.

Songs From My Morning Walk

After drawin' out all his hard-earned cash
And now MacHeath spends just like a sailor
Could it be our boy's done somethin' rash?
 - Mack the Knife - Bobby Darin

One thing consists of consistence
And it's that we're all battling fear
 - Car Radio - Twenty One Pilots

You're my consciousness
I can't get no sleep
You're my consciousness
Your kiss is so sweet
You're my consciousness
Erogenous
You're my reality now
 - Original Sin - TwoBuckHowie with the Exact Change

Well somebody told me you had a boyfriend
Who looked like a girlfriend
That I had in February of last year
It's not confidential, I've got potential 
- Somebody Told Me - The Killers

In time or so I'm told
I'm just another soul for sale, oh well
The page is out of print, we are not permanent
We're temporary, temporary
Same old story 
- The Pretender - Foo Fighters

Machine gun screams
rat-a-tat-tat
That's what it's all about
Everyone scream and shout
 - El Salvador - TwoBuckHowie with the Exact Change

One of these mornings, you're goin' to rise up singin'
Then you spread your wings and you'll take the sky
But 'til that mornin', there's nothin' can harm you
With daddy and mammy standin' by 
- Summertime - Billie Holiday

When I wake up, yeah I know Im gonna be,
I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you
When I go out yeah I know Im gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you
And If I get drunk, yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you
And if I haver whatever that means
I'm gonna be the man who's havering to you 
- I Would Walk 500 Miles - The Proclaimers

You're like a drug to me
A luxury
My sugar and gold 
- Handclap - Fitz and the Tantrums
  
I know you're evil and wicked inside
I thought I could live with it and swallow my pride
- Don't Take the Children - TwoBuckHowie with the Exact Change


This is,Listening To These Songs While I Was On My Walk This Morning,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“If music be the food of love, play on, Give me excess of it; that surfeiting, The appetite may sicken, and so die.” - William Shakespeare, -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you are reading,or do not like what you see.Set up my Blog as your Homepage,or sign up as a Follower,or leave a Comment,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.

Believing America Is Still Great No Matter What The Propaganda Hype Is Right Now

SomePeoplejust piss me off!
How do I report someone who is not filing tax returns?
"If you believe that someone is violating federal tax laws, the best way to report to the IRS is by filling out a 3949-A form. Fill out and print the form and mail it to the Internal Revenue Service Center, Fresno, CA 93888. Another way to report IRS fraud is to call the IRS at 1-800-829-1040 for the Criminal Investigation Hotline in your area. Failure to file tax returns is a form of tax evasion. Tax evasion amounts to using illegal means to avoid paying owed taxes, and is a federal crime. You may also want to report an individual or business for tax fraud. Tax fraud can consist of a variety of different activities designed to reduce or eliminate taxes owed by an individual or business. Examples of tax fraud include under-reporting income, keeping two sets of books, claiming personal expenses as business expenses, claiming other false deductions, or hiding or transferring assets or income. You may also use the form 3949-A to report IRS tax fraud, just print and fill out the form and mail it to the Internal Revenue Service Center, Fresno, CA 93888. The form 3939-A requests a significant amount of information pertaining to the individual you are reporting. Among other things, you will need to provide the name and address of the tax payer. You should also be prepared to submit any documents that you have that will substantiate your claims, or you must indicate that you don't have access to any documentation. Significantly, while you may provide your name and address, it is not required that you identify yourself. Therefore, the form 3939-A may be used to report tax fraud or evasion anonymously."

There,I got it off my chest.My obvious attempt at warning someone.And thatPerson,who is doing theTax Evasionknows who he is!Well,of course he knows who he is,but I also know who he is,and what despicable things you have done with your money!So there!Whinny Bitch. And don't think I won't use this website either.Bragging that you are aVeteranand how you wantAmericato be great again.  But you aren't evenPatrioticenough to pay your ownTaxes.One little phone call by me.That is all it takes.
This is,Believing America Is Still Great No Matter What The Propaganda Hype Is Right Now,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
 
“Freedom is more than just a patriotic concept; it is the purest intent of our design. Be you. Be free. Be nice.” - Steve Maraboli -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you are reading,or do not like what you see.Set up my Blog as your Homepage,or sign up as a Follower,or leave a Comment,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading. 

Some Institutions Will Let You Write Things Down On Paper With A Crayon

I went to my Doctor today,and she said,"If you don't want to loose your job, lose your family, and live a normal life, quite with the Frigga-trisk-aide-kaphobia!"
Stunned,I said,"Doc! You don't have to be vulgar about it."You see,she was born in the Philippines so sometimes,her pronunciation of certain medical terminology iselongated."Jim. Why did you come in here to see me today?" She asked with a lot of frustration."Well Doc. It only happened once in 2016."I was trying to act cool about it.Like,what I did was normal."Back in May, I was drying off from my morning shower, when I heard on the radio the most frightening four words I have ever heard."Interrrupting,she says,"I really think you need a Psychologists."My eyes widened.I was stunned."No, please Doc."I started pleading.With as much earnest appeal as I could muster,I told her,"I trust you Doc. Just hear me out."My Doctor pauses for a minute,looks me clearly in the eyesand asks,"Are you all paid up with all of your bills?"I replied,"Of course I am."I lied."OK Jim. You can go ahead."So I tell her in detail,how I ran screaming from my house,butt naked,running past all the children waiting for a school bus.Luckily for the children,unluckily for me,a motorcycle cop was driving by at that very moment.Without going into too much detail,after a night in jail,I woke up normal.I was released on a bondand told to appear in court on such and such day!"What is wrong with me Doc?"With all the fake sympathy she could muster up herself,my Doc tells me,"You have a form of Trisk-aide-kaphobia!"I asked.
"What?" Not looking very intelligent at that very moment."You have Para-skevide-katria-phobia!"
I repeated.
"What?" "You are afraid of FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH!"She yelled."That's it?"I asked."I can beat that little phobia."With a little smirk on her face,my Doctor tells me,"Jim. Your court date of January 13th, 2017? It's on a Friday!"With that,I run out of her office,screaming all the way down the street,ripping all my clothes off.I was sure the last thing I heard,before leaving her office was,"Call 911. There is a nut running around outside with no clothes on!"

This is,Did Know That Some Institutions Will Let You Write Things Down On Paper With A Crayon, Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.” - Groucho Marx -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
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P.S. The four frightening words I ever heard in my life are; "It's Friday the Thirteenth."