James Hauenstein's Blog, page 103

Tic Toc Toc

I open the interrogation room door, enter a square box chamber, and take a seat in front of the accused. My new client, Jonathan Price.Placing my briefcase on the right side of the metal table that separates us, I jump right in, questioning the former Sheriff.“Hello Jonathan, I'm Burt Honnygut, your appointed lawyer. Why don't you tell me what happened that day. The day you were arrested and accused of two counts of manslaughter.”“Well,” he starts out shakily, “If you recall, that morning we had one of the worst storms ever recorded. I believe it was last Tuesday. Yes. Yes that was it.”“As per my M.O. I was the first one in for the morning shift. The night Dispatcher asked if I would take a drive to the old Windsor Hospital. He said there were three frantic phone calls by a Mrs. Gonzalez about her husband and son not returning home from work, Monday evening. She informed the Dispatcher that they took care of the grounds around the place and any other maintenance that needed to be done. But not once, of over ten years of working there, did they ever have to stay overnight. For any reason.”Interrupting, I remind Johnathan that a missing person call is not taken seriously until forty eight hours is up.Sarcastically, he states that he knows his job and so does the Dispatcher.He says flatly, “Mrs. Gonzalez was very convincing in her conviction that it wasn't a missing person call but that something terrible has happened to her family!”Interrupting a second time I ask Jonathan to explain only his involvement in the deaths of Mr. Pedro Gonzalez and his son, Enrique?“Then shut up and listen!” He barks back at me. Obviously agitated.I start taking notes at this point, with side notations of what I observe about Mister Price's demeanor. He is delusional, paranoid, aggressive behavior.In parentheses I also write; trying to recite a preconceived story? - Maybe to cover up mistakes? - Maybe rehearsing his story?He continues, surprisingly calm now.“On my way up to the Windsor place, I was thinking about what questions I might ask Mrs. Gonzalez if I didn't find anything or anyone up there.”“Questions like. What is the name of the person who hired your husband and son? Does their employer ever ask them to work at any other location? Do they have a cell phone? In case their vehicle broke down and they're stranded along Highway 52 somewhere.”“Do you know where the old Windsor Hospital is located Mister Honnygut?” He asks me.“Sure.” Is all I say to him.“It's a Historical Landmark now. Ever since those State Politicians in Saint Paul declared that any building, a hundred-fifty years or older, which is still standing without the need of state funds, a landmark.”“But only if private funding can be brought in for the upkeep. So who is paying these guys?”He is thinking about something. Smiling. I think he believes he will be leaving here shortly.“I guess I'll have to ask Mrs. Gonzalez who hired her husband and son when I get out of here.”He pauses again. I assume to see what I will say. I say nothing.He notices my silence.“Well the storm was really raging by the time I got to the Windsor place. With all that water, lightning, and thunder going off, it’s a wonder that the old cobble stone front driveway wasn't washed out?”He has a look of wonderment to him. Maybe, a bit of confusion.He asks me, “Where you awake about eight thirty Tuesday morning? You know, during the big storm?”I don't answer him. Thinking he is more or less trying to stall by having me join in on a casual conversation for some reason.Also, I don't want to agitate him again by stopping his recollection of events.He goes on by saying, “I drove directly to the front of the building with my headlights on. I had to. There was complete darkness surrounding that building. I figured it was the dense trees enclosing in on the place and those black clouds which hung really low in the sky that morning. Those factors alone must have been keeping the sanatorium in the gloomy state it was in. Even though it was the early morning, it still had the sense of the witching hour to it.”He looks confused, then adds, “The time of day was about eight fifteen a.m. Why so dark?”More silence. I imagine to sort out, in his mind, the question of why it was still dark during the day.“You know, the funny thing about arriving at the Hospital? The sudden serenity I felt. I remember thinking how inviting the place was with its front door wide open. Like I was supposed to be there. I felt like it was asking me to come in!”The ex-sheriff starts laughing hysterically.Somehow, after a few moments, he is able to choke out a few words.“I guess... I guess I do sound mad!”He is again laughing. It seems, uncontrollably.Stopping suddenly, he blankly stares at me. There is a moment of eerie silence between us so I ask him to continue.“After calling in to let the morning Dispatcher know that I had arrived at the old infirmary, I jump out of the patrol car, flashlight in hand, and entered the building. Calling out, there was nothing but silence and darkness.”I write in my notes; finally - going to explain to me what happened - all the rest of this stuff - worthless at his hearing! Underlining several times; unless we go with the insanity plea!I listen with renewed interest to each word he says, when he begins with, “That's when I took my gun out.”He is serious now. He continues.“I slowly worked my way towards the center of the building. About half way in, I get this feeling of impending danger. The emotion was so strong inside of me that I sensed the hairs on the back of my neck standing up!”“I know they were because I reached back with my right hand to see if I was imagining it!”“I wasn't.”Notes; showing signs of anxiety again - during this recall of events - has a troubled look to him - his mind seems to be reeling reliving the events.He continues, “I walked in a little further. And I start hearing this sweet little voice singing a beautiful melody.”“It's a girl's voice. A child's voice.”“Repeating, over and over again, this beautiful Nursery Rhyme.”“That was my first clue that someone dangerous could still be in the building.”“I felt my way in the dark, towards the sound. It led me to a set of closed double doors. The kind you see as an entrance way to a school gym or maybe one of those Town Halls you see in the movies all the time.”“So I went in.”For some reason he stops talking again at this point. Staring blankly. I need him to continue.“Johnathan, can you please stop stalling and tell me what happened after you opened the double doors?”Notes; he is losing concentration - bursts of laughter – must have the court call for a psychiatric evaluation.“Turns out I was right, it was a large hall. A dining hall. About three stories high and spanning the full length of the north side of the building. The outside wall, facing north, was built with stained glass windows from the floor to the ceiling.”“The glass itself depicted mythological creatures and the famous battles they were involved in. When the lightning flashed outside you could see their battles in motion upon the glass. When the thunder struck, it gave their armaments sound. Like they were clashing against the weapons of their foes!”Notes; delusional - extremely out of touch with reality - Hero Envy?“Dining room tables were set up all along the floor. With white table cloths, fine china, silverware, crystal champagne glasses, and a candelabra placed in the middle of each, with three burning candles!”“One bright flash of lightning gave me the real prospective of how enormous the hall was and all the dining arraignments that filled it!”“The whole time I'm in there, the only sound I can hear besides the thunder, is that sweet little girl's voice repeating her wonderful rhyme.”“Even with all that candlelight burning, the darkness engulfed most of the room like a veil. Not until one of the longest, brightest lightning bolts I have ever witnessed in my life, did I finally locate the child. She was swinging on an oversize swing in the middle of the hall where normally a chandelier might be hanging.”“Once I saw her, I could finally make out, with clarity, the gorgeous words she was singing!”“Tic Toc Toc, Goes the Grandfather Clock. The Clock Which Tells the Crazies When to Chop. Hack Hack Hack Goes The Craziness. Though They Will Keep Killing, If They Do Keep Hearing, That Crazy Clock Go, Tic Toc Toc, Tic Toc Toc!”“At that very second, something starts moving to my right. To me, it looked like a young man on all fours, his back hunched in a way that is just too hard to describe right now, but moving my way with increasing speed! I asked him to halt but he keeps on coming, sideways, like a crab, on all fours! Within twenty feet of me, I fire three slugs into it with my gun.”“I didn't have time to think about what had just happened because in the far left corner this other creature, ape like in physique, legs slightly bent to the sides and arms waving back and forth above its head, comes running at me incredibly fast! Knocking over tables and chairs, out of its way! It came at me so fast that I had to empty my remaining six shots into it. Five in the chest, the last one, in its forehead before it would go down!”“I couldn't be sure if anything else would be coming at me from inside the dining room so I look down for a couple of seconds to get out another clip. The whole time I can hear that child sing her enchanting lullaby!”“Reloaded I look up.”“Just a few feet in front of me, coming at me, is that little girl flying through the air with her legs and arms pointing straight at me. Her nails on all four limbs, are sharpened to a point!”“It doesn't scare me though, because.....well.....because she had the biggest grin on her face. A grin that shouldn't have been able to fit on her pretty little head!”Jonathan stops talking at this point. So I sit up, forward in my chair, look at the former sheriff in his eyes and think for a moment. I'm trying to think of what to say to a man whose legs are shackled and chained to the floor. Who is wearing a straitjacket, also chained to that floor, and finally say angrily, “Sir, no other officer saw any stained glass windows, dining room tables, candelabras, or even a swing! All anyone saw were two dead maintenance slash ground keepers in a pool of their own blood. No other victims. No little girl. Nothing. Just you and two dead bodies.”After my little tirade, there is nothing but silence between us.I lean back in my chair and close my eyes to formulate a plan. How am I going to proceed with this insanity plea for my client?I'm tired, sure. I'm exasperated. I'm fed up by the sheer bull he is laying out as the truth.I'm just going to sit here with my eyes closed and drain my mind of all thought and relax.Relax.What?That can't be.No. I can hear it.Am I being hypnotically influenced?No way.Yet, I can hear her!Don't open your eyes Burt or you might lose the moment. It is really beautiful.I can hear her! I can hear her!I can hear the sweetness of her angelic little voice!Tic Toc Toc, Goes The Grandfather Clock. The Clock Which Tells the Crazies When to Chop. Hack Hack Hack Goes The Craziness. Though They Will Keep Killing, If They Do Keep Hearing, That Crazy Clock Go, Tic Toc Toc, Tic Toc Toc!I open my eyes after her rhyme has finished. Hoping to see her.All I see is my client, Jonathan Price. He is about four inches from my face. All contorted and stretched out in ways that are not humanly possible! He is leaning over towards me, still in his straight jacket with the biggest smile on his face. A smile that shouldn’t have been able to fit there! This is,Hoping I Give You Nightmares,Jim Hauenstein,
And,“The time would not pass. Somebody was playing with the clocks, and not only the electronic clocks but the wind-up kind too. The second hand on my watch would twitch once, and a year would pass, and then it would twitch again. There was nothing I could do about it. As an Earthling I had to believe whatever clocks said -and calendars.”
- Kurt Vonnegut -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
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From Onions To Pawternity

TwoBuck,the answer man.How can I live longer without dietingand excising?I want to live to be one-hundred-years-old!My answer to you is;Eat An Onion. The Health Benefits of Eating Onions.
By Dr. Glenn S. Rothfeld on his website Nutrition & Healing
"The onion is no slacker, though. Research has shown onions to have strong anti-bacterial, anti-inflammatory, and anti-allergic actions, which could be why they are the starting point of choice for the cuisine of so many cultures around the world. There is also a wide variety of onions, and a recent study shows that all onions are not equal when it comes to their healthful qualities. Researchers sought to determine which varieties had the highest antioxidant qualities, as well as the ability to inhibit cancer cell growth. The varieties included in the study were: Shallot, Western Yellow, New York Bold, Northern Red, Empire Sweet, Western White, Peruvian Sweet, Mexico, Texas 1015, Imperial Valley Sweet, and the Vidalia."
(I didn’t even know there were so many.)"The winner was the shallot, a staple in Asian, Mexican, French, and Mediterranean cooking. Shallots had the highest antioxidant activity among the 11 varieties tested, with six times more phenolics than the lowest-ranked onion, the Vidalia. The shallot also had the greatest effect against liver cancer cell growth, along with the western yellow and the New York bold, although the latter two were the highest ranked against colon cancer cell growth. Onions get a bad rap for their effect on breath, and their ability to induce tears during meal preparation, but this shouldn’t keep them off your shopping list. To combat the tears when slicing and dicing, chill them for about an hour or so before cutting. This slows the activity of the enzyme that produces the allyl sulfate, which is what causes the tears."
As for that infamous onion breath,chew a sprig of parsley after any onion-containing meal.As proof,for me,I just have to look to myFather to see the benefits of onions.He grew up during theGreat Depression.Sometimes,the only meal that hisMothercould feed him was anOnion Sandwich.A staple for the poor during that time.He stills eatsOnion Sandwichesto this dayand he is overNinety-One-Years Old!
 Answer Man,what isPawternity Leaveand how can I get in on the fun?First have to get a job at a brewery inScotland!  Beer Company Gives Its Staff a Week's Paid Pawternity Leave. By Lee Moran for Huffington Post.com"This is one totally paw-some job perk. Bosses at Scotland-based craft beer company BrewDog are giving their almost 1,000 employees around the world one week’s paid leave when they welcome a new puppy into their lives. It’s not easy trying to juggle work and settle a new dog into your life, and many members of our crew have four-legged friends at home, said BrewDog’s co-founder, James Watt. So we wanted to take the stress out of the situation and let our teams take the time they need to welcome their new puppy or dog into their family. Founded in 2007 by Watt and Martin Dickie (and the company’s mascot, labrador Bracken), BrewDog has offices in Aberdeenshire, Glasgow and London, as well as 50 bars worldwide. A new brewery is opening in Columbus, Ohio. At the company’s Aberdeenshire headquarters alone, 50 office dogs regularly accompany their owners to work. Employees around the world are eligible for the new perk. BrewDog revealed details of the new benefit ― dubbed pawternity or mutternity leave ― on its website Monday, and said it was part of its plan to be the best company to work for, ever. We’re not aware of any other American company giving a week’s leave to their staff to help build the bond between them and their dog ― but then few other companies have four-legged friends at their center as we do, the statement read." Maybe that last story isn't aScientific Story,but it is aGood Storynever-the-less.
 This is,Working On My Next Book As We Speak,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“If you cross an onion with a UFO, what you get is a flying saucer that brings tears to your eyes.”- Terence McKenna -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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21 In Dog Years

The other day,a friend of mineand I were disusing what men find attractive in women.I said,"I think more men today are looking for intelligence in a woman."And he said,"Sure, that is the first thing men are looking for when they stick their hands up a woman's dress. A library card!"
You know what the most beautiful words are in the English language?I told you so!
When I lost my rifle,the Army charged me $85.That’s why in the Navy,the captain goes down with the ship.
The Revenant(2015).
An epic tale of one man’s desperate journey to 
do whatever it takes to 
finally win an Oscar. 
Every Scooby-Doo episode would literally be two minutes long if the gang went to the Party City Store first and asked a few questions.
Outside of a Buddhist Temple in Nepal.“If you lived here, you’d be om by now.”
The closest a person ever comes to perfection is when he is writing his own resume.
I think it’s pretty cool how 
the Chinese made a language entirely out of tattoos.
Bifocals are God’s way of saying,“Keep your chin up.”
I’d rather spend ten minutes 
rearranging the dishwasher to 
accommodate something than spend 30 seconds washing it by hand!
What is a man's idea of a balanced diet?
  A Beer in each hand!
How is a casino like a woman?
  Liquor in the front, poker in the back!
Why did God invent whiskey?
  So the Irish would never rule the world!
This is,Me Saying That Instagram Is Twitter For People Who Go Outside,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“Never underestimate how much assistance, how much satisfaction, how much comfort, how much soul and transcendence there might be in a well-made taco and a cold bottle of beer.”
- Tom Robbins, -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
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The Man From Mars - Episode Six

   I did a piece once on the operations of the different types of brothels on Roosevelt Avenue. What I didn't do, was to use people names or descriptions. The type of buildings they used or their addresses. And maybe, what atoned or endeared me to Hong Xia was the fact that my article was in favor of bordellos. Stating they were not the crime infested dens of iniquity or houses of ill repute as crime enforcement would have you believe. They have a place in our community, if they are regulated and monitored properly. They are not part of the seedy underside of society as the politicians have campaign against all our lives. Just ask anyone from Nevada.
   I enter a building four doors down from Hong Xia's brothel. It's a Chinese Restaurant.
   She is no longer at the front door of the bordello greeting customers as they come in. Some one else does that now.
   Hong Xia has moved all of the business aspect here, to the back of the eatery. All her books, guest lists, money, and girls, when they are off of work, are here in what she calls her safe house. A place where the clients can't find the girls, so they can have time for themselves, and get a free meal on the house.
    I walk into the place, find an open table near the kitchen area, and wait for a waitress to come and take my order.   "Hi," came a hi pitch voice greeting me at my table. "My name, Liling. I take your order when you are ready, please."   "Hello Liling," I said her name as friendly as I could. "I will just have a cup of coffee please, and could you tell Miss Hong Xia that George Johnson is here to talk to her?"   "Hong Xia?" The high pitched waitress asked. "We have no Hong Xia working here. You have wrong place maybe?"   I should have known precautions would have been taken ahead of time.   "I assure you," I said. "I am not an undercover cop or from any street gang trying to muscle my way in on her territory. I am George Johnson, a journalist. I wrote a story about how it shouldn't be a crime to have or run bordellos in Queens."   "That is very kind of you Mister Johnson, but still no Hong Xia here." Liling said adamantly. "You still have wrong place."   "OK then," I answered her. "Give me some wonton soup, an egg roll, some coffee, and I'll wait until she does come in."   My waitress smiled at me while saying, "You have long wait. Hong Xia not work here. I bring you your order as soon as it is ready. Thank you very much."   And off she went to the kitchen, giving my order to the chef I presume.   Hopefully to Hong Xia too.   After six cups of coffee, three bathroom breaks, and three-and-a-half hours of waiting, I here a familiar voice come up from behind me.   "Mister Johnson. How wonderful to see you. But not in your usual, beautifully cut, Armani suit I see.    It was Hong Xia. As observant as ever.   She continued.   "By your look, you have not come calling as an old friend or a potential client. You are in trouble."   "Hi Hong Xia, it's good to see you too." I told her. "You are very wise and as beautiful as ever."   "Cut the crap George. I was born in this country and I don't need the Chinese pleasantries to get to the point."   She looked at me sternly. "What the hell are you doing here, what kind of trouble are you in, and why should I put myself and my business in jeopardy because you are here to ask me for help?"   "That is why I like you Cathy," Hong Xia real first name. "You are always one step ahead of everyone else."   "You can't help but butter me up, can you?" She questioned. "And call me Hong Xia around here please. I need to keep up appearances."   "Well, OK. I need your help, this is true." I tried to sound like a little lost soul so she would feel sorry for me and take me in. "I need a place to hide low for a few days until I get my bearings."   "Who is after you?" Was her quick question.   "I'm not really sure."   "Cut the crap George."   "I'm not sure really, but I did get a call from a Secret Service Agent this morning."   Hong Xia twists around in place, stomping her right foot once, and says some inaudible vulgarities under her breath.   She turns back around, looks at me, and asks, "Tell me why I shouldn't call the cops on you right now?"   All I could think of saying was, "Five-hundred-bucks?"
To Be Continued...
Next Thursday.
This is,Thinking My Main Character Is Insane After Pawning His Rolex WatchAnd Throwing Away An Armani Suit,Even I Am Not That Crazy!Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“Desperate people are dangerous people.”
- Bob Ritter, -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you are reading?Set up my Blog as your Homepage,or Sign up as a Follower,or Leave a Comment,or a Suggestion,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.

The Man From Mars - Chapter Six

   I did a piece once on the operations of the different types of brothels on Roosevelt Avenue. What I didn't do, was to use people names or descriptions. The type of buildings they used or their addresses. And maybe, what atoned or endeared me to Hong Xia was the fact that my article was in favor of bordellos. Stating they were not the crime infested dens of iniquity or houses of ill repute as crime enforcement would have you believe. They have a place in our community, if they are regulated and monitored properly. They are not part of the seedy underside of society as the politicians have campaign against all our lives. Just ask anyone from Nevada.
   I enter a building four doors down from Hong Xia's brothel. It's a Chinese Restaurant.
   She is no longer at the front door of the bordello greeting customers as they come in. Some one else does that now.
   Hong Xia has moved all of the business aspect here, to the back of the eatery. All her books, guest lists, money, and girls, when they are off of work, are here in what she calls her safe house. A place where the clients can't find the girls, so they can have time for themselves, and get a free meal on the house.
    I walk into the place, find an open table near the kitchen area, and wait for a waitress to come and take my order.   "Hi," came a hi pitch voice greeting me at my table. "My name, Liling. I take your order when you are ready, please."   "Hello Liling," I said her name as friendly as I could. "I will just have a cup of coffee please, and could you tell Miss Hong Xia that George Johnson is here to talk to her?"   "Hong Xia?" The high pitched waitress asked. "We have no Hong Xia working here. You have wrong place maybe?"   I should have known precautions would have been taken ahead of time.   "I assure you," I said. "I am not an undercover cop or from any street gang trying to muscle my way in on her territory. I am George Johnson, a journalist. I wrote a story about how it shouldn't be a crime to have or run bordellos in Queens."   "That is very kind of you Mister Johnson, but still no Hong Xia here." Liling said adamantly. "You still have wrong place."   "OK then," I answered her. "Give me some wonton soup, an egg roll, some coffee, and I'll wait until she does come in."   My waitress smiled at me while saying, "You have long wait. Hong Xia not work here. I bring you your order as soon as it is ready. Thank you very much."   And off she went to the kitchen, giving my order to the chef I presume.   Hopefully to Hong Xia too.   After six cups of coffee, three bathroom breaks, and three-and-a-half hours of waiting, I here a familiar voice come up from behind me.   "Mister Johnson. How wonderful to see you. But not in your usual, beautifully cut, Armani suit I see.    It was Hong Xia. As observant as ever.   She continued.   "By your look, you have not come calling as an old friend or a potential client. You are in trouble."   "Hi Hong Xia, it's good to see you too." I told her. "You are very wise and as beautiful as ever."   "Cut the crap George. I was born in this country and I don't need the Chinese pleasantries to get to the point."   She looked at me sternly. "What the hell are you doing here, what kind of trouble are you in, and why should I put myself and my business in jeopardy because you are here to ask me for help?"   "That is why I like you Cathy," Hong Xia real first name. "You are always one step ahead of everyone else."   "You can't help but butter me up, can you?" She questioned. "And call me Hong Xia around here please. I need to keep up appearances."   "Well, OK. I need your help, this is true." I tried to sound like a little lost soul so she would feel sorry for me and take me in. "I need a place to hide low for a few days until I get my bearings."   "Who is after you?" Was her quick question.   "I'm not really sure."   "Cut the crap George."   "I'm not sure really, but I did get a call from a Secret Service Agent this morning."   Hong Xia twists around in place, stomping her right foot once, and says some inaudible vulgarities under her breath.   She turns back around, looks at me, and asks, "Tell me why I shouldn't call the cops on you right now?"   All I could think of saying was, "Five-hundred-bucks?"
To Be Continued...
Next Thursday.
This is,Thinking My Main Character Is Insane After Pawning His Rolex WatchAnd Throwing Away An Armani Suit,Even I Am Not That Crazy!Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“Desperate people are dangerous people.”
- Bob Ritter, -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you are reading?Set up my Blog as your Homepage,or Sign up as a Follower,or Leave a Comment,or a Suggestion,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.

Shamelessly Plugging My Novel For Only 99 Cents

As most of you are coming to myBlogusing your cellphone these days,you will have noticed a new look to the opening page.On my iPhone,the opening page's new look has a wide yellowish to greenish band across the middle.On the left side of this band there are5 "Home" Links,with5 "Down Arrows"on the right side representing those sameLinks.These are links to,from top to bottom,"A Novel You Can Buy For 99 Cents, No Return Address,""The Man From Mars Weekly Serial,""Why Should I Die - A Novelette,""Short Stories & Flash Fiction,"and"Poetry."If you come to myBlogvia a computer,you will notice a few new arrangements,but nothing that you cannot navigate through.It is all about how websites are transformed so your phone can download the pages faster.I hope this helps to understand what is being done to myBlogand why. Also,there has been some problems for some people who want to sign up as aFollower,but they don't see any place on the web-page when they are looking at it on their cellphones.The only way you can sign up as aFolloweris,if you look at the site on your computeror scroll down to the bottom of the page on your cellphone,and just above,where it says"About Me,"you will see a link that says,"View Web Version."You can only see"The Blue Follow Me Link"in the full web version about half way down the first page.I hope you like the new arrangements I have been adding to myBlog,because frankly,it is getting pretty full of a lot of stuff I would like you to read,but that I assume are too hard to find sometimes. This is,Me,Shamelessly Plugging My Novel For Only 99 Cents,No Return AddressJim Hauenstein,
And,
“I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library.”
- Jorge Luis Borges -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you are reading?Set up my Blog as your Homepage,or Sign up as a Follower,or Leave a Comment,or a Suggestion,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.

My Valentine's Day Card

It isValentine's Day.The day we celebrate love.Rumor has it,because no one knows for sure,that aRoman Catholic Priestused to secretly marryRoman Soldierswhen it was against the law.It was believed that married soldiers would not fight as hard as unmarried soldiers because they worried too much about dyingand leaving their loved ones alone,with no one to protect them.Well,thePriestwas namedValentine,and after he was beheaded for disobeyingRoman Law,he eventual became thePatron Saint Of Lovers.St. Valentine lost his head so we can sendValentine's Day Cardsto our loved ones.Isn't that sweet?Well,here is myValentine's Day CardI wrote for my wife.It was originally a song,but I never recorded it with me singing it.So it will always be a card for myWife. I always thought love should flower,a petal by a petal.But when I look into your eyes,I give you my heart and soul forever.
These few words say little, on how much I love you.How can I explain?You turn my grey skies so blue.
My message is clear.
Quick to heart,
and simple to see,
but I'm scared.
Thinking you might not feel
the same about me.
I always thought love should flower,
a petal by a petal.
But when I look into your eyes,
I give you my heart and soul forever.
But on this day I'm sure,
I don't sing these words in vain.Because this,
this is the day,
that love has its reign.
This is,
Being Romantic On This Day For Lovers,
Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“Valentine's Day is the poet's holiday.” - Ted Kooser - That is my story and I am sticking to it! Like what you are reading,or do not like what you see.Set up my Blog as your Homepage,or sign up as a Follower,or leave a Comment,or a Suggestion,and I will answer you in a Post. Thanks for reading. And Now,TwoBuckHowie with the Exact Changeperforming"Love Should Flower."With Buka Biker singing.(Stage Name)

Sign A Petition - I Dare You

A lot of people out there always tell me that;"TwoBuck, I just don't have the time to start a Political Party of my own, work for change in the Two Parties we already have, or write to my Senator or House of Representative. But if you can make it easy for all of us "Coach Potatoes" to be heard at the White House, I am all for it."
Well,do I have a surprise for you.I have a way for you to get involved in ourDemocratic Systemby either signing aPetitionor creating your ownPetition!All from the comfort of your computer chair.Yes,that is rightBoys & Girls,you too can make a difference by going to the website; We the People "Your Voice in the White House."Create a Petition, Gather Signatures, and get 100,000 Signatures in Thirty Days![image error] Now you don't have to get up off the coach to make a difference.Go ahead,sign thatPetition.
"Wow, TwoBuck. That was so much fun, what else do you have to offer?"Well,Boys & Girls,why don't we open up a gate.AFredkin Gate."The Fredkin gate (also CSWAP gate) is a computational circuit suitable for reversible computing, invented by Edward Fredkin. It is universal, which means that any logical or arithmetic operation can be constructed entirely of Fredkin gates. The Fredkin gate is a circuit or device with three inputs and three outputs that transmits the first bit unchanged and swaps the last two bits if, and only if, the first bit is 1. The basic Fredkin gate is a controlled swap gate that maps three inputs (C, I1, I2) onto three outputs (C, O1, O2). The C input is mapped directly to the C output. If C = 0, no swap is performed; I1 maps to O1, and I2 maps to O2. Otherwise, the two outputs are swapped so that I1 maps to O2, and I2 maps to O1. It is easy to see that this circuit is reversible, i.e., undoes itself when run backwards. A generalized n×n Fredkin gate passes its first n-2 inputs unchanged to the corresponding outputs, and swaps its last two outputs if and only if the first n-2 inputs are all 1. The Fredkin gate is the reversible three-bit gate that swaps the last two bits if the first bit is 1."
  Stick that in your pipeand smoke it,you wannabe computer programmers!

This is,I Am Just Like The Rest Of Those Artists Who Boycotted The Grammy's Last Night.The Music I Wrote Never Gets NominatedSo I Refuse To Attend The Event.Plus,I Wasn't Invited.Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom.”
- Isaac Asimov -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

Like what you are reading,or do not like what you see.Set up my Blog as your Homepage,or sign up as a Follower,or leave a Comment,or a Suggestion,and I will answer you in a Post.

Thanks for reading.

Teenage Rebellion

After watching a college basketball game,I started thinking about my youth.My junior year of high school to be exact.Where the living was simple,if you can get by the teenage angst everyone goes through.I had my moments,but nothing as severe as kids go through today.Here is my depiction of life as a junior in high school back inSouth Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
Long hair,muddy boots.Tied dyed shirt,getting dirty looks.
No job,but still in school.No car,walking is cool.
Use the fingers,free cigarettes.Five finger discount,You can't have any regrets.
Please sir,buy me some beer.No Officer,I'm not lingering here.
Raid gardens at night,when I'm really hungry.After toking a pipe,and I have no money.
Teenage living,in hell or high water.Ring the bell,hi,I'm here for your daughter.

This is,See,Life Is Always As FunOr As DifficultAs You Like To Make It.Jim Hauenstein,
“Being classy is my teenage rebellion.”
- Rebecca McKinsey -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you are reading,or do not like what you see.Set up my Blog as your Homepage,or sign up as a Follower,or leave a Comment,or a Suggestion,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.

Thinking Up Ways To Use Those Bunker Busting Bombs

Okay,I have been wanting one for years.We are so close with our technology,that I can see a trueStar Trek Replicatorin our near future.  In the mean time,3D Printinghas come way down in priceand is now affordable for youand I.Check outMakezine.com and sort by price.They do all the comparisons for youand for my money I like the;Printrbot Play for only $399
"Brook Drumm and Printrbot are an inspiration to makers and hardware hackers everywhere. Their company credo seems to be a healthy combination of minimalism and irreverence from which a good number of innovative, thought-provoking products have emerged. The Printrbot Play is another excellent 3D printer from this lineage in terms of print quality, speed, and form factor. While the design is clearly aimed at an educational audience of young makers and their teachers, the Play should appeal to anyone on a budget looking for an entry-level printer. With the maturation of their metal frame machines Printrbot has developed a business model that keeps the prices of their products low, quality high, and locates their manufacturing in the USA. In this fashion they are able to compete very well with the clones coming across the Pacific and keep innovating briskly with new products like the Play and their upcoming range of CNC machines. All the while asking two basic questions, how can we do more with less and how can we flip the paradigm to do something both innovative and useful."

Come on?Just thinking up things to create all day will be loads of funand a lot better than watching TV!Unless of course you are watching;Doctor Who,Firefly,anyStar TrekTV ShoworMovie,and theStar WarsMovie Series!
Now isn't this a sweet story about theUS Armywanting toGo Green!
US Army wants Bullets that turn into Plants Over Time. By Steve Dent for Engadget on MSN.com/News
"The US military may not seem like the greenest of organizations, but if rising seas and temperatures produce worldwide chaos, they're the ones that have to deal with that s***. Now, the Department of Defense is trying to tackle environmental problems caused by spent bullets and casings on its firing ranges by using composite materials laced with seeds. The military fires hundreds of thousands of rounds during training, ranging from bullets to 155mm artillery shells. While casings are collected, and often recycled, the bullets themselves generally aren't, and can take "hundreds of years" to break down in the environment. That can pollute the soil and water supply, harm animals, and generally look like c*** if you stumble upon them. To tackle the problem, the DoDo has made a proposal call for a biodegradable composite bullet impregnated with seeds that will survive the initial blast and searing velocities. The seeds should only sprout after being in the ground for several months and be safe for animals to consume."

That is some pretty vulgar language for aNews Story.But what the hay anyway.Maybe,if they create these magic bullets,we can get theStreet Gangsto use themand clean upCompton! .This is,Me,Thinking Up Ways To Use Those Bunker Busting Bombs By The United States Air Force To Plant Trees,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“Live for something rather than die for nothing.”
- George S. Patton Jr. -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you are reading,or do not like what you see.Set up my Blog as your Homepage,or sign up as a Follower,or leave a Comment,or a Suggestion,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.