James Hauenstein's Blog, page 102

Episode Eight

    I was left alone in what I will call "The Bunker" from now on. Since it reminds me of, one of those old World War Two movies props, where the people in Britain would hunker down together, looking to the ceiling, wondering if this was the time they were going to be the unlucky ones and a German bomb was going to find its target.
    I am sure this bunker is a lot cozier than anything they had during that era. It had two large bunk-beds with clean sheets and goose down blankets. A bathroom with a shower. Toiletries for men and women. An area for cooking. Not a stove as such, but a toaster oven and a hot plate. Satellite TV for either watching your usual entertainment or if the need be, as a security monitor. Which switched over as soon as someone opened, knock, or busted into the front or back doors. Hong Xia had this house so wired up that if someone tried breaking into any of the windows, including the ones on the second floor, the security monitor would turn on interrupting your daily soap opera.
    On one end, and I swear it must have been from World War Two, was a submarine type hatch, with the round type steering wheel on the right side.
    My Hostess asked me never to open it out of curiosity, because then I would be sleeping with the smell of human waist for a week or two. Even with modern ventilation, that sewer smell was impossible to get rid of she said.
    One wall had shelves lined along it, filled with can goods and military pouches of grub. In case you needed to pack in a hurry and hightail it out of there.
    A refrigerator was stocked full of supplies too. Everything except alcohol.
    "Cannot have falling down drunks when they should be escaping from Immigration or the Police," Hong Xia told me.
    I knew she was right, but I sure could have drank a cold one right about then.
    Another thing I noticed, there wasn't a stockpile of weapons or ammunition. Unlike the days of the 1920s Gangster, where the firepower was evenly matched between the good guys and the bad, today's Police operations in the big cities are conducted with military precision.
    There are no friendly Irish Police Officers anymore, who walk a beat, and who know everyone in the neighborhood. Police are trained as a military unit now, and taught that the public is their enemy. Its no longer "To Protect & Serve," but "Us against Them."
    After finishing my inspection of the bunker, I was just about to choose one of the two lower beds to rest on, when Hong Xia entered with a petite Chinese girl following her. The girl was holding a tray of two cups and a pot of tea. Xia orders the girl to put the tray on the dining table and to leave. She bows a few too many times towards us, then turns around and darts out of there.
    "Okay George," Hong Xia says to me. "You are now going to tell me what is going on or I will have one of my Henchmen chop you up into little pieces and serve you as sushi tonight!"
    "Wait! What?" Is all I could think of saying, while I began shacking.
    Lucky for me I didn't have any beer beforehand, like I was hoping for, because I would have pissed in my pants right about then.
    That is when Hong Xia started laughing hysterically.
    "You white people are so gullible. You see movies about Chinese Henchmen chopping people up and you think all Chinese are like that." She said, in-between laughing. "And you George. The great journalist, who fights for justice for the downtrodden, still has that stereo-typical-type in his mind when he sees a Chinese person."
    My blood pressure was beating in the high whatever, because I could feel the flush building up in my face without even looking at a mirror. Not from rage or anger, but from embarrassment.
    She was right of course. Maybe it was from a lifetime of seeing a culture or a group of people depicted the same way through the media over and over again, that I couldn't let go of some of prejudices instilled in me. But at least I work at it all the time. Trying not to be, that is.
    "Settle down George. Here, drink some tea." Xia said while pouring me a cup. "You do not look so white now George Johnson. You look like the Myrica rubra fruit from my homeland. So red and juicy in the face."
    "Very funny," I said, then gulping down my first full cup of tea. "You could have given me a heart attack!"
    "George, I want you to know I mean business. Either you tell me what is going on or you will be out of here by morning."
    I knew she was serious and I couldn't avoid it any longer. I looked into her eyes and started by saying, "You are not going to believe this." Then I told her the whole story up to this point.
   To my surprise, she did not interrupt me during my explanation, she did not laugh when I told that I believed what the stranger at the bar was telling me, and she did not ask me to leave once I had finished.
   All she asked was, "Can I see the amulet?"

This is,Will Hong Xia Really Chop Up George?Is George's Blood Pressure About To Burst?What Will Hong Xia Do Once She Sees The Amulet?Come Back Next Week For Another ExcitingEpisodeOfThe Man From MarsTo Find Out What Happens! Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese. ”
- Charles de Gaulle - That is my story and I am sticking to it! Like what you are reading?Set up my Blog as your Homepage,or Sign up as a Follower,or Leave a Comment,or a Suggestion,and I will answer you in a Post. Thanks for reading. 

The 5 Best Post Of February, 2017!

I did not write yesterday because I was feeling ill.I guess I am not used to doing everyday choresor daily life in the rain.Since I am living inSunny Southern California,I never had to do it before.This is the first time in over 28 years that I have seen it pour down this much in theSunshine State.That is why I take my hat off to those people living in the rain forestorSeattle.I am not feeling one-hundred percent today either,but I am willing to charge forward if you are willing to forgive any spelling errorsor incorrect grammar.With that said,it is time for;The Five Best Posts Of February, 2017!
 Without waiting any further,here is;The Fifth Best Post of February is;Rubbing For Good LuckI like to try to help people laugh on Fridays and on this particular occasion I tried to do observational humor to bring a smile to your face. I compared the hat situation for men over the millennium and decided Bald is Beautiful. And not just for Rubbing For Good Luck.  
The Fourth Best Post of February is; Science, As We Know It Now A couple of interesting scientific stories. One is where a new theory has evolved that the Earth itself creates water in the upper mantel and we didn't have to wait for all those comets to crash on our World. The second story is about Misophonia. One of the strangest phobias that I have ever heard of. With my explanation on how to cure most phobias. Quoting Proverbs 29:15 The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. And I Have The Wisdom To Prove It.   The Third Best Post of February is;The Man From Mars - Episode FiveMy weekly serial about a journalist who encounters a strange man at a bar who gives him an ancient amulet for safe keeping. I cannot tell you any more of the plot, because then you won't read it for yourself. 
The Second Best Post of February is;The Man From Mars - Episode Four Please see explanation above. But thank you for reading my weekly serial. I am really proud that you take the time and enjoy some of my stories!
The Number One Best Post of February, 2017 is;GuildiesI am very proud of the fact that you took the time to read about the wonderful family of gamers who came together to pay tribute to one of their own when she died suddenly. Leaving behind two children. I posted the GoFundMe Page to help for funeral expenses, Tama Moore /Pollard Funeral Expenses, a comment by one of her relatives, "My aunt/guild leader in World of Warcraft passed away over the weekend. Our guildies held a funeral service for her in Stormwind & people from all over came to pay their respects. It was beautiful & she will be deeply missed. drewye91," and some of the photos depicting her fellow "Guildies" honoring her. If you can, please tap on the Tama Moore link above and help by giving what you can. It is a beautiful story. 
This is,Hoping I Come Across Stories Like "Guildies" Again In The Future,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
  “Screw that, the question at hand is what is your major?" I asked. "Because let me tell you right now, any answer other than The World of Warcraft will not be accepted.”
- Rachel Caine, -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you are reading?Set up my Blog as your Homepage,or Sign up as a Follower,or Leave a Comment,or a Suggestion,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading. 

Feeling Under The Weather

Been running around all day in the rain.Do not feel very well right now.Sorry I don't have anything to write about today,because I really need to sleep.I'll try again tomorrow.Here are some of the songs I go to sleep to.
Take it all Back,byJudah & the Lion.
Cosmic Love,byFlorence + The Machine.
Little Lion Man,byMumford and Sons.
Blame It on Me,byGeorge Ezra.
This is,Feeling Under The Weather,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“Because there is no glory in illness. There is no meaning to it. There is no honor in dying of.”
- John Green, -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you are reading?Set up my Blog as your Homepage,or Sign up as a Follower,or Leave a Comment,or a Suggestion,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.

The Rose Colored Glasses

“Wait a minute Jerri. Why don't you sit down with me and have some breakfast. I have a little story I would like to tell you before your birthday tomorrow.”I was talking to my nineteen year old Granddaughter who had just come down the stairs from her bedroom and started arguing with her Mother in the kitchen the minute she saw her.My Grandchild is a beautiful young woman, but with the nose piercing, body art, and Gothic Punk look so common with young people today. They feel their life is bleak and are disenchanted about their future because of the Right Wing Politics of the Old and Wealthy! They fall for the notions fed to them by Conservatives who adhere to Television's doom and gloom every where you look, Movie Magic's we'll all be dead from Robots or an Alien Invasion, and my favorite, from all the different Game Consoles out there, most of us will be Zombies soon!To our youth, each day seems grim and desperate. All they hear from the Multimedia are stories on how the Corporate Monsters out there are destroying the environment for huge profits, Government War Machines playing Chess with each other over the dead bodies of the innocent, lives being lost by Terrorists in the name of God, and the Rich getting richer as one third of the World's Population starves to death. To them, there are no trends coming along to better our situation or no one person capable of changing the future.“What do you want Gramps? You gonna lecture me about, when I was your age bullshit?”“Never,” I said. “What do you take me for, some kind of fool? I just want to tell you about this little present I have here for you.”This of course got her attention. Nothing like a gift to sweeten the sour!“OK Da Da,” her affectionate name for me since she was able to speak. “Lay it on me. I gotta meet my boyfriend as soon as he wakes up. So when he calls, I'm outta here!” Snapping the fingers of her right hand and then waving the same hand over her shoulder in the hitch-hiker’s pose.She took the seat across from me, at the kitchen table, waving off her Mother's attempt of putting a plate of bacon and eggs in front of her. I could see the impatience building as I finished chewing some of my food and then taking a sip of coffee.“Jerri,” I started with. “I did say it was a little story, but it is actually about some of our ancestors, how your gift came about, and how it has been in our family for over one hundred fifty years. So if I do say something ignorant like, in my day, don't hesitate to laugh.”I started out this way because I didn't want her to be defensive in any way. With the daily interrogation she gets from her Parents and the way they ask their questions, it always comes out of their lips sounding more like annoying statements then a query. You know, stuff like; “Why do you have to dress that way!? Why can't you act like a lady!? Whatever happened to that nice boy you used to go out with!? And so on!There is nothing like destroying someone's self worth with the same badgering Q and A, while never waiting for the A, every time you see that person. Examinations that denote their attempt to being an individual as foolhardy, or ignorant.At Jerri's age, words can still be from the Witches Caldron that can either have black, or white magic behind them! Positive dialogue will build esteem in one so emotionally young while contemptuous language will influence the mind into cynicism and pessimism about one's own life!In my time, I would say I was around the age of twenty-five when the words lost their charm over me. In some people it may come sooner, while others it will come later, and still others it may never come.My Wife, rest her soul, never realized how deep the words sliced threw her heart when someone close to her would use malice, trying to break her spirit as theirs had been broken. But misery loves company you know.“Da Da, I wouldn't laugh at you, you're the only one who understands me!”“Oh, ha ha! You’d be surprised how little I understand young people today.” I said in response. “But that is the great thing about life. The joy there is from learning something new everyday!”“Well, what did you get me?” Jerri asked.“First, let me ask your Mother if it's OK to give you your present a day early?”As I was asking this, I turned my head to look over my shoulder at my daughter Danielle, who was still wrestling up some eggs and bacon for the other two members of the household. She in turn, turns around to put one hand on her housecoat covered hip, while with the other points the spatula at me as if brandishing a small weapon, then tipping her head to one side to smile. The kind of smile that tells you, “Now that you have backed me into a corner, am I supposed to say no?”“Since your Mother is so quit I guess I'll have to take that as an OK. We wouldn't want to put her on the spot now would we!”“Thank you!” Danielle sarcastically said, turning back to her frying pan.I, myself turned back to face Jerri again and told her, “There is a bit of mystery surrounding the gift I have brought you.”“Humph!” My daughter exclaimed, still with her back to us.“Be quiet non-believer!” I proclaimed to add excitement. “You had your chance, this family heirloom shall go to my Granddaughter. Still an innocent soul!”“Same line you used on me twenty two years ago Dad. Can't think of any new Hocus Pocus?” My daughter asked with a big grin on her face.I combated her cynicism with, “Your Mother would be rolling in her grave right now if she could hear the sarcasm coming from those lips. Again, I ask you to be quiet please. Why don't you just feed your husband and son some of those over cooked eggs of yours, so I can tell my gracious and precious Granddaughter here, the truth behind the Rose Colored Glasses!”“Oh, that was a low blow Dad, talking about my cooking that way.” Danielle replied. “Go ahead. Weave your tale about our mysterious ancestors and when you get hungry later, see what kind of mysterious food you'll be eating!”“Mom, let Grandpa tell me what he wants to so I can get the Hell out of here!” Jerri said, interrupting us.“Now Jerri..... my daughter started to scold, with every intent of lecturing her on proper manners and proper language for a young lady. But I thought it was a perfect opportunity to interrupt the two of them before another shouting match began!“Jerri, did you know our forefathers can be traced back to settling in this country from the time of the Revolutionary War?”“Grandpa, I'm outta here! I don't have time for one of your History lesson!”“Oh, I'm sorry. Its just that the History behind the glass tells you how long it has been in our family, how valuable it is to us all, and what it will be worth to you in the long run!” I told her nonchalantly.You could see dollar signs rolling around behind her eyes. These few key words brought only the idea of money to her mind. Not imagining them to be descriptive in nature.“How much money do you think I could get for them Da Da?” She asked.“Well, let me tell you the story behind them and you can judge for yourself!” I explained to her, trying to peak her interest even more.“As you know, our ancestors came over from Germany in the Hessian Army of 1776 and fought on the side of Great Britain during the war. There were three brothers, their last name was the same as mine, Schmidt. You could say they came over as mercenaries, but with every intention of staying behind in America after the war was over no matter which side had won.”“In fact, documents from the time suggests that German soldiers were well respected and well cared for, by both the American Patriots who had won the war and the vanquished British. At the conclusion of the hostilities, the newly formed Congress of the Confederation, as our first governing body was known, offered incentives for the German soldiers to stay in the Colonies. While Great Britain repaid their debt by offering land for German soldiers willing to settle in Nova Scotia. Which England still claimed as one of their remaining Colonies.”I had Jerri's attention now. I could tell when she didn't notice her Mother putting a glass of orange juice in front of her, and without thinking about it, taking a sip.Continuing, I explained the fate of the three brothers to her.“Unfortunately the oldest brother, Heinrich, did not survive the battle of Chadd's Ford. A waist of the Hessian forces, as they were used as a diversion by the British troops, so the main body of soldiers could cross a river at another point and begin the Battle of Brandywine Creek.”“Another brother Torsten, which history does not tell us if he was the second oldest or youngest of the three, took the offer from the British of land as payment for his service after the War had ended and headed north to Nova Scotia. Annuals of time did not record the fate of this brother.”“Finally Wilhelm Schmidt shows up after the Hessian army had disbanded, first in records from Fort  Harmar in the Ohio Valley, as a settler who was quickly expelled once The Ohio Company of Associates bought up the land and gave his settlement to owners of Warrants. Those were documents giving American Revolutionary War Veterans the rights to land since the new Government did not have a way to pay them monetarily. Since Wilhelm fought on the side of the British, he did not have one of these Warrants.”“The next time we hear about Wilhelm is in the memoirs of his son Henriech, who we know was named after Wilhelm's older brother. Henriech wrote that; Even though no deaths accrued in our battle over the bridge, I was proud to fight along side Solomon Juneau. He fought bravely enough, for in my eyes, to be the first Mayor of Milwaukee. A new city charter will unite together the three communities of Juneautown, Kilbourntown, and Walker's Point under one Political roof. No longer fighting over the bridge that connects our communities. Sadly as it is, I now realize why my father, Wilhelm Schmidt, would not talk about his battles as a Hessian fighting on the wrong side of the War against Great Britain. I saw first hand what a gunshot wound can do to a man's right arm. Clean threw the bone was the shot, where only skin and muscle held the bottom half to the top. As the man ran in circles in agonizing pain, the two separated. We affectionately now call him Lefty McFarland. It must have haunted my father until the day he died to have seen his brother killed in battle and lost the other to the wilderness!”By this time Jerome, Danielle's husband, had come down from upstairs and sat at the breakfast table with us. Scooping from a platter of eggs, bacon, toast, and link sausages to a plate of his own.Sausages, something my daughter had forgotten to tell me she was cooking. If I remember later on, my next story will have to be about the proper protocols of feeding the elderly.Interrupting my daydream, Jerri tells me, “Gramps, stop staring at all that food and continue with the story about the glasses! Your getting too fat anyways!”This brought out laughter from everyone, including my Grandson Julius, who had just entered the room.“Oh, how I can see so much of your Mother in you Jerri!” I countered. This made her crinkle her nose a bit as if acting disgusted.“Now the reason to tell you all of this was to explain why Henriech Schmidt was living in the Milwaukee area. If you want me to go into greater detail about who married who and how many children each ancestor had I'll be glad to include it in the family tale?”“Sorry Dad,” Jerome said, thinking he was taking control of the situation. “Julius here has a soccer game today at two o'clock. Can we skip most of that part of the story?”“OK,” I said reluctantly. “I'll get to the history of the glass.”“By the 1840's and the next couple of decades, Germans migrated in such masses that the town became known as the Deutsches Athen. A reference to the fact that most of the Newspapers were written in German during this time and most of the people spoke the German language instead of English. In fact, after the failed 1848 Revolution in Germany, many scholarly and artistic citizens left their homeland to flee persecution and settle in the Milwaukee area. A Renaissance of German Culture bloomed during this time.”“With all these people migrating to the area, Henriech decided the town needed a Protestant Church for his neighbors to worship in. His memoirs do not specify exactly who he wrote to in Germany, only stating that it was a second cousin of his which he had never met, but who worked in one of the Stained Glass Houses at the time which supplied most of the Churches of Europe with its colored glass. After all the fees were paid and the glass was already on its way to the new continent, Henriech found out that his Cousin belonged to a secret society called The High Enlighten Oculist Order of Wolfenbuttel!”“It is said, but no document remains, that when his Cousin wrote back, he stated in his letter; Though the mystics and rites of the Gods from Asgard can no longer be preached or practiced in public, I have sent, with my Master's blessing, the glass fired for the windows of a High Priestess in Leichengrad, now in retreat. A glass so powerful it was formed by alchemy from the quixotic sands found along the Seine River in France. Sands that are said to be mixed with the powdered Human Bones from a secret catacomb underneath Paris itself! My Master then imported the ivory colored limestone which was removed from an ancient Pyramid near the African River Nile. The Lime was then coalesced with a fine diamond dust mined in China during the time of the Ming Dynasty. Finally harvesting from Spain was the Barillo plant, minced together with the Glasswort plant of England, for the sodium. All fired together in the oldest of logs from the darkest center of the Black Forest, which then burned so hot that the formed glass would not crack when cooled in the virgin waters of melted snows from Norway.”I slowly looked everyone in the eye to make sure I had their attention before slowly saying, “If I heard those words today,” pausing for a breath, then quickly saying. “I would think that guy worked at a Madison Avenue Add Agency!”“Is that true?” Little Julius asked.“Grandpa!” Jerri said with disgust.While both Jerome and my daughter laughed.“No!” I said. “I heard those words are true. I just thought the guy was trying to advertise his goods hoping to get repeat business! Instead, I think he scared Henriech away!”“What does this have to do with the value of the glasses Da Da?” Jerri asked while smiling. I could tell she was enjoying herself because her phone rang, but she turned it off instead of answering it!“OK,OK. As the story goes, when Henriech received the glass, the wooden crate itself had the Viking Rune Letters branded into it! He took this as another sign that the glass inside was not fit for the walls of his Protestant Church. Superstition kept him from trying to destroy the glass, probably because of the description that the glass was powerful and formed by alchemy, so he stored the glass in the basement of the Church and never discussed it again in any of his correspondences or his personal journals!”“We don't hear about the glass again until after the year of 1933. During the height of the Great Depression from one of Henriech's Grandsons, Bernard Schmidt. He was the brother of Aksel, the Minister of the Church at this time. He worked for his brother as the caretaker even though he was educated as a optometrist. He also kept an extensive diary about his wife and himself during this period.”“Bernard wrote how hard it was taking care of his two children and a wife who became increasingly useless from despair after he had lost his business and all their savings during the first couple of years of the depression.”“The exciting part of his biography started in May of 1934. His wife had broken the last pair of bifocals that she owned, since there wasn't any money to be had, probably because he was working at the Church for their room and board only, he was aloud to rummage through the storage areas of the Church. Maybe somebody, at one time, had donated a pair of glasses, or maybe just left a pair behind and his wife would be able to use them he hoped.”“Of course he searched through the basement and found the crate marked; Glas für die Kirche!”“And what does that translate to my wonderful daughter?”“Da, lass mich nachdenken?” (Da, let me think?) Danielle said while scratching her head as if confused.Smiling, as if an idea just popped into her head, she looked at her children and said, “Oh I know! Glass for the Church!”“I could have told you that, Mommy.” little Julius said. “You can tell by the way Grandpa tells the story.”“So let me tell you more of the story before your Mother interrupts us again!” I teased.“Dad, I'm going to get you back for that later you know.” she said.“Well, let the negativity flow from your mind and join your children in the innocent world of the positive!”“Dad, stop talking in riddles and finish your story so Julius and I can get going.” Jerome calmly told me.“Oh, now I'm getting ganged up on, am I?” Taking a sip of coffee.I acted as if I had forgotten where I was in the story, then continued with, “Well, my Great Grandfather examined the glass, after removing it from the case, he noticed that it enhanced whatever object he placed behind the Rose Color. He was given permission to use it for his wife and whom ever he felt could use that strength of magnification from a pair of glasses. He wrote in his diary, and yes a lot of our ancestors did keep personnel journals since this was the only way to keep the family history alive at the time, Bernard wrote; At first my wife was repulsed by the color of the glass, like most things now in her life. Though once upon her face, she swore the clarity was better than anything she wore before. I too noticed a change in her. My meaning is not in the way she could see clearer, but her overall demeanor. Since she has put on those glasses, her spirits has risen, no longer talking about how God has abandoned us, but how there is hope for our future. My wife even said that after wearing those Rose Colored Glasses for a time, she could see in other men and women, the deceit in their words or the honesty when they spoke. I do not know how true this can be, but the day the Bank asked for collateral for a Business Loan I asked for, so I could reopen my shop, Lilith would not part with our Wedding Rings, her Mother's Locket, and a sliver of gold in the shape of a Leaf given to her by her Father! Not a day later, the Bank Manager had fled with everyone's savings from inside those Safe Deposit Boxes of theirs, which then closed this Bank as another rush came from the Towns People hoping any savings of theirs was left!”“Grandpa, do you think the glasses are magic?” asked Julius with his eyes widening in anticipation.“Don't be dumb.” said his sister flatly. “There is no such thing as magic!”“Oh, let me correct you there my child.” I said. “Words, Friendship, the World, Animals, Plants, the Sky, and many other beautiful things in life are magical!”“Take for example, if I were an evil person and told you every morning when you woke up that you were ugly, after a time of hearing those same words over and over, you would start to believe you were ugly.”“Being the good individual that I am, instead I would tell you, that there are many wonderful things in life to experience, just keep your head up and perceive what is all around you!”“And if you do keep your head raised up high upon your shoulders, you will notice that many extraordinary elements of life will be right in front of you for the taking.”I raised my head slightly higher and reaching out with my hands, panning from left to right to show how much more I was able to see.“But if I was monster who wanted to control you, I would frighten you into thinking everything around you was horrid except for me. I would tell you to keep your eyes looking down, so your vision was minimal, telling you that if you would never look up, you couldn't see the atrocities that lurk around every corner. In this way I would control your line of vision and the only insights into life would be from me. I would make your world so small that you would never notice the beauty which surrounds us all.”I cupped my hands around my eyes and bent my head down to try to show how small of an area I would be able to view. Hoping to demonstrate how closed in your world would be if someone never looked up.“You see, magic is not what a Magician try’s to fool you with, those are tricks. Magic comes from the daily stimuli you get from just living. Influences that can make a coward of a man turn brave in a instant if he sees himself or his family in danger. An average man turn righteous by finding the time to help a stranger in need. A desperate man stay honest when he returns a wallet he has found because he knows it is the right thing to do.”“But I am afraid Magic can also create the opposite in people who are constantly exposed to the bitter, loathing, ungrateful, greedy, and dark thoughts of an evil presence.”“Life seems so long when you are first born, but as you grow older, time will fly by quickly. If you are influenced in a negative way while you are young, life will be a torment as you grow old and you will wish it to end. If the stimuli around you is positive, you will be happy in life no matter what kind of ups and downs you go through. With the right kind of attitude, you will know deep down inside that living is an adventure that needs to be experienced!”“It is true when you hear someone say; Live life to the fullest, its a waste of your soul to let it pass you by!”I paused here to see Jerri's reaction.“Da Da, was all this a lesson on life or something?” Jerri asked“I wouldn't say that exactly.”“Can I have my present now?” She questioned me. Then she quickly reached across the kitchen table to grab the wrapped package in front of me.As she tore opened the gift, we all sang together out of tune, the first few stanzas of Happy Birthday.“These look pretty cool Grandpa. I like them.”Jerri was turning over the Rose Color Glasses, viewing them from all sides. “They look so retro with the wire rims and the rectangular glass. Thanks again Da Da.”Jerri got up from the breakfast table announcing, “I gotta go. I want to show these glasses to my boyfriend.”When she passed by her Mother, Jerri gave her a kiss on her cheek, then said, “I'll be back for supper, after little Julius's soccer game. OK? By!”She put on the glasses and ran out the door.After the bewildered look finally wore off on my daughters face, she looked at me and said thanks.“For what?” I asked. “Its not me who told her to kiss you on the cheek. It must have been the glasses!”“You think so Grandpa? Julius asked.“Now don't you worry about anything but your soccer game son.” Jerome bellowed in. “You have a birthday coming up in a couple of months. So let's see what your Grandfather has up his sleeve then. But today, we have a game to win.”With that said, Jerome and my Grandson went upstairs to dress for the game. Danielle started to clear the table of the breakfast dishes. And I rolled the rest of the sausages from the platter onto my plate!“By the way Dad,” my daughter said with a quizzical look to her. “Did you remember to take the price tag off the glasses this time?”“Sure I did.” Thinking back to the time I told this story to Danielle when she was young. “You don't think I would make that same mistake twice do you?”  EPILOGUE
3 Years Later
This is an update about Jerri and how she has changed these past few years.Since I am a bit of a story teller, who might exaggerate once in awhile to get his point across. With the outcome of this tale, the truth will do just fine.No she didn't become Mother Teresa by helping the poor because of her glasses. She did however go back to school, found a new boyfriend who is an active outdoors man, made new friends who have positive attitudes, and has a great relationship with her parents now. She is happy.You might think that I am going to tell you that those Rose Color Glasses had magic in them. But I think the real magic came from having the right kind of support from her family, her new friends, her new relationship, going back to school instead of laying around house doing nothing, and just having a positive outlook on life.Besides, I have been wearing my Rose Color Glasses for over forty-five years now and I don't see how they have made any difference with me!?
This is,Believing There Really Is Magic In The World,Jim Hauenstein,
And,  
“Thriller writers see a rose colored world through dark tinted glasses.”
- Carl Henegan - That is my story and I am sticking it! Like what you are reading?Set up my Blog as your Homepage,or Sign up as a Follower,or Leave a Comment,or a Suggestion,and I will answer you in a Post. Thanks for reading. 

Provocative Stories To Tell

Did you miss me?I am writing thisPostreally late today.It's because I was busy.I was busy applying for a joband the training class was held this morning.I'm not sure if I'll get the job,so I'll update everyone whenor if I get the job.It has been over eight beautiful years since I last had a joband its about time I get back on the horse.Strictly on a part-time basis of course.
Now wouldn't it be funny ifPlutowas once again a planet? NASA Scientists Urge For Pluto to Regain Planet Status.
on VOANews.com
"We may soon be able to once again call Pluto a planet, rather than a dwarf planet if some NASA scientists’ proposal gains traction. Pluto was called a planet from 1930 to 2006, when it was demoted because there appeared to be other bodies similar to Pluto orbiting beyond it, making Neptune the outermost planet. Pluto’s demotion angered some scientists who are still fighting for Pluto to be reinstated as a planet, including Alan Stern, the lead scientist with NASA’s New Horizon’s mission to Pluto. Stern recently submitted a proposal to the International Astronomical Union to make Pluto a full-fledged planet. In the mind of the public, the word 'planet' carries a significance lacking in other words used to describe planetary bodies, according to the proposal. In the decade following the supposed 'demotion' of Pluto by the International Astronomical Union, many members of the public, in our experience, assume that alleged 'non-planets' cease to be interesting enough to warrant scientific exploration. They also say planets should be round objects in space that are smaller than stars except for white dwarfs and neutron stars. A planet is a sub-stellar mass body that has never undergone nuclear fusion and that has sufficient self-gravitation to assume a spheroidal shape adequately described by a triaxial ellipsoid regardless of its orbital parameters, the proposal continued. It’s unclear if the IAU will rule on the proposal."


During my daily walks with one of my daughters,she likes to take photosandPostthem on herInstagram Site;introvertnature.Good news for all of you amateurPhotographers. 11 Point-and-Shoot Cameras for Every Price Range.
By Stefan Vazharov"Point-and-shoot cameras vary a great deal in terms of price, sensor size, and available features. From pro-grade options with full-frame sensors, all the way to highly pocketable budget-friendly offerings, we round up the best picks available on the market today. Point-and-shoot cameras have taken a massive leap forward in terms of features and image quality. Because they don't have the adjustability of DSLRs with interchangeable lenses, it's important to pick a model that will best suit your needs and lifestyle. If you are looking to take photos while out socializing with friends or of your restaurant meals, consider a compact camera. If you like taking nature photos, on the other hand, perhaps you should consider a superzoom camera that's slightly larger, but considerably more versatile."
 Check out the website to see which cameras they say are the best.
This is,Knowing I Will Have Some Provocative Stories To Tell Tomorrow,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
 “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.”
- Arthur C. Clarke, -
 That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you are reading?Set up my Blog as your Homepage,or Sign up as a Follower,or Leave a Comment,or a Suggestion,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.

Hoping You Have A Great Weekend

On Fridays,I like to start the weekend off with a bunch of jokes.In this way,after a boring week of workor school,I am hoping that it helps you to forget all about those tedious necessary duties,we all have to go through in life.Instead of rambling off a bunch of jokes today,since I am a story teller,I would like to tell you a funny true story.
When my third youngest daughter was about sixteen years old she asked me to take her to Ross Department Store because she needed a new bra. When we arrived, my daughter walked up to a sales clerk, and being a little embarrassed, quietly asked where the teenage bras were kept. The clerk, seeing that I was standing nearby, asked my daughter, because she thought that she was embarrassed with me standing there,
"Is this the first time you are with your Grandfather to buy a bra?"This floored my daughter.Literally.She was on the floor of the department store laughing her heart out.What do you think?I think I look young for my age.  What a handsome individual.Don't you think?
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
"A mechanic."

What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller?
“Curses! Foil again!”

I’m trying to get into classical 
music,but I can’t find any original recordings.All the music is performed by cover bands.
My wife noticed me standing on the bathroom scale,
sucking in my stomach.
“Ha­­! That’s not going to help,” she said.
“Sure, it does,” I said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”

So what if I can’t spell Armageddon?It’s not like its the end of the world!This is,Me Hoping You Have A Great Weekend,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“Be careful about reading health books. Some day you'll die of a misprint.”- Markus Herz -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you are reading?Set up my Blog as your Homepage,or Sign up as a Follower,or Leave a Comment,or a Suggestion,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.

The Man From Mars - Episode Seven

   "Are you kidding me?" Hong Xia was laughing as she asked it. "My top girls pull that kind of money in one hour of work. Why would I risk everything I have to save your skinny little ass?"
   "I'm sorry," I said. "I didn't mean to insult you. What I meant to say was, I'll give you five-hundred bucks up front and you can charge me, whatever you want, for the time I am here. You know I'm good for it."
   "First tell me why the Secret Service would be looking for you? Did you threaten the President or something?"
   I looked at Hong Xia and told her a half truth. "I'm really not sure why they would be after me?"
   "George," a frustrated Xia said. "You have to give me something more than that. I am not just thinking about myself here. I have employees to think about. Where else in this town are these girls going to get a chance to make this kind of money, while staying off the streets?"
   "Your right," I said. While looking down to the floor with my own frustration kicking in. "I shouldn't have jeopardize our friendship or your place of business by coming here."
   "Give it a rest George. That lost puppy dog act is not going to work on me." She said while shacking her head. "You know I'll help you, but you are being very vague about the whole situation. And what about my business? If the Feds come in here and crack down, they'll close the place up. Even with all the police and local Politicians being paid off by me, the Feds are a whole new different ballgame."
   "Hong Xia." I said, looking into her eyes, so she would know I wasn't lying. "Excuse the cliche, but, if I tell you the whole story, it will put you into more danger than, if you don't know a thing."
   Then I added, "You wouldn't believe me anyways, if I told you."
   "George. You are full of shit," she finally said.
   With that, Hong Xia told me to follow her to a third building in the neighborhood that I didn't know she owned. I was introduced to a young Chinese family staying at the place, then in their own language, Hong Xia told them I was to be protected at all cost.
   I knew a little Chinese, well, enough to get by anyways, and when the young man looked at me and said he would guard me with his life, I was befuddled by his response.
   I guess he was thinking about the government he grew up with, where if you trusted the wrong person, you would disappear of the face of the Earth.
   Hong Xia told him that wouldn't be necessary, but that we still needed to take every caution available to us. She didn't want immigration also coming in here taking away the young man's family, since they were not legally documented aliens.
   He shook his head yes and we moved on to the hiding place.
   As it turns out, this building was once owned by Dutch Schultz. The 1920s to 1930s era mobster. He had a secret room built under the floor, off of a staircase. It's where he planned to keep his private bottles of booze during prohibition.
   Inside the booze room, he had an escape tunnel dug, tapping into the sewer system of Queens, New York. It was a way of getting out of the place in a hurry if it got raided by the police or if a rival gang came gunning for him.
   Hong Xia explained to me, that in the end, Mister Schultz only stayed at the place one time before he was gunned down in 1935. So when it came up for sale, she jumped at it. Doing the renovations it took to re-hide the secret room properly and re-opening the tunnel to the sewer system.
   So, if the weather cooperates, and it isn't raining, filling up the sewers, this place is the perfect hideaway, getaway, for illegal aliens. Or a particular journalist who had his own strange encounter with a real alien.
   The Man from Mars.

This is,Hiding In My Secret Bunker As We Speak.Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“When did you get the idea that it would be cute to carve my dad's cell-phone number on a rock in the middle of Syrtis Major on Mars? He hates it when people call me on his phone."
- Diane Duane, -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you are reading?Set up my Blog as your Homepage,or Sign up as a Follower,or Leave a Comment,or a Suggestion,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.

All Voices Are Welcomed

I received a couple ofCommentsthis weekand I would like to say that I appreciate anytime someone takes the time to voice their opinion.If you agreeor disagree with what I have said,all your opinions are valid.Besides,if everyone agreed with everything that I have said over the years,thisWorldwould be a boring place.Can you imagine everyone thinking like me?The next thing you would see is everyone cutting their hair the same way as me.Bald.Doing the same exercises as me.Coach Potato.Looking the same as me.Fat.Dressing the same as me.Middle Nineteen-Eighties. There is only one meand I believe that is all thisWorldcan handle.On myPost;Teenage Rebellion,a wonderful person,who knows me intimatelyand myBrother DantooCommented,Anonymous February 20, 2017 at 6:20 PMDan looked so much like you. That picture is like seeing Danny! You are so handsome!! Murry Alan Yes,everyone I know has a stage name,or a nickname that I have given them.My sister will always beMurry Alanto me.
On thePost;Guest Blogger Electric Dave,someoneCommentedhow they didn't really like his point of view.Anonymous February 22, 2017 at 4:58 AMSiri, how can I un-read something?
Like I said,allCommentsare welcomedand I appreciate your opinion.Keep it up.If we don't voice our opinions,we will never be heard.And never beingHeardis a sin in my opinion!
This is,Everyone Who Knows Me,Knows,That I Always Voice My Opinions,No Matter If They Are WelcomedOr Not!Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“People can tell you to keep your mouth shut, but that doesn't stop you from having your own opinion.”
- Anne Frank -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you are reading?Set up my Blog as your Homepage,or Sign up as a Follower,or Leave a Comment,or a Suggestion,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.

Guest Blogger Electric Dave!

Since I had such a good reaction from readers whenGuest Blogger,Electric Dave,stated his point of view onPost;What Now,I welcomed the chance to repeat it.So,some more witand wisdom fromElectric Dave,also known as theProfessorsince he is one.
THE WHITE HOUSE
WASHINGTON

In the course of my duties as the incoming National Security Advisor, I held numerous phone calls with foreign counterparts, ministers, and ambassadors. These calls were to facilitate a smooth transition and begin to build the necessary relationships between the President, his advisors and foreign leaders. Such calls are standard practice in any transition of this magnitude.

Translation: Trump and Pence called me and directed me to give a shout out to Sergey [Kislyak] in order to follow up on our treasonous collusion with Vladimir Putin and the Russians to throw the election to Trump; they told me to tell Sergy to let Dimi know that any sanctions Barry levied against them for Russian hacking and meddling would be abolished as soon as we could get away with it. Hey, we do this kinda shit all the time!

Unfortunately, because of the fast pace of events, I inadvertently briefed the Vice President Elect and others with incomplete information regarding my phone calls with the Russian Ambassador. I have sincerely apologized to the President and the Vice President, and they have accepted my apology.

Translation: Unfortunately, I got caught both in treasonous acts and then lying about engaging in same. Same old, same old. Trump and Pence then threw me under the bus, nach.

Throughout my over thirty three years of honorable military service, and my tenure as the National Security Advisor, have always performed my duties with the utmost of integrity and honesty to those I have served, to include the President of the United States.

Translation: First, I am against hyphenating “thirty three.” I just am, OK? Second, even though my five minutes as being National Security Advisor is besmirched and befouled by undermining a sitting President’s orders, colluding with a foreign power to the detriment of our nation (which foreign power meddled in our election and we saw fit to reward by promising to lift sanctions against them), and then attempting to cover all this up, ya gotta believe me when I say that for the previous thirty three years, I was pure as the driven snow! Please don’t throw me in the hoosegow!

I am tendering my resignation, honored to have served our nation and the American people in such a distinguished way.

Translation: I am being forced to resign by a bunch of half-wits and knuckleheads who were stupid for not imposing martial law on day one of their reign.

I am also extremely honored to have served President Trump, who in just three weeks, has reoriented American foreign policy in fundamental ways to restore America's leadership position in the world.

Translation: It’s pretty amazing how Trump has in just three short weeks managed to fuck up such a wide array of things. I mean, he even pissed off the Aussies! He couldn’t have done worse if he were actually trying to destroy us all. Wait a sec . . . .

As I step away once again from serving my nation in this current capacity, I wish to thank President Trump for his personal loyalty, the friendship of those who I worked with throughout the hard fought campaign, the challenging period of transition, and during the early days of his presidency.

Translation: Trump has all the loyalty of a piranha and the warmth of a lamprey eel. I’ll see you in hell, Donnie.

I know with the strong leadership of President Donald J. Trump and Vice President Mike Pence and the superb team they are assembling, this team will go down in history as one of the greatest presidencies in U.S. history, and I firmly believe the American people will be well served as they all work together to help Make America Great Again.

Translation: Good luck with these two knuckleheads and the misfits, jackals, brain-eating zombies, con-men, and other assorted lunatics they’re rounding up to lead the nation down the primrose path. At this rate, the country will be circling the toilet bowl for the final plunge by this spring.



Michael T. Flynn LooneyToonGeneral (Re-Retired)
Assistant to the President / National Security Advisor (Former)
(C/o the Warden, Sing Sing Prison)

This is,Knowing Someone Who Is Molding Our Youth,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
Wisdom is not a product of schooling but of the lifelong attempt to acquire it.”
- Albert Einstein -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you are reading?Set up my Blog as your Homepage,or Sign up as a Follower,or Leave a Comment,or a Suggestion,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.
P.S. If you would like toSign Up As A Follower,you must either look at the"Web Version"of myBlogon your mobile phoneor do it from a computer.Thank you.

Someone Else Is Using My Name In The State Of California!

By order of theGreat State of California,"This Site Is Under New Management!"Unfortunately,I became theVictimof aHostile Corporate Takeover.I no longer own theExclusive Rightsor will receiveResidualsfor the name,"TwoBuckHowie."I blame myLawyer.It all comes down to money you see.Once I lost all of mine,the greedy littleSo And Sotook the highest bidder's bankroll to reveal my"Inside Story."He soldMy Storyto theTabloids,wrote anUnauthorized Biography,and even produced aTV Movie Of The Week,about my downfall!Well,I'm going to pickMyself Upby my bootstraps and create aWhole New Persona.If I did it once,how hard can it be to do it again!See you soon,Hollywood!  This is,The Real TwoBuckHowieAnd Do Not Settle For Any Substitutes!Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy.”
- Johnny Carson - That is my story and I sticking to it! Like what you are reading?Set up my Blog as your Homepage,or Sign up as a Follower,or Leave a Comment,or a Suggestion,and I will answer you in a Post. Thanks for reading.