Edward Lewellen's Blog, page 8
January 4, 2017
The Problem with Communication – Part II
In the introduction to this series of posts, The Problem with Communication – Part I, I discussed the etymology of words in the English language, a few of the processes the human brain uses when receiving information and processing it, and a recent discovery by neuroscience that reveals there are influences that are not seen, but are felt, that affect communication.
——————————————
“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” – George Bernard Shaw
When you and I share information with someone else, we make the assumption that they understand. That would be communication. As Mr. Shaw so eloquently points out, many times that belief is an illusion. Here’s a humorous, but realistic, example:
A wife asks her husband, “Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have avocados, get six.
A short time later the husband returns home with six cartons of milk.
His wife says: “Why did you buy six cartons of milk?“
He replied: “They had avocados.”
How does this difference in understanding of the same information happen? Let’s take a closer look at the human brain and mind.
You have 100 billion neurons in your brain. These neurons have the ability to make more connections than all of the particles in the universe. Your mind doesn’t like confusion, so, in an effort to avoid confusion, it will take those almost limitless number of connections and connect two things that don’t belong together. As an example, you’ve heard songs play and you can’t quite make out what the words being sung are, so, in order to resolve this confusion, you fill-in the blanks with what you think you heard, sometimes with words that make little to no sense! I wonder if you’ve ever filled-in the blanks in a conversation you were having because you weren’t quite sure what you heard? You have a small part of your brain at the Temporal-Parietal junction where Theory of Mind (ToM) exists; your beliefs about God, where you “mind-read” other people’s thoughts, and your desire for proof and validation of ideas are just a few of the things going on there. Have you ever “mind read” someone’s thoughts and been wrong? Or, have you ever rejected an idea because it didn’t meet your criteria for proof, in other words, because it didn’t fit your belief system?
There are two separate “processors” at work in your mind, the conscious and the unconscious. The conscious mind processes information at 40 bytes per second and is focused on the present, what’s happening now. The conscious mind only holds 7 facts (+/- 2) at a time.
The unconscious mind operates at a vastly faster speed and holds an almost infinite amount of information. The estimates range anywhere from 40,000,000 bytes per second (a million times faster than the conscious mind) all the way to 10 Petabytes per second. The unconscious mind is an integral part of your life. It’s what controls your bodily functions; your heart rate, breathing, body temperature, desire for food, addictions, emotions, your imagination, and so much more. It’s involved in learning. Your unconscious mind learns first and then “teaches” your conscious mind, mostly during nighttime sleep. When was the last time you consciously thought about walking, driving a car, or catching a ball? That’s your unconscious mind at work! In fact, in any of those activities, if you consciously think about them, you end up hindering the fluid motion because these have all come to be “natural”, what is called unconscious-competence. The unconscious mind is where your deep-seated beliefs are stored. Your memories are stored in your unconscious mind, as well as your ability to imagine the future, whether the future is the very next moment you see something good or bad happening, or 20 years from now. Your life experiences, your memories, and your beliefs affect how you process information. For instance, the husband in the above humorous situation heard what the filters he’s created in his conscious mind allowed through. To demonstrate just how far our experiences in life and the filters we create affect us; In just the last year, or so, neuroscience has discovered that the only memories we possess that are true to what happened are the ones we don’t remember. What?!! That’s right. The reason is that every time you remember an event or moment in time, it becomes changed and transformed through other experiences you’ve had.
There you have just a few bits of information regarding your brain and mind and how they contribute to communication, both good and poor.
In the next post, I’ll get deeper into the three ways we support our beliefs; Generalization, Deletion, and Distortion. Keep in mind that these posts are leading up to an event soon to be announced in the Dallas/Fort Worth area where I share ways to overcome what could become deficits in the communication we have with others and even with ourselves. I’ll share not only the how-to’s in overcoming communication deficits, I’ll be sharing interesting video clips and role playing exercises to help you communicate more clearly, more quickly, and more effectively.
Change your thoughts. Change your life…quickly!
Please feel free to comment and share this post!
+++++++++++++++About Dr. Edward Lewellen++++++++++++++++++++
Dr. Edward Lewellen an expert in creating methodologies for people to learn to use their mind; their beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors, and put them back in control of their lives and become top-producers. He is a Master Executive Coach, leadership and sales expert, and keynote speaker for some of the largest global organizations.
Author of The 90-Second Mind Manager
972.900.9207
Ed@Trans-Think.com
January 1, 2017
The Problem with Communication – Part I
In a post I read on Stumble.com, the writer shares The Most Commonly Misused English Words, as presented by Steve Pinker, a linguist and cognitive scientist at Harvard University. As a student of linguistics myself, I continue to find it interesting how we humans in the English-speaking world ever get anything accomplished. How can I say that? Consider the following:
According to Neuroscience, for each one of our senses, we interpolate about 70% of the information that comes into our consciousness. We “fill-in” information from previous experiences in life and add it to what is currently occurring and even to our memories so that we rarely hear, see, smell, taste, or feel things as they actually exist.
The English language has evolved over time from French, Latin, and Greek, and is still evolving. Do you remember when “bad” meant a person was doing things considered wrong? What would you think if someone said you were an Audiophile ? Or, what if someone said they were a Gastrosexual , how would that make you feel?
We generalize, distort, and delete information to support our current belief system. This has never been more identifiable to me than the Presidential Election held here in the United States in 2016. It didn’t matter which candidate people were supporting, the masses generalized, distorted, and deleted glaring facts and information about each one because they believed their candidate to be the “right one”.
Then there are other factors to include, such as, facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language. Neuroscientist V.S. Ramachandran discusses an additional factor discovered by the most recent technology used to research the human brain. He calls it “an underlying element that connects us all”. This is an invisible aura, if you will, that we emit and we “feel” before we intellectualize another person and their intent. This “feeling” is a phenomena you’ve experienced, the one where something just doesn’t seem right about a person or situation and you just can’t identify what it is. Most of the time we choose to ignore this sensation, as we’ve been taught that things like “Intuition” aren’t real, or they are only for people with “special abilities”.
Would you agree with me that it is astounding that we accomplish anything with all these factors considered? The good news is that there are ways to overcome what could be come deficits in the communication we have with others, even with ourselves. I’ll be addressing these deficits and how to overcome them in a series of posts titled, “The Problem with Communication”. These posts are leading up to an event I’ll be scheduling soon in the Dallas/Fort Worth area where I’ll share not only the how-to’s in overcoming communication deficits, I’ll be sharing interesting video clips and role playing exercises to help you communicate more clearly, more quickly, and more effectively.
Change you thoughts. Change your life…quickly!
Please feel free to comment and share this post!
+++++++++++++++About Dr. Edward Lewellen++++++++++++++++++++
Dr. Edward Lewellen an expert in creating methodologies for people to learn to use their mind; their beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors, and put them back in control of their lives and become top-producers. He is a Master Executive Coach, leadership and sales expert, and keynote speaker for some of the largest global organizations.
Author of The 90-Second Mind Manager
972.900.9207
Ed@Trans-Think.com
December 23, 2016
The Myth of the Introvert
With over three decades of working with people; first in a pastoral role, then as a Sales Leader, and now as an Executive Coach and Life Coach, I have acquired an unorthodox view of people, personalities, and the human mind.
Having spent over 15 years in the Occupational Assessment industry building, selling and implementing them, which means that I’m very familiar with labeling people as certain personality “types”, as fit for specific roles, and displaying labeled behaviors. I have come to be a heretic of the established assessment industry and here’s why; assessments tell you what a person has become, not who they are. I have story after story of clients who were labeled by doctors, assessments, and even themselves as being certain types and, after discovering that their life’s events had changed them from who they had been born as, I’ve been able to help them regain the real person they are. I want share the experience I had working with a woman that I’ll call “Jill” and illustrate what I’ve observed over and over again.
Jill was a highly paid IT executive and had worked for a few Fortune 50 companies and several smaller organizations. When I met Jill, she was in transition and engaged me to help her discover what job she should take next. At our first meeting, Jill shared that she currently had four companies who had jobs waiting for her to accept. She told me about each one and what she liked, and didn’t like, about each one. When she got to the last job, she quickly dismissed it and said she had already decided to refuse the position. I asked her to tell me more about the position, anyway. There were two major differences between this job and the other three; size of the company and level of public interaction. The first three companies were 100-500 million-dollar companies, the fourth was several billion. The first three required very little engagement with people outside the organization, the fourth required regular engagement with executives from other companies and the public. When I asked Jill to tell me why she so quickly dismissed what appeared to be the best and was the highest paying job, she told me it was because she was an Introvert. I asked her how she knew she was an Introvert. She said she had been told by behavioral assessments that she was one. I asked her how the assessments knew she was was. Of course, this elicited a look at me like, “Are you crazy?”. I explained that I have a rich background in behavioral assessments and that I was curious if she knew how they determined a person’s personality “type”. I went on to explain that the results a purely driven by the input given by the person taking them. In other words, people answer the questions by self-perception. So, I asked, “Do you think you’re an Introvert?” Her answer was, “Yes!” I asked for a few examples, which she freely shared. The next question led to an epiphany for Jill. “How do you decide to behave like an Introvert in all those settings you just described?” This took some very deep soul searching and then the stories flooded forth. You see, when Jill was young, her mother used to get her involved in various sports, dancing, music, etc. In every one of the activities Jill participated in, no matter how well she performed, Jill’s mother would berate her in front of the team, the teacher, or anyone else present. Now, the intent Jill’s mother had was to motivate her to perform better the next time. The result was that she created a person who was fearful of interacting with people. Thus, Jill began displaying the behaviors people label as being introverted.
After a few sessions with Jill removing the Mental Malware she had causing her to behave like an Introvert, she realized that the reason she had job-after-job for the last few years was because she wasn’t really an Introvert. She was living the role of which others had given her the label. Jill took the position with the multi-billion-dollar company, where she has stayed longer than any of her preceding jobs.
My experience working with thousands of people over the years is that we learn to adapt ourselves to be what others tell us we are, from the events that happen to us in life, and from choices we make. We tend to hold on to the negative thoughts, words, and events and then we generalize them into our lives hoping to protect ourselves from harm. That’s where Mental Malware takes over. Like a computer virus, it corrupts everything it touches. For instance, just because you were hurt in one relationship doesn’t mean you should generalize that hurt into all relationships. Just because mom and dad told you you were worthless and wouldn’t amount to anything doesn’t make it true. Just because you lost one job because you couldn’t meet the performance standards doesn’t mean you will never meet the performance standards at any job. Imagine what it would be like if all those negative thoughts were removed and replaced with Updated Software.
Is there such a thing as a true Introvert? Is there any person who truly fits the extremes of the labels that Society, psychology, and assessments have given them? Or, are they using self-protection mechanisms they’ve implemented to survive? My experience is the latter.
Change you thoughts. Change your life…quickly!
Please feel free to comment and share this post!
+++++++++++++++About Dr. Edward Lewellen++++++++++++++++++++
Dr. Edward Lewellen an expert in creating methodologies for people to learn to use their mind; their beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors, and put them back in control of their lives and become top-producers. He is a Master Executive Coach, leadership and sales expert, and keynote speaker for some of the largest global organizations.
Author of The 90-Second Mind Manager
972.900.9207
Ed@Trans-Think.com
December 19, 2016
Give the Gift of Lasting Change
As you’re well aware, I rarely advertise though my newsletter. This being the season for giving, I thought it was important enough to let you know that you can still give gifts that will hold much meaning for years to come, long after the other gifts have been forgotten.
So, give those you love a gift that’s truly life-changing! From today, 12/20/16, through this Friday, 12/23/16, you can buy gifts that make a difference in the way your loved ones think, look, and feel!
Here are a few examples of what your gift can do for them:
Anger Management
Stop Smoking
Weight Loss
Bullying
Marital Difficulties
Confidence
Motivation
Insomnia
Anxiety
Depression
Communication Skills
Stress Management
Grief and Loss
Domestic Violence
Being More Assertive
Sports Performance
Public Speaking
Fears and Phobias
Panic Attacks
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
Accelerated Learning
Order today to take advantage of the special offers below and your loved ones will open up the greatest holiday gift of all — the opportunity to create real, lasting change in their lives.
1 session of coaching or clinical hypnosis – $225 (10% off!)
3 sessions of coaching or clinical hypnosis – $600 (20% off!)
5 sessions of coaching or clinical hypnosis – $875 (30% off!)
10 sessions of coaching or clinical hypnosis – ONLY $1500 (40% off!)
Just imagine how 2017 can be so much different for such a small investment!
Change you thoughts. Change you mind…quickly!
Please feel free to comment and share this post!
+++++++++++++++About Dr. Edward Lewellen++++++++++++++++++++
Dr. Edward Lewellen an expert in creating methodologies for people to learn to use their mind; their beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors, and put them back in control of their lives and become top-producers. He is a Master Executive Coach, leadership and sales expert, and keynote speaker for some of the largest global organizations.
Author of The 90-Second Mind Manager
972.900.9207
Ed@Trans-Think.com
December 13, 2016
It’s December 31, 2017 – Part II
This post is in addition to my original post It’s December 31,…2017 where I shared the first three of eight items that may have contributed to not finding the happiness and satisfaction you thought you would have by the end of 2016.
#4 Create Your Path to Success
Many people say they want to achieve their definition of success and they aren’t willing to do the required work to make it real. What this tell me is they don’t believe that their dream or their goal is possible. You can tell how much a person believes in what they’re doing by the amount of focused action they put into achieving it. So, if you’re going to find yourself in a different place and state at the end of 2017 than where you are now, then you must be willing to:
Be absolutely committed to achieving your goal
Flood forth focused action
Be aware of more than what is working by being aware of what isn’t working and making changes. Which brings me to the last point:
Be flexible. Let go of the should’s, shouldn’ts, musts, mustn’ts, need to’s, have to’s and supposed to’s. Those are limiting beliefs that will only hold you back. Just because something was “supposed to” have worked doesn’t mean it will. Be creative and resourceful in finding better ways.\
This goes a long way in making 2017 everything you want it to become!
#5 Learn to only accept the best
Set a “line in the sand” of what you’ll accept from yourself each day, whether that be in sales, in appointments, in relationships, etc.
Set a “line in the sand” of what you won’t accept from yourself and others. Take pricing as an example. How many entrepreneurs or solopreneurs find themselves accepting less than the value of their product or service just to make a sale. Unfortunately, once you allow that line to be crossed, it becomes ever harder to get the real value you should be getting. Which means you’ll be getting less than you deserve, which means you’ll have a repeat of 2016.
#6 Let the “Little Things” Go
The “little things” are easier to focus on, but, wouldn’t you agree that they’re time-thieves? Stay focused on BIG things that really matter. Think BIG. Act BIG. And, you’ll notice BIG things happening in your life! Like a BIGGER 2017!
#7 You Already Know What to Do
At the very least, at the unconscious level, you know what to do. I find this to be true in every client I have ever worked with. The unconscious is at least a million times more powerful that the conscious. The unconscious is where all your potential and possibilities are held…and, they need to be released. When they are, it’s like a rocket being launched off the launching pad!!! Powerful things happen! Sadly, most people lack the process and know-how to bring the answers and resources from their unconscious mind into their conscious thoughts and awareness.
Knowledge + Action = SUCCESS!!!
# 8 Model Successful People
Find a coach who knows how to help you. If you really want 2017 to be everything you dream, hope, and set goals for, then you can’t afford not to! Here’s why:
Save time and money with clarity
Save time and money by avoiding mistakes
Save time and money following a successful strategy
When you research all of the top business people, athletes, musicians; basically anyone who is at the top of their field, you will find they have a coach. This is an investment into your future!
So, imagine it. Here we are, you and I, and we’re speaking 12 months from now, what would have to happen for you to be completely happy and satisfied with the results from the year?
Change you thoughts. Change your life…quickly!
Please feel free to comment and share this post!
+++++++++++++++About Dr. Edward Lewellen++++++++++++++++++++
Dr. Edward Lewellen an expert in creating methodologies for people to learn to use their mind; their beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors, and put them back in control of their lives and become top-producers. He is a Master Executive Coach, leadership and sales expert, and keynote speaker for some of the largest global organizations.
Author of The 90-Second Mind Manager
972.900.9207
Ed@Trans-Think.com
December 12, 2016
“Imagine that It’s December 31,2017”
Yes, 12/31/2017!
Imagine it. Here we are, you and I, and we’re speaking 12 months from now, what would have to happen for you to be completely happy and satisfied with the results from the year?
Many people are already looking back at 2016 and wondering, “What happened?” They had so many plans, so many dreams, so many goals. Yet, they didn’t materialize. How could that have happened? Here are eight possibilities:
#1 – Do you know who you are…really?
That may seem like an odd question and here’s what I have experienced working with thousands of people over the last three decades; people get so wrapped up living in the roles they play in life that they forget who they are in their Core Identity. As one famous self-help guru says, humans have six intrinsic needs and two of those are the need for variety and stability at the same time. How can those needs coexist? The roles we play are very fluid and need constant variety. Our Core Identity needs stability and to know it’s solid. Let me share an example. Many women who are mothers and business professionals tell me that being a mother is part of their Core Identity. It isn’t and here’s how I know; think about a child’s needs and behaviors when they are a newborn. Now think about their needs and behaviors at 2-years-old, 10-years-old, 15-years-old, and beyond. If their needs and behaviors were the same at fifteen as they were at two, something would be wrong. And, while the child is changing and growing, so must the role of the mother. The role is fluid and ever-changing. However, the Core Identity needs stability. When the mother and business professional knows that she’s loving, fun, kind, and energetic, then these will remain constants across the changes in the child’s needs and behaviors and across all the roles she plays. The problem arrives when a person attempts to live their life trying to fulfill roles that are fluid. Why? Because of the fact that roles are ever-changing. Trying to find fulfillment and satisfaction in roles is like playing a game of Whack-A-Mole. You’ll be constantly hitting air. However, when a person knows who they are in their Core Identity, the stable part, then they can find constant happiness and satisfaction. Has living in your roles caused you to miss your goals for 2016?
#2 The power of focus.
At any given moment, you have 2 terabytes of information coming in. You can only process 11 megabytes of that information. That’s 5%. Where you choose to focus that 5% is critical. What’s contained in the 95% that’s being ignored is also important. Yet, most people easily have their attention drawn away and refocused on whatever someone else wants them to focus. In fact, the human mind is built to look for “What’s next?” as part of survival. Just think about that piece of jewelry you put on this morning. When you first put it on you felt it on your neck, finger, wrist, arm, etc. After a brief amount of time you didn’t sense it, unless it moved or your focus was drawn to it, just like I just did right now. Let’s take a look at one example of how our attention is easily captured and focused. Take a look at the following two lists of words and decipher the last word in each list:
Bread, vegetables, meat, so_p
Water, clean, bath, so_p
You probably deduced that the word in the first list is “soup”. The word in the second list is “soap”. You arrived at those conclusions because of the associations on which you were focusing. These are examples of “Priming”. Others use Priming to get you to think the same way as they do. Just think about the last time you attended a training, a conference, or a sales meeting and the purpose was to influence you to buy something expensive. The venue was chosen for its elegance. The food, decorations, and attire were chosen to give an air of luxury and indulgence. On the other hand, if someone wants to influence you to be sparing and frugal, they will choose a venue of the opposite.
Although it’s important to know others can use Priming to influence you and where you choose to place your focus, it’s even more important to know that you can use Priming to ensure you stay focused within your values and belief system…or…you can change those when you find they have become irrelevant to a set of circumstances or entirely obsolete.
Has a lack of clear focus of your attention contributed to not achieving all you wanted in 2016?
#3 – Your Destiny is Decided by Your Decisions
“Things are as they should be at this moment. When you accept that, you become responsible for everything you have and are. You then hold the power to change your future” – Edward Lewellen
Quantum Physics’ most proven mathematical formula states that you are not where you are now because of your past. You are where you are because of where you’re intending to go in the future. So, stating it more accurately, your destiny is decided by the decisions you make today and tomorrow. This is a true paradigm shift because most people want to blame their current state on their past decisions. Now, consider what 2017 holds for you based on your intention and the decisions you’re making now. Will you produce results that will make you completely happy and satisfied?
There are three of the eight possibilities of how your 2016 results didn’t bring you the happiness, satisfaction, or results you wanted. I’ll write a second post with the remaining five areas for you to ponder before 2017 arrives. In the meantime, if you have questions about making real and significant change to your life and business, please contact me. Before you decide it’s not time to connect with me now, let me assure you, I don’t offer more of the same.
If you have any questions about this, or other topics, such as Leadership and Sales, please contact me.
Change you thoughts. Change your life…quickly!
Please feel free to comment and share this post!
+++++++++++++++About Dr. Edward Lewellen++++++++++++++++++++
Dr. Edward Lewellen an expert in creating methodologies for people to learn to use their mind; their beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors, and put them back in control of their lives and become top-producers. He is a Master Executive Coach, leadership and sales expert, and keynote speaker for some of the largest global organizations.
Author of The 90-Second Mind Manager
972.900.9207
Ed@Trans-Think.com
December 1, 2016
How Procrastination Affects Your Sales – 2
This is the last in a three-part series on “Procrastination”. See There is No Such Thing as Procrastination and How Procrastination Affects Your Sales
In this post I’m focusing on: How You’re Causing Your Prospects to Procrastinate
Now, that might be an odd thing to say because, who would cause their prospects to delay in making a decision? If you read the prior two posts on “Procrastination”, you already know people don’t really procrastinate. Their subconscious mind is weighing out how much energy is going to be used for the options with which it has been presented. The more energy that your mind will be required to expend on a particular option, the less likely you will unconsciously be willing to act on it. The more complex the issue is, the more data that must be processed, the more new information being brought into the picture, the less likely a prospect will act on what is being presented and will choose a less energy-robbing activity. Here are some examples:
Options
Most salespeople either are taught, or have somehow come to believe, that more is better when it comes to options. They believe that if they have enough options available that there will be at least one that will match their buyer’s needs and wants. The truth is, when too many options are presented your buyer will choose the option of “I need to think about it”. As a salesperson, you may think the buyer is stalling or they don’t have enough information. So, what do you do? You talk faster and give them even more information, thinking this will help. It doesn’t. It creates what is called a Paradoxical Reaction, meaning, it creates a reaction the opposite of what you intend. Just think of when you shop on websites like Amazon and Alibaba. You search an item and several hundred, maybe even several thousand, options display. You have page after page to search through, even after filtering by price, ratings, etc. So, you either close your eyes and point at an item to purchase it, or you decide to “think about it”. This is how your prospects can be feeling; overwhelmed with information and choices.
Before I get into how to minimize and avoid creating opportunities for your potential customer to delay making a decision, I want to address two of the major industries in which I’ve helped salespeople be successful; Financial Services and Real Estate. These two industries have similar challenges. Within each option they can offer their clients, the options have options to choose from. In Financial Services, when a customer is offered a type of investment or insurance, there are multiple choices to make within each type. In Real Estate, each home has a plethora of pros and cons, based on the likes and dislikes of the buyer(s). In both industries, it is imperative to narrow the options down as quickly as can be accomplished and still fulfill the needs of the customer. In most industries, I tell salespeople to narrow the options down to three. In Financial Services and Real Estate, I recommend getting the options down to two, if possible. The reason is what I shared earlier, within these two options there will be many other options to choose.
So, how do you minimize, or eliminate, your potential client from delaying making a decision? As I’ve just stated, it’s by minimizing their choices. When a salesperson takes the time to fully understand the wants, needs, goals, and values of their customers, the time spent upfront doing so will pay huge dividends by allowing the salesperson to recommend the right products or services for their customer to choose from. So, rather than having a huge number of options to narrow down, the salesperson has just a few, which means they can get the options down to the last 2 – 3 rather quickly and precisely. Then, because the customer has conserved their mental, physical, and emotional energy up to this point, they still have a reserve to expend on making the final decision.
Too Much Information
Because of the very nature of the position, sales attracts people who usually like to engage others in conversation and relationships. They like to be the center of attention and perceived as the “expert”. This can be a good thing. It becomes a negative when the salesperson lets those things become more important than the customer and their needs. You see, being the “expert” to many people means being able to spout off all the great things about their product/service, their company’s history, their own background, the success stories of current customers, etc. Don’t get me wrong, these are necessary to some degree. And, the way to determine if the right degree of sharing of information has been exceeded is to observe the customer’s body language and demeanor. If your prospect’s eyes gloss over, if they begin to yawn, if they are looking at their watch or the clock, if they point their legs toward the door, these and other behaviors are signals that they want to get away from you. You’ve exhausted their mental energy, their emotional energy is transitioning from positive to negative, and their physical energy is waning. I would be willing to bet money that a prospect displaying these signs will not only delay in making a decision, they won’t buy from you…ever. It’s like the old saying, “(People) may forget what you said — but they will never forget how you made them feel. (Carl W. Buehner)
So, be observant of your prospect’s behaviors and body language. You don’t have to get into a deep study on those topics, you just have to care enough about them to pay attention. We all have an intuition that sets off alarms when we’ve lost the attention of the person with whom we’re speaking.
Set your ego aside. It may make you feel good to be the “expert” and espouse a wealth of information and tell story after story, but, what do you want? A big ego? Or, a big bank account?
If you have any questions about procrastination, or other topics on Leadership and Sales, please contact me.
Change you thoughts. Change your life…quickly!
Please feel free to comment and share this post!
+++++++++++++++About Dr. Edward Lewellen++++++++++++++++++++
Dr. Edward Lewellen an expert in creating methodologies for people to learn to use their mind; their beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors, and put them back in control of their lives and become top-producers. He is a Master Executive Coach, leadership and sales expert, and keynote speaker for some of the largest global organizations.
Author of The 90-Second Mind Manager
972.900.9207
Ed@Trans-Think.com
November 18, 2016
How Procrastination Affects Your Sales
If you read my recent article There is No Such Thing as Procrastination then you know that it really doesn’t exist. The behaviors that have been labeled as “Procrastination” are really the human mind’s way of conserving precious energy. It’s called Ego Depletion. If you’re in sales, then understanding how procrastination, Ego Depletion, and delaying action or decisions is important. Isn’t that fair to say? I’m going to address this subject from two standpoints; 1) Your activities as the salesperson, and 2) How to help your prospect when they delay in activities or decisions. As you consider these, you realize this important information could significantly change your ability to sell and sell more, don’t you?
Procrastination and your sales activities
Imagine that you’ve just woken up and you’re getting ready to start your work day. You’re having your first cup of coffee while you ready your eggs and bacon. You open up your phone and start reviewing your emails that have come through since you checked it last night. There’s an email from your boss asking why you haven’t updated your Salesforce data in the last week, three emails from new clients who are less-than-happy about your product or services, and an email from your sister whom you always dread to hear from. What do you do? You close down your email, open up Facebook and start looking for the most entertaining videos and messages from friends you can find. Procrastination? No, it’s your mind’s way of conserving energy. But, if you read my previous posy, you already know that. More importantly, then, is how do you change this cycle of delay and avoidance so that you become more productive in your profession in sales?
Before I give the answer, I want you to focus back on your internal dialog as you glanced at each of the emails I mentioned. Notice the words you used; words like, “Oh no!”, “I knew I shouldn’t have sold to that person”, “Why does my boss always have to micro-manage me?”, and others that form a negative experience. Beyond the internal dialog, now notice the feelings in your mind and body. Do you sense the stress and how it compounds as you read each email? Do I need to go on? Probably not, since everyone in sales has had this experience and usually more than once. We even many times ask the question, “Why does all of this have to happen at once?”, which increases the stress level even more. It’s like a circular motion that keeps spinning faster and faster making us feel helpless. So, how do you change this cycle of delay and avoidance and stop feeling like a Victim? By using the same technique you used to create it. Yes, you created the stress and desire to avoid acting with your mind and you can create a better experience using your mind, as well. You can start by breaking the thought pattern that’s happening by closing your eyes and imagining the direction the stress is moving. For most people, the stress moves from the stomach up the body through the brain and circles back to the stomach. Next, give it the color RED. Now, clap your hands together and say loudly “STOP!”. The effect this has on the human mind is to create a break in the thought pattern long enough to change it. Now, immediately change the color of the red stress cycle to a soothing blue color, reverse it, and s-l-o-w it down. This takes a huge amount of the stress away, maybe even all of it. With the stress reduced, you can now get a new perspective and have more energy available for positive action. That email from your boss, well, you realize they aren’t micro-managing you, they are asking you to do what is required of all the salespeople to help them forecast sales for their boss. The email from your sister you always dread interacting with, well, you remember she has some difficult circumstances she’s dealing with every day, so you have an opportunity to help her. And those emails from what you thought were irate customers, you read them again and understand that there are easy fixes for each of them, except that one, and it’s just going to require a fact-finding phone call.
Now that you are back in control of your thoughts and feelings, you can make intelligent, thoughtful, choices on what, how and when you will act. Remember, a mind that chooses to think, act, and behave is a powerful, strong and bold Champion, no longer a Victim!
I’ll write another post about how to help your prospect when they delay in activities or decisions, so be on the lookout for it in the near future!
Change you thoughts. Change your life…quickly!
Please feel free to comment and share this post!
+++++++++++++++About Dr. Edward Lewellen++++++++++++++++++++
Dr. Edward Lewellen an expert in creating methodologies for people to learn to use their mind; their beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors, and put them back in control of their lives and become top-producers. He is a Master Executive Coach, leadership and sales expert, and keynote speaker for some of the largest global organizations.
Author of The 90-Second Mind Manager
972.900.9207
Ed@Trans-Think.com
There is No Such Thing as Procrastination
For whatever reason, I’ve recently been noticing the Self-Development gurus have been writing about procrastination. Maybe it’s because we’re getting close to the end of the year and they want to remind people of all the things they wanted to do at the beginning of the year and haven’t done them. Maybe it’s because they have a course they want people to take to “cure” them of procrastination. Whatever the reason, it’s being brought to top-of-mind for millions of people. Here’s the interesting thing, procrastination doesn’t exist, at least in the way most people understand it. You see, procrastination is described as ” the act or habit of procrastinating, or putting off or delaying, especially something requiring immediate attention”. This definition explicitly puts the act of delaying into the realm of habit or intentionally making the decision to delay. What most people don’t understand is how the human brain is designed.
How the human mind works
The human brain makes up about 5% of a person’s body mass and it uses 25%+ of the total energy resources of a person. The brain is an energy hog. So, in order to conserve energy, the mind makes unconscious decisions as to what it is willing to expend energy. If it has the choice to think about something that’s difficult and will take a large amount of energy or something that it’s easy and requires little energy, it unconsciously and automatically goes to the the easier subject. This is why you find yourself dwindling time away on Social Media even when you know that important project is due tomorrow. The psychological name for this is Ego Depletion, not procrastination. The reason you automatically go for sugary, sweet carbohydrates when you’re stressed thinking about a difficult topic is because your brain wants the glucose to feed on and restore the energy level quickly.
So, what can a person do to avoid Ego Depletion and automatically going for the easier, less energy-robbing tasks? The first thing to do is relax so that you use less energy from anxiety and worry. The next thing is to stop labeling yourself as a Procrastinator. When you label yourself as something, then you identify with the behaviors associated with being that thing, which means you feel the need to have the behaviors associated with it because you are that. Third, pay attention to your internal dialog. When you use words like should, shouldn’t, must, mustn’t, need to, have to, and supposed to, you create a victim mentality. You feel out of control. Instead, use the words, “I choose to…” When the human mind chooses to do something, then it is in control. Try it and notice the difference when you choose to do something instead of feeling forced to so it.
Yes, procrastination doesn’t really exist. It’s a name people have given to behaviors. What they don’t understand is that the power to control the delaying of difficult tasks is within the mind, itself.
Change you thoughts. Change your life…quickly!
Please feel free to comment and share this post!
+++++++++++++++About Dr. Edward Lewellen++++++++++++++++++++
Dr. Edward Lewellen an expert in creating methodologies for people to learn to use their mind; their beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors, and put them back in control of their lives and become top-producers. He is a Master Executive Coach, leadership and sales expert, and keynote speaker for some of the largest global organizations.
Author of The 90-Second Mind Manager
972.900.9207
Ed@Trans-Think.com