Scott Burtness's Blog: Scott's Thoughts, page 2

Available Now! The Complete Misadventures of August Shade

The omnibus edition of The Misadventures of a Paranormal Post-Relationship Personal Effects Repossession Specialist is available now!

The Complete Misadventures of August Shade includes all three books from the trilogy:

An Oracle Walks into a BarA Scarecrow Wins an AwardA Siren Sings Her Heart Out

Enjoy!

Monsters in the Midwest short story collection available for preorder!

>>> NEW BOOK ALERT!! <<<

Monster Bites is a short story collection set in the same world as Wisconsin Vamp, Northwoods Wolfman, and Undead Cheesehead.

It’s available for preorder now!
(release date March 1st).

Two of the stories (Lane Thirty, The Potluck) were originally published in anthologies some years back. The third (Bjorn Again) was published as a stand-alone. I recently wrote a new story in that world (The Meat Raffle) and decided it would be fun to bring those Monsters in the Midwest stories together into one collection.

Hope you enjoy it!

***

Björn Again: A tongue-tied witch gets an unexpected surprise when a magical bear appears instead of a magical boy. Since one unexpected surprise is never enough, her sister and little niece, Lois, show up unannounced. Now Helga is getting an earful from her sister, Lois is running around in the woods with a spell spawned bear, and that bear is getting hungry.

Lane Thirty: It’s a quiet night at Bay City Bowlers, and it couldn’t have happened at a worse time. It’s the first new moon of winter, and Slow Johnson needs someone to bowl on lane thirty. An undesirable type. The kind of person no one would miss, like a Vikings fan or someone who’s lactose intolerant. Unfortunately, the only person who comes in is a sweet kid. Now time is running out, and Johnson has to make the hardest decision of his life.

The Potluck: It’s Winter Solstice, and all manner of monsters are having their annual potluck deep in the Wisconsin woods. Melvin the trollgre wants to help out, he really does… but Melvin is a vegetarian.

The Meat Raffle: Jeffrey is hosting the biggest meat raffle in the Midwest. He’s been plugging the big event for weeks, and the bar is fit to burst. There’s just one problem… That meat he ordered hasn’t been delivered. As the big raffle draws near, Jeffrey decides he’s not cut out for any of this. Or is he…?

Hear, Hear!!

An Oracle Walks into a Bar is now available as an audiobook!

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CSZC3816

Wisconsin Vamp Turns 10 Years Old!!! Happy Birthday, Herb.

Wisconsin Vamp turned 10 YEARS OLD on Sunday, January 14th, 2024!!!

I shared the origins of my very first book in my Paranomedy Pint newsletter. You can check it out here.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HERB!!!

Omnibus Available for Preorder!

Welp, it’s about that time.

Time for me to release an omnibus edition of The Misadventures of a Paranormal Post-Relationship Personal Effects Repossession Specialist!

That’s right! All three books in one convenient package:

An Oracle Walks into a BarA Scarecrow Wins an AwardA Siren Sings Her Heart Out

Just think of all the time you’ll save by not having to close one book and open another! You’re welcome.

The Complete Misadventures of August Shade is available to pre-order now for just $0.99.

The ebook will be released on February 1st, 2024. A paperback edition will be available shortly thereafter.

A Very Particular Moment

I’ve been at this moment exactly three times before in the past decade.

That moment when I’ve finished a book and I’m starting a new one.

It’s a weird place to be. Scary, yes. Unnerving as hell. Constant thoughts of, “What if the well is dry?” and, “What if the next book sucks?” and, “What if climate change causes super storms that wipe out civilization before I can finish the series?” swirl around my brain like chunks of ice in the margarita blender.

But there’s also hope. Excitement. A giddy feeling that’s not unlike what you experience when you let your weight shift forward when you’re bungee jumping.

All in all, it’s a weird moment to be in.

There are generally two types of writers: pantsers and plotters.

The plotters are folks that think about the plot first. They map out the story and character arcs. They have lots of notes and bulleted lists. They understand the story stem to stern before they begin to write in earnest.

Pantsers are the ones that “write by the seat of their pants.” They wander into the forest without a map, crawl into the cave without a flashlight. The pantser discovers moments and characters and even entire worlds along the way. Later, they go back and try to make sense of it all. Later, they go back and think about plot.

I’m more of a pantser. I do a little plotting. I have the kernel of a story, a couple of characters loosely imagined, a moment or two that I think would be important. Beyond that, though, I dive into first drafts with very little planning.

I wonder sometimes about plotters versus pantsers, and how each feel at this moment. The moment when they’ve finished one book and are about to start another. Do plotters have that insane mix of hope and terror, or do their more logical and organized brains give them some protection? Do other pantsers just dive into that next book with nary a care, or do they also fear that this time they’ll get lost in that forest or stuck in that cave?

I suppose it’s a little different for everyone, and also much the same. All I know for certain is that I’m in that moment again, a moment I’ve only been in three times before, and I am frickin’ loving it. The fear. The excitement. All of it.

It’s a moment I hope I get to experience many more times in my life, and one I hope I never get used to.

My Favorite Kid

Last night, I put the final edits into the new book. Today, I’ll upload the book to Amazon. Release date is Wednesday 7/13.

This is my fifth book, and it’s my favorite. I don’t have kids, but my friends that do talk about how they have a favorite kid. Like, they love them all, but… one more than the others.

Welp, A Scarecrow Wins an Award is my favorite. I love all my books. I just like this one more.

Why?

It’s hard to explain, but I’ve felt more like an author, a professional writer, working on this one than any other.

My Monsters in the Midwest trilogy was fun, but 100% hobby. Each book took ~18 months to write. I didn’t have any sort of plan in place. I just wrote, then eventually released a book. By comparison, Scarecrow took about six months.

What changed?

Well, I was more disciplined in my writing. I did more plotting. I wrote daily—often morning and night—and I set and smashed daily word count goals.

I also invested in myself as an author. I bought new book formatting software and redid my earlier books. The new look and feel is great!

***

Psst- if you want to get the most up-to-date version of a book on your Kindle,

Go to Manage Your Content and Devices (https://www.amazon.com/mycd).Search for your Kindle book. If available, select Update Available, then select Update.

To receive automatic book updates as they become available from the publisher or author, enable Automatic Book Update on the Preferences tab in Manage Your Content and Devices (https://www.amazon.com/mycd).

***

I’ve also been investing in my books. For years, I never ran ads. The occasional promo, sure, but never ads. I changed that at the beginning of the year, and it’s helped a ton.

I even have a newsletter now. I resisted writing one for years! Why? I couldn’t say. But now, The Paranomedy Pint has been running for 9 months. It’s been fun to write, and my subscriber list has been steadily growing.

I also registered for my first-ever indie author business conference. I’ll be in Las Vegas for a solid week attending panels and workshops on craft and running an indie author business.

Added up, I feel like I have grown more as an author in the past six months than the prior eight years. And that is a damned good feeling.

So yeah. I’m really proud of A Scarecrow Wins an Award. It really is my favorite kid.

At least until I write the next book.

If you haven’t preordered it yet, you can reserve your copy here-

A Scarecrow Wins an Award

New Book FAQs!

The Misadventures of a Paranormal Post-Relationship Personal Effects Repossession Specialist, Book Two will be released soon!

I’ll bet you have questions. Lots of questions. Because why wouldn’t you, right? Since you have so many questions, I’ve prepared a handy dandy FAQ.

If you have questions that aren’t included, send me a note! I’m happy to answer. I can’t guarantee quality – or even truthful – answers, but you’ll at least have answers!

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS!

(at least, I think so…)

Q: Is it done yet?
A: Almost!

Q:When can I see the cover?
A: I’m doing a COVER REVEAL next week. Newsletter subscribers will get the first look!

Q: When will it be out?
A: I’m planning to release on July 15th. Maybe sooner.

Q: Will I be able to preorder it?
A: YES! The cover reveal will also include a link to preorder.

Q: Why should I preorder?
A: To save $$$. The preorder price will be $0.99. After the book launches, it will be $3.99. Preorder, and you’ll save three bucks for more important stuff, like beer!

Q: Will there be an audiobook version?
A: Not yet. Once book three of the series is done, I’ll start working on the audiobooks.

Q: What was that about a cover reveal?
A: It’s happening next week! If you haven’t already, sign up for my newsletter and you’ll be the first to see it!

SIGN UP FOR MY MONTHLY NEWSLETTER
“THE PARANOMEDY PINT”
(and get a FREE short story!)

subscribe here

What’s With All the Beer, Scott?

You may have noticed a theme with me and my writing: Beer.

In my profile picture, my face is mostly obscured by a great big pint of beery goodness. My monthly newsletter has a section dedicated to what I’m drinking (spoiler: it’s usually beer). My characters spend an inordinate amount of time drinking beer. Half the GIFs I use on Twitter are beer-themed. When I share a writing update, it’s usually with a picture of my laptop and a beer. I even ran an event for local authors called… wait for it… The Books and Beer Pop-up Bookstore. I’d round up 12-15 authors and we’d sell our books at a brewery for a day.

This may leave you wondering why exactly I’m so hung up on beer, and possibly how my liver is doing.

Honestly, if it weren’t for beer, those book I wrote (and you hopefully enjoyed) likely wouldn’t have been written. I do most of my writing at bars and breweries. Well, my afternoon/evening writing. Morning writing is at cafes and is fueled exclusively by coffee. I mean, come on. Beer in the morning? I’m not that guy. Usually not that guy. Hardly ever. Um, let’s move on.

Back to me, beer, and writing.

I like beer. That wasn’t always the case, though. Back in my college days in the mid-90s, ‘beer’ in Minnesota consisted mainly of the big name American light pilsners: Bud Light. Miller Light. Coors Light. If mainstream wasn’t your thing, you could get locally brewed pilsners like Hamm’s and Pig’s Eye. If you were a fancy-pants beer snob, you’d likely order an Amstel Light and look down your bottle at the plebian swine that settled for an American light beer when they could have ordered a light beer from, um. You know. Wherever Amstel is from. The point is that most of the beer around me when I was in my early drinking years was light light light beer, and I wasn’t a fan. I had decided that beer and me were not going to be friends, and that was that.

Until I tried a Newcastle Brown Ale.

When I realized beer could be more than Bud Light, something shifted deep inside me. No, not my liver, although it probably was cringing a bit at what was to come. It was more of an awakening to a wider world. A realization that maybe there was more out there than my little corner of the globe. I’m not going to go so far as to say that drinking a Newcastle resulted in me leaving my hometown of Minneapolis, MN and heading first to Chicago, IL in 1998 and then to Los Angeles, CA in 2003. But maybe it did. One sip—figurative or literal—of something new can shift the entire trajectory of your life.

In Chicago, I discovered a passion for storytelling. I started acting and even did a little directing. I was awful at both, but I loved the impact a well-told story could have on people. When I landed in L.A., I took a stab at writing a screenplay. I never finished it… as a screenplay… and if I’d stayed in L.A., that might’ve been the end of it. Once again, though, beer changed my life.

When I moved back to Minnesota in 2009, something unexpected was happening. It turns out that the reason why Minnesota had so few beery options was because of a bunch of prohibition-era laws. Those laws made it basically impossible for small brewers to succeed. The biggest hurdle was that you couldn’t sell your beer on premise. You could brew for distribution, but that was it. That meant you had to move enough beer through distribution to turn a profit. No easy task, especially for a new brewery. I won’t get into all the details, but in a nutshell, Surly Brewing was about to change that. The founder successfully advocated for a change to the laws, and the ensuing Surly Bill in 2011 opened the door for breweries to sell their own beer at their establishments. The craft beer taproom explosion started. All over town, entrepreneurial beer enthusiasts were setting up breweries and opening cool taprooms. Unlike the bars of my younger days—usually windowless piles of cinder blocks with drop ceilings and sticky carpet—destination breweries were becoming a thing. These weren’t simply places to drink, brood, and maybe blow fifty bucks cracking some pull tabs. These were hubs for the community. Kids were welcome. Dogs were welcome. They were lively and open and interesting and fun.

And the beer was amazing.

I started to frequent a few close-to-home breweries, and loved it. The people, the energy, and yes, the beer, was having an effect on me. That yearning inside of me to create and to share what I’d created was fermenting. I’m not sure what beer I was drinking when it happened, but I had an epiphany: that screenplay I’d started could become a novel. I gathered up my notes, grabbed a laptop, headed to a taproom, and started to write. Wisconsin Vamp was finished in early 2014, and I became a writer.

Now, I can’t imagine writing anywhere else. There is something indescribably satisfying about heading to the local brewery, ordering a pint, and exploring all the worlds inside my head.

So, that’s what’s with the beer. Cheers!

PS – Just checked in with my liver. So far, so good!

TikTok Isn’t Ready for This

Yup. I’m on TikTok now.

No, you’re cheugy!