K.C. Cave's Blog, page 9

Writing erotica

Since I got on Goodreads and have had to look back at what I've read most recently, I noticed that one of the biggest influences leading me to erotica as a genre (and to write it) are a pair of books by Fiona Locke: Over the Knee and On the Bare, very British spanking books that blew me away by their writing quality and sexual heat. I can't even remember how I came across them, other than I got them on Amazon. I've reread them and they hold up very well.

My latest book, Ravished by the Trooper, includes a lot of spanking, dubious consent, and restraint (handcuffs, since the protagonist is a lesbian cop). So maybe I'm headed in the BDSM direction.

I've always enjoyed sex (duh)and I enjoy spanking (mostly on the receiving end, although torturing a lover has its own rewards). I'm into mild restraint (ankles and wrists to the bed) and love exploring how the tension created by restraint amplifies sexual arousal---the pulling, the tugging, the surrender. Ditto on spanking. I'm extremely responsive to pain on my buttocks, but only to the point where welts appear (I've got a day job, I've got to sit all day!).

I haven't orgasmed from a spanking (does anyone?), but I get extremely aroused. The result of a hard spanking is just like my vulva has been physically explored by fingers or tongue--I get very swollen and wet. My nipples are next in line in the degree of arousal from smacking, but I can only tolerate a light lashing. No clothes pins (yet)! I also get off by having my labia and clit struck lightly with a riding crop (I've tried doing it to myself and just doesn't work well). Short and sharp! Then some teasing.

I'm also enthralled by outdoor, public sex. Not exhibitionism, but the thrill of taking off my clothes, having sex (alone or with a lover) and risking discovery. I know it goes back to my childhood. A constant in my suburban girlhood was going into the woods with friends (always girls), taking off all our clothes and having mild sex play (we didn't even know how to masturbate--we'd compare body parts, finger each other and other silliness). Or go to a girlfriend's bedroom and masturbate (this came later!) with the risk that a parent might come in unexpectedly (and it happened once!). The danger and thrill of being discovered (which I've explored in my erotica) is a major turn-on. That childhood sex play in the woods (where I learned how much fun it is to shed one's clothes with another person, to feel the air and the sun on your genitals and body, and even rub my breasts, behind and pussy against the bark of a tree) is also the reason I'm a nudist--I'd never wear clothes if I didn't have to. It's not always sexual, but it's always sensual. I occasionally visit formal nudist resorts, but mostly my nudism is around the house, in the yard (at night; again, no exhibitionism) and in the woods (hiking, camping, backpacking). I guess this isn't BDSM. Is it even a kink? One thing's for sure--I wish I lived in Europe or someplace where nudism is acceptable.

Ravished by the Trooper reviewed

E-Read Erotic Reviews posted a review of my erotic short story, Ravished by the Trooper (http://ereaderotica.com/). Overall it's a good review. Here's the opening graf:

"Well, let’s take a trip into uniform-play today with Ravished By The Trooper, by KC Cave. This is a fun little book where a couple takes a bike trip for some sex under the blue sky, and they are discovered by a sexy female trooper who has ideas of her own on ‘busting’ them. It’s a sexy bit of uniform fetish and an interesting lighthearted fantasy take on the subject. It is refreshingly non-violent and a bit playful, normally in a ‘ravished’ book it would tend to be a more serious affair with a forceful and semi-threatening air to the affair. Here, it is more lighthearted with some playful name-calling, restraint, and spanking, with nothing that really made me feel uncomfortable. It’s also a respectful treatment of this style fantasy, so points awarded there."

Not exactly 5 star. But the reviewer liked it overall and her suggestions to make it better are on target. It will definitely help me as I continue to grow as a writer of erotica. I'm psyched!

A good editor is hard to find

... especially if you write erotica.I want to share with other beginning erotica authors a good experience I had with erotica writer/editor Rachel Kramer Bussel. Rachel is probably best known for her "Lusty Lady" sex column in the Village Voice and her "Best of" erotic anthologies published by Cleis Press. I've been reading them for years; they're always collections of very high quality erotic short stories. She always includes one of her own stories in each book.

Rachel went over my 15,000-word manuscript very thoroughly, making many suggestions (word choices, pointing out areas I need to expand, cutting stuff that wasn't needed, and the occasional "I really like that paragraph!" which is great for the ego). It's a much stronger book as a result. I had given her a copyedited ms that I had gone over extensively, so she didn't have to waste any time on my inability to figure out where to place commas, etc. (only half kidding).

As part of her editing package, she spent an hour on the phone with me and we mostly talked about marketing. (We didn't need to go over her notes and suggestions in my book; they were self-explanatory.) Rachel gave me lots of solid advice and recommendations on how to market my erotica and build a readership base.

She also made suggestions on how to entice readers by creating likeable characters that they'll want to come back and read about more. I think I knew that intuitively, but Rachel put it in perspective and gave me some specific advice on how to make it happen. She looked at my website, twitter feed and other social media and, again, made some solid suggestions.

I'm new at erotica, but have been writing nonfiction professionally for quite a few years. I've had good editors and not-so-good editors (being generous here). Based on this first experience, Rachel is the former. For more info and pricing, go to her website: http://rachelkramerbussel.com/

Just to be clear, Rachel didn't ask me to post this review. She's a solid pro (and a nice person) and I found her services invaluable. I want to let other erotica writers, especially new ones, know that her editing services are available.

And if you're an erotica reader, I highly recommend her anthologies. It's all top-notch stuff.

The 12 most sexually satisfied countries

And, of course, no one is surprised the U.S. didn't make the list. It's an article on AlterNet about a poll. First, as a reporter, let me remind you that stories about polls are usually the laziest form of journalism. Easy to write, just repeat what the press release said. Don't look at who sponsored the poll (in this case, Durex, a manufacturer of condoms, or rubbers, as we said in my youth), how the questions were shaped, etc.

Well, this one's about sex and it's got a list (readers love lists), so it was hard to resist. The gist of it is, the U.S. is sexually repressed. Shocking, I know. And it has a lot of factoids about sexual practices in other countries, always fun to read. But don't take this too seriously.

http://www.alternet.org/sex-amp-relat...

Hot grannies talk to newlyweds about sex

I like to think of myself as hot, but definitely not a granny. But this blog post by author Iris Krasnow on the Huffington Post really caught my attention: What Hot Grannies Can Teach Newlyweds About Sex (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/iris-kr...).

Here's the grabber: "There is hope for what lies ahead. My new book Sex After...Women Share How Intimacy Changes As Life Changes, a compilation of 150 interviews with women ages 20 through 90, reveals uncensored secrets and strategies from women of all ages. Surprisingly, the sexiest advice comes from seniors over 70 who swear they are having the best sex of their lives."

She goes on to give some concrete examples. To say this is encouraging for those of us over a certain age (OK, I'll admit to being at least 40) is an overstatement.

Like this, part of an interview with a 79-year-old sex therapist: "I always encourage the use of vibrators with my clients of all ages. I am a big believer in women having orgasms once a day, or at least three times a week. Because an orgasm, like a Kegel, lifts and tightens the pelvis. An orgasm provides tremendous relaxation and it also helps keep the vagina healthy and lubricated. If you get used to having regular orgasms that whole part of your body is being revitalized, your whole life is revitalized. Also, if you learn to bring yourself to orgasm, you can have more fulfilling sex with a partner because you know what you need."

The blog doesn't get into how erotica fits into all this, but obviously, stimulating reading must have a place in promoting a long and fulfilling sex life. And way past middle age.