Luke Gilkerson's Blog, page 5
July 15, 2015
The Atrocity of Child Pornography
Last week we released the first part of our interview of Alicia Kozakiewicz. When Alicia was 13 years old, she was abducted outside her home by a predator who had groomed her online over a period of 8 months.
Alicia now travels all over the country talking about what happened to her in school classrooms and assemblies. She has helped out with educational films for the FBI, PBS, Enough is Enough, and the Pennsylvania Attorney General. She has appeared on Oprah and before U.S. Congress. And today she is one of the foremost advocates for the protection of children on and offline.
She speaks with us today about the connections between pornography and child victimization.
Show Notes:
0:55 – Alicia describes her predatory experience.
3:03 – How pornography grooms young men to become predators
9:45 – Alicia’s Law and the Not 1 More Child campaign
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July 10, 2015
Does porn provide good sex education? No. Here’s Why.
Unfortunately we live in a world where porn has become the most common sex educator. It’s common for children, even before puberty, to see pornography, and then to continue watching it into adolescence.
Let me mention just two trends in porn that are disturbing, showing why we should be concerned about anyone, especially young people, watching it.
First is the trend of eroticizing youth. Teen porn is the most popular category of porn available online. Porn websites will often play on this theme of “jailbait,” “barely legal,” etc. Since a 2002 Supreme Court Case, the Internet has been flooded with more and more films and photos where porn actresses are made to look like children and computer simulated sex acts with children.
The second trend I find disturbing is all the violence. A study of the best-selling mainstream pornography shows 49% of the scenes have instances of verbal aggression—mostly women being called degrading names—and what’s more frightening is that 88% of the scenes contain acts of physical aggression.
These are the same trends we see in other kinds of sexual exploitation today, and for these reasons, everyone should be concerned about youth watching pornography. To learn more about this, download a copy of Stop the Demand.
The post Does porn provide good sex education? No. Here’s Why. appeared first on Covenant Eyes.
July 8, 2015
Groomed: My Internet Predator Horror Story
When she was 13 years old, Alicia Kozakiewicz developed an online friendship with Scott Tyree. Little did she know she was being groomed for an abduction. On New Year’s Day, 2002, Alicia left her house to meet her “friend” outside. Tyree kidnapped her, drove her to his home, and tortured her for a period of four days.
In today’s interview, Alicia talks about her abduction, rape, and the FBI’s million-to-one rescue. She also talks about what parents need to know about online predators.
Show Notes:
0:54 – The story of Alicia’s abduction
3:17 – The story of Alicia’s rape and torture
4:19 – The story of Alicia’s rescue
7:07 – Alicia talks about what online grooming is
13:29 – What children are susceptible to grooming?
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July 3, 2015
How Much Do People View Porn?
Measuring how many people use porn is difficult to determine because there haven’t been many widespread studies done on it. Plus, there are challenges in doing this kind of research. Some would have a broader definition of porn than others. Some would be tempted to lie and not share what is really going on in their personal lives.
Still, we do have some sense of how much people view porn.
After an analysis of 400 million web searches, researchers concluded that about 1 in 8 searches online are for erotic content.
Another recent report found that 64% of U.S. men and 20% of U.S. women view pornography at least monthly. The same survey found that 18% of men and 3% of women believe they are addicted to pornography or are unsure if they are.
To get more 250 more pornography statistics, complete with original references and sources, go to covenanteyes.com/pornstats. Download the complete report for free.
The post How Much Do People View Porn? appeared first on Covenant Eyes.
July 1, 2015
Delight Your Marriage: Interview with Belah Rose
Pornography is terrible sexual education, causing both deep insecurities and impossible expectations. When couples find they just don’t “click” in the bedroom—often caused by these hidden insecurities and expectations—where can they go for help?
Belah Rose is the host of the Delight Your Marriage podcast where she talks mostly to wives about how they can bring sexual and romantic vibrancy back to their marriages. Today she speaks with us about her story, why she started this podcast, and how it has been helping couples rediscover the beauty of sexuality.
Show Notes:
0:47 – What is the Delight Your Marriage podcast and why do you do it?
2:03 – What kind of sexual education you have growing up?
5:10 – In what way did pornography harm your previous marriage?
10:52 – How has God redeemed sexuality in your current marriage?
15:20 – What should couples with a pornography past do when they don’t sexually “click” in the bedroom?
23:48 – Where can we listen to the Delight Your Marriage podcast?
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June 26, 2015
How Many Christians View Porn? A Lot, Actually
Today, one can easily say that porn has become the norm—even among churchgoers.
A recent survey found among Christian men…
64% admit that they view pornography at least monthly.
77% of Millennial men (18-30 years old) view porn at least monthly.
Among Millennial men, 36% say they view porn daily.
The same survey looked at women…
33% said they view porn at least a few times a year.
15% said they view it at least once a month.
Interestingly, despite the fact that the frequency of porn use is comparable to other men in America, Christian men are actually more likely to say they feel “addicted” to pornography.
To get more 250 more pornography statistics, complete with original references and sources, go to covenanteyes.com/pornstats to download the complete report for free.
The post How Many Christians View Porn? A Lot, Actually appeared first on Covenant Eyes.
June 19, 2015
Christian Accountability: Getting It Right, Getting It Wrong, Knowing the Difference
When we want freedom from our nagging habitual sins, we often want a private solution to our seemingly private problem. We don’t want to involve anyone else. But what if the Bible doesn’t point us to private solutions? What if Christian accountability relationships are one of God’s ordinary means of changing us from the inside out?
Free Accountability Tools
Accountability Partner Checklist – A simple, one-page checklist of how to have an Internet accountability conversation.
Accountability Questions: Discussion Guide For Accountability Partners – A robust self-assessment for accountability conversations.
Getting Started with Accountability
10 Steps to Finding a Great Accountability Partner – A step-by-step guide to getting started.
The Pillars of Biblical Accountability – The biblical essentials to good accountability.
But I Can’t Find a Good Accountability Partner… – When you feel like you have nowhere to turn for accountability, this will give you a jumpstart.
The Radical Power of Accountability
Siren Song: Overcoming Pornography Temptations – Even ancient mythology tells us there’s more to accountability than behavior modification.
Porno, Saint Nate, and the Pirate Monks (8:25 video) – Nate Larkin tells the story how pornography and prostitutes nearly ruined his life and how dropping his Christian persona was vital for breaking free.
Girls Hooked on Porn: Battle Notes from a Weathered Fighter (5:28 video) – Liz Vogt shares about what it was like to be a woman addicted to porn and how getting honest with others was vital to overcome.
Going Deep with Accountability
3 Gospel Principles for Battling Porn Addiction – Accountability is not a satellite of the Christian life; it is integral to it.
More Than Porn: Accountability in the Gray Areas – Sin isn’t just about looking at naked people.
Beyond the Superficial: 7 Principles from Proverbs About Friendship – “You will not find the warrior, the poet, the philosopher or the Christian by staring in his eyes as if he were your mistress: better fight beside him, read with him, argue with him, pray with him.” – C.S. Lewis
Coming Clean: Overcoming Lust Through Biblical Accountability (free e-book) – What if we were meant to treat accountability not as a last resort but as a lifestyle?
#Fail: Getting Accountability Wrong
5 Reasons Why Christian Accountability Fails – Good accountability partners don’t just call you out on your sin. They call you up to the person you really want to be.
10 Reasons Why Accountability in the Church is Unpopular – Many Christians are never taught that sanctification is a community project.
Spouses and Accountability
Internet Monitoring Software: “Spying” on Your Husband – Four critical questions couples need to ask about Internet accountability in the home.
What Every Wife of a Sex Addict Has a Right to Know About Her Husband’s Recovery – Don’t neglect your marriage for the sake of your recovery.
Should my wife be my accountability partner? The experts give their answer (12:28 podcast) – Yes, you are accountable to your wife, but she is not your accountability partner.
Honesty in Marriage: Should my wife be my accountability partner when it comes to lust? (8:33 podcast) – Don’t trade a secret porn life for a secret recovery life.
Kids and AccountabilityAccountable Kids: Explaining Covenant Eyes to Your Family (free e-book) – We must teach our kids: when you are at your best, plan for your worst.
3 Secrets to Raising Porn-Proof Kids – What you need to do is not cover your kids’ eyes but teach them to see. Install that software in their heads.
The post Christian Accountability: Getting It Right, Getting It Wrong, Knowing the Difference appeared first on Covenant Eyes.
June 17, 2015
Hearts of Men: The Key to Rescuing Men from Porn Addiction
Jason Pamer is the producer and co-writer of the award-winning documentary on sex trafficking, Rape For Profit, recently landing in the top 50 films on iTunes. Jason studied acting under an Emmy award-winning director at the Center for Creative Media.
In cooperation with Unearthed, Jason is currently working on a new film project: Hearts of Men. In our interview Jason tells us about this upcoming film and what makes it unique.
Show Notes:
0:45 – What is the film, Rape for Profit and why did you make it?
3:25 – How did Rape for Profit lead to the creation of this new film, Hearts of Men?
7:10 – What makes this film unique when it comes to dealing with the problem of pornography addiction, both in its content and its format?
18:03 – How can the church get people excited about the film?
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June 11, 2015
5 Questions Singles Often Ask About Lust & Pornography
How can a single Christian remain pure in a sexualized culture? Covenant Eyes recently surveyed hundreds of its members, asking what questions they have about singleness and overcoming pornography. Lisa Eldred, author of More Than Single: Finding Purpose Beyond Porn, answers the top 5 questions we received.
Show Notes:
0:35 – What does healthy sexuality look like for a single person?
5:04 – Is masturbation sinful and what does the Bible say about it?
9:28 – How do I tell the person I’m dating I struggle with pornography?
14:03 – What are some of the practical things I can do to break free from pornography?
20:56 – How do I ask someone to hold me accountable?
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June 5, 2015
36 Ridiculous Clichés Singles Are Tired of Hearing
It is estimated 25% of Millennials will never get married. In fact, the chances of never getting married are higher now than ever before. In the face of such fantastically optimistic statistics, more and more people are dishing out dating advice to singles.
What you say
What a single person thinks
You will meet someone when you least expect it.
Exactly how is this supposed to help me? How can I try to expect something less, unless I forget about it entirely? And if that’s the answer, then why are you reminding me by bringing it up? If you’re right, haven’t you just set me back at least a couple weeks by making my singleness a topic of conversation?
We want grandbabies!
Thanks. So glad to know my reproductive organs exist for your multi-generational sense of fulfillment.
God has the perfect match for you.
Your prophetic abilities are astounding. Good to know God has a match for everybody. Too bad guys like John the Baptist, Elijah, Daniel, Jeremiah, and Paul didn’t get that memo.
If I was a girl/guy I would totally date you.
Perfect. Good to know I can land myself a date in the magical gender-swap universe.
There’s plenty of fish in the sea.
If by “fish” you mean human beings, I was aware of this already. There’s well over seven billion of us. Thanks for the reminder that despite the surplus population, I still haven’t found a date. Cheers.
My friend didn’t get married until she was 50, so you still have time.
You know what, you’re awesome. I was hoping to get married around menopause.
What to Say Instead
If you’re one of these well-meaning people, you may be thinking, “Great, now I feel bad.” But there’s good news: you don’t need to walk on egg shells around your single friends! Here’s a list of easy-to-remember words and phrases to start saying instead:
“How are you?”
“Want to hang out sometime?”
“Is there anything I can pray about for you?”
“You’re awesome!”
Don’t say anything about their singleness at all. Just listen.
Singles, We Know You’re More Than Single
The real problem with these clichés, is that, as well-intentioned as many of them are, they sometimes come across as hurtful or offensive. Instead of easing the loneliness or bitterness, they may even make these feelings worse…and drive singles into compulsive behaviors, like binge-eating or porn.
We recently released a new book, More Than Single: Finding Purpose Beyond Porn, about helping singles break free from lust and pornography and find joy.
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