Adam Tendler's Blog, page 14
March 1, 2018
February 28, 2018
well (at Los Angeles, California)
well (at Los Angeles, California)
February 27, 2018
Music for Amplified Toy Pianos (Cage, 1960), creating a...
Music for Amplified Toy Pianos (Cage, 1960), creating a realization just for tomorrow’s concert at @thebroadmuseum somewhere over the rocky mountains
February 26, 2018
spit
every time i’m on the receiving end of some kind of strange hate-related assault in new york—and i intentionally frame that as something that occurs rather frequently—i’m mostly angry with how the episode poisons my mind afterward, typically with a world of “shoulda"s and "woulda"s. like, every time i’m called a faggot by a stranger, afterward i’m lost in thought about what i should have said. or yesterday, when i was walking down the street and a guy literally out of nowhere asked what i was looking at (not him) and then spit in my face, in my eyes, across my beard and lips and glasses and hat and clothes. i was shocked in the moment, because to me there’s almost nothing more hateful you can do to another human being, and i barely even noticed this other human being until he spoke—but he hated me that much. of course now, though, i’m only thinking of what i should have done (obviously some sort of steven seagal number, etc.), or that i should have called the cops and followed him when he dared me to do exactly that, and so on. these things poison me not only with inward shame, but with an unrecognizable hatred for other people, this city, my neighborhood, my surroundings, lodging in me a deep mistrust and disdain, triggering memories of years of childhood/teenage bullying and poking at the sedimentary foundation where i’ve buried them and their accompanying "shoulda"s and "woulda"s. it’s not fair, but it’s reality, and it happens to me, in some way or form, like once a month in 2018 new york city.
