Alis Rowe's Blog, page 10

How do we react to people who are on their own?

I’ve been watching some of my animations and something that stands out at me in pretty much every film is: how other people respond to The Girl With The Curly Hair when she is on her own.

Even though I wrote the scripts, I don’t fully appreciate every single learning point captured in a film. In fact, each time I watch one of the animations, I see a different angle or a new perspective. Today I’ve been noticing the reoccurring theme that The Girl With The Curly Hair is so often on her own – or so often wanting to be on her own – and the different reactions people have to her.

Let’s have a look at some specific examples:

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2 rarely emphasised ways of coping with change

Many people struggle with change and it is well known that autistic people struggle with change even more so. There are primarily two types of change: 1) chosen change and 2) imposed change. The pandemic is an example of an imposed change.

If you are interested in learning more about how people react to change, I recommend reading about the Kubler-Ross change curve. The Kubler-Ross model suggests that, after a change, people go through 5 different stages and feel 5 different emotions, and they eventually come to accept the change. The change becomes the new normal and the person gets on with their life. I think that it is quite interesting to note that the way people react to chosen and imposed changes is remarkably similar. Even chosen changes can cause feelings of anger and grief, for example.

Although it is helpful to learn how to deal with the emotions associated with change, there are at least two other, lesser talked about, factors that people might benefit from learning to manage. These two things have actually benefited me far more than learning to cope with the 5 feelings in the Change Curve. So I want everybody to know about them!

So, here are two rarely emphasised things that happen to us when we go through change and ways to successfully combat them:

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What is it like to be a literal thinker?

Literal thinkers interpret what others say based on the precise or factual meaning of the words used, as opposed to the implied or metaphoric meaning. People on the autism spectrum are often associated with having literal thinking. Some neurotypical people also have literal thinking. Literal thinking has nothing to do with intelligence.

One great struggle that comes from having literal thinking is that it can be incredibly difficult to interact with others. Communication becomes very confusing.

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The post What is it like to be a literal thinker? appeared first on The Girl with the Curly Hair.

How to improve your listening skills

Listening is a very important component of good communication. Many people consider themselves to be “good listeners”… but are they really?! Just because you are an introverted or a quiet person for example, it does not automatically make you good at listening.

Communication is very difficult for autistic people and I have noticed that a lot of autism literature focuses on helping autistic people to improve their understanding and use of body language, tone of voice and eye contact. Listening skills are often overlooked.

In this article I will give you some ideas on how to improve your listening skills. These suggestions are also going to be useful to neurotypical people. 

We should always remember that communication between neurotypical and autistic people can be especially hard. Misunderstandings are common. Therefore, it’s even more vital for both neurotypical and autistic people to work on improving their listening skills, so as to be able to communicate more effectively with each other.

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The post How to improve your listening skills appeared first on The Girl with the Curly Hair.

The 6 Golden Rules of Managing Sensations (animation)

The majority of situations can cause an autistic person to feel a degree of uncertainty.

Even very common situations, such as going on the train or going to a GP appointment, can contain many unpredictable factors, leading to feelings of uncertainty. Neurotypical people don’t tend to worry to the same degree about uncertainty. They might not even feel that situations can have an uncertain outcome. This might be because they naturally have the flexible thinking skills to know what to do should something unexpected happen.

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The post The 6 Golden Rules of Managing Sensations (animation) appeared first on The Girl with the Curly Hair.

How to be a more constructive thinker

In any situation, we always have a choice over how we behave. We can try to choose to think constructively or we can think destructively. Consider it as though our thinking is either a tool (useful and empowering) or an obstacle (harmful and disempowering).

Once this concept is understood, it gives us the ability to positively change our lives. By thinking and behaving as constructively as possible, life can be constructed in the way that we want. Thinking and behaving in a destructive way, on the other hand, can make life worse.

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The Anxiety Continuum

Lately I’ve been reading about tendon pathology and there was one concept, called the continuum, that I thought was interesting and could be applied to anxiety as well as tendons!

It reminded me of my view on anxiety: anxiety is not always bad. A small level of anxiety can even be beneficial because:

It warns us of danger

It helps us perform

It helps us become more self-aware: it makes us think about what makes us anxious and what we can do about it

It keeps us de-sensitised to things

The continuum idea means that anxiety is reversible. It can be good and bad. It can get better and worse…

I hope this idea might help you or make you think about anxiety in a different way.

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The 4 phases of a meltdown

Having done quite a lot of research into the subject, I started to see that there may be a trend in the way autistic people experience meltdowns. The trend that I noticed was that there seems to be different ‘phases’ of a meltdown.

I wonder whether if people are able to identify these phases and understand them, they will be able to anticipate and manage their meltdowns better. Might it also be true that if someone identifies and treats a meltdown early on then some ‘symptoms’ might be prevented?

A person might also find that they will be able to anticipate the duration of their ‘attacks’, which can help them better plan their life and know when they’ll be back to normal.

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When you subscribe to The Curly Hair Project, 

you will receive a free Autism Alert Card worth £6!

The post The 4 phases of a meltdown appeared first on The Girl with the Curly Hair.

Subconscious anxiety

Subconscious anxiety is anxiety that’s just there. It might not be present for any obvious or particular reason. It causes an individual to feel nervous, worried or on edge throughout the day.

Many neurotypical people feel anxious about a particular circumstance. For example, a neurotypical person might be anxious about the meeting they’re having with their boss later. They can feel anxious all the time leading up to the meeting, but at least they know why, and the anxiety will probably go when the meeting is over.

Autistic people (or anyone who has an anxiety disorder) may have something called ‘subconscious anxiety’, which means they feel anxious regardless of what is going on. If you think you experience this, or that your loved one experiences this, I hope this article helps you.

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The post Subconscious anxiety appeared first on The Girl with the Curly Hair.

Using masking in order to communicate (animation)

Masking is sometimes the only way that an autistic person will be able to interact with other people.

I made an insightful animation to explain this idea. Watch it below:

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Why support
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Free Autism

Alert Card!

When you subscribe to The Curly Hair Project, 

you will receive a free Autism Alert Card worth £6!

The post Using masking in order to communicate (animation) appeared first on The Girl with the Curly Hair.