Alis Rowe's Blog, page 6
September 15, 2022
How to tolerate other people’s behaviour
Autistic people might have strong views on how other people ‘ought’ to behave. They might feel cross when others do not follow ‘the rules’. They might also find it difficult to understand those who behave in a different way from themselves.
I was watching this train scene:
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August 31, 2022
What is ‘executive function stress?’
People on the autism spectrum may struggle with their executive function. Executive function is the set of skills that helps people get things done, such as the ability to plan, organise and prioritise. Executive function also helps people to be able to stop and start tasks and to remember what has already been done and what needs to be done next.
Being autistic as well as struggling with impaired executive function can mean that day to day activities are overwhelming for those on the spectrum. Many people probably underestimate the true impact that weak executive function can have on ordinary tasks.
Whenever an autistic person uses their executive function ability, they may experience ‘executive function stress.’ Executive function is like a set of cogs. When someone has good executive function, the cogs in the brain turn smoothly. When someone has weak executive function, the cogs are misshapen and don’t turn properly. Then the person has to work very hard and the cogs might get very hot! The person feels worn out from all the ‘executive function stress’.
I wrote a story (‘Going Shopping’) about the sorts of things that happen when The Girl With The Curly Hair goes to the supermarket. I thought it would be an effective way to explain how she experiences ‘executive function stress’:
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August 15, 2022
4 Ways to get better at managing your mistakes
Have you ever done something and later – or even immediately after – realised that it was the wrong thing to have done?
When such a scenario does occur, my usual instantaneous reaction is to feel very frustrated, cross or disappointed (usually with myself!). Like many autistic people, I feel emotions very strongly, so these feelings linger and I feel full of regret. Sometimes I can’t even concentrate on my next activity because I am ruminating about what has just happened. Sometimes I am still ruminating about what happened at the very end of the day or even the next day.
This ruminating doesn’t make me feel very good. My strong emotions that “I did something wrong” are painful.
However, I have learned some ways that help me to 1) reduce the likelihood that I make the wrong decision in the first place and 2) feel less upset when I have made the wrong decision. Here they are:
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August 1, 2022
How do autistic people experience physical pain?
Pain is defined as an unpleasant physical sensation and emotional experience caused by illness or injury.
Individuals on the autism spectrum often exhibit differences in the way they experience pain. These altered experiences could be because of: autism-related communication difficulties, sensory differences or an altered way in which they process pain stimuli.
Our ability to experience pain is really important because it tells us when something is wrong and warns us to avoid dangerous situations.
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July 15, 2022
Understanding emotional satisfaction
Have you ever had thoughts similar to “I wish I was like that” or “I wish I could do what they do”?
Several times in the past when I had mentioned to people, “I wish I was like that” or “I wish I could do what they do”, their responses were interesting. They sometimes said, “Well, why don’t you be like that then?” or “Why don’t you do that then?”
But, from my point of view, the people who responded in this kind of way were missing the point. They did not understand what my problem was. Theoretically, I could try to behave in the way others do (‘behave neurotypically’), but it would be an enormous effort. In fact I have tried to do this many times in the past.
However, even when I do make the effort to do ‘neurotypical things’, it doesn’t fix the problem. The problem is not that I can’t do these things, it is that I do not innately feel any enjoyment or other emotional satisfaction from being like this. In fact, these things make me feel very uncomfortable.
As an example, consider that somebody you know is getting married. Everyone who is attending the wedding is very excited. With a lot of effort, an autistic person might also be able to attend… however they may not be able to achieve the same feeling of excitement that “everybody else” is experiencing. They may feel uncomfortably out of place and unhappy although they appeared to be enjoying themselves.
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The post Understanding emotional satisfaction appeared first on The Girl with the Curly Hair.
June 30, 2022
How to use emotional and logical thinking when communicating with others
We recently thought about the differences between emotional and logical thinking. Something else that occurred to me was how we can use emotional and logical thinking skills to communicate with others when there is a problem.
It is well established that logical thinking tends to be the preferable thinking type when it comes to solving a problem. But what about managing relationships? Should we always talk to people logically? What about when somebody else has a problem and comes to us for help? Is it always best that we respond with logical thoughts?
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June 14, 2022
Should I think about things in a logical or emotional way?
Logic and emotions are two primary ways in which human beings are able to think about things, draw conclusions and communicate. Both logic and emotions are useful and can add value to a person’s well being. So what is the difference between logical and emotional thinking and how can each be used to improve well being?
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The post Should I think about things in a logical or emotional way? appeared first on The Girl with the Curly Hair.
May 30, 2022
Understanding the fear of being ‘told off’
When I was a teenager, at school, I was exceedingly and abnormally well behaved. I still have a memory of a classmate remarking to me, “Don’t you ever do anything wrong?”. I went through the entire 5 years of secondary school without receiving a single detention. Detentions were quite usual occurrences for most students. They were most commonly given for naughty or silly behaviour, swearing, bullying, not doing your homework and being late. I never did any of these things.
I’m definitely not the only autistic person who could be described as “well behaved.” Autistic people (girls in particular) are often described as being “very, very good” and/or “very, very quiet.”
One of the reasons that I was so well behaved was because I was terrified of being told off. It was just so much easier to be quiet and well behaved than have to deal with confrontation or become a focal point.
When a person is well behaved, they are able to ‘get on’ without drawing excessive attention to themselves. Well, I guess they could provoke the occasional “Well done” or other word of praise, but this is nothing compared to the attention that comes when someone behaves inappropriately.
Similarly, when a person is quiet, they are able to ‘get on’ without being noticed.
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The post Understanding the fear of being ‘told off’ appeared first on The Girl with the Curly Hair.
May 15, 2022
3 Types of masking
It has been recognised that people on the autism spectrum engage in ‘masking’ behaviours. When an autistic person masks, it means that they appear more neurotypical than their cognitive profile would otherwise suggest.
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The post 3 Types of masking appeared first on The Girl with the Curly Hair.
May 1, 2022
10 winter to summer transitions that can affect autistic people
Autistic people can feel uncomfortable when things change. One big change that we all have to go through is the winter to summer transition. Here are 10 changes that occur when the seasons shift, that might affect autistic people:
1. Change of timeEvery spring in the UK, the clocks move forward by one hour. This means that 6am is now 7am and 7pm is now 8pm, etc.
For the first few days after the clock has changed, it can cause disruption to an autistic person’s internal routine. Autistic people can be extremely sensitive and this can include being sensitive to: what time it is, how “awake” or “tired” they feel, as well their observations of the world outside. For example, I go out walking every day at 5am. The mornings have gradually been getting lighter so, before the clocks were changed, I had been used to walking in daylight. The day after the clocks had changed, at 5am it was pitch black outside. The change felt really abrupt.
I imagine if you are an autistic person who is used to waking up early or going to bed late, the changes caused by daylight saving might really affect you.
The clock change can also affect what time an autistic person feels hungry and influence their meal times.
Join The Curly Hair Project Community TodayThis article and our podcasts are available only to members of our community. If you would like to continue to read this article, along with receiving access to our exclusive animations, podcasts and special offers – please click the Subscribe today button. If you are already a member, please log in.
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The post 10 winter to summer transitions that can affect autistic people appeared first on The Girl with the Curly Hair.
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