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7 Secrets First-Time Leaders Want to Know

The art of leadership can be defined in many ways. There are probably as many definitions of leadership as there are leaders, and each person brings their style of leadership, which is part of what makes it such a dynamic and interesting field. But at some point, most of them say, “I had no idea it would be this way.”

Some even complain that they came unprepared for their roles because schools of management and leadership did not give them the skills they needed to succeed as leaders.

So here are some lessons in Leadership 101:

1. Your character is more important than your competency. More than anything else, you want to be known as a leader who is ethical, honest and trustworthy. It’s important for leaders to be competent and skilled, but that’s not the source of great leadership. It’s your character as a leader that matters most—not only to your team, organization, or venture but also to the world. Without trust, all the competency in the world is meaningless.

2. Your insistence on excellence will be measured daily. As a leader, your standard of leading and doing and acting will be measured daily. Part of the calling of leadership is a commitment to live your life with the highest standards. Excellence matters. It’s a question you have to ask yourself every day: Did I deliver excellence or did I cut corners? Excellence is ultimate measure of success, especially in leadership.

3. Your communication will be welcomed and scrutinized. The finest expression of respect is not praise or status but the willingness to communicate candidly and honestly. It is important to share information, and it will be welcomed when you do. But you’ll also be scrutinized—on how you speak and how you listen. Make sure you communicate in a way that leaves people feeling valued and understood.

4. Your leadership style will be emulated and criticized. As much as possible, don’t give others cause to condemn or find fault with your life and leadership but make your legacy one that inspires others to live their lives authentically and well. Remember, everything you do as a leader sets an example, so be sure the example you are setting is one you want to see throughout your organization.

5. Accountability and responsibility are an irresistible force. The price of great leadership is accountability and responsibility. Their combined force has the power to change the face of people and circumstances. The remarkable thing is that you have a choice every day about how we conduct yourself. Always make those choices on the basis of what is best for the organization. Let people know they can count on you.

6. Developing others is as important as developing yourself. The most important responsibility of a leader is helping their people develop; your success depends on how well you perform this task. Make employee development an important priority by creating a climate in your organization or team where personal growth is expected and rewarded. Great leadership consists of showing good people how to do the work of great people.

7. You need to bring plenty of confidence and courage. Leadership is not easy. There are many challenges, and you will need to be decisive and confident. But you’ll also need to be able to put yourself on the line. The burden of decision making belongs to the leader, and the key to leadership is having the confidence to be decisive. The other essential quality—and the two are closely related—is courage. Successful leaders have the courage to take action where others hesitate.

Especially if you’re starting out, these elements will make the difference between being a good leader and a great leader. Take them to heart just as the most successful leaders do.

Lead From Within: The secret for the first time leader, is knowing that nothing will work until they do.

 

Articles you might be interested in:

Let Your Leadership Speak For Itself

How to Become A Leader You Admire

Lead By Example Others Will Follow

Your Leadership Motivation Starts Within

Photo: Getty Images

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Why The Empathetic Leader Is the Best Leader

You may be wondering why is the empathetic leader the best leader?

Empathy is a leadership competency – like no other skill- that can make a big difference when it comes to leadership.

Empathy means being able to understand the needs of others. It means you’re aware of their feelings and their thinking.

It doesn’t mean you have to agree with their point of view, but- it means  that you’re willing to understand and appreciate it.

Many people are quick to empathy as a touchy-feely skill. But in truth, it can be difficult to master and demanding to maintain, and it has major impact on leadership.

At the core leadership is ultimately about others. It means inspiring them to take actions beyond their capabilities, leading them in a direction that is compelling and inspiring. And empathy is the foundation of those actions.

Here are six simple ways that empathy can make you into the best leader you can be:

1. Empathy creates bonds. When you care about another, you create a strong bond. You are better able to connect and understand their interests and perspective. Imagine the power of your teams, your business, your leadership with the bonds between them strengthened by empathy.

2. Empathy gives insight. It’s important to remember that the story we tell in our minds is different from the story playing in the minds of others. It is only through listening intently to others that you can begin to understand these differences. When you listen you learn, and when you learn you gain insight. There is a story behind every person, a reason why they are the way they are. Empathy allows you to think before you judge and make assumptions.

3. Empathy teaches presence:  Empathy means listening attentively, putting your complete focus on the person in front of you without becoming distracted. As a leader you are present to listen, understand, assist, and support, not to advise or fix or reply but simply to be. Being present means allowing others to have their moment, and it teaches us as leaders to be patient. It means putting others ahead of yourself—which in today’s competitive workplace can be challenging.

4. Empathy guides understanding:  It’s not always easy to understand why someone feels or thinks the way they do. People often react in ways that are surprising, and it may leave you clueless about how to respond. But with empathy in your leadership toolkit, you don’t have to worry how to respond, because the goal is not to respond but to listen, not to reply but to understand. Empathy allows you to understand others without passing judgment or making assumptions.

5. Empathy sharpens people skills. Demonstrating empathy is hard; it takes time and effort to show awareness and understanding. When it comes to building teams and earning trust, you have to take an interest in people, to show you care. You have to show curiosity by asking questions about their challenges, their families, and their aspirations. When you do, you build empathy—and you sharpen your people skills.

6. Empathy cultivates better communicator. When you’re acting in empathy, you listen in a way that makes other people want to speak to you, and communicate in way that makes people feel safe to talk to you. To effectively communicate means realizing and acknowledging the differences in the choices we make and in the way we perceive the world, and then using this understanding to guide your communications with others.

At the end, empathy is a leadership capability that is well worth cultivating, a soft skill that leads to hard, tangible results.

Lead From Within: What’s empathy have to do with leadership. Everything. Because leadership is about having the ability to relate and connect and listen and bond with people for the purpose of inspiring and empowering their lives.

Articles you might be interested in:

It Takes Each Of Us To Make A Difference For All Of Us

How to Become A Leader You Admire

12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves

Lead By Example Others Will Follow

Codes Of Conduct To Lead

For coaching, consulting, workshops and speaking. Please feel free to contact us .

Photo Credit: Getty Images

 

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17 Ways to Be A Leader Even If You Are Not In Charge

Leaders are everywhere—you don’t need to have a title or a position to be a leader.

What makes you a leader is defined not by your role but by who you are. You don’t need to be the boss to be in charge. A leader can be anyone, despite their title or tenure, regardless of their position or power.

Here are 17 actions and traits that make up the core of leadership. If you have them–You are a leader. If you don’t, and you want to lead, start today to cultivate these habits.

1. You keep raising your own standards. If you’re always doing better, doing more, and working with excellence, you are a leader.

2. You offer solutions instead of concentrating on problems. If you’re known as a problem solver or someone who brings ideas to make things better, you are a leader

3. You share what you know. If you believe in helping others do their best by making sure they have all available information, you are a leader.

4. You are an effective communicator. If you’re a clear, concise communicator, you listen to learn, and people are drawn to what you say and how you say it, you are a leader.

5. You are a connector. If you like to connect with other people and connect other people with each other because you understand that leadership is about relationships, you are a leader.

6. You have a voice. If you have a distinct voice, one that defends values and purpose and inspires others to follow, you are a leader.

7. You seek to collaborate and contribute. If what you do is about facilitating contribution by leveraging collaboration and you seek to contribute to change, you are a leader.

8. You know how to stay calm in the storm. If everyone around you is in panic, stressing out and spinning their wheels, but you know how to stay calm and be resilient when things are tough, you are a leader.

9. You are first on board. If you take risks and make bold moves by being the first on board, you are a leader

10. You have earned respect. If people respect you enough that you’re in a great position to influence others, you are a leader.

11. You don’t take things personally. If you can be the kind of person who doesn’t take things personally, if you respond rationally rather than emotionally when you don’t like someone’s tone or words, you are a leader.

12. You are trusted. If people trust you, that means you are known for doing the right thing the right way. When you do, you have impact and you are a leader.

13. You don’t gossip. If you hold yourself to never speaking ill of others, to their face or behind their back, you are exceptional—and you are a leader.

14. You harness positivity. If you are the kind of person who sees the bright side of things and finds positivity in what they do, you will have people aligned with you—and you are a leader.

15. You exhibit confidence. If you exhibit confidence (whether you feel it or not) that keeps you at the front of the pack, you are a leader.

16. You give credit to others. If you work with others and you openly thank them and recognize their contributions, you are a leader.

17. You set the example. If you make yourself accountable for your actions and how you behave, your actions will always matter, because you are a leader.

Lead From Within: It really doesn’t take a fancy title or important responsibilities to be a leader. All you have to do is lead wherever you are with whomever you encounter.

Recent articles:

Leadership Has To Be Earned

90 Powerful Ways to Become a Highly Successful Leader

What a Leader is not…

Why You Need to Lead With a Higher Standard to Succeed

For coaching, consulting, workshops and speaking. Please feel free to contact us.




Photo Credit: Getty Images

 

The post 17 Ways to Be A Leader Even If You Are Not In Charge appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

17 Ways Be A Leader Even If You Are Not In Charge

Leaders are everywhere—you don’t need to have a title or a position to be a leader.

What makes you a leader is defined not by your role but by who you are. You don’t need to be the boss to be in charge. A leader can be anyone, despite their title or tenure, regardless of their position or power.

Here are 17 actions and traits that make up the core of leadership. If you have them–You are a leader. If you don’t, and you want to lead, start today to cultivate these habits.

1. You keep raising your own standards. If you’re always doing better, doing more, and working with excellence, you are a leader.

2. You offer solutions instead of concentrating on problems. If you’re known as a problem solver or someone who brings ideas to make things better, you are a leader

3. You share what you know. If you believe in helping others do their best by making sure they have all available information, you are a leader.

4. You are an effective communicator. If you’re a clear, concise communicator, you listen to learn, and people are drawn to what you say and how you say it, you are a leader.

5. You are a connector. If you like to connect with other people and connect other people with each other because you understand that leadership is about relationships, you are a leader.

6. You have a voice. If you have a distinct voice, one that defends values and purpose and inspires others to follow, you are a leader.

7. You seek to collaborate and contribute. If what you do is about facilitating contribution by leveraging collaboration and you seek to contribute to change, you are a leader.

8. You know how to stay calm in the storm. If everyone around you is in panic, stressing out and spinning their wheels, but you know how to stay calm and be resilient when things are tough, you are a leader.

9. You are first on board. If you take risks and make bold moves by being the first on board, you are a leader

10. You have earned respect. If people respect you enough that you’re in a great position to influence others, you are a leader.

11. You don’t take things personally. If you can be the kind of person who doesn’t take things personally, if you respond rationally rather than emotionally when you don’t like someone’s tone or words, you are a leader.

12. You are trusted. If people trust you, that means you are known for doing the right thing the right way. When you do, you have impact and you are a leader.

13. You don’t gossip. If you hold yourself to never speaking ill of others, to their face or behind their back, you are exceptional—and you are a leader.

14. You harness positivity. If you are the kind of person who sees the bright side of things and finds positivity in what they do, you will have people aligned with you—and you are a leader.

15. You exhibit confidence. If you exhibit confidence (whether you feel it or not) that keeps you at the front of the pack, you are a leader.

16. You give credit to others. If you work with others and you openly thank them and recognize their contributions, you are a leader.

17. You set the example. If you make yourself accountable for your actions and how you behave, your actions will always matter, because you are a leader.

Lead From Within: It really doesn’t take a fancy title or important responsibilities to be a leader. All you have to do is lead wherever you are with whomever you encounter.

Recent articles:

Leadership Has To Be Earned

90 Powerful Ways to Become a Highly Successful Leader

What a Leader is not…

Why You Need to Lead With a Higher Standard to Succeed

For coaching, consulting, workshops and speaking. Please feel free to contact us.




Photo Credit: Getty Images

 

The post 17 Ways Be A Leader Even If You Are Not In Charge appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

Optimism: The Secret Of Great Leadership

If you’re looking for powerful fuel for your leadership, look at optimism.

Winston Churchill used to say “A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” Maybe that’s why optimistic leaders are usually more successful than pessimists.

When you’re a pessimist, everything is about failure, anxiety, and problems. Bu when you’re optimistic you can be someone who continually improves and moves forward.

Even if you’re not among the lucky people for whom optimism comes naturally, you’ll discover it’s is an attitude that can be learned and practiced. Here are some strategies to consider to foster optimism in yourself and those around you:

1. Go for the gold. Celebrate your strengths and talent instead of concentrating on your weaknesses. Focus on what you do well and what you are good at. Don’t be down on yourself for everything you aren’t; instead, start loving yourself for everything you already are.

2. Get out of your comfort zone. Cultivate unpremeditated and unrehearsed actions, and encourage yourself to do things that are impulsive and impromptu. Especially if you are a creature of habit, push yourself to the edge of your comfort zone. Uncalculated action builds your optimistic muscle—when you stop doing what you have always done, you get new results.

3. Look for the proverbial silver lining. Learn to rethink every challenge and every adversity and always look for the gift. Try to look at situations that trigger your negativity as opportunities to learn. Teach yourself whatever discipline it takes to redirect your reaction into positivity.

4. Avoid negativity altogether. That means doing what you can to avoid negative environments, people, and circumstances. It won’t be easy, but make a true effort. If you know someone to be a complainer, do everything you can to keep your distance.

5. Nurture your well-being. Do what you can to surround yourself with positive messaging on a daily basis. Watch inspirational videos, read motivational blogs, biographies—whatever it is that inspires you and nurtures you.

6. Visualize the winner within. Every success starts within. If you don’t see yourself as a winner, then you can’t perform as one. The biggest challenge in any situation is to stay positive in a world that is filled with negativity.

7. Focus beyond yourself. If you know you have a tendency to be negative, do what you can to focus on something beyond yourself. Try to step outside of yourself, beyond the circumstances and situation, and past your pessimism.

8. Remember that happier equals healthier. There is evidence that the immune systems of optimistic people are stronger than those of pessimists. Stay positive and you may be able to enjoy better health.

9. Engage in daily positive mantras. If you have a tendency to talk to yourself in a negative way, change it up and give yourself a positive mantra. Try telling yourself, This will go right because I worked hard and this time I will succeed. Simple positive affirmations can have a positive effect on your mindset.

10. Be in control of what you can control. When faced with challenges, failures, adversity, recognize what you can change and proactively try to find ways to do something about it. Control the things you can control. Incredible things happen when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.

Lead from within: Optimism is essential to achievement and it is also the foundation of  true progress and great leadership.

Recent articles:

Leadership Has To Be Earned

90 Powerful Ways to Become a Highly Successful Leader

What a Leader is not…

Why You Need to Lead With a Higher Standard to Succeed

For coaching, consulting, workshops and speaking. Please feel free to contact us.


Photo Credit: Getty Images

 

 

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6 Lessons Every Great Leader Learns on the Job

If you’ve ever taken leadership courses or training you have a good start, but there are some lessons that you can only truly learn on the job through trial and error.

Here are six of the most important lessons that every great leader will end up learning on the job.

1. The courage to be yourself: You can’t learn how to be authentic; you just have to be real. You can’t tell someone you’re genuine; you just have to honestly and truly be yourself. All your faults and weakness, all your strengths and gifts—when they are out and you are OK with it, when you know you are strong and you have room to be vulnerable, that is something no one can teach you. It has to come from within.

2. The quieter you become the more you can hear: Trainings and workshops teach leaders how to communicate well, and especially how to speak concisely and clearly. But they don’t teach you how to actually listen—how to be silent in your mind when another speaks so you can listen to understand, not to reply. Too often leaders think that in order to succeed they need to do most of the talking, but those who are most admired spend more time listening than speaking.

3. To trust is a two way street:  No one teaches you trust—either you trust or you don’t. But as a leader, you quickly discover that giving trust first earns you trust. And without trust you can’t truly collaborate. Trust transforms relationships; it makes a group of people into a team. Take the lesson and find the value of being the first to trust.

4. You may never be perfect, but you can always be loyal: Loyalty can be discussed but never really taught, because its only source is a strong sense of dedication and duty toward others. It comes from understanding what it means to be dependable and reliable. Those who have loyalty give it freely and generously.

5. You will be stubborn about flexibility: You can tell people the benefits of being agile, but you cannot teach them to be flexible. Unless you are in the dregs of difficulties and being constantly challenged you will never truly know the essence of flexibility. It is only when things are flying at you at warp speed and changing from moment to moment that you can learn how to constantly make the adjustments that will keep you on track.

6. The secret of appreciation is… it comes from the heart: You can tell people to care and to give praise, you can teach them how to acknowledge, but to truly appreciate someone you have to speak from your heart. It’s a lesson great leaders have learned well; they go out of their way to show appreciation and let their people know how they make a difference. They understand that the task of the leader is not to put greatness into people but to elicit the greatness that is there already.

When you’ve been through the best training program that life can offer—the program of learning by doing (and by sometimes getting it wrong)—you’ll be fully prepared to step into your own version of great leadership.

Lead from Within: The most important leadership lessons will come from staying open to learning, because learning isn’t done to you, it’s something you choose to do.

Some other posts you may enjoy:

Leadership Has To Be Earned

Stay Vulnerable Even When It Hurts

What a Leader is not…

Why You Need to Lead With a Higher Standard to Succeed

For coaching, consulting, workshops and speaking. Please feel free to contact us.

Photo Credit: Getty Images

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12 Habits for Building Leadership Presence

Leadership is about making others better because of your presence. When someone looks at you, they should be able to gain confidence; they should be inspired to be more than they are.

But how do you know if you have the presence to even influence another? Here are some of the elements that make up a leadership presence.

1. Develop your character: Your character should never be silent. It needs to have a voice that reflects your heart and soul. When you lead with character, you give the essence of your identity.

2. Mind your attitude: Your attitude as a leader influences those around you, whether it’s negative or positive. It will be felt by those around you more quickly than your actions. A great leadership presence is practiced not so much in words as in attitudes and in actions.

3. Everything you wear has an expression: How you look and how you dress are important. Appearances make the first impression, so make sure your outward appearance reflects who you are inwardly. Don’t put on pretenses; the aim is to represent yourself authentically and appropriately.

4. Respect is the presence of everything: Great leaders build presence by practicing respect in three ways: respect for self, respect for others, and responsibility for actions. Without respect and responsibility true leadership presence is impossible.

5. Master competency: Great leaders they don’t end up telling people what they know but showing them how it is done. You have to be proficient in your field and an expert with your skills to have a presence in your leadership.

6. Cultivate communication: You need the skills to inform others, engage with others, and advise others in a clear and concise way that can be implemented and followed. The art of communication is the language of leadership.

7. Pay attention, your body is speaking. People may not always tell you how they feel, but they will always show you what they are thinking—you just have to pay attention to their presence. Body language sends clear message, even when people aren’t speaking. Make sure your own body language is consistent with what you say; don’t contradict yourself.

8. Emotional intelligence. Intelligence is important, but emotional intelligence matters more. It gives you the ability to understand yourself and others, a critical component of creating presence.

9. Accountability is your responsibility: To have presence is to accept responsibility for your actions and be accountable for your results. Without accountability there is no presence in leadership. This is your leadership and you are 100 percent responsible for it, so be accountable.

10. Motivation comes from within:  A true leadership presence motivates and inspires others—to take initiative, to walk toward, a common purpose, and to work together to accomplish tasks and to achieve goals. Be close enough to relate but be far enough to keep people moving forward.

11. Integrity is always the purpose: Some people think leadership is all about power, but actually it is all about having integrity. Having integrity means choosing your thoughts and actions based on your values and not on your personal gain. The supreme leadership quality is unquestionably integrity.

12. Reputation builds perception: When you have a leadership presence, it becomes a central part of your reputation. When your reputation is built on your character, it’s who you really are that defines how others see you.

If you don’t yet have the leadership presence you want, keep working through these 12 elements until you have discovered the influence that belongs to you.

Lead from Within: Presence is much more than just being there, it’s about adding value and making a difference for yourself and those around you.

Some other posts you might enjoy:

Be Distinct: Find The Hero Within

Let Your Leadership Speak For Itself

Lead By Example Others Will Follow

How to Become A Leader You Admire

For coaching, consulting, workshops and speaking. Please feel free to contact us.

Photo Credit: Getty Images

 

 

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The One Leadership Skill You Need To Succeed

There is one leadership skill that will influence your overall success more than any other. If you develop it well, your potential grows enormously—but if you don’t bother to learn it can end up costing you a great deal.

Most people agree on the surface of it: That to become a truly great leader is to become a truly great listener. Pressed to define what makes a great listener, many will say the ability to be silent.

But being silent is not going to make you into a great communicator or a better leader. Instead, follow this simple six-step strategy and L-I-S-T-E-N:

L = Look interested and get interested.

When someone is speaking, signal your interest with your expression and body language—and then get genuinely interested in what they are saying. Think about the motivations and reasons behind their words. In other words, pay attention. Listen in a way that tells them not only that you’re interested but also that they are interesting.

I = Involve yourself only if you’re asked to respond.

Too often instead of genuinely listening, we’re mentally lining up what we want to say next. Instead, train yourself to speak only when you’re asked a direct question. Then respond with empathy and let the clear attention you were able to give as you were listening inform your answer. Learn to listen in the moment without moving ahead.

S = Stay on target.

Listening is a powerfully efficient act, but it’s easy to fall off track. Most of us have an inclination to want to take over, to fix problems, to come up with quick solutions. But the true essence of listening is to stay on target—to be focused on what the speaker needs, not what you think they need. Successful leaders maintain that focus no matter what is going on around them.

T = Test your understanding.

Never pretend to know what you don’t know. We shouldn’t feel ashamed to ask and learn from people, and we should listen carefully to the views of others so we can always speak and act from understanding and empathy. Understanding runs much deeper than knowledge. Many people know a lot, but there are few who understand well. Always remain a student more than a teacher and keep an open mind no matter how much you know. Listen beyond what people say to understand what they mean.

E = Evaluate the message.

We must be silent before we can listen, we must listen before we can learn, we must learn before we can evaluate, we must evaluate before we can assist, and we must assist before we can lead. When it comes to listening and evaluating the message, check in from time to time and ask yourself what it means. Listen to the words that aren’t spoken; listen to understand the silences and the pauses. Make a conscious effort to evaluate the words and context as fully as possible.

N = Neutralize your reactions.

Suspend thought and judgment and allow yourself to just listen and absorb. An essential part of true listening is the discipline of neutralizing your reactions and tempering your feelings. That means setting aside any of your own prejudices, frames of reference or desires to allow yourself to experience the speaker’s world with empathy. When you can neutralize your reactions, the speaker and listener can move into mutual appreciation and true success can be achieved.

Don’t be silent for the sake of listening; listen for the sake of understanding.

Lead from Within: before you talk, listen. Before you react, think. Before you fix, elevate. Before you lead, learn.

Additional Reading:

Communication Mistakes to Avoid in A Difficult Conversation

The Shortest Possible Course in Communication

What Leadership Is Not

7 Basic Things Every Great Leader Should Know

For coaching, consulting, workshops and speaking. Please feel free to contact us.

Photo Credit: Getty Images

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Change Your Thoughts Change Your Life

She had just finished giving her presentation, which she had been preparing for weeks. She could feel all the eyes in the room on her. She knew she had failed and she felt miserable.

She dragged herself to her seat and slumped down in the chair. She didn’t dare look up for fear of even more embarrassment.

She felt depressed, disappointed, and most of all dejected. It would take her weeks to recover from her presumed failure.

Everyone goes through times when they feel they have not been at their best, when they could have been better, when they should have done more. But when our response to our disappointments become bigger than the situation, that is when we find ourselves in trouble.

Here are some thoughts to remember that failure is not permanent and forgiveness gives us freedom:

Failing is not the end of the world. The faster you accept that failure is part of life, the faster you can get on with being the person you are meant to be. You will never be 100 percent sure everything will work—sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t. A mistake is an event, not a person!

There is a lot you cannot control, but there is one thing you can. You can always control your reactions—to failure and to everything else. In a situation that feels out of control, do the best with with the resources you have access to. Wasting your time and emotional energy on what is beyond your control is a recipe for self-loathing. Invest your energy in the things you can change and the things you can control—namely, your behavior and responses.

The only person who can move past failure is you. The root of any experience comes from the relationship you have with yourself. External entities can have an effect on your mood and attitude, but in the long run nothing matters more than how you feel about who you are. If you internalize every disappointing setback with contempt and self-loathing, a life of solitary confinement and discontentment awaits you.

Eliminate the nonessentials. When things go wrong—and they do from time to time—stop and identify what is truly essential. See what is important and what is not, and eliminate the guilt and shame that keep you from moving forward. Give yourself a break; wipe the slate clean and build upon what is good instead of what is not. Remember you cannot accomplish anything if you are stuck in self loathing, so concentrate on what is essential and get rid of anything that isn’t serving you well.

There will be times you don’t like yourself. When we don’t know who to blame we blame ourselves; when we don’t know who to hate, we hate ourselves. But that’s OK when you know you can improve and that there will be second chances. Concentrate on doing what you know and doing your best.

The way you think about yourself determines your reality. We imprison ourselves when we allow outside negative circumstances to dictate how we should feel. You can dwell in that cell, but only you can exonerate yourself. You are not being hurt by the way people think about you—much of which is a reflection of how you think about yourself to begin with.

Forgiving ourselves is setting ourselves free – because when we dont we keep ourselves a prisoner.

The great thing about life, when you feel you have gone off track you can always get back on track. When you change your thoughts, you will change your life.

Lead From Within: You are more than the choices that you have made. You are more than the sum of your past mistakes. You are more than the problems that you create and therefore once you change your thoughts you can always change your life.

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19 Annoying Habits You Must Break To Be a Better Leader

If you don’t break your annoying habits you will never become the leader you want to be. 

We all tend to judge others by their actions and ourselves by our intentions, but one of the things required of great leaders is a significant level of self-awareness. You have to be able to step back and assess your own behavior, just as you would a team member’s, and look objectively at how that behavior influences your team and its work.

Here are some of the most common things leaders do to annoy and alienate the people around them. Check yourself against this list and start today to make any changes you need. When you do, you’ll be improving your leadership—and setting a great example for your team.

1. Having to feel like the smartest person in the room. Sure, it feels good, but it intimidates others and makes them less likely to share their ideas and opinions.

2. Blaming others and finding fault. When there’s a problem, do you gather the team to find solutions and look together how to prevent a recurrence, or do you just start pointing fingers? Few things infuriate team members more.

3. Speaking more than you listen. If you’re speaking, you’re not listening. And if you’re not listening, you’re cutting yourself off from important information—and connection with your team.

4. Being stuck in the past. It’s natural to want to hold on to what’s familiar, and it’s definitely important to learn from the past. But if you’re not focused on the future, the people around you will eventually move on without you.

5. Butting in. if you need to add your two cents to every decision, discussion, or development, you will be known as a micromanager, not a leader.

6. Negativity and opposition. Nobody sets out to be negative, but it’s a habit that’s easy to develop, and few forces are more destructive. When people see that their ideas will be immediately shot down, innovation stops completely.

7. Playing favorites. It’s great to admire and appreciate team members, and it’s fine to reward individuals for extraordinary efforts or achievements. But when you routinely single out one person or a few favorites at the expense of everyone else, it creates feelings of alienation and resentment.

8. Making excuses. Excuses and defensiveness are the last thing people want to hear when they’re focused on solving a problem.

9. Taking undue credit. We know nothing gets done alone—it takes a group of talented people to create success. Giving yourself all the credit is one of the most demoralizing things you can do.

10. Making derogatory comments and shaming others. You may think of yourself as “telling it like it is,” but when you use derogatory and demeaning language, you’re going to be seen as nothing more than a bully.

11. Making mountains out of molehills. If every problem is a disaster and every detail the most important thing in the world, you are wearing your team out with all the drama.

12. Passing the buck. Trust is the foundation of leadership, and when you fail to hold yourself accountable and take personal responsibility for your work and your leaership, you make yourself untrustworthy.

13. Making assumptions and passing judgment. When you judge others, you’re already in risky territory. And when you judge them on the basis of assumptions instead of working to understand the facts and context, you’re being genuinely unfair.

14. Losing your temper. When you speak out of anger or yell when things upset you, you lose sight of one of the most important elements of leadership: respect for others.

15. Withholding information. Refusing to share information not only shows a lack of trust but also tells those around you that you don’t care about interfering with their ability to do their job.

16. Focusing exclusively on winning. It’s great to win, and it’s important to motivate people. But even when things don’t work out, there are things to be learned and hard work to be rewarded.

17. Refusing to apologize. When you’re in the wrong and refuse to own up and apologize, you undermine trust, respect, and accountability, and alienate those you’ve wronged.

18. Killing the messenger. If people are afraid to tell you the the truth to speak up with candor, you’re creating a climate of fear and repression that makes it all but impossible to do great work.

19. Lacking appreciation and praise. Treat great effort as nothing special, and they will have little motivation and no allegiance.

Lead From Within: In leadership, our annoying habits aren’t just personal issues. They interfere with our ability to build a team and accomplish great things together, and we suffer the consequences along with everyone else. We owe it not just to our teams, but to ourselves, to make ourselves the best leaders we can be.

Additional Reading:

How Does EGO Edge Greatness Out

The 5 Times Your Leadership Is Guaranteed to Fail

The Power of Parting: 7 Things You Need To Stop Doing

Blame Is What Is Tearing You DownTake A Hard Look In The Mirror

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