Change Your Thoughts Change Your Life
She had just finished giving her presentation, which she had been preparing for weeks. She could feel all the eyes in the room on her. She knew she had failed and she felt miserable.
She dragged herself to her seat and slumped down in the chair. She didn’t dare look up for fear of even more embarrassment.
She felt depressed, disappointed, and most of all dejected. It would take her weeks to recover from her presumed failure.
Everyone goes through times when they feel they have not been at their best, when they could have been better, when they should have done more. But when our response to our disappointments become bigger than the situation, that is when we find ourselves in trouble.
Here are some thoughts to remember that failure is not permanent and forgiveness gives us freedom:
Failing is not the end of the world. The faster you accept that failure is part of life, the faster you can get on with being the person you are meant to be. You will never be 100 percent sure everything will work—sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t. A mistake is an event, not a person!
There is a lot you cannot control, but there is one thing you can. You can always control your reactions—to failure and to everything else. In a situation that feels out of control, do the best with with the resources you have access to. Wasting your time and emotional energy on what is beyond your control is a recipe for self-loathing. Invest your energy in the things you can change and the things you can control—namely, your behavior and responses.
The only person who can move past failure is you. The root of any experience comes from the relationship you have with yourself. External entities can have an effect on your mood and attitude, but in the long run nothing matters more than how you feel about who you are. If you internalize every disappointing setback with contempt and self-loathing, a life of solitary confinement and discontentment awaits you.
Eliminate the nonessentials. When things go wrong—and they do from time to time—stop and identify what is truly essential. See what is important and what is not, and eliminate the guilt and shame that keep you from moving forward. Give yourself a break; wipe the slate clean and build upon what is good instead of what is not. Remember you cannot accomplish anything if you are stuck in self loathing, so concentrate on what is essential and get rid of anything that isn’t serving you well.
There will be times you don’t like yourself. When we don’t know who to blame we blame ourselves; when we don’t know who to hate, we hate ourselves. But that’s OK when you know you can improve and that there will be second chances. Concentrate on doing what you know and doing your best.
The way you think about yourself determines your reality. We imprison ourselves when we allow outside negative circumstances to dictate how we should feel. You can dwell in that cell, but only you can exonerate yourself. You are not being hurt by the way people think about you—much of which is a reflection of how you think about yourself to begin with.
Forgiving ourselves is setting ourselves free – because when we dont we keep ourselves a prisoner.
The great thing about life, when you feel you have gone off track you can always get back on track. When you change your thoughts, you will change your life.
Lead From Within: You are more than the choices that you have made. You are more than the sum of your past mistakes. You are more than the problems that you create and therefore once you change your thoughts you can always change your life.
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