Lolly Daskal's Blog, page 120

90 Powerful Ways to Become a Highly Successful Leader

If you’re starting a new position or role, or your leadership just needs a refresher use these 90 powerful tips over the first three months to get your leadership on track.

It’s a tough statistic: 40 percent of leaders going into a new roles fail in their first 18 months. An estimated one-third of outside senior hires fail.

In any position, your effectiveness and trajectory are powerfully affected by choices you make – so how can you best make them count?

By having your very own playbook for success like this one: 

1.   Get A Head Start. Build relationships before you begin your new position. Think of whom you can talk to within the company who can guide you in your new position.

2.  Take A Reset Vacation. Before beginning a new role, separate yourself from the old one. Take some time off to give yourself some much-needed rest.

3.   Inform Your Loved Ones. A new role might mean a different schedule and more late nights for a while. Do what you need to assure your family and friends that you’ll do your best to be available.

4.   Stay In Shape. Make firm commitments with yourself to maintain good habits— because with new positions come stress and with stress comes anxiety.

5.   Take Control Of  Your  Start. Make sure the time you start your new position or role works for you. If you need to start later, negotiate for yourself. Be collaborative in manner but do what works for you and sets the right tone.

6.   Do Your Homework. Before you begin anything, find out the software and processes that are used and get up to speed.

7.   Focus On Systems. Use processes that work for you; develop systems that meet your needs and make your life easier. Make sure you can track progress and milestones, and that you have all you need to be effective.

8.   Model The Day. Practice modeling the perfect productive day—figure out what is important and determine priorities. Plan your meetings and create your systems. Build a model for what a good day feels like in this role.

9.   Learn The Foundation. Make sure you really know the mission of the company, what it stands for, what it wants to achieve.

10.  Roles And Rules. What are the functional roles within your team? How do they relate to what you want to achieve?

11.   Learn The Value Proposition.  Make sure you understand the value proposition of your team, your company and those who you work with you.

12.   Create A One-Pager. Prepare yourself with a summary of the mission, purpose and values of the company, along with the trends and innovations within your industry.

13.   Personal Planner. Make a personal plan based on where you want to be 90 days from now. Set goals and objectives; outline concerns and problems that you will deal with.

14.   Brainstorm.  You’ll need to brainstorm to set priorities and begin implementing plans without stepping on anyone’s toes.

15.   Take Small Steps. Your list may be long and arduous, but with small incremental steps you can set things in position.



16.   Make A Powerful Impression. People will vividly remember their first impressions of you. Make sure they’re positive.

17.   Speak To Your Team. Introduce yourself personally to each member of your team, and schedule an individual meeting.

18.   Walk In Their Shoes. Remember how apprehensive and uncertain it can feel to have a new leader, new ways of doing things, new priorities.

19.   Ask Lots Of Questions. Ask thoughtful questions and always listen intently.

20.  Visit Important Facilities.  If you’re at a new organization, make a point of familiarizing yourself with security, HR, IT, and the financial offices.

21.  Reach Out To Your Peers. Listen, ask questions, and start building a new network.



22.  Learn And Listen. Make it a point to learn and listen about the status of the company and its key initiatives.



23.  Look At Assignments. Make sure you have the right people in the right roles.

24.  Manage Up, Down And Across. Managing across and down are important, but if you don’t manage up you’re toast. “Up” includes each member of the executive team or your boss’s peers who control access to resources you need. If you’re in a senior leadership position, communicate one-on-one with your board members and major investors or donors early.



25.  Summarize.  People will be asking about your background and experience; be prepared to speak about yourself clearly and concisely.

26.  Set Up Reminders. Make sure you’re following up and staying focused.

27.  Be Respectful Of Time. The biggest hurdle in the beginning will be time, so learn to be respectful of your time and that of others.

28.  Get It Done. You’ll feel overwhelmed if you don’t have a plan—figure out what needs to get done and get it done.

29.  Don’t Chase Fires. When you start a new position, everything seems urgent. Determine what you should deal with now and what you can put off for later.

30.  Stay Neutral And Calm. Don’t adopt anybody else’s agenda or issues.

31.  Be Available. Don’t hide behind closed doors because you are feeling overwhelmed; it is the worst thing if people have to come and seek you out. Make yourself visible and available

32.  Learn What Matters. Learn what matters to your people and how you can help them achieve their goals.

33.  Create A Spreadsheet Of Power. Make a mind map of what each person does, what you want from them and how you can support them. Keep it up to date.

34.  Draw Boundaries. Determine what you can control, what you will make your own, what you will want to give approval on, and where you will have a say.

35.   Learn To Delegate. Figure out which tasks you will delegate and to whom. Give concise instructions and all the information they need to excel.

36.   Check Yourself At Benchmarks. After your first 30 days, provide a summary back to the organization of your findings. Draft what actions you intend to take based on what you’ve learned. Invite others to give you feedback.

37.   Measure Your Steps. Let them know when it will be accomplished and how, and that everything will be measured for results.

38.   Don’t Rush. Be realistic about the pace of change. Change can not be driven; it can only be inspired and motivated by you as a leader.

39.   Keep Milestones Attainable. Set realistic milestones that can be met and tie them to appropriate rewards.

40.  Draw Up A Team Road Map. Work with your team to develop a road map of its mission, purpose, values and roles. Let them know that success is a partnership.

41.  Revisit The Strategic Plan. Is it still applicable for the forward motion, vision and purpose of the organization?



42.   Align.  You want everyone from every team and department to be aligned on the company’s mission and purpose so they know how to make decisions and interact with colleagues and clients.

43.   Say NO. You don’t want to disappoint. But if you have to say no, let them know why. Teach your team the distinction between what is important and what is urgent, what gets approved and what doesn’t.

44.   Remember, You Can’t Please Everyone. But let everyone know you are here to do the best you can.

45.   Lead From Your Sweet Spot. Let people know what you are good at and what your strengths are. Let them get to you know for your strengths.

46.   Don’t Gossip. There will be stories to tell and stories to listen to, but don’t gossip. Don’t talk about the last leader or let team members talk about others. Keep your conversations professional.

47.   Deal With Your Weak Spots. Be wise enough to know your weak spots and be mindful on how you lead with them. Don’t try to pretend you’re perfect.

48.  Find The Experts. You don’t need to know everything—find the experts that can help you excel.

49.  Surround Yourself  With The Right People.  Build a network of diverse perspectives, talents, and intelligence.

50.   Let People See You Working Hard. It is important that people know what you are doing and that you are dedicated. Let people know you are serious.

51.   Don’t Let It Get To Your Head. Being in a new position is no time for ego. View it as a privilege.

52.   Build Relationships. Go deeper than the meet and greet.

53.   Make It Personal. Find out who everyone on your team is and what is important to them, professionally and personally.

54.   Mind Your Brand. Everyone has a message—make sure you can speak yours from the heart.

55.   Know Your Values. Make a list of what you stand for and what you will not tolerate. Let everyone know you have high standards and you spend your time meeting them every day.

56.   Remember Your Story Matters. Who you are, where you came from, what you value—they’re all relevant.

57.   Take It From “ME” To “WE”. Ask your team for ideas about how you can best collaborate to do something important.

58.   Don’t Let Distractions Get The Best Of  You. There will be lots of distractions—keep your focus.

59.   Show And Tell. Give good direction, especially with people who haven’t worked with you before.



60.   Don’t Keep Them Guessing. The worst thing you can do is failing to communicate with your team, your peers, and your bosses.

61.    Make It Easy For Others. Do everything in your power to simplify their work and to help them be successful.

62.    Define Priorities. Let your team know what you consider urgent and what constitutes a priority. Let them know how best to communicate with you in both cases.

63.    Set A Response Time. Let those around you know what to expect from you in terms of response time for voice mail, emails or any kind of communication, even in off hours.

64.    Disclose.    Let your team know what you will absolutely not tolerate.

65.    Let Them Get To Know You. It’s the path to effective collaboration, connection, and communication.

66.    Constantly Build Trust. Consistently work to build an atmosphere of trust that begins with you.



67.    Model The Behavior You Want. For example, put your own phone away at the beginning of your team meeting.

68.    Catch Problems Early. Learn how to identify and solve problems and find solutions before things become overwhelming.

69.    Reinforce Your Team’s Efforts. Show appreciation of their efforts and recognize their hard work.

70.    Pick Your Battles. Make sure they’re worth it.

71.    Be Reasonable. Don’t set expectations so high that no one can live up to them.

72.    Expect A Lot And Appreciate Even More. Set a high bar for performance, and reward it with gratitude.

73.    Always Be Positive. Always have a positive attitude and speak nicely about others. People are looking to you to set a tone.

74.    Go After Quick Wins. The energize teams and give you momentum.

75.    Plan To Succeed. Spend a few minutes in planning every day, however busy things are.

76.    Communicate Often. Never be inaccessible or hidden away.

77.    Tell Them A Compelling Story. When you need buy-in, remember that people resonate with a great story.

78.    Let Curiosity Kill The Can’t. Let everyone know how much you value curiosity.

79.    Run Great Meetings. To win hearts of your people, run great meetings. Make them fun and productive, memorable and measurable.

80.    Admit Your Mistakes. Let others know it’s OK to make mistakes as long as they don’t keep repeating them. Make the most out of mistakes; figure out what went wrong and learn how to do it better next time.

81.    Invest In Your People. Do all that you can to support them.

82.    Grow More Leaders. Give people the confidence they need and grow them to the next level.

83.    Ask For Help. Sometimes you just have to call in an expert or coach.

84.    Opinions Matter. Make it easy for people to share and speak their mind.

85.    Celebrate Diversity. The best teams seek out diversity and make the best use of it.

86.    Look For Talent Everywhere. Keep your eyes open to the value in others and think of ways to utilize their talents.

87.    Keep Them Informed. Put together a monthly newsletter or spreadsheet that lets people stay aligned and informed.

88.    Have Confidence. Believe in yourself and in your team; let them know you have the confidence to succeed and so do they.

89.    Keep Your Hands Off  The Wheel. Don’t micromanage or become a control freak. Let people show you what they can do.

90.    Stay Smart And Heart-Centered. Whatever you do, the first 90 days will be a road map for the rest of your leadership. Be smart about what you do and do all that you can to show that you care. Leadership is about inspiring and enabling others to do their absolute best together, to realize a meaningful and rewarding shared purpose.

Lead From Within: If you follow these 90 powerful tips you will go beyond being a successful leader. You will imprint hearts and minds of those you lead.

Lolly Daskal is the president and Founder of Lead From Within a consulting firm specializing in executive leadership coaching and customized leadership programs. Connect with Lolly Daskal

Additional Reading:

• At The Risk Of Being Changed


• The Power Of Parting: 7 Things You Need To Stop Doing 


• Lead From Where You Are And With All That You 


• The Wisdom Of Whole Hearted Leading

Photo Credit: Getty Images

The post 90 Powerful Ways to Become a Highly Successful Leader appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

Blame Is What Is Tearing You Down

She had just finished giving her presentation, which she had been preparing for weeks. She could feel all the eyes in the room on her. She knew she had failed and she felt miserable.

She dragged herself to her seat and slumped down in the chair. She didn’t dare look up for fear of even more embarrassment.

She felt depressed, disappointed, and most of all dejected. It would take her weeks to recover from her presumed failure.

Everyone goes through times when they feel they have not been at their best, when they could have been better, when they should have done more.

But when our response to our disappointments become bigger than the situation, that is when we find ourselves in trouble.

Here are some thoughts to remember about failure and blame:

No matter what happened, you can’t spend your life blaming yourself. Things go wrong; people mess up. Remember that you are not what happened in that moment—there is much more to you than one mishap. If you allow for something negative to grow bigger than it should be, you’re shrinking all the positives that make up who you are.

Failing is not the end of the world. The faster you accept that failure is part of life, the faster you can get on with being the person you are meant to be. You will never be 100 percent sure everything will work—sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t. A mistake is an event, not a person!

There is a lot you cannot control, but there is one thing you can. You can always control your reactions—to failure and to everything else. Wasting your time and emotional energy on what is beyond your control is a recipe for self-loathing. Invest your energy in the things you can change and the things you can control—namely, your behavior and responses.

The only person who can move past failure is you. The root of any experience comes from the relationship you have with yourself. If you internalize every disappointing setback with contempt and self-loathing, a life of solitary confinement and discontentment awaits you.

Eliminate the nonessentials. When things go wrong—and they do from time to time—stop and identify what is truly essential. See what is important and what is not, and eliminate the guilt and shame that keep you from moving forward. Remember you cannot accomplish anything if you are stuck in blaming yourself, so concentrate on what is essential and get rid of anything that isn’t serving you well.

There will be times you don’t like yourself. When we don’t know who to blame we blame ourselves; when we don’t know who to hate, we hate ourselves. But that’s OK when you know you can improve and that there will be second chances. Concentrate on doing what you know and doing your best.

The way you think about yourself determines your reality. We imprison ourselves when we allow outside negative circumstances to dictate how we should feel. You can dwell in that cell, but only you can exonerate yourself. You are not being hurt by the way people think about you—much of which is a reflection of how you think about yourself to begin with.

You can hold on to disappointment, hate and even the bitterness, but you have to let go of the blame. The blame is what’s tearing you down.

Lead From Within: If you spend a lot of time blaming yourself, ask yourself this question: If you had a person in your life treating you the way you treat yourself, wouldn’t you have gotten rid of them a long time ago? Stop blaming yourself and give yourself a break.

Lolly Daskal is the president and Founder of Lead From Within a consulting firm specializing in executive leadership coaching and customized leadership programs. Connect with Lolly Daskal

Additional Reading:

• At The Risk Of Being Changed


• The Power Of Parting: 7 Things You Need To Stop Doing 


• Lead From Where You Are And With All That You 


• The Wisdom Of Whole Hearted Leading

Photo Credit: Getty Images

The post Blame Is What Is Tearing You Down appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

Stand In Your Discomfort With Comfort

A man on a weekend hike spotted a cocoon. Looking closely, he saw a small opening. He watched amazed as the butterfly struggled to force its body through hole and out of the cocoon. It seemed to be stuck.

So the man took his pocket knife and cut through the cocoon. The butterfly emerged easily, but its body was swollen and its wings were shriveled. It was unable to fly.

In his kindness, the man did not realize that the butterfly’s struggle through the opening of the cocoon was nature’s way of forcing fluid from its body into its wings.

We may often wish for our business to go more smoothly and our lives to be easier. Sometimes the struggle and demands leave us feeling like a failure, and we can’t see that we’re making any progress at all.

But the times that are the most difficult are the times that give us our wings and help us eventually fly.

So if you are upset and frustrated by the struggles you’re going through, remember no one soars too high if they soars with their own wings.

Every discomfort is pushing us to the next level. It’s easier to live with comfort, no doubt, but the sign that something truly amazing is about to happen will always come when we cross the border out of our comfort zone.

Every mistake is teaching and helping us. Mistakes are not just inevitable but necessary; it’s the way we think about them that needs to change. Mistakes are the pathway for acquiring knowledge. When you make a mistake, tell yourself, “I did not have enough information and now I am acquiring more.”

Every failure gives us a chance to try again and work for meaning. We can only be truly successful after we have failed—and failed many times. Staying safely successful is the most dangerous thing of all.

Every miscalculation shows us how to calculate more accurately. So often we try to cover up miscalculations because we feel betrayed by our judgment. We say, “I should have known better!” But maybe we’re learning exactly what we need to learn, and we’re asking too much too soon of ourselves.

Before we can acquire the kind of success that brings more meaning and not just more wealth, we will struggle, miscalculate, misunderstand, and make many mistakes. All of this is necessary, all of this is normal, all of this is acceptable.

We all have to struggle and strive because there is far more to us than we can imagine. When life and business become too much, we must prepare ourselves to accept the struggles in order to obtain the wealth of meaning.

Lead From Within: How we manage our feelings and stay in charge in times of struggle will determine how we earn our wings.

Lolly Daskal is the president and Founder of Lead From Within a consulting firm specializing in executive leadership coaching and customized leadership programs. Connect with Lolly Daskal

Additional Reading:

• At The Risk Of Being Changed


• The Power Of Parting: 7 Things You Need To Stop Doing 


• Lead From Where You Are And With All That You 


• The Wisdom Of Whole Hearted Leading

Photo Credit: Getty Images

 

The post Stand In Your Discomfort With Comfort appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

At the Intersection of Must And Want We Find Ourselves

We’ve all heard the  word must too many times: You must take that job, you must have that career, you must be that kind of leader, you must be clever, you must have all the answers, you must be at all meetings, you must be perfect, you must be smart, you must be on time, you must always be right, you must travel for work, you must not miss that deadline, you must say the right thing, you must not express your feelings, you must . . . .

Sometimes all our musts add up to a whole bunch of I don’t want to!

When we say we must do something it gives us a urgency that detracts from what we want. Is there anything we really must do or be or say or think?

Decision making often takes us to a crossroads, an intersection where we choose either what we want or what we’ve been told we must.

Must is what other people want for you, not what we want for yourself. When you adopt someone else’s standards and values, you’re surrendering your own needs and giving up who you are for another. Sometimes the musts end up accommodating all the things you don’t want and pressuring you to be something you aren’t.

Must makes you feel to say what you feel when all you want is to tell your truth. If you see injustice at work do you feel free to speak up? If you see a colleague being berated by your boss, do you feel you have to bite your tongue? Must too often prevents us from expressing our values, feelings, and judgments.

Must keeps you from thinking for yourself and standing out. Is your organization led by consensus, or does the leader make decisions single-handedly? Do you have a voice, or are you in a place where your ideas and opinions aren’t welcome? Must can keep us from individual thought and expression—and therefore from coming into our own professionally.

It’s not a question of absolutes. People work and gain valuable experience everyday in companies where they feel constrained in their individual expression and ideas. And most of us feel, at some level, hemmed in by too many musts.

The trouble comes when we become so unfamiliar with our wants that we forget they exist, when we forget that living with all the musts isn’t the only option.

Our wants are not someone else’s ideas for us but our own ideas for ourselves. It’s not someone else’s version of ourselves but our own authentic self speaking up and saying how we feel.

It’s not easy being caught between must and want. But each one of us needs to define our personal boundaries and learn not to compromise them or dismiss our wants.

Lead From Within: At the intersection between want and must, it’s up to you to decide how to be authentic yourself.

Lolly Daskal is the president and Founder of Lead From Within a consulting firm specializing in executive leadership coaching and customized leadership programs. Connect with Lolly Daskal

Additional Reading:

• At The Risk Of Being Changed


• The Power Of Parting: 7 Things You Need To Stop Doing 


• Lead From Where You Are And With All That You 


• The Wisdom Of Whole Hearted Leading

Photo Credit: Getty Images

The post At the Intersection of Must And Want We Find Ourselves appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

There Is No Significance Without Character

He walked into our coaching session smug and proud. He did not think he needed a coach.

He didn’t want to work on self –development, nor did he think he needed to. He felt he was fine as he was, successful as he could be and wealthy as he should be for a man in his position.

But we soon found out that he appeared much more confident, much more in control, and much more smug than he really was.

Most of us have well-developed strategies for how to achieve career success. But when it comes to character development, we’re too often willing to leave it up to chance—and sometimes we all need help.

Here are some strategies to build your character while you’re building your career:

Pride will leave you with nothing. Leaders who wear their pride like a badge of honor are misleading themselves. Pride makes it hard to deal with the reality of your true self; it deludes you into thinking you are the author of your own life. Humility is the cornerstone of great character.

Overconfidence will always bite you. We live in a culture where we advertise our overconfidence and promote ourselves with enormous arrogance. To lead with character, you must be able to surrender to something within and see beyond what you show others. Have enough conviction in yourself that you don’t have to mask it in overconfidence.

If you wait until you’re ready, you’ll wait for the rest of your life. Perfectionism is the killer of progress; when we feel we have to be perfect we tend to experience the gravity of our limitations. The job of the wise leader is to swallow perfectionism. Be the leader who is about moving forward and don’t allow perfectionism to get in the way of progress.

Your character is what you choose to make it. Those who are acutely aware of their flaws believe that character is built in the struggle against our own weaknesses. That makes it strategic to spend time learning about yourself—inside and out. The most successful leaders know their strengths, but they’re also able to confront their flaws.

Coaching is the universal language for learning and growing No person can achieve self-actualization on their own. The best strategy for cultivating character is to find a supportive coach, attentive mentor, or someone you admire to help you along the way. Everybody needs assistance from those that can offer support and inspire us to be better people. When you are in the company of people of good character, you absorb some of their best traits.

Success can last a lifetime but significance can last much longer. You probably know someone significant—someone who’s built a strong inner character and achieved a certain depth. They’re often nearing the end of their struggle, and they work to build significance that doesn’t just endure throughout this lifetime but continues long thereafter.

The essence of life and our leadership is to confront yourself and have strategies that will construct your character—the quality that fuels your leadership and significance.

Lead From Within: As you learn the vocabulary of character you’ll be prepared to incorporate them into your life every time you lose your way.

 

Lolly Daskal is the president and Founder of Lead From Within a consulting firm specializing in executive leadership coaching and customized leadership programs. Connect with Lolly Daskal

Additional Reading:

• At The Risk Of Being Changed


• The Power Of Parting: 7 Things You Need To Stop Doing 


• Lead From Where You Are And With All That You 


• The Wisdom Of Whole Hearted Leading

Photo Credit: Getty Images

The post There Is No Significance Without Character appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

The Fine Line Between Friendship and Leadership

The old school of leadership will tell you that leaders and bosses can’t be friends because it may lead to favoritism.

The new school of leadership says there is a way to be friends without compromising relationships or undermining alliances.

Leadership is all about relationships—the connections we make, the friendships we create. So how can friendship and leadership coexist?

In fact, the two types of relationships have more in common than you’d expect. Here are some of the shared traits:

Altruism. Like friendship, true leadership involves selflessness and concern for the well-being of another. It may mean putting your people ahead of yourself, looking out for the other person, or acting in a way that benefits another. It comes down to bringing out the best in those you lead and befriend.

Loyalty. Both friendship and leadership are about devotion. Allegiance and faithfulness call for us to be steadfast and dependable. Loyalty requires responsibility and commitment.

Honesty. Like friendship, true leadership having integrity, encouraging others to speak up and tell their truth. It means expecting leaders to be honest and frank (although never unkind) with their feedback and communication. When we are able to communicate honestly, we are holding up a mirror to each other that makes for the best leadership and friendship.

Trust. Like friendship, true leadership trust means having confidence in each other, the faith that if anything goes wrong you will be there for each other, and the certainty that no matter how much you err or fail you will never be left behind. Trust in leadership and friendship gives us someone to rely on.

Reciprocity. Like friendship, true leadership is a give and take. It reflects the practice of sharing and exchanging, knowing how to give and take with generosity.

Compassion. Both friendship and leadership bring concerns about the suffering of others. It’s an attitude that calls us to reach out when there needs to be a listening ear and to be open when there needs to be understanding—all with sympathy, warmth, and kindness. Great leadership involves respect and great friendship involves tenderness; both open our hearts to others.

Maybe the philosophers said it best:

Emerson said friendship is supreme truth of truth and tenderness.

Aristotle said friendship it is holding a mirror to each other.

Thoreau said friendship is the grand stake for which the game of life is played.

C.S. Lewis said friendship is one of those things that gives you a value for survival.

So as you walk the fine line between friendship and leadership, remember the importance and interconnectedness of both.

Lead From Within: As leaders, let’s cultivate relationships were we match their efforts, respect their hustle, support their ambition, protect their heart, value their loyalty and uplift their spirits. When we do, the fine line between leadership and friendship is rendered invisible.

Lolly Daskal is the president and Founder of Lead From Within a consulting firm specializing in executive leadership coaching and customized leadership programs. Connect with Lolly Daskal

Continue Reading:

The Wisdom Of Whole Hearted Leading
Codes Of Conduct To Lead
Let Your Leadership Speak For Itself
Lead By Example Others Will Follow

Photo Credit: Getty Images

The post The Fine Line Between Friendship and Leadership appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

Communication Mistakes to Avoid in A Difficult Conversation

Some time or another everyone faces a time when a difficult conversation is necessary. It’s in those moments that your true leadership is tested.

You may be dealing with an underperforming employee, disagreeing with a spouse, or negotiating with a client. Difficult conversations come in all forms, but they have one thing in common: They’re not easy.

We all enjoy challenging others, helping them find their potential, motivating and inspiring them. But sometimes what we are called to do involves conveying bad news in challenging times—and our role as leaders is to have the courage to do it in a spirit of learning and exploration.

When the conversation is difficult and the stakes are high, the same communication mistakes that can create problems for you at any time become especially important.

Here’s a refresher course on how not to make things even harder:

Don’t assume. Don’t assume that people know what is going on—or that they know anything. As a leader, it’s your job to bring as much clarity as possible, so start at the beginning. People are looking to you to know what is going on and to share it with them concisely, clearly, and with candor. While you don’t want to provide irrelevant details that are likely to distract and confuse people, telling a story that everyone can understand with information they can comprehend will keep your credibility high.

Don’t hide your feelings. When times are tough, emotions are raw. And when you’re feeling overwhelmed, you might attempt to hide your feelings out of fear of looking weak or vulnerable. But showing your emotions (ideally without losing it) lets those around us know there’s strength in vulnerability. A tender heart is as important as a tough mind.

Don’t ignore who you are. Sometimes to save face we act like what is happening around us isn’t what’s happening within us. That approach never serves anyone; it just makes you look and sound disconnected, disoriented and disheartening.

Don’t shut down. When conversations are difficult, bring a mindset of inquiry. Be open to hearing what the other person has to say and observing how they seem to be feeling. A good leader remains open and seeks a greater truth in any situation. This approach puts everyone at ease and helps keep people at their best.

Don’t judge. People are going to have a reaction to your message. Be the kind of leader who listens to the meaning of what people are not saying. Listen to the silence between the words not spoken. Listen to the feeling behind the words that are spoken.

Communicating well is difficult, especially when emotions are running high and no one is at their best.

But the more you can remain the leader who leads from within, the one who is open-minded and open-hearted, the better you will be able to connect and engage with your team even in the worst of times.

Lead From Within: When situations are difficult, conversation is difficult. Trials test who we are and what we will do; they test our warriorship as leaders, drawing us to awaken our empathetic mind and our sympathetic heart. And when we do, we will be the kind of leaders we were meant to be.

 

Lolly Daskal is the president and Founder of Lead From Within a consulting firm specializing in executive leadership coaching and customized leadership programs. Connect with Lolly Daskal

Additional Reading:

• At The Risk Of Being Changed


• The Power Of Parting: 7 Things You Need To Stop Doing 


• Lead From Where You Are And With All That You 


• The Wisdom Of Whole Hearted Leading

Photo Credit: Getty Images

The post Communication Mistakes to Avoid in A Difficult Conversation appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

The Up Side To Swimming With Sharks

Fresh fish has long been an important part of the Japanese diet, but the challenges of meeting the demand was overtaxing the area’s waters.

To solve the problem, fishing companies acquired bigger boats that could go farther out. But—as is often the case—the solution brought with it a different problem.

Longer trips to more distant waters meant the fish had to be frozen on the boats. But frozen fish didn’t suit the refined Japanese taste in seafood, and prices for the frozen fish quickly dropped.

So it came to the next idea—installing fish tanks in place of the freezers. After a little thrashing around, the fish became listless and apathetic—and their lethargy, like freezing, affected the taste of the final product. Consumers were still unsatisfied, and the industry was in crisis.

Then they came up with a brilliant solution to keep the fish tasting fresh. They added a small shark to each of the fish tanks. Fearful of the shark, the fish were constantly on the move—keeping them active and therefore fresh.

Just like those fish, we all sometimes are in situations where we don’t want to be, racing to stay ahead at whatever is nipping at us. But it’s not 100 percent bad (well, at least not for us—it’s hard to find an up side from the fish’s perspective).

Here are some of the benefits of being thrown in with a shark or two:

Sharks keep you fresh. To solve the challenges that face us, whether they’re everyday or extraordinary, means finding an innovative way to transform the source of the challenge. That’s a task that’s much easier to do when you can draw on the power of staying fresh, using new experiences to shape old ideas.

Sharks keep you engaged. Indifference is no longer an option. Every day is infused with your mission and the goals that will help you achieve it.

Sharks keep you challenged. Many people are mistrustful, even frightened, of new ideas. They buck at the idea that something will be challenging. But as leaders and innovators, we welcome challenges as the way to our greatest achievements.

Sharks won’t let you quit. Leaders are called to be tenacious. Cowards never start, the weak don’t finish, and leaders never quit. The right challenges and engagement won’t leave you any room to even think about it.

Sharks keep you on the move. As with the fish, a stagnant existence comes with bad side effects. Leadership favors those who are on the move, those who take action, those who come up with creative solutions.

When you least expect it, life may send you a challenge to test your courage, the best leaders, the most successful people, learn the up side of swimming with the sharks, they are ready.

Don’t allow yourself to be overwhelmed by your challenges; instead, view them with a fresh, challenging mind and discover what you can learn from them, because you usually face your greatest opposition when you’re closest to your biggest innovation.

Lead From Within: Life is about keeping us fresh It’s about being bold and staying ahead of the sharks. Because being challenged in life is inevitable, but defeat is not.

Lolly Daskal is the president and Founder of Lead From Within a consulting firm specializing in executive leadership coaching and customized leadership programs. Connect with Lolly Daskal

Additional Reading:

Focus On The Things You Can Do Something About
At The Risk Of Being Changed
The Power Of Parting: 7 Things You Need To Stop Doing
Lead From Where You Are And With All That You

Photo Credit: Getty Images

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Make Sure You’re Stepping Forward, Not On

Working with organizations you meet all kinds of people. There are those who step forward with genuine interest to help and learn—and then there are those whose idea of moving forward is to step over others.

You might not recognize these people at first, because they like to talk about being of service and make a show of being obliging. But their actual agenda has nothing to do with helping anyone but with covering up the limitations of their leadership.

Here are some signs of those who are busy stepping on while they move forward.

They align themselves with others because they feel alone. They like to think that if they align themselves with leaders, that makes them leaders too. But of course it doesn’t really work that way. A true leader has merits and an inner moral compass that is reflected in everything they do. True leadership is a direct reflection of character.

They take credit because they have not accomplished much on their own. We’ve all seen it happen—a team works with intelligence, imagination, and hard work, and the person at the top of the organization takes the credit. A true leader knows in their heart that anything worthwhile is done with others, and that success is shared.

They talk like leaders because they’re trying to fake it till they make it. They may be gifted writers or speakers—but when it comes to leadership in the trenches, they wouldn’t know the first thing to do. True leaders are created in the situations that are difficult—where challenges need solutions, where problems need vision—not with words.

They grab the limelight because their corner is always dark. There’s a need for attention and deferential behavior that’s grounded in a deep need to be noticed. True leaders have a light shine on them organically. They don’t chase the light or grab it—it comes to them naturally through their enthusiasm and spirit.

If your actions are about contribution to the well-being of those you come in contact with and you are a positive force, you’re a true leader.

But if your actions are only about your own personal security and benefit at the cost of others, you’re a leader who is stepping forward while stepping on people. While you may get what you want in the short run. In the long run, character and true leadership build an enduring legacy.

Lead From Within: True leaders do not focus on their own edification and glory but on helping others to succeed. They don’t need to compensate for their limitations but instead work to overcome them.

Lolly Daskal is the president and Founder of Lead From Within a consulting firm specializing in executive leadership coaching and customized leadership programs. Connect with Lolly Daskal

Additional Reading:

• At The Risk Of Being Changed


• The Power Of Parting: 7 Things You Need To Stop Doing 


• Lead From Where You Are And With All That You 


• The Wisdom Of Whole Hearted Leading

Photo Credit: Getty Images

The post Make Sure You’re Stepping Forward, Not On appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

Ground Yourself in the Power of Your Purpose

A long time ago, the trees went out to anoint a king.

They first said to the olive tree, “Reign over us.” The olive tree answered, “And stop producing my rich oil? I will not.”

Then the trees asked the fig tree. But the fig tree answered them, “And stop producing my delicious fruit? I will not.”

Next they asked the vine, “Come and reign over us.” But the vine said, “And stop producing my wine? I will not.”

About to give up, the trees made one last attempt and asked the bramble. And the bramble said, “If in good faith you are anointing me king over you, then come and take refuge in my shade.”

It’s wonderful to see in this story how each tree knows its unique purpose: The olive tree makes oil, the fig tree produces sweet fruit, the vine makes grapes for wine, and the bramble brush is for shade. Each tree knows its true purpose and stands firmly planted.

How many times are you approached with a new project, new product, new venture, new idea, and as a result find yourself jumping from circumstance to opportunity?

Can you truly say you’re sticking with your purpose, or that you’re sure that you’re planted in the best role?

Our purpose has the power to ground us.

But how do you know if you are rooted in that purpose?

Ask yourself the following questions…

What makes me different?

When leaders that I work with ask me how they can differentiate themselves from the rest, I remind them: The first person you will lead is you. If you lack purpose look within. Ask yourself what stirs your heart, what comes from the depths of who you are and what you believe in. Your purpose draws on your natural gifts and talents. It comes from your past and your history; it comes from what you love doing. It meets your needs.

How can I serve others?

A clearly defined purpose comes from prioritizing your own abilities and working towards empowering others to their potential. True purpose is not awarded or not appointed, it comes only from genuine love for people. Its best measure comes from serving others—nothing more, nothing less.

How will I make a difference?

If you seek purpose, you need to know that everything comes with discipline and prioritizing. You can multiply the good you do by being a model for others to see how to identify what’s important, make it a priority, and have the discipline to live out that priority every day.

When it comes to living your purpose and leading with meaning, commitment and effectiveness are your foundation.

Lead From Within:  Make sure you touch a dozen lives before the day is done and leave your mark even as you rest in the shade of the trees.

Lolly Daskal is the president and Founder of Lead From Within a consulting firm specializing in executive leadership coaching and customized leadership programs. Connect with Lolly Daskal

Additional Reading:

• At The Risk Of Being Changed


• The Power Of Parting: 7 Things You Need To Stop Doing 


• Lead From Where You Are And With All That You 


• The Wisdom Of Whole Hearted Leading

Photo Credit: Getty Images

 

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