Lolly Daskal's Blog, page 104
May 16, 2017
The Deception Trap of Leadership
In my last post, “The Remarkable Power of the Truth Teller” we touched upon the idea that people do lie and stretch the truth.
The price of lying is often a high one: being known as a deceiver.
If a leader lies, people cannot trust them.
If your boss lies, you cannot rely on them.
If your manager lies, you cannot count on them.
If your colleague lies, you cannot hold confidence in them.
The lack of trust is a high price to pay for deception, and it can cause a great trap—one that the deceiver isn’t even aware of. But you can identify deceivers by these traits, which are among side effects of deception:
Emotionally manipulative. Often deceivers will ask you to choose or pressure you to say that you trust them and rely on them—although in truth the only thing they’re concerned with is whether they can count on you. Unreliable themselves, they question everything.
Notorious blamers. Deceivers never take accountability or responsibility. They’re great at blaming others for everything and anything that goes wrong. They’re quick to point a finger instead of saying, I messed up, I am sorry. The more in the wrong they are the quicker they will be to blame others.
Professional bait and switchers. Deceivers may convince you that you have their commitment and support but even a minor challenge or situation or change in conditions will be enough to send them running.
Remarkably charming. Deceivers are often quite charming—it’s one of the tools they use to take advantage of others. They know how to get your attention, even if they don’t know how to keep it.
Any practice of deception on your own part will derail your leadership in the blink of an eye. That’s why you need to learn to leverage the parts of yourself that lend themselves to deception. Some examples
Don’t let pride get the best of you. Sometimes we become deceivers because we feel inadequate about who we are. You may feel that you don’t measure up to those around you, and suffer from feelings of insecurity and self-doubt, so you take the other direction. Don’t allow pride to become arrogance—work on bringing out the best parts of who you are and celebrate them with humility.
Stop obscuring the truth. Self-deception obscures the truth about who you are and corrupts the views others have of you. The truth is your future, and it depends on how well you manage today. Ask yourself whether a lack of clarity is helpful or just comfortable.
Admit when you are wrong. The best leaders admit when they have made a mistake. They’re brave enough to say “I messed up and I will do better next time.” Great power lies in telling the truth. We’re not perfect and we mess up and we have to say we are wrong—there’s nothing more human.
Learn to be flexible. The best leaders know that to be great leaders they must become flexible and agile enough to change with the times. Nothing will ever remain the same as a leader; you have to learn to go with the flow.
Lead from within: When you stop deceiving and instead speak the truth about what makes you feel ashamed, vulnerable or inadequate, you are one step closer to achieving greatness within.
Learn more about The Deceiving Leader in my new book:
The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness
After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.
Additional Reading you might enjoy:
The Remarkable Power of the Truth Teller
The Test Every Great Leader Must Pass
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
To Trust Means To Be Careless
Photo Credit: Getty Images
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May 12, 2017
Business Builder Podcast with Marty Wolff and Lolly Daskal
Lolly Daskal’s new book is The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness..
There were several pauses during this interview……………….Lolly’s comments were making me think deeply about my own leadership style and leadership gaps. What a POWERFUL interview!
AND, what a powerful book…………………BONUS..……go to www.theleadershipgapbook.com to buy one or more copies of Lolly’s book and get the bonuses she describes in the interview. MUST be done BEFORE the book is released! Do it now…..go to www.theleadershipgapbook.com
Special thanks to Lolly Daskal for being a very special guest.
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May 11, 2017
Finding Virtues in Your Flaws
The human spirit’s one of light and darkness, wins and loses, strengths and weaknesses. Lolly Daskal, known as “the most inspirational woman in the world” according to Huffington Post, shares her insight on why you NEED both dark and light, to make you whole.
Lolly’s one of the most sought-after executive leadership coaches in the world. Her extensive cross-cultural expertise spans 14 countries, six languages and hundreds of companies. Lolly’s founder and CEO of Lead From Within and her perspective on leadership from nearly thirty years coaching top executives continues to break new ground and produce extraordinary results. Of her many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Experts by Inc. magazine. Her writing’s appeared in Harvard Business Review, Inc.com, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and more.
Your path to greatness lies within your virtues – both the good and the bad. It’s time to rethink your possibilities and unlock your meaningful life!
Key Takeaways:
Thriving outside the bubble. All around people are looking outside of themselves to find purpose, searching for validation that they truly matter. But how do we break the cycle of living our life through others expectations? Our BIGGEST MISTAKE of how we fall into this trap is…[10:20].
Filling in BIG shoes. When you begin to step into your true self and own it, the world will notice. Others will be influenced and your confidence will radiate. That’s what being a leader looks like. Sound intimidating? Knowing THIS will encourage you to strap on your leadership shoes and keep them on…[17:50].
Echoing your greatness. Repeat after us: greatness lies within you. Lolly identifies her list of seven universal archetypes and shares how each highlights a specific virtue that’ll influence your quest to greatness. Learn which archetype you are AND what it reveals about you at…[21:17].
Leveragingallflaws. There’s something that gets between you and your greatness. It follows you like a shadow and gets heavy when you’re stressed, overworked, and exhausted. Don’t fret! THIS is the way to bring light into the darkness of self-doubt…[25:01].
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May 10, 2017
Closing Your Leadership Gap with Lolly Daskal
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Leaders are coaches. They ask the right questions and they deliver messages with empathy. Lolly Daskal, founder of Lead from Within and the most inspiring person in the world according to the Huffington Post, shares with Kevin her thoughts on coaching and how it can be used to empower and engage people to reach their potential.
In this episode, Kevin and Lolly discuss:
Heart based leadership.
Leadership gaps and how to close them.
Giving effective feedback.
Who are you while you are leading?
– Lolly Daskal
Ask yourself: What did you do great today? What can you do better tomorrow?
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The Gap that Keeps You from Your Greatness
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Being a leader takes a lot more than just telling people what to do. It’s about accountability and impact. As individuals, we are capable of so much more than we could even imagine at times. We are all naturally polar with our personalities, and until we learn to own those sides, we won’t be able to reach our true potential as leaders. We must be whole in order to help others or even help ourselves.
Lolly Daskal joins us this week to discuss her latest book, “The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness.”
THE HERO WARRIOR
“We are all capable of greatness, but some of us do not choose it.”-Lolly Daskal
Highlights:
If you’re influencing or impacting someone, you are a leader.
The way to show up to be a leader is to lead from within.
We are always in a leadership role!
Position yourself to receive.
Truth tellers stand in their greatness.
You have a choice in every moment.
What you don’t own, owns you.
In order to be who you want to be, you have to own both sides of who you are.
Which polarity will you stand in? Your greatness, or your gaps.
Guest Contact:
Lolly’s Twitter
Lolly’s Website
Lolly’s Books
Preorder Lolly’s book “The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness” before May 16th for free bonus offers!
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What’s Getting Between You and Your Greatness
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Ask yourself, “who are you being?”
You’ve got to have the foundation right before you get everything else right
Having confidence in yourself and in your competence can transform your journey
If a leader is saying “I” more than “we”, it’s not leadership.
Don’t think you know everything
Revisit the things that have impacted you
You’ve got to be who you are and celebrate that
Closing Lines:
What you give, you’ll receive
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What Gets Between You and Your Leadership Greatness with Lolly Daskal
“If you are not a leader who can empower others that means you can’t empower yourself”
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May 9, 2017
The Remarkable Power of the Truth Teller
We cannot open a newspaper, turn on our computer, or flip through our feeds, before we find that someone has lied about something. Lying is both ubiquitous and consequential—but why do we lie?
Science says we learn to deceive as toddlers. We rationalize the fabrications that benefit us. We tell little white lies daily that make others feel good.
In one study, 60 percent of people lied at least once during a 10-minute conversation, saying an average of 2.92 inaccurate things.
Psychologists say, most lies are tied to self-esteem: as soon as someone feels a little bit threatened, they immediately begin to lie at higher levels.
I think we lie for a few reasons:
We want to both look good when we are in the company of others.
We want to maintain a view of ourselves that is consistent with
the way they would like us to be.
We don’t want to hurt people with bad news or information.
Whatever the reason, a lie today will have major consequences tomorrow.
If you’re in a powerful position or leadership role in which people look up to you, you’re expected to lead in integrity and truth. If leaders lie, how can they ever be trusted?
In my leadership coaching, one of the most important things I teach my clients, is the remarkable power of being the truth teller and what it takes to speak with candor:
A truth teller will communicate and not hold back. Communicate, communicate, communicate. That’s the role of a leader. If you hold back, people will know something’s going on, and they’ll fill the gap with gossip, paranoia, and suspicion—wreaking havoc on the culture of your organization. Be the leader who tells the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
A truth teller will create a culture of candor. Instead of blaming others when things go wrong, look for solutions, and create an environment where people feel it’s OK to mess up and make mistakes. Cultivate an environment in which owning up to your mistakes is OK, and it’s safe to fail. the best way you can lead your people is to provide them with the resources they need to do their jobs well.
A truth teller eliminates barricades. As a leader, you have the power—and the obligation—to get rid of anything that prevents people from performing at their best. Keep processes and policies down to a minimum and make sure they don’t keep people working harder and not smarter. Eliminate any barriers that keep people from telling complicated or unwelcome truths. Celebrate the truth by speaking the truth as their leader.
A truth teller models high standards. Set the standards high and people will work hard to reach them. That means no bullies, no racism, no intolerance, no deceivers, no cheat—and you keep those standards by meeting them yourself. Make truth a consistent part of our own leadership and business, and others will follow.
A truth teller gives us reasons to be better than we are. When things are bad or difficult or stressful, our initial reaction is to hide and withhold. But the remarkable power in telling the truth is to let people know they can be part of the solution, and they can be part of something bigger than themselves. As a leader you can provide them with a compelling vision that gives them reason to be better than they are.
Lead from Within: Great leaders are remarkable truth tellers. They know that honest hearts produce honest actions.
Learn more about the TRUTH TELLER in my new book:
The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness
After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.
Additional Reading you might enjoy:
The Test Every Great Leader Must Pass
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
To Trust Means To Be Careless
Photo Credit: Getty Images
The post The Remarkable Power of the Truth Teller appeared first on Lolly Daskal.
May 8, 2017
Coaching for Leaders: What Gets Between You and Greatness
Lolly Daskal: The Leadership GapLolly Daskal is the CEO of Lead From Within and was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc. magazine. She is the author of the the new book The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness*.
Key Points
If the situation isn’t working, what can you change about yourself?
Ask yourself what type of person you need to be in a situation.
There are aspects of ourselves that come out in times of stress.
When you’re aware of your actions, you can choose how you’re going to act in the next moment.
Allow your employees to teach you.
Resources Mentioned
The Leadership Gap website
The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness* by Lolly Daskal
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