Marc Chernoff's Blog, page 57

20 Things You Need to Stop Wasting Your Time On

“Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that’s the stuff life is made of.”
— Benjamin Franklin

I recently received a thank you email from a reader and course student named Hope. She said our work helped motivate her through an arduous recovery process following a serious car accident last year. Although her entire story was both heartbreaking and inspiring, this one line made me pause and think:

“The happiest moment of my life is still that split-second a year ago when, as I laid crushed under a 2000 pound car, I realized my husband and 9-year-old boy were out of the vehicle and absolutely OK.”

Dire moments like this force us to (more…)

7 Good Things You Will Gain When You Let Go of Control

When you try to control too much, you enjoy too little. Sometimes you just need to let go, relax, take a deep breath, and love what is.

This morning I met up with an old friend, someone whom I care about deeply but have internally struggled with for years because I’ve always been worried about her health.

I want to help her heal, because I feel I’m losing her.

I want to teach her the time-tested tools for living a happier, simpler, healthier life that I’ve helped so many other people with — so she can give up her addictions, take up exercise and mindfulness, nurture her needs, and suddenly be transformed into a healthy person again.

But that’s not reality. I want to control something that frightens me, but I can’t do anything about it. Because I’m not in control of anyone but myself. I want to help my friend, but she’s not interested in being helped. She has actually told me so a dozen times in the past.

So today, I let go.

Not “let go” as in “let her go.” I “let go” as in I stopped (more…)

One Surprisingly Small Step that Will Change Your Whole Life

Too often people overestimate the significance of one big defining moment and underestimate the value of making good decisions and small steps of progress on a daily basis.

You’re probably familiar with what’s known as the Serenity Prayer. It goes like this:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

There’s an important lesson here — one that’s very often glossed over…

When a chaotic reality is swirling around us, we often try to relieve our anxiety by exerting our will over external things we cannot control.

It helps us stave off one of the most dreaded feelings: complete powerlessness.

With that in mind, I have good news and bad news.

The bad news is that generally speaking, almost everything is (more…)

An Open Letter to Those Who Don’t Feel “Good Enough” Right Now

Oftentimes the hardest part of the journey is simply believing you’re worthy of the trip.

This short article was inspired by an email we received recently from a new course student:

Dear Marc and Angel,

Life hasn’t been the easiest on me over this past decade. I won’t get into all the details now, but these hard times have left me with many cracks. And although I’ve still managed to be a reasonably successful person, I often struggle desperately with my self-confidence. I just don’t feel good enough most of the time. I feel flawed. I feel like my cracks make me undesirable. It’s all in my head — I know it is! But I really need help shifting my mindset. I need a new outlook. Do you have any insight that might assist me?

Sincerely,
A Shy Student

Our reply (an open reply to all who don’t feel “good enough” right now):

Dear Shy Student,

It’s time for a quick story about life… (more…)

10 Hard Things You Shouldn’t Be Afraid to Do for Yourself

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
— Mae West

This morning a close neighborhood friend, Alison, passed away far too early. While Marc and I have spent most of the day grieving, I’ve also spent this past hour thinking about the fact that our lives are often much shorter than we expect, and that we need to do some pretty darn hard things to maximize our very limited time. Alison strongly believed in doing the hard yet necessary things in life — we talked about this topic on several occasions, and she never backed down from a challenge. So today, I want to reflect on this with you.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you absolutely need to do hard things to be happy in the long run. Because the hard things ultimately build you up and change your life. They make the difference between (more…)

4 Daily Rituals that Will Gradually Grow in Value as You Grow Older

God willing, you will be gifted another decade or more of life experience.

But even if you aren’t, the core principle of this article remains relevant:

As you age, you will learn to value your time, genuine relationships, meaningful work, and peace of mind, much more. Little else will matter.

Deep down you know this already though, right?

Yet today, just like the majority of us, you are distracted by almost everything else.

You give too much of your time to (more…)

10 Harsh Realities that Will Help You Grow

All the world is full of suffering. It is also full of overcoming.
— Helen Keller

Character and wisdom are both sculpted over time. These qualities come with loss, lessons, and triumphs. They come after doubts, second guesses, and exploring unknowns. If there was a definitive path to personal growth, everyone would be on it.

Truth be told, the seeds of your progress are often planted in your past failures. Some of your best stories will likely come from overcoming your greatest struggles. And your praises will be birthed from your growing pains.

Marc and I learned some of this the hard way. Over the past fifteen years we have dealt with several significant hardships, including the sudden death of (more…)

4 Life Lessons You Will Gradually Learn as You Let Go of the Past

If somebody is working on themselves and changing for the better, it’s unnecessary to keep bringing up their past. People can change and grow. You know that’s true. But have you given yourself a fair chance to change and grow, too?

Have you consciously loosened your grip on what’s behind you, so you can step forward again with grace?

If you’re shaking your head, you aren’t alone. At times we all fall victim to our attachments. We simply don’t realize how often we block our own present blessings by holding on to the past.

Thus, it’s time for a quick true story about life and letting go…

When Our Old Stories Hold Us Back

She rarely makes eye contact. Instead, she looks down at the ground. Because the ground is safer. Because unlike people, it (more…)

Try Again: How to Restore the Unwavering Faith You Once Had in Yourself

When I was a high school freshman, a 260-pound freshman girl showed up for track and field tryouts right alongside me. Her name was Sara, and she was only there because her doctor said her health depended on it. But once she scanned the crowd of students who were on the field, she turned around and began walking away. Coach O’Leary saw her, jogged over, and turned her back around.

“I’m not thin enough for this sport!” Sara declared. “And I’ll never be! It’s impossible for me to lose enough weight. I’ve tried.”

Coach O’Leary nodded, and promised Sara that her body type wasn’t suited for her current weight. “It’s suited for 220 pounds,” he said.

Sara looked confused. “Most people tell me I need to lose 130 pounds,” she replied. “But you think I only need to lose 40?”

Coach O’Leary (more…)

31 Gentle Journaling Prompts that Will Change the Way You Think and Begin Your Days

Daily journaling is a voyage to inner peace.

Oprah keeps a journal. Taylor Swift keeps a journal. Eminem keeps a journal. Successful people all over the world — those who consistently make positive changes in their lives — reflect daily and learn from their life experiences. And they often use some kind of journal to accomplish this.

If you want to get somewhere in life, you need a map, and your journal is that map. You can (more…)