Rob Bell's Blog, page 31

Did I WIN this medal?

Kenya’s long-distance runner & two-time Olympic Champion, Kip Keino uttered these words so athletes would consider performance enhancing drugs. “When you stand on the podium, you must ask yourself, did I win this medal?”

I heard Hall of Fame coach, Joe Gibbs, speak recently. (He is in both the NFL and Nascar Hall of Fame.)  He told stories and talked about his faith and gave everyone a copy of his new book, Game Plan for Life.

He had his 1st Superbowl ring with him and announced that everyone could put on the ring and take their picture with him. I was about 10th in line and sure enough, everyone was putting on the illustrious ring and posing with coach.

When I shook his hand, I told him I grew up in Maryland and was a life-long Redskins fan. He proceeded to give me the ring and ask if I wanted my picture with it.

I told him, “Coach, I know what that ring represents and I didn’t earn it, I can’t put it on.” Joe Gibbs, said “ I appreciate that or respect that” and I had my picture with him while the ring lay on the table. 

Anything worth getting in life, we have to work for. Last time I checked, they don’t give championships, scholarships, high-paying jobs, or Super Bowl rings away!

Maybe that is the issue with motivation in general?  We are given too much, feel we deserve it, and don’t really appreciate it. Or worse, we expect it to be easy to earn.

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Dr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology coach. DRB & Associates based in Indianapolis works with professional athletes & corporate athletes, coaches, and teams building their Mental Toughness.  His 2nd book is titled  The Hinge: The Importance of Mental Toughness . Follow on twitter  @drrobbell   or contact  drrobbell@drrobbell.com

 

 

Can We Hate Ourselves to Success?

The answer is Yes! 

It works! And it is powerful! Although I don’t have research to support this notion, it’s probably the strongest motivator of all… Many successful people were driven and consumed by this over-arching motivation to prove others wrong!

The hatred manifests itself with a belief that “I’m not good enough,” or ”It’s never good enough.” All perfectionists have this mentality. Future Hall of Fame linebacker, Ray Lewis, was driven by bitterness because his father was never around. As a kid, he would do push-ups and sit-ups until he passed out, as a way to deal with the pain.

This mentality of “never being good enough” and hatred is driven by a rage and burning desire to be successful, no matter what. Work Harder! Strive Harder!

It works, but this driver can also easily turn upon itself and become directed inward. It ends up like a torpedo shot from a submarine, which starts looking for any target. Anger directed inward becomes depression.

Unfortunately, this hatred is toxic and it will never lead to happiness. The motivation behind the striving and achieving is skewed. The unquenchable desire for success is that we just don’t like ourselves and we are not good enough. Our belief is that the only way we can become good enough is through our achievement. Life teaches us that we are actually going to lose more than we are ever going to win, and when we win, it’s not for very long.

Even the best athletes at the pinnacle of their success, winning a super bowl, Masters, or US Open can feel lacking…Bernhard Langer after winning the 1985 Masters stated, “I had just won the Masters, I’m driving to Hilton Head with my beautiful young wife, and I felt empty.”

Now, not many will admit that they don’t like themselves. It requires too much rigorous honesty.

The alternative is more difficult and actually requires more work, because we have hated ourselves for not being good enough our entire life. It’s all we know!

The only way to stop hating ourselves is to not judge ourselves. We are often the hanging judge over ourselves and after mistakes and setbacks would pass sentence, “off with our head.” I mean we would never talk to our loved one’s the way we would actually talk to ourselves.

The solution is the realization that we are good enough, we are sanctified, and we are righteous. We then begin to operate from a different set of beliefs. It doesn’t mean the striving ends, but the motivation now stems from a different place and one where we can make a lasting impact and one of significance.

Which mentality are you?

Click here to subscribe to my Friday Mental Toughness newsletter…

Dr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology coach. DRB & Associates based in Indianapolis works with professional athletes & corporate athletes, coaches, and teams building their Mental Toughness.  His 2nd book is titled  The Hinge: The Importance of Mental Toughness . Follow on twitter  @drrobbell   or contact  drrobbell@drrobbell.com

 

My worst mistake as a Sport Psychology coach #Fail

I’ve been in the applied field of Sport Psychology for 10 years, 3+ years entirely as a full-time professional, leaving academia to pursue my passion and start my own business.

Dr. Rob Bell caddying PGA Tour

My major types of clients are professional golfers, and I have caddied on tour since 2006. Caddying was a natural fit because it was a way to morph into an “on the field” coach during actual competition; no better feeling in my opinion.

In 2012, I am caddying for my client during the last PGA Tour event of the year. He is playing well, 1st place after the first round, and although he moved back a bit during the other rounds, he still had a chance to post a top-10 finish.

Fifteen minutes before each round, we always had a coach-up session, where we devised our mental and course game plan. Every day we had the same simple mental game plan because simple is powerful and simple works. Thus, before the last round, he approached me and I laid it out for him (hence the big mistake).

In the past I have used the following game plan and mentality, and it has been successful, so I wasn’t freewheeling at all. However, there is a lot of intuition with coaching and sometimes coaxing. So, when he asked, “what’s our game plan,” I replied with, “It’s your day.”

He walked away immediately shaking his head in disapproval and mentioned how he didn’t really like it and asked if I had anything else? So, ten minutes before tee-time, I tried to justify, defend, and explain my mantra…. What else am I going to say at that point, “It’s NOT your day?” I said it, believing that good things were going to happen and staying with our process that had worked.

He teed off and proceeded to hit the ball in a hazard, took a drop, hit it in the middle of the green, and 3-putted for a double bogey. Walking on to the 2nd tee, he mentioned to me “yep, it’s my day all right.”

Only after a delay in the middle of the fourth fairway, did we have a chance to backtrack and re-focus. He played solid the rest of the day, but in a sport with large purses and where every shot counts, the damage had been done.

It’s Your Day!

The mistake was that I “got in the way” of my athlete. Perhaps, I inadvertently put the focus on factors outside of his control, believing that it was going to be a good day and that good things were going to happen. I also couldn’t account for the fact that he had heard this phrase a long time ago and played horribly.

Nonetheless, I made a mistake. Less is (almost) always more and I broke it. I tried to get creative and go off menu with my coaching style at the moment. It’s still a fault of mine; there are many tools in the shed and I want to use them all, when just one would do. It takes a genius to keep it simple.

Lastly, it was a costly mistake and if we are in a field of coaching and helping people, we are going to make mistakes. It is one true system of really discovering what methods work and what doesn’t in applied settings.

Click here to subscribe to my Friday Mental Toughness newsletter…

Dr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology coach. DRB & Associates based in Indianapolis works with professional athletes & corporate athletes, coaches, and teams building their Mental Toughness.  His 2nd book is titled  The Hinge: The Importance of Mental Toughness . Follow on twitter  @drrobbell   or contact  drrobbell@drrobbell.com

Confident people can do this skill…

Last week, during one round of golf, I actually 3-putted four times….Yeah, brutal. Only after analyzing and anguishing over what happened, I realized something. I never made an adjustment.

Rory McIIory heading into the PGA Championship as the favorite had won back-to-back tournaments, The Open Championship and The Bridgestone Invitational. However at The Memorial in June, he shot a 1st round 63 and followed it with a 78. At The Scottish Open in July, he carded a 1st round 64 and again shot 78 in the 2nd round. What made Rory successful later on was that he made an adjustment…

Confidence lies in the ability to make adjustments. In the classroom, boardroom, or field of play. Those that can make adjustments will be successful. Stubborn people on the other hand make no adjustments (insert definition of insanity here) and sometimes refuse to do.

Fundamentals Never Change!

Adjustments can be physical or mental. It may be a change in attitude or to our routine. Most importantly, however, these adjustments are usually small. Our foundation is solid and all we need to do is make small changes. But it may require asking outside people for their help.

Confident people can make these adjustments because they believe an alteration will make them successful. On the other hand, those that struggle are firmly planted in the belief that a change won’t work.

A boat is off-course 99% of the time. The only way for a boat to reach its destination is to be continually tacking…The best view tacking as The Way to sail, while the stubborn view tacking as stress.

Mental Toughness is being able to deal with the struggle, setbacks, and adversity. How we make adjustments will determine our success.

Dr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology coach. DRB & Associates based in Indianapolis works with professional athletes & corporate athletes, coaches, and teams building their Mental Toughness.  His 2nd book is titled  The Hinge: The Importance of Mental Toughness . Follow on twitter  @drrobbell   or contact  drrobbell@drrobbell.com

 

ONE way to be confident…

(Photo by Steve Bardens/Getty Images)

Everyone faces adversity, encounters struggle, and goes through dry spells. Mental toughness is how we handle, deal, and cope with these setbacks. It’s simple, but it’s just not easy.

Confidence is the most important part of mental toughness and a true indicator of how we handle the struggle… So, here is one way to be confident.

Nothing Bothers You!

Confidence is simply the belief that it will work out. Trust in our team also means we believe that they will get the job done as well. A result of confidence is that the best remain relaxed and don’t freak out when the outcome is not going their way. They trust their process.

The best simply let nothing bother them. They believe in their process so much, that they refuse to let setbacks affect their mindset or their team. It’s amazing to see, but the best manage to keep their poise and focus. Nothing bothers them! They keep their head when others are losing theirs. It is the major impact of confidence and the true test of one’s level of confidence and mental toughness.

Now, we all get stressed, but what is our level of confidence during these times?

The Little Things

It is common for the major changes or setbacks to bother us… However, ever notice when we get stressed that everything seems to bother us, like the person next to us in traffic or our family? When we our confident, these things don’t bother us at all, however they become the first thing to annoy us when we lose our belief that things will work out.

Nothing Bothers You!

We can actually make this mantra a goal to be achieved rather than just an outcome of confidence. The only way we can achieve our goal of “nothing bothers me”, is if we are confident! What we are really agreeing to is the belief that “I don’t need everything to go my way in order to be successful. I believe it will work out and I am going to act as if.” Check out this Golf Channel clip from PGA Tour player Ryan Blaum on his mantra of “nothing bothers him.”

Click here to subscribe to my Friday Mental Toughness newsletter…

Dr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology coach. DRB & Associates based in Indianapolis works with professional athletes & corporate athletes, coaches, and teams building their Mental Toughness.  His 2nd book is titled  The Hinge: The Importance of Mental Toughness . Follow on twitter  @drrobbell   or contact drrobbell@drrobbell.com

Biggest Mental Obstacle ALL Golfers face…

Check out this 5-minute video on The Biggest Mental Obstacle that ALL Golfers Face…

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3 people who took advantage of their Hinge moment!

Every one of us is getting ready for a moment, event, or person that will make all the difference in our lives. However, we just don’t know when or who. In fact, we may not know the impact until weeks, months, or even years after. It’s the reason I wrote The Hinge: The Importance of Mental Toughness.

In order for our Hinge to connect, we need to keep giving ourselves opportunities. Hinge moments require that we stay confident in ourselves to keep connecting with others and striving to get better. However, when we isolate and lose confidence, the Hinge fails to connect. As Ghandi said “you may never know what results come of your action, but if you do nothing, there will be no result.” You must to be ready, because when your opportunity hits, it’s too late to prepare.

Since each of us will have opportunities, here are three (3) people who took advantage of their Hinge moment! 

1. John Brooks-  

getty images

His goal beat Ghana in the 1st round of the World Cup. He became the 1st ever substitute to ever score in a World Cup Match for the United States. He only entered the game at half-time because another player, Matt Besler, was injured. With only four minutes left in the game, it appeared the game was going to be a draw. John Brooks was even on the bubble for making the USA roster. However, he told his teammates, “ I actually dreamt about making a header on a corner kick in the 80th minute to win the game.”

2.  Linda Perry-

flickr

She was the lead singer of 90’s band, 4 Non-blondes, and they had their 15-minutes of fame with the hit, “What’s Going On.” Often as it goes, the success did not last, and a few years later, Linda Perry was sunk….She was completely broke for three weeks, when an unknown artist contacted her and told her how she admired Linda Perry’s earlier work. Linda Perry had just finished writing a song, titled “Get The Party Started.” You guessed it, the unknown artist was Pink and it launched her career.  Linda Perry thereafter has written tons of top songs for artists like Christina Aguilera, Gwen Stefani, & Adam Lambert.

3. Vin Scully-

Vin Scully is the hall-of-fame announcer for the Los Angeles Dodgers. The greatest of all-time has been announcing Dodger games for 65 straight years! He recently called his 19th no-hitter when Clayton Kershaw accomplished it. His Hinge moment occurred when he returned from the Navy and was announcing games for Fordham University.  He sent 150 letters to radio stations all along the east coast and received only 1 reply from CBS Sports Radio. He started working alongside Red Barber and called his 1st game for the Brooklyn Dodgers in 1950.

 

Dr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology coach. DRB & Associates based in Indianapolis works with professional athletes & corporate athletes, coaches, and teams building their Mental Toughness.  His 2nd book titled The Hinge: The Importance of Mental Toughness was recently released. Follow on twitter @drrobbell  or contact drrobbell@drrobbell.com

Click here to subscribe to my Friday Mental Toughness newsletter…

Injured, Now What?

Injuries suck!

They are one of the toughest things an athlete will handle. Often, athletes do not deal well with injuries either. The way athletes cope with life issues is through their sport. If they are playing well, then everything is okay. However, once an athlete is injured, their source of coping is removed and issues can become severe.

Most athletes that are injured and can’t play, experience some sort of depression. They have lost the most precious part of their identity, so they will grieve and not know how to deal. They will become angry, sad, and feel isolated. They immediately become a lesser part of the team; heck even their rehab is done away from the team practice.

Here are a few things I’ve noticed.

Timing is everything

Injuries cause stress and when it is an important part of the season, it is way more difficult for an athlete to handle. In 2008, future Hall of Fame running back, LaDainian Tomlinson was injured in the playoffs and couldn’t play. He was criticized for how he handled the situation as a leader, but this is often what happens when athletes become hurt during critical parts of the season. They simply don’t know how to cope.

On the other hand, injuries that occur in the off-season, or pre-season can be dealt with more care. Depending on the prognosis, there is more hope that they can return, which can provide a motivating fuel for rehab.

Sport Psychology is needed

Coaches are focused on the team and personal they have, so there isn’t much time to devote to an injured athlete. Thus, Athletic Trainers and Sport Psychology coaches are crucial when an athlete is injured. Athletes on the sidelines are more than willing to talk and this is where real support takes place, helping an athlete cope in healthy ways and channel their focus in positive directions.

Return at 100%

Jeff Hanisch/USA TODAY Sports

RGIII of the Washington Redskins made it public that he was going to return for week 1 of the 2013 NFL season. He did, but he was not healthy. I am not certain he was healthy at all last season and he lost confidence and performed poorly.

Athletes almost always return from their injury too soon. In the athletes mind, they feel close to the same as before the injury, however after returning too fast, they soon discover that they are off. They may feel fine for 9 out of 10 plays, but that one play where they can’t cut, accelerate, or move like before causes doubt. Physically, it causes them to muscle guard and protect the injured area.

Doubt, which has never been there before is suddenly present. Doubt causes slight hesitations, over-thinking, or even trying to do too much. As a result of the doubt and less than stellar play, they lose confidence!

It takes a village. Teammates, coaches, and loved one’s all need to support the athlete to return when completely healthy and in game shape.

Dr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology coach. DRB & Associates based in Indianapolis works with professional athletes & corporate athletes, coaches, and teams building their Mental Toughness.  His 2nd book titled The Hinge: The Importance of Mental Toughness was recently released. Follow on twitter @drrobbell  or contact drrobbell@drrobbell.com 

Rory & Wozniacki: How romantic break-ups affect performance…

I’ve seen it dozens of times, an athlete is performing well, and then boom! The break-up happens…

Last week, Rory McIlroy called off the engagement with Caroline Wozniacki. In the immediate wake, their performances have taken dramatically different paths. Rory won the European PGA championship after trailing during the last round by seven (7) shots and he is currently in the lead at The Memorial. On the other hand, 13th seed Wozniacki lost in the first round for the first time at the French Open.

Now, there are numerous examples of athletes that performed their best when “life” outside of sport went seriously askew. Brett Favre suddenly lost his father and became locked in on a Monday night game, passing for 399 yards and 4 touchdowns. Recently, PGA Tour winner Robert Garrigus honored his caddy’s father who passed away by shooting an incredible last round 64.

It may seem callous, but what matters in relationships and performance is WHO made the decision and delivered the blow and WHO became the victim?

In relationships, one person usually loves the other more. So, frankly, one’s gender makes no difference in matters of the heart. When break-ups occur, the opposite effect could have easily happened. If Wozniacki delivered the break-up news, maybe she’d have won the French Open.

Men are microwaves—women are crockpots…

While Rory McIlroy has tightened his focus and channeled his pain into his performance. Wozniacki may take longer. It doesn’t mean that she won’t recover, but after a recent break-up and being on the receiving end of horrible news, there just isn’t a lot of emotional resiliency to perform immediately at the highest level.

The victim of any break-up must simply go through a process of bouncing back and enjoying their sport. What I’ve seen is that if sport is their escape from life, then they will bounce back sooner, if they can’t effectively cope, then they will struggle.

Dr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology coach. DRB & Associates based in Indianapolis works with professional athletes & corporate athletes, coaches, and teams building their Mental Toughness.  His 2nd book titled The Hinge: The Importance of Mental Toughness was recently released. Follow on twitter @drrobbell  or contact drrobbell@drrobbell.com 

 

The Culture of Environment

Kenyan runners dominate the world in competitive distance running. Many run barefoot, but they’ll tell you their personal best time right along with their name. With almost half of the entire population in poverty, if someone in a nearby village wins a small half-marathon and a check for $2,500 that is four times the yearly median income. In Kenya, the will to escape is channeled into running. The motivation to “make it” is a direct result from the environment.

The Olympic and world champions of the sport in Kenya train along side those merely trying to break through. These runners, regardless of skill, motivate one another to keep going, recognizing with painful clarity just how fleeting success can be.

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Since 1972, Cuba has won 32 Olympic Gold medals in boxing, more than any other country, despite the country’s boycott of the 1980 & 1984 games. However, the boxers status goes only as far as the amateur ranks. Fidel Castro banned professional boxing in the 1960s.

A Cuban boxer desiring to turn professional must defect, leaving everything and everybody behind including the motivational structure. It is a decision filled with torment, especially in the heavily family-oriented Cuban culture. Dyosbelis Hurtado, who defected in 1994, stated, “It was the toughest decision I’ve ever made because of my family. My mama, papa and seven brothers are still in Cuba. I don’t know how many more years will pass before I see them.”

“[You] can do it, so can I”

We need models to show us how they did it, coaches to teach us how to do it, and others around us trying to do it as well .

The same motivational structure exists for Brazilian soccer, running groups, AdvoCare,® CrossFit,® masters swimming clubs, Jenny Craig,® or Alcoholics Anonymous.® These groups all rely on each other as “how-to” models and coaches.

We are connected to others. We need models in our lives to show us how things are done and others to continually raise the bar for us. It is the external motivation that connects….Will your Hinge connect? Click here to subscribe to my mailing list

Dr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology coach. DRB & Associates based in Indianapolis works with professional athletes & corporate athletes, coaches, and teams building their Mental Toughness.  His 2nd book titled The Hinge: The Importance of Mental Toughness was recently released. Follow on twitter @drrobbell  or contact drrobbell@drrobbell.com