Rob Bell's Blog, page 20

11 tested ways to get out of our comfort zone

I’ve ran two marathons and I put everything I had into both. My best time was a respectable 3:21 and that was running six days & fifty miles a week with speed work. I kept track of every run and reviewed it the other day; it was intense.

We get nowhere until we get out of our comfort zone. Mental Toughness is not just physical. Most relate mental toughness to physical tasks because we can measure it and it is indeed difficult. However, we all can improve our mental toughness. We just need to get uncomfortable.

 My 4th book on mental toughness was published specifically for parents. I write every single morning for 1-2 hours. It is uncomfortable and some days are worse than others. But, my belief is that they don’t give bestsellers away.

1. Want to vs. have to…

If we are not doing what we love to do, what’s the point? Not many people get better at things they don’t enjoy. Our mental toughness is aligned with our passion, perspective, and gratitude.  If we dwell on the things that we don’t have, we are operating from a viewpoint of scarcity instead of abundance. Remember, we focus on negatives in the darkroom.

2. Start with the hardest…

One of the PGA Tour players that I worked with taught me tons about mental toughness. Before Scot Stallings won his 1st PGA Tour victory, we were at an event that changed the way I approach life. He had to complete a putting drill in order to leave the course. There was one putt that was unreal and I figured he would save the toughest putt for last. He pointed at the Rasputin of holes and said,“ I’m starting with that one!”

Tracy Thorsell is in her last year at the Naval Academy. She will graduate with a degree in electrical engineering and speaks five languages. She took Chinese in High-school because it was the toughest.

Too often we start with and only want the easy tasks. Get uncomfortable and build our mental toughness by starting with the hardest task. We’ll get confidence  and get momentum from accomplishing the most difficult first.           

3. Sit in a different seat & go a different route…

When I was a University professor, I had no seating arrangements, but people sat in the same seat every time. We seek comfort and we are creatures of habit. That is why we congregate around the same area and drive the same route. Go a different way is a simple way to engage the mind and get out of our comfort zone.

4. Be Honest…

I was once asked if I had seen a certain movie. I actually lied that I had because I wanted to be in on the conversation. Honesty with others is tough, but honesty with ourselves is way more difficult. Changing for the better is a good thing, however it requires honest self-assessment. Not many people can be honest, because it makes them vulnerable.

5. Connect w/ others…

Mushrooms and negatives grow in the dark. It takes little mental toughness to isolate. But, our condition changes with the books we read and the people we meet and interact with. Get out of the comfort zone by meeting one new person a day.

6. Suit up & show up…

A boxing coach, Jason Minnick, told me that the boxers who are mentally tough are the one’s that show up… after a beating. The toughest part is indeed showing up. Too often we allow one mess up or mistake to define us. It doesn’t matter how bad we messed up, learn from it, and get back on the path.

7. Don’t complain…

John Wooden said, “Don’t complain, whine or make excuses, your friends won’t need them and your foes won’t believe you.” Life without complaint means responding to situations and people, not reacting.

8. Face the fear & do it anyways…

I wrote NO FEAR: A simple guide to mental toughness because FEAR is the biggest thing keeping us from our goals. Everything we want in life is on the other side of that fear. The story that we tell ourselves either lifts us up or tears us down. Everyone is afraid, but few address it. Get out of the comfort zone and just do it, whatever your “it” is.

9. Trust others…

My friend Keith Tyner took his family on an R.V. trip out west. For every person he encountered and had a conversation, he simply gave them a little book reading light. Do you know how many people struggled with taking that small gift?

I hate trusting others, because it means I’ll may hurt. I hate asking for help because it means I’m stupid. That’s the story I tell myself that brings me down. The better story is I need to trust others because we can help each other. The odd thing is that no one wants to ask for help, but everyone wants to give it.

10. Pray & pray again…

Get uncomfortable by surrendering the things we cannot control. If prayer doesn’t’ work the first time, then pray again.

11. Trust your gut…

Our gut is our in-born smoke detector. It’s our GPS. However, it’s a tough choice whether we listen to it or not. I am convinced we are right more often than not when we trust our gut. However, we will still be wrong on occasion, we just can’t let our mistakes to dictate how we operate. When we trust our gut, it simply reflects that we are confident.

Dr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology Coach. His company DRB & associates is based in Indianapolis.  Some clients have included: University of Notre Dame, Marriott, and Walgreens. Check out the most recent books on Mental Toughness-

Derick Grant, Harlem Globetrotter, & Microwave Success

Derick Grant, Harlem Globetrotter, & Microwave Success

In this VODCAST episode- 15 minutes of Mental Toughness 

How an Escalator changed his life forever and was a HINGE moment! (don’t miss this)
What nobody knows about being a globetrotter.
What is Microwave Success?
One huge technique to build Mental Toughness. 
How can we spot it?
Visit Derick Grant 

Dr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology Coach. His company DRB & associates is  based in Indianapolis.  Some clients have included: University of Notre Dame, Marriott, and Walgreens. Check out all the books on Mental Toughness- Visit here to Build Mental Toughness. Ring The Bell For Mental Toughness

How to Crush The Transitions in Life

How to Crush the Transitions in Life

If we use the bathroom 10 minutes a day, we will have spent over 6 months of our life in the bathroom.

The average person spends two hours a day watching T.V. (wow).

We will also spend about 1 year of our entire life just cleaning.

Dated research revealed that we spend over 2 years of our life merely waiting (traffic, lines in supermarket, etc.). Although, on-line apps have now changed our entire behavior by being able to pre-order. This is cool of course, but doesn’t help with our patience.

William Penn once said “Time is what we want most, but what we use worst.”

Since we spend so much time, we need to invest our time instead.

One way to build everyday Mental Toughness is to crush the transitions.  

A transition is a process.

We can have major transitions, like changing careers, mid-transitions, such as waiting in an airport and minor transitions, like driving from the gym to work.

Crushing the transition is the BEST way to get BETTER. The goal of a successful transition is that we are in the best spot mentally when we arrive.

Here are 8 ways to crush the transitions


1) Evaluate-

Where am I right now and where do I need to focus? Do I need to relax more, address my business, gain more knowledge, or connect with others?

2) Breathe-

The transitions in life are the absolute perfect time to focus on our rectangle breathing. Get centered.

3) Listen to a podcast-

I drive a ton and while I’m paid to read, I also try to crush audio-books and podcast episodes. Martin Rooney, Jocko, and James Altucher are all killer.

4)  Turn off the agitator-

The mental game is more about subtraction than it is addition. It is often about removing things that do not makes us better.

There is a lady who constantly talks on her phone while on the treadmill (Yeah, she doesn’t work hard). I HATE IT. But, you know what, that’s not her problem, that’s mine. I just have remove myself from the situation.

5)  Make a Call- 

Reach out and contact a friend, coach, colleague, family member, or business associate. Make connection with others a goal of your transitions.

6) Remove the phone- 

When we have a minute of downtime we pull-out the phone and check twitter, facebook, instagram, whatever.  I do this too much and It becomes a habit. Unfortunately, it’s become a HUGE distraction and time spender.

7) Gratitude list–

Write out 10 people, places, or things that you are grateful for.

8) Pray-

And if that doesn’t work, Pray again. God usually answers, “ask me again tomorrow.”

This is Just ONE way to Build Mental Toughness. If you are interested in learning more Mental Toughness Techniques. Check out RING THE BELL FOR Mental Toughness. 

Warning: Graphic Display of Persistence

Every morning, I tweet Patience & Persistence….They are my reminders and the keystone to mental toughness and success. But, what does persistence actually look like?

Warning: This is a graphic display of persistence. 

This is NO MAGIC Trick- this is real!

David Blaine revealed that this “trick” took 10 years to accomplish. He actually created a fistula , which is a hollowed out area of scar tissue through his arm where the needle is inserted, that’s why there is NO BLOOD.

For 10 years, David would take a needle through his arm in the same spot and increase the damage every so slightly. He drilled a hole through his arm to perform a magic trick- That is a display of persistence!

 

Dr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology Coach. His company DRB & associates is  based in Indianapolis.  Some clients have included: University of Notre Dame, Marriott, and Walgreens. Check out all the books on Mental Toughness- 

(Video) Mental Toughness to Stop in a 1/2 Ironman?

Mental Toughness to Stop in a 1/2 Ironman?

I finished a 1/2 ironman and was speaking at event reveals how we never know what or who will be our Hinge Moment. The question still remains: Would you have stopped?  This event changed my life and led to writing the new book: How to Crush a 1/2 Ironman in less than 2 weeks. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology Coach. His company DRB & associates is  based in Indianapolis.  Some clients have included: University of Notre Dame, Marriott, and Walgreens. Check out all the books on Mental Toughness- 

(INFOGRAPHIC) 5 Practical Tips to Be The Best Assistant Coach

 

 

 

 

 

5 Practical Tips to Be The Best Assistant Coach

Information- Convey knowledge, not just problems to your head coach; or bring solutions to the problems. Being the best assistant means to support the head coach in all decisions and personnel. The best job that you have is the one that you’re in.

Dr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology Coach. His company DRB & associates is  based in Indianapolis.  Some clients have included: University of Notre Dame, Marriott, and Walgreens. Check out all the books on Mental Toughness- 

Avoid This “Why” to Build Mental Toughness

 Avoid This “Why” to Build Mental Toughness

I was a good athlete when I was young.

But I changed.

I’m not sure exactly when it happened, maybe I lost a race, had an error in the field, or struck out. But, I started to think way too much, and I would get in my own way.

No-one could really ever help me either, which is one reason why I became a Sport Psychology coach.  I was stuck, frustrated, didn’t know how to work hard, and had off the field issues that caused emotional pain. 

I slacked, and people got better than me.

I drank, and people got better than me.

I partied, and people got better than me.

Then, it was all over.

Falling off a cliff will do that. 

I was never in touch with my “why” until after my playing days were over. After college, my “why” became to prove something to myself.  It was to prove to myself that although I squandered younger years, I wasn’t going to quit. If you ever get a second chance at life, you’ve got to go all the way. 

So, I ran marathons, broke a 20-minute 5k, benched pressed 300 lbs, made a hole-in-one, completed a toughmudder, swam under 1:00 in the 100 freestyle, and finished a 1/2 Ironman.

I’ve heard most elite performers “why’s.” “Prove people wrong, Because I love it, Be a role model, it’s fun, Be outside, Escape from life, Be fit, Being in the moment, The feeling of the actual movement, Competitiveness, To beat others, Make my parents proud, Winning.” 

I think some are stronger than others and I am not sure which WHY is the BEST.

I do believe however that there is ONE WHY we need to avoid to build Mental Toughness. This “why” is toxic, malicious, and contagious. If we don’t recognize and treat it, it becomes necrotic to our entire self.

The worst “why” anyone can have is: I’m GOOD at it.

The path toward greatness at any level is difficult. But, our best changes as we get better and tenacity becomes more important than talent. Those with a why of I’m good at it, simply can’t achieve their full potential. 

Burnout in any performance field is has a why of I’m GOOD at it. If they’re GOOD at something, but do not have a deeper why, then at some point, they become trapped.

Most people that are GOOD,  have their identity, future, and sometimes career so wrapped up in their performance, that they can’t quit. Quitting would bring severe consequences. So, they stay in performance mode without a “why” and the disease takes hold.

When trapped, they resent their sport or job, can’t work hard, frustrate their peers and coaches, and since they can’t quit, they find other ways to cope that make them feel better. The better performer that they are, the more trapped and frustrated they feel.

If you’re going to be GOOD at something, but not love it,  be good at math or science, not performance.

3 Tips for Your “Why”


Develop your why as your talent develops, before it’s too late. 


Re-adjust and re-focus your why as you progress in life. 

Our “why” changes over time.  I knew athletes who were so driven to prove people wrong, (which is a powerful motivator) but after they had success, it became an “okay, now what” moment? They had to re-discover their own why.

Your own “why” a few years ago may not be your why today. 

Stay in touch with your why. If you know your why, you can come-up with any “how.”

Dr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology Coach. His company DRB & associates is  based in Indianapolis.  Some clients have included: University of Notre Dame, Marriott, and Walgreens. Check out all the books on Mental Toughness- 

How to Become a Paid Speaker

Here’s How to Become a Paid Speaker

I spoke to head coach Mary Ann Sedor who is the founder of  Intent Multisport.  She is an awesome “all-in” person and I interviewed her for my next upcoming book- How to Crush a 1/2 Ironman in ^Less Than^ 2 Weeks. 

I sent her a video clip about my experience completing a 1/2 Ironman, and she commented how she connected with me as a speaker. 

That’s always nice to hear since I’m an approval junkie sometimes. I mean who doesn’t like to hear that their stuff is awesome? 

I told her my “style” was from my very first time speaking. 

I was in a drunk-driving accident in college. I also fell off an 80-foot cliff. It was not the best freshman year. 

My accident occurred on April 20th in the early evening as I was attempting to drive back to college.

I crossed the center line and hit another car head-on.

I never wanted to hurt anyone and it was a horrible mistake. Thank God I was the only person injured in that crash.

I was lucky.

Just a few weeks later as I tried to finish the semester, I received a call from someone in charge of Prom Promise at a local high-school. They wanted me to speak on drinking and driving.

My jaw was broke, my arm in a sling, and it would be at a rival high-school where I still knew some of the people.

It was humbling, but I could not say “no.”

In front of a thousand high-school students, I told my story. And that’s when and where my speaking career began.

My mess was my message.
I realized that people enjoy hearing about your successes, but they identify with your struggle. 

Here’s how you can become a paid speaker.

Be real and be genuine.– 

Not for your ego’s sake, but because we connect with the vulnerabilities of suffering.

Develop a 15-minute talk.–

Give your talk from a personal example and speak about the one story you probably don’t want to share either.

Give this 15-minute talk away.–

Seek out Optimists clubs, Rotary Clubs, and Chamber of Commerce to perfect your talk. In doing so someone in attendance will want to hire you to speak to their own company or team.

Video your talk.-

Every year, I give a Tedx type talk, called Sparks. Here’s a compilation of these talks that serve as great marketing.  With video, people can watch you in action and it takes the guesswork if you’re any “good.”

Create a one-page speaker sheet.- 

Invest in an interactive PDF that shows your work, expertise, and topics. 

When you are asked to speak, charge.–

If you’re invited to speak, it simply means that you’re ready to become a paid speaker. If you don’t charge, then you’re not mentally ready to get paid for speaking and more work on your head trash is needed. It’s better to disappoint someone who wants you to speak, then to be resentful that you keep doing it for free.

Dr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology Coach. His company DRB & associates is  based in Indianapolis.  Some clients have included: University of Notre Dame, Marriott, and Walgreens. Check out all the books on Mental Toughness- 

(Video) What We Can Learn From Every Super Bowl Champion

What We Can Learn From Every Super Bowl Champion

Download Infographic- 5 Unexpected Reactions to Winning the Super Bowl.

Success leaves clues. It’s the reason I wrote 50 Ways to Win: Pro Football’s Hinge Moments

It was amazing to discover proof why the process really is more important than the product and that there was only one common theme amongst every Super Bowl Champion. What a insightful discover about what we can learn from every super bowl champion.

Dr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology Coach. His company DRB & associates is  based in Indianapolis.  Some clients have included: University of Notre Dame, Marriott, and Walgreens. Check out all the books on Mental Toughness- 

(VIDEO) What Blocks Us From Mental Toughness

What Blocks us from Mental Toughness

One of the most difficult things in life is to let go of old ideas and ways of thinking. The sexy term nowadays is having a growth mindset compared to a fixed mindset. Here’s how it plays out. 

Hope you enjoy this brief Mental Toughness video. 

“The secret it to move with the punch” – Jake LaMotta

Dr. Rob Bell is a Sport Psychology Coach. His company DRB & associates is  based in Indianapolis.  Some clients have included: University of Notre Dame, Marriott, and Walgreens. Check out all the books on Mental Toughness-