Tracy Shawn's Blog, page 6

How to Share Negative Emotions and Why it’s Good for Your Emotional Health

 

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Please note: this article was first published on www.psychcentral.com under the title: “How to Safely Communicate Negative Emotions”

By Tracy Shawn, MA, author of “The Grace of Crows”

~ 2 min read

I will never forget the last scene of the 1975 movie, “The Stepford Wives.” I was only 14 at the time, but I understood the chilling implication: Meticulously coiffed, serene ladies — even if they had to be turned into robots — were more desirable than the messy, emotional women who openly expressed their feelings.

Unfortunately, this exaggerated tale exemplifies a deeply rooted theme in our culture, which is still alive today. That is, women have been taught and are encouraged to keep their negative emotions, such as anger and frustration inside, while maintaining an outward demeanor of calm cheerfulness.

Men, too, are told to keep some of their most heartfelt emotions under lock and key. Even today, it is more socially acceptable for a man to show anger than tears. Whereas women are expected to keep so-called “male” emotions inside, men are often chided for allowing the outside world to witness feelings that are labeled as so-called “feminine,” such as vulnerability and fear.

Mix these long-term cultural norms with the tidal wave of optimistic affirmations flashing across our social media screens and it’s a wonder we’re not all imploding. An article published in The Atlantic notes that studies have linked the repression of emotions to increased stress and that emotional expression is a common trait among the long-lived.

In this piece, the author interviews the co-founder of the Emotional Intelligence Skills Group, psychologist David Caruso. In answer to her comment about how people seem to be more comfortable in expressing positive emotions over negative ones, Caruso answers that “American culture demands that the answer to the question ‘How are you?’ is not just ‘Good,’ but sometimes ‘Great.’” He goes on to say: “There’s this relentless drive to mask the expression of our true underlying feelings.”

So how can we appropriately express our negative feelings? Caruso recommends using what he calls “emotion words.” For example, if someone asks you how you’re feeling, instead of retorting with the perfunctory “I’m fine,” you can be more honest with a simple, yet more accurate reply such as: “I’m somewhat overwhelmed today.” He also states that it’s a good idea to pay attention to your physiological signals. For instance, if your shoulders and jaw are tense, ask yourself if you’re worried or stressed out about something, and then try to pinpoint the possible causes. Practicing this kind of self-awareness can give you the skills to react to others in more appropriate ways.

A Psychology Today article states that holding back negative emotions is not always the most adaptive strategy. The author cites a study that shows how people in middle adulthood often control their negative emotions in ways that lead to avoidance in confronting them — “and they were less likely than younger people to seek social support when they’re sad and angry.”

In much the same way that Caruso recommends self-awareness, the author states: “The better you understand yourself, including your emotional triggers, and the better you’re able to cope when those triggers set you off, the more likely you’ll know whether it’s okay or not to vent.” Of course, the safer you feel, the easier it will be to share negative emotions. This coping mechanism is actually productive because it may not be to your advantage, let’s say, to vent too much — if at all — to your boss, coworkers, and clients.

In conclusion, know that you have every right to feel whatever emotions may surface. Yes, they may be negative, and yes, they may even be somewhat irrational. But no matter how many may people lecture you about staying strong and how many sunset-strewn quotes you’ve tried to ingest that declare how it’s your duty to turn the horrible events of life into something positive, you’re still going to feel what you’re going to feel.

So don’t push those negative emotions down. Don’t let them fester under the subconscious so that they boil up as increased stress and overall unhappiness. Instead, be mindful about why a certain negative emotion has struck, and then think about how and with whom you can safely share it with. And if all else fails, do what this author does: While doing your dishes or driving your car, crank up the tunes and swear a blue streak!

About Tracy Shawn, MA

Tracy Shawn, M.A. lives and writes on the Central Coast of California. Her award-winning debut novel, “The Grace of Crows,” is available on Amazon and other online book outlets. She is currently revising her second novel. Please visit her at: www.tracyshawn.com

Book Club Questions for “The Grace of Crows”

Discussion Questions

The Grace of Crows[image error]

by Tracy Shawn

1. Empathy is a theme throughout the narrative of THE GRACE OF CROWS — not just empathy toward family, but also empathy toward strangers and even oneself. Discuss the significance of empathy in THE GRACE OF CROWS using specific examples.

2. Saylor’s main motivation is clear: She desperately wants to banish her anxiety. What motivates Brian, Brooke, Devin, and Erika? How do their different motivations conflict or align with Saylor’s?

3. How does the author’s use of setting enhance your understanding of the characters? What do you learn from the descriptions of interior spaces and outdoor surroundings?

4.The relationship between Saylor and her mother Erika is one of the most complex in the novel. Although Erika is judgmental and combative with her daughter, Saylor is able to see the fragility behind her mother’s narcissism. Discuss ways you have dealt with difficult loved ones — and have learned to see past their contentious exteriors.

5. Even though Billy only appears twice in the novel, Saylor’s conviction to connect with him again is an ongoing quest throughout the story. Discuss how this affected both the plot and you as the reader.

6. In chapter two, Saylor thinks: “Everyone dies in the end, and in billions of years, the sun will explode and melt the earth.” Saylor is aware that these thoughts are morbid, but they calm her by putting her fears in perspective. When you have faced emotional turmoil, what thoughts have helped you carry on?

7. Discuss Saylor’s epiphany about the “grace of crows,” what it means, and how she applies it to her life. In what ways do you experience Saylor’s understanding about the “grace of crows” in your own life?

8. Besides the crows, what other animal symbols can you identify and what aspects of emotional health or personal growth might they signify?

9. In the beginning of the novel, Saylor is aware that she suffers from anxiety. She knows her fears are irrational, yet she’s unable to control them. Discuss how her struggles compare to your own emotional challenges.

10. Saylor’s first encounter with her long-lost friend Billy sparks her journey toward self-awareness and healing. Later, her breakfast with a stranger spurs her on toward emotional health. Discuss ways in which someone from your past — or even the kindness of a stranger — has helped you in some profound way.

11. Discuss the beginning and end of THE GRACE OF CROWS. Why does it start the way it does? Did it end as you had expected? What kind of future do you envision for each character?

12. How did the novel expand your awareness? Did reading it help you understand a family member or friend better? Describe any personal insights that THE GRACE OF CROWS may have sparked.

Tracy Shawn, M.A. lives and writes on the Central Coast of California. “The Grace of Crows” is available in paperback, ebook, and audiobook. https://www.amazon.com/author/tracyshawn. Tracy is currently revising her second novel.

The Care and Feeding of an Author

First published on www.writingandwellness.com on March 2, 2016 

by Tracy Shawn as interviewed by author and editor Colleen M. Story 

A while back I ran into my first writing teacher and made sure to thank him for his help in sparking my career as an author.

In reply, he shook his head and gave me a wry smile. “I’m so sorry,” he said.

I nodded, knowing exactly what he meant.

Yes, writing a novel has been one of the most fulfilling endeavors of my life. Yet—and this is the big yet—the quicksand muck of rejections, ongoing self-promotion, prickly self-doubt, and, well, let’s be real here: lack of any real income, can be a tad demoralizing (especially when you work seven days a week and haven’t had a vacation in nearly four years).

As my teacher and I commiserated on, though, neither of us would ever think about giving up.

Like so many other writers, artists, and musicians, the need to create is more powerful than the setbacks.

Below I’ve listed some of my best strategies to keep both physical and emotional health from going under. I hope, in some small way, my words can help fellow artists keep their heads above the muck as well.

Exercise Before You Write to Get Into the “Zone”

Writers, in particular, sit a good deal of their lives. Top that off with the frustration of writer’s block—which can lead to emotional eating—and it’s easy to see why many authors have to make a conscious effort to maintain their physical health.

Personally, I suffer from ongoing back pain (I herniated a disk in my twenties) and let’s just say that I have more than one sweet tooth.

Over the years, I’ve learned to exercise before I write. Physically exerting myself not only increases my concentration, but also helps me relax enough to get into the “zone.” When I get stuck, I do dishes, fold laundry, or take my dog for yet another walk (she gets at least two a day or she gnaws the furniture to shreds).

I also work from a laptop, so I’m able to change positions from desk to couch to standing (no fancy workstations here: I turn over a large rectangle basket on top of a file cabinet and then happily set my laptop on that while I stand on a padded rug).

Sometimes I get so overwrought from all the maneuvering through social media sites, researching and writing articles and blogs, and working on my freelance copywriting assignments—all while trying to finish my second novel—that I literally become dizzy.

When this happens, I go outside with my dog, lie down on a pad, and gaze at the sky, trees, and even ants marching in front of me. Inevitably, I become grounded enough to go back inside and pound those keys again.

Healthy Diet Plan: 80% Healthy, 20% Yummy

And then there’s the lure of cookies, ice cream, chips, etc. Yes, I love my sweets. I also adore crunchy, salty snacks as well. I have come to discover, though, that when I partake of too many “fun foods” my energy plummets—and so does my writing. I have learned to eat three balanced meals a day, as well as lots of protein-filled snacks.

Of course, I still enjoy a daily dose of dark chocolate, a cookie here and there, and some ice cream, but I try to maintain the 80-20 rule, where I eat 80% healthy and 20% yummy. I also drink many cups of green tea during the afternoon, which I highly recommend to anyone who wants to increase both metabolism and energy.

Bonus Tips

I’ve found that eating the good kind of fats, which include olive oil, avocado, and nuts/nut butter, combined with high fiber and protein-rich foods, helps keep me from being too hungry—and grumpy!

If you’re pressed for time, there are a plethora of free workout videos on YouTube. One of my favorite instructors there, by the way, is Sean Vigue. He gives a great workout while making me laugh, which is quite a feat.

A Thousand Hours for Each Book Sale

To be honest, my biggest emotional challenge of being a writer is that I’m not pulling in a real income from my seven-day-a-week work schedule. Although, I enjoy a nice check here and there from my freelance copywriting, it feels as if I put in at least a thousand hours for each book sale.

Okay, I’m not great at math—and that has to be a huge exaggeration, but when you put in all the years of writing, editing, and revising a novel and then all the time spent promoting it, it does tend to wear you down some days. So why do I keep writing, you may ask?

After all this kvetching, I have to say that writing is my biggest passion. And when readers share with me how much they’ve connected with my characters, loved the story, or how my writing helped them feel more connected and less alone in this crazy world, it’s all worth it.

Bonus Tips

Your precious time and energy demands that you spend it with people who respect you–and your work. Take a serious evaluation of your friendships and choose wisely.

When you’re feeling completely depleted, take a Sunday off, read the paper, go for a leisurely walk, nosh in front of the TV. Sometimes you really do need to recharge your batteries.

As for rejections, remember that they’re not about you, but your work—and even then, it may not mean your writing isn’t up to par, but rather not what the agent or publisher is looking for. Continue to hone your craft and eventually you’ll find a way to publish your work.

Last, but not least, I highly recommend Twitter for all artists. It’s a great place to connect with other writers, readers, and innovative people from all over the world. It also helps you feel connected during the isolation that can occur during your writing day. A quick break to go on Twitter will update you on world news as well as hashtags in which you can include links to your books, blogs, etc. (Since my debut novel is about a woman’s journey through anxiety, I often #anxiety and have made some wonderful Twitter friends through this.)

* * *

Tracy Shawn lives and writes on the Central Coast of California. Her writing has appeared in literary journals as well as print and online newspapers and magazines.

She is currently finishing her second novel, and her award-winning debut novel, “The Grace of Crows,” is available on online bookstores in print, eBook, and audio versions.

For more information on Tracy and her work, please see her website andAmazon Author Page, or connect with her on Facebook and Twitter.

The Grace of Crows: “The Grace of Crows” is the story of Saylor Crawmore, a woman tormented by anxiety. Saylor tries every cure from self-help books and therapy to medication. Nothing has worked. Desperate for an answer, she must also navigate the ongoing rip current between the troubled generations of her family.

Saylor discovers her childhood friend, Billy, homeless and ignored since his teens living under a pier in Malibu. This encounter sparks Saylor’s journey to gain insight into her strange fears and the power to overcome her severe anxiety. Armed with her new awareness, Saylor summons the courage to help her family.

Available at Amazon.

The Healing Power of Fiction

| Tracy Shawn, MA | First Published with Psychology Tomorrow Magazine as a main essay on August 2014 – Issue 13 |

INTERVIEW WITH: LUCY HORNER, AUTHOR OF TOLSTOY THERAPY: A FICTION PRESCRIPTION

Q: Your book, Tolstoy Therapy: A Fiction Prescription, is a beautiful narration of both your own and other people’s healing experiences through the technique called bibliotherapy. Please explain what bibliotherapy is and why you feel it’s such a positive answer to the emotional problems that plague us all.

A: Thank you, Tracy! I first came to bibliotherapy without quite realizing it. In 2012, I started my website, tolstoytherapy.com, with the aim of sharing how literature was helping me to overcome mental health problems and feel better in myself.

I soon found out that using literature as a healing tool had a name – bibliotherapy – and, after looking into it further, I came across so much positive evidence to support its use. It’s so easy to pick up a book, relax, and learn from the lives of characters.

Some wonderful readers got in touch with me to share their own stories, and I knew I had to compile their experiences of bibliotherapy together in one place to help raise the profile of bibliotherapy; this is how Tolstoy Therapy: A Fiction Prescription came into being. Considering my love for books, writing and researching Tolstoy Therapy was a brilliant project!

Q: You note that emeritus professor of cognitive psychology Dr. Keith Oatley has researched the healing power of literature through actual brain scans. Please explain what his findings tell us about how the simple act of reading a good book can help us lead better lives.

A: Yes, Dr. Keith Oatley has done some fascinating research. Combining his experience of psychology with his love for fiction (he’s a published novelist), Oatley explains in his work that – in psychological terms – fiction is like a simulation of the social world.

By looking at the brain while we’re reading, psychologists have demonstrated that the human brain doesn’t make much of a distinction between reading about an experience and actually experiencing it directly: the same neurological regions are stimulated.

In this way, fiction can help prepare us for the real world…to get ourselves emotionally ready for challenging events in our own lives, or even make us better at navigating social and emotional challenges.

Q: You list three types of books that may help people deal with depression. Please share these three kinds of books and why they may help.

A: I think that when it comes to something as individual, personal and – in many cases – serious as depression, you can’t just recommend any list of books to a person and expect it to make them feel better.

For one, in some cases it will be complementary to therapy and perhaps medication. Reading can make a big difference to certain feelings and situations, but you need to think about whether what you’re facing is fleeting or more serious.

Also, readers should think about which books have helped them in the past, and consider the genres and writing styles that affect their mood in the most beneficial way. There’s so much to it.

For this reason, I outline three broad types of book to help readers deal with low mood: lighthearted books to lift your mood, more gloomy books to relate to, and books to provide reassurance that you are not alone.

The first and third categories work best for me when I’m battling low mood. I found When God Was a Rabbit by Sarah Winman to be really uplifting, while J.K. Rowling’s own experience of depression – as characterized by the dementors in the Harry Potter series – made me feel a lot less alone.

However, several friends of mine enjoy reading gloomier books to help them see the good in their own lives when they’re feeling low; think Notes from Underground by Fyodor Dostoevsky (not for everyone!) There was an article about this in The Telegraph newspaper in 2013, in fact.

Q: You write: “Tolstoy helps us to understand that, despite our past experiences and our concerns for the future, we need to stop and appreciate the present whenever possible.”

This sentence is a wonderful explanation of the healing power of literature. Please tell us more about how literature can help maintain one’s belief in the goodness of life.

A: I believe that literature can really help us get out of our own heads and think about the wider picture. For me, Tolstoy works wonders when I’m feeling anxious. His characters frequently slow down, pay attention to their surroundings, and become overwhelmed by the beauty of nature and the world around them, even when everything seems to be in turmoil (read Resurrection and pay attention to the protagonist, Nekhlyudov, or consider Pierre’s meditations on life and meaning in War and Peace).

Q: What is the most important message that you wish to give your readers?

A: I think the quote that I use to open my book demonstrates how brilliant a healing tool literature truly is. It is by Charles William Eliot, and goes as so:

“Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers.”

We can almost always turn to a book, for little or no cost, and it can have a great impact on our way of thinking and how we live our life. There’s something immensely powerful in realizing this, I think.

Q: Tell us about your website: www.tolstoytherapy.com and where people can purchase Tolstoy Therapy: A Fiction Prescription.

A: On my website I write about how books affect my own life and mental health, alongside the life lessons that we can gain from authors and their work. It’s a website about my reading journey and everything I learn from books, really, but I also enjoy recommending books to readers of my blog and for particular feelings and situations.

I released Tolstoy Therapy: A Fiction Prescription in the autumn of 2013, and it’s available on Amazon. Unfortunately it is only available as an ebook, but perhaps in the future print copies will be available too!

I love finding out how books have helped others. I find the messages I receive so interesting, uplifting and positive to read! The effect that books can have on the lives of readers is truly extraordinary.

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Tracy Shawn lives and writes on the Central Coast of California. Her award-winning debut novel, The Grace of Crows, is about how an anxiety-ridden woman finds happiness through the most unexpected of ways—and characters. Dubbed a “stunning debut novel” by top 50 Hall of Fame reviewer, Grady Harp, The Grace of Crows has also been hailed as an accurate portrayal of generalized anxiety disorder and a healing opportunity to the reader by Anne Diamond, MS, LMFT. Visit www.tracyshawn.com for more information and purchase her acclaimed work at amazon.com/author/tracyshawn.

 

Small Victories (How Cleaning can Increase Emotional Health)

by

Tracy Shawn, MA, author of “The Grace of Crows”

The other day, I found myself lying under my bed with rag in hand wiping away the remains of dreaded dust bunnies—and this was after I pushed the long-handle of the vacuum several times through.

Did this really need to get done? No, it did not.

But did this fussy kind of cleaning make me feel better? And the answer to that is that it certainly did.

I knew at the time that it was giving me a sense of control—and, yes, even a sense of accomplishment—during this highly stressful period in which I’m trying to help a loved one navigate perplexing medical issues. (I also appreciated it the next day when I was following an online yoga class and found myself in the down-dog pose, admiring how clean my whole floor was—underneath bed and all.)

Here’s the thing, though: If I hadn’t been aware of why I decided to go on such a fastidious cleaning expedition, then it could have easily turned into a kind of OCD journey where I spent hours hunting down ALL the dust bunnies in the house. And that would not have made me feel better. I know this because it’s happened before.

When I didn’t stop to think about why I had spun into one of my every-few-weeks cleaning frenzies, I continued to dust, polish, and scrub until the sun set, leaving me more exhausted than refreshed.

Yet now that I’m aware of the psychological reasons behind my sudden urges to clean house in the way the cartoon Tasmanian Devil whirls through his day seeking to feed his voracious appetite, I know when to call it quits.

So, if you’re like me and enjoy a sense of calm and order after finishing a task that others may deem as a tad above overkill, then make sure to acknowledge your urge to do so.

If you can admit the underlying reasons why you are compelled to make the kitchen’s countertops and cabinets gleam, then you may very well know when to stop before you exhaust yourself by deciding to also get down on your hands and knees to scrub the baseboards as well (you can always save that one for another day).

And when you’re done, make sure to take the time to notice the visual mark you’ve been able to make in your immediate surroundings.

More importantly, though, allow these small victories to energize you in being able to face the larger, more complicated areas of your life. For isn’t it nice to use your cleaning spurts as a kind of therapy that not only creates more order in your physical world—but actually helps you deal with the internal one as well?

Tracy Shawn, M.A. lives and writes on the Central Coast of California. Her writing has appeared in literary journals as well as print and online newspapers and magazines. Shawn’s award-winning debut novel The Grace of Crows is about a woman’s journey from anxiety.

Small Victories Or…Why It’s Okay to Obsessively Clean Sometimes

by

Tracy Shawn, MA, author of “The Grace of Crows”

The other day, I found myself lying under my bed with rag in hand wiping away the remains of dreaded dust bunnies—and this was after I pushed the long-handle of the vacuum several times through.

Did this really need to get done? No, it did not.

But did this fussy kind of cleaning make me feel better? And the answer to that is that it certainly did.

I knew at the time that it was giving me a sense of control—and, yes, even a sense of accomplishment—during this highly stressful period in which I’m trying to help a loved one navigate perplexing medical issues. (I also appreciated it the next day when I was following an online yoga class and found myself in the down-dog pose, admiring how clean my whole floor was—underneath bed and all.)

Here’s the thing, though: If I hadn’t been aware of why I decided to go on such a fastidious cleaning expedition, then it could have easily turned into a kind of OCD journey where I spent hours hunting down ALL the dust bunnies in the house. And that would not have made me feel better. I know this because it’s happened before.

When I didn’t stop to think about why I had spun into one of my every-few-weeks cleaning frenzies, I continued to dust, polish, and scrub until the sun set, leaving me more exhausted than refreshed.

Yet now that I’m aware of the psychological reasons behind my sudden urges to clean house in the way the cartoon Tasmanian Devil whirls through his day seeking to feed his voracious appetite, I know when to call it quits.

So, if you’re like me and enjoy a sense of calm and order after finishing a task that others may deem as a tad above overkill, then make sure to acknowledge your urge to do so.

If you can admit the underlying reasons why you are compelled to make the kitchen’s countertops and cabinets gleam, then you may very well know when to stop before you exhaust yourself by deciding to also get down on your hands and knees to scrub the baseboards as well (you can always save that one for another day).

And when you’re done, make sure to take the time to notice the visual mark you’ve been able to make in your immediate surroundings.

More importantly, though, allow these small victories to energize you in being able to face the larger, more complicated areas of your life. For isn’t it nice to use your cleaning spurts as a kind of therapy that not only creates more order in your physical world—but actually helps you deal with the internal one as well?

Tracy Shawn, M.A. lives and writes on the Central Coast of California. Her writing has appeared in literary journals as well as print and online newspapers and magazines. Shawn’s award-winning debut novel The Grace of Crows is about a woman’s journey from anxiety.

Three Ways to Get Your Joy Back!

Please note: this article was originally published on PsychCentral (August 25, 2015) under the title: “3 Ways to Increase Adult Happiness” By Tracy Shawn, MA, author of award-winning novel “The Grace of Crows”

~ 2 min read

“A man’s maturity consists in having found again the seriousness one had as a child, at play.”  Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 – 1900)

A number of years ago, I stayed up till 1:30 in the morning watching a long lineup of comics at The Comedy Store in Hollywood, Calif. I remember being thoroughly entertained during each and every one of their routines. Yet, there’s only one act I recall in detail. Like all the others, it was based on the kind of exaggerated truth we can all relate to. I remember it above the others because it’s a truth that stayed with me, a truth of which I believe many of us adults need to be reminded.

The comedian talked about how he and his friend would get together on Monday nights, order pizza and watch TV. After many years of this routine, one night his special needs buddy wondered if they could order Chinese food instead. At this point in the story, the comedian happy-danced across the stage, proclaiming that, yes, they were grownups and they had every right to order Chinese food.

I still smile when I think about this act. We are grownups, and we have the freedom to make choices, among all the other privileges that adult status allows us. Sometimes, though, the responsibilities and hardships of being adults bog us down, so much so that we often fail to recognize our joy as well.

Below are three reminders that can help us tap into why being a true adult can bring even deeper contentment.

The Freedom to Choose 

As adults, we have the freedom to make basic decisions or intricate life strategies. Simple choices, like deciding what to buy at the grocery store, whether to take a walk or a catnap, even choosing what book to read, can bring a layer of simple joy to our lives. Being cognizant of this freedom can further increase our happiness because we can learn to cherish these seemingly small, yet life-affirming, privileges.

Even during the adult challenges, which can include dealing with an irrational boss, paying a stack of bills that looms larger than our bank account, and caring for a loved one with medical issues, we adults can still enjoy a kind of freedom that allows us to seek solutions in which to make our current lives better.

Intricate life strategies, such as laying out a plan to help formulate goals, can bring a long-term fulfillment. A 2013 Psychology Today post notes that true adults are better able to “…pursue their goals and priorities honestly, their actions are more likely to correspond to their words.” Therefore, though an adult’s life is often more challenging, at the same time it is also often more rewarding.

The Joy of Now

A 2013 article in The Atlantic describes a set of studies that shows how older bloggers are more inclined to list their happier experiences as moments of relaxation and peace, the kind of happiness, Halvorson notes that is “…less about what lies ahead, and more about being content in your current circumstances.” (The younger bloggers tended to describe happiness as anticipatory-based scenarios that elicited feelings of excitement and elation.)

With age, we mature. And with maturity, we are better able to appreciate being in the here and now. Spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle describes this in his book, “A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose,” as the joy of being. This joy of being, Tolle writes, doesn’t come from possessions, events, or even other people. It emanates, rather, from consciousness itself, which we are often better able to tap into with true maturity.

The Positivity of Awareness

Dr. Firestone writes how mature adults welcome new learning experiences, are open to unfamiliar ideas, and welcome constructive feedback. With this kind of emotional health, true adults are able to expand self-knowledge and awareness.

Self-awareness teaches us to acknowledge both our positive and negative aspects of ourselves. Once we are better able to understand and work on these aspects, we are better able get along with others, and thus, are better able to feel more contentment and joy.

Being able, then, to appreciate the freedom to choose, the simple ease of being in the here and now, and the ability to expand self-awareness can all help increase grownup joy. And, when your grownup self is too bogged down to remember all this — you can always order Chinese!

 

About Tracy Shawn, MA

Tracy Shawn, M.A. lives and writes on the Central Coast of California. Her writing has appeared in literary journals as well as print and online newspapers and magazines. Shawn’s award-winning debut novel “The Grace of Crows” is about a woman’s journey from anxiety.

SlingShot Art Studio and Gallery: Selling Collectible Art at Reasonable Prices

(Please note: that this was first published on Noozhawk.com on 9/23/15 under the title: “SlingShot Gallery Artists to Show Work at UCSB’s College of Creative Studies.”)

 

Founded in the 1950s by family members, who rallied to provide educational opportunities for their developmentally disabled children, Alpha Resource Center is a nonprofit multi-service organization that provides support and services to families with developmentally disabled children, adolescents and adults.

An expansion of Alpha Resource Center’s art studio program, SlingShot Art Studio and Gallery, promotes artists with intellectual disabilities. The name SlingShot was coined by one of their artists, who said that they were “slinging” themselves out in the world without knowing exactly where they would land.

The artists are recognized and appreciated for their individual talents, and their work is exhibited in the SlingShot Gallery, as well as in juried art shows.

Their most current show is at The College of Creative Studies Gallery at UCSB. The exhibition runs from Sept. 14 through Oct. 10, 2015.

According to CSS’s curator Dan Connally, this “work is by turns beautiful, formally inventive and compelling in narrative. It surprises and delights and offers deep satisfactions to anyone interested in art as an artifact of human feeling and identity.”

A reception for the public will be held Wednesday, Oct. 7 from 5–7 p.m. For further information, please visit www.alphasb.org/events.

Although these talented artists continue to have their work snatched up by collectors, their folk and contemporary art pieces are reasonably priced. Their work will not only be on exhibit at the current show at UCSB’s College of Creative Studies Gallery but also can be viewed throughout the year at the SlingShot Art Studio and Gallery (located at 220 West Canon Perdido, Santa Barbara, CA 93101).

SlingShot Art Studio and Gallery is open from Monday through Friday 9 a.m. – 4:30 p.m. or by appointment. During the gallery’s open hours, working artists are available to meet with visitors and discuss their work.

The gallery also participates in Santa Barbara’s first Thursdays, when the public can enjoy the artist’s frequently changing display of paintings, drawings, prints, sculptures and cards, as well as purchase available pieces for sale.

SlingShot Art Studio and Gallery is proud to support these highly creative artists and is honored to connect them with Santa Barbara’s vibrant art community.

For further information, follow SlingShot Art Studio and Gallery’s Facebook page: facebook.com/slingshotartforum, visit their website www.alphasb.org, call 805.770.3878, or contact artist representative and community liaison Sue Dumm at sdumm@alphasb.org.

Tracy Shawn lives and writes on the Central Coast of California. Shawn’s writing has appeared in literary journals as well as print and online newspapers and magazines. Her award-winning debut novel “The Grace of Crows” is available on major online bookstores.

 

Book Giveaway for Novel “The Grace of Crows” on Twitter

 

Enter for a chance to win a signed paperback copy of the award-winning novel, “The Grace of Crows.” A story about a woman’s journey from anxiety and how she copes with her narcissistic mother, checked-out husband, and troubled teenage children, “The Grace of Crows,” has been hailed as a deeply moving heroine’s journey and a healing opportunity for the reader.

Contest is open from 1:00 in the afternoon Pacific Standard Time starting September 9, 2015 to 1:00 in the afternoon Pacific Standard Time on September 15, 2015. Simply use the #TheGraceofCrows with @TracyShawn in a tweet. All tweets during this time will be collected, and a drawing from a hat (or bag!) will be videoed on the evening of Tuesday, September 15. Whoever wins will be notified on Twitter, and will be sent a copy of “The Grace of Crows” to his or her chosen mailing address. There is no purchase necessary, and no need to follow @TracyShawn. If you are the winner, you may send Tracy Shawn the mailing address you’d like the book sent to via her website’s contact page: www.tracyshawn.com.

 

Good luck, dear readers!

 

Tracy Shawn

 

 

 

How to Empower Your Inner Hero

Please Note: This post was first published under the title: “Empowering Your Own Inner Hero” in Psychology Tomorrow Magazine by Tracy Shawn, M.A. author of The Grace of Crows 

 

Author Christopher Vogler explains in his book, “The Writer’s Journey, Mythic Structure for Writers,” that when he went looking for a set of principles to explain the art of storytelling, he found something even more profound. He discovered what he called a “set of principles for living.” Vogler describes these principles as the hero’s journey, which he drew from the depth psychology of Carl G. Jung and the teachings of the great mythologist Joseph Campbell.

According to Vogler, stories that are based on the hero’s journey are “…accurate models of the workings of the human mind, true maps of the psyche.” They deal with universal questions and themes, encourage emotional healing, and empower pathways toward emotional growth.

Becoming aware of and practicing these “set principals for living,” can build confidence, as well as foster personal development. Below are the stages of the hero’s journey noted by Vogler, followed by ways in which you can actualize them into a blueprint for your own inner hero.

1. “Ordinary World” The ordinary world is where most stories start. It’s where we see Dorothy on the farm in Kansas. It’s the mundane backdrop of where most of our lives are lived. In recognizing your personal inner-hero, realize that the most incredible life-changing events can start right in your own backyard, and sometimes even evolve and end there as well.

2. “Call to Adventure” This is the stage in which the hero of a story is presented with a problem. The question is how the hero will deal with his or her challenge. In real life, we are bombarded with a multitude of dilemmas each and every day. To set forth on your own hero’s journey, plan to deal with your ongoing challenges as if you were a protagonist, who at the end of the story will change for the better. That is, be cognizant of what kind of actions you will take to deal with your problems, actions that will lead you to a better, more transformed you in the future.

3. “Refusal of the Call” Vogler notes that this stage is often about fear. In the structure of a storyline, it’s the time when the hero thinks about turning back. In real life, be aware of how your fears may stop you from moving forward, and take steps to push through them. While at the same time, remind yourself of your ultimate goals, and call forth all the influences—and people—in your life who help increase your motivation.

4. “Meeting with the Mentor” The role of the mentor-like character in stories is to help the hero face the unknown. Mentors in stories are just the same as our real-life mentors: They provide advice and give guidance. Just like in fictional world, though, our real-life mentors can only go so far. Yes, our mentors, be they our family, friends, or therapists can only do so much for us. Eventually, just like the hero in a story, we must ultimately fight our own battles.

5. “Crossing the First Threshold” This is the moment in the story when the protagonist has overcome her trepidation and has decided to confront her problems. In your own hero’s journey, this is the time when you have decided that accomplishing your goals takes precedence over the holding-back drag of your fears.

6. “Tests, Allies, Enemies” Heroes in stories often face new challenges, while making both allies and enemies along the way. Part of the storyline function that these tests, friends, and antagonists provide is to show character development. If you want to encourage your own emotional growth, you may gain perspective by taking a look at how you’re reacting to the challenges in your life.

7. “Approach to the Inmost Cave” This stage represents the hero’s approach to the darkest and most dangerous of places, sometimes even near death. How the protagonist reacts is often the biggest test of her journey. In order to strengthen your inner-hero, take steps to prepare for the some of the most challenging aspects of your life, while acknowledging your vulnerabilities. Perhaps this even means facing your own mortality. tweet

8. “Ordeal” The ordeal moment of the story is the part when the hero hits bottom. It’s a critical section in any story. In your own real-life story, recognize how you’ve dealt with hitting the bottom and confronting your greatest fear. And if you haven’t been there yet, ask yourself what steps you would take in order to emerge a better person for it.

9. “Reward” Nearing the end of the story, this phase is the part when the hero celebrates her survival over all the ordeals and challenges along the way. In your own journey, take time to acknowledge your accomplishments. Take time, also, to recognize how you may have changed through your ordeals, and ask yourself how this knowledge can help you teach others.

10. “The Road Back” In this stage, the hero is nearing the end of her journey and is about to come back home, yet realizes that there are still dangers and tests ahead and may need to reconcile with any of the negative forces still biting at her heels. In your own journey, take a look at relationships or situations that are still causing you grief. Perhaps it is time to either make amends, or confront your worse antagonist.

11. “Resurrection” During the resurrection stage, the hero is cleansed one last time in a kind of replay of the death and rebirth of the ordeal phase. It is the final test to see if the hero has really learned all her lessons. In real life, ordeals and challenges are always around the corner. Remember to employ all the life lessons you have learned thus far in order to greet them with as much grace as you can.

12. “Return with the Elixir” In this final stage, the hero returns to the ordinary world with an elixir. An elixir has the power to heal. It is often depicted as some kind of treasure or lesson. For example, in the “Wizard of Oz” Dorothy returns home having learned the lesson that she is loved and that “there’s no place like home.” Take a look at your own life. What is your elixir? What life lessons have you gleaned so far that can help you heal yourself, as well as others around you?

Tracy Shawn, M.A.

Tracy Shawn, M.A. lives and writes on the Central Coast of California. Her award-winning debut novel, The Grace of Crows, is about how an anxiety-ridden woman finds happiness through the most unexpected of ways and characters.