Jeff Folschinsky's Blog, page 29
February 12, 2014
Intellectual Curiosity
What started off as an intellectual curiosity for Christine and I. Ended up with her on kitchen counter, with me holding on to her thighs, and pumping away with 
my pants around my ankles.
Neither of us knew how we got here, nor were we willing to stop. Like a dare that had gone too far, both of us were slaves to the moment we created.
As I climaxed and my body convulsed, I quickly leaned against her so I could let go of her legs and put my arms around her. Giving her enough time to steady herself, so she didn’t fall forward, taking both of us down to the kitchen floor.
“You know, my bed would have been more comfortable.” Christine uttered out, still trying to catch her breath.
“I didn’t want to take a chance you would change your mind.” I responded back, equally winded.
We both laughed a little, although I’m not really sure why my answer seemed so important at the time. It’s not like we had planned for this, or even wanted it to happen for that matter. If either of us would have stopped ourselves from going that step further. I’m sure both of us would have been fine and all of our talks which led us to this moment would have just remained nothing more than another intellectual curiosity.
But by the time I was on my knees, with my head under her skirt, furiously working away, and heard her shout out, “Oh god, I want you in me!” It seemed like everything had to happen right then and there. So without thinking I dropped my pants, hiked up her skirt, lifted her up against the kitchen counter, and slid myself into her. We ended up both surprising each other. She with my ability to lift her up in the first place, and I with her ability to hold herself there while I thruste away at her, like a man possessed.
Christine grabbed a paper towel from the dispenser located above her sink, and put it between her legs. In an attempt to stop the flow of juices I had left in her from running down her leg.
“Well I guess that’s the end of this skirt.” She said as she got herself off the counter. She gave me a slight smile as she waddled past me to her bathroom down the hall.
I grabbed a paper towel and cleaned myself off before pulling my pants back up. I threw the paper towel in the trash and grabbed the bottle of red wine. I gave out a little laugh remembering that was the reason we went into the kitchen in the first place. I grabbed the wine glass I had left on the coffee table and sat down on the couch pouring myself a glass as I waited for Christine to return.
I was halfway through it before she reappeared in a new outfit. Obviously something she grabbed really quickly, as the fabric looked a little more wrinkled then a fresh outfit should. Possibly something she was getting ready to wash.
“So remind me what were we talking about before?” She asked as she grabbed the bottle and poured herself a glass.
“The state of modern relationships in America and how they should be portrayed in literature.”
“Ah, yes, that’s right. Well, like I was saying before. I don’t think they’re portrayed very accurately. Take what we just did for instance. I would venture to say that’s how most men and women get together these days. A few glasses of wine, a touch, kissing, eventually one thing led to another and here we are now, having another glass of wine and pleasant conversation afterwards. To me, that feels right, almost down right perfect if you ask me; and I don’t know why authors now and days feel like they have to romanticize something like that? I mean in this day and age does anyone even still believe in those over embellished romantic narratives?”
“I don’t know if they truly believe it, but they probably want to. It’s probably the whole reason those books have remained so popular for so long.” I replied, not taking any offense to Christine trivializing what we just did. I quickly learned a while back that she just has a way of being very blunt when she talks to you. This has led to a lot of people believing she’s a rude bitch, but I’ve always found it rather refreshing. Knowing that you always knew where you stood with her. This is one of the reasons that we’ve remained friends for so long.
“Damn it, I really wish we would have used my bed.” Christine said while looking at the palm of her free hand.
“What’s wrong?”
“Oh, I got a splinter. Probably from underneath the counter I was holding on to.”
“Sorry about that.”
“Oh, don’t be, but next time let’s just take the extra couple of minutes and go into my bedroom.”
“So,” I said, pausing a couple of moments before continuing. “They’ll be a next time?”
“Oh, well-,” she stopped, not really knowing how to respond, and suddenly the boldness that we had been feeling up until that point seemed to have left the room. All the intellectual talks and bold declarative statements we were spouting off earlier that led to us having sex and now we were just staring at each other not knowing what to say.
It was very embarrassing for a couple of self professed intellectuals. Seeing that it was a simple enough question, and one we should have been able to answer, but at that moment, it was a question that neither of us knew how to answer.
I mean don’t get me wrong, I like Christine well enough, but we’d always just been friends. That’s the way it had always been, and that had been fine by both of us. This was new territory though, and we were just now realizing it. It was one thing to be in the moment, but how does one act once that moments is over?
So now we both just stared at each other, paralyzed by the unknown possibilities that the future held. Had the spirited debate and intellectual curiosity that led us down this road, somehow taken that turn, where we found ourselves past friendship, and now at the beginnings of a romantic relationship? And were we ready for that kind of a transition?
I suddenly wondered where those brave souls from before had gone off to? Where talks about causal interludes, and spontaneity led to them touching just to demonstrate a point they were trying to make. Which eventually led to them having sex in the kitchen? Where had those adventurous spirits gone indeed?
“I guess I hadn’t thought about that.” Christine finally concluded.
I heard somewhere that silence can be the most addictive drug of all, and at that point I believed it. As I sat there in silence wondering what to say. I quickly finished the rest of the wine in my glass. If for no other reason than to buy some time.
“Well, this is certainly awkward.” I finally said, trying to add a little levity to the situation.
I realized I had failed miserably when Christine had gotten up from the couch, and started walking off saying, “I’m sorry, it was a slip of the tongue. I didn’t mean to put you on the spot. Maybe we should just call it a night?”
“Wait a minute,” I said as I got up and caught her before she could get too far away. “You just can’t start a conversation like this and then walk away.” As she turned towards me, I saw that she was starting to cry.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have made light of the situation.” I said apologizing for my presumed insensitivity. “It’s just a stupid defense mechanism that I have when dealing with stressful situations like this. Please stop crying.”
“I just wish we would have ended up in my bedroom, that’s all. Then maybe we would have just fallen asleep and dealt with this all afterwards.” She said while wiping the tears from her eyes. She then looked at her hands and noticed black smears on them. “Great,” she cried out. “I must look like shit now?”
As I looked into her eyes and saw streaks of black running down her cheeks, I leaned in and kissed her. I couldn’t tell you why, but what she described as shit, looked beautiful to me at that moment.
There was a certain vulnerability to her that I had never seen before. That made me just want to reach out and kiss her. To let her know that everything was going to be alright.
She was absolutely beautiful to me in that imperfect moment.
“What are we doing?” She asked while looking at me.
“I don’t know. Do you want me to stop?” I asked while smiling at her.
She smiled back as she leaned in and took ahold of me, and we just stood there awhile hugging each other. It was at that moment I think we both realized that all the time we had spent together. Drinking and having conversations, that inevitably led to us talking about our personal lives and telling each other things we’ve never told anyone else. It was only now becoming clear that we had already been in a relationship for awhile. The intellectual curiosity that we had given into was just our way of consummating it.
It was a surprisingly very romantic notion for a couple of intellectuals, but at this moment, it was one that neither of us minded.
“Now,” Christine said, smiling up at me. “I would really very much like for us to go into my bedroom and spend the night together.”
We kissed again and headed to her bedroom.
I laughed as we headed down the hallway thinking, some intellectuals we turned out to be. Although there would be no big narratives involved. All of this would be remembered as a very romantic moment. You know, for something that was suppose to be nothing more than an intellectual curiosity that is.
THE END
January 29, 2014
Last day to get a free copy of LOW TECH
Low Tech
January 28, 2014
Free Copy of Low Tech Available on Amazon
My Ebook LOW TECH is available today and tomorrow for free on Amazon. Please download your copy and if you could leave a review afterwards. 
Here’s the URL
January 25, 2014
IndieReader.com gives “Tales From Little Lump” a great review
By Jeff Folschinsky
IR Verdict: TALES FROM LITTLE LUMP: ALIEN SEASON is a highly readable, even witty story perfect for a camp side get-together.
Book Reviews, eBooks, Fiction, Humor, Science Fiction • 
Jan 25, 2014
This fast paced, amusing story takes place entirely in the confines of a small convenience store in Little Lump, Texas. As the title implies, however, the characters in this tale range far beyond the shop’s run of the mill occupants:There is a fisherman behaving very oddly, there are flying saucers, invisible alien ambassadors, and before all is said and done the US Army gets involved.
At the center of all this commotion, Aunt Gerdie, owner of the Gas n’ Sip, exudes southern twang. Her narrative voice is peppered with unique expressions: “Well, I’ll be buggered by a bear.” Gerdie’s worldview makes large allowances for the absurd and the ridiculous. This is why the craziness of extraterrestrial visitation leaves her unphased: “Everybody gets a chance for a little crazy dance,” she says. “And I guess it was my turn to cha-cha.” She responds in kind to whatever the world throws at her. Gerdie is the matron of a small family in a small town.
Many of the townsfolk are not what she would think of as “mental giants.” She puts up with them with a unique combination of cruelty and kindness. “Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind,” is her oft-repeated motto. She is compassionate, yet she heavily dispenses cutting remarks to those around her. Her attitude borders on the toxic and the mean, yet she redeems herself in moments of tenderness and love for her family, especially her dead husband.
TALES FROM LITTLE LUMP: ALIEN SEASON is a highly readable, even witty story perfect for a camp side get-together.
Reviewed by Ben Streeter for IndieReader
- See more at: http://indiereader.com/2014/01/tales-little-lump-alien-season/#sthash.O39GzuIk.dpuf
http://indiereader.com/2014/01/tales-little-lump-alien-season/
January 23, 2014
The Los Angeles Beat Review of “We’re No Heroes.”
Posted on January 21, 2014 by Jennifer K. Hugus
Art Work Courtesy of Eclectic Company Theatre
It is 8:45 pm on a Friday night on Laurel Canyon Blvd. I sit in front of the Eclectic Company Theatre, awaiting its evening of original monologues, staring giddily across the street at Shakey’s and wonder why I am attending a play that starts so late (and why it starts so late). I DO NOT wonder why I’m not over at Shakey’s. (Though its namesake makes me giggle most emphatically, my last visit was a close encounter of the more than dyspeptic kind and at this point, I’m going to leave it at that…)
I enter the lobby only to be greeted by fellow Eclectic Company Theatre member Laura. She informs me that, had I not obtained a press pass, the cost of tonight’s performance would have been, “pay what you can”. Moreover wine is free and I can help myself. Wellll,don’t mind if I do… I am enjoying this production already…
The presentation’s pre-show music sports all tunes 80s; Gary Neuman, The Cars, oh…and Moon (Unit) Zappa’s “Valley Girl”. Talk about an elapsed blast from the past! What I would give to hear it converted into a monologue; “Yakkin’ to the Max”.
‘I’m sooo shure I’m gonna talk funny for five minutes and argue that I’m not talkin’ funny…’
Photo Courtesy of Chelsea Sutton for Eclectic Company Theatre
But I shall not be graced with this possibility and it’s probably for the best, as the evening’s monologues were written by members of Eclectic Voices, Eclectic Company Theatre’s writer alliance and, aside from tonight’s pre-show jammage, Moon Unit never really much scanned on their radar—I’m so shure…
The music diminishes and we brace (the writers in particular) for our first monologue, “Writer’s Block” by Mark Bate. Oh the irony! Endearingly comedic, gap-toothed actor Paul Duffy enters in the direction of a desk with nothing on it (though we are probably supposed to use our imaginations and envision a computer or some sort of typing device).
“Why, why is this happening? I don’t understand why I’m having such problems with my writing,” he bellyaches as I let out a vociferous guffaw, not only at the comedic delivery but the overly expository tenor of the introductory line. Duffy then goes on to lament all possible distractions not currently available to him, “The Internet’s out, the library’s closed. Why are there so many holidays?” He calls his wife, ostensibly in the adjacent room, several times but she never answers because well…we are watching an evening ofmonologues.
Enjoyable as Duffy’s performance is, I can’t help but wish there were more specifics in this piece, i.e. what exactly he does for a living, how his wife feels about these illiterate jags and, most importantly, what—what is he writing? What if it was something really weird like a shopper’s guide or an IKEA Instruction manual? “Hell, even I don’t find this chair comfortable. How am I going to make the description believable to the furniture consuming public, let alone depict how it all goes together?—I’m a fraud I tellya—afraud!!!”
Photo Courtesy of Chelsea Sutton for Eclectic Company Theatre
The next monologue that really catches my attention is “Linda” by Laura Lee Bahr performed in a most touching and sincere manner by Carolyn Wilson as a woman scorned by a cheating husband, redeeming herself through vintage commerce. “He brought her to my home to shove my face in it. [But that’s when I invented] ‘Herstory’: Clothes and objects that meant something…some stories would make them more valuable …touching Herstory and her things … That store became my life …a boutique for the precious and precocious …from Emily Dickinson’s writing box to the rocks in the pockets of Virginia Wolfe …there is so much pain in this world but it doesn’t mean it has to be bad…”
“Just the Three of Us” by Ken Patton explores the relationship of a man and two women. Fatefully thrown together via the same high school class schedule year after year, destiny has converted this happenstance into a lifelong friendship. The monologue opens just before all three are about to meet at a bar after many years. The male of the trio, played rivetingly by Fuz Edwards, recounts their lives up until now; their most recent challenges and tragedies all the while affirming that they will always be each other’s constants, particularly after one of the trio’s women has recently lost half her family to suicide. But will they form a family of their own in the most 21st Century of traditions after this evening? “Tonight all we need, all we’ll ever need is just the three of us…”
In “Random Acts of Randomness” by Jeff Folschinsky, a hilariously Southern-drawled Tyler Tanner waxes stoically incredulous that poisonous snakes that slither through sewer pipes, into toilet bowls are not mythical animals like “alligators in the sewers or Republican Socialism”.
Photo Courtesy of Chelsea Sutton for Eclectic Company Theatre
“My cousin found Aunt Jenny sittin’ on the toilet …with a surprised look on her face (though that’s a common occurrence) dead as a doornail. …Truth be told, I felt sorry for the snake. Aunt Jenny was on a high fiber diet.” This monologue provided for the hardest laugh I had all night. Folschinsky’s writing, as always, never disappoints.
Why is it the sauce, lettuce and tomato on a fast food sandwich never line up right?—And why…why is it they almost never spread the “special sauce” on the bun for most optimal absorption and then stack the tomato on top of a convex leaf of crisp lettuce? This is exactly what actress Sarah Allyn Bauer contemplates in Chelsea Sutton’s humorous and thought provoking “The Graveyard Shift”. In the midst of working the 3 am shift at a fast food drive up window, Bauer frustratedly reassesses her twenty-nine-year-old, scholastically indebted, existence whilst stifling a screaming fit adjacent to the deep fat fryer. Feeling stuck between two buns, she stops just short of that while marshaling all hope and resourcefulness. As a start, she also decides she will stack the ingredients on her sandwiched creations any way she sees fit, despite what the corporate manual dictates, “Bottom bun, secret sauce, tomato, lettuce, top bun!”
Photo Courtesy of Chelsea Sutton for Eclectic Company Theatre
Other monologues include, “Well Said” by Taylor Ashbrook, performed by Ann Simmons wherein a woman who thinks she has nothing to say, at least not effectively, may, by default of above said monologue, have just disproved her point. “The Reluctant Satanist” examines a newly ordained acolyte’s, played humorously by Sean M. Kozma, frustration at the hypocrisy and inaccuracy at some of the terms, definitions and traditions surrounding devil summoning as he attempts to conjure said entity himself—albeit extremely wishy washily. In “The New Pilgrims” by Niki Blumberg, played by Taylor Ashbrook a newly hyped housing development in Baja California may not be the paradise it’s cracked up to be. “Magic Necro” by Sean M. Kozma features a very cute and dreamy vampire-type-creature played refreshingly matter-of-factly by Jonathon Trent attempting to discredit ridiculous stereotypes about his species. Really, they’re just like you and me…
The remaining dates for “We’re no Heroes” are Friday, January 24th and Saturday January 25th at 9 pm (zombie time). The entire program runs about an hour and ten minutes. There is no intermission. It is performed at the Eclectic Company Theatre; 5312 Laurel Canyon Blvd. (between Chandler and Magnolia—right across from the gag-inducing Shakey’s), Valley Village, CA 91607. For reservations please call (818) 508-3003.
www.eclecticcompanytheatre.org
January 20, 2014
WE’RE NO HEROES Monologue Show reviewed by ACCESSIBLY LIVE
OFF-LINE
Your Low-Tek NewsTM
Rich Borowy
Week of January 20th, 2014
Vol. 19-No. 3 ——————————————————————————————————————————————–
NEWS AND REVIEWS
The Eclectic Company Theater presents WE’RE NO HEROES, a production of nine sets of single person monologues that speak about a number of particular subjects.
Nine separate performers appear speaking upon a few topics, such as a writer who becomes distracted due to writer’s block, a post modern vampire explains the low down on some of the misimpressions on the titled subject, a baby boomer woman living in a resort community in a coastal Mexico town, a woman on the tribulations of working late nights at a fast food joint, a marginally successful Satanist at his craft, and other motifs that make up this unique series of mini-plays.
A cast of these nine performers tally toward this presentation, featuring (as listed in the order of appearance): Paul Duffy, Ann Simmons, Sean M. Kozma, Carolyn Wilson, Fuz Edwards, Tyler Tanner, Taylor Ashbrook, Jonathon Trent, and Sarah Allyn Baur, speak the words as written by (again, in their appearing order), Mark Bate, Taylor Ashbrook, Tyler Tanner, Laura Lee Bahr, Ken Patton, Jeff Folschinsky, Niki Blumberg, Sean M. Kozma, and Chelsea Sutton.
This showcase comes from the writing talents belonging to the Eclectic Voices group, consisting of those that desire to write stage pieces that are new and unmatched, bringing such skills into the art of spoken word works.
The show’s visuals here are basic; few props with no backgrounds to speak of. It’s the voices and performers that are its real stars. It’s a genuine “less is more” stage piece, with a heavy emphasis on the “more”. It’s for those that prefer their theater simple and served in bite size morsels, as this preference will do its trick in fullness.
WE’RE NO HEROES, presented by Eclectic Voices, and performs at the Eclectic Company Theatre, 5312 Laurel Canyon Blvd, Valley Village, until January 25th. Showtimes are Friday and Saturday nights at 9:00 PM. For reservations and information, call (818) 508-3003
Visit Eclectic Voices at http://www.EclecticVoices.org
Jeff Folschinsky
WE’RE NO HEROES reviewed by ACCESSIBLY LIVE
ACCESSIBLY LIVE
OFF-LINE
Your Low-Tek NewsTM
Rich Borowy
Week of January 20th, 2014
Vol. 19-No. 3 ——————————————————————————————————————————————–
NEWS AND REVIEWS
The Eclectic Company Theater presents WE’RE NO HEROES, a production of nine sets of single person monologues that speak about a number of particular subjects.
Nine separate performers appear speaking upon a few topics, such as a writer who becomes distracted due to writer’s block, a post modern vampire explains the low down on some of the misimpressions on the titled subject, a baby boomer woman living in a resort community in a coastal Mexico town, a woman on the tribulations of working late nights at a fast food joint, a marginally successful Satanist at his craft, and other motifs that make up this unique series of mini-plays.
A cast of these nine performers tally toward this presentation, featuring (as listed in the order of appearance): Paul Duffy, Ann Simmons, Sean M. Kozma, Carolyn Wilson, Fuz Edwards, Tyler Tanner, Taylor Ashbrook, Jonathon Trent, and Sarah Allyn Baur, speak the words as written by (again, in their appearing order), Mark Bate, Taylor Ashbrook, Tyler Tanner, Laura Lee Bahr, Ken Patton, Jeff Folschinsky, Niki Blumberg, Sean M. Kozma, and Chelsea Sutton.
This showcase comes from the writing talents belonging to the Eclectic Voices group, consisting of those that desire to write stage pieces that are new and unmatched, bringing such skills into the art of spoken word works.
The show’s visuals here are basic; few props with no backgrounds to speak of. It’s the voices and performers that are its real stars. It’s a genuine “less is more” stage piece, with a heavy emphasis on the “more”. It’s for those that prefer their theater simple and served in bite size morsels, as this preference will do its trick in fullness.
WE’RE NO HEROES, presented by Eclectic Voices, and performs at the Eclectic Company Theatre, 5312 Laurel Canyon Blvd, Valley Village, until January 25th. Showtimes are Friday and Saturday nights at 9:00 PM. For reservations and information, call (818) 508-3003
Visit Eclectic Voices at http://www.EclecticVoices.org
January 17, 2014
We're No Heroes Monologue Show
I have a monologue in it called A Random Act of Randomness. Being performed by the insanely talented Tyler Tanner.
If you're in the Los Angeles area you should come check it out.
The show starts at 9 pm. URL below has more information. Hope to see you there.
http://eclecticcompanytheatre.org/?po...
