Allison Edwards's Blog, page 7

TIP OF THE WEEK: Your Child Afraid of Halloween? Find Out What Helps

Halloween brings out lots of excitement for kids. School parties. Costume decisions. Candy. Lots and lots of candy.  And, of course, people dressed in all black with a bloody mask jumping out at you when you least expect it. If you’re taking your child trick-or-treating this year you can’t predict what you’re going to find on your route.

For some kids, the unpredictability is exciting. They like to be jumped at, tricked, scared, and are able to go home and instantly fall asleep, even after a bucket full of candy.  And then there are those kids who hide behind parents, don’t want to go door-to-door, and who beg to go home, even if it means they don’t get any candy.

If this sounds like your child, try the following:

Start the evening out with going to someone your child knows, who lives in a house your child has been to and is comfortable being in. Tell this person that your child is afraid beforehand so they don’t do anything unpredictable, even if it is just to have a little fun.
Tell your child where you’re going and how long you’ll be gone. This helps kids get a sense of what to expect. A lot that happens on Halloween is unpredictable so giving them a specific plan helps them feel safe.
Give your child the option of dressing up for Halloween but staying home to give out candy. This allows kids to participate while not having to leave home. There is this part of the brain called the amygdala , better known as the fear center, and there’s just no rationalizing with it. If your child can’t get out the door, instead of dragging him along crying and being miserable give him the role of handing out candy at home. He’ll still get the experience of Halloween and may have a good enough time to step out of the house and go trick-or-treating next year.

The post TIP OF THE WEEK: Your Child Afraid of Halloween? Find Out What Helps appeared first on Allison Edwards.

TIP OF THE WEEK: How to Stay a Step Ahead of a Smart Kid

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post entitled, Why DO Smart Kids Worry?  and received lots of questions and feedback asking for more information. I have often tried to explain how smart kids think and the most simple answer I can come up with is that smart kids take everything to the next level. Whether that’s a math problem, a conversation they’ve overheard or how they view themselves in relationship to others, smart kids don’t take things at face value, they take them to another level completely. The chart below explains this better than I can (or could)!

Average Kid                                                  Smart Kid

8 + 2 = 10
                                                         8 + 2 = 5 + 5

I see a snake.                                I see a boa constrictor.

I’m 10 years old.                      I’ve lived 1/8th of my life.

I’m different.                                              I’m an anomaly.

Some people die.                               I may be one of them.

Pollution is bad.
                         It’s destroying the Earth.

My parents are fighting.          They’re getting a divorce.

I feel scared.                               I may never feel safe again.

Knowing how smart kids think will help you be more prepared to answer questions and not overreact when your child throws you off-guard with a random statement about the universe or death. You can stay a step ahead of your smart child by knowing that these questions will come and that you’ll have a good enough answer when they do. More tips later on how to answer tough questions!

For more information about smart kids, order Why Smart Kids Worry.

 

 

 

TIP OF THE WEEK: Is Your Child Asking the Same Question Over and Over? Try the 5 Question Rule

Kids ask questions. Lots of them and sometimes (if not MOST of the time) they will get stuck on the same question and ask it repeatedly.

Can we go to Target?

Is there going to be a tornado?

Do I have to go to soccer?

Can I have another piece of candy?

How long until we leave? 

After you’ve answered the question once, kids know what you’re going to say. That’s if you don’t change your mind because you’ve become tired of saying “no” and surrender to your child’s wishes.

KIDS ASK REPETITIVE QUESTIONS FOR TWO REASONS:

1) To get a different answer

2) To get some mental relief

The first reason is simple: They want you to change your mind and give them what they want.

The second reason is not so simple: By asking the question, they get some mental relief. For many kids the same questions run through their minds repeatedly and they are unaware that they’ve already asked the same question 12 times.

If this sounds like your child, try the 5 Question Rule.

The 5 Question Rule is quite simply being willing to answer the same question 5 times and then saying, “I have already answered that question.”

It looks like this:

Daughter: What time are we leaving for dance class?

Mom: You’ve already asked that question 3 times. I will only answer that question 2 more times. We are leaving at 4:30.

This gives your child the mental relief she needs while also giving her the freedom to choose when she is going to ask the two remaining questions. By saying “you’ve already asked that question 3 times,” you are helping your child become more aware of her behavior. By being willing to answer it two more times, you are helping her get the mental relief she needs. Kids need to learn to self-soothe, and by setting boundaries you are helping them deal with the uncomfortable feelings that go along with not always getting what they want.

For more information about how to handle kids’ questions, discover Why Smart Kids Worry.

 

Three Tools to Reduce Back to School Anxiety

In my new book, Why Smart Kids Worry, I share 15 tools that parents can use with anxious kids. Many of the tools can be used in any situation but I am targeting three in this article that work well for back to school anxiety:

1. Square Breathing – Teaching your child this breathing method is useful in the early stages of anxiety. Breathing relaxes the body, counting takes their mind off fear, and it’s a simple tool they can take anywhere. To do Square Breathing, breathe in for full four seconds (like you’re breathing in the smell of fresh baked chocolate chip cookies), hold your breath for four seconds, blow out for four seconds (like you are blowing gently to cool the cookies off) and rest for four seconds. Kids should repeat the cycle three times and practice every night before bedtime. This is a great activity for parents and kids to do together and will help the first day of school go by much easier.

2. Worry Time – Setting aside 15 minutes a day for a child to express their worries is useful for children who repeat the same fears or talk incessantly about their anxieties. Worry times gives anxious minds a boundary and awareness, while satisfying the child’s need to be heard. If your child brings up a worry outside of Worry Time, redirect them by saying, “I want to hear what you have to say but let’s wait until Worry Time.” What you will find is that by Worry Time, many of their fears will have gone away.

3. Change the Channel – Anxious minds focus on the negative and when kids have something anxiety-producing coming up (like the first day of school) they often think of everything that could go wrong instead of what could go right. Changing the Channel teaches kids that just like you can change the channel on a television, you can change how you think about a certain event. You can help kids Change the Channel by choosing a positive thought such as “I can do this,” or “It’ll be okay,” to replace their negative thoughts. And who knows? They may suggest that you Change the Channel when you get in a negative place yourself!

For more information about my book click here: Why Smart Kids Worry

The post Three Tools to Reduce Back to School Anxiety appeared first on Allison Edwards.

TIP OF THE WEEK: Need to Get Your Child Out of Your Bed? Find Out How

Kids love sleeping with their parents. Given the choice, most kids would sleep in their parents bed until they graduate high school. Well…not that long but long enough to make parents uncomfortable and for kids to be unable to fall asleep on their own. Need to get your child out of your bed?  Be willing to get up and walk your child back to his/her own bed.

Is it that simple? Yes. Sometimes. Quite often.

Why? Because kids want to sleep in your BED more than they want to sleep with YOU. They want the comfort of sleeping in a big bed, sandwhiched between their parents. High thread count sheets. Comfortable mattress. Nice.

If you get up and walk them back to their room and lie with them until they fall asleep? Pretty soon they’ll stop making the walk to your room in the first place. They know the drill: that you’ll just walk them back so they’ll think a little while before they get up. They may even roll around for a few minutes and try to go back to sleep. Ultimately, they learn to self-soothe, which is a must for your child to become a healthy, resilient child.

So the next time you feel a little body next to yours, instead of sighing and rolling over to fall back asleep, get up, walk your child back to his bed, lie with him for a little while (or until he falls asleep) and then journey back to your bedroom. It takes more effort but is better off in the long run.

For more tips on helping children sleep, check out Why Smart Kids Worry.

 

Why DO Smart Kids Worry?

A 16-year-old was walking out of my office this week and saw a copy of my book on the table. He turned around and asked, “So why do smart kids worry?” He was the third person who had asked that day so I laughed and said “We’ll talk about it next week.” Being a sixteen-year-old, and a very assertive one at that, he said, “No, I really need to know!” 

So I did my quick, one line synopsis of what the book is about and told him that smart kids worry because their minds take them places they aren’t ready to go emotionally. He thought for a second and said, “So that’s why thinking about what’s beyond the universe and what life is going to be like when I’m eighty is stressing me out?”

EXACTLY. For several months we had been talking about the BIG stuff. What is the point of life anyway? What if we aren’t the only ones in the galaxy? Why do adults spend their whole life saving money only to be too old to use it?  And, even though I tried to steer him back to 16-year-old things like getting a car, driving to the movies on weekends and going to music venues, he was beyond that. Those things weren’t important to him because his mind had already gone beyond them.

So next week when we sit down together I will listen to more BIG ideas, help him sort them out but ultimately, I will steer him back to what’s important. His present life. What he did that day. What he will do tomorrow. Who he hung out with today. What his grades are today, and help him realize that no matter how much time he spends worrying about the BIG questions, BIG questions will always stay BIG and if you spend too much time on them, they will stress even the most stable kids (and adults) completely out.

For more information on how to help smart kids, discover Why Smart Kids Worry.

TIP OF THE WEEK: Need to Get Your Child on the Right Track? Start a Marble Reward System

“The best way to make children good is to make them happy.”    -  Oscar Wilde 

The Marble System is a reward system where kids are asked to do three daily tasks, receiving a marble for each one.  At the end of the day, the child can get a reward for completing the tasks.  The Marble System is a fast, effective way to change the dynamic in the home from negative to positive. 

How to Implement:

Step 1:  Set up the Marble System

Buy a small, clear jar for each of your children.  It is best if all of your children participate in the Marble System, not just the child that’s causing the disruption.  Then, buy a bag of marbles, enough for each of your children to be able to put 10+ marbles inside their jar.  Now, choose 3 tasks that you would like your children to do each day.  The tasks need to be concrete and measurable so that there can be no argument about whether they were performed or not.  For example, “brushing teeth” is a concrete task, whereas “being nice” is not.  “Being nice” is too vague and provides an opening for an argument, so it will not be effective.  The tasks can be the same or different for each child, just as long as each child is assigned one easy task, one moderate task, and one difficult task.  This allows your child to have immediate success rather than feeling a sense of failure, as well as being challenged.  Talk with your spouse about the tasks and agree to be on the same page.  Consistency is crucial to the Marble System being effective.

STEP 2:   Introduce it to Your Kids

Introduce the Marble System when things are going well.  When your kids are in a positive place and everyone is getting along, explain that you are starting a new reward system.  It’s important to show your enthusiasm during this time and to refrain from saying anything negative about their past behavior.  This should be a time of excitement, not of blaming or judging.  Using poster board (or something similar), explain the 3 daily tasks each child needs to do in order to receive a marble.  Be specific and make sure each child fully understands what is expected of them.  Then give a start date that is within three days of when you explain the system so that your kids don’t lose momentum.  On the start date, show lots of enthusiasm and after each task is done, allow each child to place one marble in the jar on their own (this empowers children and removes you from being the middle-man).  If your child shows resistance, encourage him by saying, “I really want you to get a marble for brushing your teeth,” instead of saying, “If you don’t brush your teeth, you won’t get a marble.”  At the end of each day, your kids can either cash in their marbles for a daily treat (such as extra computer time) or they can save their marbles for something larger.  When and how they cash in their marbles is not as important as investing in the process.

Step 3:  Make Adjustments

You may need to adjust the tasks, time of day, or the rewards your children receive after implementing the Marble System.  You may also find that when the novelty wears off, kids may need more incentive to complete their tasks.  If they are angry they might say, “I don’t care if I get a marble,” and on busy days they may even forget to do their tasks.  A great way to rebuild the momentum is to randomly give out extra marbles for good behavior.  Without giving your kids any advance notice, reward them for doing the right thing.  For example, if one child hits another while in the car, when you walk in the door reward the child who got hit for not hitting back.  When you walk in the house say, “I’m giving you an extra marble, Adam.  I’m very proud of you for not hitting in the car.”  You don’t want to add “even though your brother hit you,” as this will likely make your other child angry.  Suddenly, the child who got hit has an extra marble for doing the right thing.  You can also use extra marbles as an incentive for doing the right thing during difficult times (such as car trips, doctor’s appointments, etc.).  Before leaving you can say, “If you sit quietly in the waiting room, you will get an extra marble.”  This is especially useful when kids are saving up their marbles for something big.

What you will find:

Just as getting in trouble is addictive, doing the right thing is addictive, too.  When kids start making the right choices they end up making the wrong choices less and less.  Once the dynamic has shifted, kids will gain enough momentum to make positive changes in all areas of their lives.  The Marble System is also a great way for parents to gather the troops and get everyone on the same page.  Once your kids are doing the right thing, you can get a better idea of what is going on with your anxious child.  You can get a better sense of his anxiety and how his siblings are feeding into it.  When there is chaos, this is not possible.  When the Marble System is in place and things are running smoothly, you can address the issues you weren’t able to address before.

For more effective, practical parenting tools discover Why Smart Kids Worry.

 

 

10 Test-Taking Tips from Appleton-Post Cresent; Featuring “Why Smart Kids Worry”

With the new school year under way, many students from elementary on up through the college ranks already have experienced their first spelling test, pop quiz or exam.

If not, they will be soon along with standardized tests, mid-terms, finals and college entrance exams for some.

Parents and students can use these 10 test-taking tips to help establish healthy habits and test-taking skills for this school year and the many yet to come.

Get a good night sleep

Good sleep is important for growing kids, but when there is an added need for concentration, good thinking and analytical skills, making sure kids get the best sleep possible is essential, said Elaine Krizenesky, a Kimberly mom of two boys, ages 15 and 10.

Ensure eight to 10 hours of sleep the night before a test, Krizenesky said, because when kids are tired they lack a sharp attention to detail and can misread test directions, accidentally skip test questions or overlook key words like NOT, which all can result in simple mistakes.

Eat a good breakfast

“While I am not mom of the year when it comes to making breakfast for the kids, I do not let them out the door without being fueled on exam days,” she said.

Recognizing high-sugar foods only fuel the body for one to two hours and can cause a blood sugar dive and increase sleepiness at test time, she tries to get her kids up 15 minutes earlier for a breakfast of scrambled eggs, toast and turkey or ham slice, Krizenesky said.

“If you can get them to eat a good breakfast including protein, it will stay with (them) and help sustain a longer energy level so they can think about the test rather than their stomach growling,” she said.

Prepare in advance, review and ask questions

To be better prepared to study when test time comes, be proactive and learn to take detailed, legible notes, highlight important text or information in hand-out materials and ask questions throughout the unit being taught, said environmental science teacher Ryan Marx of Appleton East High School.

“Don’t wait until the night before the test to study,” Ryan Marx said. “Give yourself time to (review) and understand your notes and seek help from the teacher if you are not sure about something.”

“Communication between student and teacher is key … as teachers would much rather have a student ask for help ahead of time than do poorly on the test,” said Kathy Marx, an English language arts teacher also at East and Ryan’s wife.

Use visual and verbal tools

For a visual repetitive tool that aids in test success, prepare flash cards with terms and questions to help with memorization and understanding of vocabulary words, difficult concepts or processes, Ryan said.

As an alternative to the student quizzing himself, he can get together with a group of friends or ask a parent or sibling to quiz him using the premade flashcards or other classroom study guides, Kathy said.

Alone or with others, students who verbalize their study material will find they hear themselves reciting the test information in their mind while taking the exam, Ryan said.

Create mental images

According to Dr. Jody Jedlicka, owner and director of LearningRx in Appleton, “Pictures are much easier to remember than words on a page, and memorizing pictures are much faster than trying to remember facts and figures from a textbook.”

As a result, encourage kids to create mental images to recall what they read or heard when studying, and the weirder the better because things that are unusual or unexpected are easiest to remember, Jedlicka said.

As an example, when learning Lansing is the capital of Michigan, “picture Michigan on the map with a lance poking it and something leaking out of it,” she said.

Prepare early for college testing

The best preparation students can take for college entrance exams is to prepare early and take a minimum of three years each of English, math, science and social studies in high school, said Katie Wacker, public relations specialist with ACT Inc.

“ACT research shows that graduates who took at least (this minimum) were more likely to meet the corresponding ACT college readiness benchmark than graduates who took less so take your schoolwork seriously,” Wacker said.

To further prepare for college entrance exams, she suggested students do some practice tests to get a feel for the types of questions and pacing. Sample questions and answers are available for free online at www.actstudent.org/sampletest.

On timed exams, don’t spend 10 minutes on a difficult question only to have time run out, leaving easy questions unanswered, Wacker said.

It is always best to answer the easy questions first, then go back and answer the more difficult ones, if time remains, she said.

“By going back to the items skipped, students may come up with the answer or can work at eliminating as many incorrect choices as possible, increasing guessing accuracy. There is no penalty for guessing,” Wacker said.

Change negative thoughts to positive

“(Kids) often will come into a test thinking ‘I can’t do this,’ and ‘I am not going to pass’ and as a result, they become overcome with anxiety,” said Allison Edwards, Tennessee author, licensed professional counselor and registered play therapist.

Changing the channel of negative thoughts to positive is a tool to alleviate that anxiety, which is also outlined in her upcoming book “Why Smart Kids Worry: And What Parents Can Do to Help,” Edwards said.

“Parents can teach kids a positive thought or statement to repeat over and over, even starting a couple days before test time if they are really anxious,” she said.

Statements kids might say include “I can do this,” “I know the information,” “I’ve studied very hard,” “I am prepared.”

“If parents can teach their kids to change the way they think, they can get a better (test) outcome with much less anxiety,” she said.

Calm the body

Another tip, also noted in her book, is called square breathing, which is a technique that helps kids calm down while in an anxious moment, but it’s something that needs to be practiced well before the exam so it becomes second nature in a test, she said.

It is a four-step breathing technique where kids breathe in through their nose for four slow counts, then hold their breath for four counts, then breathe out through the mouth for four slow counts and rest for four counts, Edwards said.

This works better than simply taking a deep breath and blowing it out because when kids count, it takes their mind off the tense moment, she said.

Get tested and resolve chronic problems

One of the best things parents can do if their children continually struggle with taking tests is get them tested to find out why it is happening, Jedlicka said.

“The biggest benefit to having your skills tested is that once weaknesses are identified, there is something that can be done to change these weaknesses.

“Your brain has the remarkable ability to change and grow in response to experience … and it can be trained to eliminate the cause of the struggle, enhancing abilities and test-taking success,” she said.

— Jill Harp: pcfeatures@postcrescent.com

10 test-taking tips for the new school year and beyond; Article from Appleton-Post Cresent

With the new school year under way, many students from elementary on up through the college ranks already have experienced their first spelling test, pop quiz or exam.

If not, they will be soon along with standardized tests, mid-terms, finals and college entrance exams for some.

Parents and students can use these 10 test-taking tips to help establish healthy habits and test-taking skills for this school year and the many yet to come.

Get a good night sleep

Good sleep is important for growing kids, but when there is an added need for concentration, good thinking and analytical skills, making sure kids get the best sleep possible is essential, said Elaine Krizenesky, a Kimberly mom of two boys, ages 15 and 10.

Ensure eight to 10 hours of sleep the night before a test, Krizenesky said, because when kids are tired they lack a sharp attention to detail and can misread test directions, accidentally skip test questions or overlook key words like NOT, which all can result in simple mistakes.

Eat a good breakfast

“While I am not mom of the year when it comes to making breakfast for the kids, I do not let them out the door without being fueled on exam days,” she said.

Recognizing high-sugar foods only fuel the body for one to two hours and can cause a blood sugar dive and increase sleepiness at test time, she tries to get her kids up 15 minutes earlier for a breakfast of scrambled eggs, toast and turkey or ham slice, Krizenesky said.

“If you can get them to eat a good breakfast including protein, it will stay with (them) and help sustain a longer energy level so they can think about the test rather than their stomach growling,” she said.

Prepare in advance, review and ask questions

To be better prepared to study when test time comes, be proactive and learn to take detailed, legible notes, highlight important text or information in hand-out materials and ask questions throughout the unit being taught, said environmental science teacher Ryan Marx of Appleton East High School.

“Don’t wait until the night before the test to study,” Ryan Marx said. “Give yourself time to (review) and understand your notes and seek help from the teacher if you are not sure about something.”

“Communication between student and teacher is key … as teachers would much rather have a student ask for help ahead of time than do poorly on the test,” said Kathy Marx, an English language arts teacher also at East and Ryan’s wife.

Use visual and verbal tools

For a visual repetitive tool that aids in test success, prepare flash cards with terms and questions to help with memorization and understanding of vocabulary words, difficult concepts or processes, Ryan said.

As an alternative to the student quizzing himself, he can get together with a group of friends or ask a parent or sibling to quiz him using the premade flashcards or other classroom study guides, Kathy said.

Alone or with others, students who verbalize their study material will find they hear themselves reciting the test information in their mind while taking the exam, Ryan said.

Create mental images

According to Dr. Jody Jedlicka, owner and director of LearningRx in Appleton, “Pictures are much easier to remember than words on a page, and memorizing pictures are much faster than trying to remember facts and figures from a textbook.”

As a result, encourage kids to create mental images to recall what they read or heard when studying, and the weirder the better because things that are unusual or unexpected are easiest to remember, Jedlicka said.

As an example, when learning Lansing is the capital of Michigan, “picture Michigan on the map with a lance poking it and something leaking out of it,” she said.

Prepare early for college testing

The best preparation students can take for college entrance exams is to prepare early and take a minimum of three years each of English, math, science and social studies in high school, said Katie Wacker, public relations specialist with ACT Inc.

“ACT research shows that graduates who took at least (this minimum) were more likely to meet the corresponding ACT college readiness benchmark than graduates who took less so take your schoolwork seriously,” Wacker said.

To further prepare for college entrance exams, she suggested students do some practice tests to get a feel for the types of questions and pacing. Sample questions and answers are available for free online at www.actstudent.org/sampletest.

On timed exams, don’t spend 10 minutes on a difficult question only to have time run out, leaving easy questions unanswered, Wacker said.

It is always best to answer the easy questions first, then go back and answer the more difficult ones, if time remains, she said.

“By going back to the items skipped, students may come up with the answer or can work at eliminating as many incorrect choices as possible, increasing guessing accuracy. There is no penalty for guessing,” Wacker said.

Change negative thoughts to positive

“(Kids) often will come into a test thinking ‘I can’t do this,’ and ‘I am not going to pass’ and as a result, they become overcome with anxiety,” said Allison Edwards, Tennessee author, licensed professional counselor and registered play therapist.

Changing the channel of negative thoughts to positive is a tool to alleviate that anxiety, which is also outlined in her upcoming book “Why Smart Kids Worry: And What Parents Can Do to Help,” Edwards said.

“Parents can teach kids a positive thought or statement to repeat over and over, even starting a couple days before test time if they are really anxious,” she said.

Statements kids might say include “I can do this,” “I know the information,” “I’ve studied very hard,” “I am prepared.”

“If parents can teach their kids to change the way they think, they can get a better (test) outcome with much less anxiety,” she said.

Calm the body

Another tip, also noted in her book, is called square breathing, which is a technique that helps kids calm down while in an anxious moment, but it’s something that needs to be practiced well before the exam so it becomes second nature in a test, she said.

It is a four-step breathing technique where kids breathe in through their nose for four slow counts, then hold their breath for four counts, then breathe out through the mouth for four slow counts and rest for four counts, Edwards said.

This works better than simply taking a deep breath and blowing it out because when kids count, it takes their mind off the tense moment, she said.

Get tested and resolve chronic problems

One of the best things parents can do if their children continually struggle with taking tests is get them tested to find out why it is happening, Jedlicka said.

“The biggest benefit to having your skills tested is that once weaknesses are identified, there is something that can be done to change these weaknesses.

“Your brain has the remarkable ability to change and grow in response to experience … and it can be trained to eliminate the cause of the struggle, enhancing abilities and test-taking success,” she said.

— Jill Harp: pcfeatures@postcrescent.com

TIP OF THE WEEK: Your Child Wants to Quit a Sport? Give them “3 Times to Decide”

It’s that time of year for sports sign-ups and many kids are super excited about playing. They can’t wait for the first practice or game, don’t want to take their new jersey off and want to practice to get better. Then, there are those kids who don’t. They went to the first practice and it wasn’t quite what they expected. They didn’t make a goal, didn’t have any friends on the field and ultimately decided they wanted nothing to do with it. And their parents are left making some tough decisions…

Should I let him quit?

Should I make her play even if she doesn’t want to ?

Is making him play going to leave a bad taste in his mouth for future sports?

Let me start by explaining why early experiences with sports can be difficult for kids: The IDEA of playing sports is very different than the REALITY of playing sports.

Kids envision themselves as being instantly successful. They dream of hitting the game winning shot, having their teammates rally around them and being the most valued kid on the team. When this doesn’t happen, kids often want to quit. They stress about going, worry about missing a shot and start isolating themselves from their teammates. Many kids cry all the way to the field, begging their parents to turn the car around and take them back home.

If you are currently in this situation or can even FORESEE this situation, a good strategy is saying, “Let’s make a decision after three times.  You can go to three practices, games, etc. and then decide if you want to continue to play.”  When your child starts to complain after the first practice, remind him/her that we’re going to wait and make a decision after three times.  (*An exception to this rule:  If your child signs up for a SEASON and is expected to play the whole season, then he/she should complete the season without the obligation to ever play the sport again.”) If there is no obligation then use THREE TIMES TO DECIDE.

WHAT YOU WILL FIND:

Within 3 practice or games, many kids will end up liking the sport. They will have been successful, made a friend or feel valued by the coach. If you pull the trigger too soon, this may have not happened. So give your child a chance to like a sport or activity, even though he may not have gotten off to a good start.

For more tools about how to navigate difficult situations with kids, discover Why Smart Kids Worry.