Allison Edwards's Blog, page 5

The Benefit of Therapy Dogs

I have always wanted a Therapy Dog and three years ago, I decided to bring my Golden Doodle puppy to work. He was only 10 weeks old at the time and he was a nightmare! He chewed on my play therapy toys, teethed on my hand and threw up multiple socks in my office. I seriously thought about leaving my wiry ball of fur at home. But my patients would have never let that happen! They were already too attached by then. So, I kept him at work and now he is part of the package. My new website (coming soon!) will feature him and the amount of healing he has provided to my patients is overwhelming.

Walter is the best thing I have done for my practice, for my patients and for myself. Numerous articles have been released about the psychological benefits of dogs. Yet, the most impactful has been research that states petting a dog actually releases endorphins – the same thing that anti-depressants are created to do. So there you have it – an all-natural anti-depressant that you have to walk and feed twice a day. I’ll take it!

Read about the psychological benefits of dogs below:

https://www.bostonglobe.com/lifestyle/2015/01/12/your-brain-pets/geoJHAfFHxrwNS4OgWb7sO/story.html

 

 

 

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How Anxiety Works: Lessons from Kenya

I’ve wanted to go to Africa since I was a kid. I grew up in the era of Michael Jackson’s “We Are the World” and as he, Stevie Wonder and many of my favorites sang, images of starving children in Africa rolled by on the screen. My heart broke for those kids who were sitting in ditches, sucking on fingers with distended stomachs. I wondered how they’d get through another day and thought “how worried these kids must be!” They have no idea where they’ll get their next meal.

Meanwhile, I sat comfortably in a house, with a television, and food in my belly. WORRYING. Worrying about whether I’d have friends in class (when socializing was my best subject) and if I’d pass the third grade (when my grades were never an issue).

I felt guilty. How can I be worrying about these things when there are starving kids in Africa?

Fast forward a few decades. I arrive in Kahuria, Kenya on a service trip. I finally get my chance to relieve myself of guilt for those “foolish” worries I had as a kid and what I found were enthusiastic children in brightly colored, mismatched outfits wearing large smiles. They laughed, played with my hair. They sang songs. They weren’t worried. In fact, they were happier than I had been as a child.

This baffled me. How can kids living in survival not have anxiety? They don’t know where their next meal is coming from or if it will come at all. Diseases run rampant, many parents die young and with so much uncertainty, how can they be singing? Laughing? So at ease?

The answer didn’t come quickly. In fact, I lied awake several nights before the very thing I explain to parents, kids and yes, even myself, came back to me: Anxiety doesn’t exist in the rational. Anxiety lives in the irrational. When there is no threat of real danger, when a B on a test doesn’t mean actual death, when being ignored by a friend isn’t the end of life as we know it, anxiety exists.

The problem is that the irrational feels real. It really feels like a B on a test might be the end of your life or that you can’t survive being ousted from a friend group. The brain doesn’t discern between what is actual survival and what is feigned. That’s our job. The amygdala (our fear center) just does what it does: it alerts us of danger. Our job is to discern between what is really danger and what is our amygdala getting riled up for nothing.

The way I explained this to a teenager last week is like this: when you are getting ready to walk out into the street and you hear screeching tires your amygdala fires to let you know there is danger. But what if you looked up and saw a guy holding a machine that made the sound of screeching tires next to the road? You’d realize the threat wasn’t real, it was this strange guy with an affinity for scaring people.

That’s the power of rational thinking. It’s a struggle for those of us who have anxiety but the only real way to manage it. Those kids in Kenya were dealing with real screeching tires. Most of us here in the U.S. are dealing with the machine. For more information about how anxious and depressed we are compared to other countries click here.

Once we realize it’s a guy with a machine, we can use coping strategies to calm ourselves back down and realize there is no danger. The next time you get riled up about something that isn’t really jeopardizing your survival think about that guy with a machine and give him a little chuckle. It’s been working for me.

 

 

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Why Sports are Good for Anxious Kids

I watched yet another kid climb into the window above the couch in my office. Within minutes, he jumped down, slam dunked a basketball at least 20 times, finally sat down on the floor and said, “Ok, now I’m ready.” He and I both knew what he meant. It was time to start the session. If I had tried to get him to start earlier, things wouldn’t have gone smoothly. In fact, he wouldn’t have been able to focus at all.

Following the session, I talked briefly with his mother. Her first question was, “He wants to play soccer but he’s already playing basketball. Is that too much?” My answer for the parent of this child, along with many other parents, is simple. Anxious kids have an excess amount of energy. Give them an opportunity to let it out and life will be much easier for not only them, but for everyone else in the house.

Just as I let him get some of his energy out before starting the session, it’s important for anxious kids to have MANY opportunities to get their energy out. It just so happens that one of the easiest ways is organized sports. Instead of you having to encourage them to get their energy out, the coach does that for you. Instead of you having to set aside time for exercise, practice and game times are already set. You just have to provide transportation.

In addition, studies have shown that children participating in sports, when compared to peers who do not play sports, exhibit:

• higher grades, expectations, and attainment

• greater personal confidence and self-esteem

• greater connections with school— that is, greater attachment and support from adults

• stronger peer relationships

• more academically oriented friends

• greater family attachment and more frequent interactions with parents

• more restraint in avoiding risky behavior; and

• greater involvement in volunteer work

As an anxious child myself, sports gave me both a physical and mental release. Basketball practice was the best part of my day because whatever I was worrying about before practice started seemed to work its way out by the time it ended. To this day, exercise proves to be my go-to release of both mental and physical energy. It was a tool I learned in childhood and is still beneficial to me as an adult.

If your anxious child wants to play sports, you are in luck. If he or she doesn’t, you may have to be more creative in finding a healthy outlet. But don’t worry, whatever outlet you can help your child find in childhood can become a healthy habit that will last a lifetime.

 

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Byrdseed: A Great Resource for Smart Kids

A couple of months ago while at the SENG Conference in San Jose, I ran across a cool guy with a pretty amazing website. SENG stands for Supported the Emotional Needs of the Gifted and if you haven’t heard of it, I would recommend checking it out. Smart kids are twice as likely to have social and emotional problems and the folks at SENG are doing all they can to make sure smart kids get all of their needs met, not just the academic ones.

Ian Byrd is the founder of Byrdseed and is a former gifted teacher and software engineer. That combo makes for a pretty amazing gift of sharing information about smart kids in an easy-to-read format. He offers lesson plans for teachers, enrichment activities for parents and ideas about how to raise emotional intelligence.

One of my favorite posts is entitled, “Understanding High Energy Gifted Kids.” It is based on the following premise…

The article talks about the 5 OVEREXCITABILITIES that are found in smart kids. Those are:

intellectual – a deep passion to learn about specific topics
imaginational – possessing a rich imaginational world
sensory – having one or more heightened senses
emotional – an unusually large range of emotions
psychomotor – an excess of physical energy

The best part is the approach the article takes, which is to help kids burn off energy rather than requiring them to contain it. You can’t stop energy after all, you have to channel it. By using energy-releasing techniques at home (such as jumping on a mini trampoline before school) and at school (such as placing Therabands on chair legs) overexcited kids can get enough energy out to be successful in almost any situation.

Overall, I find Byrdseed to be a win/win for smart kids and those in their lives.

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Anxiety-Reduction Toy Predicted to be Top 20 Christmas Gift

Every holiday, kids ask for the same things: the new American Girl doll, a high-powered video game or the latest electronic device. However, this year the Sorgenfresser Worry Eater has hit the market and is expected to be big. Huge, actually. So big that Amazon has predicted it to be a top 20 Christmas gift. The idea behind the toy is that children write down or draw a picture of something that is bothering them, put it in the monster’s mouth and zip it shut, thus banishing their worries.

The toy was created in 2008 by Gerd Hahn, a German children’s TV animator and has had huge success across Europe. The first Worry Eater was called Saggo but now there are others…Frula, Betti and Biff. If your child is a worrier, this is a great gift to put under the tree. If it won’t make your list this year, you can buy a jar of Play Doh and make a Worry Jar yourself. Similar to the Worry Eater, the Worry Jar will hold your child’s worries and you’ll save about twenty bucks.

The Worry Eater is pretty cool, though. You can check it out below:

 

 

 

 

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Unconventional Classroom Interventions for Active Kids

Any day now, kids will be filing back into classrooms. After a summer of running around, swimming, going to camps and being free, kids will be expected to sit in desks for nearly seven hours and listen. If they tap pencils, hum or slide around in their chairs, they will be asked to pull cards, move clips or miss recess. They will have to adjust to sitting, and adjust quickly, or parents will be called and kids will be in trouble.

While there are a number of ways to help active kids pay attention, very few seem to work. Kids are moved to the back of the classrooms, have things taken away and are given continual verbal prompts. With any luck, these interventions work and everyone is happy. But when they don’t work, things can fall apart very quickly.

Before you rush to school, take your child’s privileges away or get mad at the teacher, consider trying some different options, options that actually release energy rather than trapping it. The above interventions of moving desks, prompting kids and taking away things tend to TRAP energy. The energy that is trying to be released is getting stuck, often causing kids to be even more active.

Instead, encourage your child’s teacher to use options that release energy. One of my favorite interventions is to place a Thera band on the legs of a desk chair. A Thera Band is essentially a large rubber band that kids can bounce their legs on quietly while class is going on. Kids love Thera Bands not only because they release energy but because the repetitive motion can actually soothe anxiety.

Active kids can have success in school. We just have to give them the outlets they need to be able to survive in a world where movement is not ideal..at least until recess.

 

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Preparing Your Child for Sleepaway Camp

Going to sleepaway camp is a huge milestone for kids. It is a chance to get away, make new friends, try out new activities and figure out how to manage one their own. There are a variety of sleepaway camps that do a wonderful job of creating safe, comforting and fun environments but even so, many kids are terrified of going to sleepaway camp and will do nearly anything to get out of it.

I have found that boys are just as afraid, if not MORE afraid of going to sleepaway camp than are girls. There are different expectations for boys and being homesick is often a sign of weakness. Boys are aware of these expectations and often feel more pressure to be tough and NOT be homesick. Girls can have struggles as well and after parents have paid large deposits and have committed their children to a week or more of sleepaway camp, it is extremely disappointing to have their kids not want to go.

Therein lies the question: Do kids really need to go to sleepaway camp?

Does it really help kids learn how to survive away from home? Offer opportunities to meet new friends? Develop new parts of their personality? Help them become more well-rounded? Independent?

YES. Sleepaway camp does all of these things for kids if they are able and willing to let themselves fully experience it. If they cry every night, have a continual stomachache and say you ruined their lives by sending them, than the answer is NO. It didn’t do what it’s supposed to do which is give kids a chance to develop parts of themselves they wouldn’t otherwise develop in their normal environment.

HERE ARE SOME TIPS TO HELP CHILDREN BE PREPARED FOR SLEEPAWAY CAMP:

1. Have your child buy-in on the front end. Do not surprise your child with signing him up for something that was not agreed upon before. This will lead to resentment from your child.

2. If your child is signed up, stick with your decision. It is common for children to get cold feet before sleepaway camp. If you let your child out of going, you send the message that hard things can be avoided, which is not the message you want to send. Instead remind him of the earlier decision and help soothe him until time to go.

3. Prepare but do not over talk it. Go over packing lists, daily routines, camp layout, etc. but do not check-in with your child about it on a daily basis. This can promote anxiety. If your child is not thinking about sleepaway camp and you bring it up, you remind him of the anxiety and he may become afraid again. It’s sort of like picking a scab.

4. Manage your own anxiety. If you are worried about your child going away, he is likely to pick up on it. Often, parents have just as hard of a time being away from their kids as kids have being away from their parents. Make sure you are supportive and relaxed about your child going away, at least in front of your child.

5. Let your child know how you will communicate. Tell your child when you will be writing, show him what you will be sending (i.e. their favorite things, if allowed) and when you will be picking him up. Go over the procedures for telling a counselor if he needs anything and remind him that you will be available should a problem arise.

6. On the ride to sleepaway camp, be lighthearted and fun. Allow one last use of the iPad or a movie on the way to help ease anxiety.

Finally, remember that sleepaway camp can be an amazing experience for kids. Many kids attend the same sleepaway camp for years and develop friendships that last a lifetime. It is a place with fewer expectations and a freedom that many kids don’t get to experience without getting away. It can also be a great break for parents, too!

 

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Structuring Summer Eases Anxiety

Many anxious kids are already getting nervous. It isn’t because of standardized testing or that they’re stuck in school while the weather is beautiful outside. It’s because summer is coming and with summer comes anxiety.

How could kids POSSIBLY be anxious in summer? There isn’t homework or tests or long hours sitting in a desk. What there is however, is unstructured time.  And, unstructured time is no friend of anxiety. As a matter of fact, unstructured time is the worst possible thing for anxiety.

Why? Because anxious kids have mental energy that is not being used up. Instead of being mentally engaged by the structure and requirements of school, anxious kids have too much time to think. Ponder. Worry.

So, the best thing a parent can possibly do during this transition is to structure the unstructured. Instead of seeing the summer as two months of open-ended time, help your child break the summer down into weeks. It goes something like this:

Buy a white board calendar and post it in the kitchen where the whole family can see. Sit down with your child and begin marking off things you already have planned such as vacations, summer camps, etc. After you have filled up the calendar with already scheduled events, start filling in the holes. Talk about activities such as going to the zoo, having a play date or going to the park. Involve your child in the process but be willing to make suggestions of your own. Bring out the calendar to add something new and by the start of summer your child will have a sense of what will happen, thus lessening his or her anxiety. 

The tool above is called “Structuring the Unstructured” which can be found in Why Smart Kids Worry. Order today, it’s only $2.99 in the Kindle Store until March 5th!

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Why Smart Kids Worry is ONLY $2.99 in Kindle Store Until March 5th!

SPREAD THE WORD! IT ONLY LASTS UNTIL MARCH 5TH!

For those who have already bought the book and want to have it on-the-go, this is a great chance to have it at your fingertips. For those of you who haven’t, this is a great opportunity to have the book just in time for summer!

Click here to order:  Why Smart Kids Worry Kindle Store

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What Spring Can Do for Anxious Kids

After one of the coldest winters in history, kids are throwing on shorts, running out of the house and sucking up every last minute of daylight. And after months of being cooped up, they are feeling the freedom of being able to get out their energy. This is something all kids need to do, but even more so, anxious kids.

As I always say, anxiety is energy and if energy doesn’t have a place to go, it gets stuck. One of my favorite tools in Why Smart Kids Worry is Run Fast, Jump High which helps anxious kids get their energy out by planning certain times each day for exercise. It can be walking the dog, jumping on a trampoline or running around the yard before school. The tool works because it provides a channel for anxiety to be released on a regular basis rather than being bottled up. If this can happen in the morning, it is a dream scenario for teachers. Anxious kids will arrive at school with less anxiety and be much calmer, more relaxed.

This is also an effective tool on weekends where time crawls and kids are often bored. If you plan activities in the morning, where kids can let out their energy, you will have a much more pleasant day. Your child will be more relaxed and, as a result, you will, too. Let us all enjoy the spring and release a little more of what we’ve been holding all winter.

 

 

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