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What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

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Published on March 20, 2023 10:58

What will you sell?

When we are frightened, when we are in fear, what will we sell? Carolyn Myss

I listened to a talk given by Carolyn Myss and let me tell you, it blew my mind right open. Carolyn, one of the teachers that I continue to learn so much from on this journey, asked, what do you give up or give in to when you are in fear? What do you sell? Do you sell your soul? Your friendships? anything?

Do you stay quiet?

Do you speak up?

Do you stay in the job, the relationship, the friendship, the space?

Do you walk away?

What do you do to keep the peace, to not rock the boat - because you are afraid? Simply because you are just afraid- and what does that fear look and sound like?

"I just want to keep my job"; " they are powerful people and I can get victimized", "we have economic ties, its difficult to start over"; "I want to be safe" - there is some fear underneath all of it.

When we use fear as a way of being and staying safe, we are never going to be safe. We give away our innate and authentic power. it becomes draining, you compromise your whole self. You create a hemorrhage of your power of intuition, when this happens, you start losing trust for yourself and your inner voice. The more you drain the power of your intuition, your self, the more paranoid you become, more frightened, more insecure- from that space self loathing can easily come in and following on from that you can project it outward.

Invest in your power, rather than sell it because of fear.

Don't give your word if you don't mean it.

Keep in mind always that there is nothing to fear.

Don't agree with something or someone because you feel your safety in the group is threatened.

Nothing is more important than you protecting your power. Practice it, daily, come with me on the Journey, I am starting today.

Peace

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What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

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Published on March 18, 2023 14:19

So what is Self Esteem?

So what is self-esteem? And what does it mean to have a healthy dose of it?Well, in short, self-esteem is the beliefs you hold about yourself. Healthy self-esteem means accepting yourself for who you are, warts and all. Stacey Hererra

Sharing below a piece from Stacey Hererra that resonated with me

"Self-esteem = seeing yourself as a flawed person, and still holding yourself in high regard."

But most of us don't have self-esteem. We have what Terry Real describes as:

Other-based-esteem: where we rely solely on other people for our sense of worth. "I am as worthy as they think I am."

or

Attribute-based-esteem: where we focus on the tangible parts of ourselves, such as our appearance or accomplishments. "I am worthy because of what I have."

or

Performance-based-esteem: where we rely on the things we do or achieve to determine our value and worth. "I am as worthy as what I can do."

But none of these are accurate.

Healthy self-esteem comes from within, not to be confused with self-love."

After reading this, my eyes, ears and mouth opened! Confessions on the Journey- I still so base my sense of worth on a combination of performance and others, and here is the thing - there is NO need for me or any of us to do this.

Why? Well for starters, its exhausting, and unsustainable. People change their mind all the time and there are times for different reasons we cannot complete a task or perform at our peak as we did before. Does that mean that we are less worthy? Does that mean the next time we must prove to others that we are worthy?

Hell no

Your worth has nothing to do with what you have, or what you do

Your worthy because you are here, alive and breathing. It really is that simple. You determine who you want to be based on your worthiness which comes from being alive. Its an untangling and a process to remind yourself and remember that you are worth it, you are enough!

Many of us get disappointed because others did not complement us, we made mistakes at work and many other external factors- these are lessons, guideposts - they do not determine our value, our worth- that my friends, is an inside job!

Peace

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What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

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Published on March 15, 2023 11:01

Showing up Real

Choosing to show up as who we are might mean facing the projections others hold and no longer shapeshifting ourselves to avoid them. It might mean letting go of the comfort we might find in performing the roles we assume we must stay in to belong. It might mean facing the uncertainty of outcome, the potential for rejection or failure, the disapproval and disappointment. Yet what comes as a side effect of showing up as who we are has felt much bigger than all of that. Lisa Olivera

Showing up...real has been a journey that I have embarked upon since my life changed a few years ago. The person I was then, or the person I believed I was then has changed. I felt a strong desire for people to see that and, in hindsight, fought so much both internally and externally for that. Sometimes in the fighting I lost focus on me, wanting to show and prove to others that I am no longer the person you believed I was. Back then, I wanted approval, I wanted to be liked, I wanted to have and acquire. Since then, confessions - nothing much change with the wanting to be liked and getting approval, I was now looking and doing it in a different way. Hindsight is really an eye opener. As time passed and I put more effort in becoming self aware I learned that showing up as who we are takes no proving, no wanting to be liked by others and no pretense.

Now as I grow and recognize that I have changed even further, I know that showing up real is rooted in intentions, it is grounded in making yourself proud, it comes from a space of knowing you you are. And from this space of being grounded and rooted, we can do what we need to do with a sense of peace, calm and love. There will be differences of opinions, there will be people who think of you in the past, there will be dissenters. When they appear because we are grounded we can keep an open mind knowing that we did our best, we showed up real and there is nothing more to prove.

Peace

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What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

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Published on March 13, 2023 09:04

Six Revelations on Moving Forward

Even if you are enlightened, there is nothing spiritual about opening every aspect of your life to everyone just because he or she is an innocent child of God. The Holy Spirit gives you that discernment. Keep your heart open and discern. Sometimes the lesson is to discern. We meet certain people to teach us discernment Marianne Willamson

1. Do not bargain your self worth - you bargain your self worth when you are willing to accept a situation which dishonors you ,consistently, to keep the peace and to avoid arguments,

-stay in your comfort zone, feeling ashamed and accept bad behavior and nonsense because of fear of losing.

2. Change your thoughts- first you must pay attention to the thoughts that are in your head. Many times we become unconscious negative and self defeating thoughts we hold on to. I ask myself often "what are you thinking?" and when I find myself in a spiral, rather than beat up myself again, I say "Oh how interesting, let me think about something I like or something positive. Its a constant work in progress.

3. Be willing to see a situation differently - A Course in Miracles has taught me this. What if you changed the way you view the situation? What if you changed the way you spoke about it? A simple shift like that can put you on pause when we are in a cycle of constant negative thoughts and over thinking.

4. Change the Story - The story you have been telling over and over again, the one that makes you feel like crap, the one that says you are a victim, the one that does not bring you joy. Change it. This is not to say that you ignore your feelings or deny what is in front of you. It comes from a place of the willingness to see things differently.

5. Release people and situations - especially those that have told you via actions and words that they prefer to be somewhere else, situations that disempower and dishonor you. Release them by letting them go and focus on how you can be your best self.

6. Get excited about what God and the Universe has in store for you, prepare yourself through your thoughts, words and deeds lining up.

Peace

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What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

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Published on March 11, 2023 13:02

Sacred Ground

Where you are standing is sacred. We all have our part to play on the sacred ground upon which we now stand. Iyanla Vanzant

Where you are now standing is sacred ground.

Where you are, right now, in this moment, is not by chance. It is not by coincidence, it is by design.

I truly believe so. I truly believe that wherever we are in the present moment it is by divine design. There is always a lesson, a reason, a purpose, a blessing. Always

What is Sacred Ground?

Sacred ground is where you can make a positive contribution to wherever you are placed, wherever you are

Sacred ground is where you can make a difference

Sacred ground is where you can do your best in the moment

Sacred ground is where you can be authentic and true

Sacred ground is where you decide to take care of yourself, to rest.

Sacred ground is where you can demonstrate to yourself that you are worthy

Sacred ground is knowing that not only are you good enough, you are more than enough.

Sacred ground is where you leave the space better than you found it

Where you are standing in this very moment is sacred ground.

Now what?

You are here on sacred ground:

To learn

To grow

To create

To love

To serve

To make yourself proud

When you make yourself proud, you show up differently.

And no one said that it would be easy, the question is are you willing?

As I accepted that where I was standing, I was on sacred ground, my intentions changed, there was a shift in me, the way I felt about being there changed.

Right here, right now, I encourage you to embrace and accept that where you stand is on sacred ground. Who are you being as you stand?

Stand on your sacred ground in equity.

Stand on your sacred ground for equality.

Stand on your sacred ground for truth.

Stand on your sacred ground for paying it forward.

Stand on your sacred ground in service.

Stand on your sacred ground in love.

Stand on your sacred ground knowing why you are here.

Stand on your sacred ground knowing that you here for more than work.

Peace

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What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

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Published on March 09, 2023 13:04

Lost in the Woods

I had to stop fighting. I had to stop resisting. I had to surrender all my ideas of how my life was supposed to be so I could have the life I was meant to have. Every loss was a way of traveling lighter, eliminating what wouldn’t serve me on my journey. This hard-won understanding was both enlightening and painful. Alicia Rodriguez

No, literally, I was lost in the real woods this weekend. On a Sunday, I would wake up early and take a walk on some of the beautiful trails about 20 minutes drive from where I live. I look forward at the start of a new week, to taking those walks, the peacefulness of it all, the discovery, sometimes I would unexpectedly meet rivers, streams, waterfalls, monkeys, birds, sometimes people. Nature has always been a regenerator, a healing of sorts for me. Its simplicity reminds me that there is a level of magnificence and grace in life when we pay attention.

I have been going alone for a very long time, I would invite someone ever so often. On this Sunday I decided to invite on of my dear friends, who I believed would appreciate being in nature.

We set off and decided to follow the trail to the end. What we realized is that perhaps we made a turn off the trail as 3 hours and 20 minutes later we were still on a trail that usually takes 1 hour 15minutes maximum. Did I panic? Yes. I confess that I did panic. After the panic ended, we saw another marked trail and decided to stick to it until the end.

This trail was challenging, we had to climb up a river, climb some serious hills, battle with some bugs, it was epic! Then we had an idea maybe the GPS on my phone could lead us out - lo and behold there was no signal in the deep woods. We would wait. When I did get to a point where there was a signal, my phone was ready to discharge- on its last legs the GPS said 2 more hours to our destination. Never! I refused to believe that.

What a reflection and mirror, when things come up in my life that are challenging and not to my liking I dismiss it. The lesson is always - without acceptance of what is, what is the truth we give up our power to make an informed decision.

Finally, we saw the end of the trail and a road. The relief was immense. When I got out onto the road almost 4 hours later, I realized we really were at least one hour and a half from where the car was parked. We had to dig deep. We decided to walk the 10k to the main road adn take a taxi to our car, it had to be done.

When the taxi stopped for us, and we asked him to take us to where our car was, he started asking questions about where we came from, when we told him we were in the woods, he could not believe it. He told us we were very brave, that it really is admirable that we did that, no water, no guide, he knows the terrain.

When we set off on a path with we will never know all the unexpected twists, turns and detours that will arise. What is important is having a goal, an intention and an unwavering faith that no matter what we will learn from it, we will gain from it, that the Universe is right there with us as we journey through.

I must say, I was sore as hell after that 5 hour trek, content yet sore! Happy to show myself again that life, just like this walk in the woods, will bring us adventures and its all about how we show up and respond to them.

Peace

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What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

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Published on March 06, 2023 05:43

Change requires deep devotion

Change requires courage, it requires consistency, it requires deep devotion. And this deep devotion to create lasting change lacks in people who are not truly ‘done with it’, who are not aware of the suffering it creates for them, how severely it limits them, and still find ways to escape from it, to numb themselves. Lori Krenn

What are you "Done With?"

Let me tell you, declaring that you are DONE with something with conviction and belief to the Universe works wonders. That declaration says, I am willing, I am ready, I am convicted in a firm belief to move, shift, change, rearrange this thing that I am declaring boldly that I am done with.

I am DONE WITH procrastinating

I am DONE WITH perfectionism

I am DONE WITH people pleasing

I am DONE WITH putting myself last

I am DONE WITH playing small

I am DONE WITH over explaining

I am DONE WITH not prioritizing my health

I am DONE WITH not speaking up

I am DONE WITH dishonoring my own boundaries

I am DONE WITH overgiving

I am DONE WITH being afraid of rejection and abandonment

I am DONE with judging myself harshly

What are you DONE WITH?

Peace

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What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

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Published on March 03, 2023 10:29

March is the Journey to Patience

Tell me how much you want it. Tell me how much you want it and how much more you want it than afraid of it Iyanla Vanzant

What does patience mean to you? Growing up, I remember my mother telling me multiple times that I was too impatient, I wanted want I wanted and I wanted it now! I did not understand what she meant, why was there a problem in getting and having what I want...and right away.

When I did not get what I want and in quick time, I would throw a tantrum, which most times got me in a heap of trouble. When I realized that the tantrum was not working, I started "searching" for solutions to get what I want when I want. Many times, that yielded results and other times huge disappointments. What I did learn from searching for solutions was that there is a balance, a connection in searching for a solution and getting what we want when we want. The connection is to faith, trust, surrender and acceptance.

On this Journey to patience, let me remember that patience goes beyond just waiting -- it’s the metaphysics of knowing that resting calmly will deliver in time, on time, all the time.

On this journey, I accept that patience is not inaction, it is a presence of trust, of love

One this journey, let me remind myself that “Those who are certain of the outcome can afford to wait, and wait without anxiety”

Hello March

Let's do this

Peace and Blessings

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What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

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Published on March 01, 2023 04:46

On the Flip Side of Surrender

Prove. Prove that I’m worthy. Prove they made the right choice. Prove I deserve to be there. Prove I haven’t lost my edge. Prove that I’m relevant. Prove, prove, prove and more proving.

it will just hit different when you put in that hard work from a place of worthiness, from a place of knowing your why, instead of feeling like you have everything to prove Maxie

February is coming to a close, and on the Journey to Surrender, I have learnt that, there is a certain level of faith and courage required to release, to give up the need to control, fix, change a situation that we want to be a particular way.

Releasing the need to be right, the need to have it our way says to the Universe "I trust you to take this from me, my human limitations, my egotistic desires to transform it into a blessing, a lesson, a portal.

Marianne Williamson said it in this way "place it on the altar to be altered"

What are you holding on to?

What are you holding on to in fear?

Who are you pushing to change?

Who are you secretly hoping to see your way?

What are you justifying knowing its draining you, devaluing you?

Who are you wanting to like you and are performing for, rather than being yourself?

Surrender it all. Surrender it all

And see what happens on the flipside

Peace

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