Barnabas Piper's Blog, page 32

God’s Love Embodied

“In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him.” – 1 John 4:9

What does it mean that the love of God was made manifest? Does it mean made evident? “Made obvious? Made visible? Yes, it does. But it means much more than that, too, more than simply God showing His love.

When John says the love of God is manifest, it means much more than a mere sign or symbol being given. It means that the love of God was embodied—this love became a person, Jesus Christ himself.

How does this change our response and receiving of God’s love? We should no longer reduce God’s love to a mere feeling, a vibe, or a thought—something intangible, ethereal, far away, or inaccessible. Neither should we think of God’s love as being doled out in portions to the deserving or earned in any way.  Instead, we can know and relate to God’s love in the person of Jesus Christ. To follow Jesus is to walk in the love of God!

The end of the verse says that Jesus came “that we might live through Him.” Do you see how this fits together? God’s love, manifested in the person and work of Jesus, is our very source of life. God loved us so much that He sent Jesus in order that we may “have life and have it abundantly.” (John 10:10)

So when you wonder if God loves you or struggle to feel His love for you, look to Jesus. He is the proof. He is the love of God, given for you. If you are in Christ, you are in the love of God, safe and secure for eternity.

I originally wrote this post for my church, Immanuel Nashville, in our Daily Pulse email. If you want encouragement from God’s word delivered Monday thru Friday to your inbox, I encourage you to subscribe! 

Photo by Casey Horner on Unsplash

Rejoice in the Lord (Thoughts on Joy and Prepositions)

Finally, my brothers, rejoice in the Lord. To write the same things to you is no trouble to me and is safe for you. (Philippians 3:1)…Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. (Philippians 4:4)

I was raised by writers, which means I have been well acquainted with (read: battered over the head by) grammar since I was a child. While I’ve resented it at points, it has also opened my eyes to the power of words. Today I want to reflect with you on prepositions, those pesky little words that explain the relationship between two things: by, with, over, under, through, etc.

They are so easy to brush past as we read the Bible. But so much of our Christian reality is revealed by prepositions.

We are saved BY grace, THROUGH faith. (Ephesians 2:8)For FROM Him, and THROUGH Him, and TO Him are all things. (Romans 11:36)IN the beginning was the Word and Word was WITH God. (John 1:1)

Let’s reflect now on one phrase: rejoice in the Lord. (Philippians 3:1, 4:4). We generally know what “rejoice” means. We know who “the Lord” is. But how do they fit together? What does in mean?

The Lord is the REASON for our rejoicing.

If I told you to rejoice in your kids, your spouse, or your friends, this is what it would mean. Rejoice because of who they are and the joy they bring you. They are your reason for rejoicing. How much more so, then, is Jesus Christ our reason for rejoicing? We rejoice because of who He is and what He has done–sacrifice, love, mercy, grace, and promise. We rejoice in the Lord because of what He has done in and for us and who He is in himself.

The Lord is the SOURCE of our rejoicing.

Jesus is not only the reason we rejoice, He is also the source of our rejoicing.  We rejoice out of the Lord–He is the well of goodness and hope that our hearts draw on for rejoicing. We rejoice in the strength and ability of the Lord–the Holy Spirit (who is the presence of Jesus, Himself) indwells all Christians, and He empowers and adjusts our hearts toward rejoicing in Jesus.

The Lord is the LOCATION of our rejoicing.

When God saves us, we are in Christ. We are spiritually relocated from outside the kingdom of Christ to inside it, from the realm of the dead to the being alive withChrist. It is a deep and wide reality that is not easy to wrap up in words, but it means Christ is with us always, the center of our world, and holds on to us without fail. He is our very life, so we rejoice in Him.

What a comfort to know that “rejoice in the Lord” is a command that doesn’t depend on our ability to gin up praise. It draws on the infinite well of Christ’s goodness and is empowered by His Spirit’s constant, unfailing presence.

I originally wrote this post for my church, Immanuel Nashville, in our Daily Pulse email. If you want encouragement from God’s word delivered Monday thru Friday to your inbox, I encourage you to subscribe! 

Header photo by Glen Carrie on Unsplash

What Do I Do If: Questions About Church Disappointment and Hurt

This is an excerpt, the entirety of chapter 5, from my book  Belong: Loving Your Church by Reflecting Christ to One Another (2023, The Good Book  Company). 

I fell in love with the Calvin & Hobbes comic strips and books when I was a kid and my enjoyment of them has not abated at all over the past 30-plus years. In one strip, Calvin is very excited about building a model airplane. He imagines the majestic fighter jet and is lost in rapture at the beauty of it. He pictures the sleek design and intimidating array of weapons and can’t wait to see the final product. Of course, the actual building of the plane goes terribly awry (which is to be expected when a six-year-old tries to do detailed work or follow instructions), and what he ends up with is a sort of Frankenstein’s-monster-meets-Picasso-painting contraption dripping with excess glue. Needless to say, Calvin is not pleased.

Often, our experience with church resembles this. We picture something beautiful, sleek, and powerful. We have visions of how wonderful it is going to be, how easily we will fit in, how perfect a fit it will be for us. But then we find instead something unpleasant, ineffective, or otherwise less than we hoped for. The reality of churches often falls far short of our visions, which leaves us with the difficult and complicated question of what it means to belong to a church that fails in some way. In this chapter I will seek to answer this question by looking at three different categories of frustration you may encounter at church: feeling like you don’t belong, being disappointed by your church, and being hurt by your church. Most of us will experience the first two and, sadly, the third is fairly common as well, so feel free to jump to the category most pertinent to you.

1. What do I do when I don’t feel like I belong at my church?

Throughout this book I have tried to build an understanding of belonging in church that is rooted in biblical definitions and perspectives. What it means to “belong” to a church is much more significant and substantial than a mere feeling of comfort or similarity, so this question applies to the definition and understanding I have sought to establish. It assumes that you see the church as a place God intends for you to belong and that you understand you are part of the family, part of the body, part of the structure. So you must evaluate the church, and yourself, according to that deeper, more substantial standard.

Ask “Is there the aroma of Christ in this church?”

Over the years, I have attended and been a member of churches where I began to sense that maybe I did not belong there. It didn’t feel right. Something was off. Maybe you have had a similar experience. My instinct was to run through a checklist of things every good church should have: biblical preaching, a strong doctrinal statement, meaningful and biblical music, opportunities for community, and so on. In most cases the churches checked each box (otherwise I wouldn’t have joined them in the first place). Something else was amiss.

For many years I could not identify what it was. It was sort of the barometric pressure of church health—I could feel the ache a little bit and I knew it indicated something, but it was invisible to me. I’ve come to realize that it is the culture of the church, the aroma of Christ (2 Corinthians 2:15-16), that was missing. Did the people of the church, starting with the leaders, exude the welcome of Jesus? Was it marked by humility, by gentleness, by honesty and by honor? Did the preaching help us see and feel the love and forgiveness and very heart of Jesus, or did it burden us with law and guilt? Was it clear that the whole service centered on Jesus in worship and praise and reverence and joy? Sure the programs might be well run and the teaching content might be solid and trustworthy, but if a church does not exude the attitude and heart of Jesus then, yes, something is off.

In Revelation 2 we read the first of Jesus’s seven letters to churches, addressed to the church in Ephesus. He commends them for their good works, their faithfulness to truth, and their endurance. But then Jesus says, “you have abandoned the love you had at first” (2:4). This church checked the boxes of “a healthy church” in terms of their doctrine and effort, but they were in truth not healthy at all, for they lacked passion and life in Christ. Their good works and steadfastness to truth were missing something that Jesus deemed of utmost importance: a love for Jesus in response to his love for them. If you find yourself feeling like you don’t belong, like your seemingly healthy church is missing something, it might be the love and aroma of Christ.

Self evaluate and audit

So when you feel that you don’t belong at a church, it may be that your church is missing something vital. But it may also be that you are missing something, or missing an opportunity for something. Biblical belonging requires investment and commitment, as we’ve seen. So are you doing your part? Are you giving the church everything you can?

This will vary from person to person and situation to situation. We have people who come into our church exhausted, wounded, cynical, fearful, or simply just brand new to the Christian faith. What they are able to give the church (and what the church ought to ask of them) is massively different from someone who comes in healthy, vibrant, energized, and mature in faith. For the first group, all they can give might be their presence, their listening ear, their willingness to take a risk by being honest, and their questions. The second group can give their whole selves to the church with joyful abandon and energy. You may be more like the first group or the second group, or somewhere in the middle, but having worked that out, if you want to belong to the church then give all you can.

The “one another” commands in Scripture that we looked at in chapter three (love one another, build one another up, bear with one another, forgive one another, serve one another, be devoted to one another, pray for one another, instruct one another, live in harmony with one another, submit to one another) are two-way streets. You cannot truly belong to a body if you expect to receive these but are unwilling to give them, or keep score and then scale back when you feel you’re giving more than you’re getting. When you feel like you don’t belong in a church, it may be that you are holding back your heart in one or more of these commands and are creating distance where it need not exist.

One practical, but challenging, area to self-evaluate is that of time. Have you given your church enough time? Often our initial impressions are inaccurate, both of people and churches. We catch them on a down day or in an odd season. I spoke to a man recently who told me his initial impression of our church was that it was very focused on giving and money and he found this off putting. Well, he had visited for the first time during a brief capital campaign when we were, in fact, talking a lot about giving and money. It took him time (thankfully he was patient) to realize there was much more to the church than that. In the same way it takes time to get to know the true, good character of a person, it takes time to know the true, good culture and character of a church.

One final question to ask yourself is whether you are equating preferences with non-negotiables. It is easy to judge the “goodness” or “health” of a church by whether it fits our preferences. It is fine to have preferences about music, preaching style, small groups, Sunday school classes, kids programs, or whatever. It is problematic when we make our preferences the righteous standard for a church. Your preferences do not supersede or define the aroma of Christ in a church. So preferences will inevitably influence your decision about joining a church, but don’t let them move you toward judgment or disparagement, because that will keep you from finding belonging.

But how can we accurately and humbly weigh our preferences? Having preferences is inevitable; we all like some things more than others. But how do we make decisions based off these in church? When we’re ordering food at a restaurant we simply choose what we like; it’s the same when we decide what music to play in the car or what shoes to buy. But the church isn’t a provider of goods and services and we aren’t consumers, so we need a different value system for our preferences. In most cases it isn’t black and white, right and wrong. Here are a few questions to ask as you consider how to make decisions based off your preferences.

Does your preference reflect a biblical reality or a self-serving one? (Or both?)

We occasionally have people leave our church to join a church closer to where they live. This is more convenient to them, sure. But it’s also an effort to invest in biblical community where their life is centered. We also have people who drive 40+ minutes to be part of our church. We have people who leave because they desire a more (or less) liturgical service, and in both cases they are seeking a form of worship that allows them to express their heart before the Lord more fully. And we have people who stay despite their desire that we be more (or less) liturgical. In each case the preference, and the decision people make, reflects a biblical desire.

Is your preference an expression of fear, desire for control, or closed mindedness?

It is so easy to attach moral value to matters of preference (just ask my kids how strongly I feel about the “right” way to load the dishwasher). Often when we do this it reveals something in our hearts and lives that needs challenging: we are afraid of change, we want things our way, or we are simply unaware of new (and maybe better) ways of doing things. So we plant a moral flag on a matter of preference and begin advocating for it and maybe even waging war over it. If we feel strongly that our preference is “right” but are unable to both articulate why from a biblical perspective and listen humbly to alternative perspectives, we likely have made an idol out of a preference.

Can you set aside your preference for the sake of unity in the church?

Unity cannot happen if we all die on the hills of our preferences. So we must ask ourselves if we are able to lay ours down and “count others more significant” than ourselves (Philippians 2:4). If the answer is “no,” we need to revisit the two questions above. Is it a biblical, God-honoring preference? Or is my heart clinging to an idol? If the answers to these questions are yes and no, respectively, then that preference becomes the basis for deciding whether to leave a church. If, however, you can set it aside then you are contributing further to the unity of that body.

What if the church doesn’t have the aroma of Christ?

It is a difficult and often heartbreaking realization to see that your church lacks a Jesus-reflecting culture. What are you called to do then? Very simply, I would say be the culture you yearn to see. Be humble. Be honest. Be honoring. Be full of rejoicing. Jesus is magnetic and contagious. Others in the church are likely aching for the same thing, and when they find you, real Christian community will happen. Don’t just hope they will find you, though. Invite people into this culture with you. God uses vibrant, faithful Christians to breathe the life of Christ into stultified, stoic, cold churches.

Be gospel culture in your church until you cannot. Pray for perseverance. Pray for spiritual fruit and life. Pray for strength and joy in the Lord. And yet a time may come when moving on is necessary. This isn’t a sin or even a failure, even though you may well feel like it. If you leave a church, leave well. Leave with the same humility, honesty, and honor you poured into it. (Honesty, in this case, might mean having a conversation with a pastor as to your reasons for moving on, being forthright without being accusatory.) Leave with gratitude for what God did do through your time as part of that church, not just sadness or frustration at your departure. You gave yourself to it for a time in hopes that God would do great things through that body, and when you leave remember it is still Christ’s body, and continue yearning for the same works of God in and through it.

2. What do I do when the Church disappoints me?

Your church will disappoint you—no question. Every church you are ever part of or could ever be part of will disappoint you. The only way to avoid disappointment in a church is to expect nothing of it in the first place, in which case, why would you be part of a church at all?! Think of the imagery we looked at in chapter two that Scripture uses to describe the church: a family, a body, a building. Families have friction and conflict, even the relatively healthy ones. A healthy family is not one without conflict, but one that handles their inevitable conflicts well. Some families are downright dysfunctional or full of animosity. (If your church is like this, the next section on being hurt by the church is likely for you, and you would be wise to seek a healthy church family)

Bodies get sick. Joints ache or blow out. Muscles pull and tear. Bones break. Allergy season lays a body low. Even healthy people get random headaches and scratchy throats.

Buildings crumble and decay. The plumbing leaks. The mortar crumbles. Storms rip the shingles off. Dust gathers in every corner. Constant maintenance is required just to keep a building from falling apart.

The church is a coalition of sinners, a collection of failures, and a gathering of the dysfunctional. Including you and me. So of course we will disappoint one another. The question we face is what to do when that happens.

Our instinct is to think that something which disappoints us has failed us. A better instinct to develop would be to question our expectations. Every disappointment is an unmet expectation, so when the church disappoints us we need to be confident that our expectations are right and fair and biblical. You and I are part of that sinner/failure/dysfunctional group, so it stands to reason that our expectations might not be perfect.

Ask yourself the following three questions, taking some time to really consider them.

Can I specifically articulate my expectations for the church?

Frustrations and disappointments are easier to articulate than expectations or hopes, so it is often easier to complain about what you don’t like than to explain what you hope for. The downside to this is that often your complaints don’t touch on the heart of the issue. For example, you might say “I don’t like how we run small groups,” but your hope is “I want a few close friends in this church who I can be accountable to and who really build me up in my faith.” It is helpful to be able to clearly state what you expect and want the church to do or be, because until you can articulate the expectation behind the disappointment you won’t be able to resolve it.

Are my expectations driven more by preferences or biblical standards?

We touched on this earlier in the chapter. Once you have articulated your expectations you need to take them to the Bible and see what it has to say. Scripture will not always address particular preferences (music style, sermon length, program format, and so on). But it addresses the heart of the Christian, the shape of true worship, the centrality of the gospel, the foundational nature of the Bible, and so forth. Traditional hymns are not necessarily more or less biblical than more contemporary styles of music, but our willingness to worship with an open heart and our humility toward those who disagree is a deeply biblical issue. The Bible may not change our preferences but it will change our hearts—and that will change how much we cling to preferences.

Are my expectations self-serving or selfless?

The biggest change in heart we usually need when it comes to preferences and disappointment is a move from selfish to self-less. We instinctively put ourselves first: “I like,” “I prefer,” “____ would work best for me.” That is an enemy of unity, and a hindrance to your belonging and the belonging of those around you. Being part of a church means being willing to hold preferences loosely for the good of the body and lay them down completely if that is best for the unity of the body. As we’ve seen, Philippians 2:2-3 urges us to “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” If we are disappointed and frustrated in a church we need first to examine our own hearts. Are we willing to die to ourselves for the sake of the body, or would we rather die on the hill of our preferences?

You may well find yourself in a position where you can carefully, humbly articulate your expectations. They are biblical and you are, to the best of your ability, putting the needs and preferences of others first. You desire unity. Yet the church, be it your fellow members or the leadership, keeps letting you down in some manner—choosing to go in a direction that you disagree with, investing in aspects or areas of ministry you see as less important in the mission of the church, and so on. In this case it may be time to consider finding a new church home. I encourage you to revisit what I wrote on page ___ [under What if the church doesn’t have the aroma of Christ?]. Leaving a church because of perpetual disappointment and frustration is so exhausting and saddening, but in the end it is better than staying if staying means fighting and becoming embittered toward God’s people.

3. What do I do if the church hurts me?

Few situations are more painful than finding a home at a church, connecting with God’s people, putting your trust in them and in the leadership, and really belonging… only to be hurt or betrayed by those same people or leaders. This is distinct from disappointment. Disappointment wishes things were different and struggles to be satisfied, and we can be disappointed when people have done nothing wrong but simply gone in a direction we didn’t prefer. Being hurt by people in a church happens when we are the victim of wrongdoing of some kind. It is crucial that we discern the difference, especially because disappointment often feels like hurt. We live in a time when our feelings are easily confused for moral standards: if you make me feel badly then you have wronged me. This simply isn’t how the Bible defines wrongdoing, though, and it’s why it’s important that we run our feelings of hurt/disappointment through the filter questions in the previous section. Disappointment is real, hurt is real, and wrongdoing is real. If we are part of a church body and committed to unity in Christ, we need to respond well in each situation.

While we are all likely aware of explosive, divisive situations of abuse and wrongdoing in churches, hurt in the church is not generally headline-grabbing. Usually it is the result of pride, selfishness, gossip, or some other quiet sin. Usually it isn’t noticed by the whole congregation, let alone social media or journalists. And we all experience this. Since the church is a body of sinners, we will sin against one another and cause hurt, and we will be the recipient of wrongdoing and hurt by fellow Christians.

Again, a distinction must be made between being hurt in the church and being hurt by the church. To be hurt in the church simply requires one person sinning against you, and when it happens we are called to pursue reconciliation in the Lord (Matthew 18:15, 21-22). This means bringing honesty to bear by going to them to address the hurt that was caused in the hope that they will receive your words humbly, apologize, repent (change their ways to walk in a manner reflective of Jesus), and take the necessary steps to make things right. Then you forgive and can be restored in your relationship. The aim is not accusation, escalation, recompense, someone “getting their due,” or public shaming, but reconciliation between family members—that is, unity in Christ.

Being hurt by the church is a different, more grievous (and thankfully, more rare) situation. To be hurt by the church requires a systemic and cultural breakdown in the church. It means that gospel culture is not pervading from the top down, and the leaders are either guilty by passivity or participation (Acts 20:28-31). This can lead to harshness, defensiveness, mockery, animosity, or even abuses of power and cover-ups of wrongdoing. In many cases this is a low-grade issue rather than the kind of crisis or controversy that becomes public. Members are quietly hurt, there doesn’t seem to be a path to reconciliation and righting wrongs, and often they (you) quietly depart saying nothing and carrying wounds.

What can you do when you are hurt by a church to which you belong? Here are some practical principles.

Speak the truth in love, even to power

While Christ’s desire for his church is that it be a body marked by humility and serving others with leaders as the chief servants who set the pace for humility, often power dynamics are still at play. Church leaders are authority figures, called to lead the congregation. So confronting them on wrongdoing or even simply pointing out how they hurt you can be intimidating. It is difficult to look a spiritual authority figure in the face and say “When you did X it hurt me.” It can be terrifying to stand before a group of leaders and say “I believe the way you are leading this church is unbiblical.”

But our commitment to honesty before Christ compels us to do so when the need arises. And our commitment to honoring one another informs how we do it. Ephesians 4:15 tells us to speak the truth in love—the truth as defined by God’s word and love as defined by the heart of Christ. This means speaking clearly and boldly about the wrongs done, and doing so in humility, respecting those to whom you speak, and with a deep desire for their best.

The heart behind a confrontation like this yearns for repentance and reconciliation. You want to see individual and corporate restoration and faithfulness to Jesus, and this requires humility and openness on both sides. We are all sinners, so be willing to acknowledge the possibility of our own ignorance of a situation or that you may have contributed to the hurt. Sometimes, though, people stand firm in their sins, and confronting them may cost you—reputation, relationships, a church home. But standing firm in the truths of the Bible and lovingly presenting them to those who are in the wrong on behalf of is always right, and God smiles on you for it.

Don’t give up on the church because you’ve been hurt by a church.

If you have faithfully, lovingly confronted the wrongdoing of a church and its leaders and if repentance and reconciliation are not the response, then it will likely be necessary to leave that church. Leaving a church you love is always difficult. Leaving a church you loved and that seemingly turned on you is brutal. And the last place you’ll likely be inclined to turn is to another church. Entrusting yourself to another group of leaders, another congregation could easily feel like an impossible risk because of the pain and the anger at the betrayal.

Yet the church is the only place we can heal from the hurt we’ve encountered in church. It sounds counterintuitive, and that’s because it is. In a fallen world we can easily be hurt in the church, but the answer is not to abandon it, because in that fallen world we desperately need the body of Christ. We need a local body, a gathering body, not just a generalized global aggregate of Christians. Nowhere else in the world will you ever encounter the wound-healing, grace-giving, come-as-you-are, we’re-with-you, day-by-day love of Jesus. So take the risk, but feel free to take it slowly. Seek out other churches. Sniff the air for the aroma of Christ. Test the waters for honesty and honor and safety. Don’t feel the need to rush, but don’t drift away either. One church’s failure is not the failure of Christ’s gospel or his plan, nor does it reflect Christ’s heart for you. He has a place for you among his people where you can belong.

Belong explores how you can help to create a church where everybody feels at home: a place where fellow believers build genuine, honest, meaningful Christian relationships and enjoy deep fellowship as a community of believers. Whatever your experience of church has been, this book will help you to see that belonging to a church is a good gift from God, the outworking of our identity as brothers and sisters in Christ, and worth your time, love, and commitment.

You can find a FREE small group kit (study guide and video teaching) here along with bulk discounts for your group or church.

Belong explores how you can help to create a church where everybody feels at home: a place where fellow believers build genuine, honest, meaningful Christian relationships and enjoy deep fellowship as a community of believers. Whatever your experience of church has been, this book will help you to see that belonging to a church is a good gift from God, the outworking of our identity as brothers and sisters in Christ, and worth your time, love, and commitment.

You can find a FREE small group kit (study guide and video teaching) here along with bulk discounts for your group or church.

How to Read Wisdom Literature in the Bible

While the Bible is a single volume, it is composed of sixty six individual books. And those books can be categorized into different genres: law, history/narrative, poetry, wisdom literature, prophecy, gospels, epistles, and apocalyptic. Don’t let this overwhelm or confuse you! It’s actually a beautiful depiction of God’s creativity and care for his people. Each genre reveals something unique about God in both style and substance. Each genre draws readers to truth and the person of God in a distinct way, and we need them all.

We must also approach each genre differently. We can’t read poetry like history or wisdom literature like epistles. We need to read them in their intended style so we can really see what God is revealing of Himself.

Ecclesiastes, Proverbs, and Job comprise the wisdom literature genre. The aim of wisdom literature is to help us grow in biblical wisdom (obviously). What is that? In short, it is living life with godly skill, thinking with the mind of God, and prioritizing or judging with godly priorities. These books deal in the stuff and substance of everyday life, and our goal in reading and studying them is to learn how to faithfully walk with the Lord in all of life.

Here are a few pointers for reading wisdom literature well so you can get the most out of it

Remember that these are God’s words as much as any other book of the Bible, even if they seem opaque or confusing sometimes. Wisdom literature reveals the mind, the priorities, the decision-making, and the character of God. While it may not have many propositional statements about God, all wisdom literature is essentially God telling us how He thinks.Wisdom literature, especially proverbs, should be read as principles, not promises. We can find exceptions to every principle. (eg. If you work hard you will succeed OR If you live lawfully you will live peaceably.) So we must read these books as principial truths rather than truths specific to every circumstance. Principles are true in general. And they are the way things ought to be.Wisdom literature is often poetic, so it uses word pictures and vivid imagery. It is not to be read like a scientific or doctrinal work marked by linguistic precision. Rather we are to consider what it is evoking, what it is drawing out of our hearts? That is the aim of biblical wisdom, to transform the heart into alignment with God.An oft-used technique in this poetic language is parallelism: stating truths in couplets that often seem at odds or like nonsequiturs, but that actually clarify and uphold one another. For example Proverbs 26:4-5 says, “Don’t answer a fool according to his foolishness or you’ll be like him yourself. Answer a fool according to his foolishness or he’ll become wise in his own eyes.” Well, which is it? Remember that the aim is godly skill and discernment, so both are true and only wisdom can help us determine which is applicable and helpful in a given circumstance.Because of poetic language and techniques like parallelism, we must be cautious about pulling a verse out of its context to prove a point or offer as a command. (eg. Consider Proverbs 26:4 again, “Don’t answer a fool according to his foolishness or you’ll be like him yourself.” Take that out of context and we lose the counter-balance of “Answer a fool according to his foolishness or he’ll become wise in his own eyes.”) Context matters in all biblical interpretation, but it is especially significant when dealing with principles and evocative language.Sometimes wisdom literature focuses on anti-wisdom (what the Bible calls foolishness) so that we can see both the consequences of defying God and the beauty of walking with Him. Ecclesiastes and Job do this. This means we must read them with an eye toward the greater reality of God’s heart, God’s desires, God’s design, and God’s priorities. Otherwise we can mistake a lengthy passage about anti-wisdom as prescriptive for our lives or as morally good.All wisdom literature must be read in light of Genesis 1–God’s good creation according to His perfect design–and in light of Genesis 3–the reality of sin and God’s curse on the world that brought about the disordering and twisting of all things. Much of wisdom is seeing the good in the twisted and the twisted or sinful in the good. It is rarely so simple as labeling something “good” or “bad.” Rather wisdom allows us to recognize the reflection of Genesis 1 and the marks of Genesis 3 in all aspects of life.Remember that all wisdom is fulfilled and embodied in Christ. We cannot gain godly wisdom outside of life in Jesus. He is our means of wisdom through His saving work and the giving of His Holy Spirit. It is easy to think of “gaining wisdom” as something we do through discipline and rigor. And while we do strive for it, it is given by God through His Son.

This is an excerpt from Ecclesiastes: Finding Meaning in a World of passing Pursuits, a study I wrote for individuals and small groups. It is available through Amazon or Lifeway.com (the better option if you are ordering for groups).

Session topics:Vanity Under the SunWisdomWorkWealth, Fame, and PowerJusticeNumber Your DaysEnjoy the Life God Has Given YouFear God and Keep His CommandsFeatures8 small group sessions8 teaching videos and session previews featuring author Barnabas Piper—access included with purchase of Bible Study BookBonus videos on challenging verses in EcclesiastesPersonal study opportunities for ongoing spiritual growthReading plan for the book of Ecclesiastes

Wisdom from One of My Favorite Authors

Dan Taylor, a literature professor at Bethel University in MN has written several books including a few that have been particularly shaping and helpful to me: Tell Me A Story: The Life Shaping Power of Our Stories, Letters to My Children: A Father Passes On His Values, and The Myth of Certainty: The Reflective Christian & The Risk of Commitment, and The Skeptical Believer: Telling Stories to Your Inner Atheist. Few authors have done as much as Taylor to enhance and enrich my love for the written word and its significance. Reading his books took the lid off literature so I could see more than just the pretty stories and get past “fun” and “boring” as descriptors. He taught me to see the truth in fiction. Taylor’s books are so good that I wanted to share a few of my favorite quotes with you.

On Stories:

“Stories turn mere chronology, one thing after another, into the purposeful action of plot, and thereby into meaning.” (TMAS, p. 2)

“. . .we are, when under the spell of stories, willing to believe that good is more powerful than evil, that death is preferable to dishonour, that perseverance pays, that truth is more than a word and justice more than a definition of the powerful, that love exists – if only in the cracks. And if we believe all this, and much more, while the story is being told, we do not abandon that belief entirely when we return to our own personal stories.” (TMAS, p. 16-17)

“A good story is one that makes you good, or at least better.” (TMAS, p.55)

On Truth:

“True does not mean factual (though it may be factual); true means accurately reflecting human experience.” (TMAS, p. 116)

On The Power of Words:

“Words have an almost unlimited power to destroy and to heal. Nothing is more false than the implication of the phrase ‘words, words, words – nothing but words’.” (TMAS p. 119)

“A primary interment of oppression is silence.” (TMAS, p.119)

“Through words flows the energy of the universe to create and destroy. Words have done more to shape the human experience than all the swords, guns, bombs, and missiles ever made. Words are infinitely more important than money in our lives.” (LTMC, p.104)

On Death:

“We die because we have lived. We live in order to know and love the God who made us. In dying we become more real than we ever can be while part of this sorrowful world.” (LTMC p.28)

On Right and Wrong:

“People talk about breaking a law. In one sense you never really break a law – the law stays the same no matter what you do. What you can do is break yourself by ignoring the fact of the law. If you step off a cliff, the law of gravity is not broken, but you may be.” (LTMC, p. 48)

These are just a tiny sampling of the insights Dan Taylor offers. His books are a wealth of “pause and reflect” moments. Buy them. Savor them. They are full of wisdom that is not easy to find.

10 Reflections Upon Turning 40

Today I turn 40. I’m not one to make much of birthdays, but I’ve been made to believe by friends and family that this round number is of particular significance (despite the fact that reaching it is not a statistically impressive achievement). At the very least, milestone birthdays are timely opportunities to pause and reflect. Here are 10 reflections upon turning 40.

1. In all likelihood, my life is half over. I suppose this could be ominous or anxiety-inducing. But it mostly makes me thankful for the life God has given me up until now and even greater anticipation for the life still in front of me. I feel the kindness of God much more than the pressure or fear of aging. I guess you could say I am more of a life half full kind of person than a life half empty type.

2. I have eulogized athleticism. I am saying a long goodbye to my metabolism. But I never could have anticipated being where I am in my faith, my marriage, parenting, or ministry. Life is better than it ever has been in all the areas that matter most. At various points over the decades I could not have even anticipated having faith, being married, or serving in pastoral ministry. So I am profoundly grateful.

3. The old trope is that 40 is “over the hill.” Ok, I’ll accept that so long as it means that I am only gaining momentum. So many people I admire and respect have been or are being more fruitful and more joyful in the second half of their lives. I desire to be one of them. The future is brighter than I ever thought possible. 

4. Gray hair is nothing to hide. I fully embrace growing into my “crown of glory.” (I may need to revisit my thoughts on aging and hair if/when I begin to lose mine.)

5. More than ever in my life I am aware of how little I know, how little my reach is, and how little power I actually have. Which means I find it much easier to focus on the things I must do instead of those things I once dreamed about doing–those things God has given me to do. 

6. I’ve learned that there are two ways to learn wisdom: by listening to the wise or through pain. As you might imagine, I learned this the hard way. But I anticipate the back half of life being significantly better because of it.

7. Somehow, with age has come a depth of feeling I never anticipated. I cry more than any point in life since  infancy—not out of sadness but out of substance. So many things mean much more to me than they ever have. 

8. It’s weird being at an age where people I respect look up to me. I am older than my senior pastor. I am older than half the elders at our church. I am well over the median age in our church. I don’t feel old enough to be respected or respectable, and maybe I never will. But here I am, nearer to “father figure” than up and comer.

9. I’ve been an aspiring curmudgeon for a long time with the dream of being a grumpy old man. But I’ve come to realize there’s a big difference between a grumpy old guy and an angry old guy. I want to be the former (and probably won’t be able to help it) but I definitely don’t want to become the latter. So I think a lot these days about what trajectory will aim me toward being an old man with a foundation of faith and sense of humor underneath a crusty exterior.

10. Among my most common prayers for myself these days is the prayer “fill me.” Fill me with joy, with energy, with compassion, with wisdom, with devotion to Jesus, with affection for Jesus. I think this is because I have learned much about my own limitations and general emptiness apart from God’s grace. 

30 Important Quotes from “Belong”

My book, Belong: Loving Your Church by Reflecting Christ to One Another ,recently released. I wrote it in the hopes that it might invite those wondering if being part of a church is worth to experience God’s wonderful purpose for them in a local church and that it would would encourage those already in church to invest more deeply. Here are thirty of the most significant quotes from it–quotes that, I hope, will give you a sense of the message and heart of the book.

That’s who this book is for—the person figuring out what it means to belong to a church and whether it is worth it.

I’m inviting you to see the church, in its local expressions, as God sees it. It’s an invitation to see his plan and his heart’s desire for it, and to step into your place in that plan.

God’s plan for his church is strategic, sure, but part of his perfect strategy is offering hurting, tired, worn-out, needy sinners like you and me a place to belong, a place to identify, a place to encounter the profound, transformative, healing, restoring grace of Jesus Christ.

Belonging, then, is not defined by where we feel most comfortable, most at ease, or by where we have the most in common with others. Belonging is defined by where God intends us to be, and therefore where he intends us to find true life and deepest satisfaction and joy.

In fact, this is the truest reality of belonging: we belong to Christ as part of his church.

When we are adopted through the work of Jesus Christ into the family of God, we receive unconditional, immovable, eternal love as God’s children. We could not be more loved. This is what adoption is supposed to look like.

Even if following Jesus separated you from your family of origin (and following Jesus can be that costly) or if you do not have family with whom you are close, for whatever reason, in t

he church you gain a family exponentially, what Jesus called “a hundredfold.” You become part of a family marked by the sacrifice and humility and love of Jesus Christ.

In a physical body if there is disunity, animosity, or infighting we call that illness, like a cancer or an autoimmune disease. If a church is marked by disunity, animosity, or infighting it is just as ill and cancerous.

Unlike the amputation of a hand or a toe or an ear, which is forcibly done by someone else, we often voluntarily amputate ourselves from the church.

God’s plan is not coldly strategic or mechanical. It is relational, loving, full of heart and life, and designed for closeness.

A checklist doesn’t belonging create. A church could have great preaching, powerful music, top notch children’s ministry, and an airtight discipleship program and it still not be a true family or a healthy body. For the weary and wary, pristine ministry programming isn’t the answer. Culture is.

In the same way “friend of sinners” described Jesus, it describes a church truly shaped by his gospel.

True honesty, moving from the darkness of withdrawal and withholding into the light of Christ, moves us into true belonging. We encounter the healing of Jesus Christ as he cleanses us from the filth and infection of sin and we encounter joyful unity with other Christians who have also entered the light.

There is no room for ego or hierarchy or smugness in the family of God.

We tend to excel at noticing and recalling all the ways we bear with others, while completely missing the ways they have borne with us.

A simple way to define Christian fellowship is a gathering of believers where the Bible’s ‘one-another’ commands are lived out with joy.

Being defined by what we are opposed to means that we are not setting a course but rather having our course dictated to us.

We don’t belong at churches that disguise disunity behind friendliness or that unify around causes and issues that aren’t Jesus. We don’t belong at churches that are openly contentious. And we don’t belong at churches that make the gospel of Jesus Christ second to anything.

Jesus said “Blessed are the peacemakers,” because peace doesn’t just happen, it must be made, fought for, defended, and clung to like our lives depend on it.

The ‘one another’ commands in Scripture . . . are two-way streets. You cannot truly belong to a body if you expect to receive these but are unwilling to give them, or keep score and then scale back when you feel you’re giving more than you’re getting.

It is problematic when we make our preferences the righteous standard for a church.

Unity cannot happen if we all die on the hills of our preferences.

The Bible may not change our preferences but it will change our hearts—and that will change how much we cling to preferences.

While we are all likely aware of explosive, divisive situations of abuse and wrongdoing in churches, hurt in the church is not generally headline-grabbing. Usually it is the result of pride, selfishness, gossip, or some other quiet sin.

The church is the only place we can heal from the hurt we’ve encountered in church.

One church’s failure is not the failure of Christ’s gospel or his plan, nor does it reflect Christ’s heart for you. He has a place for you among his people where you can belong.

The friendship of Jesus is not merely something we accept and benefit from. It is transformative, turning us into Christ-reflecting friends for one another.

[Jesus] didn’t die for those who were close to him. He died so that we could be close to him. He laid down his life to make us friends, not because we deserved it as friends.

The purpose of the Church is to proclaim and exhibit the reality of Jesus Christ to the world. It is where and how people encounter the real Jesus.

This, then, is how to belong: follow in Jesus’s  footsteps, with the help of His Holy Spirit, by laying down your life for the benefit of your church and giving yourself joyfully and wholeheartedly to loving Jesus and His people.

Belong explores how you can help to create a church where everybody feels at home: a place where fellow believers build genuine, honest, meaningful Christian relationships and enjoy deep fellowship as a community of believers. Whatever your experience of church has been, this book will help you to see that belonging to a church is a good gift from God, the outworking of our identity as brothers and sisters in Christ, and worth your time, love, and commitment.

You can find a FREE small group kit (study guide and video teaching) here along with bulk discounts for your group or church.

Created for Belonging: Ray Ortlund’s Foreword to “Belong”

This is the foreword, written by Ray Ortlund, to my new book,  Belong: Loving Your Church by Reflecting Christ to One Another.

You belong to Christ (Mark 9:41)

God created us to belong, both to him and to one another. But our pride drove us far away, both from him and from one another. Now Jesus is bringing us back, both to him and to one another.

Belonging is an adjustment for every one of us. Maybe there was a time when we felt so superior that belonging was beneath us. Or maybe we felt safer in our own guarded aloofness. Or maybe we feared that belonging might pull us into commitments we couldn’t live up to. But if you have picked up this book, you are at least open to go back to belonging. This book will help you see your options more clearly and make your decisions more confidently.

Here’s why your future will get better by bravely jumping in. Jesus is not out to save isolated individuals scattered here and there. He is creating and gathering a new community where everyone deeply belongs, both to him and to one another. And when we finally belong, really belong, to a group of people we respect and enjoy, it feels so good. We’ve come home.

I admit, it isn’t easy to get there. It can be even harder to stay there. If the belonging we all desire was simple and formulaic, the experience would be common. In fact, for me, it can be difficult to stop and think about belonging. The topic stirs painful memories. I know what it’s like to discover that I did not belong. I thought I did. But I was wrong. And it hurt. Maybe you too? Churches can make belonging hard and even risky. Which is to say, churches can make it hard to experience Jesus. And that is not okay.

Barnabas Piper has written this wonderful book, because he understands from personal experience both how hard and how glorious belonging can be. He is qualified to help the rest of us think it through. I believe you will find in Barnabas a trustworthy guide, because his experience is deep and his conclusions are honest. Most importantly, Barnabas is a faithful follower of Jesus. The Lord gently led him from the outer margins all the way to the deepest heart of Immanuel Church in Nashville. I watched Barnabas walk that journey. Sometimes it was painful. Other times it was joyful. Always it was Jesus leading Barnabas closer to his heart. From his early cautious explorations all the way to his eventual glad commitments, Barnabas kept on saying “Yes” to Jesus. And now he is helping us make Immanuel a safe place for still others to belong. His story looks to me like the newness of life that Jesus died and rose again to create.

Barnabas wisely counsels us, “The church is the only place we can heal from the hurt we’ve encountered in church.” If he’s right – and he is – then this book might open a door for you to heal in surprising ways.

So, I commend to you this book by my friend Barnabas. He is a man who can truly say, “Follow me, as I follow Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1).

Ray Ortlund
Pastor to Pastors
Immanuel Church

My book, Belong: Loving Your Church by Reflecting Life to One Another, is now available from The Good Book Company. It is part of the Love Your Church Series along with volumes from Tony Merida and Jen Oshman. Free discussion guides and video teaching is available with each book as well to help your church or small group.

What Does it Mean to Belong to a Church?

This is the preface from my new book,  Belong: Loving Your Church by Reflecting Christ to One Another.

In the summer of 2017 I walked through the doors of Immanuel Church in Nashville for the first time. I was a few months removed from a painful divorce and a few months into searching for a new church home. Both experiences had left me exhausted spiritually and emotionally discouraged, uncertain of my future, and uncomfortable in church.

I grew up in the church—quite literally, as I’m a pastor’s kid. I had been part of churches for my entire life, sometimes feeling joyfully at home, sometimes feeling like I was in the middle of a family feud on steroids, and other times feeling like the outsider. I was intimately familiar with the best and worst the church had to offer, and I knew I needed to be part of one.

But I wasn’t at all sure I wanted to be.

I sat in the furthest back corner of the service that day and did my best to meet nobody (my usual strategy when visiting churches, even now). When the service began, a pastor stood up and welcomed the congregation warmly. Probably phony, I thought. Then he proceeded to say these words:

To all who are weary and need rest;
To all who mourn and long for comfort;
To all who fail and need strength;
To all who sin and need a savior;
This church opens wide her doors and her heart with a welcome from Jesus Christ.

Beautiful words, comforting words, welcoming words, words I desperately wanted to believe… but words I instinctively rejected. I didn’t think the pastor was lying, per se. I just thought it was aspirational nonsense. In my experience churches usually declare what they want to be, not what they are. They advertise their mission and vision, but are less clear on their present state. If only a church actually welcomed people like that, I might find a home, I thought. I had enough self-awareness to know that I was particularly cynical about churches, so rather than walk away with an eye roll and a snarky tweet, I decided to let the church prove itself to me either as a place of welcome or as a place of hypocrisy.

What I found in the two years following that first cynical Sunday was a place of belonging. It was a place of safety for the weary and broken. Honesty was upheld as a value, speaking the truth about our lives and our spiritual state and our needs. People were treated with the God-given dignity they deserved, even as they were honest about ugliness in their lives. And it all worked because it was done in humility before God and in dependence on Jesus.

The pastors and leaders exemplified this, but it was the members who embodied honesty, safety, honor, and humility week in and week out to me, so that God could work in my life. It was in conversations over drinks, in living rooms on Sunday afternoons, and in weeknight Bible study and prayer with other men that my heart was thawed and my eyes were opened to what church could be. I had found a church home, a place of belonging to the family of God. Out of this belonging God healed and restored me, gave me strength, tempered my cynicism, and eventually called me to full-time pastoral ministry.

So it is, that in what to me is the unlikeliest turn of events, I have the privilege of serving as a pastor at Immanuel now. When I stand in front of the congregation on Sunday mornings and welcome people, I think of where I was in 2017. Each time I open my mouth to say those words, “To all who are weary and need rest…” I pray that the people in that room will find belonging in that welcome from Jesus.

That’s who this book is for—the person figuring out what it means to belong to a church and whether it is worth it. You may love the church and desire to commit more deeply and serve better. You may be skeptical and reluctant because of past experiences, but you believe God wants you in His church. You may be wounded and cautious, fearful even, because of damage inflicted on you through the church. You may be a brand-new believer, unsure what to think about church. Or you may be uprooted, having relocated from a place of familiarity to be dropped in a new town and new church where you hope to find a home.

My hope is that this book shows what it looks like to belong in church, really and truly, and what it looks like to help others to do the same.

My book, Belong: Loving Your Church by Reflecting Life to One Another, is now available from The Good Book Company. It is part of the Love Your Church Series along with volumes from Tony Merida and Jen Oshman. Free discussion guides and video teaching is available with each book as well to help your church or small group.

Free Chapters of The Happy Rant Audiobook

In this episode of The Happy Rant podcast we do something a little different. Instead of our normal wandering to and fro through a variety of topics we give you three free chapters of The Happy Rant audiobook. Listen in.

Chapter 1: Evangelical Fame (We do weird stuff with Christian celebrity.)
Chapter 8: Evangelical Money Guilt (Why are Christians so weird about money?)
Chapter 14: Manly Men (What is manhood? What makes a good man?)

For more ranting, conversation, and cultural analysis check out our book, The Happy Rant: Wandering To and Fro Through Some Things That Don’t Matter All That Much (and a Few That Really Do) at https://thehappyrant.com/book/

Visit our show store where you can find shirts, notebooks, bags, and more. Our merchandise makes great gifts and is an ideal way to look cooler than all your friends too at https://thehappyrant.com/shop/

Be sure to check out our show store where you can find shirts, notebooks, bags, and more. Our merchandise makes great gifts and is an ideal way to look cooler than all your friends too.

Check out our sponsor:

Visual Theology, and use the code “happyrant” at checkout for a 20% discount!