Carrigan Richards's Blog, page 3
April 23, 2018
An Open Letter to Anyone
Hello!
It’s been a while since I’ve written in my blog, but I have my reasons. For the good part of two years, I didn’t write. Not writing for me is like I can’t fully breathe, or function properly. I could recount the absolute terror I experienced and speak bitterly of it, but I won’t. Instead, I am grateful. You see, without it, I would not be who I am now. I am not perfect, but I’m stronger. I am wiser. I know exactly what I want and what I will not tolerate. I found myself again.
There was a point where I didn’t care about anything. It wouldn’t matter if I wasn’t here. It was like an ocean swallowed me whole, but I found my strength and I swam to the top, through the rough waves, and reached the shore. It wasn’t easy and there were times I just knew I would drown. But I survived.
It does get better. You just have to hold on with everything you have and not give up. It won’t be easy, but nothing in this world that’s worth having is easy. You have to fight like hell and refuse to let defeat take over.
We are all strong in our own ways. We just have to find it.
We don’t always appreciate the bad in our lives, but we should. It makes us who we are, and loving ourselves is the first goal of a good relationship. Be brave. be bold. Be yourself and don’t let anyone make you feel less of a person. This can sometimes be hard, especially when you hear negative comments toward you daily. but you have to push through it.
Always remember, YOU ARE WORTHY. YOU MATTER.
I know how difficult it can be to reach out to others. You fear being a bother or like no one has time for you. But I promise, reach out. It is worth it. I didn’t get through this alone, because I remembered that I wasn’t alone.
Take care of yourself. You deserve it.
-Carrigan
June 30, 2017
Give Me Strength
Hello!
It’s been a very tough road for me lately, and I’m trying my best to get through it. I love writing – it’s my passion, it’s what gets me through hard times – however, lately, I’ve not been able to write like I used to. Some of the stories I was working on are too difficult for me right now, almost too close to home. I’ve written bits and pieces of a fantasy novel, which is turning out to be fairly neat. I want to write something that means something to someone. Something that matters. What makes it so difficult is seeing bad reviews during this time. I know I’m going to get them and I know not everyone will like what I write. Still, it’s hard to stomach some days.
I have a long weekend ahead of me, so I plan to use this time to relax, get some things done, and try not to stress. I hope to write. I miss it. But I know not to force it and all I’ve wanted to do for so long was write, but it’s just not coming to me like it used to. Usually, writing about what is going on has always helped, but right now, it’s too painful to write. Too fresh of a wound, although they say that’s the best time to get it out.
Do you ever have issues like this? What do you do to relieve stress?
Happy writing,
Carrigan
Give Me Strength
Hello!
It’s been a very tough road for me lately, and I’m trying my best to get through it. I love writing – it’s my passion, it’s what gets me through hard times – however, lately, I’ve not been able to write like I used to. Some of the stories I was working on are too difficult for me right now, almost too close to home. I’ve written bits and pieces of a fantasy novel, which is turning out to be fairly neat. I want to write something that means something to someone. Something that matters. What makes it so difficult is seeing bad reviews during this time. I know I’m going to get them and I know not everyone will like what I write. Still, it’s hard to stomach some days.
I have a long weekend ahead of me, so I plan to use this time to relax, get some things done, and try not to stress. I hope to write. I miss it. But I know not to force it and all I’ve wanted to do for so long was write, but it’s just not coming to me like it used to. Usually, writing about what is going on has always helped, but right now, it’s too painful to write. Too fresh of a wound, although they say that’s the best time to get it out.
Do you ever have issues like this? What do you do to relieve stress?
Happy writing,
Carrigan
May 25, 2017
Girl Disappearing
Hello!
It’s been a long time since I’ve posted anything on here, but I wanted to let you know I’m doing okay. The last several months haven’t been easy, but they’re getting better.
I published my short story this month, Girl Disappearing. I wrote this after reading several stories about rape, bullying, and slut-shaming. It’s a terrible thing, but I am proud of this story as I feel it is important. I watched the powerful documentary, Audrie & Daisy, and was brought to tears from the events. If you haven’t seen it, definitely check it out. Also, I recently watched 13 Reasons Why, and I know there is a lot of controversy surrounding it, but I believe it too is important to read and/or watch. People need to learn more about mental illnesses and learn to know how to help those who are struggling.
My advice to anyone who is in need of help, please know you are NOT alone. It’s taken me a bit to realize this as I have gone through my own struggles. It was a very dark time for me in which no one knew about because I was embarrassed. I thought at the time, it was my fault that I had gotten myself into the situation and it was up to me to get out. I stopped doing a lot of things that I loved to do, including writing. I wasn’t myself and I became someone I didn’t recognize. But I got to a point when I didn’t want to be like that any longer. I deserved better. And deep down inside, I knew it all along. But we tend to fool ourselves into thinking certain things or are influenced by others so heavily that we lose ourselves. I swore I would never let that happen to me, but it did. I’m most disappointed in myself for not listening to my intuition, but I listen now.
When I finally reached out to family and friends, I was overwhelmed by the abundance of people who have helped me through this. They have helped me find myself again and see the light from the darkness. I know it will get better and I know I will be that happy, strong, fierce woman again soon. Thank you to my readers for being so patient with me. I promise, I have not forgotten you, and I am still working on some things for you.
In the meantime, check out Girl Disappearing.
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Thank you!!
Happy writing!
Carrigan
November 28, 2016
November Book Fair
Hello all! Check out this great book fair including so many talented authors!
There are so many books to choose from (MOST are priced $0.99-$2.99 for at least part of the duration of the fair.) The following genres are available this month:
Urban Fantasy
Paranormal Romance
Science Fiction Romance, Dystopian, Steampunk & Fantasy
Young Adult
Contemporary Romance, Suspense & Thriller
Hopefully, you’ll find some books here to enjoy this coming month! Happy reading trails!
November 4, 2016
Everybody Vs. You, A Nobody
Everybody Vs. Me, A Nobody by Leah J. Hans
T/w: suicide, self-harm, cutting, bullying
People say that bullying is something that everyone goes through at least once in their lives. Those same people dismiss it for the same reason. If everyone goes through it, then what makes YOU special? What makes YOU different? Why should YOU get special treatment for what you went through? YOU have to grin and bear it. Because EVERYONE went through it.
It’s those same people who act so upset when they find out that you committed suicide. Notice that I said “act”. Because they’ll do the same thing for the next person. Just because everyone experiences bullying does not make it okay. Not by any means. People can flaunt their “zero-tolerance” policies all they want, but if “everyone” is still being bullied, doesn’t that just show you how little those “policies” are doing?
Imagine being in so much pain that the only way out of now is to be out forever. Imagine having people announce your biggest insecurities about yourself, amplifying them to astronomical proportions. And that must be how people see those insecurities. They must be pretty damn big, if everyone agrees that you should be insecure about them. And they just keep getting bigger, don’t they? And you keep getting more of them, don’t you? Until one day, you’re just a walking pile of insecurities. Barely walking. You would crawl if you could. Or maybe you would rather just stay in bed. Yeah. When you’re in bed, the only person who can hurt you is yourself.
And that’s what you start to do. It started out emotional, because that’s how this all began, isn’t it? But maybe then it becomes physical. Slice your arm to the bone. Those thin red lines look better on skin than any marker does on paper. So you become the paper. And you mark your skin. Because now you have some control over something. It may be control over pain, but it’s better than just them hurting you. And they will never see you cry. They will never see you bleed. They will never understand. Until the news breaks that you died.
They say that everyone experiences bullying. How many more people who make up the “everyone” have to die before we start to realize that it’s not okay?
November 3, 2016
***Sale Alert***
Pieces of Me is FREE today only! Grab your copy here!
One second.
Seventeen-year-old Corinne has everything. Her life. Family. Friends. Boyfriend. But in that one second, she loses it all. Now she’s left with harrowing nightmares. Hallucinations. And panic attacks that seem to come out of nowhere. She tries everything to take the pain away, but there’s only one option she sees as a true way out.
When Corinne is sent to live in a psychiatric institution, she doesn’t want to talk. It’s pointless. They can’t help her. But slowly Corinne opens up and wants to remember what it’s like to be happy so she begins reliving her past life to her doctor. She knows she can’t live in the past, but she sees no future and is faced with the hardest decision of her life.
November 2, 2016
Bullied To Bully
My first day of kindergarten, I cried, and begged my mom to stay with me or take me with her, but she assured me I’d be okay and left. I met a girl who was sweet and funny. We became friends, but she moved shortly after that. I didn’t have friends. People thought I was weird, too small, too ugly, whatever. I wasn’t rich. I was very shy, so I didn’t talk much. Girls laughed at me, called me names, excluded me. For some people, it’s easy for them to ignore the bullying, but for others, it isn’t so easy. Some of us take to heart what you say to us. It affects us in ways you can never imagine. WORDS do hurt.
I remember one time, I pushed a boy because a couple of girls dared me to. He was bullied a lot, and in that one moment, I made a mistake. I pushed him. It didn’t make me cool. It didn’t impress anyone. It only made the boy cry, run to the teachers, and I got in trouble. It also made me cry because of what I did. But I realized that that wasn’t who I wanted to be and that I was better than that. I apologized to the boy, and I never found out what became of him because I moved shortly after that.
New school, same problems. I wasn’t rich enough. I didn’t wear the right clothes. I didn’t say or do the right things. All I wanted to do was fit in, but you wouldn’t let me. You excluded me from group projects because you didn’t think my parents could afford the ‘right’ materials.
Freshman year of high school, I started another new school. I hated it. Again, I found myself with no friends, not fitting in, and I was left alone and lonely. I slowly made friends and somehow decided I didn’t care what people thought about me. I’m not sure where my strength came from, but I found it.
Sometimes I still see myself as that small little girl who couldn’t stand up for herself. The bullying led to low self-esteem and other issues. I’m much better today, but I still tend to fall back in the same mindset that I’m not worth a lot or good enough.
Just remember, your words and actions matter to people. Be a friend. Don’t bully.
October 21, 2016
Bullying Can Last a Lifetime
I received an anonymous letter regarding a story of someone who experienced bullying. When bullied, it affects people, which to some can last a lifetime. It has long term affects on people. Here is the letter I received:
When you brought up bullying, my childhood immediately came to mind. My parents and I moved, in the summer of 1982. I was about to start 7th grade. Coming from an all Catholic grammar school, then going to a brand new Catholic school, was rough.
Everyone knew each other since Kindergarten, and I remember walking to school, in tears, missing my old friends. That first day of 7th grade, I met my very best friend, that I still have, 34 years later! I was/am, 5 ft tall, and she is/was, over 6 ft tall ! We made quite the pair!
When we started an all girls Catholic High School, the uniform was brown, it was a skirt, a shirt, a vest, and a tie!
Freshman year was my heaviest ever. My bf was also her heaviest. We dreaded the special days, where we could wear jeans, and regular clothes. We were constantly bullied about our weight, and our clothes. They weren’t name brand, we weren’t rich. By Senior year, my BF had moved to MN for her senior year, her Dad had to move for work. I became friends with the stoners, the popular girls, each stereotype.
From 3 years of being picked on, I lost weight, and decided not to take crap from anyone. I became the loud, funny girl, but the stigma of being fat stuck with me. I got into a lot of fights, and when my BF was able to move back, after a year, I was in with the party crowd. I look back, and it’s a very painful visit. That made me the insecure person I am today. Everyone tells me I’m so funny, I should be a comic. No, it’s my pain mechanism. I make fun of myself, before others can. It reminds me of the character from Pitch Perfect. Fat Amy. “Why do you call yourself fat Amy?
So you skinny bitches can’t say I’m fat!”
Yes, I can make anyone laugh, the harder the laughter, the more I hurt inside! I’m 46, but inside, I’m still the fat girl.
My heart breaks for this young lady. I just want to reach out and give her a hug.
Your words can affect people. Let’s be kinder to each other. Is there really a reason to be mean to others? Reach out to them. Stand up to bullying. You could save a life.
Carrigan
October 17, 2016
Author Interview: Linda Bloodworth
Carrigan: What is it about writing that you love?
Linda: I love the way it makes me feel free. Writing allows me to create a whole new world where the rules don’t apply and anything I want to go is allowed. It’s an incredible place to explore.
Carrigan: Why do you write for young adults?
Linda: I never really set out to write for young adults, but my characters are the age for YA, so this is the category that I have been allotted. I picked the age of my characters because that’s when things started changing for me. When I hit 18 I felt like I was in this in between stage where I had one foot in the door of childhood and adulthood. It seemed things were happening fast and somewhat scary. I’m sure other people can relate and understand that sentiment.
Carrigan: Oh yes. I can relate to that very well. How many books have you published?
Linda: Currently, I have one book published called A Raven’s Touch.
Carrigan: What do you like to read?
Linda: A mix of things. I tend to lean on paranormal, horror, and fantasy. If there’s a story with all those things mixed together I’m sold!
Carrigan: What inspired you to become a writer?
Linda: I can’t say I was ever inspired to be a writer, it was something I always knew was in me. My entire childhood revolved around making up stories and then writing them down. My mother told me that I used to tell her my dreams and that I could remember them at length.
Carrigan: What is your favorite young adult book and why?
Linda: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. I absolutely adore Aslan. What a nobel character who is willing to sacrifice himself for the greater good of the group. There’s something beautiful in his sacrifice and I appreciate it on a spiritual level. After I read that part of the story I cried for days.
Carrigan: Such a great book. How did you come up with your ideas?
Linda: They come to me in my dreams, in a song, a word that someone said at the right time, any place and every place. I never know when the first sentence to my next story will come.
Carrigan: Are you self-published? If so, how did you decide to become self-published?
Linda: I am indeed self-published. I decided to do so because I have heard stories about authors who are with publishing houses and they still have to do marketing to create awareness. As a result I figured, why not do it it myself?
Carrigan: Do you have any pets?
Linda: I do! I have two cats and one dog. They’re the light of my life, please don’t tell my husband.
