Laurie Jackson's Blog, page 9

Precious Treasure

I haven’t blogged the last few days because our beautiful granddaughter has arrived. I’d say finally! but she was actually a few days early. She was born on the 19th but wasn’t due until the 23rd.

Let me start from the beginning. My daughter started having labor pains Thursday afternoon/evening. We convinced them to go to the hospital to get checked. Nurse Crachet sent them home, though. She did not bother contacting the doctor and telling her what was going on. That ticked me off. It was about 2:30 am when Adele and Blake arrived back home. I tried to sleep but it was more like dozing.

The next morning, I get a text message from Blake telling me that they were headed back to the hospital. Adele was having contractions all night and had not slept at all. A few hours later, we get a message telling us that Adele was getting her epidural and for us to come to the hospital.

To make a long story short, Alex and I were at the hospital all afternoon. Adele laid in her bed playing on her phone. Alex and I watched the contractions on the monitor. She did not feel any of them. Her only complaint was that her legs were numb.

I am so proud of Adele. Her active (pushing) labor lasted from 30 minutes to 45 minutes. The doctor, nurse, Blake and I had her laughing in-between contractions. It was great. Before we knew it, Ava Rose came into the world.

She weighed 7 lbs. 1 oz. , 19 1/2″ long. Time of birth was 7:19pm. Friday was the 19th. We all think that 7 and 19 will be her luck numbers. She has ten perfect little toes and ten perfect little fingers, although they are long. She also has strawberry blonde hair.

Watching my daughter give birth was such an amazing experience. I was thrilled that she wanted me by her side. I teased her Friday that Alex and I were going to go home. She looked at me sharply like please don’t. She kept telling me that she needed me. If anyone asks you to be in the delivery room with them, say yes. Don’t pass up the experience.

I felt my eyes dampen the first time I saw Ava. I felt and still feel very blessed. I am a happy grandma.

Have a wonderful day!

Laurie Jackson

 

Grandma’s Recipes

Yesterday I went through Grandma Helen’s recipes. I organized them in groups of same kinds of food. I’m thinking about putting a cookbook together. Probably just for myself. I’m not sure yet.

A few days ago I went digging through my grandma’s recipes. There were a lot of them. Shew! I think Grandma saved every single recipe she ever came across. There was a newspaper called, “Capper’s Weekly”. That paper always had recipes in there. I remember reading the jokes that were published in Capper’s.

Anyway, I sat at my kitchen table with recipes scattered all over it. As I started organizing them, memories came flooding back. It was as if each recipe held a memory for me.

Grandma had a ton of pickle recipes. I remember picking cucumbers from the massive garden she had. Grandma was one of those women who had to show you how to do it. By the time she was done showing you, the project was finished!

I came across many, many recipes for desserts, cakes, and cookies. She used to teasingly say that a way to a man’s heart was through his stomach. I believe that because Grandpa loved his sweets.

Some of the recipes were for chicken and roast beef. Grandma’s roast beef was so tender that the meat melted when it hit your tongue. How miss her roast beef, beef gravy, riced potatoes and homemade rolls with homemade butter.

There were so many pie recipes. Recipes for pie crusts and fillings. When she had invited company to her home, the one thing she made a LOT of were pies. She had practically every kind of pie a person could think of. (I, myself, do not like pie. I’d rather have her cookies or cake.)

Bread recipes were aplenty, as well. Grandma could bake six loaves of homemade bread almost every morning. She used to make her own butter, as well. The cream from the milk made the best butter. During hay season, Grandma brought us lunch out in the field. Homemade bread and butter with chopped smoked ham. That was the best ever!

Grandma loved to bake as well as cook. Grandpa was proof of that. :)

Grandma Helen was an amazing woman. Love and miss her dearly.

Enjoy your day!

Laurie Jackson

Not Feeling It

I’ve been in a funk the last couple of days. I do not know if it’s because it is still winter or what. I could be struggling with cabin fever. Or I could be getting tired of playing the waiting game. What do I mean?

The waiting game…waiting for our beautiful granddaughter to arrive. Her due date is not until next week. If you could not tell, I do not have any patience whatsoever! I’ll be the first to admit that. I know it’s best for the baby to stay in the womb as long as possible. I’m getting antsy, though, because our daughter has been showing signs of going into labor. I’m antsy to meet lil Miss Ava Rose.

I want to hold her and love her and kiss her on her sweet lil nose. I want to dance with her and sing to her. I want, I want, I want! Boy, am I selfish or what?!

I’m sure I am suffering from cabin fever. I haven’t been out of the house in over a week. I just do not feel like it. It seems like I only go out if I have to go to the doctor. Geesh! I have social anxiety. So, I am pretty much a home body. Just the thought of leaving the house sends me into a frenzy. My chest feels like it is closing up and I cannot breathe well at all. It stinks! Years ago, I could jump in my truck and drive almost anywhere I wanted. Now, just the thought of going to the doctor doesn’t feel right. I hate having social anxiety. I never was a social butterfly but I did enjoy going to a movie every now and again. The last time I ate out, I felt as if everyone was watching me. I’m not sure if I thought they were going to hurt me or what. I was happy to eat and run out of there.

It doesn’t help that I suffer from SAD.  My wonderful husband bought daylight bulbs. I have one in the lamp where I sew. The others are in my office where I write. I love them. The bulbs are bright which help me tremendously. Winter just stinks all the way around. Well, part of that is true. I don’t mind the snow because it is so pretty. I do not care for the cloudy, sunless days. Those days are the hardest for me. On those days, I TRY to write or sew; something to distract me.

Okay, okay, okay! Enough with the negative writing! Is that the sun I see peeking out around the clouds? :) Yay!

Hope your day is filled with many blessings!

Laurie Jackson

The Cross In My Pocket

I just want to say that I did not write this. I cannot take credit.

I carry a cross in my pocket

A simple reminder to me

Of the fact that I am a Christian

No matter where I may be

This little cross is not magic

Nor is it a good luck charm

It’s not for identification

For all the world to see

It’s simply an understanding

Between my Savior and me

When I put my hand in my pocket

To bring out a coin or key

The Cross is there to remind me

Of the price He paid for me

It reminds me, too, to be thankful

For my blessings day to day

And to strive to serve Him better

In all that I do and say

It’s also a daily reminder

Of the peace and comfort I share

With all who know my Master

And give themselves to his care

So, I carry a cross in my pocket

Reminding no one but me

That Jesus Christ is Lord of my life

If only I’ll let Him be.

~~Verna Thomas

When I have to leave the house, I carry a stone in my pocket. When I feel an attack of anxiety coming on, I hold the stone in my hand. I can feel the stress leaving. That stone (which has an angel inside) has helped me more times than I can say.

Have a super, wonderful day!

Laurie Jackson

What Can I Say?

What would I say to an ex? Depends on the ex, first of all.

If it was to the first ex that I was married to for 23 years, I would say so much. It’s been nearly eight years since my divorce. He wants nothing to do with me, which is fine. Well, actually, it’s not fine. I wanted to try to maintain a civilized relationship with him because of the kids. He refuses to speak with me. I mean, there are going to be weddings and births of our grandchildren. I am going to be at the weddings as well at the births of our grand babies being born.

I have to admit that I was hurt when I found out he had filed for divorce. I did not find out, though, until after talking to a lawyer, myself. Instead of trying to work out our problems, he just went and filed for divorce. I feel that he took the easy way out. I will not go into the depths of what led to the divorce. I will say that blame lies on both sides. I realize that I am a hard person to live with. He hurt me. Therefore, I hurt him.  It took me a few years that I will never get an apology from him. I did write him a letter first apologizing for all that had happened. I received nothing in return.

Like I said, it’s been nearly eight years. If I had a chance to talk with him again, this is what I’d say.

Thank you for the 23 years we had together. They were not all bad. That in itself is evident because of our five children. Thank you for my children. Four healthy sons and a beautiful daughter. They were and still are my blessings. Yes, they were a handful but I would not have missed out on raising them.

I wish I could say thank you for helping me raise them. I can’t. You left by 5 in the morning and came back at 5:30 or 6pm at night. You’d eat supper and disappear outside to work on something or down the street helping someone. Even on weekends, you’d work overtime. Only had Sundays off. Would you work on completing renovating our home? No. Would you spend time with the kids? No. You had to be working on something all the time. You know, our middle sons idolized you. In their eyes, you could do no wrong. I never told you this but our second son asked me why you always had to work. “Why can’t Dad just spend some “fun” times with us?

I want to say thank you for teaching me that money cannot buy happiness. You always were about the almighty dollar. Our first son used to tell you that money is the root of all evil. He was right then and still right today. You worked to make money. Where did that leave you? Alone and lonely.  Still working and still making money. Are you happy? I doubt it. I truly believe that you do not know how to be happy. You were never really happy unless you were working. Sitting around nearly killed you. Relaxation was not your thing.

I want to thank you for scaring me to death when I had to drive anywhere. Then wonder why I refused to take the kids to the doctor. You scared me so bad that even today I have trouble driving period. You used to ask me what I’d do if I had car trouble. I’d call you, I told you. Would you buy me a cellphone, though? No. You said it was a waste of money. Yet, in 2016, you have a cellphone.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for divorcing me. The day I signed the papers, I felt the weight of the world come off my shoulders. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I have grown in so many, many ways. I asked our daughter what she thought if we were to get back together. Her response still rings true. She said it would be a horrible mistake. She asked me why would I do that? She could tell that I was a different person. I started to laugh again. I am happy again. I am a strong, independent woman. You probably wouldn’t recognize me anymore.

You know what gets me? You dating my first cousin. That’s right FIRST cousin! How wrong is that? It is not only wrong but it is so weird! What did she do? Wave that list of to-dos in front of your face? Is that what it was? Even when we were married, you often went to help her with stuff. Did you two hook up then? No, don’t answer that. I don’t really care anymore. You two belong together because you are both so negative. Your negativity wore me out.

Thanks to the divorce, I have learned to love myself again. I have found true love. He loves me. Each and everyday I can tell he is IN love with me. He treats me with respect. We do not have money. You know, though, I could not be happier. He has accepted me for me even with all my little quirks. We laugh everyday. He has accepted my kids as his own. They even call him their step-dad.

So, goodbye, my ex. I have moved on. May you eventually have the kind of happiness you so desperately search for.

I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I have enjoyed writing it. :)

Laurie Jackson

Winter

The weather this winter has been unusual. It’s like it is bipolar or something. Yesterday, my yard was full of robins. This morning, it is cold and have snow.

Make up your mind already, Old Man Winter! Some days we have 50 degree or warmer weather and other days, we have to bundle up to stay warm. This is nothing but getting sick weather.

If you couldn’t tell, I do not like this kind of winter.

We definitely do not have winters like we had when I was younger. I mean, I’m not sure what year it was but we had so much snow we did not know what to do with it all. My great-aunt and great-uncle lived near us. Dad wanted to check on them. So in order to get to their house, we literally rolled across the snow. If we tried walking on the snow, we’d sink knee deep and could not move.

It was cold and roads were closed. There was no school for days. It was great! I remember the National Guard coming out, as well.

One winter, it felt like it was 10 below 0. Ice was hanging off the roof. Snow was everywhere. Of course, there was no school and Dad was home. Well, he got a wild hair to cut wood. Mom thought he was crazy and told him as much. His response to us kids was if you want to stay warm, you will help cut wood! What were you going to do, Dad, make us sleep out in the barn if we didn’t? I don’t think so.

While we were all outside cutting wood, it started to sleet. Mom yelled from a bedroom window to Dad that we needed to come into the house NOW! She didn’t want us kids getting sick. Dad’s expression was a look of frustration. We had only been out cutting wood for maybe 15 minutes. We put everything away and went in.

Later, Mom told Dad that she didn’t want us kids sick. In our house, if one person got sick, the rest of us eventually got sick. It got to the point one time that the doctor told Mom what to look for when we had strep throat. Instead of having to drive to the doctor each time, all she had to do was call the doctor, tell the nurse the symptoms and the doctor prescribed medicine.

Those were days gone by.

Stay warm, my friends!

Laurie Jackson

To Quote…

 

Here are some random quotes that I came across. I did not write any of these. Therefore, I cannot take credit. :)

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” By – Martin Luther King, Jr.

“To pray does not mean to listen to oneself speaking. Prayer involves becoming silent, and being silent, and waiting until God is heard.” By – Soren Kierkgaard

I have trouble with that quote and am trying to improve on it. I keep yakking instead of sitting and listen for God’s voice.

“Ensure that what you do today is special, because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.” By- Chris Sheerin

“A praying man is as bold as a lion. There is no demon in hell that scare him.” By- David Wilkerson

“This Too Shall Pass…When things are bad, remember: It won’t always be this way. Take one day at a time. When things are good, remember: It won’t always be this way. Enjoy every great moment.” Anonymous

“One courageous choice may be the only thing between you and your dream becoming a reality.” Anonymous

I used to be in 4-H many years ago. I was in the steer class. (Dad had all of us enter a steer in the local fair.) Anyway, our leader was a sweet man. He demonstrated on how to take care of our steer and so on.

He used to chuckle and say, “Do as I say, not as I do.” So, in other words, he never followed his own advice. After all these years, I can still hear him say that.

We had a neighbor that had a license plate that read “2 Be Or Not 2 B”. She used to say that what will happen, will happen. I know Mom always says that everything happens for a reason. I truly believe that.

Have a warm, blessed day!

Laurie Jackson

My Name

My name is Laurie Adele. Was I named after someone? Yes, I was named after my mom’s mom. Her name was Laura Adele.

Would I change my name? No. It’s the name my parents gave me. Besides, I like my name now. Growing up, though, I didn’t so much. I grew to like my name. I was always told that Adele was an old name.

I actually named my daughter Adele. When my sisters and I were pregnant, they used to tease me that they were going to name their daughter Adele. They didn’t.

The grandma that I was named after and I were not close. She lived in Washington, (which has nothing to do with why we were never close.) In her eyes, I always felt that I was not good enough. I always felt that I was looked down upon.

She lived to be almost 100 years old. I believe she died three days before her birthday. What cracked me up was the fact that she loved beer. She had a beer everyday or almost everyday.

Stay warm, my friends!

Laurie Jackson

Thus Far

Do I have a tattoo? Yes, just one, thus far. Growing up, all I heard was that tattoos were bad. Tattoos were bad for the skin. I had heard scary stories about people who got tattoos and how much it hurt. My love for needles is nil. I hated the thought of a needle putting ink on my body that would be permanent. Somehow, though, my daughter convinced me to get a tattoo on my arm.

I think it has been three years now since Adele and I have “matching tattoos.” Her’s reads Baby Bear because that is what I call her. Mine is Mama Bear because that is what she calls me. I always said, also, that if anyone messes with my kids or grandkids, these Mama Bear’s claws were going to come out.

My son, Kyle, was the first of my kids to get a tattoo. He has the date of my uncle’s death tattooed on the back of his shoulder. My siblings and my mom were up in arms so to speak, until they understood what the date stood for. They could not believe that I would allow my son to put permanent ink on his body. When they were told what the date meant, they calmed down. Good grief! He also has his son’s name tattooed on the inside of his arm.

My son, Elmer, has wings on both sides of his ankles. He liked the design and wanted them. He was old enough to make that kind of decision. So who was I to say no?

My daughter, Adele, has three tattoos. She has a cross with the date of her godmother’s death on it. Adele was only 6 years old when Kat passed away. She was a funny woman. Adele loved her to pieces. The other tattoo Adele has is five stars running down the outside of her other leg. Each star is painted something different to distinguish each of her brothers. It looks pretty awesome. Her third one is Baby Bear, to match mine. When Ava is older, I want to add “grand” to my tattoo representing that I am, of course, grandma. Adele will add “Mama” to her’s and Ava will get Baby Bear. I think that would be pretty cool.

I suffer from depression. A couple of weeks ago, I was scrolling through Facebook when I came across an article about someone else suffering with depression. On her arm was a tattoo that read, “I will not give in” with an anchor beside the words. I thought what a great saying for me. I showed my husband and agreed with me that I need to get that on my arm. A few days after that, I came across a different article about how this person, too, was suffering with depression. On her leg was a tattoo that read “I’m fine” when you look at it. From this person’s point of view, it reads “Save me”. I am also thinking about getting that tattoo as well.

I won’t get any huge tattoos like some people have. I don’t think I could handle that much pain.

Well, I hope you have a blessed day!

Laurie Jackson

A True Saint

Who am I writing about? My wonderful mother. She truly fascinates me. If she doesn’t make it into Heaven, I know I won’t then. She should be made a saint.

I do not truly know how she did it or does it still to this day. She raised eight children practically on her own. I say that because Dad was a laborer. The only time he was home was on weekends or rainy days. I grew to hate weekends because Dad was home. I’m getting sidetracked.

Mom was never ill. If she was, she never showed it. She never complained. With Mindy being sick and fighting cancer, not once did I hear Mom say anything negative.  She was a stay-at-home mom. She didn’t have her driver’s license during those days.

It was a comfort coming home from school knowing that Mom would be there.

Mom was rarely angry. She was and still is, a quiet woman. I remember that if we did anything wrong, Mom did not have to say a word. Her expression said it all. She would not yell. She reprimanded us with a stern voice. Her favorite phrase was wait until your father comes home. When we heard that, we knew we were in trouble.

One time, my sister and I had been arguing over the chicken breast. We both wanted it. The piece of chicken landed on the floor. She grabbed my sister and I by our heads and slammed them together. (She had already warned us to stop fighting. Obviously, we did not listen.) She told us in a stern but quiet voice to go our room and think about what we had done. Never did get to eat that chicken.

Another time, Mom was washing dishes and she told me to help. I took my time in helping because I hated doing dishes, period. My sisters were already helping. Mom told me she was going to count to ten and if I was helping by then, I’d be in trouble. Well, being the smarty pants that I thought I was, I waited to hear her count. She said to my sisters that they could quit drying. I had to finish the dishes on my own. I said but you didn’t count. Mom looked at me with that look in her eye and said she had been counting to herself. Not fair!

I do not know how Mom did it. There were eight of us brats running around. It’s a wonder she did not start drinking or smoking to keep her sanity. She always put us first. She did without so much.

She took care of Mindy, Dad, Grandma Nolting, Grandma Helen and Elvin. She takes her sister, Aunt Ruth, shopping.

My mother, my role model, my hero. She is a great listener. She always says that she’ll listen but she may not have an answer. I know that if I’m having an off day, I can call her and she’ll make me laugh. If I could be just a quarter of a mom like her, I’ll be happy. I am blessed and grateful that she is still around.

I love you, Mom! Thank you, Lord, for giving me such a wonderful mother! She is a true blessing!

Enjoy your day!

Laurie Jackson