Laurie Jackson's Blog, page 7

Contrast

I immediately thought of my children when I saw what the prompt word was.

I have four sons and they are about as different as night day. Each one has his own personality. Growing up, they’d fight amongst themselves. Outside the home, though, they would have each other’s back. I have to say they are protective of each other.

I have a gay son and if that’s his worst trait, then I’m a blessed mom. I have no complaints about him being gay. He is so book smart, it’s unbelievable. He was reading by the age of 5.  He has an impressive art talent.

My second son is street smart. He is very mechanically inclined. He can fix any type of motor. He blessed with a grandson. When this son was born, I took one look at him and thought this little guy is going to be trouble. Let me just say, there has not been a dull moment watching him grow up. :)

My third son came late one May night, almost midnight.  I was very calm even though I was having problems. He was a c-section birth. He also had a speech problem. He was (and still is) a quiet, shy kind of guy. It takes a lot to tick him off. Watch out, though, when his temper comes out. Run for the hills. Right after his high school graduation, he went into bootcamp. The time he was gone was horrible for me. I realize that sounds selfish but it’s the truth. We could not contact him and vise versa for six weeks. He was in the Army Reserves for six long years. I am thrilled he is no longer in the military.

My fourth son was born on December 31. That’s right. New Year’s Eve. With him, I literally stood on my head. I was too far a long for an epidural. The doctor swung the bed to the position where I was hanging on my head. He said push and suddenly there was my son. I was ill at the time of his birth. I feel that my illness affected my son’s immunity system. This son is extremely book smart. His nickname in grade school was DATA. When the Brain Bowls took place, everyone wanted him on their team.

My sons are as different as night and day; water and oil. I love them each the same. I could not be more proud of the intelligent young men they have turned out to be. They are my pride and joy. (I also have two daughters. That in itself is a whole other blog.)

Have a blessed day!

Laurie Jackson

New Season

Spring is right around the corner and I cannot wait. Not that I’m complaining about the winter we had. It had not been a bad winter at all. The weather was unbelievable. We barely had any snow. Anyone who complains about this winter should be smacked.

I love Spring. Trees and flowers blooming. Grass turning green. Birds singing. Everything and everyone seems to awaken.

It’s time to knock down those spider webs and sweep out the dust bunnies. Open the windows and let in the fresh air. Time to wash windows and let the sunshine in. Time to once again make it fresh and clean in my house.

It’s time to get outside and work in the yard. (That is, if the rain ever stops.) I’m ready to be outdoors more often. It’s time to do some planting and get my hands dirty.

May your day be filled with blessings.

Laurie Jackson

 

 

Sentimental

Yes, I am sentimental. I can’t help it. I am who I am and that’s it. Take it or leave it.

I get rather emotional at times, especially when it comes to my kids or grandkids. I get emotional when good things happen for my kids.

I had the opportunity to watch my granddaughter’s birth. Wow! What an experience. I would not have missed that for the world. My beautiful daughter did a wonderful job. She had a terrific doctor and nurse. We had her laughing practically through the whole ordeal. I felt so proud of her.

When Ava arrived, she cried a bit. She just laid in her mommy’s arms looking around and just chilling. She was taking everything in. Of course, I cried. I was blessed with a beautiful granddaughter.

I cry when any of my children are hurting. I realize that my kiddos are all adults but that won’t stop me from caring and worrying about them.

I wish I had the ability to give the right answers to them when they are hurting. All I can do is listen. I feel that since I am their mother, I should have the answer they are looking for.

I was very emotional at the signing of the papers on my grandparents’ farm. It made me feel very sad and angry to sell the farm. I had (and still have) many, many memories of their farm. The day of the signing the papers over, I started to cry and could not stop. The tears ran down my cheeks like two rivers. My siblings were just sitting there chatting amongst themselves like it was no big deal. Money hunger people, is all they were.

Years ago, I lived in Marthasville with my kids. One of my sons decided to clean out part of the garage. (I had stored the things I had gotten from the farm.) I came home later that night to find the stuff out by the curb. The next day was garbage pickup. I felt angry and hurt. I am still angry at myself. I keep asking myself why didn’t I carry that stuff back to the house? Why? Why? Why? Now, part of my inheritance is gone and there is no way for me to get it back. It’s been over 5 years but that situation still creeps back into my mind. I am not sure how to handle it. I feel guilty. Alright, a part of me is still a bit hurt by my son’s choice to clean out the garage. (His girlfriend was pregnant at the time. He didn’t want her to walk from the driveway to the house in the snow.)

Enjoy your day!

Laurie Jackson

 

Feeling Lost

Today I feel that a part of me is missing. It happens to me at least twice a year. I feel lost and that I am out of sorts. Why?

Last night/early this morning, time sprung forward an hour. This fall, it will fall back an hour. Time change always makes me feel worn out and tired. I do not like it all! Why can’t there be one set time all year? Why does it have to change back and forth? I know the days will stay longer now.

It takes me a few days to get back to my old self. In the meantime, I get cranky. I feel incomplete.

Today the weather is not helping, either! It’s drizzly and cloudy. It matches my mood. I am sitting under my special light. It helps.

I have to say, though, the day is flying by. It’s already after 1pm. I’ve been keeping busy, which helps tremendously.

Well, I think I’m done with my rant. I’m going to go see if I can find that piece of me that’s missing.

Have a wonderful day!

Laurie Jackson

I Have A Legacy?

Do I have a legacy? What? Me? I haven’t done anything to make me famous. I haven’t done anything to make my name stand out in brilliant bright lights.  I haven’t done anything where when people say my name they smile or frown or curse me out. Or have I?

I often wonder if I have left a “mark” on the world. Or after I have passed, will I be remembered?

I have five biological children and one adopted daughter. My world revolves around them. It always has and always will.

Years ago, when I lived in Augusta, the mail lady used to say that I looked like a mother duck with all my little ones trailing behind me.  Does that mean I had my ducks in a row? Haha!

Below is something I found on someone else’s blog. I read it and this is exactly how I feel. I write to be remembered. I want my children and grandchildren to know what and how I felt. I have kept a diary/journal for many years. My kids won’t find them until after I am gone. After reading them, they will no doubt think I was crazy. Perhaps I am crazy. Who knows? Who cares? I don’t. Life is short and  I intend to enjoy it to the fullest.

“I write to find strength.

I write to become the person that hides inside me.

I write to light the way through the darkness for others.

I write to be seen and heard.

I write to be near those I love.

I write by accident, promptings, purposefully and anywhere there is paper.

I write because my heart speaks a different language that someone needs to hear.

I write past the embarrassment of exposure.

I write because hypocrisy doesn’t need answers, rather it needs questions to heal.

I write myself out of nightmares.

I write because I am nostalgic, romantic and demand happy endings.

I write to remember.

I write knowing conversations don’t always take place.

I write because speaking can’t be reread.

I write to sooth a mind that races.

I write because you can play on the page like a child left alone in the sand.

I write because my emotions belong to the moon; high tide, low tide.

I write knowing I will fall on my words, but no one will say it was for very long.

I write because I want to paint the world the way I see love should be.

I write to provide a legacy.

I write to make sense out of senselessness.

I write knowing I will be killed by my own words, stabbed by critics, crucified by both misunderstanding and understanding.

I write for the haters, the lovers, the lonely, the brokenhearted and the dreamers.

I write because one day someone will tell me that my emotions were not a waste of time.

I write because one day I will be gone, but what I believed and felt will live on.”

― Shannon L. Alder

I want to be remembered if it is only by my children and grandchildren and husband. Then, I will know that I have left a legacy. I will be happy.

Enjoy your day!

Laurie Jackson

From Grandma’s Country Kitchen — Play Dough

Here is a recipe that would be fun for kids to play with. I plan on using it for my grandchildren. Perhaps make a footprint of my beautiful granddaughter’s foot. Or just let my grandson play with it when he comes over after school.

BUDDY’S PLAY DOUGH

1 cup flour

1 cup water

1 tablespoon cooking oil

1/2 cup salt

2 teaspoons cream of tartar

A few drops of your favorite food coloring

Mix all ingredients well and cook over low heat until dough pulls away from pan. Knead with hands until play dough is smooth in texture. Store in tightly closed container in a cool, dark place.

Enjoy!

Laurie Jackson

Where Do You Live?

Where do you live? Is it quiet there? Or is it noisy? Do you live in the country or in a big city? Me? I’ve lived several different places, all in Missouri.

My husband and I took a trip to Colorado to check out a city. I cannot remember the name. Two of our friends asked us to move out there with them. While my husband and I were in Colorado, I was ill. The altitude bothered me super horrible. I was throwing up and all that. Needless to say, we did not move out to Colorado.

I grew up on a farm on the outskirts of a small town. Everyone knew you by name and what family you belonged to. Heaven forbid if you did anything wrong or caused trouble. That’s why I always tried to behave. I knew Dad would eventually find out.

Whenever anyone asks me about my past and my childhood, I tell them that I literally grew up under a rock. True story! We rarely went anywhere as a family. We were rarely allowed to have friends spend the night. To be honest, I really did not want any friends over because of the way Dad was.

When Alex and I first got together, he moved into the house I had in Marthasville. It was way too big for us. We sold it and moved to the other side of Washington. It was in a trailer park. The neighbors were not pleasant to be around. We moved to Washington into a small apartment. It was just big enough for us but two of my sons ended up moving in, as well. They slept on the floor because it was just a one bedroom apartment. Let’s just say it was rather cozy.

Rent went up and we bought property in a tiny town called Callao. It was smaller than Augusta. Talk about a one horse town. It wasn’t that bad. The house we bought needed so much work. With my husband suffering from CFS, he just could not get it done. I was losing patience. Since it was a two and half hour drive, I never saw (rarely) saw our kids. Anyone who knows me, knows that family (our kids and grandkids) are extremely important to me.

So, we sold our property in Callao and moved to Washington. We bought a mobile home and are living in a mobile home park. We get to see our grandson couple of times a week. Right now, our daughter, her boyfriend and our granddaughter is living with us. I guess you could say I am in 7th heaven.

With my first husband, we moved from Augusta to Josephville, back to Augusta to Warrenton, and back to Augusta. Yes, we moved a couple of times within Augusta.

I thought when Alex and I moved into this mobile home park, I would not want to move again. I am in my early 50s and quite frankly tired of moving. Unfortunately, our neighbors are within arms reach. We can hear noise coming from inside their home even with our windows closed.

Remember, I grew up on a farm with plenty of open spaces to run and explore. Here, not so much. There seems to be constant traffic and kids yelling. There is a skate park nearby, as well. We hear sirens more than a few times a day.

Guess time will tell with what we will do. It’s a mystery. :)

Have a blessed day!

Laurie Jackson

Quilts

I take great pleasure in making quilts, especially for family.

I draw the squares and cut them out. I lay all the blocks on the floor into a certain design. Then, I make stacks of blocks and begin to sew.

My grandmother taught me how to quilt. She made quilts for everyone. Her quilts were beautiful. All that hand stitching. Wow!

My uncle found several quilts she had made after her passing. That Christmas each one of us kids received a quilt. (There were seven of us.) Each quilt was different. Each one was just as beautiful. We could not decide who got which quilt. So, we put numbers on the quilts and in a hat. The quilt I received was  bright yellow and white which I still use today. It is getting worn but I could never part with it.

The other day, I was scrolling through Facebook when I came across quilts. Someone had made a quilt using handkerchiefs. I thought why couldn’t I do that? I have several hankies from my uncle and grandparents. Some are large and some are small.

I have decided that I will attach the hankies to bigger blocks and sew them all together. I think it will turn out just fine. Every time I look at the quilt, I will think of my uncle and grandparents.

Have a super wonderful day!

Laurie Jackson

Screen

“Don’t push on that screen! You’re going to put a hole in it.”

Heard that so many times, I finally decided to listen.

My grandparents had a screen door. “Don’t let the screen door slam behind you.” Grandma used to say. The words echoed in our ears as the screen door slammed against its frame.

Sitting here, thinking about that screen door, brings back so many memories. My siblings and I used to run into the house through one door and run out through the screen door every time. Yes, Dad yelled at us to stop. Did we? No, we were having too much fun.

One Spring day, (it was raining) so we had to play inside. Now, Grandma’s hallway was long. Just the right size to run and slide. Well, even though it was raining outside, the front door was open. Air was coming through the screen door.

My sisters and I had taken our shoes off and began to run and slide in the hallway. We did that for a few minutes when we heard Grandma’s voice telling us to stop it before someone was hurt.

Me, being a stubborn little snot, refused to listen. I took off down the hallway toward that screen door. I don’t remember if I tripped or what happened. Next thing I know, my arm went through the screen. My sisters started laughing  and making loud noises. Grandma came into the hallway to what was going on.

She saw what I had done. Let’s just say she was not too happy with me and leave it at that.

So many wonderful memories I have of my grandparents’ house.

Have a blessed day!

Laurie Jackson

Challenge Myself

On the last day of February, I told myself that the month of March, I’d write a blog every single day. I wanted to challenge myself to write more often.

Well, today is March 6 and I have not done very well at all. I’ve already messed up. I had an internal argument. Voices were ranting back and forth. It was getting out of hand and just plum ridiculous! The argument got to the point where I was throwing my hands up in the air and back and forth. My husband probably thought I had lost or something. (That’s just my crazy wife being her natural normal self.) Whatever! :)

On the days that I don’t blog, I have an excuse. We have begun to have our wonderful grandson two to three times a week now. I know what you are thinking, why don’t you blog in the mornings before your grandson is here? Well, I’m not sure why I don’t do that. Maybe it’s because my brain is not fully awake. The words aren’t there yet. My morning coffee hasn’t kicked in. Shrugging my shoulders, I don’t know the answer. It all sounds like a bunch of excuses to me. I realize that.

On the days that I do not blog, I try to make up for it on other days. On the other days, I try to do two blogs.  If I don’t get two blogs done, please know it was not with out trying.

I am also trying to stay off Facebook so much. I come to realize that it is a waste of time. I really do not care or need to know who is stirring the pot or whatever. I have mostly been playing the games. Even that has become a bore to me.

So, here’s to more blogging, working on my sister’s story, creating a cookbook and putting together quilts for family members. And…finishing the stories that I have already started. I like to be kept busy. Even watching television in the evenings, I cross-stitch.

In between all that, I must make time to play with my grandchildren.

Have a blessed day!

Laurie Jackson