Bart King's Blog, page 5

I gave Augie an hour to rake the yard, and THIS is all he got done?! Fine. Good dog, I guess. Here’s a treat.

Fine. Good dog, I guess. Here's a treat!

When you lend someone your book and they return it with dog-eared pages:

It's not a contest, but this is one of my all-time favorite reader messages:

"Dear Mr. Bart King, you are my favorite author. Please write back and tell me why!"

I rarely reveal my deepest emotions here.

But I’m feeling vulnerable this morning, even raw. And you know what? I trust you! So here’s my intimate confession:






I’m very fond of these two trees.

Once in the 2nd grade, I had to sit by myself in the corner for misbehaving.

But that was an isolated incident.

Movie Snacks by State:

Computer, enhance image.
 Computer, are you messing with me?

Responders said there was “a smell of wine and cheap perfume.“

MEMO

To: Portland resident
From: Neighborhood Association 
Subject: You are freaking us out

There have been multiple complaints of traumatized passersby fleeing your property. This no doubt relates to your disturbing habit of standing at a window while clad in a hooded cloak festooned with goats’ heads and enjoying your morning coffee. 

Also: please trim those hedges.

Cordially yours, 

The Neighborhood Association

‪My juggling class nickname is suddenly making a lot more sense.‬

I made a sandwich at Powell's bookstore on Hawthorne!