Bart King's Blog, page 277
February 1, 2010
This Posting Is Daring! Respectful! Keen!
I like the motto of D. Roy Kennedy Public School: "Daring! Respectful! Keen!"
But how does that motto match up with the Ontario school's new policy of not allowing balls on the schoolyard? (Because, you know, balls are dangerous and stuff.)
I'm afraid that means the new school motto will have to be "Not as daring as previously advertised! Still respectful! Keen to put balls into permanent storage!"
"Let's review some interesting facts about balloons and gas."
Please watch this. Among other things, you'll learn how to become invisible!
January 31, 2010
New Mexico Has the Nation's Smartest Voters!
CONSTITUTION OF THE STATE OF NEW MEXICOArticle VII., Section 1.
Voter Qualification: Every citizen of the United States, who is over the age of twenty-one years, and has resided in New Mexico twelve months, in the county ninety days, and in the precinct in which he offers to vote thirty days... except idiots, insane persons and persons convicted of a felonious or infamous crime... shall be qualified to vote at all elections for public officers.
January 28, 2010
No, You're Not...
...but if you learn to spell, that WOULD be awesome!
Author Throwdown: Souljah Boy vs. Kanye West
I see the rap artist Souljah Boy has a book coming out. Good for him! Let's see, it's called Teenage Millionaire, and it's his autobiography.
Wait— Souljah Boy (a.k.a. Deandre Way) is 19, and he's already writing his life story?
Wait— Souljah Boy (a.k.a. Deandre Way) is 19, and he's already writing his life story?
Still, I'll bet it's better than Kanye West's book from last year, Thank You And You're Welcome. This book was 52 pages long, but some of those pages were blank. And the pages that weren't blank had gigantic sentences like "Life is 5% what happens and 95% how you...
January 27, 2010
Mark Twain Did Not Suffer Fools (or "Idiots of the 33rd Degree") Gladly
Over a century ago, a crook tried to sell Mark Twain some medicine. Worse, this person claimed the medicine cured two diseases (diphtheria and meningitis) that had killed two of Twain's kids.
The enraged author sent this note back to the scoundrel:
The enraged author sent this note back to the scoundrel:
Nov. 20. 1905
J. H. Todd
1212 Webster St.
San Francisco, Cal.
Dear Sir,
Your letter is an insoluble puzzle to me. The handwriting is good and exhibits considerable character, and there are even traces of intelligence in what you say, yet the letter and...
January 26, 2010
Now THAT'S a Big Book
The Klencke Atlas is the world's largest book. That, and the fact that it's 350 years old, makes it kind of special. I like this life-sized map of Italy, BTW. Story here.
If You'll Just Let Me Have This Garbage...
...I'll be on my way.
