Pamela Q. Fernandes's Blog, page 30

Music to help you Write Better?

Music is something that plenty of us enjoy. Many authors write with music and many consider it noise. Personally I sway both ways.

Music can help you write

There are times where I imagine a scene like a movie and want the background music to help me. Here’s how:

Setting the Tone

I find this especially for somber or sad scenes. I’m a very exuberant person. I mean I do my text messages with kisses and hugs and all sorts of things. So writing a sad scene for me is tough. Yet my reviewers have often commented how heart wrenching certain parts of my book ended up being. Like Seoul-Mates, I remember having used Jisun’s track and it guts me every time I listen to it. But it helped me set the tone of Katia’s heartache and struggle to be accepted into a Korean family.

Identifying a Theme

Writing with music helps you set a theme. It gives your book a certain flavor. While I wrote about Cinders of Castlerea which will be out in October 2017 (yay) I had to get the Irish theme right. I was nailing the language, but I couldn’t get my head around the idea that I was writing in County Clare. No amount of book research inspired me. After listening to a few Irish songs and one in particular by Nightwish I could feel the fresh air across my skin in the emerald isle, savor the whisky and paint the scenes with rolling green hills and lush countryside amidst the backdrop of a fire setting maniac chasing my main lead, Anika.

Intensifying Emotions

Sometimes a tune or a song can stir powerful emotions. As you write, you think, “wow this makes me feel…..”Many times I listen to something and the music makes me run to my computer or notebook just to pen down what I’m feeling. For Under A Scottish Sky I practically heard Cherish the Ladies on repeat. It was just a song that stirred so much pain and feeling that everyone whose read it so far feels the emotion is sweeping. Even my cover reflects it perfectly. If a riff or a tune, creates something in you, makes you feel a certain way, reminds you of something, jot it down and listen to it again to see if you can recreate those emotions for your manuscript.

Music as a Character Trait

The music you listen to can also work it’s way into a character trait. For example if your character likes singing, or dancing to a particular song or is a fan of a band, it can always be added to your manuscript because it adds those details to people and it’s more than just hair color or eye color. It’s that tiny detail that gives your character another dimension.

As a Destressor

Sometimes if you have to transition from one mood to another or a fight scene to a love scene or simply want to get away from your writing, music can help you disentangle your emotions from your highly charged manuscript.

Rhythm and Lyrics

If you enjoy poetry and lyrics, then you know those words can help you write some powerful statements. It can help you string words in a rhythm you never thought of before. If you’re an author who’s writing prose or literary fiction, this can help you powerfully. As I write this post, I’m listening to Walk of Life by Dire Straits. I can’t wait to get up and jive to this right now.

QMC 15 – How do I enroll people for clinical trials?

How do I enroll people for clinical trials?

Dr EJ sent me a question about clinical trials. “I partnered with a pharma company to bring this amazing treatment for Hepatitis C to the country. It’s a proven treatment in big trials in the West. I’m having trouble enrolling people for these studies. How do I convince them participating in these trials could possibly cure them or achieve SVR status?”

How to Enroll in clinical trials?

I picked this question because I did write a paper on this recently and agree the newer drugs for Hepatitis C are a big improvement over what we currently have. (DAA’s or direct act antivirals, for anyone who wants to know.) The only issue is cost. These drugs are very expensive.

That being said, trials and in particular pharma companies have developed a bad reputation. And they’re not doing anything about it. I’m not here to argue about it, let’s discuss how you can get participants. At the very outset, let me underline that the hardest part of clinical trials is getting participants. I’ve been part of many research projects and I believe second to drafting the plan, this first step is the hardest.

But here’s how I go about it:

Evaluate the patient’s needs

Sit down with the person and go through their records, their labs, their adverse events and improvement or lack of it. Talk about where the drugs have failed or succeeded. Mention the development of new drugs and how it could help them.

Explain the Clinical Trial

What is the trial? How much time will it take? Will everyone participating get the drug? Explain the mechanism of action, how the drug works and how it aims to work. Is it a blind trial, what is the dose, the frequency of the drug, will they have to travel and will they have to pay. Pre-empt all their questions and answer them.

Explain the Risks

Don’t make it all look rosy. Other than preliminary findings, there will be a laundry list of side effects in clinical trials. Mention them and repeat the risks. The goal is to get participants who will go all the way. Often, clinical trials fail because patients drop out midway, the slightest doubt scares them off. You don’t want that. The success of any clinical trial is to have your sample in tact to the very end, irrespective of the outcome.

Talk to them Often 

Many participants will have questions. They will ask repeatedly about the drug or the study. Remember this is a kind of litmus test. The participants want to see if you’re going to just commit them and leave or if you will stick around even while the trial takes place. So they will come to you with doubts, they will call you about minor issues. Reassure them as often as is needed. Don’t push them away.

Prioritize Confidentiality 

Often participants are worried about confidentiality. You have adolescents, women, certain communities who are not decision makers at home and so they may want to be part of a trial secretly. Talk to them about HIPPAA and confidentiality. I’ve participated in some studies and I hate that doctors sometimes reveal these details in the elevator or in the car park and then everyone knows you’re in a trial. In fact, I suggest you head over to NIH and participate in a trial yourself to understand the mentality of participants.

Talk about Your Association

Be upfront with patients about what you’re getting from this trial. Your association with the pharma company may be the reason why some may not agree. They will automatically assume you’re getting kickbacks from them . So tell them how this helps you. Why do you think this trial is good. One example of this discussion is in the movie, “Miracle from Heaven.” Here the pediatrician explains to Anna’s mother in under three minutes, but it’s a good honest explanation of talking to patients about clinical trial participation.

Don’t Make it Sound Like an E mergency

There’s no reason to rush things. That in itself will hurt you. People don’t like being rushed into making decisions. Tell them the deadline and leave things there. You can remind them and if they don’t sign up, don’t bring it up ever again. There’s no need to guilt people into it.

Make Research an Aim of your Practice

I think one of the problems today is that our practices are like bars. Come and get what you and then leave. Instead, the practice needs to have a mission, a purpose and education should be one of the aims. In your waiting room, you’re sitting on a gold mine of opportunities to educate your patients. Instead of playing the news or reality TV, why don’t you run educational material about diseases, clinical trials, new developments and science. Use the wall space to highlight new trials that people can participate in. Mention it in your newsletters and make research a part of your practice. When patients know that this isn’t just a curative place but a place where you’re interested in learning and furthering medicine, they’ll be open to participating in studies and may even tell others about it because it won’t be the first time they’re hearing about it.

Don’t Force Anyone 

This goes without saying but don’t force anyone. People will come around, a clinical trial is a big deal. Yes, some drugs are winners but let’s face it, not all are and we want to follow the dictum, “Do No Harm.”

How do you enroll participants in clinical trial. Any tips? Share them with us.

If you’re a doctor who would like to send in a question, you can DM me on twitter @PamelaQFerns or even message me on LinkedIn or simply use the contact form or email me.

 

 

 

 

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Edit Better by Reading Aloud

Edit Better by Reading Aloud

Reading aloud? I hate this step. But bear with me.

This week I received physical copies of my book, “Ten Reminders for the Single Christian Woman.” My mother started reading it and as is the case, had a number of nits to pick. I settled to read the book myself and gasp. Despite the editor and me giving it another pass, as I read the book through my mother’s eyes, I could see the awkward commas and word choices because I read aloud.

I’m not a big fan of reading aloud. Imagine if I had to read out some of my larger works of about 70,000 words. My voice would be hoarse and I’d probably never finish.

Now I’m not suggesting you read aloud yourself. You can use a Text to Speech (TTS) software to do it for you. Microsoft Word has their own version of this built into the system. Reading aloud or a voice reading your text will help you:

1.Catch awkward phrases

2. Correct typos

3. Help you identify problems with dialogue

4. Gauge the rhythm of the sentences

5. Highlight repetitious words. In Milanese Stars, I used the word “just” 150 times

Why an extended break from writing is a bad idea

Breaks: Bad Idea

Breaks. Since the start of this month I’ve kind of slacked off writing. I barely did any writing. I mean zilch. I sent the edits and thought I deserved a break, but I regret it.

It all started with the one year death anniversary of my dad. I told myself I would write later. Then came the laziness. I did submit previously written material but I didn’t write anything new. Which was bad, because at the start of this year I had been writing continuously. That commitment paid off, which is why I have three sweet romance novellas releasing this year, namely, CINDERS OF CASTLEREA, The MILANESE STARS and UNDER A SCOTTISH SKY, along with my Christian Non fiction, TEN REMINDERS FOR THE SINGLE CHRISTIAN WOMAN already out and a medical book in the works if I can only get out of this break mindset.

I think you should put in the required words everyday. Just like any discipline it gets harder to get back in the writing saddle, the longer you’re away from it.

I went from loving it to avoiding it. And I can’t do without writing. But the break ruined my focus and rhythm. Earlier I would write 2,000 words a day. After the break, I can barely chalk 200. It’s hard, my thoughts seemed jammed and the words come out clunky, if you know what I mean.

It’s going to take me a while before I can get back up to speed. A long while. Imagine the month I’ve lost over this. I could have had another first draft ready by now if I had only done my bit.

I don’t think think this is just for writers but you could apply this to everything : Going to the gym, learning to play the piano, handling a small business ; here’s a little advice:

-Do Bitwork

Whatever your goal, if you’re taking a break, don’t stop completely. Keep doing bits of it during your break. That way it’s not too hard to get back in. You also won’t lose touch of what you’re doing or writing.

-Show up

Even if your doing crap, do it. It’s easy to put it off, because you’re in break mode. But show up at your desk or laptop and do crap. Your mind knows you’ve done something to stay in the habit.

-Don’t Set Big Targets

During my break, I still set big targets. Finish X or edit Y and I did nothing. Instead when I saw them on the list I just shut down my PC. I knew they were not achievable during this time, why did I even bother making them?

-Don’t Be Hard on Yourself

When I realized I hadn’t done anything substantial for the last fifteen days, I went into meltdown more like ‘eatdown,’ because I consumed a lot of food.  I then made a gruesome schedule to get back on track and then realized, ‘who am I kidding?’ Don’t punish yourself for being on a break. In my case, I didn’t have to be so rigid. I have four books this year. Four. I’ve been mercilessly recording, writing, reading, researching, editing and marketing at breakneck speed in order to drown my pain, but I needed a break.  I needed rest before I self destructed. So don’t be hard on yourself. If you’ve reached one major milestone and haven’t achieved the others, you’ll get there. Slowly but surely you will.

However, if you can, learn from my mistake. If you’re on an extended break follow the above tips and let me know if they helped you.

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QMC 14 – HANDLING LADIES’ DAYS ON DUTY

“How do you handle ladies’ days on duty?”

Dr. OG has a very important question. She says, “I’ve started a surgical residency and I can’t tell you how frustrating it is to deal with ladies’ days. I’ve spotted, stained, been caught unaware, you name it,  it has happened to me. How am I supposed to deal with this?”

Ladies’ Days

I wasn’t sure about answering this because if you’ve had an intense clerkship, then you’d probably be accustomed to this. However, if you were blessed to be at a cush urban hospital then you may not have had to deal with this in the past.

I actually googled online to see how female doctors deal with this on rounds, while scrubbing in etc and saw very little feedback. I think the general consensus is “You’re a big girl now. Deal with it.” Some general tips:

-Chart Yourself

Do the charting diligently. When leaky week starts, make a note on your calendar and count your cycle and mark the date. Charting helps you be extra vigilant the day the volcano hits. You’re not completely unaware.

-Always Carry Supplies

When we were in our clerkship, we had a colleague SK, who carried spare napkins for ladies’ days. Always. She was our go to girl in case of an emergency. She always had one in her bag. Maybe you could keep one in your bag for emergencies. This can be not just for yourself but for others as well. Stuff it in your shoe or your bra if you don’t carry a small pouch in the wards.

-Invest in Disposable Garments

During your ladies’ days, wear disposable underwear. If you’re on 24 hours shifts, it’s going to be hard to store and launder stained clothes. I can’t stress how much this can help.  Not to mention the hygiene aspect to it.

-Get Pantyliners

If you don’t believe in disposable garments then pantyliners can also help you through long duty hours and can also help you prevent any spotting during your ladies’ time.

Carry Analgesics

If you’re in intense pain and we know that can happen during some ladies cycles, take a pill to tide you over till the morning hours.  If you can carry a heat pad as well then do so. Carry your pain reliever with you.

Wear Loose and Dark Clothes

I’m not sure about you, but when I was a clerk, we had white uniforms. And it was tough during those days. Wear dark and loose clothing if you’re allowed the choice. It can certainly camouflage any leaks and loose clothing will leave you feeling less constricted.

Visit the restroom often

Go often to the restroom if possible. That way you’re aware of the status of the napkin or how long you can go without a change.

Choose short procedures

Just for those special ladies’ days scrub into short procedures instead of long ones. Cholecystectomy instead of Bilroth.

Hope this helps. Does anyone have any other advice?

If you’re a doctor who would like to send in a question, you can DM me on twitter @PamelaQFerns or even message me on LinkedIn or simply use the contact form or email me.

 

 

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Aggressive Authors on Social Media

Social Media is to build people up not tear people down.

Aggressive Authors on Social Media

Today I’m writing about aggressive behavior on social media. I’ll be honest with you. I’m not on social media to connect with family and friends. Those guys are on the phone with me ever so often or on my never ending list of “Meet this week.” I don’t use it to get news. I choose my sources of information very carefully. I do it because of the author and reader community. I do it to be part of the community, to encourage and learn about fans and what pleases them.

Too often you come across people on social media who’re engaged in pissing contests online. And every now and then you see grown individuals tearing people down to make a point instead of building people up. Are you one of them? Aggressive authors probably aren’t aware of their behavior (I hope so) damaging not just themselves but their brand. Don’t forget that social media is not the Holy Grail to sell books. Discover books yes. Sell books. No. I say this because we still read CS Lewis, Jane Austen, Thomas Aquinas and Shakespeare. I don’t see them on social media.

Aggressive behavior is what exactly? Here are a few of them and what this “aggressive-ness” does to fans:

-Bashing Reviewers

Not everyone is going to looooove your book. Some of them will like it, some will star it, some won’t finish it. There’s no reason at all to target reviewers, bloggers or readers with your aggressive behavior. Don’t stalk them, leave snide remarks, question their comprehension of worse their IQ. Remember, different strokes for different folks. Don’t show your temper, especially on social media.

-Bashing Other Authors

I didn’t think this needed to be said, but there are so many editors and authors who do this and think they’re being subtle. No. You’ll only end up looking like a fool. Social media is a very tight rope to walk. If you’re being negative and think disguised questions or veiled comments hide your aggression. You are wrong. That tight rope is now a noose around your own neck. So if you have have something nice to say, say it, otherwise keep quiet. Social media is tough to tight rope and fans will not give you a second chance when you lean the other way.  Nothing will come of insulting other authors or editors or publishing houses. On the flip side if you’re a victim of this, be gracious. Trust me readers are watching and reading. No author is perfect and we all enjoy enough self depreciation not to warrant any more from fellow aggressive authors.

-Auto DM’s

I hate Auto DM’s. Don’t plug people with an automatic message to follow you on 1000 other social media sites they’ve never even heard of. If readers are interested in what you have to say they will follow you wherever, but if you just don’t care and want everyone to buy your stuff without really having something interesting to share then they couldn’t be bothered.

-Playing the numbers game

Too any authors are doing the follow/unfollow or friend/unfriend dance. That is if you follow me I follow you. Or some version of this two-step. People are not interested in boosting numbers. They could get that for ten bucks. What they want is people who have new insights, or something teachable or funny, or interesting. If I see an author with this aggressive tactic of unfollowing in 24 hours I will not look at a request. I don’t have the time to play these childish games. And authors who are really hunkering down and getting their books ready, don’t have the time or energy for this either.

-Mailing List Collectors

This tactic is numero uno on authors minds. ‘Get everyone on their mailing list.’ After all, the marketing gurus swear by it. So authors bombard everyone with giant pop up subscriber ads on their website. And they won’t let you get away without signing up. I’m on multiple mailing lists and I try so hard not to give away my email, but I have to say of all the hundred mailing lists I’m on, I bought one thing in the last five years.  That’s one of the reasons I removed pop up subscriber lists on my website. I have a simple mailing list run by WordPress. I don’t send out special news, special discounts and special specials of any kind.

-Buy Me! Buy Me! Buy Me!

You’re coming off too aggressive if this is the only thing you’re doing. Selling something. Fans and readers won’t be interested in your “buy me” litany if they don’t see the real you. The non-aggressive you. They even wrote a book on this stuff. Can you believe it?

Do you know any other aggressive behaviors of authors? Tell us what they are and how it affects fans and readership.

 

 

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Episode 11- Peter: From Fisherman To Fisher of Men

“Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” Peter

Peter: Fisherman to Fisher of Men

Charles Johnston is a father and husband in Phoenix, Arizona. His conversion journey has taken years, as he felt God pulling him toward His Church but he resisted until he couldn’t take it anymore. He gave in and fell in love with His Church.  He blogs for ‘Now that I’m catholic.wordpress.com’. In this episode, I talk to Charles, about the Apostle Peter, his ministry and transformation from a fisherman to fisher of men.

 

Charles highlights:

– The difference between Peter and Judas

– His openness to the Holy Spirit

– His ability to seek the Lord and remain loyal to Him.

– The spiritual journey and maturation of Peter

 

For our listeners who’d prefer to read, here’s the transcript :

Charles: Well, Saint Peter was from Galilee, which is like the northern region of Israel, and he was the brother of Saint Andrew. Saint Andrew actually came down…I mean he was the apostle of…the disciple of Saint John the Baptist.

And he came to Peter and he told him about Jesus. And depending on which Gospel you’re reading…you know, the synoptics sometimes change up the story a little bit you know.

And Jesus called them to be disciples, Peter and Andrew together. And a lot of people think that James and John, sons of Zebedee, were partners with Peter and Andrew, and they got a fishing business, like a venture together, you know.

So they were fishing in from Galilee. That was kind of the main export of the area, and Jesus called them to be disciples. Peter was married. It doesn’t say whether he was married at the time.

It was assumed that he was a widower, because at one point Jesus heals his mother-in-law. But there’s never a mention of a wife, so it was assumed he was a widower too.

So he’s just a, you know, a Jewish fisherman of the sea of Galilee that’s…along comes this itinerant Rabbi who tells him, “Come follow me. ” And he drops everything and follows him.

Like I said, he was a fisherman. He wrote the Epistles of Saint Peter, First and Second Peter, and they were written in Greek. And so there’s some debate on whether or not he even knew how to speak Greek.

Maybe he had, like, a secretary writing for him. But yeah, for all intents and purposes, he was an uneducated fisherman from northern Israel.

Pamela: Okay. When we talk about Peter, there’s a lot about his characteristics. So can you talk about Peter’s…I mean, throughout the Gospel, there’s mention about his temper. His brashness.

All different things. So can you talk a little about, you know, those flaws that Peter had that all of us have?

Charles: Yeah. Yeah, he was very much…he rushed into things. You know, he would just…he kind of put his foot in his mouth a lot too. You know, whenever it’s listed, the apostles are listed with Jesus and it says, like, who was there.

Peter is always listed first. He was a very important figure in Jesus’ inner circle. You know, it was usually Peter, James, and John was really His inner circle. And Peter would just sometimes just spoke his mind without ever really kind of thinking about it first.

Like, when they were going off to Jerusalem, he said, “I will die for you,” and all that. Just kind of swore his loyalty. And literally, you know, like, two chapters later, he’s swearing and denying that he even knew Christ you know.

So he was very much…he rushed into things. When the guards came to take Jesus away. And they grabbed Jesus to take Him away, Peter drew his sword and cut off the servant of the high priest’s ear, you know.

And so he was just kind of quick to act and quick to talk. And one of my favorite stories is during the Transfiguration, when Jesus is on top of the mountain.

And Peter, and James, and John, you know, the three amigos, are there with Jesus. And Moses and Elijah show up. Moses, and Elijah, and Jesus are having this conversation, and Peter pipes in and says, “You know what, I’m going to…why don’t we build three booths for you guys here on top of the mountain?”

And it’s… and he didn’t even know what he was saying, or he just felt the need. And we all do that sometimes, where you need to fill the dead air with…just kind of, you talk out of just wanting to fill the silence, you know.

And that’s what Peter had done, and just kind of stuck his foot in his mouth once again, you know. But that’s what I love about Saint Peter, is he’s really an everyday, everyman kind of character, like, anyone can relate with.

If you’ve got a temper problem, you know, he cut a guy’s ear off. So if you speak, you know, just without ever really, like, without processing it first, Peter’s your guy.

You know, he really kind of has a lot of these different flaws, but he also has a lot of strengths too. And it was really…Peter was really…his strengths were really reinforced on the day of Pentecost.

When he received the Holy Spirit, you know, in that special way the apostles in the upper room. That he went from kind of gun-shy. Kind of scared. They were up in the upper room.

You know, the door was locked for fear of the Jews, it says in the Gospel of John. And he goes from being this, you know, kind of timid…he would talk, and he would rush into things, but he wasn’t brave.

You know, it didn’t say bravery. And then all of a sudden, you know, bang. He’s out there, and he’s preaching this great sermon, you know, from Acts Chapter 2 or 3, whatever it is, on the day of Pentecost.

Pamela: So would you say that the turning point in Peter’s life was where, you know, the rooster crows and then he realizes his mistake? And from then on, everything changes?

Charles: Yeah, things change from there. But when it really is when Jesus met him on the Sea of Galilee, and post-Resurrection appearance of Jesus. And when He said to him, you know, “Peter, do you love me?”

And he said, “You know I love you, Lord.” And it was that three…Jesus said it three times. But what was really interesting is the words that Jesus used for, “Do you love me?”

The first two times He said it, was “agape,” which is like an, you know, an unending love. A love without boundaries, you know. He said that twice. And then the third time He said “phileo,” which is just, like, a brotherly love.

So it was like Jesus would just settle for that. Like, “If you’ll just love me as much as you love your brother, I’ll settle for that.” Then Peter started crying, because he realized, you know, the three times, “Feed my lambs.

Feed my sheep. Feed my lambs.” It was a restoration from the three-time denial, and I really think that would have been a turning point in Peter’s life.

Pamela: So what is the difference between Peter and Judas? Why didn’t…what is it that made Peter so much more resilient compared to Judas?

Charles: Right. That’s one of my favorite comparisons really, is the two apostles. You’ve got the traitor, Judas, and you’ve got the, you know, the Prince of the Apostles, Peter.

And the difference between the two of them is they both betrayed Christ really. I mean, Judas done it in a more of an overt way. He went out and he brought temple guards, and he brought them over and paid for it.

So his betrayal was, you know, more treasonous than Peter’s. But Peter, you know, was there, and he denied Christ three times after just saying one or two chapters earlier, “I’ll die for you.

I’ll die with you.” And He said, “Okay. Yeah.” You know, Jesus kind of knew it was gonna happen, because He said, “You’re sure you’ll die for me? All right. Later on down the road you’ll die for me.

But as of right now, you’re going to deny me three times.” And the difference between the two of them that…the thing that really strikes me is despair. Judas betrays Christ.

Judas realizes what he does, and he gives into despair, and he goes out and he hangs himself. Peter betrays Christ, realizes what he done, and then on Easter Sunday he ran up to our Lord.

You know, and he wanted to be restored to God. He wanted to…and it reminds me of any time we sin. If we turn back to God, God is always waiting there for us. He’s like the father from Prodigal Son.

He’s always waiting there with open arms. But the difference between someone who’s forgiven and someone who’s unforgiven is the despair. You give in to despair…and, I mean, everyone’s done it.

I’ve done it myself, and think, like, “Oh gosh, how am I going to be…I can’t be forgiven for this. How can I do…” And you give into that, and that’s a trick of the devil.

But it tamps you into not wanting to seek forgiveness. Not wanting to seek that restoration that Peter received on the shore of Galilee, when Jesus restored him back to his rightful place.

That’s the difference I see between Peter and Judas, is despair. They both committed, you know, treason against the king. But Peter came back and wanted to be back in the fold. Peter wanted forgiveness. Judas just went off and killed himself.

Pamela: Peter’s strength. I mean, we know that he’s a flawed individual. Peter represents the majority of us as people. But then Peter also represents this potential that God…Christ Himself saw this great potential in Peter.

Which Peter didn’t know he had. So what were these strengths that Peter had? This potential that was seen in him?

Charles: I think the biggest strength that he had was that he allowed the Holy Spirit to work through him on the day of Pentecost. Like, they said that sermon that he preached on the day of Pentecost, they said thousands were baptized.

Three thousand, it says in Acts. And he allowed that, because Jesus promised him, you know, right before the Ascension, “I’m going to send the Holy Spirit. Go back to the upper room in Jerusalem and pray and wait.”

It was nine days later the Holy Spirit came, and he allowed that to work through him, you know what I mean? Like, he could have fought, and could have said, “No.”

And could have said, “No, the master is gone, and woe is me.” And he could have went back into that state that he would have been, you know. But instead, he allowed God to work through him, and that’s what any of us have to do.

Because we all have our strengths and weaknesses, but we have to allow God to work through us to let the strengths shine through, because they’re all gifts from God. We have to allow them to work through us.

Pamela: Peter was somebody who changed gradually into his ministry. He would say…

Charles: Right, yeah. He was very…I don’t know how to put it. He was very anti-goyim. You know, a Gentile. He was very pro-Jewish and Jewish only, you know. And he wouldn’t even consider when God told him that all these things…when he had that vision on top of the house.

And the sheet was coming down. You know, it was the four corners that was held up, and it was all these unclean animals and stuff. And he said no when God showed him this and said, “Take and eat.”

“No, no, no. Never has unclean things touched my house.” So he actually said no to God. “No, I’m not going to do that.” In the end, the sheet came down…I believe it was three times.

It might have been four times until finally he got the message. And he went to Cornelius’s house, and that’s where he kinda seen that because…Paul was more of an apostle to the Gentiles.

When he came into a town, Paul would go into the synagogue, preach in the synagogue, usually wouldn’t get much results, and then go out to the Gentiles. Peter was the apostle to the Jews.

He would go only to the Jews. And he thought really that, you know, because salvation is from the Jews, he thought that it was a particular thing for them. That God was saying that, “This is…they’re my chosen people.”

But it’s spreading out, you know. It’s for the whole world. And he was kind of resistant to that, but then he got on board.

Pamela: Yeah, I think it was the Jerusalem Council that Paul and Peter had met for the first time. And then Paul was supposed to be…I think that’s where they identified that Peter would only talk to the Jewish people.

And then bring conversion there. Whereas Paul would be the guy who would speak to the pagans, because he was very successful with the Gentiles.

Charles: Yeah Peter was more…Peter stuck mostly to with the Jews, until he had received that vision to that…basically, like, “It’s okay, Peter. You can let go.” And this is the way it’s supposed to be.

Because then he started eating with, you know, mixed company. And then some of the Jews in, I believe it was Antioch, some of the Jews kind of took offense to that, that he was eating with mixed company.

Because it was Judaizers…that was one of the first problems of the early church, was Judaizers. And they said that, you know, to become a full member of the church you had to be circumcised.

You had to keep the Mosaic Law. And that’s really what the whole Jerusalem Council was about. “What kind of requirements do we have to put on these new Gentile converts?”

And Peter stopped eating with Gentiles, and that’s when Paul kind of chastised him. I think it was in Galatians that he talks about this, where he said and, like, took him to task for that.

And Peter seemed, like, “Okay. Yeah.” And Peter went back to, you know, the mixed company and everything. But yeah, that was what the Jerusalem Council was mostly about, was, “What kind of burdens do we put on?”

You know, “Do we make them keep the whole Mosaic Law?” And that’s where we get the Council’s decision. And the thing that was interesting about that too, is James stands up and he gives kind of his opinion on what’s going on.

You know, after they receive Paul’s testimony about what’s going on. And then Peter stands up and says, “We have decided. He speaks for the church.” You know, that’s where you really see Peter really taking on the leadership role, apart from Pentecost Sunday.

But he’s really taking on that role, saying, “We have decided.” So he’s speaking with authority there, and that’s when I think he really had a good leadership skill.

And he was always named first when naming the apostles, and he was always…sometimes in different parts of the Gospel. It will say, “Peter and the other apostles.”

Or, “Peter, James, and John, and the other apostles.” And at all the major moments of Jesus’ life, Peter, James, and John was there. But it was Peter who first recognized Jesus as the Christ, you know.

When they were sitting and He said, “Who do people say that I am?” And they come up with all kinds of, you know, “Elijah. Some say this. Some say that.” And then He said, “Who do you say that I am?”

And Peter spoke up immediately and said…because that’s what he does. He speaks immediately. He says, “You are the Christ. The Son of the living God.” And that’s when Jesus tells him, you know, “Blessed are you, Simon Bar-jonah.

For flesh and blood hasn’t revealed this to you. And now you are Peter.” Peter was the first one to recognize Christ. And also, there’s another thing that I always found interesting, is in Luke. It’s Luke 22:31.

Thirty-one through 32, I think. It says, you know, “Satan, his request is to sift you like wheat.” And He says, “But I prayed for you, and when you turn back, strengthen the brethren.”

Jesus was telling him, “You’re going to betray me,” basically. He says, “He wants to sift you like wheat.” But what’s interesting is the word that He uses in verse 31 as “you” is plural “you.”

Like, in America, you’d say “y’all,” you know. Or “youse.” But it’s plural “you.” And then the next verse, when He says, “But I have prayed for you. Turn back and strengthen the brethren.”

The word He uses there is the singular version of “you.” So he is saying that, “Satan is gonna test all of these.” All the apostles will be tested and sifted, you know. “But I prayed for you in particular.”

Jesus prayed particularly for Peter. And, I mean, as Catholics we believe that Peter is, you know, the first pope, but even when I was a Protestant I still knew that Peter had a very special role.

That he was the de facto leader. He kind of became the leader after Pentecost, when he stepped up to the mic, but he was kind of the de facto leader the whole time, the way I see it.

Pamela: And it meant a lot that Peter had been…I mean, knowing that your leader has gone and left you, and now you are left with the ministry and doing all the things that He did.

So it must have been difficult managing the early church, which was so fragmented with no specific rules.

Charles: It would have been impossible if not for the Holy Spirit, really. You know, it would have been a sheer impossibility. There’s a story that Dr. Peter Kreeft tells all the time.

He’s a professor of philosophy at Boston College. And there was a merchant in France in the 1800s, and he wanted to convert to Christianity. To Catholicism. Or in the 1700s.

No, it was back during the time of the Bourges, so I guess it was the 1400s. And he wants to convert, and he tells the Bishop of Paris. The Bishop of Paris says, “Oh, great. I’ll baptize you right now.”

He said, “No, no. I’m going on a business trip to Rome. Let me go to Rome, and I want to see it all for myself. See, you know, the capital of your Christian Empire here, and then I’ll come back and I’ll get baptized.”

And the bishop thought, “Oh boy, he’s going to go and see all the corruption. You know, and all the different things that was going on. And all this, you know, high place corruption.”

And so the merchant disappears, and three months later he comes back and he says, “Did you see it?” He said, “Oh yeah, I’ve seen it.” He said, “What did you see?”

He said, “Oh, I’ve seen a terribly run organization with corruption and all these different things.” And then he said, “I want in.” He said “You want in?” And he said, “Yeah, because without the Holy Spirit, this would have collapsed two days after the Resurrection.”

If you look at the odds that they were up against for 2000 years, and especially in the early church, with all the things they were facing. And the Sanhedrin was constantly bringing them in and beating them in Jerusalem.

Until they, you know, graduated up to stoning Stephen. They sent Paul out as, like, a Christian hunter all the way to Damascus to go drag them back, and all these different things.

And then the Romans get involved, and the Romans start persecuting. If it wasn’t for the Holy Spirit, the whole thing would have just collapsed in a matter of weeks.

But that’s really what made Peter the leader he was, was the Holy Spirit. Because Jesus said, “I’m going to send the advocate, and he’s going to strengthen you. He’s going to help you and he’s going to bring back all these things I told you.”

Because you got to remember too, is we didn’t have a Bible back then in the early church. Everything was through memory and through oral, you know, passed-down campfire kind of stories and church services and stuff.

So they kind of, like, passed on, because the first Gospel wasn’t written…I think they say the earliest was maybe 30 years after the Resurrection. So it isn’t a terribly long time.

But still, even then they would’ve only had…like, each little group would have only had fragments of what we now call the Bible.

Pamela: So what exactly can ordinary people, like, qualify to learn from Peter’s ministry, from his life, from what he did, and what he finally accomplished? I mean, he started off being, you know, a fisherman.

And then he went on to being a fisher of men. So what can we learn from Peter?

Charles: Talk about the two biggest things I think that we can learn from Peter is, no matter what we do, no matter what happens, we can always return to God. So no matter what you do in your life.

No matter where you’re at in your current faith-life or, you know, whatever you want to call it, you can return to God. God can use someone like Peter, who denied Him three times.

He can use someone like Saint Paul, who killed Christians. You know, he had blood on his hands like we talked the other time, about Saint Paul. But Peter betrayed Christ in a very real way.

But, you know, he betrayed Him by denying Him three times, and yet here he comes out of that and becomes the first leader of the Church. He becomes, you know, the first pope, we believe.

But everyone can see that Peter was a very special leader in the early Church. And that’s really, I think, the biggest takeaway, is no matter what you’ve done in your life. No matter where you’re at.

No matter what kind of sin you’ve committed or what you think that God can’t…because you hear that a lot from people. You talk to people about God and they say, like, “Oh no, if you knew what I had done, God can never forgive me.”

No, He can. God can forgive you. God will forgive you. All you’ve got to do is ask, really. That’s all you have to do, is accept it. He’s already done the work. He already died for you.

All you have to do is really just reach out and grasp it. You know, it’s like a hand being offered to you. You’re drowning in the sea of sin, and there’s a hand reaching down, just like Peter when he sunk in the Sea of Galilee.

When he walked on the water. It’s the exact same thing. Jesus reached out His hand and grabbed him, and that’s what Jesus…has His hand out after every single one of us. Every person on Earth.

Jesus has His hand outstretched to us, and just like Peter, no matter what we do we can reach out and grab His hand. And that’s it. And there’s no…you don’t have to, you know, do any kind of, like, degree.

You don’t have to earn a degree. You don’t have to run a marathon. There’s no requirements, you know. Just reach out and grab the hand of Jesus. That’s, I think, the biggest thing.

And another thing is, be emboldened by the Holy Spirit. You know, allow the Holy Spirit to embolden you just like it did with Peter. The day of Pentecost comes, they’re in fear of the Jews, in the upper room with the door locked.

And here all of a sudden, he throws the door open and goes outside and starts preaching. And they would go to the temple, in the temple courtyards, and they would preach in the temple courtyards where the Jerusalem authorities actually were.

Like, that was their physical location, and they would preach right outside their doorstep. He became completely emboldened. Fearless, yeah. Fearless. And the fearlessness came from the Holy Spirit.

Because Peter wasn’t fearless to begin with. Peter was scared of, you know…he might have only got…I don’t know what the punishment would have been for being a disciple of Christ.

But he might have only got whipped or something to begin with, you know, on the day of the Holy Thursday or Good Friday. But he was terrified there. He was terrified to admit he even knew Jesus.

You know, “I’ve never seen him in my life.” But now, he’s going literally to the doorstep of the people who killed his rabbi. His master. His Lord. You know, he’s going to their doorstep and preaching the Gospel right outside.

So that’s a big turnaround, and we have to allow that to happen in our lives too. You have to, you know, be fearless in the sake of the Gospel. Just go out there and share the Gospel with somebody.

And you might get rejected. You probably will get rejected, you know, more times than they’ll give a friendly…you know what I mean? Like, especially if you do it, you know, in public or online or whatever.

You get a lot of nasty comments online. And just let it, you know, let it roll off your back. Doesn’t matter. Doesn’t matter what somebody says. What matters is the truth, and the truth is, Jesus is who He says He is. And that’s world-shaking truth.

Pamela: Did you also say that Peter was very loyal? I know that even though he denied Christ, I mean, he was with him practically every step of the way. Even though he said he didn’t know him.

But he was in the courtyard watching him, and you see Peter’s loyalty throughout.

Charles: Yeah, I feel like he was very loyal. I think that fear got the best of him. Or maybe it was even the devil, because Jesus said, you know, “The devil is wanting to sift you like wheat.”

So maybe it was just kind of a temptation from the devil. Just, you know, kind of like the old cartoons. The demon on the one shoulder and the angel on the other shoulder, you know.

And the demon got the better of him. But yeah, I think he was loyal, and he followed Jesus, and he wanted to do the right thing. He wanted to be there, you know, with his master. But I think he just let fear get the best of him, you know.

And that happens. It happens to all of us. I can’t seriously say without a shadow of a doubt that if I was there 2000 years ago, I would have walked right up and said “Yup, I’m with him.

Put me on the cross next to him.” You know, especially pre-Resurrection, because this was kind of an unexpected thing, even though Jesus told them. Like, that’s what always shocks me.

Because we read it with, you know…hindsight is 20/20. So we read the Bible and we kind of know what’s going to happen. Jesus is going to die. He’s going to get raised from the dead.

But them at the time, the apostles, even though Jesus would say, like, “Listen, I’m going to Jerusalem. They’re going to kill me, and then I’ll come back on the third day,” it just goes right over their head.

And it always surprised me, but I guess when you look at it, you know, hindsight is 20/20. Like I said, then you can see the whole picture. We can see the whole picture.

But back then, this was kind of a surprising event, that all of a sudden, here’s the Messiah, and he’s being took up to be crucified by the Romans. How could the authorities that are supposed to be waiting for the messiah too.

You know, the Pharisees and the Sadducees. How could they deliver him over to the occupying force? So it would all have been kind of shocking.

So I can’t say with absolute certainty that I would have joined Jesus on Calvary. But yeah, he let fear get the best of him, you know, and it happens. But I do think he was loyal. He wanted to do the right thing.

Pamela: And also, I think this is an exciting thing with almost every page. Every scene. That God sees the potential where probably human beings won’t. He sees things so far…I mean, you would never have thought.

That they would have gone on to do some great things. But then each of them went on and did them.

Charles: Well, I mean, we see that all the way back in the Old Testament too, don’t we? You know, when David’s…when Samuel went to Jesse. And God directed him to go to Jesse’s.

And he had, like, what was it, five or six sons? And every single one of them would come forward, and God said, “Nope. Nope. Not him. Not him.” Until finally He said, “Where is your other son?

There’s another son.” He said, “Oh yeah, he’s just…” And God said, “I look at the heart.” You know, He sees the potential. I mean, He knows the potential of everybody. He kind of goes towards that.

God can take a mold, you know. Your best potential. Whereas we might see, like, oh that guy’s a loser. You know, we judge from outward appearances, but God knows the heart.

And that’s the most important thing, is your heart. Your desire to do good.

Pamela: What are some of the most famous teachings or quotes of Peter? I mean, there were certain things that he…other than his preaching to only Jews.

But there were specific teachings that Peter had. What were some of the most famous quotations or teachings?

Charles: Well my favorite thing that Peter ever said was after the Bread of Life Discourse. You know, Jesus is preaching in the synagogue at Capernaum, and He tells them, “This is…you know my flesh is true food.

My blood is true drink,” in John Chapter 6. And then the Jews started grumbling among themselves. And then Jesus doubles down and says, “You have to gnaw on the flesh.” And then a lot of them left.

Many of His disciples drew back. They left Him. And Jesus turns to the apostles, you know, the group. There are the 12 of them. And said, “Will you go away also? Will you leave me also?”

Once again, Peter is the one, he’s the spokesman of the group, and he speaks up and says, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” And that’s really the perfect answer.

Where else are we gonna go? You’re the Messiah. You’re the Son of God. Okay I don’t…he didn’t say, “I perfectly understand your teaching here on the Bread of Life.” He didn’t say, “I get it 100%.”

He just said, “I’m with you. I believe in you, and so if you say this is so, who am I to say it isn’t?” And that’s really…that, I think, really sums Peter up, is he was willing to just trust Jesus and just go with it.

And it’s really something that I’ve strived to do, you know, for the last few years of my life, ever since I’ve really kind of re-committed myself to…because I’ve been a Christian my whole life.

But really I was a Christian with heavy air holes about that, you know. It was when he told them, he said in…I think it was First Peter. I have to look up the exact location.

But it was, “Be prepared to give a defense for the hope that’s in you.” You know, always be prepared to give a defense, and do it with gentleness and kindness too. But always be prepared to give a defense for the hope that’s in you.

And that’s…what is the hope that’s in you? The hope that’s in you is Christ, so always be prepared to give a defense of Christ. And not so much like “on the defense.” The word he used was “apologia.”

That’s where we get “apologetic.” But it wasn’t so much a defense like, “Be on the defensive, and if someone says something, say, like, ‘Hey,’ and get your guard up.”

It was, “Be prepared to share the Gospel,” basically. Be prepared at all times and all seasons. Be prepared to share the Gospel with whoever you need. If someone asks you, “So, what is this deal about Christianity?”

Be prepared to share with them. You know, and you don’t have to be a catechist, and you don’t have to be a professional evangelist, but we’re all called to evangelize. Every one of us.

You know, the church exists…I think it was Paul VI said, “The church exists to evangelize, and that is her basic mission.” We are a church that exists to evangelize, and not just Catholics. All Christians.

That is our goal. We are called to spread the news, the good news, far and wide. Jesus told them right before the ascension to go to the ends of the Earth. “Teach in everyone all that I’ve taught you.”

That’s our calling. Every single one of us. Anyone who’s ever been baptized into a Christian church, no matter if you’re, you know, Pentecostal, Baptist, Catholic, whatever, you’re called to evangelize.

And that’s what Peter said in his epistle, is always be prepared to give a defense. Give a reason for the hope that’s in you.

Pamela: So what book did you use when you were reading up on Peter?

Charles: There’s a book that…I actually took Peter as my Confirmation name when I was received into the church. And so my sponsor at RCIA gave me a book about Saint Peter, because I’m a big fan.

And I can’t remember the name of it though, offhead. I left it at home. I can’t…but another…it was really good. I’d have to maybe email it to you. Another one, though, was by Cardinal Dolan.

Cardinal Dolan, the Archbishop of New York. His Episcopal motto is, “To whom shall we go?” You know, quoting Peter. And he wrote a book called “To Whom Shall We Go?”

It’s kind of a reflection on Saint Peter, and I thought it was a really great book. And then, you know, apart from that, just all throughout the Gospels. And the first, you know, I think the first half of Acts is about Peter mostly.

And then it kind of shifts to Paul. So if you really want to read up on Peter, I’d say go through the first half of Acts.

You know, his name change, that’s a very significant thing that happened in the Bible. You know, he starts out as Simon, then he changes to Peter, and that’s indicative of…there’s a lot of people in the Old Testament especially.

You know, you have Abram changing to Abraham, and Jacob becomes Israel. You know, you have a lot of these name changes in the Bible to signify kind of a change in mission.

And Peter was Simon, and it was…Jesus changes him to Peter, and Peter means “rock.” “On this rock, I’ll build my church.” You know, he changes his name to “solid.” You know, Petros means “rock.”

It’s a solid, firm thing. That’s…at the time Peter wasn’t solid as a rock. But like I said, as you see later on, he becomes solid. And then, you know, he even died for the faith in Rome. He was crucified.

Tradition tells us he was crucified upside down. Because he told the executioners that he wasn’t worried that he would die in the same manner as his Lord. So they flipped him upside down.

And that was actually on…he was buried on Vatican Hill, so that’s where currently Saint Peter’s Basilica is built. Right over the top of his grave. But there’s actually a book…I never did read the book.

But I’ve seen the movie. “Quo Vadis,” it’s called. It means “where are you going?” And it was kind of an apocryphal story. I don’t know if was from the Acts of Saint Peter. It’s not a canonical book.

But there was a novel written in the…I think it was the 50s or 60s. They made it a movie in the 60s, and it was a pretty good movie too. And it was kind of about Peter’s later years, you know.

But supposedly the story goes, Peter escapes from the Roman authorities a few times. You know, he’s kind of underground in Rome. Kind of in hiding. And he escapes from the powers that be who were trying to capture him.

And he’s walking out on the Appian Way. And he’s walking out of Rome, and he sees Jesus. And Jesus is carrying a cross, and Jesus is heading into Rome, and he asks Him. He says, “Where are you going?

Quo vadis?” And He says, ” Oh, I’m going back to be crucified again.” Then all of a sudden, Peter remembers the last time Jesus went to be crucified and he denied Him.

And so he turns around and walks back into the city, and he was captured, and Nero had him crucified. It was a nice image of the way Peter grew, you know. The way he evolved in his faith, from being loyal.

But not loyal until death, to loyal until death. He went the whole distance. He became a martyr. The ultimate witness for the faith is…you know, martyrdom means “witness.”

He became the ultimate witness for the faith by submitting himself to martyrdom.

Pamela: And I think we’re all being called to that, like, from being just loyal, and on the path to being completely loyal. And it’s an everyday thing, I guess. That you’ve being called to do that over and over.

Charles: Yeah, well because Jesus is the king of the universe. The king of kings. And you don’t kind of submit to…we’ve all kind of lost the idea of what a king is.

Because, you know, everyone lives…not everyone. But most of us that are listening to this live in kind of, you know, in democracies, and we don’t really have monarchies.

I mean, they have monarchies in some European countries, but they aren’t really what they used to be. So we’ve kind of lost the idea of what a kingdom is and what is a king.

But Jesus is the king of the universe. He’s the king of everything and we have to submit. There was a couple weeks ago. The Gospel reading was, “Jesus said, ‘Come to me, all you who are labored and heavy burdened.

And I will give you rest, because my yoke is easy and my burden is light.’ You have to submit to the kingship of Christ.” And He also said, you know, “Pick up your cross daily and follow me.”

We have to be willing to go all the way with Christ. And 99% of us won’t be called to martyrdom. That isn’t what we we’re called to, but the little things, you know. Just we have to be willing to suffer for Christ if we’re called to that, and not turn away.

Pamela: And I think that one of the things is being aware of the moment that you’re being called. Sometimes we’re not aware that in this moment, that we’re being called.

And based just on your own independent trip, I think being open to the Holy Spirit leads you to understand that you’re being called at this moment. To this moment of fellowship, or to this moment of charity, or to this moment of, you know, giving, or, whatever.

Charles: Yeah, these divine appointments. I can’t remember who it was that I heard say that, “Divine appointments is these little moments in time where someone says something to you.

And just a Bible verse pops into your head. You know, share it with them. Tell them that. Don’t keep it to yourself.” Or, you know, if somebody needs counseling.

And you just sit there, like, nodding, “Uh-huh, yeah,” but you don’t actually say anything. But all these little things are just going to pop up in your daily life that you can use to help further the Gospel. That we’ve just let slip by.

The post Episode 11- Peter: From Fisherman To Fisher of Men appeared first on PAMELA Q. FERNANDES.

QMC- 13- The Celebrity Tag & Humility

How do I stop the celebrity tag from getting to my head

Dr DL has an unusual question about celebrity tags. “I’m a super-specialist. One of a kind at my institution. I’ve kind of developed a celebrity status. Nurses make way for me, I’m allowed ahead of the queue at the cafeteria and if I’m late people are willing to excuse my tardiness. I’ll be honest, it’s kind of flattering. I love it but it’s giving me a God complex. How do I stop the celebrity tag from getting to my head?”

Celebrity Tag & Humility

I have to say this was quite unusual though I can relate. It’s easy to allow the celebrity to take over and run away with the tag. I think the best bit is that you realize it’s getting out of hand. For one, appreciate that you are loved and respected.

As far as preventing the celebrity tag these may help:

DRIVE THE FOCUS TO THE TEAM

A doctor is only as good as his team. So whenever you can, share the limelight with the team.  I’m guessing you’re in a surgical specialty so you have an even bigger team to share the celebrity with at work. Your ICU nurses, recovery room staff, OT staff and the wards.

DON’T ACCEPT PREFERENTIAL TREATMENT

What today is deference will tomorrow be partiality. I know lots of doc’s who want to be served ahead of others in a line or expect preferential treatment. Why? Is your time more important than others? Don’t encourage this. Pay your dues as you go as far as time is concerned. You’ll be more loved.

CHECK ANY SELF- PROMOTION

In Medicine, the culture had been to self promote. You see it right in medical school. The higher-up’s have no clue who does what, and when the self promoters promote, it is assumed they’ve done the hard work.  This behavior gets reinforced throughout training. Are you self-promoting your own celebrity? You may be guilty of it without being aware.

KEEP YOUR FEET ON THE GROUND

Remember no one is perfect . The higher your rise the worse your fall. Every time you hear praise remind yourself you will make mistakes. Ground yourself. Stay rooted to your colleagues and especially other doctors, you need their help. Your celebrity maybe hurting them. So stay grounded. I do recommend Henry Marsh’s book “DO NO HARM” as he recounts being a neurosurgeon and dealing with his flaws everyday.

FLATTERY OR APPRECIATION

Know the difference. People maybe saying what you like to hear. Are you getting carried away by flattery? Once you pay attention, it’s easy to tell the difference. Deflect any flattery and cherish the appreciation.

STAY HUMBLE

You climb the mountain to see the world not so the world can see you. Stay humble. That’s the best advice I can give you. Here’s an article on eating humble pie. And a word of caution to the celebrity afflicted docs, if you think you’re humble, pride has already set in. Tha’s the simplicity of it. Read Dr. Jack Coulehan’s article on staying humble from the Annals of Internal Medicine.

I hope this helps you. And if anyone has any more advice please do share. I haven’t reached the level of suprerstardom

Cover Reveal: Under a Scottish Sky

Cover Reveal for UNDER A SCOTTISH SKY. Yay! It’s finally here.

I wanted to share the cover for my latest romance by Satin Romance.

Under a Scottish Sky

It’s based in the beautiful port town of Oban.

You can probably tell this is a sweet, multicultural romance featuring a Filipino nurse and a handsome Scottish man.  This cover has been designed by the lovely designer, Tara.

What do you think? Like it? Love it? I’m going to share my paperback cover as well pretty soon. Give me your feedback.  We’re gearing for a release date in September so watch this space as there’s going to be plenty of surprises, including Facebook quizzes and prizes. So stay tuned. If you’d be interested in an ARC let me know.

To give you a sweeping view and feel of the book I also have a page on pinterest.

Feel free to browse through the board and who knows you may chalk Oban as you next vacation spot. I know I want to.

In the meantime, if you like the cover, do share it with any of your friends who’re partial to handsome Scottish men and Scottish Romances. I can’t wait to share the blurb and behind the scenes tidbits while making this book. I’m sure you’re going to love it!

Episode 10- How to Transform Tragedy in our Lives?

Overcoming negative emotions is important.

Transforming Tragedy

Gordon Grose pastored three congregations 25 years, then served 12 years as a pastoral counselor in a Portland, Oregon counseling clinic. He now serves with Good Samaritan Counseling Services, Beaverton, OR.

Gordon Grose

A graduate of Wheaton College (IL), Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, Brandeis University, and Boston University, he comes from a rich and varied background in theological and counseling training. In 2015, Gordon published Tragedy Transformed: How Job’s Recovery Can Provide Hope For Yours, a book about turning to Job for hope after tragedy.

In this episode, I talk to Gordon Grose, counselor and author of “Transforming Tragedy” about preparing, facing and transforming tragedy in our lives.

Gordon answers the following questions:

– Can we prepare spiritually or otherwise for tragedy?

– How do we transform tragedies in our life?

– What are the steps involved in this transformation?

– Why he picked Job as a model for this transformation?

For our listeners who’d prefer to read, here’s the transcript.

Gordon: Well, first, Pamela, let me thank you for your kind invitation to join with you today on this podcast. My name is Gordon Grose, G-R-O-S-E. And I’m a pastor and counselor, and now recently an author. I pastored 3 congregations over a period of 25 years, different places in the United States. I did counseling with Western Psychological and Counseling Services in Portland, Oregon, where my home is, for about 11 years. And I’m now counseling on a volunteer basis at a place called Community which offers counseling without a fee, and the whole ministry is supported through donations. By the way, this is a worldwide ministry, locations in 23 nations and 18 in Africa. Two years ago, I published my book the first one I’ve written on the subject of recovering from tragedy based on the book of Job in the Bible. I’ve been married 57 years as of next month, July 9th. We have four children, eight grandchildren, two great grandchildren, and one great coming.

Pamela: So you’ve actually had a very long career in counseling? You’ve also experienced lots of people with tragedies and things like that, right? You’ve met these people, you’ve seen this happen.

Gordon: Well, in pastoring, you certainly see it all the time. There’s constant funerals as there are weddings and births of babies, and so forth. So you get an experience of ministering to people in deep grief. And as a pastor you have a great privilege of being essentially in the front lines, seeing firsthand how people respond, and working with them to bring about comfort and resolution, and trust in God in spite of the loss which they are experiencing.

Pamela: So do you think that there are some people who, you know, are better equipped for tragedy? I mean, is there a way that somebody can be better prepared for tragedy? Or it’s just that when it hits us that’s the time you come up with whatever defense or coping mechanism you have?

Gordon: That’s a good question. One of the things I struggled with in the book, and I noticed that a very well-known author Timothy Keller struggled with it as well in his book on, “Walking with God Through Pain and Suffering,” and that is denial. The subject of death, or grief, or loss is something we prefer not to think about. It’s not easy to promote something to get people to face when they don’t want to. And grief and of course is because it’s very painful. People including me, I have things to do in preparation for after my death, with the funeral service suggestions that I want to make and with the ways that…well, I have take care of one issue. But it’s something which I delay and it’s in my box, but I never get to it, because it’s something that it’s easy to put off. There’s a French author, I think it’s Michel Desroches who wrote a book called “Détournements” and it’s the French word for diversions.

And in life we use a lot of diversions. We are heavy into sports, we are heavy into entertainment and movies and televisions, and everything helps us pass the time and diverts us from some of the real issues that face us such as health and illness, and death. We don’t even talk the word death anymore today. If you notice, we always say “passed away.” And one of the things I’m going to instruct my pastor, is to please indicate to the congregation that Gordon has died, that he has not simply passed on, or passed away, but that he is actually dead. And I feel quite strongly about that. I’ve worked with people to help them face their suffering and face their death with God’s strength. And I find that is the best way to help people.

I think the biggest lesson that I learned about that was from the book of Job about which I wrote. If you recall the story, Job was a magnificent success. And he had enterprises in every direction, large family. One day he lost it all. Well, what was it he had to learn? He had to learn, which he didn’t until the end of the book, that there are some things in life over which we have no control. And they’re truly tragic. We can think of natural disasters that come upon us: earthquakes, and tornadoes, and floods. And people have done nothing wrong, but they have to suffer and they have to go through these, there are times when we don’t have control over our own lives. And it’s something that is very difficult to live with, but if people can get their mind and heart around the fact that to control that is a lot, I can’t.

Pamela: Cannot control, yeah.

Gordon: That’s, I think, about the best they can do. So that when it happens and they realize, “Oh, that’s right. I remember now, somewhere somebody told me that you can’t control everything.”

Pamela: Explain to people, how do you go about transforming a tragedy in your life, especially when you’re so upset, you’re broken down, and, you know, you can’t see the light ahead of you. You can’t see God’s grace, nothing. So how do you transform that tragedy in your life?

Gordon: There are some things that we can do, some practical things we can do to prepare ourselves. And then I’ll answer the idea of transforming. For one thing, attend funerals. Somebody in your life dies, go to their memorial service. Go to their funeral. Go the visiting hours, if there’s visiting of the body. This is something which we tend to avoid. And we console ourselves with, “I want to remember them as they were. I don’t wanna see them dead.” But we have…and I grew up, my early days in ministry which I performed and attended many funerals. They were dead, they were in a casket in front of the church. And, yeah, it is painful, but that is something that a person can do because that’s part of life.

Visit the dying. You know somebody is critically ill, go to them in the hospital. Visit them at home. Kübler-Ross wrote a very important book on death and dying in ’60s and ’70s. And she says this, “When we care for the dying, they give us a gift.” The gift is the ability to accept your own death. So visit the dying and the critically ill. Listening to others’ pain is something that we can do too. Ordinarily, we wanna change the subject. Somebody starts to choke up and grief over the loss of a loved one and we wanna cheer them up. Instead what we can do is learn to listen to their pain, and say, “Honey, just talk to me. And I’m just gonna sit here and listen.” You don’t have to have loved one from the dead in order to comfort them, to help them. You do need to show that you care, and that you understand what they’re going through at least. So those are some things that we can do to prepare for our own tragedies when we depend on other people to come and support us.

Now, you mentioned about transforming tragedies, tragedy usually leaves us different than when we began the experience. Some people go down into bitterness because of what’s happened. And some people blame God, it’s a major source of atheism. “If God can allow children to die of cancer, I can’t believe in that kind of a God.” So they become very bitter and irreligious and reject a God who’s worshiped by the suffering that people go through.

On the other hand, a lot of people after they go through are transformed into a greater trust in God. And Job was bitter for much of his book. And the anger is that it’s palpable. He is just inconsolable, and the friends try and they try to reason with him and nothing works. I think Job is a good example of transformation because he comes to a new perspective on life, I mentioned earlier the struggle with control over life, and this was the import of the Lord’s message to Job at the end of the book, in which He confronts him with nature, with the clouds, with the rain, with ice, and snow, over which we have no control. He confronts Job with the animals who give birth and who die, and they are not in man’s prevue. They are completely apart from human beings. They have nothing to do with the city in which we live. And yet they live and they die. Learning that perspective, you know, we are divinely created but we’re also human and part of the natural world as well.

And then of course, there were the two huge chaos monsters over which Job has…and human beings have no control of: behemoth and Leviathan, reading in Job and with understanding can help to transform us through perspective that we begin to see our frailty, accept it, and then gain perspective. Leading the lives of Godly people can be a help to transform our own suffering, Bible characters who endured great difficulties and overcame them, faced difficult circumstances, with a positive attitude that they had to learn and be positive models for us. And then I would say social support. We need people. We cannot go through a tragedy on our own without people to talk to, to listen to us, people who understand, who care about us. And this was the matter of fact with Job’s experience, because he had three friends who didn’t understand everything, but who never left him. And so he was able to find them at the beginning, and yet they were there at the end as well as was his wife. So he had social support to those who…all of the ups and downs of his complains, for chapter after chapter.

And so I think social support is quite important: friends, family, church, small groups, neighbors. We have to learn to live with a new normal, the person is gone, or we’ve lost our home, I’ve lost my job. And so it takes time, and it takes support from others, and it may take some personal growth, inside as well, we are social creatures. I’ve been noticing how much horses are social creatures. And they kind of race together, you know, we got five or six horses and we have some not too far from where I live, you see them and they wanna keep an eye on each other and they feel comfortable being close with one another.

Pamela: And I think this is very important because in today’s world, people have just isolated themselves. In the sense they’re with their social media, or they’re with Facebook, or they’re with Twitter, but they have no real, you know, connections. So a lot of people are depressed, a lot of people are dealing with their own tragedies where they’re not seeking the comfort of their churches, or the social support. So I think social support is really something that people should look at more carefully.

Gordon: That’s a very good point. I’ve went in the mall a few months ago, and there’s a young man and this young woman were holding hands, and was on his cell phone texting. So that really got me as some truly as she was focused elsewhere.

Pamela: As we talk about this transformation, are there any steps to doing this transformation? Let’s say somebody is going through something really difficult, what are the steps that can take them through this transformation of their tragedy?

Gordon: Overcoming negative emotions is important. And you notice in my book, I identify Job’s depression in Chapter 3: He wants to die and he’s very angry with God, because of anger. He goes through fear, he has five major images of God as hostile to him. The arrows of the Almighty are in the…”My spirit drinks their poison.” And he sees God as an archer, and his body is pierced with poisoned arrows, and his life is seeping out. So he has to go through all of this very, very negative and painful emotions and finally gets to grieve. He doesn’t grieve until Chapter 29: And that’s over half the book. After 42 Chapters, and 28 divides the book in two, he doesn’t begin to grief. And very often that’s true with people, they feel angry, if you notice, some people will sue the doctor because the doctor operated on their loved ones, and the loved one didn’t survive, they blame the doctor. And it’s easier to get angry and focus all of your energy on the anger toward a specific person, than actually to simply grieve and let go, and realize that your loved one has gone and you could never done anything to change the outcome.

To grief is very difficult, but sometimes it comes later rather than right away. And of course, all of these feelings can be mixed up. So there’s not a clear-cut, step-by-step. I heard a little bit Kübler-Ross discuss her so-called, “Steps Toward Grief.” And she says there’s no such thing. Publishers referred me to put my ideas into some form which they could publish. But anger and denial and acceptance and depression are not something you bolt from one to the other and you never pull back. She said that herself, overcoming negative emotions, walking through the pain and not avoiding it is important in transformation. Maintaining social support. People can’t do anything and yet they’re very important. There’s been many times when I have sat with a person who lost their husband who was a pastor, and they poured out their heart at the funeral home or at their own home and after an hour of non-stop grieving, I have felt totally helpless, and what am I going to do to help this person? And they say, “Thank you so much. I don’t know what I would have done without you.” Well, I’ve helped them by listening, caring and sitting with them for a long period of time and hearing all the pain. Everything they can think of that’s so painful.

That’s take a little practice and a little training on my part, but it’s worth it to offer that kind of listening ear if you are a person that has some empathy naturally. So decide the time and let people pour out their heart. Maintaining a spiritual life, I think is important as a foundation towards transformation. It’s an important step because it gives you some stability. If you followed my book there’s a passage from Boethius, which is someone who lived many centuries ago, and tried to deal with suffering. The people at that time were dealing with slavery. Each culture would attack and control, and eventually enslave the next culture, death, plague. And he wrote this book in order to bring comfort to the Christians and he likened life to a big wheel, and at the center is God. And the closer we get to the center of the wheel to the heart, the less change there is, the less circular ups and downs of life. So maintaining a healthy spiritual life is that important, buttress against the vicissitudes of life, personal discipline in the word, a church, small group.

Pamela: Do you think people who have a spiritual life do better than people who don’t?

Gordon: Well, I think so. That’s kind of my own opinion. I certainly think that social support, you know, people who go to church also, they give a lot of social support because they’ve got a Bible study, they’ve got a prayer group, they’ve got a pastor, they’ve got elders when they learn, will come and support. So the spiritual life leads to a lot of just plain human contact and support at a time of crisis.

Pamela: Also, I wanted to ask because when I read your book, I was wondering why you picked Job. I mean, there are lots of people who’ve gone through plenty in the Bible. You’ve got Paul, and you’ve got Peter, and you’ve got Stephen, and you’ve got Jesus Himself. But why did you pick Job, of all the people that you could pick as an example of dealing with tragedy? Why did you pick him?

Gordon: Well, I’ve had a life-long love for the book of Job. In 1960 and 1961 I took a course at a Jewish university, Brandeis in Waltham, Massachusetts, and it got me onto the book of Job. I just got so excited especially reading it for myself. I just got so excited. Well, it just lay dormant for many decades, until I got a little encouragement from a friend. I gave a workshop on the book of Job at his church and a pastor friend said, “You need to write a book on Job.” I said, “No, no, no, I’m not…”

And after that… Anyway, one thing led to another and I retired from my counseling on ministry at Western in order to write. And, by the way, the book took me 12 years. So from 2003 to 2015, I was engaged 5 days a week, 3 hours a day in the library putting this together. Again, a life-long love for the book of Job, and it’s a difficult book, and I wanted to make the book understandable to modern readers today. The structure is complicated, and there are three friends, each of them gave a speech. Job responds after each speech. Then they do this three times. So it’s very complicated and it’s so easy to get lost. Each of the friends had a different perspective on Job’s suffering, although they share the one assumption that he’s done something wrong. But they also approach it in a different way.

The tone of the book is very argumentative and people don’t like to read something in which is just…they talk past each other, and they’re angry. Well, all those reasons people today I think just avoid the book of Job, they read a little bit at the beginning and the end. I wanted to make the whole book understandable. It’s much less well-known than say Jesus, or Paul, or Peter. And we have these 42 chapters for the book of Job. So that’s a sizable amount of material that seems to me needs dealing with. And then two, it has have such a powerful, compelling life story. The story in this case  is a compelling drama, this conflict with God, will he or won’t he? Is the big question in the book of Job, will he curse God and die, like his wife wanted, and like the Satan said he would, predicted he would, “If you take all away from him. He’ll curse you to your face.” Well, does he or doesn’t he? And the book has Job on the edge all the time. He’s just so close to doing that, and yet he never does.

And finally, the second calling experience of God, in which he unexpectedly meets God and God decides to confront him. And he had tried every trick, every means possible to bring God face-to-face with him, and to know well, and when he gets loved, then God speaks, it is not the way that God will work as well. We try human efforts to manipulate other people who love to manipulate circumstances, who control our life and nothing works. And when we give up and yield and surrender, then God moves it off the way in our life. So those are the reasons that it was a very personal choice on my part, basically, because I’ve had this life-long love since 1960, 1961 for the book of Job.

Pamela: Would you have any names of books that people could also can read if they want to do an additional commentary or study the book of Job?

Gordon: Let’s see. There’s a book by Habel, H-A-B-E-L in the Old Testament library series. It’s very scholarly, but it’s also very stimulating, 1981, that’s a one volume. But there’s another one by Wilson. It’s a little bit more popular. It’s a major commentary Gerald Wilson, New International Commentary, is based on the New International Version of the Bible. That would be good. It was Habel’s book that I read later that just turned me on to the book as well. And reawakened my love for the book of Job, there’s a three volume series of books by David Hines, [SP] which is, as you can imagine very technical, as Habel as well. And then the other book that affected me and stimulated me was a book by Jack Kahn, K-A-H-N he wrote the book, “Job’s Illness: loss, grief, and integration. A psychological interpretation.” That’s the book that gave me the idea of a progression or a transformation, or the change in Job. Usually if you look at the book it’s talking about, without seeing Job’s movement through all… I’ll give you one good example, at the beginning of Job talking with his friends, he talks about, He, meaning God. He, He, He, he explains around I think is Chapter 9, he changed the person dramatically from He to you. Now, some people have interpreted this as prayers. Well, they’re not really prayers in the technical sense, they are addressed to God, but the same anger is there. And they’re not worship…anyway, that gives you an idea that Job is not static. That the process of talking with friends brings about changes within him, and leads him through these kind of negative stages which I mentioned. So those are the major books I would…

Pamela: Tell us a little bit about your own book. Because I read the book and there’s so much of personal stuff in it. You know, your own personal experiences, your own personal tragedies. So tell us a little bit about your book. Where people can find you if they wanna contact you, what do they do?

Gordon: I had a personal motive as well, in all of these writing. And that is my son and daughter-in-law have been treating chronic illness for over 30 years. And it’s been very tragic. They’re both highly talented people. Musically they were both graduates of The Wilton Conservatory of Music in college, and yet have been, as far as life is concerned, on the shelf. So I began the book with first experience of being confronted with our daughter-in-law’s illness, which changed our son’s life and changed our lives as well. So there’s a personal motive for wanting to get their names and their story into people’s minds, and so that they not be forgotten. And that their lives mean something. Julie’s father has also written a book about them. And so we’ve been able to devote our time to helping people be aware of their lives and be a witness of Christ during this time.

Yeah, it’s available on, amazon.com in both paper and in eBook. Or I have a website tragedytransformed.com which is…I have a blog that I write for regularly, www.gordongrose.com, that’s my name G-O-R-D-O-N, G-R-O-S-E.com. And I deal with subjects related to the book of Job, and related to hope, addiction, recovery, hope in death and dying, and hope in mental illness. I’m on Google Plus, Gordon Grose. I’m on Facebook.

Pamela: Any last words that you have for people who are dealing with tragedies?

Gordon: Sure. When I wanted to write the book, I wrote it in a way which lays out the story of Job according to how we experience life, and I made it in a way that people can grasp because we go through these experiences and stages. It’s not exactly the way the book of Job itself is laid out. So it should appeal to people. The chapters begin with the story of somebody I interviewed, a number of people with different experiences. I have a story about a lady in Chapter 8 who lost her husband suddenly through an automobile accident, who fell asleep at the wheel.

I have a story in Chapter 6 I think it is, of a former client, a mental health client, who was very, very disturbed and who gave me permission to write his story in my book. And when I preached my last sermon at my home church, I called and invited him, and he was there. So that was very exciting. But that deals with mental illness. I have a story of a man who went through depression after he lost his wife and he lost his job the same year. He wanted to die, he tried to, he planned it, he rehearsed it, and what happened to him, a natural disaster, and I have my own son and daughter-in law’s story as well, the beginning of it. Each chapter begins with a story of someone I interviewed, and then ends with self-help suggestion how we can work through these painful experiences, and in the middle, of course, I deal with Job and his similar life experience.

And I hope that the book will be a handbook of healing to help them navigate that private [SP] and hope it would even accelerate their healing, their recovery and their coming out the other side of the grief. So I’m hopeful that the book will have a healing effect on people, and bring them hope and encouragement, bring them closer to a personal experience with God, if they don’t already have it. And if they do, it will draw them closer, even so.

Pamela: So thank you so much Gordon for, you know, spending time and talking about this.

Gordon: I welcome the response from people as they hear me, and as they perhaps are motivated to read the book for themselves.

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