Tabitha Vohn's Blog - Posts Tagged "fanfiction"
Buffy
What I loved about you
a second secret skin
how you knew
eventually
you’d lose him
but loved him anyway
He asked, “Are you still my girl?”
You said, “Always.”
Hearts held impossibility
like fingers tangled in each others
hair like palms anchored in
holy water his presence
a constant burning
you forgave the marks
his teeth left
his metallic knowledge
within your veins
forgetting the way
you glowed in him
forgetting
how many times you
saved him
grown insubstantial as
shadows in the black
trench coat that turned
towards the moon and
turned towards you
just before your light
became a casket door
to close
a home to walk out on
You tried warmer arms
like sample drugs
sharper teeth
made passionate
distractions of enemies
fooled yourself into
sympathy pains for
ones you convinced
yourself you craved
them
misshapen puzzle pieces
scraping against the tender
edges of his heart-space
The Truth
shape-shifted
into something you didn’t
want to recognize
That it was never the demons
or vampires
witches’ spells
wrathful goddesses
or harbingers of death
that had the power
to break you.
Only love
Could do that.
a second secret skin
how you knew
eventually
you’d lose him
but loved him anyway
He asked, “Are you still my girl?”
You said, “Always.”
Hearts held impossibility
like fingers tangled in each others
hair like palms anchored in
holy water his presence
a constant burning
you forgave the marks
his teeth left
his metallic knowledge
within your veins
forgetting the way
you glowed in him
forgetting
how many times you
saved him
grown insubstantial as
shadows in the black
trench coat that turned
towards the moon and
turned towards you
just before your light
became a casket door
to close
a home to walk out on
You tried warmer arms
like sample drugs
sharper teeth
made passionate
distractions of enemies
fooled yourself into
sympathy pains for
ones you convinced
yourself you craved
them
misshapen puzzle pieces
scraping against the tender
edges of his heart-space
The Truth
shape-shifted
into something you didn’t
want to recognize
That it was never the demons
or vampires
witches’ spells
wrathful goddesses
or harbingers of death
that had the power
to break you.
Only love
Could do that.
Jen Lindley
***Shout out to everyone who grew up with Dawson and the gang on the Creek***
Sweet Jen
sweet sweet Jen
You and I would have
been best friends
that sister love you
always wanted but
Joey, Andy, and Audrey
fell short of
(and don't get me started
on Abby Morgan)
You
were a fresh breeze
over the creek
You were a mirror
I could see my fate through
if things had gone a different
way
At your core was compassion
You saw beauty in the most
abstract of places
in the broken
rejected
and when apple green eyes could
not see past the black wool of
the yesterdays they never let
you forget you combed through
those tangled matted labels
You were a phoenix
told them in the kindest way to
go to hell
keep their ashes
You knew the cold truth
of friends and loved ones who
could not look past the pain to
see the wounds
I cry every time you show up on
Jack's door and say "I may
have been wrong
but what you're doing to me right now
is killing me and say what you want about
me but I would never be this cruel to
anyone and especially not to you"
I'm paraphrasing of course but
sister, I reached for you
on the other
side of that mirror
having tasted the bitterness
more than once
of un-forgiveness
or maybe just cruelty
from the ones I depended on the most
that same cruelty
you felt again a year later when Jack
discarded you like outgrown shoes
this boy
who called you sister
this boy
you took into your home
whose greatest fear he once
confessed to you
"I'm afraid I'll never love someone
as much as I love you"
turned out to be true
but only after
Years
of abandonment
of stretching that soulmate tether as
far as it would go
You always took him back
and when you died you gave him
your daughter
A girl
and a boy
who never knew each other as lovers
but loved each other like family
Man, Jack did not deserve you
He needed you and
you needed
to be needed
and so
I gaze through the mirror at you
feeling the tug of my own
kindred spirit tether
hoping happy endings don't
only exist in fiction
Jen
it pisses me off to no end
that they killed you
Did the writers know that your death
would be the most tragic because it
was the least deserving?
You broke my heart again
with the poise
and resignation of a princess
leaving a peasant's party
because she was never really
welcome and didn't belong
there anyway
You who were always third wheel
to the people you loved the most
Jen Lindley
I look through the mirror
and see what might have been
if things had gone differently
Jen
sweet sweet Jen
You were nothing short of a
heroine to me.
Sweet Jen
sweet sweet Jen
You and I would have
been best friends
that sister love you
always wanted but
Joey, Andy, and Audrey
fell short of
(and don't get me started
on Abby Morgan)
You
were a fresh breeze
over the creek
You were a mirror
I could see my fate through
if things had gone a different
way
At your core was compassion
You saw beauty in the most
abstract of places
in the broken
rejected
and when apple green eyes could
not see past the black wool of
the yesterdays they never let
you forget you combed through
those tangled matted labels
You were a phoenix
told them in the kindest way to
go to hell
keep their ashes
You knew the cold truth
of friends and loved ones who
could not look past the pain to
see the wounds
I cry every time you show up on
Jack's door and say "I may
have been wrong
but what you're doing to me right now
is killing me and say what you want about
me but I would never be this cruel to
anyone and especially not to you"
I'm paraphrasing of course but
sister, I reached for you
on the other
side of that mirror
having tasted the bitterness
more than once
of un-forgiveness
or maybe just cruelty
from the ones I depended on the most
that same cruelty
you felt again a year later when Jack
discarded you like outgrown shoes
this boy
who called you sister
this boy
you took into your home
whose greatest fear he once
confessed to you
"I'm afraid I'll never love someone
as much as I love you"
turned out to be true
but only after
Years
of abandonment
of stretching that soulmate tether as
far as it would go
You always took him back
and when you died you gave him
your daughter
A girl
and a boy
who never knew each other as lovers
but loved each other like family
Man, Jack did not deserve you
He needed you and
you needed
to be needed
and so
I gaze through the mirror at you
feeling the tug of my own
kindred spirit tether
hoping happy endings don't
only exist in fiction
Jen
it pisses me off to no end
that they killed you
Did the writers know that your death
would be the most tragic because it
was the least deserving?
You broke my heart again
with the poise
and resignation of a princess
leaving a peasant's party
because she was never really
welcome and didn't belong
there anyway
You who were always third wheel
to the people you loved the most
Jen Lindley
I look through the mirror
and see what might have been
if things had gone differently
Jen
sweet sweet Jen
You were nothing short of a
heroine to me.
One of the Reasons I Love Charlotte Eriksson
"I was younger then and easily fooled
and the ocean was deep and dark and blue
and I took off my shoes to let the water freeze my bones.
I waded until I could no longer walk and it was too cold to swim but
still I kept on walking at the bottom of the sea for I could not tell the
difference between the ocean and the lack of someone I loved and I
had not yet learned how the task of moving on is a muscular task,
a skill you need to learn,
as necessary as survival." (Eriksson, 12)
--from I Go to the Ocean to Say Goodbye
P.S.
If the choice is to move on
or not survive,
I'd rather be food
for the fishes
than to
love you
or miss you
less
than I do
in this moment <3
and the ocean was deep and dark and blue
and I took off my shoes to let the water freeze my bones.
I waded until I could no longer walk and it was too cold to swim but
still I kept on walking at the bottom of the sea for I could not tell the
difference between the ocean and the lack of someone I loved and I
had not yet learned how the task of moving on is a muscular task,
a skill you need to learn,
as necessary as survival." (Eriksson, 12)
--from I Go to the Ocean to Say Goodbye
P.S.
If the choice is to move on
or not survive,
I'd rather be food
for the fishes
than to
love you
or miss you
less
than I do
in this moment <3
