Matthew Kadish's Blog: Matthew Kadish's Evil Hive Mind Blog, page 10

More Progress On The Secret Army (Earthman Jack Book 2 Update)

The writing continues…

The chapters keep flowing for The Secret Army, which is very encouraging.  I’ve recently gotten a few emails from fans asking about the book, and some new 5 star reviews for The Ghost Planet on Amazon, all of which encourage me to keep writing.  I always get inspiration from people who enjoy my writing and want more!  Thus is the way my enormously over-inflated ego operates.  Ha ha ha.

I’ve started consolidating all the various scenes I’ve written for the book into a single word file.  I tend to write scenes and save them in their own files as the inspiration hits me, and there were getting to be a LOT of files I had to keep track of, so I decided it was time to start putting them in order.  When I copied these scenes into the master draft, I was shocked to see I already had over 100 manuscript pages written – and that’s just from the beginning!  I haven’t even added the scenes I’ve written from the middle and the end of the story yet.  I’m starting to wonder just how many pages I actually have written by now, and I’m estimating that it could actually be anywhere from 150-200 pages.

My mom, who is also my loving editor and self-proclaimed biggest fan, was sure to tell me not to make this book “too long” when I spoke to her on the phone today.  Some people have criticized The Ghost Planet for being too long of a book.  Honestly, I don’t understand that criticism.  Personally, I love long books (well, as long as they’re entertaining.  If they’re boring, not so much).  I am writing space opera here, so the books are GONNA be thick!  The Ghost Planet was essentially 3 books collected in one volume so as to tell a complete story.  I’d set out to write something that was meant to be a big, epic tale, so I see the length of the book as reflecting that.

My response to my mother is that I’m not going to edit myself at this stage of the game.  The story will be as long as it needs to be for me to tell the tale I want to tell.  Once the rough draft is completed, that is when I’ll start going through and figuring out what can be cut.  These big tales can be problematic because certain things which may not seem important to the reader early on can come into play in the series at a later time, and need to be properly set up.  So an editor or reader who doesn’t know where the story is headed might be able to say “this should be cut,” but I say “no, that needs to be in there for something in book 5 to make sense.”

So it is definitely a fine line to walk.  I don’t write big books just for the sake of making them big.  I write to tell a story, and sometimes, that story requires lots of pages.  The Secret Army could very well end up being longer than The Ghost Planet.  I have no idea at this point.  All I know is that I’m having fun writing it, and enjoying the time I’m spending with the characters at the moment.  Seeing the story start to take form and begin its metamorphosis into an actual novel is truly exhilarating, and I cannot wait to get it finished so that others can read it.

The chapter I’ve been spending the most time on recently is what I’m calling the “Grand Hall” chapter.  This is where Jack is attending a state dinner in his honor, and is being introduced to the various races of the Regalus Empire.  It’s an extremely long and complicated chapter – so much so that I’m actually probably going to end up dividing it into two separate chapters.  Lots of important characters and different aspects of the universe I’m building are introduced here, and I’m trying to make sure it’s interesting and entertaining as opposed to being one big infodump.  So far, I’m very happy with it, as it’s shaping up to be lots of fun to both write and read (I’ve probably read through it about 50 times by now).

The Grand Hall is also the part of the book I get to introduce the character of Kimlee Evenstar, someone who is going to play a big role in the series, and who will be quite an influence on Jack.  Whether that influence is a good one or a bad one remains to be seen though.  Kimlee has an interesting backstory, and her first scene with Jack has been a blast to write.  Hopefully others will enjoy it as much as I do.

And just as Kimlee impacts Jack’s life, there’s another character named Mourdock Skyborn who has a major impact on Anna’s life as well. Book 2 is going to heavily feature the dynamic between Jack, Anna, Kimlee, and Mourdock, and how these four characters interact with one another.  Both Kimlee and Mourdock have important roles to play in the story going forward, and I’m looking forward to seeing reader reaction to both of them.

I’m also proud to say I’ve completed the Introduction, as well as Chapters 1 & 2.  I probably struggled the most with figuring out how I was going to start this book off, but once I finalized a concept I’d been toying with for the last part of the book, an idea for the beginning came into place that I really liked, and that’s what I went with.  I feel the first 1/3 of the book is very close to being done, and will probably be the thing I wrap up soonest.

So there you all go, my two fans who check my blog!  (Hi mom!)  Yet another update.  I’m happy to say I think I’m still on target for finishing the first draft of The Secret Army by the end of April/beginning of May.  Then the editing and rewriting shall start.  Regardless, things are moving along nicely!  If any of you wish to comment here or email me words of encouragement, please feel free to do so.  Sometimes, hearing from readers can really help tear me away from my Youtube addiction and start getting busy writing again.  Ha ha ha.

The Secret Army Is Rising!!!! (Earthman Jack Book #2 Update)

Hello party people,

I wanted to hop on my painfully un-updated blog and give anyone who cares (all two of you – hi mom!) a quick status update on book 2 of the Earthman Jack Space Saga, that being Earthman Jack vs. The Secret Army.

Pretty much since Book 1 was released to the masses last July, I’ve been fleshing out the next 6 books in the series, trying to figure out their individual plots and how they all relate to each other.  When I first came up with the concept for this series all the way back in the year 2000 (or was it 1999?  I honestly can’t remember anymore), I had jotted down some ideas for a whole series of books chronicling Jack’s space adventures.  I’ve used those exceptionally old notes as the basis for the seven books in the series, but adjusted them so that though each book can read as a stand-alone adventure, they’re all part of a much larger and cohesive tale.

The first two months of this year were spent focusing on the outline for The Secret Army, even though I’ve been working on it since last summer off-and-on, along with the other 5 yet-to-be-written books in the series.  But it’s gotten to the point where I really felt the need to hammer down the plot of book 2, and I’m happy to say it’s been a success.  January and February have given me a really solid outline to follow.  There are still a few gaps here and there, particularly in the middle part of the book, but I’m confident I can fill those gaps pretty easily as I get to them, since I essentially know what needs to go there, I just have to figure out the details.

Already my Muse has showed up with her bags in tow and has unexpectedly moved in, forcing me to write a plethora of scenes as the inspiration struck me.  The ending of the book is pretty much written and done, and various awesome scenes from the beginning having been written as well.  Right now, all my writings are in separate files, waiting to be compiled into a more organized book form.  By my estimates, I’ve probably got close to 50 or 60 manuscript pages already written, and as I tighten up and finalize my outline, the writing should flow pretty easily.  Right now, I feel I am on target to have the book ready to be released in July as I had planned for it to be, with March and April devoted to writing time, and May and June devoted to rewriting, editing, and preparation for release.  Of course, if I feel I need more time to perfect the book and put some finishing touches on, I reserve the right to delay its release.  But as of right now, I am totally focused on a July 4th weekend release, just as I had with The Ghost Planet.

In terms of the plot of The Secret Army, I was a little bit worried that it might not end up being as exciting as the plot to book one, since it’s a bit more heavy on the “intrigue” and a little less “Holy cow, aliens are trying to kill us!”.  Boy, oh boy, was I wrong about that!  The adventure Jack and his friends face in book 2 is going to be just as fun and exciting as book 1 was, I’m happy to say.  It’s a very different adventure, because we have a new setting, new villains, and a ton of new characters who enter the mix, but I’m excited about the twists and turns as I’m writing it, which bodes well for the reader experiencing the same thing when they read it.

A big thing for me is to make sure every character has an important role to play in the story.  I’ve struggled with coming up with what part each of our main characters will have in the plot of book two, but I believe I’ve resolved all that now.  Jack, Scallywag, Grohm, Heckubus, Professor Green, and Anna all have their own subplots that feed into each other, as well as some new characters that I can’t wait to introduce you all to.  No matter who your favorite character from book 1 is, they will have an active and important role to play in book 2, I can promise you that.

Not only will readers get more awesomeness from the returning characters, book 2 will introduce the reader into the larger “Earthman Jack Universe,” along with all types of aliens and sci-fi technology.  I’ve worked hard to try and come up with unique elements to this universe that will hopefully capture people’s imaginations.  It’s hard being original, let me tell you!  But for those of you who were kinda bummed out that we spent so much time on Earth in the first book, worry no longer!  Everything in book 2 is going to be strange and exotic to Jack, as he discovers he’s truly “not in Kansas anymore.” (Or in his case, Ohio.)  I really wanted to capture the feeling of walking into the Mos Eisley Cantina in Star Wars and seeing all those crazy alien creatures, so that was my inspiration in writing the scenes where we get to see all the various alien races of the Regalus Empire.  Some will be humorous, some will be serious, but all of them will be interesting!

As I progress I will try and stop back here to throw another update on the ol’ blog.  Though I doubt anyone actually reads this dang thing, sometimes posting an update helps me to keep track of my own progress, so it definitely assists in keeping me focused. 

Anyway, back to work!  This book ain’t gonna write itself (unfortunately)!

A Not-So-Quick (Yet Still Infrequent) Update…

Greetings minions!  (you know who you are)

It’s been a while since I’ve written a blog post, and you’re probably wondering why.  (And if you’re not wondering, you should be, darn it!)  Frankly, I have no other excuse than I’m a lazy sot who’d rather sit his fat butt down in front of a TV than write a blog post.  How guys like Hugh Howey write novels AND a biajillion (it’s a number) blog posts a day is beyond me.  But, I figured it was time to give you all a “state of the union” address as to what I’ve been up to, and what’s going on with Earthman Jack and the sequel, Earthman Jack 2: Electric Boogaloo (it’s not really called that).

On the Personal Front:  I had a great holiday with the family on the East Coast, and got out of town right before the big cold snap hit.  Perfect timing, right?  I am now back in Las Vegas where the weather is an exceptionally chilly 60 degrees.  *buuuuurrrrrrrrr*  I’ve taken a bit of a break from updating my Facebook page because I was spending WAY too much time on Facebook, sadly, which was taking away from my ability to… you know… write stuff.  Maybe I’ll get back into it next month, but I had to ween myself away from updating my feed so I could focus on actually getting things done.  Unfortunately, my Facebook addiction quickly got replaced by a Hearthstone addiction.  It’s a computer card game by Blizzard, the makers of World of Warcraft.  It’s kinda like a cross between Poker and Chess, and I’ve been playing it WAY too much.  As of right now, I need to find a Hearthstone support group to help me break my habit.  lol.

I’ve been noticing some pre-diabetes complications lately, which has spurred me to adopt a low-sugar, alkaline heavy diet, so I’m trying to adjust to that – though taking sugar out of your life makes you (read: me) kinda a grumpy guss.  My dad and both grandparents had diabetes, and I’m also a prime candidate for it, so I want to keep that at bay if I can.  It’s definitely affected my mood, as depression and sloth are apparently side-effects (well, depression anyway).  So that has made it hard for me to get anything accomplished, which includes cleaning my house, personal hygiene, and facilitating world peace.  Beyond that, both me and my dog have dental appointments coming up.  She goes in soon to get her teeth cleaned, and I go in next month to get some cavities treated and a crown put on a tooth (fun, fun!).  The only bright side to that is my new dentist knows how to hire lovely dental assistants for his office.  I’m sure having your teeth drilled by attractive women is a fetish somewhere (most likely in Japan).

I’m also happy to announce that I’m pulling in roughly $700 a month in book sales, which is awesome.  I’m hoping I can pump that up to $1,000 a month soon.  My goal is $2500/month, so I can basically consider that a full-time living.  It’s not much, but hey, I’ve only got a handful of books out right now.  Hopefully I can achieve my goal of $60k a year on book sales so I can officially call myself a full-time author and never have to worry about going into an office and wearing a suit and tie ever again.

On the Writing Front:  So my goal this year is to get at least 5 new novels out.  This may seem low, because there are other authors out there who churn out novels on an insane basis.  However, I don’t work that way.  I’m a bit of a perfectionist, so I like to take my time and make sure my work is the best it can possibly be before I release it, so conservatively, I think I can pump out 5 novels this year that I can be proud of.  Last year, I released 5 – Earthman Jack, and the 4 books in the Cathouse series.  Though, technically I only wrote the 4 Cathouse novels in 2013.  Earthman Jack was written over the course of 2009-2013 (if I remember correctly, though I could be off).  So I’m not really counting it for 2013.

Over the holidays, I wrote about 100 pages of a new mystery novel that sprung into my head.  It’s nowhere near being done, but it’s off to a good start.  I also finished the first issue of a new Modern Dark Fantasy series I’ll be working on called A Memory Of Hours.  However, I’m not sure when I’ll be releasing that, since I feel I might want to wait until I can focus more time on the follow up issues.  Just to give you all an idea, the “first act” of the five-act arc of the series is planned to have between 12-13 issues in it.  Issue 1 was close to 80 manuscript pages, which will probably translate into approximately 120 pages once it’s formatted.  That tale is going to be HUGE, so I don’t want to release just one issue then have a ton of time pass until I get around to the second one.

My muse also poked me on another idea I had for a series called The Infinite Brian Bell.  I wrote down some ideas for that, and the concept has been kicking around in my brain lately.  I don’t know what will become of it, but I’m jotting down notes for the future.  I’ve also got a book about competitive BBQ cooking, a book about video gamers, and a book about an extreme fighter in the works.  All three have a few pages and notes I’ve written for them, and ideally I’d like to get them all written this year in addition to my mystery novel, since they are all one-offs as opposed to a series.  Writing one-offs is way more appealing to me because it allows me to get those ideas out of my head and focus more on my series.

I also have a couple chapters of a Voodoo Action Buddy-Cop Mystery written.  It’s a good candidate for getting finished this year as well.  It could be a one-off, but also has a potential to be a series.  Honestly, I need to only tackle one series at a time, because having too many running just gets maddening (for both me and the readers, I’m sure).

On the Earthman Jack vs. The Ghost Planet Front:  Lots of cool stuff going on there.  We currently have 108 reviews on Amazon, 95% of which are 4-5 stars, which is awesome.  I love reading the reviews of people who enjoyed the book and got what I was going for!  Over the holidays, I donated 30 books to 3 different children’s hospitals, and apparently they were a big hit.  The administrators gave them out to the kids who wanted them, so they were able to go on an imaginary intergalactic adventure while in the hospital.  I think it’s important to give back like that, since I wrote the novel for kids to have their imaginations run wild.  Ideally, I’d like to donate some copies to the troops overseas, but I haven’t found a way to do that just yet.  If any of you know of a way to do this, please email me.

And yes, Earthman Jack vs. the Ghost Planet is in paperback now, so you can get both the ebook and the hard copy if you desire.  I did have a big setback when the artist I hired to illustrate the novel had to back out because his mother got sick, and I haven’t been able to find someone I like, who I can afford, to replace him.  To those who donated money to me on the initial release of Earthman Jack, I haven’t forgotten about you!  I’ll be sending you all autographed copies of the book to make up for the non-illustrated nature of it.  Just give me a bit of time as I plan it out.  So many family friends requested books over the holidays, I got kinda swamped with that.

The most recent big review of the book is from the site “The Review Hutch,” which gave the book a glowing review, and it made me really happy to read it.  But the big-big news is that I was able to get both USA Today and The Washington Post to request review copies.  Does this mean they will actually review the book?  No.  But there is a CHANCE they’ll publish a review of it, and that could be huge.  So here’s keeping our fingers crossed *crosses fingers*.  If any of you out there want to be awesome and email review sites or your local newspaper to check out my book, please do so.  Every review helps, and I’m happy to give away free review copies.

I’m also going to be scheduling some appearances at conventions this year to try to give the book more exposure to the sci-fi/geek community.  At present, I’m trying to schedule tables at Comicon (both in Las Vegas and San Diego), Dragon Con, and the Star Trek Convention, among others.  So if any of you go to those, be sure to stop by my table and say hi.  I’ll be selling copies of the book, as well as autographing them and being an all-around amazing guy.  I haven’t officially booked anything yet, but it’s in the works.  Once I have the official slate down, I’ll post it on here.

Earthman Jack vs. The Ghost Planet also got accepted into Bookbub for a special $0.99 promotion.  The ebook version is currently on sale for $3.99, but will be $0.99 for February 23rd to March 1st.  I hear good things about Bookbub, but apparently their Sci-Fi list isn’t as big as their Mystery or Romance lists, but we’ll see how it goes.  I’m hoping I could get at least 1,000 new downloads from it.

Finally, my big focus this year is going to be to get the book into bookstores.  I was able to get Earthman Jack included in the Ingram Catalog, so bookstores can order it wholesale at a 55% discount.  Ingram is the biggest book wholesaler in the United States, and Barns & Noble, as well as everyone else, uses them.  If you want to help out, go to your local bookstore and ask them if they can order copies.  Otherwise, I’ll be on the phone a lot pitching my book to bookstore managers.

On The Earthman Jack vs. The Secret Army Front:  For those of you interested in the sequel, know that I am working on it.  I’m still in the outline phase, however.  My writing process is kinda weird, because I get inspired with little vignettes and then try to piece them together to form a complete story.  I know the broad-strokes of how the story will play out (how it begins, the middle, how it ends, etc.).  Now I’m filling in the smaller details, and once I get those worked out, I can craft an actual scene-by-scene outline and then get to writing.  I actually have probably 30 pages of the book written at the moment as I write scenes when inspiration strikes, but they’re completely disjointed at the moment.  As usual, I tend to write the ending first, so the actual climax of book 2 is done (albeit in rough form.  It will most likely change when writing starts in earnest, but probably not by much).

One of the things that slows me down with big books like the EJ Saga is that I come up with obstacles or puzzles for the narrative that I then have to figure out good solutions to.  It’s kinda like pondering a really complex riddle.  It can take a long time to figure out.  I actually had a HUGE issue with book 2 that I couldn’t quite wrap my brain around, and then yesterday, the solution just hit me out of nowhere.  Now that I figured out that one little riddle, the outlining process is chugging along again.  I feel I have a good handle on how book 2 is going to play out now, as the over-all outline is starting to come together little by little.

I always find that knowing what you’re going to write before you actually start writing it makes for a better story.  Some authors out there claim that this way of writing stalls creativity in the writing process, but I tend to disagree.  There is no difference in being creative when writing the outline and when writing the actual book.  The only real difference is that it’s easier to change and adjust an outline than it is entire chapters of written material.  I could just start writing EJvSA and see where it takes me, but I feel it will be a better book (and far easier for me, considering the scope of it) if I plan it out beforehand.  I think too many authors overlook the importance of plotting.  They just write stuff, and then, after they’ve finished, they realize they have huge plot holes, undeveloped characters and subplots, and lots of boring action that does nothing to advance the main story.  I see this all the time when I read indy novels.

To me, having an outline is vital to crafting a well-written story, which is why I spend a lot of time doing it.  I write pretty quickly, so if I know what I need to write, it makes it even quicker.  My goal is to have EJ2 ready to go by July/August of this year (but don’t hold me to that).  You can still be creative as you write, because if you get a new idea or get inspired, you can adjust your outline as needed pretty easily, rather than discarding entire chapters you spend hours/days/weeks working on.  I often hear of authors throwing away entire chapters when rewriting, and I just can’t imagine that.  I don’t think I’ve ever deleted entire chapters from my work (probably because I always outline and figure out what chapters are needed before I start writing).

I’m hoping to have a finalized outline by the end of February, and start writing in earnest come March.  I’ve actually been having a ton of fun coming up with crazy ideas and plot twists that will be happening in book 2, and I’m really looking forward to writing it and seeing how all these plot threads I’ve been mulling over develop.  So far, Jack, Anna, and Heckubus are pretty solid, but Grohm, Green, and Scallywag still need to be worked out.  Each character has their own plot thread in this book, which all end up converging in the end, so it’s very important that I figure them all out before I start writing to ensure all six are interesting and fun to read.  Nothing’s worse than having a dull subplot in a book, and I want to try to avoid that if at all possible.

You’ll be seeing a lot more sci-fi stuff in book 2 as well.  In addition to all the plotting, I’m also working hard on worldbuilding elements, so book 2 will introduce the audience to the Regal Empire, a lot of it’s history, its politics, and it’s alien races and cultures – not to mention technology.  This is probably the most time consuming part of writing this series, because it’s so important to all 7 books to have a clearly defined universe.  Book 2 is going to set this up and expand upon what was hinted at in book 1, and each book afterwards then builds upon what is established in book 2.  I’m also fleshing out the outlines for books 3-7 as I go.  In fact, I’ve actually written the end of book 7 already.  I did that now so that as I go about plotting the rest of the series, I have a great idea of what I’m building toward.  I gotta admit, I got teary-eyed as I wrote the epic climax of all 7 books before I even started book 2, lol.  But I think the whole series will be stronger for it in the end.  (And of course, I can always adjust the ending as needed as the other books get written, but I’m pretty darn happy with how it is now.)

So there you have it, friends!  A not-so-quick infrequent update from your (favorite?) author.  As always, I love to hear from you all, so feel free to post your comments here.  If enough people start commenting on my posts, I might blog more often.  lol.

Hugs! xxoo

How To Write A Great Short Story That Won’t Make People Hate You

Yes, I am posting yet another high-minded rant about writing.  If any of you have read my post on how to write blurbs for your books, then you’ll know that I like to show off how smart, amazing, handsome, brilliant, talented, and humble I am by sharing hard-learned lessons about writing which I hope other writers will then absorb and sing my praises about.

I recently agreed to be part of an anthology of short Science Fiction stories for a writer’s group I’m a part of on Facebook.  The anthology is called “A World of Worlds,” and its focus is on short stories of science fiction and fantasy that showcase worlds other than Earth.  It’s a cool concept, with each short story meant to detail the exploration, history, and epic goings on of strange and miraculous planets from the imagination of various types of writers.

My entry to this anthology is called “The Secret Signal.”  It is a sci-fi adventure with a strong mystery at its core.  It is also the shortest story I’ve ever written, since the word-count limit for the anthology is 6,000 words or less.  However, despite the limit on my genius, I felt I was able to turn in a story that was complete and fitting for the anthology, and I’m dang proud of it.  So proud of it, in fact, that I might add to it and create a novella that will eventually be published to stand on its own.

But I digress… the purpose of this essay is actually to talk about what makes a good short story (at least in my humble, yet expert, opinion).  I’ve had the privilege of some in my writer’s group critiquing my story and giving me some excellent feedback.  I’ve also had the opportunity to critique the stories of others.  Though each story I got to read was great in its own way, I found a number of common issues that I ran across in all of them that needed to be addressed (at least in my humble, yet expert, opion).

And these aren’t just issues with these particular authors.  I actually see these problems in full-length novels as well.  I don’t know if these common problems stem from a lack of “meta awareness” or a misunderstanding of narrative devices.  But they seem to exist A LOT, and I felt it was my duty as Mr. Smarty Pants of the Universe to address them.

Thus, I am sharing my guidelines to writing a great short story in this post.  This doesn’t mean your short story will be a Pulitzer Prize winner if you follow them.  It just means people won’t hate you for feeling they wasted their time reading your little missive.  I feel readers have too vast of a preference pool to really say “you must do this to get people to like your short,” but these concepts are general enough to please the widest audience possible, and also relate to stories outside of Sci-Fi and Fantasy.

So without further ado, here are 6 tips to writing a great short story:

1.  Short Stories Must Have A Purpose

When I worked in Hollywood, it was very hard to get noticed.  Unless you’d actually made a movie, people didn’t know who you were, and thus, it was hard to find a job.  Filmmakers coming out of film school would turn to short films as a method of crafting “calling cards” that could showcase their skills and get them work.

Calling Cards were essentially 5-15 minute movies that you could submit to producers to show your skills as a director.  The reason behind this is that Producers are too busy to sit through an entire feature length film from a nobody.  However, they would be willing to sit through something that was short as a way of giving you a chance to impress them.

I feel short stories are the same beast.  Many readers, especially on Amazon, Barns & Noble, etc., are shopping for feature-length novels (yet another reason why anthologies are a good idea, since a number of short stories adds up to a full novel).  In this respect, I see them very much like the Hollywood Producers.  They’re looking for something you might be able to offer them, you just need to convince them to take a chance.

Aside from the fact that writers may see short fiction as a literary exercise, I see it as more of a marketing exercise.  To me, a short story should be a “calling card” to get readers to want to check out an author’s larger body of work.  One just has to look at Hugh Howey, and how his short story WOOL spawned a hugely successful sci-fi series that catapulted him into bestseller territory.

If you look at WOOL as a case study for short fiction, you’ll see it does so many things right.  But the thing it did the most was tell readers that Hugh Howey was a great author deserving of their attention.  And in this respect, I feel every short story is meant to hook readers into wanting to read more of an author’s works.

All too often, we see writers who use short stories as a way to continue larger stories (“offshoots” I believe they’re called), or explore ideas and concepts that they’re unsure how to work into longer stories.  Many authors see short fiction as a waste of time, or too difficult because they don’t want to be restricted in how much they can write.

But a well crafted short story can be published on its own, in magazines and periodicals, and get far more exposure than a feature length novel of 200+ pages.  The reason for this is that they are quick to read.  Readers don’t have to commit a lot of time or energy to it.  If the story sucks, they shrug and move on.  If the story is amazing, they’re left breathless and wanting more, and will then seek out longer work.

The point here is, it is important to see every short story as a calling card that is meant to draw in new readers to an author’s fanbase.  Thus, all short stories need to be structured and written with the goal of engaging and wowing the reader, to encourage them to read other works.  I know some writers will disagree with this notion, claiming artistic integrity means the only goal should be to satisfy the author.  But to that I say – poo poo.

A wise film professor of mine once told me that a movie no one ever sees isn’t a movie, it’s an exercise.  I feel the same is true about books.  Books no one ever reads aren’t really books, they’re exercises in writing.  If your short story does not get you more readers, followers, and fans, then it is simply a writing exercise and not professional literature.

So make sure when you sit down to write your short story, you do everything in your power to make it SO FREAKING GOOD, that readers will eagerly want to read other things you’ve written.

2.  All Short Stories Must Be Self-Contained

I’m aware that there is a certain school of thought among writers that it’s okay to have serialized short stories.  Or short stories which only tell part of a tale.  However, I’m of the belief that short stories must be episodic if they are to be effective.  What I mean by this is that they must be “self-contained.”

I always approach my writings from the viewpoint that nobody cares about my stories, and thus I have to bust my butt to make the stories so good, people can’t help but care about them.  However, it seems I’m in the minority here.  Too many authors make the mistake of thinking their readers see their work as they do, that the reader cares about the same thing they care about.

This is wrong.

Readers don’t give a shit.  They want to be entertained, they don’t care about the minutia of an author’s high-minded opinions of their work.  An author may think that it’s okay to end a short story in the middle of a plot thread because he knows he’s going to write a sequel to it, but the reader doesn’t know that, and they will simply dismiss the short story as being “bad” because the ending was unsatisfying, and so they don’t bother to continue reading the author’s next offering to find out what happens.

Authors will also take for granted that their short stories, set in the world of longer novels with already established characters, will be familiar to the reader.  They assume a level of familiarity that may not be present in readers who are unfamiliar with the longer works, and thus alienate readers of their short fiction.

I’m a big believer in “lowest common denominator” writing.  When I say this I don’t mean writers should dumb down their stories.  Rather, I believe they should write for the reader who is most unfamiliar with their work, and make their stories accessible to the broadest possible audience.  This is crucial in writing a short story, because you need to ensure as many people as possible will enjoy your “calling card” to encourage them to want to read more.

If you look at the “Dunk & Egg” short stories that George R.R. Martin writes, you’ll see what I’m talking about.  These are short stories set in his “Game of Thrones” universe, taking place 100 years before the events of A Song of Ice and Fire, and following the adventures of a Hedge Knight and his squire.  Though these are “offshoots” of his much more epic series, they stand on their own.  You don’t need to have read any of the Game Of Thrones novels to understand the world, the people in it, or the events you are reading about.  Sure, it helps.  But someone unfamiliar with the larger series could read this and get pulled into Martin’s larger body of work easily.

When I say that shorts should be “self-contained,” I mean they should be able to stand on their own merit.  They should have a beginning, middle, and an end, and feel like a complete story has been told.  This isn’t to say you can’t end on a cliffhanger, just that the ending must be satisfying to the reader.  If you look at WOOL once again, the ending of the original short was a massive cliffhanger/twist, but it was a satisfying enough ending that the reader didn’t feel cheated, and the story stood on its own.  There was no need to continue the story to explain the ending.  However, the story was so strong, demand inspired the author to expand upon it, leading to a larger series.

Thus, it is important to not only have a plot that is resolved in your short story, but also a full character arc as well.  We’ll discuss these more in a bit.  Just know that your short story shouldn’t be a “slice of pie.”  It should be the “whole enchilada.”

3.  Keep It Simple, Stupid

Too many authors try to accomplish too much in their short fiction.  As all us writers know, sometimes it’s easy to get swept away with our imagination.  I know I suffer from this as well.  We want to fill in every detail we can – even if those details aren’t necessary to the over-all story.

I don’t find it uncommon to read short fiction LOADED with needless backstory that does nothing to further the plot or the characters of the story.  When I’m reading for critiques, I’ll often delete paragraphs and paragraphs of needless description that’s more there to show off the author’s writing than it is to make the story enjoyable for the reader.  Heck, I’ve even seen pages full of writing that could be cut out of stories and not missed.  (Try telling that to the writer, though.  Owch.  Let them keep their precious snowflake if it’s that important to them.)

I feel the biggest sin a writer can commit, especially in short fiction, is to bore the reader.  A bored reader sets aside the story and never finishes it.  And if they do finish it, they suffer through doing so, and are ultimately turned off by the writer, thus failing the whole purpose of having written the short to begin with.

With this in mind, here are the rules of thumb I use to try and keep my short stories flowing, engaging, and most of all NOT BORING.

When in doubt, cut it out:  Write your short as you normally would, then go back and be merciless in cutting out things that are not necessary to the plot.  You will be amazed at how much useless stuff you write that can be eliminated without hurting the over-all story.  Cut, cut, and cut some more.  The more you cut, the more you can fill out the important stuff as needed.  Eventually, you’ll be left with a tight and efficient narrative that’s a dream to read.

Say in one word what you’d normally say in 5:  All authors suffer from diarrhea of the keyboard.  See that whole paragraph you took to describe how majestic that sunrise was?  Yeah, simplify that to “The sun was rising” and the reader gets the same idea.  You can have as much purple prose as you want in a feature length novel, but in shorts, you just want to GET ON WITH IT.  The less description you have, the quicker and more powerfully the short reads.  It’s actually harder to write using less words, but it’s also far more poignant when you do.

Keep backstory limited to the essentials:  Short fiction is not the place to detail the entire history of the time, space, the universe, and everything in it.  Only tell us what we need to know to enjoy the plot of your story, and leave the rest unsaid.  If you look at Star Wars, there is one line when Obi Wan is talking to Luke that tells you a great deal about the history of that universe:  “You fought with my father in the Clone Wars?”

WTF are the Clone Wars?  Who knows?  WHO CARES!  All we know is that there was some big war which Obi Wan fought alongside Luke’s father.  That’s really all we need to know.  Could you imagine if the movie stopped there to flashback to the entirety of Episodes 1-3 before getting on with the plot?  Yet, writers seem to think doing that exact thing in their stories is a good idea!  *shudder*

Keep things short, simple, and limited to what we need to know as readers.  Trust me, your story will be stronger for it.

4.  Know Your Main Character, Make Them Active, And For The Love Of God – Give Them A Full Arc!

Short stories lend themselves to being character pieces, since you don’t have the space to typically focus on more than one character in great detail.  Yet, I see these glaring mistakes with short fiction all the time:

-The author doesn’t know who their main character is.

-The main character is way too passive.

-The main character doesn’t grow or change in the story.

It’s not uncommon to read a short story that starts with a focus on 1 character, and then midway through, shifts focus to an entirely different character, making you wonder WTF was the reason you just spent all that time reading about character 1 if character 2 is the one who’s gonna be driving the action forward?

Also, writers fall into the trap of just having things “happen” to their character.  Oh, the character has to go out into the dangerous planet for some reason?  Let’s have the character’s best friend suggest it and drag him out there against his better judgment!  Heaven forbid the main character should choose to go out into the dangerous landscape against the objections of his colleagues because he knows it’s the only way to save the day, and he’s willing to risk his life to do so!

Characters who take action to drive the story forward are always more interesting than characters who just “chance” into situations or are going along with another character because the plot dictates they should.  I read one short story where the main character literally was tied up and lectured to for 70% of the tale.  The main character literally did nothing but listen to other characters talk and decide his fate for him.  He didn’t even argue his case.  I wanted to tear my eyes out reading that thing because it was so freakin’ boring.

Take a look at your story and see who is driving the action in each scene.  If it’s a secondary character, ask yourself – “Is there a way my main character can be the one to drive this action forward?”  Always look at how you can craft your narrative so that your main character is the one propelling the story forward, as opposed to just being along for the ride.

But worst of all is when the character has no arc in the story.  Seeing characters change and grow is what makes stories engaging.  It’s what makes characters memorable.  That’s not to say characters MUST change, but they should be in a different place at the end of the tale than they were at the beginning.  The rogue must become the knight.  The whore must become the princess.  The killer must either meet justice or find redemption.  Whatever it may be, we must see a character complete a journey of some type.

In my short story, The Secret Signal, I tried to layer in an arc where my main character, Jax, is on a quest to find his father, who was the smartest man on Earth.  Jax had an inferiority complex concerning his father.  He was always trying to live up to the legend his father had created for himself.  Jax’s quest to discover what happened to his dad is secretly a struggle to prove he’s worthy of his father’s legacy.  Everything the character does in the story is motivated by his desire to prove to himself he’s a worthy son to such a legendary father.  Now, this doesn’t mean he succeeds, but even failure is an outcome that can end a character arc.

When writing short fiction, have a clear idea of who your main character is, what their arc will be, and make them active participants in the outcome of that arc.

5.  Make Things Easy For The Reader

I see this a lot with sci-fi and fantasy shorts – authors will use lingo, words, or whatever that make no sense at all.  Sure, they may be part of the “worldbuilding” they are using, but short stories are not the place to establish these things.  If the author is writing in a shared universe with a larger body, then they must make an effort to specifically explain the devices they are using, and limit the number of words that might confuse the reader.

For example:

“Tri’la’likaa grabbed the tabazooee knowing full well that her Preagenor would be flummoxed.”

Oh.  Dear.  Lord.  Kill me now.  That’s what I think when I see stuff like this in short stories.  Remember, write for the lowest common denominator and assume the reader has no prior exposure to your work.  Make names easy to read/pronounce, and take a bit of time to explain your lingo.  Also, please try and use words that are commonly familiar instead of words you need a dictionary to understand.  So something like:

“Trilaka grabbed ancient staff-like weapon known as the tabzsooee, knowing full well that her teacher – Preagenor Haith – would be confused by the action.”

See what I mean?  The second biggest sin a writer can commit in short fiction is being confusing.  DO NOT CONFUSE YOUR READERS.  Make things easy for them.  Write clearly and concisely, and take the time to explain yourself.  Never assume your reader is smart of paying close attention as they read.  Write as if they are not, and your readership is not only expanded, it is happy!

(As a personal note, I am vehemently against sci-fi/fantasy authors who create character names that involve an apostrophe.  Seriously.  I know it makes it alien to add the random apostrophe to a name, but for the love of all that is good and holy, you can make exotic names without them.  I feel main characters should never have apostrophes in their names, and those that do should never have more than one.   The reason for this is because it makes names hard to pronounce, and can trip up readers as they are going through your narrative, because they’re constantly trying to figure out how the name should be read.  My general rule of thumb is – keep names simple, and if a name has to be complicated, find a way to shorten it so that it is simple.  So if a character is tame Tral’frigah, have him referred to as Tral, etc.)

Even if your characters don’t recognize words us real people do, you should use them anyway for the sake of the reader.  For instance, if a simple character sees a spaceship for the first time, the character may not know what it is.  A writer might describe it as:

“Xaxon gazed at the strange bird hovering in the air, eyes protruding from its circular body, from which he could see miniature creatures in place of irises.”

For the reader’s sake, this could be written as:

“Xaxon gazed at the spaceship hovering in the air.  It was a shiny metal disk with circular windows all around, from which the aliens piloting it were looking out.  Of course, Xaxon, having never seen a spaceship before, believed it to be some type of strange bird.”

Always remember who you’re writing for.  It makes the story much more enjoyable for the reader.

6.  End Strong And Leave Them Wanting More

I’d argue that the most important part of a short story is the ending.  Your beginning and middle could suck, but a good ending will make the reader forget all that.  Again, I point to WOOL here.  It has a very strong narrative leading up to the end, but the twist at the end is so amazing, the reader is left feeling high and shocked and excited.  This ending is what really catapulted WOOL into the spotlight and got readers talking about it.

This is why plotting is so important.  I hold the belief that writers should know how their story is going to end before they start writing it.  If you don’t know your destination, it’s possible to get extremely lost during your journey.  I’ll often write my ending first before I even start my story, just so I know the ending will be strong, and what I should do to get there.

Too many authors don’t know how to finish their stories, so they’ll just “end them” abruptly.  Abrupt endings are death to readers.  They hate them.  It’s even worse if the endings are confusing, or use Deus Ex Machina.  Endings need to be satisfying, but I’d also argue they need to leave the reader wanting more, thus encouraging them to check out an author’s other works.

I feel cliffhangers are great endings for short stories, AS LONG AS the short story has a complete resolution.

In The Secret Signal, I end on a cliffhanger, but that cliffhanger gives closure to my main character’s arc.  So even though there is obviously still more to the story, the reader feels that they read a “complete tale” and won’t feel cheated at the end.

Thus, you can have a cliffhanger for your plot as long as your character arc is resolved.  Similarly, you can have a cliffhanger for your character arc, as long as your plot is resolved.  You can resolve both your plot and character arc if you wish, but it may not be as powerful as a cliffhanger.  And you should never leave both your plot and character arc unresolved.  That’s just bad writing, and readers will hate you for it.

Keep in mind, once a reader has reached your ending, they’ve invested themselves in your story.  If you do not pay off that investment, they will resent you for it.  This is why it is important to have a strong, satisfying ending that leaves the reader wanting more.

Conclusion

I’m wicked smart and you should all do as I say, and there will be world peace.

Actually, the real conclusion is that writers of short fiction should take as much care with their short stories as authors would with their feature novels.  Short stories should, at the end of the day, be entertaining reads.  You might not agree with my philosophy behind short fiction, but I stand by my advice regarding its writing.  I feel if an author follows these tips, their work will be strong, engaging, and most of all, fun to read.

As always, let me know what you think in the comments section.  I appreciate any and all feedback.

Why I Love To Hate “The Tomorrow People” – The CW’s Version Of X-Men

You know, I am a HUGE fan of sci-fi, and a HUGE fan of superheroes, so it stands to reason that I should be a HUGE fan of CW’s latest sci-fi/superhero series “The Tomorrow People.”

But I’m not.

Lord knows I’ve tried to be.  I watch every episode dutifully, but there is just SO MUCH WRONG with this show.  However, the fact that there is SO MUCH WRONG with it makes it strangely even MORE entertaining.  It’s a lot like dating a hot chick you can’t stand, just because she’s totally hot.  Sure, her attitude is awful, but you’re willing to forgive a lot just because she’s so dang sexy.

Make no mistake, The Tomorrow People is a pretty dang sexy show.

How sexy, you ask?

Well, it’s got some ridiculously hot actors/actresses on it, particularly when it comes to Peyton List, who is so ridiculously hot, she constantly looks like she wants to have sex with you, just from the way her eyes are shaped.

See?  SEE?  I’m not exaggerating.  She totally wants to do me.  I can tell just by the way she looks at the camera.  But beyond that, there is a lot of eye candy for females on the show as well in the form of Luke Mitchell and Robbie Amell.

So obviously the show is not difficult to look at.  The cinematography is slick, and the special effects are generally well done.  Plus, it has Mark Pellegrino, who’s so awesome of an actor he pretty much steals any show he appears on.  Seriously, this guy manages to turn in nuanced and engaging characters no matter how thinly they are written.  His role as Gavin Baker on The Closer was one of the most scene-stealing characters I’ve ever seen on TV.  Forget the fact that he’s essentially playing the EXACT SAME character he had in Alphas – this guy could act the phone book and I’d be entertained.  Plus, the CW has dumped some major advertising behind this show, and has given it a lead-in with its hit show Arrow (starring Robbie Amell’s cousin, Stephen Amell).  So there is a lot going for this show.

But despite all that, you have a lot of lackluster acting, and really, REALLY bad writing.

Like, REALLY bad.

And that’s the show’s major Achilles heel.  The writing is just really poorly done.  And the issue I have with the show basically boils down to the fact that the show has a lot of cool concepts shoehorned into bad plotting and stilted dialogue.  In fact, the biggest issue with this show is the fact that characters don’t ever seem to follow any type of real-world logic concerning their situation.

I have a HUGE problem with shows that force their characters to act illogical simply for the sake of the story.  I see this in numerous books and movies as well, and it is beyond frustrating because it zaps away any of the joy one could possibly have simply because it takes you out of the story.  Maybe if it happened occasionally, it wouldn’t be too bad, but The Tomorrow People takes illogic to a whole new level of retarded.

So, the basic premise of the show, which is based on a British sci-fi show of the same name from the 1970s, is that there are certain humans known as “The Tomorrow People” who are entering the next phase of evolution.  This means they cease to be Homo Sapiens and evolve into Homo Superiors.  Basically, it’s the same idea as the X-Men, only instead of being mutants, they’re the next logical evolutionary leap – which means that all Tomorrow People basically have the exact same superpowers.

These superpowers fall into three categories, they call the 3T’s.  Teleportation, Telekenisis, and Telepathy.  So basically, every Tomorrow Person is like Professor X if he was starring in the movie Jumper.  Also, apparently evolution has decided “survival of the fittest” no longer applies once you reach “Homo Superior” stage, and all Tomorrow People have something in their brain called the Prime Barrier, which prevents them from willfully killing people.  (I don’t know if this inability to kill extends to animals as well.)

However, this is where the big problem with The Tomorrow People lies.  The show never really defines what the limits of these powers are, or how the Tomorrow People use them.

For instance, the biggest culprit of this is the Teleportation power.  In the show, the TPs can pretty much teleport anywhere they want at will.  During fights, they can teleport all around in short ranges.  Or, they can teleport miles and miles away (hey, beats taking the bus!).  In one episode, the character of John Young – the leader of the Tomorrow People – actually teleports so quickly, he’s in 5 places at once.

Okay, got all that?  Basically, TPs can teleport anywhere they dang please, no matter what they’re doing.  And they can teleport people along with them if they are touching them in some way.  There are no other limits placed on this power.  It’s not based on line of sight, it’s not based on destinations the TPs have been previously, it doesn’t really exhaust them or seem difficult to do, or have any adverse side effects.  They can just teleport anywhere they want any time they want.

Now, with that in mind, the Tomorrow People are being hunted by a shadowy government organization (is there any other kind?) called ULTRA.  This is a group dedicated to wiping out the Tomorrow People either by killing them, or neutralizing their powers and making them “human” again with the help of a serum that turns back the genetic clock (apparently).  ULTRA also recruits other Tomorrow People to help them hunt down their own kind.  So the “good” TPs are constantly being chased down by the “bad” TPs.

So here’s my issue.  If you’re a TP, and you have the power to teleport pretty much anywhere you want at any time you want, why in the WORLD would you ever hang around long enough to get your ass captured by ULTRA agents?

This show is full of scenes where the TPs fight ULTRA agents in hard-core hand-to-hand combat.  But their goal is to evade capture and stay hidden, so logically, it would make sense to just teleport away at the first sign of an ULTRA trap.  Seriously, the minute you see you’re in danger, why not just teleport away and avoid a fight all together?  Let alone avoid the possibility of being captured by the enemy?

The ability to teleport with no consequence basically zaps any type of dramatic tension this show has.  Every time the characters in the show get into trouble, I practically shout at the screen “Just teleport away, dummy!”  Episode 2 had the main character, Stephen, almost fall off the roof of a skyscraper.  However, the fact that the dude can teleport pretty much negates the idea that falling from tall buildings is a bad thing.

Now, if the show established that teleporting was hard, unpredictable, and extremely dangerous, so it should only be used sparingly, then I could see a reason to actually experience some dramatic tension when danger arrives.  It would make the fact that they fight ULTRA agents logical, because teleporting away could be just as deadly as getting captured.  However, there are no limits to this power in the show.  As it stands, the characters just seem ridiculously stupid for fighting and running when they don’t have to.  And if they DID teleport constantly, as logic would dictate, it would mean the ULTRA agents would have to be so much better and well-prepared to capture them, which would actually make them a real threat.

But no.  None of that happens.

Next up is Telekinesis.  The ability to move stuff with your mind.  In the show, this power is basically used to either shoplift small items or as a “force push” which shoots out an invisible barrier to hit people like a mac truck.  However, none of the TPs seem to have thought of using this power to, oh, I don’t know… stop bullets or disarm adversaries?  What about throwing heavy objects at them from behind?  Or tearing holes in the floor beneath bad guys?  There is literally SO MUCH one could do with telekinesis, and yet, this is the least used power by the Tomorrow People.

Finally, there’s Telepathy.  The Tomorrow People tend to like to use it to talk with one another, even over large distances.  It’s not clear on how they’re able to use this power or who they can use it on.  It just seems to be at the mercy of the plot most of the time.  The character of Cara (basically Jean Grey) used this power to communicate with Stephen for months with no issue.  And yet, during an important mission in ULTRA HQ (which is designed to prevent TP powers from operating, btw), Cara is in constant communication with Stephen mentally, until a critical point where she conveniently gets “overwhelmed” by the thoughts of all the civilians around her, leaving Stephen on his own in enemy territory.

But beyond the TP ability to have psychic conversations, they can see other people’s memories and uncover their darkest secrets.  Of course, apparently a trained TP can block another TP from reading their mind if they have enough skill.  How they do this isn’t exactly clear.  It just seems that when it’s convenient for the hero not to get caught by the bad guy, he can block their brain scans.

Beyond the 3Ts, it seems Stephen is a “chosen one” with other cool powers, like the ability to completely STOP TIME.  Yes, he can pull a Neo and stop time.  He has no idea how he does it, but in times of incredible emotional distress, he can stop time long enough to save the day.  Now, again… logically, if I were Stephen, I’d be spending every waking moment learning how to control what is likely the most powerful TP power ever!  I’d practice that sh*t until I could walk around calling myself a gersh-durng TIMELORD.  That ability could save his ass SO MANY TIMES, its not even funny.  Yet, he just dismisses the fact he can do it most of the time, and only does it when the writers can’t think of a better way to save the day.  We have no idea how it works or why, other than the fact that it seems to be tied to Stephen’s emotions.

Now, on top of all the nonsense with the superpowers, the biggest logic flaws stem from both the bad guys at ULTRA and this Prime Barrier ridiculousness.

First of all, ULTRA has technology that is somehow able to neutralize TP powers.  Their headquarters is designed to negate these powers, and it seems like they have this computer chips which can create “null fields” that will inhibit TP powers, so they can plant them in watches, underneath tables, etc.  They also have a serum which can permanently rob a TP of his powers.

Mark Pellengrino plays Jedikiah Price, who is the big bad of the show.  He runs ULTRA and relentlessly hunts down the Tomorrow People.  (Think Sam Jackson’s character from Jumper without all the religious motivation, and that’s pretty much who he is.)  Jedikiah is a molecular biologist, but he’s also one-step away from being a full on Aryan looking to commit genocide against the next evolution of man.  Now, the cool thing here is that he actually makes some pretty good arguments as to why the Tomorrow People have to be culled.  The not-so-cool thing is that his logical arguments are completely negated by the fact that’s he’s made to be so obviously and completely evil.

Case in point – Jedikiah falls into the supervillain trap of needlessly killing his subordinates pretty much for no good reason.  Somehow, ULTRA is able to find Tomorrow People to drink their kool-aide and become agents.  (Why would any of them ever join up an organization dedicated to wiping them out?  No good explanation is ever given.)  Yet, Jedikiah kills these friendly TPs for the slightest infraction of the rules, even when these guys were trying their best to do their jobs!  As in, these guys he killed were actually LOYAL soldiers to ULTRA!  You’d think behavior like this would lead to a riot and/or exodus of TPs from ULTRA’s employ, but nope.  They just go along with his evilness because… um… just because.

Now, the crux of the conflict in the show stems from the fact that Jedikiah is Stephen’s uncle, and Stephen joins ULTRA as a “double agent” to not only help the “good” Tomorrow People avoid capture by ULTRA, but also to track down his long-lost father who may just be the TP’s messiah.  Jedikiah spares Stephen because of the family tie, but is suspicious of him because of his ties to the Tomorrow People.

I can see where the writers are trying to take this.  The whole double-agent thing worked really well with shows like Nikita.  However, it DOES NOT work here.  Why?  Well, first of all, Jedikiah is meant to be really REALLY smart.  He’s so smart, he pretty much catches Stephen’s every attempt to sabotage ULTRA missions.  Yet, he continues to let Stephen operate within his ranks, even though it’s blatantly obvious he’s fighting for the other side.  Secondly, for a building specifically designed to negate TP powers, a lot of them work in the building.  In episode 1, Stephen is able to “hulk out” and actually use his powers in ULTRA HQ, but lots of other TPs seem to be able to use their powers there as well.  Finally, though Jedikiah seems hellbent on wiping out all TPs, he also seems to like to play God a bit and try to make them even more powerful, which pretty much goes against his entire philosophy for hunting TPs down in the first place.

This brings us to the Prime Barrier nonsense.  So, there’s this “brain barrier” that prevents TPs from willfully killing other people.  When they try to kill, they basically pass out.  This is why no TP has gone on a killing rampage, teleporting in and out of locations and force-choking the sh*t out of people.  I guess it makes sense the show needs to have this limitation on characters that are so powerful, but from an evolution standpoint, it really doesn’t make much sense.  Part of the reason ULTRA is so good at killing TPs is because they can’t fight back really.  You’d think mother nature would allow its creations the ability to survive.  It’s not even clear if TPs can kill animals for food or something.  At the very least, they should be able to kill in self defense!

But Jedikiah was able to remove this “Prime Barrier” in a select few TPs to make them the “ultimate” weapon in hunting down other TPs.  In fact, the TP’s leader, John, is one of the few TPs who can actually kill, which is why Jedikiah is obsessed with finding him and killing him.

Now, Jedikiah is such a worthy nemesis, you’d think John would kill him to protect his people and those he cares about.  In fact, you’d think he’d be on a mission to kill everyone associated with ULTRA.  However, he doesn’t like that he was turned into a “killer” by ULTRA, which is why he ran away from them to begin with.  So instead he just prefers to karate chop and MMA people while his friends get killed left and right.  He keeps the fact that he can kill a secret because he’s so ashamed of his ability to kill.  In fact, in the last episode I watched, he basically saved his girlfriend from being killed by ULTRA agents, then gets all emo that she discovered he’s a killer – EVEN THOUGH he killed to protect her, and she was totally fine with what he did.

MAKES.  NO.  SENSE.

In fact, another rogue TP who was able to kill tried to kill Jedikiah by blowing up his car.  However, Stephen teleports in and saves Jedikiah by teleporting him out of the car right before it blows up.  Keep in mind, if Jedikiah were to die, chances are the TP would have a much better chance of surviving.  Yet Stephen saves him.  Why?  ”Because I’m not a killer!!!” *headdesk*  Even the other TPs were like “Dude, why the f*ck didn’t you just let that ass hole die?”  Stephen’s answer?

“Because he’s my uncle and everyone has a right to live!  Oh, and, uh… plot.”

*sigh*

Despite being totally evil, Jedikiah makes the point that TP powers are incredibly dangerous, and TPs can cause a lot of havoc and need to be controlled.  This is evidenced by all the TPs who discover their abilities and start doing dumb things like robbing banks and breaking out convicted murderers from prison.  There are definitely a lot of dangers the Tomorrow People pose, and it could have been an excellent set-up for some interesting moral questions the character of Stephen would have to face.  Will he choose the side of the humans?  Or will he choose the side of the Tomorrow People?  If Jedikiah were a more pragmatic, rather than evil character, I could see why Stephen would save him.  If Jedikiah were a good guy for the wrong side, instead of a cocky, sadistic bastard, then I could understand why Stephen might be torn between his allegiance to the Tomorrow People and his uncle.  But Jedikiah is a remorseless killer, so it’s hard to really see things from ULTRA’s point of view.

Also, the Tomorrow People are ridiculously stupid.  They don’t really seem to understand the concept of fighting for survival.  And beyond that, all their plans to thwart ULTRA are usually half-baked and poorly executed.  In a recent episode, one character “sold out” the Tomorrow People to ULTRA because they told him they’d let the guy see his mom in exchange for helping them capture John.  Of course, three TPs end up getting brutally murdered by ULTRA agents and the rest barely escape.  And then, the TP traitor is all like “I THOUGHT I COULD TRUST THEM!”  Keep in mind, he thought he could trust the organization which nearly murdered him multiple times (There was a whole episode devoted to him being hunted by ULTRA), and then kidnapped his mom and threatened to kill her if he didn’t help them.

My guess is that the next phase of human evolution must zap some pretty important brain cells, because none of the TPs act any smarter than this dude does.  Indeed, all the brains seem to be on ULTRAs side, which is probably why they’re winning in the first place.

All this adds up to one hot mess.  The Tomorrow People isn’t a bad show.  It’s just not a good one.  In fact, it’s very “meh.”  Most of the time, the show is very boring, peppered with really stupid moments that make you chuckle at how stupid they really are.  The show does little to surprise you or make you care about what happens to the characters.  And that’s probably the big reason why it won’t last if it ever loses its Arrow lead-in.

Beyond that, I think if the writers just stopped relying on plot devices to drive the story forward, they could actually have a really great show on their hands.  I think they shot themselves in the foot by making the TP’s powers limitless.  If I were them, I’d retcon some of that to make it more difficult for the TPs to use, or at least define some hard limitations of the use of these really incredible powers.

I think in most books, movies, and TV shows, you have to be really careful about how superpowers are used, otherwise you get into these “bad logic” situations where the audience begins questioning the character’s actions in favor of the character’s powers.  When it comes to The Tomorrow People, I know these questions pop up pretty much every 15 minutes.

At least in a show like Alphas (which was pretty much the exact same show), the powers were well-defined and had limits to them.  The characters in The Tomorrow People are almost God-like.  There are enough of them in that Subway tunnel where, if they wanted, they could probably form an army large enough to take over an entire city on their own… but that hasn’t really crossed any of their minds yet (I told you they were stupid, right?).

Anyway, like most bad sci-fi shows, I’ll watch this one to the bitter end.  I just with writers, in general, would get a clue about how to write superheroes the right way.  It’s always about a character’s limitations which makes them interesting.  When you grant a character powers, you must always try and do so responsibly.

Otherwise, you end up getting crap.  And that’s what The Tomorrow People is.  Really pretty, shiny, fun-to-look-at crap.

Agents Of Shield S1E4: Recap

Agents of Shield recap time! This week, we had the Scooby Gang chasing down a rogue Shield Agent who was globe-hopping while pulling off all types of crazy heists, all with here eyes closed.

Again, I feel like this show is getting better as it goes along. The banter between the team in the Van scene was great, and I’m really loving the Skye/Ward dynamic. The part where Ward got the command to “Seduce the guard” gave me a nice hearty laugh, especially after all his blustering about not needing help ended up with a pathetic “help” lol.

This new shadow organization which is hunting down alien technology is really awesome. I did not expect the “Handler” to also be a victim, and when his implant exploded, I was like “Oh, snap!” I love secret evil organizations which are smart like that. It really sets up the idea that they’re a force to be reckoned with. I’m still holding out hope that it’s some form of HYDRA. It seems natural that would be the organization SHIELD would butt heads with.

One complaint is that Fitz and Simmons, as adorable as they are, make it really hard to understand their dialogue because of their accents sometimes. I hope they get that issue fixed soon. I don’t usually have a problem understanding accents, but these characters talk so fast and over each other, so it can make it hard to follow their conversations at times.

We also got to see more about how “post death” Coulson has changed. It’s still unclear how he came back to life and if he’s really the same Coulson from the movies. But apparently he had a change of heart in Tahiti.

Looks like next episode is when Skye’s betrayal happens, so that should be interesting. Let’s hope the trend continues and this show keeps getting better. I also wonder if they’re going to do any Thor cross-overs to help promote the movie as November gets closer? Here’s hoping!

Arrow S2E2: Identity Recap

Okay, time for some Arrow love. Y’all know I’m a hard-core Arrow fan, and episode 2 “Identity” was a lot of fun. Really loving how season 2 is hitting the ground running here. Some thoughts on Ep 2…

1. Small gripe here… the plot centers around the Chinese Triad (Led by smoking hot China White) hijacking FEMA trucks filled with medication meant for victims of the Glades. The characters say that there is no police presence in The Glades and no one gives a crap, so there aren’t any efforts made to protect the shipments. HOWEVER, FEMA is a FEDERAL AGENCY, and if FEMA workers were getting murderized this often (seriously, like 12 FEMA drivers died this episode), the FBI, National Guard, etc. would be escorting them everywhere. Not to mention the cops show up constantly after the murdering is over, so why not just have them escort the drugs since that seems to be where the Vigilante’s actions are centered around? (Relax, Matt. It’s the CW. Logic has no place there.)

2. I am officially on team #Olicity. The banter between these two after she was made his “executive assistant” was awesome. Those two actors have a really great chemistry, and I love their banter – especially Felicity’s bit about “spending the night,” lol. I really hope the Producers give us some Moonlighting chemistry here.

3. Diggle’s secret identity is the Black Diver. lol. Though, China White saw his face. I wonder if that will come back to haunt him?

4. Sebastian Blood is a total d*ck. Liked his intro.

5. Roy is now on Team Arrow, getting one step closer to becoming Red Arrow.

6. Bronze Tiger’s intro was kinda abrupt. I’d liked to have more set up for him. But his fights with Oliver were awesome.

7. Interesting development on the Island. My guess is it’s setting up Dr. Ivo, who will be the gateway to “superpowered” characters on the show.

8. That ending! Great cliffy!

9. Next week: Black Canary! Yay!

What did you think of this episode?

Wolverine Dun Got Fired

This video is hilarious, especially if you’re a Wolverine and X-Men fan.  And I also feel its incredibly realistic, lol.  Basically, Professor X fires Wolverine from the X-Men because he’s useless.  Check it out if you’d like a good laugh.

Announcing a Newer, Less Sexy, Daario Naharis!

Game Of Thrones news – Daario Naharis has been re-cast. For some reason the producers chose to replace the ridiculously sexy and fangirl favorite actor with a much less attractive actor no one really knows about.

This continues the show’s long history of recasting actors who aren’t nearly as good as the original actors for some strange reason.

Game Of Thrones: Medieval Land Fun-Time World

I love the Bad Lip Reading guys.  Their political videos are hilarious.  But they’ve REALLY outdone themselves this time.  Remaking Game Of Thrones as a summer comedy… priceless.  The best is “Jimmy Whisper,” who’s working on a gravity belt.  Ha ha haaaa.