Rick Warren's Blog, page 666

How Do You Practice Love?

"Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God." (1 John 4:7 NLT)

Love is a skill that can be learned. In other words, it's something you can get better at with practice.

You may think you're a good lover, but God wants you to become a great lover, a skilled lover, a master lover. You can become an expert at relationships. Yet, most people never learn how to truly love.

Wouldn't you like to become known as a person of extraordinary love? When people speak of you, they might say: "He doesn't care who you are or what you look like." "She doesn't care where you've been or what you've done or where you're from."

The only way you get skilled at something is to practice it. You do it over and over. The first time you do it, it feels awkward, but the more you do it, the better you become.

The same is true with love: "Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God" (1 John 4:7 NLT). The Bible also says, "Practice these things; be committed to them, so that your progress may be evident to all" (1 Timothy 4:15 HCSB).

Let's practice loving each other.

Talk It Over

What are the ways you can practice showing love to others this week?

Who in your life needs to be shown the love of God through you?

How do you think God wants you to practice being a person of extraordinary love when you are tired, grumpy, or in a hurry?

Why Doesn't God Reject Sinners?

"[God] will not constantly accuse us, nor remain angry forever. He does not punish us for all our sins; he does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve. The LORD is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him." (Psalm 103:9-10, 13)

The Bible says there is no condemnation for our sin, but it does not say there are no consequences. Every time you disobey God, you hurt yourself and you hurt other people. You lose your fellowship with Christ. You lose your effectiveness and joy here on Earth. You lose rewards in Heaven.

But, you do not lose your salvation. Why is that? Why doesn't God just kick us out when we blow it? Why doesn't God reject believers when we sin?

His love is unconditional.

God doesn't say, "I love you if" or "I love you because" - just "I love you ... period!" God will never stop loving you, because you are a recipient of his grace.

Lamentations 3:22 says, "[God's] compassion never ends. It is only the Lord's mercies that have kept us from complete destruction" (LB).

Your salvation isn't based on your performance.

The Bible says, "He saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy" (Titus 3:5a NLT). You can't earn your way into Heaven, buy your way into Heaven, work your way to Heaven, or bluff your way to Heaven. The only way you ever have any hope of getting into Heaven is by the grace of God.

Jesus has already taken your punishment.

The law of double jeopardy says you cannot be tried for the same crime twice. That's true in God's book, too. People are not punished for the same crime or the same sin twice.

Two thousand years ago, Jesus stretched his arms out on the cross and took the punishment for your sin. He served your term. The price is paid in full!

Jesus understands your human weaknesses.

God is sympathetic and understanding. He knows your frailties, your faults, and how you're wired. And he is patient with you.

"This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin" (Hebrews 4:15). Jesus lived in human flesh for 33 years, so he understands your weaknesses.

God doesn't keep grudges.

The Bible says, "[God] will not constantly accuse us, nor remain angry forever. He does not punish us for all our sins; he does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve. The LORD is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him" (Psalm 103:9-10, 13). If you are a believer, God is not angry with you. Why? Because all of the punishment was taken on the cross.

You may be thinking, "You don't know how far I've fallen. You don't know what I've done." No, I don't. But God does. If you think you've strayed too far from God, this is what God says to you: "Come back to me, you unfaithful children, and I will forgive you for being unfaithful" (Jeremiah 3:22a NCV).

Talk It Over

What can you learn about how to love others from the way God loves you?

Why do you think we try to hide our sin from God even when we know he sees and knows everything?

What do you think it means to fear God?

Forgive Because You Are Forgiven

"For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." (Matthew 6:15 NIV)

I have no doubt that many of you are carrying some deep wounds that you've carried for months, maybe even years. When you think about that person who hurt you, it's still as fresh as if it happened this morning. The pain is still there, and you're still filled with resentment.

You say, "Why in the world should I forgive that person who hurt me so much? You have no idea how much they hurt me. Why should I offer grace to that person?"�

You ought to do it for three reasons:

1. You need to be gracious to others and forgive those who've hurt you because God has been gracious to you.

You will never have to forgive anyone else more than Jesus Christ has already forgiven you. You should consider that you haven't always gotten what you deserved, either. God has been gracious with you. Now be gracious with others.

2. You need to forgive others because the alternative is bitterness.

Scientists tell us that resentment is the unhealthiest emotion there is. It always hurts you more than anybody else! Resentment will not change the past, and it won't solve the problem. It doesn't even make you feel better. In fact, it makes you feel worse.

The Bible says in Hebrews 12:15, "Be careful that none of you fails to respond to the grace which God gives, for if he does there can very easily spring up in him a bitter spirit which is not only bad in itself but can also poison the lives of many others" (Phillips).

3. You need to show grace to and forgive others because God expects you to do it.

Matthew 6:15 says, "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins" (NIV). Jesus says we cannot receive what we are unwilling to give. If you say, "I could never forgive that person," then I hope you never sin. If you just don't feel like doing it, do it anyway, because it's the right thing to do.

The reason why some of you have a hard time forgiving is because you don't feel forgiven. Would you pray this prayer of liberation and freedom in your heart?

"Dear Jesus Christ, you know I've been hurt by others. You know that my resentment has made me act in ways that have been unreasonable and unhelpful and unhealthy. I need your power to release and forgive those who've hurt me so I can stop letting them control me. Would you please replace my hurt with the peace of Jesus Christ? God, I realize that I've hurt a lot of other people with my habits and my bad decisions and my hang-ups. Would you please forgive me for the way I've hurt others? Help me to make a list of those I've harmed and in the right way at the right time to humbly seek to make amends. Jesus Christ, I want to refocus my life on you. I want to face the future courageously with love and peace in my heart. Would you replace my resentment with your love, my bitterness with your grace? Thank you for your graciousness to me. Thank you for forgiving me for the things that I've done wrong. In Jesus' name. Amen."

What Is Real Forgiveness?

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32 NIV)

Real forgiveness is not a cheap term you just throw out that instantly makes everybody feel better. That's not real forgiveness.

The Bible says real forgiveness is four things:

Forgiveness is remembering how much you've been forgiven.

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you" (Ephesians 4:32 NIV). This is the starting point for genuine forgiveness. If you don't feel forgiven, you won't want to forgive anybody else. If you're hard on yourself, you're going to be hard on others. But the more grace you receive from God, the more gracious you're going to be to others. The more forgiven you feel by God, the more forgiving you'll be toward others.

Forgiveness is relinquishing your right to get even.

Romans 12:19 says, "Never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God, for he has said that he will repay those who deserve it" (LB). Life is not fair, but one day God's going to settle the score. He's going to right the wrongs. So, who can get better justice - you or God?

Forgiveness is responding to evil with good.

The Bible says in Luke 6:27-28, "Do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you" (NIV). How can you tell when you've really forgiven somebody? When you can look at that person's hurt and not just your own and pray for God to bless him or her.

You ask, "How could I ever do that for the person who's hurt me?" You can't unless you allow the love of God to penetrate your life. Only the love of God can help you do something like that.

Forgiveness is repeating the process as long as necessary.

"Peter came to him and asked, 'Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?'" (Jewish law said you had to forgive a person three times, so Peter doubled it and threw one in for good measure.) "'No, not seven times,' Jesus replied, 'but seventy times seven!'" (Matthew 18:21-22 NLT)

How long do you have to keep forgiving a person? As long as it takes. You have to keep forgiving that person until the pain stops and the desire to get revenge goes away.

Talk It Over

What difference has God's grace made in your life? How can you extend that grace to others?

For whom do you need to pray God's blessing today? What hurt do you need to let go of?

What good can you do for someone in your life who hates you or who has wronged you?

Five Ways to Relax in God's Grace

"Be careful that no one fails to receive God's grace." (Hebrews 12:15a NCV)

How do you learn to "R.E.L.A.X." in the liberating grace of God?

Realize nobody's perfect.

Psalm 119:96 says, "Nothing is perfect except your words" (LB). What society tells you isn't perfect. What popular opinion tells you isn't perfect. What you learned growing up isn't perfect. But God's Word is perfect. When you get in the Bible and build your life on it, you will have a perfect foundation.

Enjoy God's unconditional love.

The Bible says, "See how very much our heavenly Father loves us, for he allows us to be called his children - think of it - and we really are!" (1 John 3:1) When you become a follower of Christ, you're not just a servant of God anymore. You are a child of the King. A servant is accepted on the basis of what he does; a child is accepted on the basis of who he is. A servant starts the day anxious and worried that his work will please his master; a child rests in the secure love of his family. A servant is accepted because of his workmanship; a child is accepted because of his relationship.

Let God handle things.

What do you do about the uncontrollable things in life? "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you" (1 Peter 5:7 NIV). When you cast a line, there comes a point where you have to take your finger off the button and let it go. Just like the essence of casting is letting go, to overcome perfectionism, you have to let go and let God do his work.

Act in faith, not fear.

Remember how you got into God's family in the first place. Ephesians 2:8 says, "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith." There's no other way to get into Heaven except by grace. You'll never be good enough, and you can't buy your way in. It's a free gift from God.

Exchange your perfectionism for God's peace.

Perfectionism destroys peace. Jesus says in Matthew 11:28-29, "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest.... Learn the unforced rhythms of grace" (MSG). What a deal!

You're going to fail a lot in life. But you don't have to worry about it if you've received God's grace. In fact, there's only one failure you ever need to worry about: "Be careful that no one fails to receive God's grace" (Hebrews 12:15a NCV). Receive it right now, and then relax!

Talk It Over

What troubles or grudges or guilt can you let go of when you understand that nobody's perfect?

What are some other aspects of God's love that can help you relax?

How do you need to respond today to God's offer of grace?

The Problem with Perfectionism

"If you wait for perfect conditions, you will never get anything done." (Ecclesiastes 11:4 LB)

When you learn how to relax in God's liberating grace and break out of the prison of perfectionism, you will find a new level of joy and freedom in your life. Why is this? Because perfectionism is destructive to your life in several ways.

1. It defeats your initiative.

Have you ever had a project you haven't been able to get started on? You think, "One of these days I'm going to get around to it," but you just can't take that first step. One possible reason is perfectionism. You're waiting for the perfect circumstance or timing, until the kids get out of school, or until a certain amount of money comes in. When you set your standards so high, perfectionism causes paralysis, and you can't get anything done.

The Bible says in Ecclesiastes 11:4, "If you wait for perfect conditions, you will never get anything done" (LB).

2. It damages your relationships.

Nobody likes being nagged or corrected all the time. It's frustrating and irritating! The Bible says, "Love forgets mistakes; nagging about them parts the best of friends" (Proverbs 17:9). Perfectionism - the desire to always correct - damages relationships, because it's rooted in insecurity. Perfectionists who are harsh and demanding on other people are really harsh and demanding on themselves.

3. It destroys your happiness.

Ecclesiastes 7:16 says, "Don't be too virtuous, and don't be too wise. Why make yourself miserable?" (GW) He's not talking about genuine righteousness or real wisdom. He's talking about perfectionism. You can take any virtue and make a vice out of it by taking it to the extreme.

Your worst nag lives under your skin, because people are their own worst critic. Since we tend to resent and even dislike people who nag us, if you're always nagging yourself, what does that say about you? It says that you don't like you. You think you're not good enough. And you think reminding yourself what's wrong with you is going to motivate you into doing the right thing. It's not! That's called perfectionism, and it causes you to constantly put yourself down.

There's only one antidote to perfectionism. It's not in a self-help book or a doctor's office. You can only learn to relax when you fully experience the liberating grace of God.

Talk It Over

What perfect conditions do you need to let go of so you can move forward?

Why is it important for you to be able to relax? What does it say to people who are not followers of Jesus?

What negative thoughts about yourself do you need to replace with God's promises and truth about who you really are?

Come As You Are

"God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners." (Romans 5:8 NLT)

Everything that Jesus did for you, he did out of love. The Bible says that God made you to love you. The only reason you're alive is because you were made to be loved by God.

If God didn't want you alive, your heart would stop instantly; you wouldn't even be breathing right now. God made you and wants you alive so he can love you and so you can love him back.

God didn't just say he loved you; he showed it. The Bible says, "God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners" (Romans 5:8 NLT). It says while we were still sinners. Before I even knew God or knew I needed God in my life, Jesus died for me.

There's a myth that says I've got to clean up my act before I can come to God: "I've got to get it all together. There are a few things I've got to get right in my life first, and then I'll come to God." No! You come to God with your problems - the good, the bad, and the ugly.

It's like when we brush our teeth before we go to the dentist to have a teeth cleaning or when we wash the dishes before we put them in the dishwasher or when we pick up the house before the maid gets there. Why do we do this?

God says, "No, no! You don't have to clean up your act. Just bring it all to me. Bring me all your problems. I have all the answers. Come as you are."

The Bible says, "He will send down help from heaven to save me because of his love" (Psalm 57:3a LB). That's what Jesus did on Easter. He sent himself from Heaven to save us because of his love. So you can bring your problems to God, because he has the answer.

If you don't act on this news, then the death of Jesus Christ and his Resurrection are wasted for you personally. It makes no difference in your life. You may recognize the gift, but you still have to receive it.

"You will be saved, if you honestly say, 'Jesus is Lord,' and if you believe with all your heart that God raised him from death. God will accept you and save you, if you truly believe this and tell it to others" (Romans 10:9-10 CEV).

God is not asking you to make a promise you cannot keep. God is asking you to believe a promise that only he can keep.

Talk It Over

What do you need to let go of that you have been trying to clean up so you can approach God?

What does Easter mean to you personally? How does celebrating it draw you closer to God?

How does your life reflect the extravagant love God has for you and that you have accepted?

Quit Trying to Save Yourself

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast." (Ephesians 2:8-9 NIV)

God says that he will give you his grace. But what is grace? It's when God gives you what you need, not what you deserve. Grace is when God says, "I'm going to take your problem and make it my problem." Grace is God's riches given to you at Christ's expense.

The Bible says, "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast" (Ephesians 2:8-9 NIV). In other words, you can't earn your way to Heaven. You can't work your way in. It's just a gift.

Did you know that's why we give gifts at Christmas? Because that's when God gave the gift of his Son to you - by grace. We give gifts because God gave us the greatest gift at Christmas.

You probably can't tell by looking at me today, but for three years I was a lifeguard. And every lifeguard knows you can't save someone as long as he is trying to save himself. If somebody is drowning and flailing around in panic, a lifeguard knows to just stay back for a few seconds and wait until he gives up. Because if you try to save him while he's trying to save himself, he will pull you under, too.

When he finally gives up and relaxes, you put your arm around him and just swim back to shore. It's really quite easy.

Jesus Christ wants to save you from your hurts, your habits, and your hang-ups. He wants to save you for his purpose and by his grace. But you've got to quit trying to do it yourself. You've got to relax. You need to let go and let God be God.�

Talk It Over

In what ways do you try to save yourself or make your life matter?

What are the things that you boast about? How do they reflect God's grace in your life?

What is it that you really deserve instead of God's grace?

How Do You Get Grace?

"Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'" (2 Corinthians 12:8-9a NIV)

What do you do when you can't fix an unfixable problem? What do you do when you can't solve an unsolvable riddle? What do you do when you can't change an unchangeable circumstance? What do you do when you can't control something that hurts deeply in your life?

You throw yourself on the sustaining grace of God.

How do you get the kind of grace to keep going in spite of temptations, trials, tension, tiredness, and troubles? You do four things:

1. Call out. Cry out for God's help. As long as you pretend to be self-sufficient, you short-circuit God's power in your life. You need to admit your inadequacy and say, "God, I can't handle this!" The Bible says, "God is against the proud, but he gives grace to the humble. So give yourselves completely to God.... Come near to God, and God will come near to you" (James 4:6-8a NCV).

2. Fill your mind with God's Word. Let God's Word comfort, strengthen, fill, soothe, and give you the energy to keep going. Get into it every single day of your life. David prayed, "I lie in the dust; revive me by your word" (Psalm 119:25 NLT). If the answer were to look within yourself, you'd already be changed. You need to look to God! He's the only one with sustaining strength.

3. Accept support from God's people. The Bible says by helping each other with our troubles, we obey the law of Christ, which is, "Love your neighbor as yourself." God never meant for you to go through life on your own. He puts weaknesses in our lives so we realize how much we need each other. You need to accept support from God's people.

4. Hold on to God's promises. There are over 7,000 of them in the Bible waiting to be claimed. Here's one of them: "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youth grow tired ... but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint" (Isaiah 40:29-31 NIV). Keep your hope in the Lord and your eyes focused on the hope of Heaven, not just on the here and now.

The Bible says, "Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness'" (2 Corinthians 12:8-9a).

When you're going through a problem you can't fix, don't give up. Just look up!

Talk It Over

In what situation do you need God's sustaining grace?

Which of God's promises do you need to claim for that situation?

Who are the godly people in your life on whom you can count for support?

How Does Grace Get You Through?

"My purpose in writing is to encourage you and assure you that what you are experiencing is truly part of God's grace for you. Stand firm in his grace." (1 Peter 5:12b NLT)

There are many pitfalls in the marathon of life. But regardless of what you go through, you can count on God's sustaining grace.

The Bible says in 1 Peter 5:12, "My purpose in writing is to encourage you and assure you that what you are experiencing is truly part of God's grace for you. Stand firm in his grace" (NLT).

There are three things in life that can cause you to stumble, to get cast off to the side of the race, and to not finish well in life. And in each of these situations, God's sustaining grace will get you through.

1. God's sustaining grace helps you keep standing when you're tempted.

Temptation is the first thing that causes us to stumble. The Bible says, "God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure" (1 Corinthians 10:13b).

God says, "I will provide the sustaining grace to always give you a way of escape." It may mean turn the channel. It may mean run out the door. It may mean change the way you're thinking. But he will provide a way to escape temptation.

2. God's sustaining grace helps you keep standing when you're tired.

Sometimes you're not tempted. Sometimes you're just tired! Life is often exhausting. It requires a lot of energy, especially when you're trying to do the right thing rather than the easy thing. But where do you get the power to do the right thing when you're dead tired? "It is God who enables us, along with you, to stand firm for Christ. He has commissioned us, and he has identified us as his own by placing the Holy Spirit in our hearts" (2 Corinthians 1:21-22a). The key is having the Holy Spirit in your heart to have the energy to do the things you can't do in your own power.

3. God's sustaining grace gives you the power to keep going when you're troubled.

There are some hurts that all the wishing in the world won't make go away. There are some things in life that are unplanned, unrelenting, and undeserved - and they hurt the most.

What do you do in those situations? You first stop doing the "If only" game and instead focus on Christ and his sustaining power. Isaiah 41:10 says, "Don't worry, because I am with you. Don't be afraid, because I am your God. I will make you strong and will help you; I will support you with my right hand that saves you" (NCV).

That's how you get sustaining grace.

Talk It Over

How have you seen God's sustaining grace carry you through difficult times?

How can you extend God's sustaining grace to others?

What do you think it means to play the "If only" game? When have you used this excuse?