Kate Larking's Blog: Anxiety Ink, page 50

Time Management: Triumphs and Frustrations

I have a confession to make: while I am a good prioritizer, I am awful at time management. Like, awful. And I don’t know why…

Ok, I have an inkling as to the why of it. One, I’m meticulous with tasks I undertake. Translation: I’m slow. I’m thorough, but I’m slow. Two, I overestimate my ability to start a project and stay on topic throughout the time I allot. Three, I underestimate the amount of time I need to complete my work. Because of points one and two there. And four, I’m only on target with my stamina 50% of the time.

All of that added up together makes for a largely unproductive and frustrated Elisa. I have lofty ambitions and yet I am my own worst enemy. It seems like whenever I have things I want to do I can’t seem to get myself in gear. Yet when it comes to work –when it came to school– I do and did what needed to be done no matter what.

Figuring that last aspect out will require more than a blog post. I have a niggling suspicion it all has to do with my habits, but I’m not quite ready to confront that part of my psyche yet. I’m staying willfully ignorant for the time being.

While thinking about this blog post and my problem, I started to wonder if there were parallels I could apply from other aspects of my life to the principals of time management. Again it came down to non-negotiable tasks that have turned into habits. In a way.

Money management was the first thing that came to mind. I’m a big believer in forced saving, by which I mean I have money transfer from my chequing account to my savings automatically throughout the month. I have control over the amount of funds but the movement is out of my hands. It moves no matter what so I have to make sure there’s money to move. This principal is great for my savings. However, I can’t for the life of me figure out how to apply it to myself. Unless I become a robot.

Pet care came in second. Animals are funny, they need routine. And food, water, and care. No matter what’s going on in my life those are three non-negotiables in their world. I clean the litter twice a day, totally clean the boxes every 3-4 weeks, feed them twice a day, and brush them about twice a week. They have all of this figured out too, so if I miss something they let me know.

All of these pet tasks have become second nature to me and I’ve built them into my morning and evening routines. If I can do the same with writing, I’ll be golden. It’s the thinking ahead of time about the writing that does me in, I think. The thought “I must go sit now for an indefinite period of time and create something from nothing” is crippling. I know it and yet I continue to do it.

Writing needs to become a second nature habit so that I don’t approach it like a chore. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t do so much of the time.

Finally, the last item that made my list is early wakeups. Anyone who knows me knows that I don’t do mornings. I hate them. The worst part of the day for me is getting up. All these people who say they love mornings because they like waking up with a whole, new day ahead of them are of a different species than me. And yet, I have to get up –sometimes before the sun!– in order to make it to work on time. Employers frown upon employees who don’t get up. I can force myself to wake up early, leave the house to be productive hours before I would do so on my own at home, then come home, hit the hay at a normal time and do it all over.

Again, I can do this for work but not for myself. Saboteur, I say.

Looking at the three items I came up with next to time management, it’s pretty obvious I have the tools and discipline in me to become a better time manager. It’s my over-thinking that’s getting me in trouble. I’ve said it so many times before and I know I’ll say it countless times again: habit is the key.

How are you at time management? If you have any tips to share I really want to hear them!

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Keep Writing and Publishing Separate

One of the first pieces of advice I ever came across on the internet remains one of the best: keep writing and publishing separate. I believe it was romance writer Jenny Crusie who first clued me in to it, though many have said so since. And she (they) was (were) right.

How much time do I waste reading about publishing messes and brouhahas, saying “I need to keep up on my industry” as though that helps me become a better writer? How often would I browse agent websites before I’d even finished my novel instead of writing it?

They also say write with the door shut and edit with it open (also good advice). It’s okay to consider publishing after you have a product you’re happy with, but before that threatens to derail you. I do an entire editing workshop on making your book resemble your vision for it, and I can’t stress this point enough. Letting publishing in too soon can wreck your book. (And that includes something as simple as wondering where you’ll place the story. It’s irrelevant until you have a complete story you like.)

So while it’s obvious to see how this advice applies to the general act of writing, I’ve been reminded of it recently in a different context. There have been major debacles in my corners of the writersphere lately (YA and SFF). And they are draining. They are exhausting to read about, even if you don’t participate. Writers are often sensitive creatures, and we need to protect our emotional energy. (We need to save it for the writing.) If I’m letting it leak out because Someone Was Wrong on the Internet, I’m going to have no energy left to write, and it’s going to be as tired as I feel when I do. So part of keeping writing and publishing separate may mean shutting Twitter off for a week.

Suzanne Collins, author of the wildly successful HUNGER GAMES books, doesn’t blog. She doesn’t have Twitter. She’s still wildly successful, and she’s probably getting a lot more work done than I am, reading article after article about the Sad Puppies and the Hugos.

I recognize, of course, that it is a privilege to be able to walk away from any argument when it comes to social justice. Many people can’t, because the marginalization they suffer as a result won’t let them ignore a problem. And the SFF problem right now is partly a social justice problem. If you don’t know, a group of writers gamed the nomination process resulting in a Hugo Award ballot of almost nothing but right-wing conservative ideologues, regardless of quality, because they claim that leftist politics had overrun it in previous years. George R. R. Martin has deconstructed their arguments handily, leaving us with empty cries similar to “ethics in video game journalism” when there’s nothing to support it and only the ugly reality of a handful of people who are vocally racist, misogynistic, homophobic, etc.

But it’s also a modern problem: the internet is an amplifier. It’s easy to get sucked in and stay mired. There are a lot of things in play here beyond that, which I’ll talk about another week, maybe. But the one that I’m looking at right now is that this mess is impacting my writing. I spend so much time reading about this, analyzing it, and thinking about my opinions. Discussing it with my husband. You know what I haven’t spent so much time doing? Writing the new book I started.

It’s important to stay abreast of what’s going on in your industry. But there is a balance and it can be obvious when you’re on the wrong side of it. In my case, I need to shut out the internet, the world, publishing, and get back to writing.

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Stress. Things are busy

I feel like my life is taking on an agenda of its own…and one that is polar opposite from writing.

New job. Stress. Calgary Comic and Entertainment Expo. Stress. Life. Stress. There are so many sources of stress at the moment that I’m having a hard time relaxing. What I was able to take on my plate previously is now overwhelming and I need to find balance–and soon.

I will get back on track. Sooner, rather than later. In that respect, I am thankful for Anxiety Ink. The accountability of just a blog post where the focus is on writing makes me feel like I have recurring opportunities to get back in touch what my words.

Until next week, *hugs*

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Finding the Big Picture

“What’s [your story] about?”

Oh, the love-hate relationship with this question. On one hand, I can natter on ad nauseam about the story of the moment (or any of my stories, really), but I try to respect the time and patience of the questioner and keep it to one or two sentences. It’s great practice for the elevator pitch.

But if I’m in the middle of a rough draft? Don’t ask me this question. Just don’t.

See, I usually don’t know what a story is about until I’ve finished at least the rough draft. And if I think I know what it’s about at that point, I’m more often wrong.

This is why I have to write my outlines concurrently with the rough draft. I can map out 5-7 major points or beats of the story, but anything more detailed stalls out around three chapters. Consistently. Then I’ll switch to writing the draft. I’m an incredibly – frustratingly – slow writer, but I find those three outlined chapters go quickly. I might write a chapter or two beyond the outline, notice I’m stalling out again, and remember to sit down and plan out the next three chapters.

The point is: I’m not great at seeing the big picture.

So I’m taking a wonderful writing class, Diversity and Narrative with Mary Robinette Kowal and K Tempest Bradford, and last class involved an exercise where we had to write thumbnail sketches of our yet-unwritten stories, keeping in mind their types (which would be a whole other post). Mine ended up a total mess, so when the homework of writing an outline was assigned, I was terrified.

Thankfully, I’m working with a short story. The smaller frame allowed me to create the outline, but it was a close thing.

So how do you figure out what your stories are about? Is it something you know from the beginning? Does it change over the process of writing? Or are you like me and just kind of fumble through it until you have a draft (or three) of the damn thing?

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Writer Care

We talk a lot about cerebral writer care on Anxiety Ink; we tout reading widely and voraciously, practicing the craft as often as possible, and cultivating community, whether that means meeting with fellow writers, going to conferences, or joining writing groups. We encourage people to talk about their writing successes and frustrations, their triumphs and anxieties. We love a good writing dialogue.

Many of these things are integral to being a successful writer, and making sure you’re not an isolated one.

Unfortunately, we fail a little bit on the physical side of writer care. The past two years, I’ve listed “exercising more” as one of my January goals. Like writing, my commitment and time management to exercising ebbs and flows as the next twelve months go by. But I always return to it.

I’ve struggled with my weight for over half my life. And either directly or indirectly, I’ve also struggled with back and body pain. I sprained my ankle horribly in sixth grade and didn’t seek out proper medical treatment. The joint healed, but it’s never been the same. Because of how its made me walk over time, my knee started to go out, which caused my hip to do the same, and now my back problems aren’t as sporadic as they once were. I’m a hobbly mess on one side.

Some people can’t imagine living with chronic pain. It’s their worst nightmare. All I can say is welcome to my world. Most days. In the last three years I’ve had x-rays and ultra-sounds on my knees and hips. There’s nothing visible causing my issues. Without a specific problem to work on, all I can do it learn to deal.

I’ve always worked at jobs where I stand for the majority of the time. This has never bothered me because moving around keeps me alert. However, my current job has me standing stationary, something I’ve never done. I’m not good at standing in one spot for extended periods of time it turns out.

In December 2013, about a month after starting at this job, I finally broke down and went to a chiropractor despite my unease and unfamiliarity with their practices. At that point I was in constant pain whether I was sitting, standing, or trying to sleep. My toes to my neck ached all the time and I was miserable.

My chiropractor didn’t cure me, but my quality of life has improved exponentially thanks to his adjustments. My accountability over my overall wellbeing has gone up as well because he always sends me home with some stretch or act to further my healing.

I don’t view exercising as a way of turning into a lean, mean machine. That would be nice but my metabolism and physique are not designed for that. Plus, I must be honest, I lack the discipline to exercise as often and as hard as that would require. ‘Diet’ is also not in my vocabulary, although I eat pretty healthy 99% of the time.

I view exercising as a way of maintaining my love for reading and writing. If I don’t exercise, all of the joints and ligaments and muscles in my legs, arms, and back seize up and I can’t maintain any position to do any of my hobbies. Also, everything hurts unless I’m unconscious, which is also difficult to maintain when you can’t lay on one side for long.

Source.

Don’t get me wrong, exercise can be a chore. If I set myself large goals and don’t hit them I stumble and get discouraged, just like I do with writing. Yet, also like writing, I enjoy the end result regular exercise provides. I feel invigorated, accomplished, and there are physical and mental results. My mental acuity and creative stamina have improved so much since I created an exercise regime for myself.

I’m not sure about elsewhere, but in Canada and the United States, people are inundated with messages about the importance of “body, mind, and spirit wellness” from such poor sources that the phrase has lost all meaning. But it’s a really important concept! Balance is everything.

I’m not as active as I could or should be. I’m taking strides to improve that, but self-change doesn’t happen in a day. Not everyone can be as active as the next person. Being as active as you physically can be a few times a week is still a step in the right direction. I know first hand.

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Ask an Editor: The Editorial Skillset

I’ve seen some writers who think that because they write, they’ll make some easy side money offering editorial services freelance. (If you’re one of them, my post may or may not apply to you!) So I have heard new writers wonder what an editor even does that a critique partner doesn’t, or what’s so special about an editor if anybody can do it.

So today’s question isn’t really a question, but an explanation of the editorial skillset and how not every writer actually has it. The thing is, plenty of professional editors don’t write. And many professional writers can’t edit. They aren’t the same skillset. Just because you’re able to critique your friends doesn’t mean you can be a professional editor.

On the surface it seems very similar: there’s an expert understanding of craft elements and how to use them, right? Editors are fresh eyes, right? To that extent, yes. But that’s about where the similarities end. I’ll begin with a caveat, though, that all editors are different and editorial styles differ.

Here’s the thing. Critique partners are the people who work with a writer to develop a manuscript to the professional level. Editors expect your work to be professional already. We aren’t a litmus test of your manuscript’s quality. Our job is clean-up, clarity, and produce books that will sell for our publishers. Unless we’re freelance, in which case, we want to produce books that will sell in their intended market for the author. Either way, the market is an aspect that falls under an editor’s domain, not a critique partner’s. So editors need to be well read or strongly familiar with the genre they’re editing. It doesn’t help an author if an editor makes their book sparkle but the book is completely derivative of last month’s best seller. It’ll get lost in a sea of knock-offs. An editor is going to help a writer develop that unique hook and angle so they can build their own readership.

Yes, many editors, myself included, will take a chance on a book that’s not quite there yet, and hopefully teach the writer some craft as we work on the book so that future submissions will be publishable quality. But it’s technically not the point.

So where a critique partner may get into the nitty gritty of a scene, often an editor is looking at the big picture. (Granted, a good CP is too, but all CP’s are not created equal. And frankly, a good editor is also looking at the nitty gritty, even if our overall focus can be elsewhere, and also, not all editors are created equal!) We are looking for ways to push the book beyond good to great. And we often have the advantage of having reviewed hundreds of manuscripts in our genre so we can tell you what you may not realize is overdone, or we can do that stepback and see where a series would be positioned in the market and how maybe it would be better to start with what you thought was book two in your series. Writers don’t necessarily have the eye for this. Editing is not just about craft.

The other part of this is that with our big picture view and our history of manuscript review, we often have a better handle on the way craft elements work together that other writers (your CP’s) don’t. Most writers are great at one or another of the craft, but not all of it, and their critiques tend to focus on the elements they’re good at. Editors don’t need to be great at it, we aren’t writing. What we are doing is reading, analyzing, and assembling. It’s not a creative skillset at all. It’s a logistical one. And not every writer is a logistician. It’s why an editor can explain why something isn’t working where a CP might just say that something doesn’t feel write to them. We have mastered that stepback.

Editors are the people who realize that your use of that particular word is anachronistic in your historical, because we know the time period so well. Editors are the people who say that while we recognize that side character is a real scene-stealer, he doesn’t actually add to the plot and he needs to go. CP’s are notorious for rooting for elements they love that don’t necessarily make the book better. They are, frankly, often as close to the material as the author, making their help not as objective as it could be. Editors don’t have that problem. We’re often ruthless about this stuff.

 

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The Challenge of Writing Setting

One of the aspects of writing I have the most trouble with is writing setting. Pretty much everything about it. I have a hard time imagining all the details around a character, beyond their interactions with it.

My writing is heavily focused on the visual. My writing reads like anime or a graphic novel, where all things are shown through visual elements. Don’t even get me started on non-visual aspects of setting. I’m extraordinarily adept at not using the sense of smell in what I write.

Source

I took a writing class this winter and one of the days we talked about setting. How setting should be a living and breathing aspect of our writing. The story as a whole and the setting should be fused, to the point where the story and the setting couldn’t be separated. Or if the setting were changed, the meaning of the story would change.

That finally struck me that I need to think more about the setting of the stories. Sometimes, I can’t really help where a scene would be. A space battle can’t take place in a garden. But I could control where my character is at a certain point, during a certain discussion, and what the location will impart on the meaning of a conversation or plot event.

And there is more to setting. Setting is not just where a story is, but its environment. The culture around an event and character (Thanks to Inkette Jessica Corra’s talk at ARWA, I finally put that together!). The types of a food a person eats? All part of setting and atmosphere.

I think it’s finally sticking how I can make that aspect of my writing stronger. Bringing elements around a character to life and weaving it into the events to either complement or contrast.

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Lowering Expectations

Last year was awesomely productive for me, writing-wise. This year? Not so much.

The tally system that helped me write all but a handful of days in 2014 has completely fallen by the wayside. A lot of this has to do with the fact that I had a few big projects last year that gave me focus and direction. I always knew what I was working on.

2015 has been different. I’ve started and stalled on editing the Damn Novel a few times and have no clear idea what project I want to tackle next.

I’ve spent a lot of time with short stories this year, and while they have certainly saved my sanity, they are not saving this timeline in my head.

The downward spiral that comes from not meeting expectations of us – whether from others or ourselves – is something we’re likely all familiar with.

The obvious solution, to lower expectations, is easier said than done. No one ever taught me how to do it, and the phrase has some negative connotations.

I mentally list why I haven’t done a thing and what I would have sacrificed in order to do it, but that doesn’t always work. Sometimes it makes it worse.

For me, the key is to recognize that, for whatever reason, I need the time, or the break, or the shift in focus. Then I have to give myself permission to do (or not do) whatever it is I need.

It’s a lot harder than it sounds, but it’s an important skill to develop.

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Camp NaNo April Edition: Start

The title of my Camp NaNo project says it all: Words. On the page. Hoorah. I was being a might sarcastic when I came up with the title on the fly after my cabin-mates asked if I wanted to participate this month. Little did I know that the name would so eloquently sum April up.

You see, my professional life has hit yet another snag. I’m back to full-time work at the day job -indefinitely- again because our newest member had to leave our ranks. I’m not even going to dwell on that fact because it’s far too regular an occurrence. I will sum up the entire situation with: I am majorly bummed and tired of the lack of consistency my life seems to entail. Whine, whine, whine….

Back to Camp NaNo!

In early March when I decided to take on the challenge of Camp I was excited because I had just started a short story project. The deadline for it was April 1st. Then, I figured I’d be getting my word count via editing.

The deadline changed and March was even more hectic than I had anticipated. So April will be devoted to completing the draft I’m 2/3 finished, then editing it to the bone. I have another story burning a hole in my subconscious though so I may take time between wrapping up the rough and drafting new rough before I edit the one with the deadline.

I’m still excited about Camp, I just won’t have as much time to devote to it as I would have wanted. I’m willing myself to take this in stride and organize myself so I can hit my meagre goal of 10 000 words without sending myself into a tizzy as May approaches.

For the record it’s April 10th and I have yet to start *hangs head and waves a white flag*. But I have TWO writing dates organized for the weekend!

Life-challenges aside, I am still roaring to get some words on the page this month and to see what my cabin-mates produce. And when I hit 10 001 words I will be yelling hoorah.

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Writing with Chronic Illness

Being Anxiety Ink, we talk often about writing with anxiety and depression, and similar. It’s been a month since the doctor told me I have fibromyalgia, and I’ve noticed some issues particular to writing with chronic illness that isn’t anxiety or mental illness that I wanted to talk about today.

1. Self-care trumps everything. As with anxiety, of course, self-care rules. Planned on writing 3000 words today but fibro fog keeping you from getting anything done? Adjust your plan. Pushing through only makes things worse. Often, the pain/fatigue/whatever can’t be shaken, so trying to do whatever goal I had anyway means I don’t get it done, feel guilty and frustrated, and worse, am more in pain/tired because I didn’t give myself the break my body clearly needed. The problem with chronic illness is you can’t really plan ahead of time for it. You need to respond to how you’re feeling now, and that can change instantaneously. So my Type A hard-core scheduler has been weeping a lot the past month as I give myself permission to break commitments and not reach my productivity goals. (Last week’s post, about Habit, is still true–it’s been so helpful because I can prioritize things I NEED to do daily/weekly versus what I’d LIKE to do regularly but don’t want to feel obligated. So… flossing is a daily, but sadly, writing is not. At least right now.)

2. Get creative. Writing is a long game activity. Even if you’re writing a short story or poem, writing with can take hours or months, especially when you add on revision time. When our bodies rebel against us, it can take even longer. When our minds join in, as with fibro fog, we can feel helpless and stuck. I’ve written 10 novels, and I am terrified I won’t be able to write another one. That the mental strain will be too great, it will take me too long and I won’t be able to hold it together. Yesterday I played Eldritch Horror with friends and the complicated GAME took several hours, maybe 6? Not even a full work day. I was so drained from having to focus and strategize that I went to bed when we got home (by 930). Playing a game isn’t as hard as writing a novel. It can be horrifying.

One way to combat this is to keep the creative muscle stretched in other, diverse areas. Maybe take up baking or cake decorating. You can have delicious cookies made in an hour and feel productive and accomplished. Doodle. If you can write fast or only consider poetry a hobby, maybe write a poem or short story instead of the novel you’re working on. Work on a different creative project, like knitting or quilting. Of course, this is only IF you have the spoons. If you don’t, and writing is your passion, spend the creative spoons you have writing. But sometimes it can feel good to do something else when you can.

3. Writing-specific exercises help. Every writer knows they need to be taking regular stretch breaks, but this is even more true if you have chronic pain or another illness. Do your stretches! They don’t need to take long or be complicated. Touch your toes. Make a circle with your nose. Bend your wrists. Get up and walk around the room once. Even that little bit will help.

I’m still learning, of course, and my fibro isn’t “as bad” as some of my friends. Leave your tips in the comments for how you write with a chronic illness.

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