Barbara Curtis's Blog, page 28

Mommylife 8th Blog Anniversary

Eight years ago today, Barbara began her blog. I remember when she made the decision and told me that she felt God was taking her in a new direction.  She felt that God wanted her to impact His world in a more immediate relational way and that this new technology called blogging would be an ideal venue. She felt limited in reaching a broader audience, even though she'd already authored a number of books, countless magazine articles, and newspaper columns. Little did she know what an impact she would have....
Thanks to Lexie (I don't have anyone to "remind" me anymore except Barbara's many daughters and sisters :) and her going through Barbara's archives for her past posts on the previous anniversaries and sending them along with a reminder to me of this important day.  I have posted them below, along with her sweet note and reason why she did this for us. If any of you are so moved, please let us know what Mommylife has meant to you over the years. I urge you all to take continuing use of the incredible amount of wisdom stored here in her archives. It truly is a valuable resource.  
                             BTW: Lexie's main blog spot is  LexicalLight.com

Hi, Tripp, Barbara's blog birthday is tomorrow, so I
put together the link from all her previous blog birthdays. If you'd
like to post it for her blog birthday, I would be honored. I'll include
the post in the text of this email and as a Word document. Let me know
if it doesn't work. 

Why? Barbara's blog was one that inspired me to blog
and to write. I started my blog in April of 2005. She kindly responded
to my email about how to become a writer. One was to attend a
conference. The conference I attended that year is one I now speak at
every year. 

I consider her a writing mentor, as well as a life mentor. 
Thanks for continuing to post. I appreciate the effort it must take. 
It seems I think of Barbara often in my laundry room. When I do, I think of her I pray for your family.

Thanks for your time, Lexie
In honor of Mommylife's 8th blog birthday on January 15, 2013 here are the
links to the posts Barbara wrote on previous blog birthdays, including
the first post. (Starting in 2009 the posts all have her blog story; she
updates the blog stats and does a quick recap in each one.)


January 15, 2012 Mommylife 7th blogiversary

"But I've always thought that real life was more interesting than anything I
could make up. And my own call is to share mine as openly as possible
so that others will be unafraid to share their own."


January 15, 2011 Happy Birthday, MommyLife - 6 years blogging

"In the past six years, I have written 8038 entries at MommyLife - and you
have made 28,088 comments. Today's Sitemeter visit count stands at
3,032,368 - though my Awstats counter registers 2.5 times the daily
visits Sitemeter captures. Currently, I'm averaging 7000 visits/day ".


January 15, 2010 Happy Birthday, MommyLife!

"In the excitement over Maddy's American Idol adventure, I forgot to
anticipate my Blog Birthday. So here I am - after my "unprecedented" (to
use a favorite White House word) 11-day blog hiatus - getting back into
the swing of things when I realize it's actually January 15th and I
have now been blogging for five years."


January 20, 2009 MommyLife Blogiversary - #4

"My Blogiversary was January 15 - but my blog was kaput that day, an
unusual occurrence thanks to the faithfulness of my BlogGuru who has
overseen its behind-the-scenes for 3 1/2 of its 4 years (Thank you, King
of Fools)."


January 15, 2008 My Blog Birthday - and Book Giveaway Winners

"Today is the day! My third Blog Birthday! In the past three years, I have
written 2468 entries at MommyLife and you have made 10,110 comments.
Together we have informed and encouraged each other. You have seen me
lose 90 pounds and I have seen you all have a lot of babies!"


January 15, 2007 Happy Birthday to MommyLife!

"Remember back in the days when if you read something you loved in a magazine, you'd cut it out and tuck it away? Maybe to celebrate this birthday, if any of you have favorite entries here, you can share the link in the
comments below. If you've forgotten where to find it, just google the
title or keywords in my personal Google on the right. I'd love to know
what made a difference in your life."




January 15, 2006 Happy Birthday to MommyLife!

"Okay, I know I've been like a little kid counting down the days 'til my
birthday. Believe me, I don't do this with my real one! But my blogging
birthday gives me a chance to reflect on the past year and how much my
blog has come to mean to me."


January 15, 2005 Yo ho, Yo ho, the Mommy Life for me!  (First post.)

"Here's why we need to talk: I've been a mother of toddlers for 35 years."
"On the technical side, I must confess I'm stumbling in the dark setting up
this blog.  I wish I knew more, but hope to learn as I go along.  I'm
just so anxious to get the conversation going!  Books and columns aren't
as immediate and alive as a blog.


  I plan to post five times a week - with lots of pratical ideas and
inspiration for helping your children reach their potential even as you
reach your own.  Do you know other mommies who could use some
encouragement?  Then please pass it on."

Empty House

Came home tonight and no one was here except our dogs and the haunted walls that echoed the tears and laughter of our life together. The Boyz are off at Jill's House.....a wonderful ministry that gives families with children of special needs a place every so often where they can spend the weekend having a blast being loved on by wonderful folks and give the parents and possibly their "regular" children a little special time together.  This used to be a time Barbara and I relished, with me bringing home some special burritos to munch while watching whatever she had in the queue from Netflix; and of course discuss whatever child or current matter needed "fixing."  But not tonight....and not ever again, for she is gone and I am here.


In reminiscing along these lines....we spent our three month courtship going to museums, parks, and music venues.  But what we liked to do most since we lived close to San Francisco was to buy burritos at El Faro's in the Mission district and frequent old movie houses that specialized in old classics and foreign movies. We carried that into our marriage for our special time and then were able to bring it into our family life with the advent of VCRs and monitors.  Our children didn't grow up with television, but with all the old classics and movies both modern and foreign that we felt would inspire character, encourage their intellect/logic/common sense, and open their eyes to the real world without the jadedness of post modernism. Even though this was before our conversion God was teaching us to be proactive parents. Barbara's background in Montessori teaching really helped along these lines. 
You've heard me say that she made me a better man than I ever would have been. It's true.. I married her under false pretenses in hopes to marry the most wonderful woman I had ever met.  I professed to be a person like her... a high heart...like a bird to fly high,(hence our life long two bird theme).... who wanted to be the best person she could be. I didn't know what that meant but I wanted to be with her so I played the part. Once we were married and the blinders were off it became very apparent that I wasn't quite the catch she thought I was.  I had to make a decision to rise to the occasion. Because of my experience in growing up in a divorced home, quitting was not an option.  I remember telling Barbara that I was committed and had, "burned all my ships," recounting her the historical moment(not a very romantic example....but it worked for me) when the Romans were trying to invade Britain. After being repulsed by Celts repeatedly,  in order to teach commitment to his men, Julius Caesar ordered all his ships to be burned leaving nowhere to retreat to. That was a turning point for me in our first few months of marriage that began the heart, life, and soul change that God was offering me.
Barbara told me then that I had her heart and that even though I had gambled to be with her, she would give me a chance. As imperfect a man as I was and still am, I learned then that when you really love someone, you help them achieve their dreams and set them free to fly as God meant them to be.  Barbara ....you flew high and touched many....


                                   a song from our early years...



In His grip,

Papa Tripp

Day 72.....

                             Rolling into the mountains of Tennessee at sunset....1/8/13
                                               
                        "My tears are the words with which I tell God of my pain."
                                                     Adolfo Quezada
Our lives go on through my tears.  Responsibilities clamor for attention.  The hearts of children and family need to be comforted. Friends need to be consoled. Planning for present and future is constant.  The roles of father and mother need blending to achieve balance and meet family needs....and yet in spite of all the needs, the pain is always there. Like the truth Marius sings of in Les Miserables when his friends are dead and he is left...."There's a grief that can't be spoken....there's a pain that goes on and on."
Our old dear friend Sandy has written to me a couple of times now saying of God and Barbara dying, "Lord, what were you thinking?"  I don't know what He was thinking either, but through all this pain, He has walked with me each step.
Henri Nouwen said in Bread for the Journey, "When we lose someone we have loved deeply, we are left with a grief that can paralyze us emotionally...When they die a part of us dies too."  Having been together for over thirty years never going a day without speaking to each other, sharing everything, knowing each others strengths and weaknesses, agreeing on all the big things, arguing over the stupid ones, knowing the same emotions as we experienced our life together, becoming one flesh, raising all these children, encouraging the grandchildren, and looking forward to the future where we might get to travel together I can't help but feel that part of me is gone.  And yet as always through my life, even when I didn't know Him, but He knew me.....in my weakness and brokenness I am made whole and given the strength to carry on.
Took the picture above as I was running a mission into Tennessee the other night wanting to share what I was seeing with my babe. Whenever either of us would travel we'd spend a lot of time on the phone either talking to each other or our children...(mostly each other.) The sights she's seeing now are probably spectacular beyond belief.  God just gives us tastes of the beauty in store for us topside. But, I sure wish she had been there for me to talk to....



Man knows not his time...so be true and cherish each other and the times you have.
In His grip,
Papa Tripp

Who is the real culprit----something to ponder

In the wake of the terrible tragedy at Sandy Hook, everyone has been rushing to blame guns, etc. And of course the Left is going to use the opportunity to try and take away our 2nd amendment rights.....but what is the real source of this evil act?  You have read Barbara's concerns in the past regarding "Big Pharma."  The following article raises some real concerns and clearly exposes the claims of conventional wisdom as to where at least some of the blame really lies.  As usual.....follow the money.

The giant gaping hole in the Sandy Hook reporting

In her stead,
Papa Tripp

30 years ago today at sunset....

I was blest to marry my dreamgirl. She's gone now, but her life lives on through all of us that she touched......Life goes on.... Love her still and always will...





Carrying on in His grip,
 Papa Tripp

Ghost in this House.....

I don't pick up the mail

I don't pick up the phone

I don't answer the door

I'd just as soon be alone

I don't keep this place up

I just keep the lights down

I don't live in these rooms

I just rattle around



I'm just a ghost in this house

I'm just a shadow upon these walls

As quietly as a mouse I haunt these halls

I'm just a whisper of smoke

I'm all that's left of two hearts on fire

That once burned out of control

You took my body and soul

I'm just a ghost in this house



I don't care if it rains

I don't care if it's clear

I don't mind staying in

There's another ghost here

She sits down in your chair

And she shines with your light

And she lays down her head

On your pillow at night



I'm just a ghost in this house

I'm just a shadow upon these walls

I'm living proof of the damage

Heartbreak does

I'm just a whisper of smoke

I'm all that's left of two hearts on fire

That once burned out of control

And took my body and soul

I'm just a ghost in this house

Oh, I'm just a ghost in this house....

This song makes me weep for myself, but the reality is that it was always about more than the two of us...despite what my romantic heart tells me. God brought us together to bring about change for her children, our children, our adopted children, and their future. God brought us together to change history for our family....which in reality is His family.
Thank you Father for allowing us to have her as long as you did... Please allow me the grace and strength to go through this time... Father I miss her so!
Loving her still and loving you...
Papa Tripp

Remembering 30 years ago....

                                         My SweetHeart when we first went out...

Don't know how much of the beginning of our story you all
know, but we first went out together on Sept. 15th, 1982.  Told her the next day that I wanted to marry
her and adopt her two daughters from her first marriage. We were both spiritual
seekers (new age/eastern mysticism) but had no sense of morality so I moved in.
Planned a marriage for the following Spring (awkwardly, the first date I gave
her was the date of her first marriage....which I changed quickly.)  Everyone thought we were crazy and knowing
the two of us as individuals it would be over soon and we'd be tornadoes in other lives soon.... But God was planning a shotgun wedding.  On Christmas Eve of that year, Barbara told
me she was pregnant.  I felt immediately
convicted....much to my shame, because of promiscuity in the past I knew I was responsible
for at least two abortions....perhaps more. I was a man with bloody hands and
knew that this woman was far more than I deserved and I could not/ would not
desert her and her daughters. We were married at sunset nine days later by a
justice of the peace at Jenner-by the-Sea, where the Russian River flows into
the Pacific.

Been reliving and reflecting on those nine days thirty years
ago.....how we were told by family and friends that we were doing the wrong
thing. I reminded her of that old Everly Bros. tune, "Stick with me
Baby," (which I have embedded below with a great version by Alison Krause
and Robert Plant.) It was during this time that we picked out the verse,
"For He is our peace" that became so prophetic in our lives.  Though we did not have a proper relationship with God, He had one with us.....and we both knew in our hearts that we were doing what we were supposed to do.  That became God's pattern in our life together. So many times we did what God called us to do while conventional wisdom said we were being foolish.

These days are hard for me, but I know Barbara would be sharing with you what she was dealing with, so please bear with me.  While I was working today I stopped by her graveside....covered in snow. I miss her so and no eagles on this day... But the pain of loss goes on. Like that old Joni Mitchell song, "You don't know what you've lost til it's gone."  Through this lens of mourning I am seeing and remembering so many things that I dearly loved and appreciated about her life that went unacknowledged by myself.  Standing on that hill today over the river I really felt like a man cast adrift...a ship without an anchor.  That I had let her down. But then I realized the truth.....Her race had been run.....and she had run it well... I am still on the field and my race is not yet finished...and so my Dear Barbara, I thank you for the years you graced me with and all you did to make me a better man...
Loving you always,
Tripp

Barbara's first Christmas topside...

                  One of the many Nativity scenes Barbara collected over the years....

Barbara's first Christmas in Heaven and ours first without her was a bit of a minefield as you can imagine. All of our children and grandchildren except for Sophia and her husband Josh and Timmy, a grandson,  made it over for Christmas Day.
We kept all our traditions with minor variations.  In our tradition we have always read the Nativity from the Gospel of St. Luke and sang carols before the giving of gifts. Part of God's orchestration was to have someone send me a heavensent letter two days before.
I was able to read the gospel reading, but after starting to read the "letter from Heaven" and breaking down, our eldest, Samantha took up the mantle and read it through her tears...


First Christmas in Heaven
Author: unknown
I am having my first Christmas in Heaven

A glorious, wonderful day!

I am standing with saints of all ages,

Who found Christ, the truth and the way



I am singing with the heavenly choir

I- who so loved to sing!

And, oh what celestial music

We bring to our Savior and King



I am singing the glad song of redemption,

How Jesus to Bethlehem came,

And why they called His name Jesus,

That all may be saved through His Name!



Oh, loved one, I wish you could be here!

No Christmas on earth can compare,

With all of the rapture in glory,

I witness in Heaven so fair!



You know how I always loved Christmas,

It seemed such a wonderful day,

With all of my loved ones around me,

We were so happy in every way.



Yes, now I can see why I loved it,

And, oh what a joy it will be,

When all of my loved ones are with me,

To share all the glories I see!



So, dear ones on earth, I send greetings,

Look up! Til dawning appears,

And, oh what a Christmas awaits us,

Beyond all our partings and tears!

White Christmas....

Now in those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus, that a census be taken of all the inhabited earth. This was the first census taken while Quirinius was governor of Syria.  And everyone was on his way to register for the census, each to his own city. Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the city of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and family of David, in order to register along with Mary, who was engaged to him, and was with child.  While they were there, the days were completed for her to give birth.  And she gave birth to her firstborn son; and she wrapped Him in cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

 In the same region there were some shepherds staying out in the fields and keeping watch over their flock by night. And an angel of the Lord suddenly stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them; and they were terribly frightened.  But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger." And suddenly there appeared with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying,

"Glory to God in the highest,

And on earth peace among men with whom He is ple ased."

                                               The Gospel of Luke

Barbara always loved a White Christmas, so I think she arranged it special for us now that she is Heavenside.  Maddy sang last night at the Christmas vigil while I sat alone for the first time at Christmas.  This Christmas is a first for Barbara as well as she joins with all the other saints and Heavenly host giving glory to God in the highest. Though tears are falling and our hearts are aching yet, we rejoice in the Birth of Our Savior and are blest with the comfort and love Our Heavenly Father has surrounded us with.

"For a child will be born to us, a son will be given to us; And the
government will rest on His shoulders; And His name will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace."                       The Book of Isaiah

In His grip,

Papa Tripp

Advent closes and now...Christmas

In those days Mary set out and went with haste to a Judean town in the
hill country,  where she entered the house of Zechariah and greeted
Elizabeth.  When Elizabeth heard Mary's greeting, the child leaped
in her womb. And Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit  and
exclaimed with a loud cry, "Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the
fruit of your womb.  And why has this happened to me, that the mother of my
Lord comes to me?  For as soon as I heard the sound of your greeting, the
child in my womb leaped for joy. And blessed is she who
believed that there would be a fulfillment of
what was spoken to her by the Lord."   Gospel of Luke

The gospel reading from yesterday reminded me of Barbara and her impact on my life. In our life together after conversion to Christ and becoming new creations we learned together to be obedient to what God was telling us. We were far from perfect, but we always tried to do what He told us to do. That meant that sometimes we bit off more than we could chew and then we'd have to chew it....but we never regretted being obedient. We believed what Scripture dictated and what the Holy Spirit counseled us to do.  Barbara often told me the World would be a different place altogether if His people would just do what that "still small voice" in their heart was telling them to do.  How many more children would be adopted, how many divorces would be prevented, how many children would not be aborted, how much more would be given to help widows and orphans, how many more souls would learn of the gospel from the acts and words of their neighbor, how many poor choices and decisions with lifelong and eternal consequences would be avoided, and on and on... Thank you Father for letting me share the time you gave me with a woman whose heart's desire was to be obedient to your Heart.

All our children and grandchildren with the exception of Sophia and Joshua will be here for Christmas. I felt it was important to all to stick with all our our traditions that we had implemented through the years.  Personally, I didn't think I could do it, but going through the motions and preparations has been comforting in a bittersweet way.  The old adage, "bring the body and the mind will follow" has proven true. Everything is colored by the fact that she isn't here to share with us.

Yesterday Matt and Maddy sang at the rest home where Maddy has been singing each December for the last four years.  Matt started joining her last year. They sang some carols together, Matt sang some show tunes and crooned a couple of old standards while Maddy sang some jazz standards and played her ukelele.  Couldn't help from crying as this was something Barbara was always a part of. Particularly poignant were the last two she sang,  Danny Boy"  and then "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas."  I leave you with the last stanza.  To all of our dear Friends and Family....Have a blessed Christmastide.....cherish those you love for man knows not his time....

                                      Through the years 
                                   We all will be together,
                                        If the Fates allow
                   Hang a
shining star upon the highest bough.
                 And have yourself A merry little
Christmas now.  

In His grip,

Papa Tripp