Jamie Arpin-Ricci's Blog, page 6

My Coming Out Story – Part 11

I can’t remember exactly when it started but around the time of the I’m Sorry campaigns, I began to refer to myself as being bisexual. In truth, I genuinely didn’t know what that meant. While I knew that my attraction for both men and women generally qualified the label, I had little concept of the broader implications. I wouldn’t always use the term and when I did, I would often do so offhandedly, as though it was merely a convenient word to simplify the conversation.

My first clue that iden...

My Coming Out Story – Part 10

By the time we planted our church, Little Flowers Community, in 2009, the shift in my thinking began to get more pronounced. While I still generally held to the traditional view when pressed about it, I avoided that specific question a great deal. In truth, with planting a new church, my energy and focus were largely directed elsewhere.

In fact, Little Flowers itself didn’t directly address the topic, with members who held traditional views, others holding affirming views, and many not sure w...

My Coming Out Story – Part 9

(Note: At this stage in my story it becomes difficult to simply tell things in chronological order, as so many different things began to overlaps. So the last few posts in this series will have a great deal of overlap in timing while focusing on different themes in each.)

While still holding to the “traditional” view on marriage and sexuality, my own painful experiences at the hands of other Christians tempered my perspective a great deal. Where others were focusing on the need to stand by “B...

My Coming Out Story – Part 8

Despite the seeds of change being planted in my heart and mind, I was still firmly locked down by the fear of what it meant to be “queer” and Christian. Given that my genuine sense of calling into ministry was one of the truest things I knew about myself, the fear of losing that was a powerful motivator. While not entirely conscious at the time, I began to obsess over finding a girlfriend, getting married, and starting a family. If you asked any one of my family at the time, they would have t...

My Coming Out Story – An Interlude

Over the last two weeks I have been writing about my journey discovering my bisexuality and what it meant for my life, especially as a Christian. It was incredibly scary to be that vulnerable. Yet, I have been so moved by the outpouring of love and support, honest questions and affirmation. For that I am deeply grateful. Thank you.

However, more than that, it has been the private messages I’ve received from LGBTQ+ people, their families, their church leaders, and more- people reaching out for...

My Coming Out Story – Part 7

As destructive as it was, making myself fat to protect myself against my own desires (and the attractions of others) served its purpose in the end. I wanted nothing more than to protect myself from the possibility of further hurt, rejection, and isolation. Being the chubby office missionary provided just the distance I needed. It didn’t come without a price, of course, leaving me lonely and scared much of the time. However, compared the pain I’d experienced thus far, it was a price I was will...

My Coming Out Story – Part 6

Despite my experience with the two fellow DTS students (who, it should be noted, I count as friends today), my overall experiences with YWAM over those five months were overwhelmingly positive. While my sexuality always seemed to loom over me, there were many other aspects of my life that I was also wrestling with. As important as it is, I was (and am) far more than just my sexual orientation. YWAM Cambridge was the place I needed to be. And so, later that year, I joined the staff as a full-t...

My Coming Out Story – Part 5

Like so many other kids, leaving home for the first time offered the opportunity to reinvent myself, to step away from all the past mistakes, assumed identities, and loaded expectations. Of course, being only seventeen at the time, “reinvent” was clearly an overstatement, given I hadn’t even figured out who I was in the first place. Nonetheless, I was eager to get as fresh a start as I could find at my five-month Discipleship Training School (DTS).

Beyond the questions of my sexuality, it was...

My Coming Out Story – Part 4

While it would be years before my beliefs about sexuality would change, the summer before I moved away from home marked the beginning of a shift in my thinking. I still held to the traditional view that sex and marriage were reserved for one man and one woman. Yet I had already started rejected the compassionless judgment and moralized disgust that so many Christians expressed about homosexuality. I was not a pervert. I was not a predator. I was no more broken than anyone else I knew. When I...

My Coming Out Story – Part 3

After my first coming out, I slowly gained the courage to come out to more people. For many, my “confession” inspired shock, concern, and no small amount of curiosity. While a few people reacted poorly, like the classmate who declared with a mix of shock and pity, “You’re going to hell!”, most people received it surprisingly well. It was made easier for them, no doubt, by the fact that I made it abundantly clear that I believe it was wrong (a belief I have since abandoned) and had no intentio...