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Lainey’s List Chapter Fifty-Three

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Nick

I toss the investigative file on the table. “This is what Tom was able to come up with in five days.”

Lainey doesn’t touch the stack. Her face is nearly colorless. I have the same sick feeling in my stomach.

“He found all of this in only five days?”

The file is at least two inches thick. “Yeah.”

“I don’t know if I can bring myself to look.”

I place a hand over the top of the brown expandable folder. “Then don’t. If it’s going to make you feel sick or guilty, then don’t.”

She raises stricken eyes to meet mine. “How many were before me? How many after?”

It’s the after ones that will torment her. I had wrestled with what to share with her, knowing that guilt would be the most powerful emotion she’d suffer rather than elation that we have enough to string Chip up by his gonads.

“I didn’t count.” That’s not a lie. I didn’t count because I knew she’d ask. “I’m going to ask you for a favor. You don’t have to grant it, of course, but give it some thought. Looking at this information is going to bring back bad memories, plus, because I know you, I know you’re going to be wracked with guilt. You’re going to torment yourself with what if questions. What if I’d spoken up earlier? What if I’d challenged Chip? What if I hadn’t taken his money to provide for my baby? ”

Lainey’s jaw grows tight. “Yes, but I have those questions anyway.”

Her hand tugs on the file but it doesn’t move. Not with my heavy paw clamped down. “Here’s my favor,” I barrel forward. “I’m asking you not to look. I’m asking you to let me take care of this for you. All the what if questions in the world won’t change what happened in the past. You made the right decision for you and Cassidy based on the information you had at the time.”

A hollow breath rattles in her chest. “All these girls, though, Nick. All of them, and if I’d spoken up, how many of them wouldn’t have been hurt by him.”

“If you had come out and said that Chip drugged you, used you, and wanted you to get an abortion, he’d have had those pictures plastered everywhere. The other guys in that group would have made the same accusations. Everything you feared for Cassidy would’ve come true. You were nobody, and Chip was a pro football player with a lot of money. All the reasons that were right and just and important at the time don’t change today because you suddenly have new information. Don’t let Chip affect your future any more than he already has. Don’t let him win.”

I reach across and grab her cold fingers in mine. “Let me take care of this.”

Her eyes are unreadable for a long, silent moment. I hold my breath. I’d gotten the file last night from Tom Kellogg, a former Naval investigator, who did private work for big corporations and wealthy individuals. He was known as the Excavator, a guy who could dig up secrets buried under concrete.

And apparently, Chip’s secrets weren’t very deep at all, judging by the volumes of material Tom had dredged up in only a few days. Guy’s an idiot, Tom had said.

I knew what he meant after the first document. Tom had found eight girls, all between the ages of fifteen and nineteen, that Chip had violated using the same methods he had used on Lainey. They were vulnerable, impoverished girls from broken homes who were desperate for affection and a better life. He charmed them, plied them with drugs and alcohol, and then passed them around to his coterie of sick friends.

If they got pregnant, as Lainey did, he’d offer to pay for an abortion. Most agreed. Lainey was the only one who didn’t. At least, the only one Tom had found who didn’t.

Want me to keep looking? He’d asked as I stood to leave.

No. I didn’t know how many more of these stories I could take.

“What will you do?” Lainey finally asks.

If you need help burying the body, let me know, Tom said as I was leaving. The world won’t hurt if he’s missing. Can’t imagine anyone would look too hard. Be a service.

I don’t think he was joking.

“I’m going to ruin him.” Killing Chip was too easy of an out. Plus, it puts Lainey and my family in danger. Taking away everything Chip values, however, is a punishment that keeps on giving.

She tugs her fingers free from mine and rubs her hands on her lap, finally coming to a decision. “All right. I’ll let you do this.”

“Thank you.”

Her eyes stay downcast, as if she’s ashamed of the decision she just made. My heart aches for her. I scramble for the right words to say but while I can make poetry on the football field, off of it, I’m not much of an artist.

“It’s the right thing, Lainey.”

“I hope so.”

“It is.” I gather the file under my arm and get to my feet. “I’ve got a team meeting, and after, I’m going to take care of this thing, once and for all.”

We are both missing Cassidy, and until Chip is out of the picture, there’s no way for us to be a family. That’s unacceptable.

__________

It’s hard to sit in the quarterback meeting, reviewing our plays for Sunday, and not launch myself over the table at Chip. But tipping my hand wouldn’t do any good. All the pieces have to be in place before I can bring this asshole down. If I don’t do it right, he’s going to pop up out of another hole and then I might have to enlist Nate’s help, which I definitely don’t want to do.

I know Lainey wouldn’t appreciate me trading my Mustang’s uniform for an orange jumpsuit. I can probably kiss conjugal visits and being a father to Cassidy goodbye as well.

I pause at the door and grab Coach Kittle, our Offensive Coordinator. “Is Coach around?”

Kittle nods and jerks his head down the hall toward the training rooms. “Meeting with the med staff for an injury round-up.”

“Thanks.”

“Hey, you all right?” Kittle asks. “You look tense and pissed off.”

“Just excited about killing my opponent,” I reply. If only. Swiftly, I make for the door. A certain reporter likes to hang around after team meetings, and I want to catch him before he makes the rounds.

I find Garrett Williams hovering by the locker room door. “Williams, what’s up?”

He jerks around in surprise. “Hey, Jackson. How’s it going?”

I don a put upon expression. “I’ve had better days.”

His jaw drops at my unusual response but he’s a pro and recovers quick enough. His eyes light up as he tucks his phone away. His reporter-senses are tingling. “I’ve got some time if you want to grab a drink.”

I make a show of checking my watch. “I don’t know.” I can’t appear too eager.

“Come on. One beer. Off the record, if you like,” he presses, glee and desperation dancing a salsa below the surface.

One puzzle piece shoved into place. I hide my satisfaction behind a frown. “How about three? Over at the pub on El Segundo?”

If Williams wonders why I suggest a place so far from the training facility, he doesn’t show it. His professional mask is now firmly in place. “I’ll see you there.”

William’s speculative gaze follows me down the hall as I make my way to the training rooms to push the second piece into place. Coach Zupp is bent over a table, his head close to Doc Vishwanath as they look over some player’s chart. I clear my throat.

Coach looks up in irritation. “What is it, Jackson?”

“Need a minute.”

He waits for me to tell me what it is. I tip my head toward the doc, indicating I’d like the meeting to be alone.

Coach sighs and straightens. “Let me know if anything changes.”

Dr. V gathers up the files, gives me a warm smile, and leaves.

“So this all right here or do we need to go to my office?”

“We can use Dr. V’s office,” I reply and walk over to hold the door of the office open for Coach.

He ambles over reluctantly and takes a seat. “You unhappy with the set plays for Sunday?”

“Nope. They’re all good for me.” I sit down across from him, slim file in my lap.

Zupp’s shoulders relax. “Then what’d you want to see me about?”

“It’s about Chip Hart.”

Zupp’s eyebrows gather together. “What about him?”

“He needs to go.” I toss the folder into Zupp’s lap. He catches it in surprise. “Go on,” I encourage. “Take a look.”

The investigative report that Tom prepared has no names, merely ages, dates, times, locations, and genders. The pictures included all have the faces pixelated with the exception of Chip’s.

Coach’s face goes from blustery red to chalk white. “What the hell is this?”

“This is the tip of the iceberg that our expensive, state of the art ship is heading toward. We either get rid of the iceberg or suffer a fatal crash,” I say bluntly.

“How’d you get this?”

“I paid an investigator to look into it.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to win.” I don’t specificy what I want to win at. Let Coach draw his own conclusions. “And this is going to keep us from winning. I thought I’d bring it to you before I go to the front office.” In other words, if Coach doesn’t immediately fire Chip, then I’m taking it up the ladder and the front office guys are not going to like it.

“So I fire him? Right before the season starts?” Coach Zupp starts sweating.

“You fire him,” I confirm.

“When?”

“Today.”

“Today?” He balks. “We have our first game in two days. The distraction will be …”

“I’m meeting with Garrett Williams today at 3. If I don’t hear that Chip’s been fired by that time, this entire file,” I tap the folder on his knees. “This entire file will be given to Williams.”

“Our team could suffer. Let’s get with PR to see how we should best handle this,” Coach suggests.

I get to my feet. “You have until 3.”

And then I walk out.

The post Lainey’s List Chapter Fifty-Three appeared first on Author Jen Frederick.

Lainey’s List Chapter Fifty-Two

Want an easier way to catch up on Lainey’s List? Read it on Wattpad here!

Lainey

“You’re parents are amazing, Charlie.” I lean over to pin another flower in Charlotte’s hair. “The way your dad looks at your mom—like it’s the first time he’s laid eyes on her, and he can’t bear to look away—is swoon worthy.”

Charlie wrinkles her nose. “They get to be a little much; both them and Nate’s parents. I swear Uncle Noah and Aunt Grace were fooling around in the car before they got to the rehearsal dinner.”

I hide a smirk under the guise of searching for the right-sized sprig to stick into the bride’s bun. Grace Jackson’s lipstick did appear to be smeared when they arrived at the swanky downtown Chicago restaurant but, whereas, my friend and her fiancé might be squirming from embarrassment, I think it’s beyond adorable and inspirational. These two couples have been married over twenty years each. I didn’t know my father, and my mother never remarried. I was raised in a household of bitter women who hated and distrusted men.

Maybe if I’d met Nick’s parents sooner, I would’ve understood what a truly good man he was. Instead, I viewed his playboy behavior through the lens of my past negative experiences. I wish I’d been more open-minded.

“You look gorgeous.” I stick the last of the flowers in Charlie’s hair and bend down to plant my face next to hers. We stare at each other in the mirror. My best friend is marrying her childhood sweetheart today, a boy who needed nine fucking years to get his head on straight. Would I have had the patience for that? “You deserve so much happiness, sweetie.”

Tears glisten in her eyes. “Do I? Sometimes I feel like I have too much in my life, and everything that has happened is some kind of leavening effect.”

“You mean the cancer?”

She nods, the tears slipping down. I dab them carefully away. “No. You’re going to beat it. You did before. We all love you too much to let you go.”

I slip my arms around her slender shoulders and squeeze her tight.

Her head falls down to press against my head. “I love you, Lainey.” She takes a deep calming breath and stands up. “You know that your happily ever after is waiting for you. I hope you don’t wait too long to grab it.”

_______________

The wedding is beautiful—an absolute spectacle, although surprisingly small in scale given the wealth of the two families involved. I’ve never seen Charlotte so happy. The couple recites their own vows. The heartfelt emotions that ring in each word bring tears to the eyes of everyone present. I keep my own gaze locked to the floor, afraid of what others might see in them. From across the aisle, though, the intense stare of Nick bores into me.

It’s impossible to ignore him for long. He corners me during the reception as I take a break from dancing with Cassidy.

“How are you holding up?” He asks, shoving a champagne flute into my empty hand.

“My feet are beginning to hurt.” I lean back against the wall and wiggle my toes in the white satin, red-soled shoes that Charlie insisted on buying—so we matched, she’d said. “But this is the best party I’ve ever been to.” Cassidy is running in a circle with a few other kids at the edge of the dance floor that had been laid on top of the grass. “Your home is beautiful.”

“I actually grew up in the city. Dad bought this place for Mom, and we’d come out here on the weekends, take the boat out onto the lake, roast a few marshmallows on the beach, make huge piles of leaves.” He eyes the magnificent estate with a fond, familiar glance.

“Your mom didn’t mind you tracking all the dirt and stuff into her house?”

“Nah. The dirtier the better. Besides,” he smiles impishly and my heart does a flip, “she had two boys. It was either accept that her home would be a tornado or live every day in despair.”

“Well, she looks amazing so I’m guessing she didn’t spend the last twenty odd years in despair.” I sip on my champagne. “That’s not the face of someone who’s spent much time, if any, dwelling on unhappy things.” We both take in his mother’s beautiful face. Grace isn’t a classic beauty, by any means, but the peace and happiness that is imbued in every atom makes her glow like an angel. Noah can’t keep his eyes off of her.

Nick slouches beside me. “Speaking of unhappy things, how is our girl doing?” He nods toward Cassidy.

“She’s handling it pretty well.” Grandmama had passed away in her sleep a week ago. I’d told Mama but I don’t think she understood. “If Grandma had been a bigger influence in her life, it might have affected her on a deeper level,” I admit. In that, I suppose, there was a small blessing for being kicked out of the house when I’d discovered I was pregnant.

“I take it you haven’t told Charlie yet?”

My gaze swings toward my beautiful friend who is on the other side of the room; one arm linked through her gorgeous, uniformed husband’s while the other clasps the hand of a well-wisher.

“I’ll tell her after the honeymoon.” Charlie is in the midst of cancer treatments, a hospital room kitted out in this very house. The last thing she needed to be concerned about was the death of my grandmother, an unhappy woman who passed on because of old age and bitterness.

“She’ll be upset,” Nick predicts.

“I’ll deal with that when the time comes. Besides, I’m betting Nate will have made her so blissful that any sharp edges will have been worn down by the time she floats her way toward me.”

Nick snorts into his glass. “I talked to my parents. They want to take Cassidy for a while.”

“What for?” My cheeks burn at the thought of Nick talking to his parents about our sex life. As if the things we did were so crazy, she couldn’t be in the same zip code.

Nick tilts his head so I’m forced to look him in the eye. “Lainey,” he says with a hint of impatience, “the only thing that’s keeping us apart is Chip. Let’s have my parents watch Cassidy while we work out the Chip problem. If he goes away, you won’t have any excuses left.”

I push away from the wall in indignation. “That’s not fair. I’m not using Chip as an excuse. He’s a real thing. A real danger to my right to custody of Cassidy.”

Nick drags a hand down his face. “You’re right. That was a stupid word but the point is we need to get rid of him.”

“What are you gonna do? Have you brother’s SEAL team take him out?” He’s silent for so long that I nudge him with my shoe. “Nick!”

“Sorry,” he gives me a crooked grin, “I was indulging in a little fantasy.” He straightens as well, taking my now empty glass and tucking it into his suit pocket. “But you’re right. We can’t actually do that since I can’t win football games from prison. Or maybe I could but not the right ones. So let’s strategize.”

“In the middle of your brother’s wedding reception?” I ask in disbelief. Yet, I trot right behind him until we stop at an abandoned table.

“Yup. You’re not going to leave Cassidy, and my mom would kill me if I left before the wedding party, so let’s use our time wisely.” He pulls out a chair and points at it.

With a huge sigh, I lift up my frothy blue skirt and take a seat. He positions himself next to me so we can both keep an eye on Cassidy.

“The dilemma we have here is that Chip is a bitter dickhole who wants to prevent you from being happy. Why?”

“I don’t think it’s me,” I say. “At first, it was. In the beginning, he didn’t want to be saddled with a groupie and her kid. He paid me off.” I slide my eyes toward Nick who seems completely unperturbed by my admission.

At my pause, he jerks his head around from Cassidy to me. “What? Am I supposed to think less of you for that? The guy had a multi-million dollar contract and wouldn’t step up to raise his own child. You shouldn’t feel one ounce of guilt. I’d have taken that money. I think I’d have less respect for you if you’d turned it down.”

“Oh,” I say in small voice. My heart swells to almost unimaginable proportions.

“Back to your theory…” he prompts.

“Right. My theory.” I pin my eyes on Cassidy’s wild curls because if I look at Nick, I’ll either attack him or completely break down. “After you and Charlie came to town and we got to be close, I think he was worried that I’d make him look bad. He wanted me to keep my mouth shut about our connection and threatened to take Cassidy away from me if I didn’t. He had gone to a lawyer and recorded it. Later, he played the recording for me. Basically, the lawyer said that I could be shown to be unfit and that I’d lose Cassidy.”

“But then he’d be awarded custody, and he can’t want that,” Nick points out.

“True. I guess I wasn’t thinking it through. Now though, I think he wants to punish you. You’ve taken his place. You won where he failed, and if he has any inkling about how you feel,” I blush and my eyes fall to my hands. It sounds so presumptuous when I say it out loud. That Nick has feelings for me.

His larger hand covers mine. “How I love you, Lainey? Is that what Chip believes my feelings are?” His legs shift closer, the black wool of his tuxedo pants coming into my still downcast view. “Because he’d be right. I do love you. And I love Cassidy. I want us to build a life together, and if that means tearing Chip down, sending my brother’s SEAL team after him, or destroying his reputation, then I’m all for it.”

Wetness pools in my eyes. I can’t look at Nick because if I do, I’ll start bawling. I tell him as much. “You can’t say those things to me,” I whisper hoarsely.

“Why?”

“Because I’ve wanted to hear them for so long.” I raise our clasped hands to my mouth. “Because I love you, too. Whatever it takes to remove Chip from our lives, I’m in for.”

His free hand cups my face, a thumb brushing away the tears of joy that I can’t stop. “All right. We’re in this together now, Lainey. No backing out. No running away. If you do, I’m coming after you.”

“Promise?” I say with a watery smile.

His eyes darken. “Promise.”

The post Lainey’s List Chapter Fifty-Two appeared first on Author Jen Frederick.

Lainey’s List Chapter Fifty-One

Want an easier way to catch up on Lainey’s List? Read it on Wattpad here!

Nick

I have a sloppy practice because my mind’s not focused on throwing the ball downfield. It’s on not tearing Chip into tiny pieces in front of my coaches but my performance gives me a good reason to hail him afterward.

“Chip, you got a minute?” I ask after the trainer is done taping three bags of ice to my shoulder and arm.

He halts on his way down the hall. “Sure. You seemed distracted today. Want to go over some film?”

Yeah but not the kind you’re thinking of. “Something like that.” I hop off the training table. “Thanks, Mike.”

“No problem, man. Just cautionary, you know. Everything looks good.” He pats one bag of ice with a self-satisfied smile.

“Want to come to my office?” Chip asks. Chip’s office is shared with the other offensive coaches, and there are always people in and out of it.

“Nah, how about here?” I dip my head toward the media room, which is currently empty. The reporters have left to file their stories for the day or are waiting outside to ambush someone. No press conferences are scheduled, so it’s probably the quietest place in the building today.

Chip frowns for a moment and then agrees, “Sure.”

Before we go in, though, my phone rings. I ignore it but it starts up again immediately. I pull it out and see that it’s Lainey. Deciding to talk to her later, I pocket the phone and hold open the door for Chip.

As he walks into the room, the phone rings again.

“Do you need to get that?”

I huff a sigh and look at the screen again. This time, it’s Nate. Since he calls about once a year, I figure I have to take it.

“What?” I bark into the phone.

“Catch you at a bad time?”

“Actually, yes.” I cast an impatient look toward Chip who’s fiddling with his own phone.

“Well, get rid of the girl because I have something to tell you.”

I draw back and look at the phone because Nate sounds like he’s a five year-old on the night before Christmas.

“What’s that?”

“Charlotte and I are getting married,” he announces. “I know I should drive over and see you but Charlotte’s telling her mom, and you know how fast shit flows down the family tree.”

The news is startling. I shouldn’t be surprised but I find that I am. “Congrats, man, when’s the wedding?”

“Soon. I’ve wasted all this time. If I had my way, we’d be down at City Hall but the moms are going to want an actual shindig. You can make it right?” he asks, satisfaction oozing from every word.

“As long as it’s before the season, I can do it.”

“Roger that.” He sounds happy. I hope Charlie is, too. Although, how can she not be? This is what she’s wanted since forever.

The enormity of it hits me, and I slump against the wall. “I didn’t believe you would ever do it.”

“I know. Thank you for keeping her safe for me.”

“I did it for her.”

“Hey, man, did you want to talk to me?”

I look up in surprise. I’d forgotten Chip was there. I nod. “Nate, congratulations. I’m thrilled for both of you. I’ve got to go, though.”

“Sure. Dinner tomorrow night?”

“Um, okay.” That’s not what I had planned but shit happens.

“Great. I’ll text you the details later.”

I hang up and open my mouth to address Chip when the phone rings again. Chip shakes his head.

“Why don’t you call me when you have a free moment,” he says and walks out the door.

Frustrated and a little confused as to why I’m not happier for my brother, I answer the phone.

“Hi, it’s Lainey.”

I swallow back my irritation, “Hi, honey.”

“Did you hear the news?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m so happy,” she exhales, a giddy, sweet sound. “I wanted to catch you before you went home and saw Charlie. I don’t want her to know about what’s going on between us. She’ll get distracted, and these next few weeks should be all about her and Nate.”

I drag a hand down my face. “You’re right. They do need some time to themselves.”

“This is good, right? You sound…off.”

“I had a shit practice and was about to confront Chip so y’all just caught me at a bad time; but, yeah, obviously, I couldn’t be happier.”

“You don’t sound it,” she says flatly. “Are you upset because you’re losing Charlie?”

The last words are barbed with innuendo. Are you in love with Charlie? “No, that’s not it at all,” I push back. “I was caught off-guard. I want both Charlie and Nate to be happy but they made each other—and everyone in this family—miserable for nine years. Pardon me for being cautiously optimistic,” I snap.

“It’s destiny,” Lainey replies softly. “This is meant to be.”

“Like you and me, Lainey. We’re meant to be, too. Why else do our lives keep intersecting?”

She falls quiet for a moment. “Yes, I believe that, too. I want us to be together but—“

“But what, Lainey?” I ask impatiently.

“If it were just you and me, I’d say to hell with the consequences. But we’ve got Cassidy, and I’m willing to sacrifice nearly anything to protect her. I’ve never fully told you everything about Chip. I’m willing to do that so we can make a plan of attack. But we can’t do it now. Not while our best friend is planning the happiest day of her life.”

Inwardly, I sigh. She’s right. I’m going to focus on all the positive things, be happy for my brother and life long friend, and focus on our tomorrows. “All right. We’re going to dinner with Charlie and Nate tomorrow. After dinner, let’s talk.”

“It’s a plan.”

But as they say, the best-laid plans are worthless because the very next day, our lives fall apart.

__________

“Charlie’s cancer is back,” Nate tells me on the phone.

My mind immediately rejects this. “I’m coming down.”

“No. She’s sleeping. She needs to rest.”

I need to see her, as if her cancer will be written on her forehead, and until I see that actual proof, I won’t believe it. I spend ten minutes arguing with Nate but he’s implacable. I stumble downstairs anyway, finding my way to Lainey who opens her door and lets me fall into her arms. We collapse onto the sofa, where I clutch her close. Her tears mix with my own.

“God-fucking-damn,” I rail. “Haven’t they both suffered enough? If Nate loses her, it’ll kill him. Those nine years, he’s been a ghost.” All those missions that Charlie and I would worry about, all those dark days when we didn’t hear from Nate, all those sleepless nights are culminating in this? It’s too much.

“I know, babe. I know.” She drags her hands down my back.

I find I’m desperate for her. I tear at her clothes. “Where’s Cassidy?” I ask between open-mouthed, desperate kisses.

“At a friend’s. She didn’t need to see me fall apart.” Lainey’s lashes are dotted with tears. I kiss them away but new ones form. It’s a never-ending spigot.

Maybe this isn’t the best idea. I try to pull away but she clutches my shoulders and drags me back. “I need this just as much as you,” she whispers against my neck.

I give an abrupt nod before pulling a condom out of my pocket. Her hands shove down my jeans. Mine pull at her stretchy pants until her lower half is bare. Sex this time isn’t about pleasure but comfort. I find relief in her warmth, and she finds solace in my strength. After, we lay there on the narrow sofa, wrapped in each other, but not finding any true peace. Our best friend might be dying, and there’s nothing we can do about it.

The post Lainey’s List Chapter Fifty-One appeared first on Author Jen Frederick.

Lainey’s List Chapter Fifty

Want an easier way to catch up on Lainey’s List? Read it on Wattpad here!

Lainey

“You look weird,” Reese comments as he slides into the seat across from me. “Like happy and worried at the same time. Is this post-coital regret?” He taps a finger against his lips.

I open my mouth to assert an automatic protest but instead, I find myself admitting, “I’m not sure if regret is the right word but worry is.”

“Tell Papa Reese about it.”

I roll the coffee cup in my hand and give him an abbreviated rundown of last night’s events. “I slept with Nick, kind of told him I loved him, and then he stormed off to see Chip.”

Reese stands up.

“Where are you going?” I ask in a panic. I just backed my emotional dump truck to the table and spilled everything in my head, and he’s leaving?

“Lainey, I need a drink to have this conversation. And since it’s nine in the morning and even alcoholics have the decency to wait until noon, I’m going to get a shot of espresso.”

Thankfully, I don’t have to wait long for Reese to get enough caffeine in his body. He apologizes the minute he sits down, carrying another flat black to the table along with a bagel. “I was out all last night and had passed out, literally, about two hours before you called.” He stretches his arms out, shakes them like a prizefighter about to enter a bout, and then turns his stunning smile on me. “So you decided your bucket list was too long to check off things one at a time? Is that what happened?”

“I’m sorry I woke you up,” I glare at him. “Maybe you should go back to bed until you’re human again.”

“No chance. I’ve got about a liter of caffeine in me. I may never sleep again.” He grabs my hand. “Seriously, though, I’m happy for you. But since you’re not smiling, I’m wondering if I’m going to need to kick Nick’s ass.”

“It’s mine you’re going to have to kick. That’s why I called you first thing this morning.” After I dropped Cassidy off at her morning play date, I called Reese and asked him to meet me at the Starbucks on Tenth, just down the street from the Mustangs’ facility. I didn’t care that he sounded groggy and out of it. I needed to talk to someone immediately. “I need advice and going to Charlotte is out of the question.”

“That’s true,” Reese concedes, buttering his bagel. “She’s in the midst of her own drama, what with her childhood sweetheart tearing his head out of his ass after nine years. Let’s get your situation unstuck so that we can all work together on finding my one true love.”

My eyes grow wide. “Are you seeing someone, Reese?” This is news to me.

“No, but if you two are pairing off, then I don’t want to be the odd man out.” He furrows his brows lightly. “The Jackson boys don’t have a third brother they are hiding, do they? Maybe a cousin?”

“I don’t think so. Their dad is an only child.”

“Dammit.”

“There’s Charlie’s friend, Colin,” I remind Reese.

“He’s unrelentingly heterosexual. It’s not just an act for the cameras.” Reese fake pouts.

“Bummer,” I sympathize. As a movie star, Colin wouldn’t be the first to hide in the closet to better his box office receipts but I’ll take Reese’s word for Colin’s sexual preference. His radar is rarely wrong. I sometimes think that instinct was honed from birth, a sort of Darwinist self-preservation tendency.

“Back to you. Why not just tell Nick everything like you told me and Charlotte?” Reese suggests.

“Because you and Charlie can keep your mouths shut and your hands idle. I know you wanted to take this issue up with Chip but it would’ve been disastrous. He has recordings,” I remind Reese. “But I don’t feel like I can explain this to Nick. He’d want to pat me on the head and declare that he’ll take care of it all.”

“That’s true but if you really plan to have a future with Nick, you have to figure out how to talk to him. The whole reason you two have a fucked up relationship is because you never talk to each other.” Reese shoves half of his bagel into his mouth.

“I know, and it’s primarily my fault.” I stare glumly at my to-go cup. “But it’s not like I haven’t thought this through. Nick goes after Chip. Chip comes after me. There’s a huge, ugly, public fight over Cassidy, over my breaking the NDA. Then Nick is forever tied to me as this whore. Can you imagine if the pictures were publicized?” I shudder. “They’d be on every website. When you searched his name or mine or even Cassidy’s, it’d be one of the first results that popped up. Cassidy’s not yet at the age where this matters but she will be in a few years. How great will it be when she goes to school and some little punk tells her that he’s seen her mom screwing a bunch of dudes?”

Reese’s face pales as he travels down the dark path that has tormented me for years. I swipe at the corners of my eyes. No need to start bawling in the middle of a coffee shop.

“I stayed away for months, and now that I’m back, I don’t want to leave again. I don’t want to be away from Nick or you or Charlie. I want Cassidy to grow up with all of you around. I don’t care if I just get Nick for a short time, that my time with him is fleeting, or that I’m a dark hidden secret. I’d rather be a secret than have it all exposed like it would be.”

I raise my anguished eyes to Reese who scoots his chair around the table so he’s right next to me.

“But maybe that’s not enough for him,” Reese says gently, putting an arm around my shoulders.

“I know,” I shudder. “That’s what worries me. Tell me how to get through to Nick. I don’t want to hurt him, and I can’t stay away. So what do I tell him?”

“Tell him everything you just told me. Lay it out for him.”

“What would you do if a man came to you and said these things?”

Reese shakes his head. “I don’t know. I truly don’t but I believe every person has a price and every person has a breaking point. Chip knows yours. You need to find his. Now, go call Nick and tell him you need to talk to him after practice and before he talks to Chip.”

I close my eyes and nod. I’ve wanted to avoid this. It’s one thing to talk in vague terms about your sordid past, and entirely another to lay out each dirty, ugly detail. In order to convince Nick to leave Chip alone, I’ll need to be open and honest, and it scares me. But the alternative is worse. The alternative is to lose everything—Nick, Cassidy, and my friends.

Reese walks me back to my car and gives me a hug. “For courage,” he whispers before trotting across the street to his vehicle.

With shaky hands, I text Nick.

We need to talk. Please call me before you confront Chip. It’s super important. I should have said something last night.

I tuck my phone away, hoping and praying I’m not too late.

The post Lainey’s List Chapter Fifty appeared first on Author Jen Frederick.

Lainey’s List Chapter Forty-Nine

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Lainey

I take a deep breath and climb my fingers up Nick’s still frame. His chest is tight, as if he’s holding in a breath. I place a kiss above his heart and lay my head against his chest. His heart thuds against my ear.

He wants me. Although, I’ve always known he wanted me physically. That has never been an issue.

But tonight, there’s something more there. His hand comes up to cup the back of my head. With a little tug, he has me looking up into his face.

“You sure?” he asks. His voice is husky and warm.

“Are you?”

Whatever his reservations were, they are burned away by my touch, my plea, and his want. “Yeah, but there’s no turning back.” The hand in my hair tightens. “This way is forward only, Lainey. We do this and we figure it out together, or we have to be done. For both our sakes.”

It’s a risk. Loving him has never been safe. I’ve tried to turn away from those feelings for so long but I’m done running. “Do you want me to find someone else?”

“Do that and I’ll kill him.”

His mouth finds mine with hunger. His lips are a fierce slash against my mouth, moving with a predatory intent he hasn’t shown before. My shirt is over my head before I draw another breath, our lips barely breaking contact.

He shoves me back up on the counter and delves lower to capture one erect nipple between his teeth. Heat sears through me as he sucks hard, drawing on that invisible cord from my breasts to my core. I feel alive in a way that only he manages to conjure. Every inch of me is vibrating in anticipation of his next kiss, his next bite, his next touch.

I stroke my hands over the thick muscles in his back, tracing his shoulder blades, meeting at the indentation of his spine. He tenses under my light caress, his rib cage expanding and contracting rapidly as if he can’t get enough air into his lungs.

“Nick, bedroom,” I plead. I need to get him horizontal because the contact I have right now isn’t cutting it. I want him draped all over me, skin to skin, so that every part of my body is connecting with every part of his body. Maddeningly, he resists my urgings. He releases one breast to take up the torture of the other one.

I scoot off the counter to get closer to him but he pushes me back. Diving lower, he traces a hot, wet line down my belly to the top of my pants. Desire pulses through me, lighting up my trigger points. With a rough tug, he pulls my pants and underwear down to my ankles. I kick them off. He spreads my legs with his wide shoulders and then presses a hot, intimate kiss against me.

“I’ve wanted this for so long, Lainey. Wanted you. Waited for you. Now you’re going to wait for me.”

“If this is torture, sign me up,” I croak.

He laughs, soft puffs of air hitting my tender, private spots, making me squirm against the counter. He places soft kisses along my inner thighs, down to the backs of my knees. Electric current chases up and down, thickening my blood, making my heartbeat pound hard in my ears. My senses are flooded with him as he takes me apart, one tender kiss at a time.

“I lied,” I whimper when he bypasses my clit for the hundredth time. “I don’t like this torture. You’re killing me.”

He chuckles again. “We can’t have that.” He slides his hands under my butt and pulls me to the very edge of the counter. “You need to be alive for what happens next.”

But then he slays me with his tongue. He primed me so well that one lick and I’m cast out over the edge. And as I’m quivering from my release, he feasts on me, not allowing one moment of respite before pushing me off the cliff again. He works my center as if it’s his private playing field, one that he knows as intimately as his own body. I raise a fist to my mouth to muffle my cries, sobbing my release against my own hand.

He rises, then, looming above me. His face is granite hard and his irises have turned obsidian black with naked desire. I attack his pants, whipping off the buckle, pushing down his underwear until his long, hard, beautiful shaft springs free.

“Take me, Nick.”

He fishes a condom out of his back pocket and rolls it down with one hand. He takes hold of himself and guides his broad head between my rosy, swollen, lower lips. “Look at us,” he orders in a raspy voice. “Look at how hard I am for you.” I gulp at the pornographic sight of his cock piercing my body. “I own you from now on, Lainey.”

The possessiveness in his voice thrills me. “Then don’t make me wait another second.”

He thrusts into me with so much force that my head would’ve hit the cabinets if he hadn’t jerked me forward at the same time. Our mouths collide in a wet, hot impact. He hammers into me with such ferocity that I can’t find anything strong enough to brace myself against. Finally, I give up and cling to him, wrapping my legs around him and reveling in every rough pass of his hard body as it pushes against mine.

It’s a violent coming together because we’ve pushed these wants and desires aside for so long. We’ve tried to sublimate them beneath a layer of friendship and a coating of civility when, in all reality, we’ve panted like animals in heat after one another.

So we can’t be slow, savoring each moment. We’re too desperate, and it shows in the way my nails scrape and dig into his flesh, in the way his mouth slants proprietorially over mine, in the way his cock drives sharply into my body. I let him claim me, and in return, I mark him as mine.

The intense pleasure overwhelms me. Our bodies strike against each other, like the scrape of a flint against a rock, sending sparks into the air. We take them in, stoking the heat until it entirely engulfs us, burning us to ash and bringing us back to life. What control I have over my body gives way and I forget where I am, who I am, until I crash back to earth—a sweaty, exhausted, fully drained mess.

I rest my forehead against Nick’s shoulder as he pounds into me, until he finds his own release moments later. I hold him as his large, sinewy, utterly male frame shudders against me.

“Lainey, fucking hell,” he curses, setting my ass back on the counter. It’s cold without his hands. I feel empty after he withdraws but at least I’m sitting. He rests what seems like his entire weight on one arm next to me. “I’m weak in the knees,” he confesses with an irresistible smile.

“I’m glad I’m sitting down,” I admit. I stroke a palm lightly against the hard curve of his jaw, running a finger across his reddened lower lip that looks as if I bit it too hard. “Did I hurt you?”

He purses his lips and presses a kiss against my finger. “Not even close.”

With obvious reluctance, he steps away to take care of the condom. He tosses me my pants and undies, neither which I want to slip on over my current state, but I slip off the counter and don the pants anyway. He tugs his jeans into place and then zips up, not bothering to button the top of them closed. I can see a whisper of his hair and the erotic sight has my whole body clenching again.

“Oh no, don’t look at me like that,” he warns.

“Like what?” I ask innocently.

“Like you want to go another round.”

I shrug. “So what if I do?”

He leans down to give me a quick kiss. “Because then I’ll stay and you won’t be able to get rid of me.”

“Is that supposed to be a threat? Because if so, it’s not terribly effective.” I smooth a hand down his arm, enjoying the solid feel of his muscles under my palm.

“No, it’s a promise I plan to keep after you explain all of this to Cassidy, and we work out a plan to ease her into having me around more.”

My hand halts mid-stroke. “She’s already used to having Uncle Nick around.”

“I don’t want to be Cassidy’s uncle, Lainey. I’m talking about something more permanent.” A crease forms on his beautiful forehead. “Is that going to be a problem?”

I drop my hand from his arm and step back. “I…we can have all of this without a change in your status to Cassidy.” I try to recall the exact terms of my agreement with Chip. The stuff about staying away from Nick and Charlie weren’t part of the original agreement. They weren’t even around when I’d taken the original blood money. They were merely an effective threat he’d thrown in my face later. I don’t even know if Cassidy could be adopted, if that’s what Nick is talking about.

“No.” He says implacably. “But I tell you what. I’ll fix that problem you can’t talk about.”

He swipes his keys up and walks away, his long strides carrying him to the door in quick order. I chase after him. “Nick, wait. What are you going to say? I could…Cassidy could be taken away from me. As much as I want you, I can’t trade her. I won’t.” My eyes beg him for understanding.

“You won’t have to.”

And with those cryptic words, he’s gone.

The post Lainey’s List Chapter Forty-Nine appeared first on Author Jen Frederick.

Lainey’s List Chapter Forty-Eight

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Nick

Lainey’s eyes meet mine and suddenly it becomes crystal clear. Out of all the people in this huge world, the friend I’d abandoned so many years ago was her. I simultaneously want to shrink into the kitchen tile and jump up for joy.

“It was you, wasn’t it?”

“I think so. Godkiller?”

Hearing my nickname makes me flush. What a self-important prick I was. “Fuck, I was a tool back then.”

“No. You were wonderful,” she says immediately. The glow of appreciation in her eyes seems to genuine. “You remember when I made up all those nicknames for the clans?”

I grin. “Yup. I do. Someone was an asshole to you.”

“And you defended me.” She took a sip of her wine.

In the brief moment of silence, the enormity of it all hits me. I’m glad my ass is resting against the counter or I’d be flat on the floor.

“Why didn’t you say anything? How long have you known?” A whirlwind of emotion swirls inside of me. Shame that I’d treated someone so callously. Anger that she knew and didn’t tell me. Elation that we’d reconnected.

“I didn’t know right away. It took to put all the details together, and, frankly, until you just said that you were Godkiller, it was still only a theory.” She pours herself another glass as if she needs more booze to sustain her through this conversation.

“I did try to email you,” I offer in weak defense. I hadn’t totally abandoned her, but I had gone a long time between responses. I wasn’t surprised when she didn’t reply. “You didn’t respond.”

“I know. I’d—“ she stops and shakes her head.

“Tell me,” I order. Might as well lance that boil. I brace myself.

“It’s nothing, now that I look back at it.” She folds her hands in her lap and stares down at them. Her voice is so soft; I strain to hear her words. “I was lonely. Of course, that’s always my excuse, isn’t it? I was weak, actually. And I built up castles in my head made of clouds and sand,” she gulps. And tears, too, I’d guess. “And so I turned myself inside out.”

“What happened?”

“I heard you with a girl. You must’ve hit a button on the controller and the sound was activated. I heard you and… my silly dreams were dashed.”

I wince. That was bad. Way worse than I thought. “So you hated me at first sight?”

“No. Not at all.”

“That’s a relief.” I watch as she rolls the thin stem between her fingers. “I’m sorry. I wish I hadn’t acted that way.”

“Oh, Nick. We were kids. There’s nothing to be sorry for.”

“Then why is there this distance between us?” The ten or so tiles between us is a gulf too big. I push away from the counter and reach her in two long strides. With arms caging her in, I ask, “Why do you throw up these barriers, always keeping me at arms-length?”

She sets the glass aside sharply and jabs me in the chest with a pointed finger. “You say that like you’ve always wanted to be my man, but that isn’t remotely true. When you got here, you were looking to have fun. Nothing more.”

I grab that finger and bring it to my mouth. “Okay,” I say against her hand. “That’s true back then, but it’s not true now. I want to be part of your life and part of Cassidy’s life. Will you let me in?”

Her hand stiffens in my clasp and then her fingers curl around mine. “There are things in my life, mistakes I’ve made, that dictate my path right now. I’ve got to think of Cassidy first so it doesn’t matter what you or I want.”

“You’re talking about Chip, aren’t you?” I draw her hand up to my shoulder and then slide her body forward until I’m positioned in the cradle of her thighs. “Tell me about him and you and Cassidy. Is he her dad?”

Her head dips down. “I can’t say.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“Can’t.”

So Chip made her sign an NDA. Some players did that, and it’s smart. That way you could have a relationship and not worry that if it went south, it would come back to bite you. It’s not unreasonable to ask for a non-disclosure agreement. I didn’t fault Chip for that. It’s his continued denial of Cassidy as his kid—for that, Chip was scum.

“All right. Where do we go from here?” I’m not going to get anywhere with Lainey on this topic. I’m going to have to go to the other party. Frankly, I’m looking forward to that. Chip has a helluvalot to answer for.

“I don’t know.” She sounds miserable which actually makes me feel a tad better. She wants to be with me, but is afraid of what might happen if we are. No, strike that. She’s afraid of what might happen to her kid.

“You know I adore Cassidy. I’m not going to let anything bad happen to her.” I lift Lainey’s chin so her eyes can see the sincerity in mine. “Do you believe me?”

Her brown eyes are a pool of want and uncertainty. I want to eradicate the worry and satiate her desire. I want to make love to my boyhood friend and make the connection we formed so many years ago into unbreakable bonds. Unfortunately, tonight isn’t the time.

“Look, Lainey, I want to win another championship so everyone doesn’t think this one’s a fluke. Good defense is the only reason we won. I want to actually win it. I want Nate and Charlotte to find happiness. I want my entire family to die of old age. I want things to work out between you and me. Can we give that a shot?”

“I can try, but—”

I hold a hand up to her lips. “You leave Chip to me.”

I force myself to back away. Her eyes darken in confusion. “Are you leaving?”

“Yep. I’ve got business to take care of and besides, if I don’t, you’re going to have to explain to Cassidy why Uncle Nick is naked in your bed.”

She grimaces.

“I thought not. I’m going to leave now while I still can.” She half rises, but I stop her. “No, stay where you are or things are going to happen.”

A smile curves across her face. “Maybe I want things to happen.”

“Don’t try to seduce me, Lainey. It’s not going to work.”

She slides off the counter, ignoring my glare and my outstretched palm. “Do you really want to test that out?”

The post Lainey’s List Chapter Forty-Eight appeared first on Author Jen Frederick.

Chapter Forty-Seven

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Nick

Lainey throws me an amused glance when I walk into Cassidy’s bedroom. My face must still be showing my dismay.

“Overly aggressive cats in the parking garage?” she asks.

“You have no idea,” I murmur.

She smirks but her attention is dragged away by Cassidy, who chirps, “I wish we had a kitty, Mommy.” With a dozen stuffed animals arranged around her, Cassidy looks like she’s drowning in a mosh pit of fake fur and stuffing. If she had a cat, she’d lose it in the midst of all her toys.

“Some kitties are a lot of hassle, honey. Plus, who’d take care of it?”

“Uncle Nick and I could, right Uncle Nick?”

I settle at the end of the bed. “I dunno, princess. It would depend on the kitty.”

“Nick likes kitties that are low maintenance,” her mom says.

“What’s that?” An adorable furrow appears on Cassidy’s forehead.

“That’s the type of kitty that doesn’t need much attention,” says Lainey.

“I used to like those kitties. Now I think I like the prickly ones with claws.” I squeeze Cassidy’s toes. Her confusion only deepens.

“I want a soft kitty that sleeps right next to me.” She pats the belly of a purple stuffed alligator.

“You’d have to get rid of some of these or the kitty might be suffocated. Too many other toys can scare a kitty away.”  Lainey tucks the book she’d been reading into a basket under the nightstand.

“Oh no, I can’t get rid of any of my babies.” Cassidy’s little face crumples, and I want to promise her a thousand kitties right there; which is why I’m Uncle Nick—I have no impulse control. It is also why Lainey doesn’t want to take a chance on me. My whole past is coming back to bite me in the proverbial ass.

I smother a sigh as Lainey leans forward to give her frowning daughter a kiss on the forehead. “Then we can’t add any new ones, particularly a live one.”

Cassidy’s lower lip juts out. “That’s not fair.”

I take Lainey’s spot at the head of the bed and lean down to give Cassidy my own goodnight kiss. “I’ll take you out to the ducks tomorrow.”

“I wanna go pet kitty cats.”

I lightly pinch her pouting lower lip. “If we find one, you can pet it.”

“You’re no fun, Uncle Nick.”

Before I give in and agree to adopt a hundred cats, Lainey steps in. “All right, enough of that or one little girl will not be visiting the park tomorrow.”

Cassidy’s lower lip pushes out even farther before she apologizes. “Sorry. You’re the best.”

I smother a laugh at her sullen gratitude and lean down to give her another kiss. Lainey hits the lights, and we walk to the kitchen together.

“So you were right about Danielle,” I inform her.

“Wanted in your pants, did she?” Lainey pulls out a bottle of red wine from the refrigerator.

“I’ll take one of those.” I nod toward the bottle. “I figured that a woman who was more interested in me would be bad for Cassidy.”

“Maybe if you hadn’t come on to her, she wouldn’t have assumed you were available.”

“Yeah, maybe. I just didn’t want you and Cassidy to be taken advantage of. Like, what if you’d hired Danielle and later learned she was more interested in taking care of me instead of our princess. Isn’t it better to know at the start?”

Lainey freezes for a second. What’d I say this time? Oh, our princess.

But instead of asking me why the hell I’m referring to her kid as mine too, she asks, “So what happened downstairs?”

I wait for her to hand me my glass before answering. “Well, apparently, she didn’t drive but made me go all the way down to the parking garage. I’m not sure what she thought I was going to do. Throw her down on the cement floor?”

“She may have thought it was a good excuse for you to use for some alone time.”

“If I wanted alone time, wouldn’t I have just said, ‘Hey, meet me upstairs’?”

“It is late, so maybe she thought you would drop her off on your way home.”

“Girl knew everything about me down to my jock strap size so I’m sure she knows I live upstairs,” I take a healthy swallow of the Merlot. “It’s that damn website.”

Amused, Lainey peers over the edge of her wineglass. The Mustang Mommas is a website that is, unfortunately, filled with ladies who are filling up a bingo card with all the Mustangs they can corral. Quite a few of them have my name on their card.

As the silence drags on, I sigh, “No, I told you so?”

“You had good intentions.” She sips and then tilts her wineglass toward the ceiling. “Speaking of upstairs, are you down here to ensure I don’t interfere with Charlie and Nate’s reunion?”

“Nah, it’s more like I’m trying to avoid suffering permanent mental anguish from listening to the two of them have sex.” Charlie’s always been like my sister, and in the nine years Nate’s been gone, I’ve been blessedly free of any discomfiting sounds coming from Charlie’s bedroom. I don’t want to break that streak when it’s my brother in there with her.

Lainey pushes herself onto the counter, leaning her head against the upper cabinets. “When you first moved here, I thought for sure you two were a couple.”

“Everyone did. But she’s my sister. I don’t know why it was different for Nate, but it was.” It took me some time to wrap my head around that.

“Was it confusing for you?”

She must be reading my mind. “It still is. But, yeah, back then it was hard to understand it all. It didn’t help that Charlie was so sick, you know?” Lainey nods. I continue, “I did some stupid stuff, stuff that I’m not real proud of, to make myself feel alive.” Like sleep around, forget about the people who cared about me, and drink myself into oblivion.

Lost in my own thoughts, I don’t immediately realize that Lainey’s face has frozen weirdly. Is she put off by my comments? No, she’d never hold someone’s past against them. But maybe my reminisces are taking her back in time.

I consider her for a moment. Would me talking about my sketchy past, my mistakes, prompt a confession from her? I feel like if we could move beyond all the past shit, there’d be some kind of fresh foundation we could work off. And I suppose if that means me showing her that I was a callous dipshit, then that’s a risk I need to take.

I finish my wine, for courage, and then speak again. “While Nate and Charlotte were growing closer, all I could think about was that I was losing the two people closest to me. I looked up to Nate a lot. I still do. Before Charlotte, he’d always, um,” (How do I put this delicately?) “He’d always kind of taken advantage of all the opportunities available to him.”

“You mean he was a manwhore,” Lainey supplies.

“Okay, if you want to put labels on it. He didn’t say no, and I didn’t either. And then when Charlie got really sick, I started actively pursuing girls, as many of them as I could. I’d make connections, then drop them right away. I did it repeatedly even when I got to college. I was still doing it when I came here. When we hooked up the first time, Lainey, I wasn’t in a good mental place.”

Her eyes drop to inspect the bottom of her wineglass. Softly, she says, “I know that. Neither was I. But I wanted it. You. I wanted you.”

I sigh, grateful that she admitted it but not so dumb that I can’t hear a sliver of pain in her voice.

“Have you ever tried to get in contact with any of the people in your past?” she asks.

“No, I’ve largely tried to forget about it. There’s really only one person I regret. Before Charlie got sick, I used to play this online video game. I got sort of close with one of the players.” I laugh to myself. “I thought the player was a guy at first but it turned out to be a girl. We started communicating outside the game. She had a rough upbringing. She never complained about it but from the small things she shared, I knew that our emails and texts meant a lot to her. And I just cut her off one day. Stopped replying to her. Just…sort of discarded her like all those times we’d connected had meant nothing.”

Now I’m the one staring into the bottom of my empty wineglass because even though that was years ago, I’m still ashamed of how I acted. I’d hurt that person, and because I never cared enough to find out who she really was, there was no way for me to hunt her down and apologize.

“So if you could find that person, what would you say?”

“That I was sorry. That her support meant a lot. And that I still remember her; whereas, I can’t conjure up even one face of any of those other girls I slept with in an effort to forget about the madness of my life.”

“I think she’d say she forgave you. That is, if you did find her.”

There’s a strange quality in her voice, a hushed, happy, poignant tone that raises the hairs on the back of my neck. Slowly, I lift my eyes to meet hers. “How do you know?”

The post Chapter Forty-Seven appeared first on Author Jen Frederick.

Lainey’s List Chapter Forty-six

Want an easier way to catch up on Lainey’s List? Read it on Wattpad here!

Nick

“You still mad at me?” Nate asks.

A cigar dangles between his fingers. He brought them with him when he came from California—Cuban contraband—as a sort of peace offering.

“Don’t screw it up, and I won’t be.” I take a long drag off mine, letting the smoke stream out in front of me.

“I don’t plan to.”

“Did you plan to break Charlotte’s heart originally?”

A plane roars overhead, giving Nate a momentary reprieve; but when the skies clear, he’s ready to talk. “I messed up, and I’m sorry. To you. To Charlotte. To our families. That thing back in high school made me question my judgment. I’d wanted to do something with my life other than being Noah Jackson’s son. I didn’t have your arm, and I had zero interest in building things or moving money from one account to another. I had to show you all that I was worth something. At least, that’s what I thought.”

That thing back in high school was Nate getting drunk and two girls taking advantage of him. It was sick and wrong, and Charlotte never would’ve held it against him. Just like I don’t hold anything that went on between Lainey and Chip against her.

“We love you, man; always have and always will.”

The corner of his mouth turns up. “Yeah, I know. I think the longer I was gone, the harder it was to come back, you know?”

“I know.” Because shame’s a powerful emotion. It drove Nate away from his family, and it prevents Lainey from accepting that she’s a person who can be loved. She can’t get over her past. But then, it took Nate nine years to face his family, so can I judge her?

“You come out here a lot?” My brother gestures toward the airfield.

“Nah, but I figured it’d be one place I could have a smoke with you in peace.” I push off the front bumper. “Should we get back? We’re supposed to take the ladies to the bar tonight.”

“Ladies?” He drops the cigar and grinds his boot into the lit end before picking it up and tucking it into the empty beer can.

“Lainey, Reese, and Charlie.”

“Reese know you call him a lady?”

“No way. He’d beat the shit out of me.”

We share a chuckle and climb into the truck, leaving behind all the antagonism that had built up in his years of absence.

——–

Dinner, predictably, doesn’t last long. I’m not sure if Lainey spots Chip and wants to leave before he arrives at our table, or if it’s truly because she has a babysitter problem. Whatever it is, I leave with her, throwing money down on the table and hurrying after her.

“Dani flaked out on you again? I told you not to hire her.”

Lainey scowls at me. “What are you talking about? You flirted nonstop with her when I was interviewing her.”

“Exactly. Cassidy shouldn’t be watched by some girl who’s got more interest in getting into my jock.”

“So that’s your test? If they want to sleep with you, then they’re not worthy to watch Cassidy?”

“That’s right.” How could she not see that? Did she actually think I was interested in that airhead? I hustle her out the front door of Stacks and into my truck. “So did you get a text from the girl or what?” I knew that chick was a flake from the moment she started eyeing my package.

Lainey nods and then sighs. “Yes, she said she wasn’t feeling well and did I mind coming home early. Maybe she expected you to be there tonight. That’s what you get for flirting with her.”

“It was a test. One she failed.”

When Lainey invited me to participate in the interviews, my main goal was to make sure she didn’t hire someone that Cassidy didn’t like. But as the interviews wore on, I realized the biggest danger was going to be someone who took the job in hopes that I’d sleep with them.

I plan to be around Cassidy a lot, and her nanny needs to be someone who is more interested in her development than what color my sheets are.

Back at the condo, Danielle is all smiles. Either she forgot she was supposed to be sick or figured I wouldn’t care.

“Where’s Cassidy?” Lainey asks, putting her bag aside.

“She’s taking a bath,” the nanny says. She gives me a little finger wave. “Hi, Nick.”

I don’t have to see Lainey’s face to know she’s rolling her eyes. “I’ll take care of paying the babysitter. Why don’t you get the peanut out of the tub before she turns into a prune.” Cassidy would live in the water if you allowed her to.

“I’m Dani,” the girl reminds me once Lainey’s disappeared into the bathroom. “So is Cassidy’s mom a friend of yours?”

“Lainey and Cassidy are the two most important girls in my life.” I can say that now because Nate’s back, and I can give over the care of Charlotte to him. It’s time for me to get on with my own plans.

“Oh, so how long have you known her?”

“Which one?” I hold out the fifty, which is overpaying this girl by a lot since I bet she did nothing but turn on the television for Cassidy while she spent the rest of the time texting her friends.

“Lainey. I mean…she said she’s not your girlfriend.” She fiddles with the bottom of her shirt instead of taking the money. Her skintight leggings don’t have pockets so I’m not sure where to stick the bill. In her waistband?

“Did she?” I cast my eyes around for her purse, which I finally spot over by the couch. I walk over and pick it up, sticking the payment in the outside pocket. “Well, Lainey doesn’t like to blab about things. Here you go. Thanks for coming.”

Reluctantly, she takes the purse and slings it over her shoulder. “Um, my car is downstairs, and I’m scared to go into the parking garage by myself.”

Really? I can’t believe this.

“Go and walk the girl down to her car,” Lainey says in an exasperated tone, appearing in the hallway with a wet Cassidy in her arms.

“Nick!” Cassidy exclaims and holds out her little hands in my direction.

“Hey, baby girl. I gotta run downstairs. I’ll be right back.”

“’kay!”

Dani gets a smug smile on her face. What does she think’s going to happen? That she can seduce me between the condo and the parking garage? Maybe a few years ago that would’ve worked. I was that easy at one time, but I’m not anymore.

“So off-season, huh?” she says as we walk down the hall toward the elevator. “What do you do? I hear a lot of you guys hang out at Stacks?”

“I spend time with my family.”

“Right. Your brother is in the Navy. A real hero.” She flashes her eyes at me.

These chicks know so much about me, sometimes it’s frightening. “He is.”

The elevator arrives. I gesture for her to step inside. She does but moves next to me as soon as the doors close.

“Have you ever been in an elevator when it’s just stopped? Wouldn’t that be crazy?”

I dig my hands into my pockets and stare at the numbers that are not dropping fast enough. “Crazy.”

“I’ve always wondered what it was like to be in a stranded elevator, haven’t you?” She moves closer until her tit is brushing my arm.

“No, can’t say that I have.” I move aside but find myself up against the wall.

“I’d like to, though.” She bats her eyelashes and runs a finger down my arm.

I’m rethinking the plan here. Originally, showing up and flirting with the nannies to weed out the undesirables seemed like a genius idea but now it’s coming back to bite me in the ass.

“Lainey and I are together,” I blurt out. Lainey’s not going to like this because I can tell the girl, who’s about five seconds away from pulling her pants off and humping my leg in the elevator, is exactly the type who’s going to spread this around the internet. But being cool and distant isn’t working.

“The mom?” The girl asks me, not backing off one bit.

“Yeah, the mom.” I push her hand away.

“But you’re not the father.”

“So?”

“So, don’t you want to be with a girl who doesn’t have kids?” She places a hand on her hip. Clearly, she’s referring to herself.

“I want to be with someone I can love. It doesn’t matter if she has no kids, five kids, or a football team of them. Besides, I love Cassidy like she’s my own.” The doors slide open, and I slip out before the girl can attach herself to me. “Which car is yours?” I ask and then notice she’s still in the elevator.

Her face is plastered with an unhappy expression.

“Well?” I prompt.

“I don’t have a car. I thought you could drive me home.”

Aw, hell no. I let the elevator doors close in her face and ring up the doorman. “Clark? This Nick Jackson. Lainey’s babysitter is coming to the lobby. Can you ring her a car?”

“Yes, no problem, sir.”

“Great. And if she gives you any problems, feel free to call the police.”

 

The post Lainey’s List Chapter Forty-six appeared first on Author Jen Frederick.

Lainey’s List Chapter Forty-Five

Want an easier way to catch up on Lainey’s List? Read it on Wattpad here!

Lainey

“I’m Danielle Forman, but everyone calls me Dani!” The lithe beauty beams at me. “I’m here for the nanny position.” Her smile is so bright I have to blink a few times. I must’ve been blinded longer than is socially acceptable because the smile dims one tiny wattage point and she says, “This is the right place, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it is.” Reluctantly, I open the door wider. “I’m Elaina Valdez and this is—“

“Oh my God!” Danielle claps her hands in front of her mouth. “You’re Nick Jackson. The Nick Jackson. I’m such a huge fan!” She recovers from her initial surprise and skitters across the floor, scraping her high heels against my hardwood floors. “Huge fan,” she repeats, holding out her hand.

Nick rises from his chair, a huge grin plastered across his face—the one I wish wasn’t so damn handsome. “Thanks. We Mustangs need all the fans we can get.”

Danielle laughs and lightly taps Nick across the arm with her free hand because he’s still holding the other one. “I can’t imagine that you need any more fans. The entire city is in love with you.”

“I don’t know about the entire city,” Nick demurs.

How long will these two hold hands?

“I love you Uncle Nick!” Cassidy declares.

Danielle immediately drops down to Cassidy’s level. “Aren’t you a little doll. What’s your name?”

“I’m not a doll. I’m a person,” my daughter declares and then ducks behind Nick’s legs.

“Oh, gosh, what an adorable girl you have. Your brother’s little one?” Danielle asks, batting her eyelashes up at Nick who absently pats Cassidy on the head while he continues to stare at Danielle.

“No, she’s mine,” I interrupt.

My frosty tone doesn’t escape Nick who raises a slight eyebrow in my direction.

“Oh, um, okay,” Danielle says. Her eyes are full of questions but I don’t feel like answering them. Instead, I’d like to continue the charade that Nick and I are somehow connected in a more intimate way than friends who have shared the sheets. Although, why he’s here with me, I’m still not sure. The impulse to invite him was overwhelming, and until Danielle showed up, it felt right. Now I’m having second, third, and fourth thoughts.

“Have a seat,” I gesture toward the upholstered chair. “Would you like something to drink?”

“Water would be lovely.” She says, almost dismissively, as if I’m the help in my own home. She sits down, clasps her hands, and tucks her legs to the side. “So Nick, I can call you Nick, right?” Because I’m getting my potential nanny a glass of water, I can’t tell if he nods his head but he must because she asks yet another question. “What’re you doing with yourself this off-season?”

“Feeding the ducks with my girl. I think we’re having a tea party later, right Cassidy?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“That’s adorable,” Danielle simpers. Doesn’t she know any other adjective? How about hot as asphalt? Because I’m always my weakest around Nick when he’s playing daddy with Cassidy. His love for her is one of his sexiest traits and Danielle, call-me-Dani, is getting a full-on display.

It takes effort not to stomp around the kitchen and slam cupboard doors. It’s not Danielle’s fault she’s pretty or that Nick’s reacting in a predictable manner. Hell, if I swung in that direction, I’d be tongue-tied and flirty with Danielle myself. Advising myself to calm the hell down, I reappear in the living room with the glass of water. “Here you are.”

“Thanks.”

I take a seat on the other side of Nick. In his effort to get close to Dani, he’s left me only a sliver of space. I opt to sit on his other side.

“Cassidy, honey, we’re going to talk to this nice lady for a bit. Can you go finish your movie in Mommy’s bedroom?”

“Okay.” Cassidy gives me a sweet hug and wet kiss and then crawls over my lap to give Nick a kiss too.

“Bye, sweetheart,” Danielle chirps.

Cassidy gives the girl a little wave before running down the hall to watch Cars for the umpteenth bazillionth time.

Nick shoots me a questioning look. “Am I doing this interview?”

“Sure, why not?” I pick up Danielle’s resume and pretend to be engrossed in her early childhood experience, which is surprisingly not bad.

“Okay. So tell us about yourself?”

Danielle scoots her butt to the edge of the seat so her knees are nearly touching Nick’s. “I’m twenty-four and I’ve worked at Apple Tree Learning Center for the past four years but I’m looking for something more personal and,” she adds in a husky tone, “more intimate.”

“You have any kids of your own?”

“Not yet. I hope to some day.”

“I don’t doubt that you have a dozen guys lined up to put a ring on that finger,” Nick says.

She blushes and reaches out to bat the back of Nick’s hand. “Not that many.”

Kill me now, I write in the margin of the resume.

“But you go out, right? You’re not just focused on your work.” Nick presses.

No. I think I’ll kill Nick. I write that line on the other margin.

“Of course! I mean, I like to think of myself as well rounded. I love football and kids,” Danielle declares.

If she moves any further off the edge of her seat, her ass is going to be on the floor.

“What kinds of clubs do you like?” Nick asks.

“I love, love, love The Cave. Have you been? I’ve never seen you there.”

“Naah, I don’t think I have.” He turns to me. “You been to The Cave, Lainey?”

Oh, he remembers that I’m here. “Actually, yes, Charlie and I went there with Reese last year.”

“Huh. And you didn’t take me?”

“You were at an away game.”

“Next time, I want to go.”

“Noted. Can we get back to the interview?”

“Oh right. Actually, I think we know everything we need to know.” He gets to his feet and holds out his hand. Danielle places her elegant one in his and allows him to help her up. The action places them chest to breast, thigh to thigh. Their bodies are so close I swear her knit covered tits are going to brush against his pecs.

“Thanks for coming, Danielle,” he says, gracing her with a wide, panty-melting smile.

“Anytime,” she says dreamily. He maneuvers her star struck frame to the door and has her outside the apartment before either of us realize what he’s doing. “When will you be making a decision?” she asks, her voice a little uncertain as she registers where she is standing.

“I’ve got your number,” Nick says.

“Yes, you do,” Danielle simpers. They stare at each other for an uncomfortable moment before Danielle finally turns and walks away toward the elevator bank. But Nick watches her until the doors of the elevator car slide open and Danielle disappears inside. He waits for a second and then closes the door.

He leans against it. “I don’t think you should hire her.”

I do a double take. “What? Why? I thought you liked her.”

“All she wanted to do was get in my pants. What if she took Cassidy to the park? If she saw someone there she liked, her attention wouldn’t be on Cassidy at all.”

Surprised, I can only blink at him in silence. That’s exactly what I thought, but Nick had been flirting hard with her.

“Are you saying this just so you can date her?”

A line appears on his forehead. “No. Why would you say that?”

“Because you flirted with her the entire time she was here,” I exclaim.

“I was trying to figure her out,” he protests.

“By telling her there must be a million guys in this city who want to marry her? And that you have her number? You were giving off signals like crazy.” Then it hits me. He doesn’t want me to hire her because he doesn’t want to mix business with pleasure. He’s so going to ask her out.

Well, we’ll see about that. “Actually, I liked Dani a lot, and I think Cassidy did, too. Charlie wants to meet out tonight, and I think Dani’s the perfect person to babysit her. It’ll be a test run.”

“No way. You can’t do that!” he protests.

“Why?” I stick my chin forward. “What’s wrong with her staying in the condo tonight and watching Cassidy?”

“She’s not nanny material,” Nick insists but shakes his head at me when I don’t back down. “I’m telling you, she’s the wrong person for Cassidy. Mark my words.”

Ha! He just wants to get into Dani’s dress. And I’m not going to let that happen.

The post Lainey’s List Chapter Forty-Five appeared first on Author Jen Frederick.

Lainey’s List Chapter Forty-Four

Want an easier way to catch up on Lainey’s List? Read it on Wattpad here!

 

Lainey

“Mommy, I need the bread! I need the bread!” Cassidy says breathlessly, having sprinted all the way to the pond the moment we entered the park. I hand her the heels from loaves we ate. “Come on, Uncle Nick,” she tugs on his hand. He goes willingly, adjusting his ball cap.

I’m not sure the disguise is going to work. The weather is nice, and the park is filling up. Soon there won’t be an empty space on the grass. I plop down on the edge of the pond. The trees are starting to bud. I pluck some long grasses and weave them together while I watch Nick and Cassidy. From the snippets of conversation that wend my way, the two are apparently naming the ducks.

“That one’s Mr. Happy.” Nick’s arm stretches out to point toward a plain brown duck paddling furiously toward the huge chunk of bread floating in the water. Cassidy’s not very good at tearing little bits off and has a tendency to throw the entire piece of bread in. The feeding frenzy never lasts long with her.

“I think it’s a girl, Uncle Nick.”

“Nuh-uh.” He shakes his head. “It’s pretty so it has to be a girl.”

“Girls are the brown ducks.” Cassidy frowns. “Don’t you know this? The pretty ones are boys.”

“Are you sure?” he asks.

“Of course.” Cassidy places her hands on her hips, indignant that she’s being questioned. “Mommy said, and she’s never wrong.”

Nick casts me an amused look over his shoulder. “Never?”

“Never,” Cassidy replies emphatically. “Throw your bread over there. That one needs some food.”

“He does look scrawny,” Nick admits, getting the gender right this time. Cassidy claps her hands in approval.

In short order, they have all the ducks in the pond at their feet but no more bread. Without the food, Cassidy loses interest in the ducks.

“Can I play on the slide?” She yells as she runs toward the jungle gym.

“Sure.” Although I don’t think she hears me.

“You’re brainwashing the girl,” Nick complains as he lowers himself to the ground.

“Only in the best way.” To my left, I hear a couple of people whisper about Nick. The words “Super Bowl” and “Mustang” and “quarterback” are loud enough that even the subject of their conversation can hear them but Nick pretends he doesn’t.

He plucks the grass crown out of my hands and sets it on top of his cap.

“Not worried about being noticed?” I ask quietly.

“It’s going to happen. Hopefully, everyone will be polite. I’m here with a kid, after all.”

An ache in my chest develops as the thought of Nick and his own child at a park like this fills my head. Someday, he’s going to have his own family and despite the pain that notion brings, I want that for him. Because Cassidy’s the best thing that ever happened to me, Chip notwithstanding. Nick would be a tremendous dad. I can’t really figure out why he’s not settled down yet, particularly since he doesn’t seem too interested in sleeping with every jersey chaser that shoves her number under his hotel room door.

“There’ll be some post tomorrow online about you and me and Cass.”

“It’s not the first time someone’s photographed us together. I think you’re known as a family friend.” He peers at me from under the brim of his cap, his eyes shaded but his lips looking lush and kissable.

I tuck my hands under my thighs and remind myself that a friend is all we are. “Well, at least they’re getting some of the gossip right. How come you aren’t back in Chicago?”

The off-season for players is never very long, and it seems to get shorter every year.

“I’m waiting on some things.” A Nerf ball bounces close to us. Nick grabs it and whips it back to the boys at the playground. They don’t realize a Super Bowl winning quarterback has just tossed them a ball, but others do. I see more gasping and pointing. We’ll have to leave soon or be mobbed.

“Like your brother?” I ask, getting to my feet.

“Maybe.” Nick joins me. “I hear Charlie’s business is really taking off.” He rests his hand on the low of my back.

It’s hard to concentrate when he stands so close to me. It’s also hard to remember that we’re just friends, or some approximation of that sort of non-sexual relationship, when his hand is resting right above my ass. “She has more work than she can handle. I’m thinking of getting a nanny for Cassidy for a few hours of the day.”

“You should let me do it.”

“Watch Cassidy?” I cast a quick look in his direction to judge his seriousness but his sunglasses are hiding his eyes.

“Yeah. It’d be fun.” He’s staring in the direction of Cassidy who’s climbing up a small rope ladder. “But I guess I’ll start training camp soon, and you’ll want someone who can be around all the time.”

I knew better than to get my hopes up. I inject a light tone into my voice so he doesn’t know that I took him seriously. “I don’t want a manny for Cassidy anyway.”

“A manny?”

“Male nanny,” I explain. And then, because I feel like I may have hurt his feelings, I rush out, “Want to sit in on the nanny interviews?”

His eyebrows shoot up above the rims of his sunglasses. “Really?”

“Why not? It’s good to have a second opinion.”

Before I can retract my invitation, Nick nods enthusiastically. “Deal.”

—————-

“Do you have to flirt with so many of the candidates?” I ask irritably.

“I’m being nice,” he protests from the kitchen. The last meeting apparently made him very thirsty. He escaped to get a glass of water before it was even over, leaving me to smile awkwardly at the eager young thing who kept casting longing glances toward the kitchen door.

Nick and I’ve spent the last two days interviewing nanny applicants. They’ve come in all sizes, shapes, and ages. The only consistent thing about them is that they all blush and stammer around Nick.

He’s not helping, either. He flirts with them relentlessly. To the grandmother who was shaped like a pear and had a cloud of gray hair floating around her head, he exclaimed that in his whole life, he’d never seen a woman with a more beautiful smile. To the middle-aged nurse who looked like she sucked on lemons, he’d declared that her hands revealed she was a woman of class and distinction. To the young ladies, of which there were many, all he had to do was smile and they dissolved into a puddle of non-coherent goo.

He returns from the kitchen with a glass of water for me. “Who’s next?”

“Danielle Tipton.”

“Sounds like a fluff ball.” He grabs the resume from me. “This chick is nineteen. She can’t watch Cassidy. When I was nineteen, I barely made it to my two classes each day. Nineteen is in no way responsible enough to care for a kid.”

“I was seventeen when I had Cass,” I remind him.

“That’s different,” he proclaims. He shakes the paper in front of my face. “Her only experience is the church, Dairy Queen, and a summer nanny position. We shouldn’t even interview her.”

A knock on the door interrupts his resume rattling.

“Too late,” I tell him, getting up from the chair and strolling over to the door.

Swinging it open, I feel immediate regret because Danielle Tipton is the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever had the misfortune to lay my eyes on.

The post Lainey’s List Chapter Forty-Four appeared first on Author Jen Frederick.