Lainey’s List Chapter Fifty-One

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Nick

I have a sloppy practice because my mind’s not focused on throwing the ball downfield. It’s on not tearing Chip into tiny pieces in front of my coaches but my performance gives me a good reason to hail him afterward.

“Chip, you got a minute?” I ask after the trainer is done taping three bags of ice to my shoulder and arm.

He halts on his way down the hall. “Sure. You seemed distracted today. Want to go over some film?”

Yeah but not the kind you’re thinking of. “Something like that.” I hop off the training table. “Thanks, Mike.”

“No problem, man. Just cautionary, you know. Everything looks good.” He pats one bag of ice with a self-satisfied smile.

“Want to come to my office?” Chip asks. Chip’s office is shared with the other offensive coaches, and there are always people in and out of it.

“Nah, how about here?” I dip my head toward the media room, which is currently empty. The reporters have left to file their stories for the day or are waiting outside to ambush someone. No press conferences are scheduled, so it’s probably the quietest place in the building today.

Chip frowns for a moment and then agrees, “Sure.”

Before we go in, though, my phone rings. I ignore it but it starts up again immediately. I pull it out and see that it’s Lainey. Deciding to talk to her later, I pocket the phone and hold open the door for Chip.

As he walks into the room, the phone rings again.

“Do you need to get that?”

I huff a sigh and look at the screen again. This time, it’s Nate. Since he calls about once a year, I figure I have to take it.

“What?” I bark into the phone.

“Catch you at a bad time?”

“Actually, yes.” I cast an impatient look toward Chip who’s fiddling with his own phone.

“Well, get rid of the girl because I have something to tell you.”

I draw back and look at the phone because Nate sounds like he’s a five year-old on the night before Christmas.

“What’s that?”

“Charlotte and I are getting married,” he announces. “I know I should drive over and see you but Charlotte’s telling her mom, and you know how fast shit flows down the family tree.”

The news is startling. I shouldn’t be surprised but I find that I am. “Congrats, man, when’s the wedding?”

“Soon. I’ve wasted all this time. If I had my way, we’d be down at City Hall but the moms are going to want an actual shindig. You can make it right?” he asks, satisfaction oozing from every word.

“As long as it’s before the season, I can do it.”

“Roger that.” He sounds happy. I hope Charlie is, too. Although, how can she not be? This is what she’s wanted since forever.

The enormity of it hits me, and I slump against the wall. “I didn’t believe you would ever do it.”

“I know. Thank you for keeping her safe for me.”

“I did it for her.”

“Hey, man, did you want to talk to me?”

I look up in surprise. I’d forgotten Chip was there. I nod. “Nate, congratulations. I’m thrilled for both of you. I’ve got to go, though.”

“Sure. Dinner tomorrow night?”

“Um, okay.” That’s not what I had planned but shit happens.

“Great. I’ll text you the details later.”

I hang up and open my mouth to address Chip when the phone rings again. Chip shakes his head.

“Why don’t you call me when you have a free moment,” he says and walks out the door.

Frustrated and a little confused as to why I’m not happier for my brother, I answer the phone.

“Hi, it’s Lainey.”

I swallow back my irritation, “Hi, honey.”

“Did you hear the news?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m so happy,” she exhales, a giddy, sweet sound. “I wanted to catch you before you went home and saw Charlie. I don’t want her to know about what’s going on between us. She’ll get distracted, and these next few weeks should be all about her and Nate.”

I drag a hand down my face. “You’re right. They do need some time to themselves.”

“This is good, right? You sound…off.”

“I had a shit practice and was about to confront Chip so y’all just caught me at a bad time; but, yeah, obviously, I couldn’t be happier.”

“You don’t sound it,” she says flatly. “Are you upset because you’re losing Charlie?”

The last words are barbed with innuendo. Are you in love with Charlie? “No, that’s not it at all,” I push back. “I was caught off-guard. I want both Charlie and Nate to be happy but they made each other—and everyone in this family—miserable for nine years. Pardon me for being cautiously optimistic,” I snap.

“It’s destiny,” Lainey replies softly. “This is meant to be.”

“Like you and me, Lainey. We’re meant to be, too. Why else do our lives keep intersecting?”

She falls quiet for a moment. “Yes, I believe that, too. I want us to be together but—“

“But what, Lainey?” I ask impatiently.

“If it were just you and me, I’d say to hell with the consequences. But we’ve got Cassidy, and I’m willing to sacrifice nearly anything to protect her. I’ve never fully told you everything about Chip. I’m willing to do that so we can make a plan of attack. But we can’t do it now. Not while our best friend is planning the happiest day of her life.”

Inwardly, I sigh. She’s right. I’m going to focus on all the positive things, be happy for my brother and life long friend, and focus on our tomorrows. “All right. We’re going to dinner with Charlie and Nate tomorrow. After dinner, let’s talk.”

“It’s a plan.”

But as they say, the best-laid plans are worthless because the very next day, our lives fall apart.

__________

“Charlie’s cancer is back,” Nate tells me on the phone.

My mind immediately rejects this. “I’m coming down.”

“No. She’s sleeping. She needs to rest.”

I need to see her, as if her cancer will be written on her forehead, and until I see that actual proof, I won’t believe it. I spend ten minutes arguing with Nate but he’s implacable. I stumble downstairs anyway, finding my way to Lainey who opens her door and lets me fall into her arms. We collapse onto the sofa, where I clutch her close. Her tears mix with my own.

“God-fucking-damn,” I rail. “Haven’t they both suffered enough? If Nate loses her, it’ll kill him. Those nine years, he’s been a ghost.” All those missions that Charlie and I would worry about, all those dark days when we didn’t hear from Nate, all those sleepless nights are culminating in this? It’s too much.

“I know, babe. I know.” She drags her hands down my back.

I find I’m desperate for her. I tear at her clothes. “Where’s Cassidy?” I ask between open-mouthed, desperate kisses.

“At a friend’s. She didn’t need to see me fall apart.” Lainey’s lashes are dotted with tears. I kiss them away but new ones form. It’s a never-ending spigot.

Maybe this isn’t the best idea. I try to pull away but she clutches my shoulders and drags me back. “I need this just as much as you,” she whispers against my neck.

I give an abrupt nod before pulling a condom out of my pocket. Her hands shove down my jeans. Mine pull at her stretchy pants until her lower half is bare. Sex this time isn’t about pleasure but comfort. I find relief in her warmth, and she finds solace in my strength. After, we lay there on the narrow sofa, wrapped in each other, but not finding any true peace. Our best friend might be dying, and there’s nothing we can do about it.

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