Adam Thomas's Blog, page 9

updates and understandings

Well, I thought I would do a mid-year recap. I just had my blog reworked. So, an updates and understandings post was Shirley in order. Though, I probably should’ve done this post first.  Then, I would be able to move forward with a clean, Blank Space. I originally wanted to incorporate these two posts into one. However, there were just too many words.  Besides, casual references to previous posts in the body of another would’ve been as lost in translation as my … Likes.  Speaking of that, I boldly decided to go where no Blog has gone before – I deleted the damn icon.  Honestly, the Like button reminds of receipt surveys.  That being said, on with the … register.  

My daughter keeps discovering bands of my youth.  Vinyls aren’t very mobile. So, she inherited my hand held (wait for it) cassette player/recorder. #ClassicRewind, gorlfriend.  In case you are wondering, her table manners still resemble that of an 80’s mix tape.       
I actually (pauses intended) referenced the icon for A Promise to Love and my horrorscope of a summer in the last post – way done with both of those issues. Though, I’m certain to get some shade for Mr. Bradshaw.  His book cover is considerably smaller than   My … Fictional Memoir.   It’s a personal problem. He’s used to it.
Baked oatmeal and pumpkin anything are appropriate any season – even in a picnic basket. In January.
Attention: Taylor Swift and those similarly minded – Boys only want love, girls.  Torture is way over-rated.  My daughter vehemently disagrees. Teen-aged boys are actually that dumb. (pauses so exaggerated)
Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. I’m thinkin’ a Red, Red Wine post is on tap.  However, Rose’ will always make me blush.
Considering I’m doing a mid-year review in, like, February, my resolution to resolve may be mute. Maybe next year? Fortunately for us regulars, there are fewer new faces at the gym. Hopefully, those checks were mailed!
Our new thermostat is working quite well.  The technician crossed a few wires. Yikes! Ironically, I never received an e-mail survey like originally informed.  The what the fuckness  of that whole situation still makes me crave cole slaw.
One last comment from the Yoda of all that is Blog –  my Random Nonsense content is now mobile friendly. He so delivered , eh? Oh, and, that e-mail alert regarding the Amazon Book Links page was nicely .. .timed. If I don’t say so myself.  

Well, that’s about it. I will officially move forward into February with Classic Editor and a Cowboy Cookie for the Balloon Ride.  Before I waft off to postal Oz, I want to end my recap with one last quote from the quintessential mind of  ‘power‘ behind a fictitious coupling.

I am a brain, Watson. The rest of me is a mere appendix.

Sherlock Holmes

justified

I uploaded the newest version of Word Press recently. The silly prompt appeared on my dashboard and I hit the damn thing. Now, my entire work space changed. Ugh!  All I want to do is pen my posts – nothing Pulitzer Prize worthy here, just my Random Nonsense. Instead, I have fucking words like ‘start writing or type/ to choose a block‘. God forbid I accidentally move the mouse around. ‘Writing tools‘ in different shades of gray (no movie reference intended) appear with the slightest cursor movement. Worse of all , they deleted the justify margin option. I’ve ranted before about this anal retentive issue of mine. Justified margins just make me happy. The written word is so much easier to read with clean lines. Even my Skiing Magazine started to justify article margins.

Word Press support was of no help.  Apparently, with all the devices available to read online material, even justified margins appear otherwise. Upload a manuscript file onto the Kindle. Then, you can bitch about formatting issues. Granted, a published work on Kindle is totally different than a Word Press blog. However, both read similarly.

Thankfully, everything I’ve just recounted has no direct impact on the reader. Unless you have margin issues like me. Most importantly, the website appearance remained intact.

That is until I went to go see the Yoda of all that is Blog. It was my only recourse to reclaim my margins. Besides, I was long overdue for a check-up. I had a few adjustments I wanted to add, as well. That Robert C. Bradshaw dude has been all over my altered ego about that damn icon for his latest book A Promise to Love. When I presented that post back in August, I promised to add the link and never did. I was busy dealing with my horrorscope of summer, okay. I apologized – we’re good. The Blogmaster uploaded the link correctly. I would’ve fucked it up somehow. So, there it is in all its glory. Please, please, please just click the damn cover icon and download the book. It really is a great read – a 1949 love story set in Boston that hopeless romantics of all ages will enjoy. And, it will get him off my … back? He’s like this annoying voice in my head that just won’t go away.

What did go away though were my ‘Likes’.  Not that there were ever that many, mind you.  I’m not too worried about it because … . My sucky work space distractions are gone.  Classic Editor is back, baby! 

Other than that, very little needed to be updated. I’m not big on Blog Bling. As far as I’m concerned, it’s all about content. Yoda tweaked the delivery. Now, if I could just get that silly timing thing down. 

Anyway, hope you all enjoy the subtle makeover. I will continue to be conscious of my nonsense AND margins. Though don’t expect those words to be too politically correct. Remember, it’s still me.

Thanks for reading!

postal polarity

Well, My Life has been quite Random and full of Nonsense lately. Let’s just say, the Bipolar antics of these last few weeks has ripped through my January like a … tornado. Ironically, none of it was my fault – except for the cole slaw, that is. Better yet, the damage control was minimal; totally not used to that, either.

temperature tantrums

Recently, a new digital thermostat was installed in our house. I am NOT a handy-man. Moreover, if there are wires involved, it’s really, really NOT going to happen. Therefore, a local technician swapped out the units.

When I came home from work that evening, I noticed a familiar ‘sound’. Yet, the source eluded me. Once inside, the temperature was 70.3. Therefore, I didn’t think too much more about it. When I inquired about the installation, my wife quoted the techs exact words, “the instructions were clear as mud.”

That ‘mud’ was crystal clear once I realized that the sound I earlier dismissed was our air conditioner. ON. It’s January. The temperature is 20 degrees outside. What the fuck? Immediately, I turned the unit OFF. However, the FAN continued to run. According to the owner’s manual AND the YouTube tutorial, this is NOT supposed to be the case.

To add yet another element of what the fuckness, the unit customer support hotline was extremely knowledgeable AND instructed ME how to fix it. There were wires involved.

grater good

I made cole slaw last weekend to accompany the pulled pork entry I prepared. I’ve always loved cole slaw. However, I have never MADE cole slaw. For some reason, making cole slaw always intimidated me. Don’t ask me why, okay? I’m blogging about my fucking air conditioning running in January as the temperature in the house is increasing. So, of course, cole slaw would intimidate me. I can pull off an entire Thanksgiving spread that would impress Martha Stewart, but cole slaw remains my culinary nemesis.

A few months back, I ‘slawed’ my fear. Aside from the mess, I succeeded. Actually, it was very easy AND quite delicious. Now, all I need is a bigger … grater? Story of My Life, baby.

survey says …

Management is all ape shit about Receipt Surveys – those damn www. or 1-800 number surveys at the bottom of every receipt ever received by a customer. Yeah, … . I’m so not a fan. Hell, when I’m at the register ringing out a line, I ask if a receipt is even desired. More often than not, the answer is NO, of course. No one wants a receipt. Furthermore, no one wants to do a survey either.

Believe it or not, I was the topic of a recent survey comment.

The male pharmacist (that’s me) has been very helpful on previous occasions and nothing different today. He is friendly, empathetic, and has a good sense of humor.

The customer was neither bribed nor adversely coerced to say such things. There’s no doubt he or she is highly medicated, though.

To celebrate this fucked up Random Nonsense, I made Eggnog Snickerdoddles -a seasonal ‘twist’ on a summertime classic. The perfect dessert to include in a picnic basket … after eating cole slaw, … in the middle of January, …when the air-conditioner is ON.

How did I get here?

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The ‘new’ game is afoot

When I traveled to Arizona in October, I needed a book to read. My daughter recommended A Study in Charlotte by Brittany Cavallaro

Jamie Watson has always been intrigued by Charlotte Holmes; after all, their great-great-great-grandfathers are one of the most infamous pairs in history. But the Holmes family has always been odd, and Charlotte is no exception. She’s inherited Sherlock’s volatility and some of his vices—and when Jamie and Charlotte end up at the same Connecticut boarding school, Charlotte makes it clear she’s not looking for friends.

But when a student they both have a history with dies under suspicious circumstances, ripped straight from the most terrifying of the Sherlock Holmes stories, Jamie can no longer afford to keep his distance. Danger is mounting and nowhere is safe—and the only people they can trust are each other.

“My name is Sherlock Holmes. It is my business to know what other people do not know.”

Sadly, I have never read a Sherlock Holmes mystery. Moreover, of the countless screen versions of this crime solving duo, I have only watched the two Guy Ritchie films starring Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law. Though from what I’m told, the Benedict Cumberbatch series was amazing. So, I welcomed the chance to read this updated version of the classic story. Oh, her name is Charlotte Holmes, by the way.

“Crime is common. Logic is rare. Therefore it is upon the logic rather than upon the crime that you should dwell.” 

The opportunity to dwell in a new read was great fun. The generational AND gender spin on this infamous power couple was a unique concept. Taking it a step further and targeting the Young Adult genre was brilliant. Teen-aged angst is successfully peppered into the story line – as is the reality of what unfolds. Damn familial ties. So hard to break.

“You have a grand gift for silence, Watson. It makes you quite invaluable as a companion.” 

Ironically, Watson is anything but silent in this novel. The book is written in HIS first person point of view NOT Charlotte’s. What would Sherlock say, eh?

“No man burdens his mind with small matters unless he has some very good reason for doing so.”  

This series is no small matter. I commend Ms. Cavallaro’s reason for doing so – it really was very good. A solid read. I’ve never been fond of ‘series’ anything. Too many things in life linger out of sheer nature. I like my reading to be unburdened.

“Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself; but talent instantly recognizes genius.” 

The author is a Chicago native that attended Interlochen here is Northern, MI. Now, she teaches Creating Writing at the school.

I never intended to post about the book when I began reading. If I had, I would’ve jotted down a few memorable lines rather than using those of Arthur Conan Doyle. Though I must say, Sherlock’s words do add flair to my postal offering. My decision to do so was simply … elementary!?

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I resolve to … consider resolving

Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever made a New Year’s resolution. First of all, it’s sooo cliche’. Overzealous individuals making unrealistic expectations about their capabilities. Just mail your annual dues check to the gym. Going for the first three weeks in January annoys the regulars.

Second, it’s the timing. For me, everything to this point in my life has been based on the school year rather than a calendar year. Think about it. Come late August, things just seem to fall into place. A new school year yields a new routine – especially when children are involved. Therefore, making a resolution in January seems so last September.

Furthermore, what goals I usually pursued were influenced by these schedules and what I felt could actually be achieved. (pauses intended) I’m a huge planner. But Life is never planned. More often than not, it’s a fly the the seat of your pants mentality. Otherwise, frustration ensues. No resolution/goal will ever be obtained – whether it’s made in January or September.

However, things are … progressing. Naturally. And, very quickly, I might add. My youngest is already a sophomore in high school and will soon be driving. Chauffeuring her around will no longer be necessary. Since she is my youngest, this is a mixed blessing, of course. I have enjoyed our time up until now and will even more going forward.

I have a new project that has been formulating for some time. I’ve written pages of notes – character development, location, potential scenes. The basics that are required before beginning a daunting project such as a novel; when working full-time and having a family, that is. In June 2018, I formulated a schedule to organize my notes, then brainstorm until September when I had planned to begin writing. Yeah, well that didn’t happen. What really happened was my fucking horrorscope of a summer. If nothing else, it put everything into perspective, eh?

Now what?

The precipice of a New Year has arrived. I’ve ranted so much about wanting change. Though at certain stages in your life few aspects can really be changed without being totally and completely selfish. Still, there’s always room for improvement. Maybe January can be my new September. Hell, I did just get a new haircut.

Unlike Shirley, I have realistic expectations. And, fewer vices.

I’m totally serious.

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Ode to the landline

So, another year has come and gone. What better way to celebrate this transition into the New Year than with an Ode. Unfortunately, my subject isn’t that earth shatteringly funny by any means. But those that know me AND my struggles with technological advances, will find humor in it. I hope.

white pages acronyms

In a recent conversation, the topic of the landline phone was discussed. Moreover, how people used acronyms to remember phone numbers. I grew up in Chicago. Consequently, each suburb had their own designated prefix assigned to a phone number. You knew who was from what side of which tracks just by looking at landline digits.

The most-populous cities, such as New York City, Philadelphia, Boston, and Chicago initially implemented dial service with telephone numbers consisting of three letters and four digits (3L-4N) according to a system developed by W. G. Blauvelt of AT&T in 1917. This system mapped the letter of the telephone number to the digits on the telephone dial. Translation: it made it easier to remember phone numbers.

ENglewood 3-1234 is an example of the 2L-5N format, gradually implemented continent-wide starting in the 1940s,MARket-7362GArden5-3120 – blast from MY personal pastBALdwin 6828MUrray Hill 5-9975 – another example of the 2L-5N format, one of the Ricardos’ numbers on I Love Lucy.

Today, no one remembers a phone number to save their life. Oh, and don’t even think to ask anyone for their own number – “I never call myself” is the popular, yet irritating response. Dumbass. People are so obsessed with their fictitiously busy lives that it’s too bothersome to remember something so trivial. Once again, Dumbass.

Panic at the … Disconnected

I pride myself in my memory – especially when it comes to landline phone numbers of friends and family from my childhood. Sadly, things have changed. Fortunately, my memory is still sharp. But, there’s no longer reason to remember such information. I found this out the hard way. Recently, I called an old friend to catch up only to find yet another number to be disconnected. I panicked. In a fit of despair, I reached for my phone book. Yes, I still have one of those, okay. Ugh! I did’t have a cell number.

It was all good – aside from my over-dramatized panic. New contact information was established. Still, it made me sad. I understand the decision – landlines are quite frankly an unnecessary expense, but, … .

Can you hear me now?

Good news for folks like me. The landline is making a comeback. It will never be the ‘new vinyl’, but according to the article included below, re-establishing the home phone is on the rise. Since cellular service is so stellar, especially in rural areas, people are getting grounded – literally.

https://www.wsj.com/articles/why-the-landline-phone-will-never-go-away-1530812621

I’m not thinking the whole acronym system will be resurrected as well. Though, there’s probably a fucking app that can be downloaded to aid in this daunting task. (sarcasm intended). Still, the whole concept makes me Love Lucy even more –  ring, ring MUrray Hill5- 9975.

Ode lang syne, baby!

Happy 2019

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The Adam Thomas Christmas Tradtion

Well, I found the Christmas pickle. Legend has it 2019 will be … lucky? To be perfectly honest, I did the decorating. The pickle wasn’t too hard to find, either. I just unpacked the box.  Technically, I found the silly thing.  Besides, I AM so overdue for a good year. Give me a solid month, maybe  just a week – I’ve been … nice?

I decided to be very casual with my Christmas cards this year.  I purchased a few fun 6 packs. When those run out, I’ll get some New Years card 6 packs.  If I’m still in the mode come February, there’s always Valentine’s Day, baby.

My random rambling updates are complete. On with the Challenged Christmas Carol tradition.  Once again, feel free to sing a long. Remember what Buddy the Elf says, “The best way to spread Christmas Cheer, is singing loud for all to hear.”

Schizophrenia — Do You Hear What I Hear?
Multiple Personality Disorder — We Three Kings Disoriented Are
Dementia —I Think I’ll Be Home for Christmas
Narcissistic — Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
Manic — Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and . . .
Paranoid — Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me
Borderline Personality Disorder — Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
Personality Disorder — You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll Tell You Why
Attention Deficit Disorder — Silent Night, Holy OOOOOOOOh look at the Froggy, can I have chocolate, why is France so far away?
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder — Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bell …

I’m not be judgy, but I’m thinkin’ Buddy has a few of these melodies memorized.

Merry Christmas!

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Two festive films and a song that really makes you go hmm…

The post I originally planned was a bit … heavy. On one hand, I didn’t want to Jones it up and have everything in December be about Christmas. Please – there’s enough of that. On the other hand, I didn’t want to present something un ‘Merry’ either. Then, I realized I could walk that proverbial line – save that original post for a latter date and write about Holiday entertainment. That was never intended to be Holiday entertainment, that is.

Die Hard – release date July 15, 1988

New York City policeman John McClane is visiting his estranged wife and two daughters on Christmas Eve. He joins her at a holiday party in the headquarters of the Japanese-owned business she works for. But the festivities are interrupted by a group of terrorists who take over the exclusive high-rise, and everyone in it. Very soon McClane realizes that there’s no one to save the hostages — but him.

This movie solidified Bruce Willis as the everyday dude with the ‘tude. In this case, that would be yule tude, of course. Just don’t mess with Bruce – remember R.E.D.  is his favorite color. Oddly enough, the sequel was released July 04, 1990. And, yes, it takes place on Christmas Eve as well. Gotta love Hollywood!

Trading Places – release date June 08, 1983

Upper-crust executive Louis Winthorpe III and down-and-out hustler Billy Ray Valentine are the subjects of a bet by successful brokers Mortimer and Randolph Duke. An employee of the Dukes, Winthorpe is framed by the brothers for a crime he didn’t commit, with the siblings then installing the street-smart Valentine in his position. When Winthorpe and Valentine uncover the scheme, they set out to turn the tables on the Dukes.

This is a holiday movie if there ever was one – Dan Aykroyd’s ‘Bad Santa’ , Eddie Murpy’s Tiny Tim ‘interpretation’, and Jamie Lee Curtis as a naughty, but very nice Christmas … elf? They even party together on a train New Years Eve. With the butler! And, still, it was released in June. I’ll bet $1 there was a wager between industry heads on that decision.  (side note: this was the topic of my original post idea saved for a later date.)

My Favorite Things 

Sound of Music release date April 01, 1965

This partridge does not belong in the Christmas caroling pear tree by any means.  Yet, it’s included on countless Christmas albums. “Brown paper packages tied up in string” are really cool, but, let’s face it, this song has very little to do with Christmas. Furthermore, the movie wasn’t even remotely considered a holiday movie. It’s all about the marketing, I guess.

Festive idea, eh? I was able to balance my postal entry very well, keeping it bright on both counts – Merry subject matter  and a touch of Holiday cheer.  Unlike Hollywood though, I’m publishing my post in December.  Maybe that’s the problem with my bah-fucking Humbug sales.

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O Christmas Tree

Growing up, we were an artificial tree family. I never really gave it too much thought.  It was all I knew. When I married, things changed. Of course they did. (Pause) This time it was actually for the better. Her family was all about real trees.  When it came time to deck our first holiday halls, I wanted the real thing. And, I’ve never gone back.

My wife’s familial go to tree was the Frasier fir.  In the beginning, it became our staple as well. But, as the years progressed, we entertained alternative varieties.  However, we always reverted back to the Frasier.  For me, it’s the quintessential Christmas tree – subtle fragrance with needles that stay ON THE TREE.  I’m usually the one who vacuums. So, it’s all about needle retention, baby.

T-i-m-b-e-r!

One of my main concerns with real trees was the environmental impact.  It seemed wrong, chopping down a tree for less than a month for MY enjoyment.  Fortunately, I stand corrected.

 living trees generate oxygen, help fix carbon in their branches and in the soil and provide habitat for birds and animals
Christmas tree farms preserve farmland and green space, particularly near densely populated urban areas where pressure for development is intense.
a crop that’s being raised for that purpose

great symmetry, Victoria?

Since I knew very little about Christmas trees and still do, I decided to branch out –

Norway spruce – great smell, bad for kids – drops dense, spikey needles quickly
Nordmann Fir –  great symmetry – right behind Norway Spruce for UK favorite
Blue spruce – needles have a silver-blue tinge – if you want a ‘Blue’ Christmas, of course
Fraser fir – narrow base – best for tight spaces – crowd favorite stateside.
Serbian spruce – lovely, slender shape ideal for corridors – the Victoria Secret model of trees
Douglas fir – a statement tree that can grow very large
Lodgepole pine – yellow -green needles – good retention
Noble fir – good choice for heavy ornaments
Scots pine – official Christmas tree of … Scotland. Where else?

All trees $25

Northern Michigan does live trees quite well, I might add.  Our first Christmas in Traverse, we took the kids to a local farm to cut down our own tree.  Working retail dictated my availability.  Consequently, when we arrived at the place, it was closed.  BUT there was a note –

All trees $25 – place the money in the drop box by the shed.  Saws are just inside the door.

Merry Christmas!

Coming from Chicago, my wife and I almost didn’t know how to respond. Welcome to Northern Michigan, eh? Luckily, we had cash. So, we put $25 in the drop box and grabbed a saw. Oh, and their note wasn’t festively colored as is mine – a little creative liberty for postal purposes.

Apologies about the duplicity, referencing yet another Charlie Brown Holiday Special. In my defense, that opening pumpkin carving scene was perfect for that post. And, I listened to countless versions of O Christmas Tree for this entry. Vince Guaraldi’s rendition really is all that. Besides, I just bought the vinyl. It’s green. Way cool!

O Tannenbaum! What IS a blogger to do?

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$20 – pump 5

Recently, I overheard a conversation between a technician and a customer. My take away were the following words: identity theft, pay at the pump, AND the name of MY local back. Concerned, I inquired about what I hadn’t heard. My co-worker stated that there have been numerous identity theft problems with a few banks in the area. The personal information was retrieved by hackers from gas station pumps. This girl ended her story saying that she always goes inside to pay the cashier.  I found this hard to believe because this girl is all of nineteen and pretty darn lazy.  Don’t get me wrong, she’s an excellent worker, but motivation is not her strong point.

Now, those stupid take away words haunt every trip I make to the gas station.  It’s the holiday season, having a credit card issue would really suck.  Worse – with increased spending, it would be difficult to pinpoint erroneous transactions. Paying at the pump IS SO EASY.  Ugh!  Be this as it may, I decided this warning dictated a few visits inside to the attendant. Even bigger – Ugh!  Better to create a new habit before the weather worsens.  When it’s single digit temps outside, I don’t even want to pump the fucking gas let alone pay inside.

I only had to visit the cashier once to realize the error of my new way.

Quite frankly, Gas stations are just gross. I thought working retail pharmacy had some questionable clientele. One trip to the attendant on duty will make anyone rethink their professional choice.  Gas station employees usually don’t work there by choice either.  The few I’ve known balance the flexible hours with either school, another job, or family schedules.

So to validate my decision to NOT start this new habit I investigated this pay at the pump ‘situation’.

A Bluetooth enabled gas pump skimmer transmits stolen card and PIN data wirelessly while  gassing up. The devices used are smaller than a deck of cards and are often fastened in close proximity to, or over the top of the ATM’s factory-installed card reader. They connect directly to the pump’s power supply, and include a Bluetooth chip that enables thieves to retrieve the stolen data just by pulling up to the pump and opening up a laptop.

Fortunately, EMV (chip) cards have reduced the severity of card skimming. The EMV chip provides a unique code for every transaction. However, the following tips were offered to further prevent altercations –

Inspect The Card Reader and the Area Near the PIN Pad.
Trust Your Instincts: If in Doubt, Use Another Pump.
Avoid Using Your PIN at the Gas Pump.
Keep an Eye on Your Accounts.

I have identity theft on my main checking/debit account. It has warned me of past transactions that have been potentially questionable. Going forward, I’m confident that will continue. (insert: sigh of relief)

I’ve witnessed a gas station ‘regular’ struggle to buy a pack of Marlboro Lights and a Red Bull, okay? With change, nonetheless. And I deal with prescribed narcotics.  Trust me, paying at the pump is so much better than saying – $20 –  pump 5.

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