Adam Thomas's Blog, page 25
February 24, 2016
February 17, 2016
short stack showdown
A few years back a neighborhood friend and I had a … disagreement. Don’t worry, there was no blood shed – a little syrup spillage, but no blood shed. It was a memorable event that was right out of the pages of Midwest Living Magazine.
Background -
We were at an elementary school sporting event in early fall, catching up on anything and everything. Somehow breakfast or breakfast food was discussed. I am the king of all things related to breakfast. So I held my ground, of course. In conversation, it was casually mentioned that my friend, lets name him Clint for blogging purposes, made the best pancakes. Blah, blah, blah. I’m sure he could’ve gone on forever. However, being a humbled conversationalist, I only let him get one blah in before I had to interrupt. He was mistaken, I make the best pancakes. Ever. Remember: Morning Scramble, Pancake Palace AND my grandmother’s recipe. All of which I included in My Life As A Retail Pharmacist - A Fictionalized Memoir .
the Challenge -
Clint and I are both gentleman. However, neither of us would dare concede defeat. So a short stack showdown was the ONLY honorable was to settle this, this … issue.
the date -
February was an excellent time to break up the duldrums of winter and … cook some pancakes. Clint and his family were in transition, moving out of the ‘hood into nicer digs. So I had home court advantage. NOT that I needed it, by any means.
MY recipe -
2 cups flour
2 teaspoonful baking soda
approximately 2 tablespoonsful cooking oil
2 eggs
1 cup buttermilk
1 container yogurt of choice – vanilla and lemon work best
splash or two of water to yield desired consistency
Clint would NOT disclose his recipe. Pompous ass. All I know is that it contained ricotta cheese? Or at least I think so.
the Judges -
The Crain family willingly agreed to judge the event. Fun fact: in a desperate attempt to win over the judges, Clint actually cooked a dollar bill into his pancakes. Can you believe that shit? The nerve. I needed no such treachery to win over the judges – My spatula was the only retaliation required.
and the Winner is…
It was a draw. Truthfully, we knew going into it no ‘winner’ would be crowned. It was all in fun. Besides, there were pancakes. Little more needs to be said. Though, if a winner was chosen, Clint would get sympathy points – he has four daughters. Oh, by the way, there is nothing pompous about mr. Clint. He’s a good dude.
next challenge -
French toast? We’ll see.
optional toppings -
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tH5Q9-M6t8c
Leave it to Jack Johnson to pen a song about pancakes. Bananas are NOT my fruit of choice, but it works.
Order up!
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February 9, 2016
afterthoughts gone postal
Well, it’s February - the longest, shortest month of the year. Being a Leap Year, it’s only going to seem even longer. Maybe El Nino will soften that wintry blow. February 2015 was just awful. I don’t think Traverse City recorded temperatures above zero the entire month.
I’ve had this post in the ‘draft’ status for some time, adding comments/updates/afterthoughts to previous material. It’s been brought to my attention that I’ve been more random than usual. Hopefully, that’s not bad. As long as the text is solid and the ideas fresh, albeit random, I’ll continue. Hopefully, you’ll keep reading.
That being said, … -
Still undecided on when to send out my Christmas cards. Last years, Be my … belated idea was well received. I’m thinking April? Though, only a Fool would do something like that. Hmm… .
Sam Champion’s ‘morning show’ was cancelled shortly after I posted my bit about the Weather Channel/El Nino. Apparently, the station wanted to get back to it’s roots – the weather not his gym shoes. I’m thinking that was a good idea.
I could’ve changed the title for Time after Time to avoid Cyndi Lauper all together. But I just really thought it was fun and appropriate. Besides, I have a horrible time with titles. So, when a good one comes along… . I need to go with it.
“… the indentation in my sofa” is to men as “You are like a gas leak. We can’t see you, we can’t smell you, but you are killing us all!” is to women.
I filled a prescription for Xanax with the following directions – Take one tablet 1 hour before family Christmas gatherings. Even Adele can’t fix that shit. Once again, Xanax is no longer for gay summer weddings. Crayons: not included.
June 30, 2016 is by no means a News Year’s Resolution. Those things are still dumb AND that date has been looming for sometime now.
“Funny but wrong.” is a quote from a movie. Kudos if you are familiar with that film. Hint: 12
Apparently there is a Resting Bitch Face Meter – when I searched for the graphic, weird ass links were found. I’m all about full disclosure for blogging purposes, but … .
All RV’s have officially left Traverse City. Unfortunately those damn things will return sooner than I would ever want.
Surprisingly enough, I have had few vocabulary lessons. Though the comment on my randomness may have me rethink that decision. Also, I’m due for MasterCard moment soon. Hmm… .
I visited the Shinola store in Ann Arbor a few weeks back. I still love watches. And sunglasses.
Lastly, anyone curious at what the hell I would be researching in Botany for DUMMIES ? A Science project gone rogue? Maybe. Maybe not.
I asked my son what fun song/video I should use to close my post. Being a father of two daughters, this video IS hilarious.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwHQfn0s94M
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February 1, 2016
wasted time
When hockey season began back in September, I looked at the schedule and started to plan. What did I plan you may ask? Exactly what and how much I was going to get done during the ‘down time’ waiting for either practice or a game to be over. And tournament weekends - I was so going to own those. I AM not a rink slug. Instead, I stop-drop-pick you up when I am done with what I need to do. And, like I said, there was a lot I wanted to do. First and foremost was researching my next project – I even bought Botany for DUMMIES. I was going to highlight the shit out of that book. Hell, my thumb was going to be so green that damn croton plant I referenced in the not so green thumb post (11-12-2012) would sprout roots.
If you haven’t noticed, everything I’ve written is past tense. Yes, hockey season is still underway. But, nothing I had planned was, or will get accomplished in the remaing few months. The highlighter remains capped. My thumb is as pale and flesh-colored as ever. Who’s the Dummie now?
Well I don’t look at it that negatively. Remember, I am trying to put a positive spin on everything. Also, I ain’t no dummie. I am getting some things done. Though not exactly what I had originally anticipated. But, … . I’m good.
On practice nights, I do the bi-weekly shopping, grab a bite to eat at a restaurant I want to go to, and … hang. Sometimes not doing anything. During tournament/hotel weekends, I bring a book, of course, and read. Mostly, I do nothing. A few weeks back I even watched a movie in the room on a regular station WITH COMMERCIALS. Who does that shit anymore?
Still, I’m good.
Once I thought it was just ‘wasted time’ this, this unproductive portion of my life. Then I realized I really didn’t care that much. Not getting the to-do list done every waking hour of the day was … a relief. When I’m home, every second of my life is scheduled. But on hockey weekends, my only responsibility is getting my daughter to the rink on time. Handling the occasional teenage meltdown is peppered into that scenario, too. Other than that, little is required of me. Upon my return home, that damn list is waiting for me. I deserve some wasted time, damn it. Remember I read and somewhat embraced the Underachiever’s Manifesto (09-29-2014). Come to think of it, it really wasn’t that strong of an embrace, but you get the idea.
As for that Botany for DUMMIES book, … . It will get read and highlighted and read again. Law for DUMMIES was so wore out after writing My Life As A Retail Pharmacist – A Fictionalized Memoir the binding cracked.
Again, I’m good.
Lastly, just knowing that there WILL BE a ‘next book’… . Forget good - I’m fucking awesome.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdOptEJk0K8
In Memorandum - Glenn Fry
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January 25, 2016
www.ASKrandomnonsense – SBS
Condition – I think the previously posted images define this condition adequately. Though I’m unhappy with the presentation. It appears … incomplete. I wanted to incorporate the graphics with this text as I did for RBF, but it was too cumbersome to do so. Oh, well, SBS happens.
Topic Overview - First and foremost, I suffer, and am forever traumatized, from this horrible aliment. I’m not the only one. It starts with an innocent, seemingly random, sneeze. Then another; sputum spraying everywhere. Congested, raspy voices break down communication between fellow employees AND unsuspecting patrons. Dust dances through the air like dandelion seeds playfully released from the soft breath of a blonde, pig-tailed little girl in a prairie field. Unfortunately, nothing about this scenario is cute. Instead, it’s ugly. Toxic allergens wreak havoc … .
STOP -
I just can’t do that over-the-top dramatic shit. I was trying to be funny in a futile attempt so this post would be more entertaining. But, I’m failing big time, man. Besides, even on their best days, my fellow employees can’t communicate properly with anyone - let alone the damn customers. Hell, everyone is a trainwreck at the corner of ’Dysfunctional and Medicated’.
Be that as it may, this SBS shit is totally legit.
Causes -
Air quality in most workplaces is just awful, especially the pharmacy. The fan/blower is constantly circulating . The ‘Maintenance Department’s’ standard response is “the filters are changed” and “we’ll get someone out to clean those ducts. Soon.” Liar. I’d rather the person just tell the truth and say no one will ever be out to do anything about the issue.
Lighting – Between the incandescent lighting and the brightness/contrast issues with the computer screens, I’m just fucked. Luckily, good vision was a familial trait I thankfully inherited. Ocular Migraines – not so much.
While I’m ranting – the ergonomics at the pharmacy really suck, too. Once again, there is NO available resource that can correct this problem.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t261Gbk-efA *
Treatment Options -
complain to management – yeah, that works just dandy.
treat symptoms with various over-the-counter products. While your at it, buy stock in selected sundry manufacturing companies. Your investment portfolio will thank you with a nice ROI.
For me, continuing NOT to do Continuing Education helps my situation. Come June 30 2016 I’ll be symptom free.
References -
Better Nutrition Magazine
60 minutes https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adzMcfHr1q8
I’m sure Doc Oz has had a thing or two to say about this, too.
* This is a really bad short (movie). When I searched SBS on YouTube for something fun in another attempt to make this post something fun, I found this. Well, it isn’t fun and has nothing to do with SBS. Except the title – go figure. Hopefully the post is better than the video.
B-Rated it is!
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January 20, 2016
January 13, 2016
D3
Taken from the Owner’s Manual for the 2008 Honda Pilot:
Drive (D3) -This position is similar to D, except the first three gears are selected. Use D3 to provide engine braking when going down a steep hill. D3 can also keep the transmission from cycling between third and fourth gears in stop-and-go driving.
Second (2) – This position locks the transmission in second gear. It does not downshift to first gear when you come to a stop. Use second gear:
for more power when climbing
to increase engine braking when going down steep hills
for starting out in a slippery surface or in deep snow
to help reduce wheel spin
when driving downhill with a trailer
Personally, I prefer D3. Last winter it helped tremendously with the inclement weather. And, here in Traverse City, we had a lot of inclement weather. Thankfully, I’ve never had to use Second Gear; never really thought about it. D3 is easily interchangeable with Drive ; one shift and you’re golden.
The theory behind this lower gear thing is that the engine has less forward momentum, increasing the handling/stopping ability.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuZA6qiJVfU
That’s it on technical Cars talk. To tell you the truth, I probably even presented that brief, one sentence synopsis wrong. I AM not and never will be a gear head. Though I seriously doubt that’s a surprise to anyone. But, it’s not because I haven’t tried.
I purchased my first car – a 1975 royal blue Ford LTD II – from a neighbor $200. The engine was frozen, so we pushed the car from their driveway onto ours. My older brother wanted to rebuild the engine. Well, good for him. The only thing I can ‘build’ is a sandwich. Still, he felt challenged and really wanted to do it. Once again, good for him. Good for me, too. I got a ‘new’ car out of this endeavor.
Other than financing the project, only one stipulation was required of me. I was instructed to take Automotive 101 at the Community College. That was something I knew I could complete. Not excel in by any means; complete. The goal was to become more knowledgeable. Unfortunately, the only knowledge I retained solidified the fact that I was NOT and never will be a gear head. Shit, man, I can’t even change the damn oil in my car. In my defense, car design has become very complicated, not to mention intimidating. The Volvo Cross-Country has this part called the ‘Mother Board’. What amateur wants to mess with something referred to as the ‘Mother Board’?
Pause - breathe
I’m relaxed now. Besides, it’s lunchtime. I need to go ‘build’ one of those sandwiches I mentioned. Enjoy the link.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Za8BtLgKv8
I feel the need to qualify something regarding this skit. While it is way funny, the idea of going to a ’Dispencary’ to fill a piñata with ’legal’ substances – I’m not referring to the damn Sour Patch Kids , okay - is not. “Funny, but wrong.”
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January 5, 2016
June 30, 2016
That is the date when my pharmacy license will expire.
Thirty hours of Continuing Education (C.E.) every two years is required to renew a pharmacy license. Being the organized, non-procrastinating, anal retentive person I am, I schedule my C.E. at regular intervals over that two year time frame to ensure a non-frenzied completion. (Insert yawn)
Until now.
Currently, I have ZERO hours completed. Honestly, I have only two potential lessons to speak of - which I barbarically ripped out of a monthly publication before I recycled the damn thing, mind you. Those untouched articles continue to collect dust on a shelf somewhere in the pharmacy.
What’s the deal?
First of all, Continuing Education is just dumb. I search articles for the answers to the questions without even reading the text. By the way, everyone does the same thing. The 10 hours of ’live’ credits required to continue to practice are completed on-line, listening to some tired, boring ass professional talk about the incidence of communicable diseases in The Villages, Florida. Yes, that’s a fun little tidbit to share with friends, especially when drinking. But to listen to Herpes statistics in the Senior Citizen population, … . Ugh!
Secondly, over the last few months my desire to be a New York Times Number One Best Selling Author may have been mentioned … once or twice. Okay, okay. Maybe it’s been three times. I’ve lost count. Unfortunately, such an achievement can be a bit elusive. Writing/publishing is just a wee bit different than, say, earning a business Masters to further your career path in the company . All the degrees in the world can’t guarantee success in the publishing world.
Where the hell am I going with this?
No fucking clue. But, I’ve decided to be held accountable to that date. June 30, 2016. If continue to not continue with my Continuing Education, the decision is already made. My license will expire and … .
My Life As A Retail Pharmacist will truly be A non-Fictionalized memory.
Hmm … .
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December 29, 2015
Suffixes – fruitful AND underappreciated
The same can be said for me, of course, and my profession as a retail pharmacist. However, I don’t go all the way back to Ancient Greece. I may be 50, but I ain’t that old.
On with the real topic of this post.
The suffix -ism goes all the way back to Ancient Greek, and was used in Latin and medieval French on its way to English. Originally, it turned a verb into a noun: think of baptize and baptism, criticize and criticism, or plagiarize and plagiarism. It has since acquired many other uses, including identifying a religion or practice (Calvinism, vegetarianism), a prejudice based on a specific quality (sexism, ageism), an adherence to a system (stoicism, altruism), a condition based on excess of something (alcoholism), or a characteristic feature or trait (colloquialism).
I highlight this because (drum roll, please) -ism is the Merriam-Webster Word of the Year 2015.
A suffix is the Word of the Year because a small group of words that share this three-letter ending triggered both high volume and significant year-over-year increase in lookups at Merriam-Webster.com. Taken together, these seven words represent millions of individual dictionary lookups.
http://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/word-of-the-year-2015/-ism
I think this is a very appropriate post subject to close out 2015. Unintentionally, I’ve ranted my share of vocabulary lessons over the last 12 months. Thankfully, the topics have been random. Considering the author, what else would they be? In my defense, I’ve been quite creative in my presentations. So, all in all, I’m thinkin’ my quest to enhance understanding of the English language has been well received.
Until now.
This vocabulary lesson has me a bit stumped.
First, what ARE those seven words that sparked this -ism insanity?
7. Socialism
6. Fascism
5. Racism
4. Feminism
3. Communism
2. Capitalism
1. Terrorism
Hmm. That’s some serious shit-ism.
My initial reaction to a suffix being chosen was – “that’s dumb.” Then I researched further for posting reasons. My reaction changed, especially when those words were the -ism words referenced. On one hand, I’m thankful people are conscious about what is actually going on in our country and the world. With the increased level of self-absorption I witness on a daily basis, I may have thought otherwise. However I realized that some, if not all, of those words probably do date back to Ancient Greece. Should there be concern that people actually have to look up the definition of these words in-the-dictionary?
See where I’m going with this?
Personally, I would love to give the benefit of doubt to these dictionary-go-toers. But then I do work retail. The moment I try to do such a thing, reality - aka the American public – bites me in the ass, reminding me to rethink future decisions. (insert heavy sigh)
This is why I rant Random Nonsense. Because I’ll tell you something, posting a picture of a fuckin’ Yak makes me laugh. I need to laugh remember. Furthermore, I hope it makes everyone else laugh, too.
I will close 2015 with a random quote about -ism.
Suffixes are as fruitful as they are underappreciated
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December 22, 2015
An Adam Thomas Christmas Blogging Tradition
I was going to reference this as an ‘annual’ post. But considering the fate of my last attempt at something annual, – the (supposed to be) annual ski trip – I opted for ‘tradition’, okay.
Just be glad I don’t sing each aloud and include THAT link.
Schizophrenia — Do You Hear What I Hear?
Multiple Personality Disorder — We Three Kings Disoriented Are
Dementia –I Think I’ll Be Home for Christmas
Narcissistic — Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
Manic — Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and . . .
Paranoid — Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me
Borderline Personality Disorder — Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
Personality Disorder – You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll Tell You Why
Attention Deficit Disorder — Silent Night, Holy OOOOOOOOh look at the Froggy, can I have chocolate, why is France so far away?
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder – Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bell …
author unknown
MERRY CHRISTMAS
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