Adam Thomas's Blog, page 24

Communication Lines

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Hair today, gone tomorrow

On March 11, my barber, let’s name him Fred for post purposes, whom I have been going to for some 14 years, had knee surgery.  Unfortunately, I did not plan accordingly from my last visit.  Now, I really needed a haircut.  Please understand, I am not that neurotic by only allowing one person to cut my hair.  I have so many other things to be concerned with – that is not one of them.  Besides, it’s hair.  It will grow.  And, there’s always gel.  Furthermore, I have ‘strayed’ before. However, this blog was not available then to highlight such… styling indiscretions.

Until now.

First, a few background barber ‘bits:

I have a long face, therefore I need an appropriate cut.  If not, gel gets wasted and … .  It ain’t pretty.
my hair grows faster on the left side of my head.  Truthfully, I’m just happy I have hair that does, in fact, still grow. Though the woman that told me this ’bit inspired this post.  Hmm… .
crew cuts are a very bad look for me
never ask a bald man were to get a haircut*
a few years ago, a styling indiscretion led to a ‘faux’ mullet.  Definitely, something I want to ‘faux’-get.  Luckily, Fred knows nothing about this … faux pas.
Fred takes appointments, charges $17, and is quite the perfectionist.
Lastly, I’s got me a new pair of Revo sunglasses. Cool.  The rims are a clear, charcoal tint.  Since my hair is darker brown the rims appear similarly hued. Very Cool.  I realize this has little to do hair, but it kinda does.  Regardless, sunglasses ARE important.

Now, I had a perfect opportunity to stray without guilt, I might add.  Unfortunately, life got in the way.  Fast-forward another week – I really, really needed a haircut.   Think Wolverine without the lamb chop sideburns.  And, those switchblade knuckle things, of course.  In desperation AND at the advice from a bald butcher named Jake*, I found a … solution.

A local barber shop downtown -

Walk in. Sit right down.  Clip here/clip there. Relief.  Her – attempts conversation. Me – Polite responses.  Cut here/cut there. sigh. Thank you, Jake. Her - more conversation.  Me – thwarted. Still polite, though. Fred never talks. Look in mirror – clean  and short on sides.  I’m good with it.  Snip here/snip … . Pause in mid-snip. Hmm… . Interaction with another stylist. Concerned . ‘New’ technique demonstrated ON MY HEAD.  Don’t panic.  Sneak look in mirror.  Still good with it.  Her – still attempting conversation. Really? Me - no longer polite. Thinning shears. DONE. Final mirror review.  Hair  damp.  But … good?

Arrive at gym.

Remove hat. Hair dry.  Fuck me! Forget ’Wolverine’, I’m Carrottop.  Attempt workout.  No focus.  Ugly haircut. Shit. I am SO not good with this. Panic.  Options. Return to shop – could get ugly. No time. Work at 2pm. Options. Next week? Can’t wait.  I listened to a bald guy! Options. What about … ? Look in mirror.  I could do this.

Home.

Scissors. Bathroom. ONLY SOLUTION.  Garbage can in sink. Fuck the gel. Grab lock of hair. Cringe. CLIP. That was … cathartic. Cutting frenzy.  Looks good.  Another chunk. Better.  Last snip -

Best, worst haircut ever!

Barber Shop Quartet – Late Night Style

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Dishwasher safe

Our dishwasher broke.  Not one of those – change a belt / call it fixed broke.  We are talkin’ – more money to fix / than to buy a new one broke.  Even worse, this is our THIRD dishwasher in fourteen years.  Little did we know that appliances are now manufactured to be repaired or replaced.  Silly me for thinking otherwise, eh?  So, we purchased  a new dishwasher.  Until it arrives and installed, dishes need to washed.  And, I ain’t doing it.

background tidbits about me and dish washing -

growing up,  our dishwasher was always broken. Consequently, I did my fair share of dishes.
 I actually enjoy the chore - it’s an instant accomplishment/gratification task.   You have this big, fucking pile of dirty dishes - add a little soap and water.  Check that off the to do list.
pots and pans are my favorite thing to wash.  Bar Keeper’s Friend totally rocks.
I hate silverware – always have, always will.  Opposite end of that accomplishment/gratification scale – a lot of work; not very visually satisfying.
salad fork tines are very sharp – there was an incident.  No stitches were needed, but it really hurt.  By the way, I’m a bleeder.
Freud would have a field day with my background tidbits.  And, with me for that matter.

Fortunately, the news of our dishwashers  demise had little, if any, impact on my children.  Being a parent, I found this to be … interesting and blog worthy, of course.  So, in the spirit of Freud, I offer my …

parental observations of dish drying habits of my children -

the child that talks the most on a regular basis, talked the least while drying.  Conversely, the child that talks the least, talked the most.  And, I loved every second,  having the best conversation about nothing that meant everything.
my youngest daughter was the only child that put the dishes away as she dried them.  The other two ( older children) stacked the dried dishes up before putting them away.  Hmmm… .
the child that does the least amount of housework, stated that there was no need to buy a new dishwasher.  Her reason – she would do them.  Only when she wanted too, though.  Oddly enough, the child who does the most asked how soon the new dishwasher would be delivered.
none of my children have inherited my hatred of eating utensils.  Though I have noticed, the silverware is usually left to ‘air dry’ and never put away.
no one has complained once about the chore.  However, when we had the dishwasher, it was a constant, nagging battle to get the kids to load the damn thing without an exasperated sigh.

Originally, I was going to title this post – top rack only.  Then realized, that could be … misinterpreted.?

Freud would probably have something to say about that.  Or, he would just ‘throw in the towel’ and let me air dry.

I realize I recently highlighted a song from Jack Johnson.  I strive to keep it eclectic and fresh.   But when an artist can sing a song about Blueberry Pancakes AND Washing Dishes … .  What IS a blogger supposed to do?

Jack Johnson – Washing Dishes

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Marquee Madness

In the spirit of that yearly Basketball frenzy, I offer my own ‘Madness’; without the brackets, of course.  There aren’t enough marquees in Traverse to present 64 pearls of ‘wisdom’.  Besides, no one wants to read my comments on that many.  I’ll be lucky if these ‘Final Four’  make the attention span cut.

HSM – basketball video

You could not care more or work harder

Oh, the irony.  This IS Northern Michigan.  Maybe some of these people do care a bit more.  Unfortunately, it’s not about hard work.  Serious motivational issues run rampant in these parts. I’m thinking that’s more of a generational trend.  I don’t know.  Remember, this IS the age of  entitlement.  I could rant about that for, like, ever.  But, I won’t.  At least right now.

When nothing goes right, turn left

I’ve turned left so many times, I burned out the fuse on my damn blinker.  Furthermore, once you turn left enough times, you come full circle.  Believe me, when that shit happens the only option is a straight on frontal attack.

All joking aside, I’m all about going left.  Though I would like a few things to go right every now and then, too.

Luck is what happens after you give 100%.

All I have to say  is – Bring it! I deserve a  lucky fuckin’ day.  I AM so overdue.

What disease did cured ham actually have?

This is … scandalous.  First, I think it’s really funny.  Especially with Easter having come and gone so recently – Ham is a staple for the brunch table.  Secondly, the debate over ‘curing’ is such a  heated controversy.

There are 2 methods of curing ham, one is to dry cure it where you rub a salt mixture into the pork and hang it up to dry, and the other is a wet cure where you place the pork in either a brine or a pickle and then hang it up to dry. The dry curing of ham is also called country style curing and is a slow method and your meat will keep longer this way than when cured using the wet cure method.

http://www.countryfarm-lifestyles.com/curing-ham.html#.VvkbKv-YbIV

Few ‘cure’ their own meat.  The other alternative is … processed curing.  And, according to the internet, that’s very bad.

Nitrites are the reason cured meat is pink or red. Nitrites turn into Nitric Oxide, which reacts with the oxygen-binding proteins in the meat, changing its color .  Without additives like nitrites, the meat would turn brown very quickly.

Since everything on the internet IS true, commercially cured ham can, in fact, cause a  an uncured consumer of said ham.

Well, I presented both sides of that argument.  I am done with the conversation of the ham.

Funny, I was reading on-the-Internet about how each of the Final Four contenders have had their own … controversies.

Once again – oh, the irony.

Parting thought - consider this the ’Cinderella entry’ that disrupted the entire bracket system.

Free sailboat gas

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MasterCard moment – adamthomasrph.com style

number of posts in my que:     206 – 203 posted     3 drafts

most likes ever received for a single post:     4 – short stack showdown     02-17-2016

number of MasterCard moments:    4 – including this one

rambling weekly about Random Nonsense:     priceless

Well, I’ve hit the 200 post mark.  Actually, I achieved this feat a few weeks back, but … .  Like I said when I hit 100, more current ideas presented themselves.  Since those topics were time sensitive, I needed to take advantage of them in a similar fashion.  That being said, events such as celebrating my posting milestone fell to the blog wayside.

Until now.

Now, it is time to acknowledge my Random Nonsense 200 post accomplishment.  Hooray!

Of course, the number of ‘likes’ could be higher. (Hint, hint)  I realize that is really no indication of quality.  Or so I’m told.   Still, more likes would be nice – and appreciated. (Hint, hint)

Oddly enough, I’ve only had 4 MasterCard moments.  They are quite fun to create.  And, I don’t get a bill in 28 days.  How cool is that?

Lastly, this really is an achievement for me as a writer.  I’ve never been able to wrap my brain around a short story or essay.  When I started writing, I went directly pass Go to novels.  None of this short story, get your feet wet shit.  I went balls out.  After I had a three novels and a screenplay under my belt, it was a challenge to concentrate my thought process into a 500 word post.  And, … I like it.  Hopefully, my prose is entertaining as well.  Thanks for reading, following AND putting up with my Random Nonsense.

Well, that’s it.  The celebration for this milestone is over.  I’m only at 283 words, but knowing when to stop is also … priceless.

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Let’s talk

Rarely, are those words said to me.  Unless it’s my wife wanting to ‘talk’ about the finances, of course.  (heavy sigh)  You see,  socially, I’m an awkward conversationalist. It’s an occupational hazard - after twenty-five years in retail pharmacy, my goal is to streamline every conversation. “Let’s not talk until we need to” is my motto.  That may sound harsh but I don’t fucking care.  I get the job done. I am a very efficient professional communicator. With few negative responses, I might add.  And, yes, I said that to a customer once. Before passing judgment, consider some of the sample conversations I’ve shared via this blog.  Remember the sick chicken whose owner wanted to catheterize it.  Hell, the first 100 pages of  My  Fictionalized  Memoir are patient and employee anecdotes.

This whole ‘conversation’ topic came up when I read a recent Entertainment Weekly article.  Four female entertainers were interviewed. Eva Longoria mentioned that when she is on the  famed ‘red carpet’ she ‘pivots’ the conversation to her advantage .  As an Indie author, I long to have such opportunities to talk book.  Unfortunately, when I do, I lunge forcefully.

So, how do I pivot gracefully into being a better conversationalist?

First - there needs to be that desire.  Right now, I have none.  I want to talk to no one.  Soon, very soon, my change will come and I will need this skill set to navigate my writing career path.

Second - Google it.  Bing it.  Mozilla Firefox it.

Third – Well, … I haven’t gotten here yet.  I’m still on the second step.  But I did find some interesting things.

http://www.essentiallifeskills.net/the-art-of-conversation.html

Quick-Tips for The Art of Conversation

Do not dominate a conversation or make it all about you. A monologue is not conversation.  This is my wife.  Lucky me, eh?
Show interest and curiosity in others.  All I’m usually curious about is how some people actually function.  Then I realize the majority don’t – they’re medicated.
Strive for a balance of give and take.  Retail pharmacy has taken way too much.  I need some give.
Be an active listener by maintaining good eye contact and asking pertinent questions.  I totally rock this.
Do not interrupt and cut in with your own ideas before the other person is finished speaking.  I totally DON’T rock this.
Although this is cliché, try to avoid topics such as sex, religion and politics.  I never talk religion.  Too personal.  I know nothing about politics.  Though it’s a bit ironic none of the 2016 candidates know anything about actual politics either.  Hmm … .  Lastly, I always go to the gutter.  Oh well.
Be prepared by staying on top of the latest news, developments and world events.  Yeah, that probs won’t happen.  And, my wife… .  Well, her brother sarcastically nicknamed her Current Events.  Thirty years ago.

Another section of the article focused on ways to ‘be interesting and have something to say’.  Usually, I have something to say, but it is never interesting.  And, rarely do my ramblings ‘make sense’.

However, with age I have learned a few things.  Knowing when to ‘stop‘ is one of them.

Talking Heads – Stop Making Sense

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…and found

 
Thought provoking and memorable book!

March 5, 2016

An astonishing portrayal of what goes on “behind the counter”.

Fast-paced, poignant, humorous, exciting and beautifully written.

A modern David and Goliath story!

Anastasia

The pen is mightier than the ‘axe’, eh?

Thanks,  Anastasia!

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lost

So, I’ve been subjected to the Amazon ‘axe’.  Not me, personally, but my  ’page’ or listing for My  Life  As  A  Retail  Pharmacist – A  Fictionalized  Memoir  on Amazon.  A wonderfully penned FIVE STAR REVIEW has been removed.  Actually, it was my first, official review.  One that made me feel like I’d … arrived.  As an Indie author trying to make a name for myself in the publishing world, those feelings are hard to attain.  But now it is lost.

Let me explain.

Dianne Bylo is a avid reader, often sought out  by Indie authors, such as myself, to write reviews.  Furthermore, Amazon has recognized her as being a Top something or another Reviewer.  She is not paid and receives nothing from either Amazon or the author.  Any positive review is appreciated.  But, trust me, when someone such as Dianne gives your novel a FIVE STAR REVIEW – it is wonderful.   It is NOT wonderful when Amazon removes said review without warning.  When I discovered her review was gone, I contacted her immediately.  She informed me that apparently she was ‘under investigation’ of some sort.  Dianne has appealed.  However, until that issue is resolved her reviews have been purged.

Purged.  Such a nasty word, isn’t it?

Yes, Amazon is looking out for its customers.  I understand that.  Still, it’s frustrating.  Being an Indie author is … difficult.  The ‘axe’ doesn’t make my job any easier.  Fortunately, I have other reviews I am equally proud of.  And, more reviews will be added.  Hint, hint.

Until that time, enjoy the music video below.  My daughter brought it to my attention and it’s rather fitting, considering the circumstances.  I didn’t necessarily ‘lose‘ my review in ‘the fire’, but I did get burned.

Things we lost … – Bastille

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Dear Editor

The point-of-care-testing Sonia Collins described in her innovations article is NOT a ‘promise’ by any means.  It is a cluster-fuck.  Furthermore, our “huge responsibility as pharmacists and as a profession” is to dispense medications written by medically trained doctors.  I do not, and will never feel, the need “to demonstrate that (we) have this skill set“.  If I wanted to perform Strep tests on walk-in pharmacy customers complaining of a sore throat, I WOULD’VE GONE TO MEDICAL SCHOOL.

Such innovations require increased staff AND training – none of which any retailer will adequately commit to.  Instead, we pharmacists would be cattle-called to the District Office, given a Power Point presentation on proper technique, and swab the gross saliva of the person to our left.  Then we would be instructed on how to work such innovations into our budgeted hours.  That, Ms. Collins, is NOT proper patient care.  That is a cluster-fuck.

A concerned retail pharmacist

No, that letter  was never sent to the editor.  Actually, the damn professional journal I found that article in didn’t even have a designated section for such responses.  I wonder why?

As a rule, I rarely write letters/comments about articles I’ve read.  And, testimonials… .  Well, everyone knows how much I love testimonials.

However, I do look forward to reading the Letters to the Editor section of every magazine I receive on a scheduled basis.  It’s just fun.  Some letters are quite eloquent, definitely following the ‘How to write a … ‘ link below.  Others, like the ficticious offering above, can be a heated, rambling mess; foul language often included.  Regardless of the content, Letters to the Editor are a hoot to read.

How to write a Letter to the Edtor

Vanity Fair often focuses on  influential individuals and tackles controversial, yet interesting subject matter. Since the reader base is quite affluent, the letters responding to the articles are similar in nature.  Added bonus, Editor Grayden Carter writes his own ‘forward‘ in every issue.  Wonderfully done.

In a recent issue of SKIING, several comments to a recently published article were included.  The readers did NOT click that link before penning their letter.  Heated.  Very heated.  But, the editor of the magazine AND the author of the article apologized if the content of said article was ‘taken in the wrong way’.   That was a fun little read.

Lastly, Entertainment Weekly is always good for highlighting the views of their readers.  This is actually the exception to my ‘rule’.  On numerous occasions, I have sent a quick e-mail to EW, praising their great strides to recognize both Indie and main stream authors.  In the past, the Books section of the weekly magazine has been minimal.  That has changed.  Kudos! And, thanks.  Though I’m still waiting for the cover of my book to be the center of  The Bullseye!

Sincerely,

Adam Thomas

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29

No, 29 is NOT the title for Adele’s next album.  From what I’ve read, she’s done with ‘numbers’.  But, it does reference an event that happens once every four years – February 29 and/or Sadie Hawkins Day, depending on who you ask.

What IS a Leap Year?

The Earth orbits the sun every 365.2422 days (0.2422 days is equal to 5 hours, 48 minutes and 46 seconds, roughly 1/4 of a day). Every 365 1/4 days (not exactly 365 days), the Earth returns to the same exact spot in its orbit. That is why we have a leap year roughly every 4 years, to synchronize the seasons with our calendar; if we had a 365-day calendar every year, the seasons would drift around the calendar.

Zoom School/Enchanted Learning site

Random global Leap Year facts -

In 5th century Ireland, St. Bridget complained to St. Patrick about women having to wait for men to propose. In response, he deemed one day in February every Leap Year women would be allowed to propose.


According to Greek superstition, it is bad luck to get married during a Leap Year. Consequently, 1 in 5 engaged Greek couples avoid Leap Year weddings.


A law passed in Scotland in 1288 allowed for women to propose to men on February 29th. If a man refused, he was fined. Usually that fine was a kiss, silk dress, or a pair of gloves. If you ask me, someone got off easy. Maybe everyone?

 

Who the hell is Sadie Hawkins?

Sadie Hawkins Day is rooted in the story of Sadie Hawkins, a character created by Al Capp in the comic strip Li’l Abner. Described as “the homeliest gal in the hills,” Sadie was unable get a date; so her father, a prominent citizen in the town of Dogpatch, named a day after her to help Sadie get a man. On Sadie Hawkins Day, a footrace was held in Dogpatch so the women could pursue the town’s eligible bachelors.

Capp’s creation captured the imagination of young people, particularly in high schools and on college campuses. In 1939, only two years after its inauguration, a double-page spread in Life proclaimed, “On Sadie Hawkins Day, Girls Chase Boys in 201 Colleges”. Capp originally created it as a comic plot device, but by the early 1940s the comic strip event had swept the nation and acquired a life of its own.

In the US, Sadie Hawkins Day (SHD) is usually ‘observed’ the first Saturday in November most likely to coincide with the cartoon anniversary – 11/15/1937.    However, in recent years celebrating SHD in February has become a pop culture - aka women - phenomenon.

http://leapyearday.com/content/sadie-hawkins-day-no

Why do some want the SHD moved to February 29? You’re guess is as good as mine.  Maybe we should ‘propose’ that question to women.  They know everything don’t they? (Note: sarcastic tone implied)

Sadie Hawkins Day Race – silent movie

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