S.M. Phillips's Blog, page 5
September 10, 2014
Fight for you cover reveal – Charisse Spiers
EXPECTED RELEASE: December 2014
To fight and win means the control is his and only his. The last man standing proves it all. Never again will he be on the losing end of the blow, the one lying broken and bloody wanting to die.
Control. Dominance. Aggression. Competition. Each represent a means to survival, a necessity to stay alive, and to suppress the demons that lie inside; the very ones clawing and attempting to break free from the bar that holds them at bay. Every day is a struggle to stay away from the darkness and evil that lurks deep within. Those are the things that it takes to keep those secrets in the realm of his mind in which they belong, forever buried so far there is no chance to break through the barrier he’s built.
Haddox Hayes has spent the last nine years getting by. He’s worked hard to forget that bloodthirsty night he left behind. The monster that exists within his veins will never be released again if he keeps a clear mind, and free from the debris he knows triggers his instinct to kill. He knows what can happen if it’s unlocked from its cage.
Fuck that. It can go to Hell along with the bastard that is the cause of his eternal torment. Eighteen years paid his sin, and at the age of twenty-seven the guilt still resides in his very core.
There is only one place he sets the monster free, but restricted: the ring. Playing by his rules has kept it on a leash for nine years and he doesn’t intend to break his rules now. The rage, the anger, the buildup, it’s all turned out in the confinement of the ropes against another traitor.
Stay in control. That’s the only thing that keeps his urge to annihilate smothered. Dominate the mind and the memories it holds. Fight aggression with fucking aggression. Be the best there is and lay his ass on the ground before the favor can be returned. Compete to win and to survive, or else the evil that is trying to consume will take over and turn him into the one thing he can’t become. If he becomes that, it has to be paid by death, the most ultimate rule.
A blackened heart isn’t allowed to partake in something as pure as love. He embraces the sweet nectar that a woman holds, sampling a little at a time. Never has he taken the same woman to bed twice. The only way to ensure he doesn’t harm another. A Dom in the ring and a Dom in the bed, his only way to cope within.
Then there’s Piper…the girl that could cause his control to evanesce. Will she be his downfall or his reparation? The entertainment is in the fight. Fight for love, fight for light, fight for her, or end in flight.
A girl with a ban against love, allowing men to bed her to numb her mind from the one that left her behind. Can the girl that won’t submit and the man that requires control find paradise in each other?
Twitter/Facebook hashtag #FightForYou
We finally get in the bar after standing in that long ass line. The music is bumping and there are bodies everywhere, grinding against each other. I let my body subtly sway to the music as I make my way to the bar in the back of the club.
The first thing I notice is the hot, shirtless bartender making drinks as I push through the never ending people surrounding it. The bar is always more crowded than any other spot in the building. I love this place. It’s crawling with hot guys and they have the best music around, not to mention the staff is oozing sex appeal, because their uniform is jeans hanging low on the hips with the elastic brief band of underwear peeking out the top, spelling out the brand they represent.
This one, in particular, is yummy. His torso is chiseled to perfection and covered in tattoos placed perfectly against his skin. He’s definitely worth a second look. I want to nibble on that lip ring in the corner of his mouth. As I study each line of muscle, I find myself wondering if Haddox’s body looks like this.
What the hell, Piper?
Hot bartender notices me ogling him and walks over with a smirk, leaning forward on his forearms against the top of the bar in front of me. “What can I get you, beautiful?” His eyes rake down my body as if he’s already undressing me with his eyes.
I smile. This one’s in the bag. “Well, how about Pineapple and Vodka, light on the pineapple,” I say in my most flirtatious voice as I sit on the stool next to me that just became free. “Start me a tab,” I ask, biting my lip.
“Anything for you, gorgeous,” he says and reaches down for a glass, preparing to mix my concoction. Moments later, he sets it before me, smiling. “What you doing later?”
“I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me,” I say seductively as I press the rim of the glass to my mouth.
“She’ll be with me,” a sultry voice interrupts in a close range behind me.
The bartender looks over my head and starts to back away from the bar. “Sorry, man, I didn’t know she was taken. No disrespect.”
Pussy. I don’t need you anyway if you can’t even ask my relationship status to the one person that knows. Me!
I feel like banging my head against the bar. I’m going to need to be intoxicated for this. I press my lips to the glass and drain the contents. Goose bumps start to form as I can feel breathing on the side of my neck. I don’t need to look to know who it is. “I thought I had until midnight,” he barks outside my ear.
I can barely breathe with him this close to me. How am I supposed to speak? I don’t think I want to at risk of sounding like a crushing schoolgirl.
Put on your game face, Piper.
I need more alcohol and fast. I choose to ignore the sexy as shit control freak next to me. Where is Alyvia when I need her? She was only supposed to have been going to the restroom, but knowing her she’s already in the middle of the dance floor, covered in sweat. The girl doesn’t even need alcohol. She usually sips beer, but comes for the music.
The Rumple Minze from earlier is calling out to me. “Rumple Minze, two shots,” I call out to the female bartender as she passes.
The girl is badass. Not even a minute and the shots are patiently waiting for me to consume them. “What can I get for you, sweetie,” she asks, but her line of vision is directly beside me. It doesn’t even seem to faze her that she is staring at the sexiest man alive. Hard-core is what that means, because even girls in the coffee shop had their eyes glued to him.
“Same as usual, Britt.” She smiles at the sound of her name.
Wait a minute? Hold up…they know each other? I come to this bar frequently and I’ve never seen him until the fashion show.
She grabs a bottle from the tub of ice, twists off the cap, and sits the bottle of Bud Light down in front of him. “My mistake, babe. How you been? Same ole broody Haddox, I’m guessing?”
“Something like that,” he replies, saying nothing more.
“And as vague as usual too. Maybe we can catch once the bar slows down. Enjoy your night,” she winks and glances over at me.
I consume one shot, followed by the other. My nerves are going haywire. The alcohol is finally coursing through my veins, leaving me in a more relaxed state of mind, though not much.
I feel a hand wrap around my thigh, not far from my girly area. Oh my…
He spins me around on the stool until I’m facing him. He’s so close to my face that I reflexively lean against the edge of the bar. “Are you going to answer my question,” he asks, placing his free hand on my other thigh, now holding me in place.
He starts to rub my inner thighs with his thumbs and my muscles are flexing down below. How can I concentrate on anything he’s saying if he’s going to do that? He roughly pulls me to the edge so that he can align his body between my legs. It’s really a good thing that I’m not modest, because my dress is hiked up. If his body wasn’t pressed to mine, I would be flashing everyone.
In my hesitation he speaks again. “I don’t like to be toyed with, Piper, nor do I like to be kept waiting.”
He’s starting that controlling bullshit again, pulling me out of my hormonal haze. I press my palms against his chest and push, but he doesn’t budge. The alcohol is bringing out my bitchiness. “Maybe I don’t like to give myself to a man that hesitates when given the opportunity. I basically put my pussy on a platter and extended it to you, only for you to have to consider it. That’s not good enough for me. I may not be the girl to take home to mom, but I’m better than that.”
A growl sounds within his throat and he clamps down on my thighs, jerking me closer to him. His cock is bulging through his jeans, aligned between my legs. Fuck, does it feel marvelous. He grinds me against him, his body flush with mine, and his lips just outside my ear. “Does this answer your question?” His voice sounds angry. “Do you want to know how hard you make me? Huh? Do you want to know how much you push the limits of my control? Well, get ready baby, because tonight you’re all mine.”
I can’t think of anything but how much I want this. I don’t think I’ve wanted anything this much in a really long time, possibly ever. Something about him takes me out of my head, allowing me to escape into someplace else. I can’t explain it, because I don’t understand it myself. I feel like such a whore right now, but I don’t care. I’m never like this; given the fact that what happened last night did, but that’s also more reason I want to. I want to rid my body of the toxins it holds. I don’t want anything left behind of Cole tainting me.
“Okay,” I state in a breathy voice. “Where?”
“My place. Meet me outside and don’t tell Alyvia where you’re going. I’m not dealing with her shit tonight.”
He reaches down and adjusts himself, separating us. The distance makes me feel naked. I instantly hop off the stool, attempting to fix my dress. I look around, but no one is paying us any attention. They are too worried about getting laid themselves; the beauty of a bar. “Give me ten minutes?”
He nods and takes a step back before halting. “Oh and Piper?” I look at him, waiting on what he has to say. “I’ll give you what you want, but just remember darkness and light can’t coincide. You have to pick a side. Don’t say I didn’t warn you…”
He turns and walks in the direction of the exit. I’m not exactly sure what he meant by that, but I don’t care. Sometimes, I feel like I don’t fit in trying to be this girl that I am from day to day. Maybe I’m living a lie. When choosing either sinner or saint, I’m definitely not a saint, but I strive to be a decent person. Perhaps the darkness is where I belong.
I may not know many things about Haddox Hayes, but I know one thing: You can’t force someone in a place they aren’t already willing to go. Something is pulling me to him, making me want to explore whatever he has to offer. It’s just a hunch, but I get a feeling, I’d choose darkness with him every time.
I developed a passion for reading I never knew I had in November of 2012 when I decided to give eBooks a try. Since then I can’t go a day without some form of a book or character running wild through my mind. For almost a year I constantly had a book pulled up on my Kindle app for my iPad. The beauty of self-publishing is that you can interact with the authors, which is how I started writing. I never knew I had the creativity to write a novel until I began conversing with another Indie author. If you ever think that Indie authors don’t like getting feedback from readers, you are very wrong. I began editing for a fellow author and because she took a leap of faith in me and told me to give writing a shot, I am now an Indie author myself. I cannot tell you how amazing this journey has been. It is hard putting yourself out there for the public eye with all of the reviews that come through, but it’s also amazing. I have met some of the most genuine people and people I would consider friends even though I’ve never met them face to face. I have now published the first two books in the Fate series, Accepted Fate and Twisting Fate and I am starting book three Lasting Fate to be released November 2, 2014. I cannot wait to see where this journey takes me and feel free to interact with me here or on social media. I will respond. :)
| GOODREADS | FACEBOOK |
Twitter: @cspiersauthor
Google Plus:
+CharisseSpiers
August 20, 2014
Fallen down under synopsis
For those of you who have read Escape down under here is the synopsis for Fallen down under.
Escape down under is now available for download on:
~ Amazon
~ Kobo
~ Nook
“Fuck.” I slam my fist into the desk before me and feel nothing but rage. I need to go after her. I need to explain. “But isn’t this what you wanted?” The voice inside my head whispers. “Isn’t this a nice easy way out?”
Everything Max has done has always been at a cost to others around him. He wasn’t about to make that mistake again. No longer will his selfish ways punish those close to him. Sometimes it’s better to have had and lost than to never have had at all.
Finally after what felt like forever, Jess was getting a glimpse of control over her life again and allowed her defences to come crashing down, only to have what it guarded to be crushed once again. Now, on the other side of the world away from her friends, she doesn’t know what to do.
Should she stay or should she go?
Is it too late or have they both fallen too far into something that is completely out of their depths?
Be sure to add it to your TBR on Goodreads
August 19, 2014
Obsession – coming soon…
Hi guys,
I’m sure you all probably know already, but just incase you don’t, I have a new series coming out later this year on December 8th called Obsession.
Here’s the synopsis, and a few teasers to keep you going ;)
Obsession knows no bounds…
Anna Jameson can’t wait to escape the hell hole that her cousin has left her in. Desperate to escape her past, the idea of moving to stay with Holly whist she got her head together sounded like the perfect plan… Until Holly upped and left, leaving Anna to pick up the mess that she left behind.
Jensen Blake knows what he wants and will not be told otherwise. Obedience and control are what he knows best. With demons of his own, he has spent most of his adult life traveling from place to place the moment things started to become predictable.
When Jensen and Anna are pushed together, an instant dislike simmers between them. Anna hates bad boys. She has witnessed enough of them to last her a lifetime.
The sexual attraction between them is evident but will that only make things harder for them both to handle?
Be sure to add it on Goodreads
August 18, 2014
Fight for you ~ coming December!!!
I cannot tell you how excited I am about this up coming release!!!
My lovely lady Charisse Spiers is about to do it again with this Erotic story.
Be sure to add Fight for you to your goodreads. You really don’t want to miss this beauty ~ I’ve had a sample ( I know, I know… What can I say? She loves me!!!) and it doesn’t disappoint.
Here’s the sypnosis:
Note from the author: 18+ please
To fight and win means the control is his and only his. The last man standing proves it all. Never again will he be on the losing end of the blow, the one lying broken and bloody wanting to die.
Control. Dominance. Aggression. Competition. Each represent a means to survival, a necessity to stay alive, and to suppress the demons that lie inside; the very ones clawing and attempting to break free from the bar that holds them at bay. Every day is a struggle to stay away from the darkness and evil that lurks deep within. Those are the things that it takes to keep those secrets in the realm of his mind in which they belong, forever buried so far there is no chance to break through the barrier he’s built.
Haddox Hayes has spent the last nine years getting by. He’s worked hard to forget that bloodthirsty night he left behind. The monster that exists within his veins will never be released again if he keeps a clear mind, and free from the debris he knows triggers his instinct to kill. He knows what can happen if it’s unlocked from its cage.
Fuck that. It can go to Hell along with the bastard that is the cause of his eternal torment. Eighteen years paid his sin, and at the age of twenty-seven the guilt still resides in his very core.
There is only one place he sets the monster free, but restricted: the ring. Playing by his rules has kept it on a leash for nine years and he doesn’t intend to break his rules now. The rage, the anger, the buildup, it’s all turned out in the confinement of the ropes against another traitor.
Stay in control. That’s the only thing that keeps his urge to annihilate smothered. Dominate the mind and the memories it holds. Fight aggression with fucking aggression. Be the best there is and lay his ass on the ground before the favor can be returned. Compete to win and to survive, or else the evil that is trying to consume will take over and turn him into the one thing he can’t become. If he becomes that, it has to be paid by death, the most ultimate rule.
A blackened heart isn’t allowed to partake in something as pure as love. He embraces the sweet nectar that a woman holds, sampling a little at a time. Never has he taken the same woman to bed twice. The only way to ensure he doesn’t harm another. A Dom in the ring and a Dom in the bed, his only way to cope within.
Then there’s Piper…the girl that could cause his control to evanesce. Will she be his downfall or his reparation? The entertainment is in the fight. Fight for love, fight for light, fight for her, or end in flight.
A girl with a ban against love, allowing men to bed her to numb her mind from the one that left her behind. Can the girl that won’t submit and the man that requires control find paradise in each other?
August 15, 2014
Twisting Fate (fate #2) review
I’ll always find you, ’till death do us part…
A fantastic 5***** read!!!
So anyone that knows me will know that I absolutely adore Charisse Spiers and her writing is the perfect icing on the cake.
I completely fell in love with her debut Accepted Fate
Now, let me start of by saying how distraught I was at the end of Accepted Fate and couldn’t wait to find out more after THAT ending… Charisse definitely didn’t disappoint with the next instalment of the Fate series. I felt every kind of emotion possible whilst reading Twisting Fate, from hurt to anger, elation and excitement to name just a few.
Twisting Fate picks up directly from where Accepted Fate ended and once again Charisse captures your mind through her story telling and leaves you wanting more.
Seriously I could go into a whole low down on specific events and I really want to… But I’d hate to be the party pooper, I think it’s only fair that you experience this for yourselves.
One word I will say is: EMOTIONAL!!!
I’m really looking forward to reading Lasting Fate to see what happens next.
Charisse hurry up and keep them coming… Pretty please
August 14, 2014
Jensen is coming…
Be sure to mark December 8th in your diaries…
Not only is this a special (age changing) day for me, this is also the day that my next series Obsession will be released into the book world for all you lovelies to read.
Who is Jensen I hear you ask? Well, he’s fiesty, he’s arrogant and he’s downright beautiful!!!
More will be revealed in the next few months, but for now feel free to add this beauty to your goodreads shelf to keep him company
August 7, 2014
Slade (Walk of Shame #1) – Victoria Ashley
“I’ll fuck you so good that my cock will be the only one you ever fucking think about again. Let me show you.”
Holy fucking hell, for the love of all things holy I need to get me my own Slade Merrick!!!
I know, I know. I’m extremely late in leaving a review… However, for anyone who has by chance missed this USA Today and New York Times best seller , it’s definitely one you don’t want to miss!!!
Where do I start?
Everyone loves an Alpha, and boy what an Alpha he is. I was hooked from page one.
I’m a sucker for a bad boy, especially a damaged one. Victoria Ashley definitely has a wicked way with words that suck you right in. Straight from the first page I knew this was going to be an amazing read.
Slade is fierce, hot and you would be proud as hell to take the #walkofshame with him… And then some!!!
Aspen, our leading lady doesn’t disappoint either. Not only is she beautiful, she is also extremely independent and knows what she wants.
Seriously, how is a girl supposed to give this book 5 stars when it deserves so many more???
I’m now eagerly awaiting the release of Hemy (walk of shame #2) – don’t forget to add it to your TBR.
Hurry up Victoria… Pretty please :)
July 31, 2014
Lasting Fate (#3 fate series) by Charisse Spiers
Lasting Fate Excerpt:
Preston
I pull into the drive and the garage is open. I’ve told Kinzleigh to keep it shut. It’s a nice area, but that doesn’t mean we don’t get strays from time to time looking for easy access to steal. Kinzleigh’s mom should be here soon to help her with the baby for a few days. Maybe she’s already here. I could use her help so I can get some work done. I’m swamped with projects and a new baby is more work than I thought. I try to give Kinzleigh a break when I get home.
Pulling under my garage door, I park and kill the engine. I grab my satchel that I take back and forth from the office and step out of my beamer. It’s been a long day. I grab the knot of my tie and pull, loosening it. When I get to the door my heart drops to my stomach. It’s cracked. My first thought is that someone has broken in. I push it open and walk inside.
I drop my bag at the door and pick up pace when I hear Bryce screaming at the top of his lungs. A fear I’ve never known races through my body. What if she’s hurt? “Kinzleigh,” I call out throughout the house. I get no response. When I make it to the living room Bryce is lying in his bassinet screaming and Kinzleigh is lying on the couch staring off into space like a zombie, ignoring him.
His face is blood red like he’s been crying for a while. I reach over and pick him up, pulling him to my chest. “Hey, buddy. Shh, shh, shh. It’s okay,” I say as I rock him. It’s not helping. He’s obviously hungry or wet. Hell, I don’t know. I’ve never had a baby before and I’m a guy. I would get cranky if I was hungry. Kinzleigh is breast-feeding, so I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.
“Kinzleigh, when is the last time you fed him?” I look over at her, still attempting to calm him down. My ears are stinging from his constant crying. I can’t think. She has not even acknowledged I’m in the room. “Kinzleigh, what the fuck?” The only type of response I get from her are tears that fall from the corners of her eyes and they trickle down her nose before dropping onto the leather of the sofa.
”I can’t,” is all she says and goes back to staring off into space. What the hell does that even mean, she can’t?
“You can’t or you won’t? What happened to you? Are you sick?” He is still screaming, so I reach in the bassinet and get his pacifier, hoping it calms him a little until I can figure out what the hell I’m supposed to do now.
“I can’t,” she says again. She’s not even looking at him. I begin walking towards her in an attempt to see what’s wrong and get her to feed him. She closes her eyes before I get there. “Please don’t. I can’t hold him. Please, take him somewhere else. Please…” I don’t understand. She was fine when I left for work. I try to give him his pacifier. We don’t have any formula, because she wanted to feed him naturally. How does everything change so drastically in twelve hours?
He takes it for a second before he figures out nothing is coming out of it and spits it back out, now mad as hell. I can’t deal with this shit right now. I’m worried about her, because she’s not acting right, but I have to get him calmed down first. Pulling out my phone from the pocket of my slacks, I hit one of the contacts in my immediate access list. It rings for a minute before the line picks up. “Preston? It’s seven thirty and the sitter just left. Do I need to call her back? Is that Bryce? Is he okay?”
Her voice is drowned out by his crying. I walk out of the room with the phone up to my ear. “Hey, Macie. I need your help. It’s an emergency. It’s about Kinzleigh. You can bring Talon.”
“Anything, Preston. Is she okay?”
I peek my head back in the door. She’s still lying on the couch in the exact same position she was when I left. She is still staring at the wall blankly, no emotion registering on her face. “I don’t think so. I came home and Bryce was screaming in his bassinet. She’s just lying on the couch in a vegetative state. She won’t hold him. I have no idea when she’s fed him last. Can you bring some formula?”
“I think I know what’s wrong with her. I’ll be right there. Give me fifteen minutes.” She doesn’t wait for an answer before disconnecting the call. I slide the phone back in my pocket and begin bouncing him slightly while I pat his back. His tiny head is resting against my cheek.
“It’s okay, buddy. We’ll get your mama fixed, okay? Don’t worry. She must have a reason for letting you cry, she has to. You’ll love her. She’s kind of hard not to love.” His cry is dying down, from the exhaustion I’m sure, but not stopping completely. I stand in the doorway watching her. I’ve never in my entire life seen her like this, not even when her grandmother died. It’s like her soul has been sucked from her body, leaving nothing but a hollow woman lying in this big house.
I’m scared to know what that means. I need to talk to Macie. I have a strange feeling I’m losing her. I’ve never been in love with a girl like I’m in love with Kinzleigh, and I never will be again, but I can’t stand seeing her like this. If this is going to be the girl she becomes, then I’ll have to make another choice, one that is going to forever destroy me for a woman. I won’t trap her. We were happy before he came back. I won’t watch her disintegrate and become lifeless to preserve my own happiness.
The realization occurs that if she doesn’t get better I may have to let her go. Watching her lay as if she is alive, but dead, is killing me inside. I’ve never been an emotional guy until I went back to Mississippi that night and saw her the way I did. Something changed in me that night. From that point forward it wasn’t about me, but her. I learned that when you love someone, you do what’s best for them, even if it isn’t what’s best for you.
I want to walk over to her right now, but I have to take care of Bryce first. I made a promise to love and take care of both of them. I’m going to keep that promise for as long as I can. Right now I’m scared and I don’t know how long I’m going to get to hold onto what has become my family. Just because this child doesn’t share my blood, he still shares a piece of my heart. I kiss the top of his head. He finally cried himself to sleep, but he won’t be asleep long. Macie should be here soon. I can tell his diaper needs to be changed anyway.
I stare at the girl that captured my heart from the time I was just a teenager. I’ve really grown into a man from then to now. I rub my thumb back and forth on Bryce’s head, above his ear. “I need to leave you for a minute, but I promise I’ll come take care of you,” I whisper into the air in her direction. “I love you, Kinzleigh.” My eyes fill to the brim with tears, but I close my lids before they have the chance to fall. She doesn’t have room in her life for someone that can’t contain his emotions.
I kiss the top of his head; his baby smell fills my nostrils. “I love you also, buddy.” I hold him close to me and begin walking in the direction of the stairs and towards his room. I’m going to savor every moment with the two of them. My brain wants me to believe that I still have them forever, but my heart is preparing me for the worst.
After changing his diaper, I sit in the rocker and start to rock him. Macie walks in with a bottle in hand. She takes one look at me and gets a saddened look in her eyes, more like a look of pity. “You’ve gotten attached to him, haven’t you?”
“Yeah.” I am not one of those guys that talk about the emotions fighting against each other deep inside. I prefer to keep to myself. Revealing parts of yourself to others sets you up for gossip and judgment. Coming from a family in the media that was something you didn’t do. Kinzleigh is the only person I’ve ever let in.
“I hope I’m not overstepping any boundaries, because I really like you as a boss and a person, but you know there is only way to fix her, right?” I continue rocking back and forth, staring at the wall before me. I want to know, but at the same time I don’t. I’m not sure I want to know the answer, because I think I already do.
“What’s that?”
“Preston, you can’t fight soul mates. I know you love her, and I really believe she loves you in return, but she’s meant for him. His return has changed the rules of the game. Her soul is fighting her, mourning for its other half. A doctor is going to tell you it’s postpartum depression, but we both know what’s really wrong with her.”
I’m getting mad. Things were going great before he came back. I’m not going to be an asshole and say I wish he would’ve died, because I don’t, but she’s the only girl I’ve ever wanted. That should count for something. “So, you think I should just hand her over to him? What kind of a man hands over the only thing he wants in life. I’ve only ever loved her…”
“I’m saying you should set her free. She made you a promise, and I don’t think she’s going to break it. Her soul is turning against her, rebelling until she gives it what it wants. As silly as it sounds, I really believe someone can die of a broken heart. Would you rather keep her alive and well or allow her to suffer slowly? If you really love her, prove it, and set her free her from the ropes that bind her. Selflessness, that’s the ultimate sacrifice in love.”
I look down at the bundle in my arms. I can’t let them go yet. I need a little more time. She could still get better. She has to get better. I’m trying to convince myself, but it’s not working. Bryce wakes up crying. “Here, give him to me. Talon is watching television in the spare room downstairs. Go tend to her. She needs someone. She looks horrible.”
I stand and hand him to her. I watch her sit in the chair, but I can’t quit looking at him. “Preston…” I glance up at her. “We’ll be fine. I’ve raised one baby. Go on.” I nod and follow instructions, leaving the room. When I get to where Kinzleigh is, she looks worse than she did before. It feels like someone has a hold on my heart and squeezing as hard as they can until it pops.
I get to her and squat down so that I’m at her level. “Kinzleigh,” I whisper. Her eyes are void of all life and emotion. She doesn’t look at me. It’s as if she can’t even hear me.
Fuck it. I can’t take this anymore.
I slide my arms underneath her and lift her, pulling her against my chest. “I’ll do whatever I have to do to fix you, Kinz. I promise.” I walk her upstairs and into our bathroom, sitting her on the toilet. She slumps slightly, but holds herself up.
“Lift your arms,” I state. She does as I say. I remove her shirt and she lowers them back down. I unclasp her bra and remove that too. She is now sitting in just her underwear. I unbutton my shirt and let it fall to the floor. Grabbing the collar of my undershirt, I pull it over my head and toss it down on the other one, forming a pile.
I work quickly to unfasten my belt and pants, letting them drop to the floor as well. Stepping out of my shoes and pants in unison, I kick them to the side. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I pick her up and she wraps her legs around me, and then lays her head against my chest. I walk over to the large round tub and step in. Reaching forward and down, I turn the nozzle and adjust the settings until the water is warm.
I sit down as the bathtub fills with water. My eyes fill with moisture again, but this time I let them fall. My heart is breaking, shattering is a more appropriate word. The only things at the forefront of my mind are the things Macie said. I hold her wrapped in my arms and silently cry.
My heart is trying to convince my mind that it’s wrong, duking it out on what’s best for her. I don’t want to let her go. I want to love her each and every day for the rest of my life. I want to give her the world, and be her world, but after seeing how she reacted to him at the hotel that day and seeing her when she told him goodbye, and looking at her now, my mind is overpowering my heart. It’s clear that what I want and what she wants are two different things.
I could hold onto her if I wanted, but my love for her guilt’s me, and won’t let me do this to her. I feel like I’m being gutted at the realization of what I have to do. I’ll never be the same after this. I’ll never give my heart to another woman. When I do this I’m defying everything I was taught by giving in. I’m sacrificing my happiness for hers. When her and Bryce go, my heart goes with them.
After holding her in the bathtub and trying to convince myself to go back on my decision, I bathed her and gave her some sleeping medicine from the cabinet. I lay her in the bed and pull the covers over her. It doesn’t take her long before her eyes begin to roll in the back of her head and her lids close.
Her cell phone on the nightstand starts to ring. I notice it’s an unsaved number. Trying not to wake her, I answer the call. “Hello.”
The line is silent. “Can I talk to Kinzleigh?”
I look down at her. She is sleeping and looks peaceful for the first time since I got home from work. I’m not waking her. Besides, I’m about to give her over to the bastard anyway; he can let me have a few more hours.
“Now’s not a good time,” I say.
“Are we really going to play it this way?” He breathes and I walk out of the room, quietly shutting the door. I move far enough away she can’t hear me if she wakes.
I need him to stop calling, because what I have to do has to be done in person and I don’t need him to worry Kinzleigh until this is done. “She doesn’t want to see you, Breyson. Please stop calling.” I disconnect the call and throw the phone at the wall, leaving a crack and a now shattered phone.
I run my hands through my hair and rest against the wall, sliding down until I’m sitting on the floor. Leaning my head back I close my eyes.
Meet Charisse Spiers
I developed a passion for reading I never knew I had in November of 2012 when I decided to give eBooks a try. Since then I can’t go a day without some form of a book or character running wild through my mind. For almost a year I constantly had a book pulled up on my Kindle app for my iPad. The beauty of self publishing is that you can interact with the authors, which is how I started writing. I never knew I had the creativity to write a novel until I began conversing with another Indie author. If you ever think that Indie authors don’t like getting feedback from readers, you are very wrong. I began editing for a fellow author and because she took a leap of faith in me and told me to give writing a shot, I am now an Indie author myself. I cannot tell you how amazing this journey has been. It is hard putting yourself out there for the public eye with all of the reviews that come through, but it’s also amazing. I have met some of the most genuine people and people I would consider friends even though I’ve never met them face to face. I have now published the first two books in the Fate series, Accepted Fate and Twisting Fate and I am starting book three Lasting Fate to be released November 2, 2014. I cannot wait to see where this journey takes me and feel free to interact with me here or on social media. I will respond. :)
