Lia Golledge's Blog, page 5

Broken Heart Notes: I’m a Goddess without You

If there’s no end to energy, how do you describe the end of love? The end of love is pain. It must be pain.

We broke up and everything after that was blurry details. I can’t feel my body, I don’t have appetite- the urgency to live normal human would have. I’m still living, eating, reading, sleeping, but with no soul in it. I feel like I’m in my auto-pilot mode. Sometimes I feel extremely motivated, sometimes I feel blue. You’ve heard the 7 stages of grieve? I went through it all in one day.

Memories come like a kid who play hide and seek. When they find you, you immediately feel upset. Like when months after we part, under the crispy moon light, I walked through Ubud’s cracking pavements slowly through Monkey Forest street. It’s the road where we used to walk together. It still feels like I see us in front of me, walking. Your broad shoulder and strong hands holding some of my shopping bags. I can see us stopping at a store and you encouraged me to buy the expensive dress in one of Ubud’s overpriced boutiqes, “Get it. You look beautiful in it, just get it!”

Some part of Ubud’s Monkey Forest street is darker than the other. I walked past the fish spa where we used to sat and had our feet skinned by the small fishes. I still can feel our feet touching under water and we chuckled because it was so ticklish. When I’m with you… I have endless reasons to smile.

Our memories were black and white, but the anger in me was flaming red. I heard my voice blaring in my head, “You said, you won’t give up on me? You’re a liar… a LIAR!” You answered me rather coldly, “I don’t give up on you, I give up on me.”

I walked with tears tiptoed on the corner of my eyes and I carefully guard it not to fall down on my cheek. It was busy days with literary festival at the streets of Ubud. Ladies in Balinese dress stand up on the street, enthusiastically offering me food or massage. I can’t spoiled the fun and shared my agony with them.

“Why are you torturing yourself?” It’s you again in my ear.

“I’m NOT torturing myself! I’m making peace with myself!” I’m upset at how easy you dismissed your feelings toward me.

For the record, I don’t want to avoid pain. I just want to look at the memories in the eyes. If there’s a perfect time for that, it’s now. I want our memories to be cleared out of my head and my heart, so I can peacefully moving on and meet someone who genuinely share the same vision in life and love me unconditionally like the way lovers want to feel loved.

I was a bit tired. A motorcycle taxi helped me to go to Bebek Bengil, where I ordered my food as usual without looking at the menu: original crispy duck and cold water, please.

I sat down on the chair facing the desk that we used to sit. I ate my duck slowly with a lot of sambal matah, the kind of sliced chili mixed with something that taste like lemon, trying to numb my headache. Boxing my feelings for months and unboxing it in Ubud was not a good plan. The pain didn’t go away, I only postpone it and it became worst.

I remember I prayed to God for you and you came into my life. I cherished the love we had and nurture with lots of love that I can give. You told me, when the dusts are settled between us, I will understand that our love is not as deep as I imagined. Life will kick in, there’s no Prince and Cinderella no more, no more fairytale, there’s only harsh reality.

You’re logical and realistic like that, but I am a dreamer. For me, the dusts are never settled. There were no dusts, in the first place, only glitters.

I am kissing the ray of God who creates you. I used to try to bargain with Him in desperation. “Please God, I am a good person, he is a good person, we deserved love and happiness that we can give to each other. Please God, I AM SURE, he is the one.”

But broken were we. And I am trusting God better than my infatuation. I am trusting His timing, I am trusting His plan.

I surrender, I accept.

With ease, slowly, I found my core self.

Today I wrote a letter to God:

“Dear God, if Your plan for me is for the betterment of the whole, I accept Your decision. I am Your servant, Your creation. It is Your blessings that allow me to meet somebody that will bring me closer to You and who’s going to work with me to complete our mission on earth. Someone whose love reminded me of Your love to me. I love you, God. My mission is to live by the path You planned me to be, living the blueprint of my life to the fullest, and I’m going to walk on it with the most memorable dance, so everyone can see me having a good time with life.”

Months after you left, nothing changes in me. I’m still in love with you. The difference is, I am more aware of what I thought a perfect love. You and the relationship we had were no longer perfect. You’re a mirror, you’re a message, and I understand the message. I am back on my path, thanks to you. The heroine’s journey has moved again to the next stage, I am shifting, thanks to you. I found the Goddess in me, thanks to you. And I wouldn’t change anything from the story. I’m moving forward.

‘Let go’ has a new meaning every day in me, and I’m willing to be open to receive love, so this tragedy I called ‘process’ won’t crippled me, and I can learn to be better human.

Just so you know, in few months, I will be in your country, finally my focus and determination to connect with where you are and where I should be living, paid off, even when it’s few months too late and you’re no longer in the picture. I’m grateful.

Farewell, my soulmate. You’ve been the one. And you will always be remembered as one who taught me how to dis-cover: life.

5 Alasan Kamu Harus Nonton The Professionals

“Kamu harus nonton The Professionals!” Kata teman baik saya, wanita cantik lajang ibu kota. Tumben-tumbenan dia menyarankan saya menonton film action, padahal dia tahu persis saya nggak suka film yang ‘keras’. “Udah nonton aja!” Katanya lagi.

Dengan siap-siap serem melihat adegan berdarah-darah, saya pun menonton film-nya. Ternyata, yang saya takutkan dari film action (bak-buk-der-penuh-darah), nggak kejadian. Menurut saya The Professionals, produksi MNC Pictures ini, adalah film action yang cerdas dan ‘ramah’ untuk penonton wanita seperti saya. Ini kali kedua saya menonton karya Affandi Abdul Rachman, karyanya selalu menyegarkan industri film di Indonesia!

Karena teman saya tidak berhasil memberikan saya alasan yang memuaskan, kenapa saya harus menonton The Professionals, kali ini saya ingin menjabarkan alasan-alasannya.

Cuci mata sepanjang film

Ya! Bener sekali. Film ini penuh dengan pemain-pemain berwajah ganteng, berkarakter maskulin dan berbodi tegap kotak-kotak. Siap-siap meleleh dipandangi oleh Fachri Albar (Abi), terpukau sama senyum tengil Arifin Putra (Reza), pingsan ngeliat kejantanan Richard Kyle (Jo). Buat cowok, jangan sedih! Indera visual kalian akan dimanjakan oleh Melayu Nicole (Sophie) yang luar biasa cantik.

Nggak percaya? Cek dulu deh trailer-nya:

Belajar arti persahabatan (dan pengkhianatan)

“Temen nggak makan temen, kan?”

Tiga orang yang bersahabat, Abi, Reza dan Nicole (Imelda Therinne), bermitra dan membentuk sebuah perusahaan bernama PT. Trimitra. Meski bersahabat, ternyata uang bisa membutakan. Karena keserakahan itu lah, Reza mengorbankan Abi dan membuatnya dipenjara. Ini tak hanya menghancurkan karir Abi, merusak reputasinya, pengkhianatan Reza juga menghancurkan keutuhan rumah tangga Abi. Ada twist di akhir film yang akan memuaskan para pencinta surprise.

Paham bahwa integritas sangat penting dalam berbisnis

Selama film, ditunjukkan bagaimana Reza selalu berusaha memainkan trik-trik yang tidak jujur dalam berbisnis. Sebagai seorang pebisnis, menonton akting yang meyakinkan dari Arifin Putra membuat saya eneg sendiri membayangkan banyak pebisnis yang mungkin memiliki mentalitas yang sama dengan Reza. Ew!

Bukti nyata kolaborasi adalah kunci

Dorongan Abi untuk memberikan pelajaran pada Reza menjadi penggerak cerita dalam film ini. Abi ingin Reza bertanggung jawab pada korban-korbannya, dan cara terbaik adalah dengan mencuri dongle berisi data-data finansial Reza. Untuk mengambil dongle ini dari Reza, Abi membutuhkan tim ‘The Professionals’.

Abi mengumpulkan orang-orang terbaik di bidangnya masing-masing. Om Cokro (Lukman Sardi) yang piawai dengan mekanika, Ferry (Cornelio Sunny) yang jago hacking, Jo yang secara fisik akan mampu merobohkan lawan dan Sophie yang akan membawa mereka ke tempat yang aman setelah aksi dilakukan dengan gaya nyetirnya yang a la racer. Misi mereka dibalut oleh dendam dan amarah pada Reza yang telah menghancurkan hidup mereka dengan cara yang berbeda-beda.

Abi tak akan bisa menjalankan misi ini sendirian, namun bersama-sama, peluangnya untuk berhasil menjadi jauh lebih besar.

Kamu akan terhibur

Dinamika antara Ferry yang serampangan dan Om Cokro yang resik menjadikan film ini juga lucu dan menyegarkan. Saya pribadi banyak bersimpati pada Om Cokro, karena ngerasa sedikit mirip dia hahaha. Saya juga selalu harus makan dengan alat makan yang super bersih, dan mendengarkan Mozart setiap pagi, seperti saat menuliskan review ini!

Yuk, ah. Masih ada waktu buat nonton The Professionals bareng teman-teman kamu!

Follow akun twitter-nya @TheProMovie untuk melihat update-nya

Enjoy!

Elevate to be The Transcendent Being

Few months ago I was invited to speak at Women@ Conference event in Singapore by Facebook Asia Pacific. ​​I was invited, not to speak about business, not about writing, but about meditation and mindfulness. Clair, my good friend from Facebook, has known very well that I meditate and it contributes to my productivity in general, so she wanted me to share my experience to Facebook team.

Since I was invited by Facebook, I thought I need to prepare a formula on mindfulness so I can say something smart :))

After analyzing my own habit and what I’ve been doing all these years, this is what I came up with.

I called this The Transcendent Being method. If you want to transcend, this is what you should do.

First of all, be sure that as long as you’re on earth, life will cut us from many different directions. But it shouldn’t destroy us, it should make us perfectly beautiful like a diamond.

In order to be balanced and stay in the center, we need to practice:

Tadabbur – Seeking wisdom through knowledge. I read, not only books, but also people and situations around me and learn from it
Tashakkur – Gratitude – Be grateful every day and every second. I have a gratitude journal, online and offline, to help me record the happy moments I have every day
Tasabbur – Patience – Be patient. Commit to what you’re doing eventhough it seems difficult to endure, but look at the end result. When I feel tortured while writing 200 pages of books, I will be patient because I know the book will be useful for humanity
Tafakkur – Reflect – Observe, don’t judge or blame. I always record my reflection to my online journal, so it won’t interrupt my focus at the moment
Tazkiyah – Purification of heart – guard your heart from the negative, talk about good things, hang out with good people

When we’re balanced, this is what we need to move forward in our life:

Taqwa – Unconditional Trust – Knowing the consequences of doing the wrong thing and the consequences of doing the right thing, and still choose to do the right thing
Istighfar – Aware of Mistakes – When you know you do the wrong thing, aware of it and you acknowledge it, own it fully
Tawba – Repent – the commitment to not doing the same mistake again and avoiding bad patterns by learning from your mistakes, what did you do the last time that caused you to make that mistake? Simply don’t do it again

And do all of this with one intention in mind:

do the habit, conscious effort, repetitive acts and persistence to contribute to humanity

And this is how you become a transcendent being.

Setelah Lepas Jilbab, Now What?

Sudah 6 bulan lebih semenjak saya mengambil keputusan untuk melepas jilbab yang sudah saya kenakan sejak tahun 2001 (15 tahun lalu, saat jilbab belum se-mainstream saat ini).

Ternyata keputusan saya ini membuat banyak orang penasaran. Meskipun sudah saya jelaskan di postingan yang ini, mereka tetap googling ‘Ollie salsabeela lepas jilbab’ dan berusaha menebak apa yang terjadi hehe.

Saya menganggap keputusan yang saya ambil sudah dipikirkan panjang lebar selama lebih dari 2 tahun, bukan hasil reaksi karena tragedi besar dalam hidup, semua diputuskan dengan tenang. Maka, saya sangat terganggu jika ada pihak-pihak yang berusaha menentang keputusan saya dengan membawa-bawa nama orang tua hingga Almarhum Papa saya untuk membuat saya merasa bersalah. Jika saja mereka tahu, Almarhum Papa saya adalah salah satu orang tua paling suportif di dunia, dan beliau akan memahami proses hidup yang saya jalani.

Jadi, apa yang terjadi setelah saya melepas jilbab?

Beberapa orang yang tidak dekat dengan saya mulai menghakimi dan menggurui saya dengan cara yang tidak terhormat. Block.
Komentar di Instagram masuk dan bilang kalau saya lebih cantik saat berjilbab. Itu benar, karena pipi tembem saya jadi ketutupan setengah hehe
Mbak Yulia Astuti, pemilik Moz5 salon dan juga hijaber dengan tingkat ke-Muslim-an yang saya kagumi, mengirim doa dan harapannya untuk saya tanpa menghakimi. Saya sangat menghargai
Beberapa teman dekat yang hijaber, memutuskan untuk meng-ignore saya. Bisa saya mengerti betapa tidak nyamannya keputusan saya bagi mereka
90% teman-teman mendukung apa pun keputusan hidup saya, meskipun sebagian dari mereka merasa sedih
In the end, people become more and more relaxed because I didn’t change. Saya cuma tidak menggunakan tutup kepala. Sisanya, saya masih tetap saya. Tetap menggunakan pakaian yang rapi dan elegan, tetap berkarya, serta peduli dengan kemajuan Negeri.
Ada yang bertanya, apakah ini keputusan final saya (untuk melepas jilbab selamanya)? Saya jawab, selama saya masih hidup, hidup masih terus berproses, belum final
Ada yang bilang, saya lepas jilbab untuk mendapatkan pendamping hidup. Tebakannya kurang tepat karena selama 5 tahun setelah saya bercerai, saya mencoba membangun hubungan dengan pria keturunan Arab yang lebih senang saya memakai jilbab
6 bulan sejak saya melepas hijab, saya gunakan waktu luang untuk mempelajari Islam dan makna hijab lebih dalam. Memahami makna modesty yang sebenar-benarnya. Saya juga terus berdoa agar diberi petunjuk ke arah yang benar. Proses ini masih terus berjalan
Saya bertemu dan berbicara dengan orang-orang yang selama ini tidak berani atau malas berbicara dengan saya, karena terlanjur mengira saya ‘terlalu alim’ untuk membicarakan topik tertentu. Ini membantu mereka untuk lebih open mind dan buat saya, kenyataan ini refreshing. Saya bisa melihat dunia dari perspektif baru
Saya berusaha melihat Islam bukan dari apa yang dilakukan oleh penganut-penganutnya (yang bisa saja memiliki pemahaman yang corrupt), tapi nilai-nilai Islam yang sesungguhnya dari Quran dan Hadist

Seorang teman berkata, “Potong kupingku, kamu pasti akan pake hijab lagi.”

Jika teman-teman setuju, bisa ketik ‘aamiin’ di kolom komentar di bawah ini

How to Multiply Your Success

I learned about compound interest from stock market. I read Tony Robbins book ‘Money: Master the Game’ and find the term for the first time. Compound interest basically the power of multiplication when you constantly invest and reinvest with multiplied interest in specific period of time.

Here’s the formula:

FV – future value of investment
PV – present value of the investment
i – interest rate earned in each period
n – number of periods

FV = PV * (1 + i)n


With this formula, your original investment will grow rapidly. If you invest $500 per month for 11 years, with 20-35% return, you may get almost $1 million dollar by the end of year 11. Basically, you earn interest not only on the principal amount, but also on the interest earned in each compounding period.

If you keep and add the same money below your bed, you can only gain $66,000 or less (because of inflation). Witness how powerful our money can grow with compound interest.

Based on this principle, I make a conclusion that, whatever little we invest in life, if we invest in it regularly for n period of time, make a little effort to be better and create small victories each time, we will gain the momentum and our life will become larger than we imagine we could have.

Our Dream Life = The First Action * (Better Effort + Small Victories)Years of effort

This is exactly what’s happened in my life. I earned $250 per month as a programmer back in 2007. I invest $150 of my salary to buy domain name and hosting, chip in with other partners to start my first business, an online bookstore. Every single day after that, I make small but regular effort to grow and create small victories, 5 little wins daily. It may seemingly irrelevant and trivial efforts, but it contributes to my growth as a person.

I read a lot of book to improve myself, attend classes to add my skills, attend networking events and talk with successful people, I write blog and build my personal branding through social media, I create communities from StartupLokal, Girls in Tech Indonesia, Nulis Buku Club and many more. I basically do what I’m excited about, daily.

Most of my efforts sometimes don’t resulting in financial benefits immediately. Since 2007 ’til 2015 I have no salary at all. I must strive to have my own means while subsidizing the company with tens of employees, in order for the company to grow. Surviving my life and even building my assets with no regular income is a miracle of its own and I’m thankful to Allah for all the abundance and opportunities that He gave me. Eventually my first business is not working, I let it go with a realization that this is not a personal failure and my value as a person won’t get affected by a temporary situation.

But the impact of my effort to start something and stubbornly persistent in doing it, after 9 years, is huge. I am now one of the go to person in Indonesia’s startup Industry, found successful startups in content industry, have half a million people under my reading and writing network and change their life with my products, write 30 books in various genres from novel to biography, become an expert in writing, get paid to teach and speak about what I love, become a global speaker from SouthEast Asia to Morocco, Kazakhstan, UK, Bahrain, Russia, France and USA, become a role model for women and technology, mentioned by Sheryl Sandberg on International Women’s Day and the list goes on. I would never imagine this would happen seeing how small I start, but patience, persistence and continuous effort bring me this far.

If I could reflect few methods on doing this, here are few of them:

I have deep gratitude and trust to God. I practice it by writing gratitude journal, daily.
I think big. I choose to look at the bigger perspective, grand vision, plus many other possibilities and refused to be influenced by seemingly awful situation.
I distract myself from worrying about the future, by writing my dream or what ideal situation would be and watch a lot of standup comedy videos :)) I focused on things that I’m excited about.
I do the best that I can, right now. And keep doing it, tomorrow. Like I said, create small victories.
I learned to do things better than before, I read excessively (2 books and 50 articles per day) and watch videos to model the best mentor on my field.
I declutter my brain, by recognizing and writing anything that keep me from being present, it can be anger/resentment/disappointment, down to my notes.
I meditate and breath deeply.
I protect my energy. I don’t gossip or think bad about people or think bad about myself. I don’t hang out with negative people, I blocked them out of my social media
I believe all people have good intention according to their perception and level of understanding.
But some of them are assholes and might prefer to hurt you anyway. By all means, let them drown in the dark and light your own candle.

Have a great and productive day.

I’m Debt Free and It Feels Good

I believe God is good and kind to me, that’s why I don’t have savings. The first time my manager heard this from me, she laughed her ass off. Even the most popular financial planner in the country, Ligwina Hananto, gave up on me. I was that ignorant.

Only when I realize that no matter how much I earned, I still struggle to pay for things the next month that I know I must do something about my financial situation. The golden moment was when I was in Singapore, all credit cards were almost maxed out, I had no cash nor dollars in bank, and I had to buy a frikkin deodorant cost $15 and I had to think about it for a good 10 minutes before I walked in and pray that my credit card can get through the little shopping activity I did.

I used to be careful with money, by careful means, I save money to be able to afford what I want. On my trip to Europe 4 years ago, I save for a year to afford that trip. Bought golds to keep my hands off the cash, and it works. It was a beautiful and enjoyable debtless trip.

But things get dirty when I started buying things I can’t afford in the hope of to be able to pay it, SOMEDAY. I started paying my credit card on minimum payment, which such a big disaster. Credit Card interest is the meanest, and I got 3 credit cards. To make it worse, I keep postponing to pay them because I feel like my hard earned money shouldn’t be used to pay debts *WRONG* While I keep burning money paying for the interests, finally I get to my senses and decide that 2016 would be the year I pay it all off.

Along with the intention, come the support from God, Alhamdulillah. I keep getting unexpected income that I use directly to pay off my debts. Even the bank’s customer support try to stop me to pay things off, but sorry lady, I had enough. Finally, in the holy month of Ramadan, I have paid off all my debts, and I’m officially debt free and it feels so damn good.

Come to think of it, here’s how I do it:

Look at your debts in the eye.

Don’t deny that they’re there. Acknowledge how much are you in debt and seek to pay debts with highest interest first. I used to tossed the bill immediately without opening them because I was afraid of what I did. But, to change your situation, you must first FACE IT. One thing I did was putting the number on the wall with the high determination to pay it off. You get what you focus on!

Make more money.

There are only 2 motivation for human’s life, they can be motivated by pain or pleasure. If the bills pain you enough, hopefully you will be motivated to seek for more income to pay it off. Focus to pay your debts first before you make any other financial move.

Live within your means.

Try to know your monthly and daily budget. Write down the exact monthly needs and decide how much you can spend per day, per week, per month and respect that budget. Cut everything unnecessary and don’t buy things you can’t afford. Just be mindful about your money.

Have fun, in a financially smart ways.

You still can have a lot of fun. I still can go to holidays and buy what I want, just it takes time to research for better price and of course saving for it. Don’t buy anything full price, anything is negotiable. Be a smart shopper.

Hope the tips are helpful, and have a good weekend!

34 Life-Changing Lessons I’ve Learned in Life

As a human I evolved every second of my life. And I pray to God that I always evolve to be a better person, Inshaa Allah. I’ve been through the toughest parts of life like divorce, closing down my companies, losing my dad, but Alhamdulillah, it molded me into who I am today.

Here are the 34 lessons I’ve learned from living my life:

Change your look, change your life. I found out that I’m actually attractive. My body image issue was difficult to tackle. I always felt uglier than I actually am. It’s the results of many years of feeling like trash and not enough, resulted from old experiences that no longer serve me. I consciously try to find prove that I have worth as a woman, from people, friends, lover, and gradually I managed to convince myself. As I fix my self-confidence issue, I bloom, and many other aspects in my life flourished as well.
When shit happen, change your belief. When I broke up with someone because he’s cheating on me for example, I did not blame him for being an a**hole, instead I choose to believe that because I love him, I trust him 100%, including trusting his decision to mess around with somebody else. But, I don’t want to be part of that decision anymore. So, I let him go and find someone else who share the same values as me. Everbody’s happy.
Gewdammit what unlimited internet and unlimited access to read books can do! I never felt so free in my life to seek knowledge, as much as this year. Thank you Bolt Unlimited, Bookmate, Scribd, Storial!
Being authentic heals myself and others. I’ve been open about my life, including my personal life. It is of course a process, I can’t be as authentic and honest as Joel Buffer yet, I admire him for that, but at least I’ve been trying to be honest to myself. I hope everyone who reads my story find lessons from what I’ve been through.
Success is a habit. Your success muscles need exercise too. How many you see people who’s successful, would repeat his success in other areas in their life? Remember Elon Musk and his successful companies from PayPal, Tesla, SpaceX? He reads tons of books and make success a habit, starting from small victories building a company from his garage when he was a teenager, to billion dollars company like today.
Always give things to people before you’re asked and give it on time when needed by them. This is also something that needs practice. Compassion is the key. The ability to learn about people’s situation, find out what they need and GIVE without being asked. That is something I’m trying to do.
Meditation is not sitting silently trying to erase your mind, but focus on questions you have in your head and actively listening to answers and inspirations. I meditate every morning AND every time I need an answer. It is basically regulate your breath and calm your mind. You don’t need a cave to do that, after some time, you can do it while you sat down on your car stuck in traffic.

I have a chimp that is hungry inside my brain, ready to snap emotionally when he’s not fed. I must manage my chimp and give him bananas. I rarely snap, but when I do, it gets ugly. So I decided to be aware of the food of my chimp. If his patience meter is going red, I must immediately feed him with love and whatever else he needs. I can also distract him with something else, jokes or humor works like charm.
The only way to overcome fear is by doing massive actions. Writing a book is scary, you want it to be perfect because thousands of people will read it. But fear will get you nowhere. To overcome it, I just need to write. A lot. It works. I wrote 30 books since 2005 and wrote hundreds of articles.
You can accelerate serendipity. I believe when you’re in the flow state, it can get serendipitious. Like the right things will come and fall on your laps effortlessly. You can accelerate this by showing what you love and connects with like-minded people. Always be proud of yourself.
Big ideas are useful when it impacts people’s lives. Whenever I want to execute my ideas, I’d see how much it will impact people’s lives. In the society with lots of problems to solve, this seem to be the only option.
Appreciate what you love, make it a habit to be expressive. I’m big on being romantic and expressing yourself through words. I feel appreciated with words. It is nice to know someone love and care about you.
Know yourself, what’s your personality, attachment style and communication needs. Knowing all these things will lift a lot of headache and strained in your relationship. You understand yourself better and can handle yourself to interact with people. Do not expect people to understand you. You understand you. But let them know what you need too, so they will understand and know how to handle you with care. Just don’t expect anything from people.
Love means giving what they need. When people give you what you need, that means you’re loved. It’s the same thing, if you give people what they need, that means you love them. Even when this mean they need space, if you love them, you give it to them.
Art & creativity should transform and inspire change. I speak through my art, my writings, my poetry, my business, my life. When I die, this is my legacy for the humanity.
True love grows and bring out the best in you. Love means growth. Whether it’s painful grow or easy ones, you decide and experience it any way you want.
Cuts away everything’s that not you and you’ll be left with certainty of what you are. This is for people who doesn’t know what’s their passion is, try to quit anything that you’re NOT passionate about first. Then you’ll know what you’re passionate about.
Everything that happens in your life is a gift. If you treat it that way, you’ll spend the rest of your life excited to unwrap presents.
The things you know it’s true, you just do. If I ask you to throw the ball, you just do it. Because you know solidly that you can do it. So, why when I ask you to do what you love, you suddenly have lots of things to consider? You were born with love and full trust to life. What’s happen now?
Be conscious and aware of how you perceive yourself. Look at your text message, the way you speak to your friends. “I am tired, I’m dead, I’m so stressed, I’m busy, I’m an idiot.” Your brains record all that and they thought it was true. So, be aware of how you think of yourself. Caught yourself in the act and change your story.
Have a passion to be passionate. Every single one of people who just know me would think that I’m cold. It’s just my face. I’m flat like a kitchen table. But I’m working on it. I’m watching these bouncy people who look like they drank happy soda every hour. I’m working on it.
Guard your energy. Only use it to do productive things, it gets deflated, so use the very first batch carefully. Don’t spend your most productive time of the day to answer chats. Do your work first. Do not give your energy out to things and people that doesn’t worth your time, such as haters.
What are you world’s best at? What are the things that only you can do it best or at least better than anyone else? This is what I question to myself every day.
Spend more time with the best art. People in the past spend years to make an epic masterpiece, we only have patience for 2 minutes before getting distracted with another snap from a friend. If we can slow down and spend time with art, just surround ourselves with best art, we can get a lot of inspirations.
Fear comes as a reaction of something you believe is true. Let’s say I was afraid that my lover would cheat on me, this caused strained into the relationship because I was so possessive. That only happen because I believe that I’m so suck, that he will find somebody better. If I can love myself enough to believe that I’m an amazing person to be with, I will be more relaxed, and he will feel more comfortable in the relationship that he won’t need somebody else to give it to him.
You attract what you focus on. It’s Quantum Physics, it’s a law, it’s science. Matters exist when it is observed. The key of manifestation is knowing and paying attention to what you want.
Honor yourself. Celebrate your talents, victories, prosperity, personal growth and accomplishment.
We needs to focus on this 3 areas to be a better Muslim: worship, knowledge and service. You do the prayers, read Qur’an, Hadith, Islamic books and help people in need.
Prioritize like crazy. You can only think one thing at a time. Do the things that you hate but must be done first. Do the thing that occupy your mind first. Do the hardest thing that needs major focus first. Your day will be amazing after that.
Sacrifice your comfort zone. The real meaning of sacrifice is giving up lower vibration to receive higher. If you can let go sooner, you will get the better reward coming up next.
5 things that matter in life: growth, happiness, abundance, significance, meaning. Always invest in your personal growth. Last year I wrote Denny Santoso’s book, and from him I learned to invest in myself. Buy that books, go to that seminars, take that courses, even when it costs you money. That’s the best investment you can ever do.
Seek this every day: experience, growth, contribution. What can I experience today? How can I grow myself today? What contribution I can make to society today?
Write gratitude journal like your life depends on it. I usually write it every morning, now I write it every time I find something to be grateful for. And before I know it, now I suddenly have MORE things to be grateful for.
I am enough.

Fun fact: I wrote this post with 1653 words for two hours in traffic on the way to work.

Thanking Allah, The Supreme, The Love, The Light, The Guide, The Merciful, The Kind and Powerful, for my beautiful life. Alhamdulillah.

Hope you have a wonderful day.

What I’ve Learned from Ibn Battuta To Be a Global Citizen

“Say, [O Muhammad], ‘Travel through the land and observe how He began creation. Then Allah will produce the final creation…” Quran 29:20

I just finished watching Ibn Battuta documentary. He traveled for 29 years to 44 countries and experience so many different adventures along the way. From Egypt, Turkey, India, Maldives to China. He took time to visit the most prominent leaders of the city he visited, visited Mosques and find gurus, meditate and fasting in caves. He also do legal work as a Qadi (judge) for Sultans and was a very confident man. He knows how to deal with people, and he was only 21 when he started with one simple goal to perform Hajj in Mecca, which he eventually did after 1,5 years on the road and did at least 2 more Hajj during his lifetime.

The only easy thing when he traveled was because Islam rule most of those 44 countries he visited and he needs no Passport nor visa to enter the countries, no need to line up and answer private questions in public in order to get visas.

However, he had no planes either back in 1300s. He needs to ride horses, camels, donkeys, caravans and ships that can take months to get from one city to the other.  My recent trip to US that took me 40+ hours seem pale compared to Ibn Battuta travel duration.

One thing for sure, traveling that long, takes lots of courage and character in you. He used to had a bad homesick especially when he was sick on the road, that he needs to be tied down on his horse so he won’t fall. But he keep going and won’t let any of that interrupt his will to travel.

He came back to his hometown Tangier, Morocco, after 29 years. The Sultan of Morocco insists that he wrote a travel journal. Ibn Jawzi was assigned to transcribed his story to writing. The book was simply called ‘Rihla’ or The Journey of Ibn Battuta. This book translated into English in 1829. The way Ibn Battuta told his story is as it is, based on his observations. I’m amazed how he can remember every details of the cities he visited and his overall experience from almost 30 years ago. What matters, stay, indeed.

I always want to do what he did. Travel around the world and work globally. So, this is what I’ve learned from him.

He prepared his skills.
Before he took off, he make sure he got a skill and some sort of certification to be a Qadi. This will help him find works and fund him during his travel.
He connects from Sultan to Sultan, approach the important and influential people and work for them. 
On every cities that he visited, he make sure he’s in contact with the leader of the city. He knows well to network with influential people first. When he was in India, he bought charming gifts for the Sultan that the Sultan finally hired him.

He is emotionally intelligent. He knows how to touch people’s heart.

One of the example was when he was in debt in India and want Sultan to help him. Instead of directly asking the Sultan, he makes Sultan happy first, when he’s in a good mood, then he proceed with his request.

The reason of this debt was, the great expenses incurred in waiting on the Emperor, during his journies to repress the revolt of the Ain El Mulk. About this time, I composed a panegyric in praise of the Emperor, which I wrote in Arabic, and read to him. He translated it for himself, and was wonderfully pleased with it: for the Indians are fond of Arabic poetry, and are very desirous of (being memorialized in) it. I then informed him of the debt. I had incurred ; which he ordered to be discharged from his own treasury, and said: Take care, in future, not to exceed the extent of your income. May God reward him 

He shows what he love, he built his personal branding well.

When he was working in India, the Sultan sent him as ambassador to China, just because he knows that not only Ibn Battuta capable, but he also love to travel.

He said, It is my wish to send you as ambassador to the Emperor of China, for I know you love travelling in various countries. I consented ; and he sent dresses of honour, horses, money, with every thing necessary for the journey

He’s patient through his trials.

He went through a lot trials and hardships during his travel, that includes being robbed, and his ship with lots of gifts and slaves for Chinese Emperor sank because of the storm. But he never gives up. He always find his way back on track and continue his journey.

The cavalry, about forty in number, rushed upon me and took me prisoner, before I was well aware of their being there. I was much afraid they would shoot me with their arrows. I alighted from my horse, therefore, and gave myself up as their prisoner. They then stripped me of all I had, bound me, and took me with them for two days, intending to kill me. Of their language I was quite ignorant : but God delivered me from them ; for they left me, and I took my course I knew not whither. I was much afraid they would take it into their heads to kill me ; I therefore hid myself in a forest thickly interwoven with trees and thorns, so much so, that a person wishing to hide himself could not be discovered. Whenever I ventured upon the roads, I found they always led, either to one of the villages of the infidels, or to some ruined village. I was always, therefore, under the necessity of returning ; and thus I passed seven whole days, during which I experienced the greatest horrors. My food was the fruit and leaves of the mountain trees.

At the end of the seventh day, however, I got sight of a black man, who had with him a owalking-staff shod with iron, and a small water vessel. He saluted me, and I returned the salute. He then said, What is your name? I answered, Mohammed. I then asked him his name: he replied, El Kalb El Karīh (i. e. the wounded heart). He then gave me some pulse, which he had with him, and some water to drink. He asked me whether I would accompany him. I did so ; but I soon found myself unable to move, and I sunk on the earth. He then carried me on his shoulders ; and as he walked on with me, I fell asleep. I awoke, however, about the time of dawn, and found myself at the Emperor’s palace-gate. A courier had already brought the news of what had happened, and of my loss, to the Emperor, who now asked me of all the particulars, and these I told him. He then gave me ten thousand dinars, and furnished me for my return. 

He visited Indonesia! 
We then left this place, and in fifteen days arrived at the island of Java, the place from which the incense of Java receives its name. This is a green and blooming island. The greater part of its trees are, the cocoa, the fawfel, and the betel-nut, cloves, the Indian aloe, the pshakī, the baran-sakī (barkī?), grapes, the sweet orange, and the camphor reed. The inhabitants traffic with pieces of tin and gold, not melted, but in the ore (as coin). They have not many rich perfumes. More of these are to be found in the countries of the infidels (Hindoos perhaps). Nor are there many in the Mohammedan countries.
He noticed Javanese hospitality that still embeded in our culture until now. 
The King, on this occasion, called me to him, and I went. He then ordered a carpet to be spread for me to sit upon. I said to his interpreter, how can I sit upon a carpet, while the Sultan sits upon the ground? He answered: This is his custom, and he practises it for the sake of humility: but you are a guest; and, besides, you come from a great Prince. It is, therefore, right that you should be distinguished. I then sat, and he asked me about the King Jamāl Oddīn; to which I gave suitable replies. He then said: You are now my guest for three days; you may then return.

Whenever he visited a city, he became a part of it and not afraid to give suggestions and voice his concerns like when he was in Egypt. 
One day I entered the bath-house… and found men in it wearing no covering. This appeared a shocking thing to me, and I went to the governor and informed him of it. He told me not to leave and ordered the [owners] of the bath-houses to be brought before him. Articles were formally drawn up making them subject to penalties if any person should enter a bath without a waist-wrapper, and the governor behaved to them with the greatest severity, after which I took leave 

He visited Mosques like Dome of Rock in Jerusalem and became like a Mosque reviewer.

This is one of the most marvelous of buildings, of the most perfect in architecture and strangest in shape… it has a plentiful share of loveliness… and rare beauty… The greater part of this decoration is surfaced with gold, so that it glows like a mass of light and flashes with the gleam of lightning… In the center of the Dome is the blessed Rock …for the Prophet (God bless him and give him peace) ascended from it to heaven. It is a solid piece of rock, projecting about a man’s height, and underneath it there is a cave… with steps leading down to it…

The journey of Ibn Battuta and the places he visited still remain to this day and has inspired many people to follow his tracks.

You can watch Ibn Battuta amazing documentary from these videos

Ramadan Kareem! I wrote 17 tips to have a productive Ramadan, please read and let me know what you think!

Menikmati Musik Tanpa Batas di Spotify

Sebagai seorang penulis dan pembaca, saya paham pentingnya musik untuk produktivitas hari-hari saya. Namun masalahnya, karena agak kurang gaul di dunia permusikan, saya jadi ‘gagap’ dengan perkembangan chart musik dalam dan luar negeri. Saat ingin mendengarkan musik, jadi bingung sendiri, lagu apa yang harus saya dengarkan? Akhirnya jadi balik lagi, stuck ke koleksi lagu jaman saya masih kuliah dulu. Bosen banget! Sebenarnya saya punya teman yang hobi membuatkan playlist untuk saya, tapi kan saya tidak bisa terus-terusan mengharapkan bantuannya.

Saat layanan streaming musik Spotify (akhirnya) masuk ke Indonesia, saya segera merasakan manfaatnya. Spotify serius menggarap playlist untuk berbagai kebutuhan seperti saat bangun pagi, musik berdasar mood, hingga playlist yang bisa didengar saat terjebak macet. Konon koleksi lagu Spotify telah mencapai 30 juta lagu! Dengan begini, nggak cuma mendengarkan playlist milik Spotify, kita malah bisa terinspirasi untuk bikin playlist kita sendiri berdasarkan mood lagu yang kita sukai. Saya sedang mencoba untuk bikin playlist lagu-lagu yang bisa saya dengarkan saat membaca. Moodnya harus romantis, namun kalau bisa liriknya dalam bahasa yang tak saya kuasai. Kalau saya paham lagunya, bisa-bisa saya batal membaca dan malah sibuk nyanyi!

Layanan Spotify sendiri tersedia dalam dua pilihan yaitu Free dan Premium. Kalau ingin menikmati Spotify dengan bebas iklan, kita bisa membayar Rp 49.000 per bulan untuk mendaftar di akun Spotify Premium. Di Indonesia, Spotify Premium bisa dibayar melalui kartu kedit, Doku Wallet, transfer bank, ATM, jaringan waralaba Alfamart & Lawson serta provider telepon selular, dalam hal ini Indosat Ooredoo.

Tapi, timbul masalah baru saat ingin menikmati layanan streaming. Paket data internet saya jadi cepat habis! Untuk menjawab masalah ini, Spotify menjalin kerjasama dengan provider selular lokal Indosat Ooredoo. Pengguna paket prabayar IM3 Ooredoo Freedom Combo dapat menikmati layanan Spotify Premium dan stream lagu sepuasnya tanpa menghabiskan kuota internet. No wonder they call it #FreedomMusic

Cara berlangganan Paket IM3 Freedom Combo pun terbilang mudah, cukup dengan menekan *123*2# kita akan menerima SMS Notifikasi Berlangganan Paket Freedom Combo. Klik link Spotify pada SMS notifikasi berlangganan paket Freedom Combo & kita akan diarahkan ke halaman Freedom Spotify. Di halaman Freedom Spotify kita akan bisa mendapatkan diskon untuk berlangganan Spotify Premium bulanan sesuai dengan paket Freedom Combo yang kita pilih.

Yuk cobain! Share playlist kamu via social media juga ya dan jangan lupa mention @salsabeela! Enjoy the songs heaven!

3 Biggest Lessons I’ve Learned from 2015 to Apply on 2016

Many many years ago, I attended a business conference where the speaker who just got his company to IPO, stand in the front of audience to speak about his success. And that time, he said something about ‘compassion’ that related to his success and that’s it. No more slides on the business strategy, detailed how-to, pitching tips to VCs, nothing. We went to coffee break, puzzled.

I only understand that situation this year when I was invited by Sandra Correia to speak at an entrepreneurial event “A New Beginning for Portugal” (ANBFP) in Lisbon, Portugal. I did not asked to speak or mentor Portuguese entrepreneurs on how to fill out Business Model Canvas, instead, I was asked to mentor them on how to connect with their innerself! I know, right. This is something radical for me. Business event was usually a business event. But at ANBFP, there’s no such thing as ‘only business’ or ‘only personal’. We are our business. If we want to succeed, we have to take care ourselves first.

The workshop was divided into 3 categories: Body, Mind and Soul. Where participants were asked to meditate, listen to their intuition, to decide what’s their dream, visualize success and making a step to make it come true. This is how success in business look like, holistically.

For 2016, ohmygoshitsnewyearagain, I’d love to start to balance my body, mind and soul by doing these activities:

Body

Eat cleaner, healthier with smaller portion
Eat mindfully
Drinks more mineral water
Walk and move more
Dance more

Mind

Learn and teach 1 new thing every day
Do every day all that can be done that day and be effective in every action
Achieve bigger dreams by stepping up my game, go to the next level, rise and collaborate with winners
Priority: to create something that will make the world a better place

Soul

Having a quiet meditation in the morning and active meditation during the day
Always breath deeply
Remember that energy flows to the path with least resistance (science!), so never force anything, let it flow!
Be wiser and have response-ability, the ability to response to situation
Pursue art
Write my way to feel and manifest in my gratitude journal
Travel to UK & Europe to learn creative writing

If you ask me, 2015 has been incredibly beautiful for me.

I met my dream team and starting startups in content industry that I will announce in 2016. Storial.co is also kicking off greatly with their own management team, CEO Steve Wirawan and a female CTO, Sofia. Read more coverage from Tech in Asia.

I left my comfort zone and start writing biographies of fellow entrepreneurs, one of them is Denny Santoso. From him, I learned a lot about starting and growing a successful business and how NLP has helped him lead his positive life.

I fell in love deeply and fell out of that relationship. Not a pleasant experience, but as Marcus Aurelius said:

‘It is my bad luck that this has happened to me.’ No, you should rather say: ‘It is my good luck that, although this has happened to me, I can bear it without pain, neither crushed by the present nor fearful of the future.’

I travel to several cities in Europe after Frankfurt Book Fair with my bestfriend Emie; something beyond my wildest imagination

I’ve been a stoic for many years, but I only realized it when I read Marcus Aurelius’ book Meditations that I found in Rome. That book is a journal Marcus Aurelius, the Roman Emperor wrote to himself every day. To summarized Stoicism: give no judgement to situation, nothing can hurt you if you expect everthing.

A stone thrown in the air: nothing bad for it on the way down or good for it on the way up

I read hundreds of books and learned so much every day, you can check them here.

In May 2015, my dad left and move to another dimension. He’s been an incredible parent to us, giving us the foundation of life, showing us example, giving us support we needed and leaving us love at the comfort of our own house. I still miss him every day but I know he’s always around.

Of course, this year also marked a new beginning for me as a person, I’m hoping to keep meeting people with the same frequency and doing exciting things together. By the way, an invitation coming for me to speak about Indonesian startup ecosystem in New York for March 2016, and I’m beyond excited to come!

Every year is a best year for me and I can’t wait to welcome 2016. Now your turn: what’s the most important lessons you’ve learned in 2015?