Liam Perrin's Blog, page 9
March 27, 2017
The Curiously Stunted, Incomprehensibly Disjointed, Perfectly Inadequate Adventures of Nicholas Cornelius Holloway – Episode 25
The computer began dinging incessantly. She lifted her head from the keyboard and frowned.
The screen, like her mind, was filled with y’s.
March 23, 2017
The Curiously Stunted, Incomprehensibly Disjointed, Perfectly Inadequate Adventures of Nicholas Cornelius Holloway – Episode 24
She turned the book over and read the blurb, “A universe where things are less as they are and more like people imagine them to be.” She sighed. “It sounds wonderful!”
The words were out before he could stop them: “As long as you don’t think about it too much,” he said.
Her eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?”
“Well…” He cleared his throat. “It’s just that, you know, people- some people have a way of imagining things that aren’t altogether wonderful. Don’t they?”
He laughed experimentally. He s...
March 20, 2017
The Curiously Stunted, Incomprehensibly Disjointed, Perfectly Inadequate Adventures of Nicholas Cornelius Holloway – Episode 23
“I know where we can get one,” he said. “But we’ll have to break in.”
“Is it a lab?” She twirled a lock-pick casually and counted the tiles above her bunk. “Those are easy.”
He shook his head.
“A museum?”
“Nuh-uh.”
She palmed the pick and sat up. “Where we goin’ then?”
“The Desertron,” he said.
“The super collider? I thought they scrapped that.”
He nodded. “They did. It’s a prison now.”
“Who do we need in a prison?”
“Not who,” he said. “What. It’s where they keep the things that break the law...
March 16, 2017
The Curiously Stunted, Incomprehensibly Disjointed, Perfectly Inadequate Adventures of Nicholas Cornelius Holloway – Episode 22
The Old One sang, and the bundle exploded.
The Old One sang, and time unfurled like a carpet.
The Old One sang, and stars raced on cosmic highways.
Oceans coalesced. Plants sprouted. Animals sprang from wooded vales.
The Old One sang, and a man appeared, walking on the time carpet.
“What a peculiar accident of circumstance that all of this should be,” he said.
The Old One sang, and the man kept walking, whistling a tune he couldn’t quite place.
March 13, 2017
The Curiously Stunted, Incomprehensibly Disjointed, Perfectly Inadequate Adventures of Nicholas Cornelius Holloway – Episode 21
They arrived in their great, gleaming ships. The scientists, priests, and heads of state assembled to greet them. Their message was translated and rushed to the under-secretary who delivered it to the president.
Scanning the communiqué the president said, “They say the bill is overdue. They say they’ve tried to reach us, and now they’re ‘shutting it off.'”
“Shutting what off?” said the under-secretary.
The president quickly hooked one elbow around the railing and, still holding the communiqué...
March 9, 2017
The Curiously Stunted, Incomprehensibly Disjointed, Perfectly Inadequate Adventures of Nicholas Cornelius Holloway – Episode 20
“To a computer, a program is just one very big number,” she said. “So you can spend a lot of time designing and coding and testing and debugging. Or-”
He interjected, eager to make an impression, “Or you can just try out numbers and see what they do.”
“That’s right!” she said. “You’ll find word processors, web browsers, spreadsheets… Here’s your desk. Press the space bar to begin.”
He sat. He cracked his knuckles. He hit the space bar. He watched the dud-counter climb as the computer churned...
March 6, 2017
The Curiously Stunted, Incomprehensibly Disjointed, Perfectly Inadequate Adventures of Nicholas Cornelius Holloway – Episode 19
By the time they had verified both miracles, filed the proper paperwork, declared him to have lived a heroically virtuous life, and subsequently canonized him as Saint, the pickings were slim regarding patronages.
“How about ‘Patron Saint of Bakers?'”
“Taken,” said the clerk.
“Bar tenders?”
The clerk shook his head.
“Bee keepers?”
The clerk sighed. “I have an idea.” He scribbled a note. “Take this to Abbot Anthony down the hall.”
And that, as it turns out, is how Bob ended up holding the shov...
March 2, 2017
The Curiously Stunted, Incomprehensibly Disjointed, Perfectly Inadequate Adventures of Nicholas Cornelius Holloway – Episode 18
She reached out with a finger and poked at him. His whole body wobbled, and his features momentarily lost cohesion – like a pebble dropped in a pond. But he continued otherwise unperturbed around the room mumbling to himself and manipulating instruments.
“I don’t understand,” she said. “How can he be here and … not here?”
The Old One shrugged, watching him. “Isn’t it the stranger thing for a man to be where he is?”
February 27, 2017
The Curiously Stunted, Incomprehensibly Disjointed, Perfectly Inadequate Adventures of Nicholas Cornelius Holloway – Episode 17
He threw the long end of his scarf over his shoulder, removed one leather glove, and with his bare hand turned the dial to one. The machine rattled. There was a pop and a hiss from a valve above. Behind a door smaller than his folded handkerchief a muffled whirring sound strained then clicked.
He frowned.
Presently a latch snapped open on its spring, and the door – hinged at the bottom – fell open from the top. Thin chains connecting the door to the machine trembled briefly as they snapped ta...
February 25, 2017
What’s in a Story?
79 named characters
34 map-worthy locations
10 magical and non-magical artefacts
7 sports, games, and/or pastimes
6 guilds, organizations, or chivalric orders
2 non-human races
1 unfulfilled prophecies
1 incorrect use of “who’s”
1 plot conundrum (woops, hmm…)
Those are my final stats for Sir Thomas. I spent February building an encyclopedia of sorts — in the professional parlance: a series bible — to make it easier to reference details as I look ahead to writing the Less Valued Sequels. In ad...
