M.R. Pritchard's Blog, page 39
March 11, 2013
The secret formula for a bestseller
I've been reading a lot lately, even more than usual
and
I'm beginning to notice a trend in some of these BestsellersAnd I think I see that some authors have found a new formula for creating Bestsellers.
(drum roll please) Unicorns
Yes, unicorns.
Now you may have read some Bestsellers lately and thought to yourself:
I never saw a unicorn in there.
Let's review, the meat of these books:
Hunkybroodingbadboymanchild + Shakespearean dialog + super in touch with emotions = Protagonist's love interest *BANG*
Bestseller!
That my friends is a fucking unicorn
And here's a newsflash: these young men don't exist
anywhere
not even in the mountains of North Korea. (go to that link and read, it will enrich your life)
Don't get me wrong. When I completed these books my initial reaction was that I really liked them. I even re-read some parts. It's when I sat back for a few days/weeks and thought about them and what makes them so successful, that I figured this out.
It's a good thing they are labeled as fiction, because if they were memoirs I'd sure be crying bullshit.
Now, I have to retreat to my usual science fiction.
Reading these chick-flick novels is turning my insides all soft and gooshey.
March 10, 2013
New blog posts
Now that I've cooled my jets. I've gone back to a few funny/hopefully funny posts. Since Goodreads doesn't seem to u[date the feed as the posts are made public follow this link to see the latest and greatest.
http://secretlifeofatownie.blogspot.c...
http://secretlifeofatownie.blogspot.c...
Looking for Inspiration? Try T-rex!
As an author... Yes, I have taken it upon myself to call myself an author... I published my debut novel after all!
As an author, I look for inspiration everywhere. In the places I go and the mundane tasks I complete. I observe and examine like a total creeper. I answer questions awkwardly to see people's reactions... (actually, I'm just awkward)
I look at pictures and read and watch movies.
All these tasks help me find inspiration in my writing to develop new stories and characters.
Are you searching for inspiration?
I've found some.
Tyrannosaurus Rex
And now you ask: "Why choose T-Rex?"
T-Rex was one of the fiercest predators of the late cretaceous period
So why would he make a great protagonist or villain?
Let's look at the deeper side of T-Rex:
T-Rex has trouble showing emotions...
T-Rex has wishes, hopes, and dreams that many don't know about...
T-Rex has trouble with simple day-to-day tasks...
T-Rex has trouble with self-image....
T-Rex struggled in High School...
T-Rex gets judged for shit he has no control over...
T-Rex is kinda like the black-sheep of the family...
T-Rex likes to tell jokes... and sometimes they're not that funny... and no-one laughs...
T-Rex has one hell of a digestive system...
Even with all of the factors inhibiting T-Rex he's found a way to succeed:
And this, my friends, is why T-Rex may just be your perfect protagonist.
March 8, 2013
My First Negative Review
So I knew it would happen, and actually I was expecting it.
A negative review.
And so I took a deep breath when I read the comments on a 2-star review.
The moments that were followed included:
Feeling like a punch to the gut
and then
My blood boiled, a rapid boil.
And this is where I wish Amazon allowed authors to respond.
And now you say "take it easy" or "don't take it so hard" or "not each book is everyone's cup-of-tea"
and I would agree, except for a few reason's this reviewer pointed out.
And here they are with my most rational responses:
"The whole story is told in first person narration. I find this to be off-putting and was unable to slip inside the world of the story to mentally see the events unfold." - my response: are you kidding me?
"Poorly written" - my response: English must not be your first language.
"The main character is shallow, weak willed, morally questionable and frankly I disliked her so much that I kinda hoped she would die at the end." -my response: let us speak of morals...
Ok, Ok, I will retract these responses because they were obviously written in a moment of heated anger, and yes, everyone is entitled to their opinion...
"As a science fiction novella this does not work." - my response: Let me point out a fact for you: This novel is over 90,000 words, therefore it is not a novella.
ClassificationWord count Novel over 40,000 words Novella 17,500 to 40,000 words Novelette 7,500 to 17,500 words Short story under 7,500 words
"this could easily be turned into an erotic novella which might be worth reading."- my response: this is the most absurd line in the entire review, there are three kisses exchanged in the entire novel.
So, I would like to put it out there, Dear Readers, if your favorite past times include crocheting and petting your cats in front of a roaring north-western fire, don't buy the book and don't write a half-assed review.
A negative review.
And so I took a deep breath when I read the comments on a 2-star review.
The moments that were followed included:
Feeling like a punch to the gut
and then
My blood boiled, a rapid boil.
And this is where I wish Amazon allowed authors to respond.
And now you say "take it easy" or "don't take it so hard" or "not each book is everyone's cup-of-tea"
and I would agree, except for a few reason's this reviewer pointed out.
And here they are with my most rational responses:
"The whole story is told in first person narration. I find this to be off-putting and was unable to slip inside the world of the story to mentally see the events unfold." - my response: are you kidding me?
"Poorly written" - my response: English must not be your first language.
"The main character is shallow, weak willed, morally questionable and frankly I disliked her so much that I kinda hoped she would die at the end." -my response: let us speak of morals...
Ok, Ok, I will retract these responses because they were obviously written in a moment of heated anger, and yes, everyone is entitled to their opinion...
"As a science fiction novella this does not work." - my response: Let me point out a fact for you: This novel is over 90,000 words, therefore it is not a novella.
ClassificationWord count Novel over 40,000 words Novella 17,500 to 40,000 words Novelette 7,500 to 17,500 words Short story under 7,500 words
"this could easily be turned into an erotic novella which might be worth reading."- my response: this is the most absurd line in the entire review, there are three kisses exchanged in the entire novel.
So, I would like to put it out there, Dear Readers, if your favorite past times include crocheting and petting your cats in front of a roaring north-western fire, don't buy the book and don't write a half-assed review.
My first negative review
So I knew it would happen, and actually I was expecting it.
A negative review.
And so I took a deep breath when I read the comments on a 2-star review.
The moments that were followed included:
Feeling like a punch to the gut
and then
My blood boiled, a rapid boil.
And this is where I wish Amazon allowed authors to respond.
And now you say "take it easy" or "don't take it so hard" or "not each book is everyone's cup-of-tea"
and I would agree, except for a few reason's this reviewer pointed out.
And here they are with my most rational responses:
"The whole story is told in first person narration. I find this to be off-putting and was unable to slip inside the world of the story to mentally see the events unfold." - my response: are you kidding me?
"Poorly written" - my response: English must not be your first language.
"The main character is shallow, weak willed, morally questionable and frankly I disliked her so much that I kinda hoped she would die at the end." -my response: let us speak of morals...
"As a science fiction novella this does not work." - my response: Let me point out a fact for you: This novel is over 90,000 words, therefore it is not a novella.
ClassificationWord count Novel over 40,000 words Novella 17,500 to 40,000 words Novelette 7,500 to 17,500 words Short story under 7,500 words
"this could easily be turned into an erotic novella which might be worth reading."- my response: this is the most absurd line in the entire review, there are three kisses exchanged in the entire novel.
So, I would like to put it out there, Dear Readers, if your favorite past times include crocheting and petting your cats in front of a roaring north-western fire, don't buy the book and don't write a half-assed review.
A negative review.
And so I took a deep breath when I read the comments on a 2-star review.
The moments that were followed included:
Feeling like a punch to the gut
and then
My blood boiled, a rapid boil.
And this is where I wish Amazon allowed authors to respond.
And now you say "take it easy" or "don't take it so hard" or "not each book is everyone's cup-of-tea"
and I would agree, except for a few reason's this reviewer pointed out.
And here they are with my most rational responses:
"The whole story is told in first person narration. I find this to be off-putting and was unable to slip inside the world of the story to mentally see the events unfold." - my response: are you kidding me?
"Poorly written" - my response: English must not be your first language.
"The main character is shallow, weak willed, morally questionable and frankly I disliked her so much that I kinda hoped she would die at the end." -my response: let us speak of morals...
"As a science fiction novella this does not work." - my response: Let me point out a fact for you: This novel is over 90,000 words, therefore it is not a novella.
ClassificationWord count Novel over 40,000 words Novella 17,500 to 40,000 words Novelette 7,500 to 17,500 words Short story under 7,500 words
"this could easily be turned into an erotic novella which might be worth reading."- my response: this is the most absurd line in the entire review, there are three kisses exchanged in the entire novel.
So, I would like to put it out there, Dear Readers, if your favorite past times include crocheting and petting your cats in front of a roaring north-western fire, don't buy the book and don't write a half-assed review.
The Phoenix Project eBook release
In case you missed it:
The Phoenix Project hit #3 on the Amazon Kindle Bestsellers list for 3 consecutive days!!
Didn't get the eBook during the promo?
It's currently $3.99 in the Kindle store
Paperback release 3/18/13*More Deals to come*
Reviews are rolling in and they are great!
What career would you choose during the Zombie Apocalypse?
[image error]
The one good thing about the Zombie Apocalypse
No Bills!
I'm actually hoping it starts soon so I can get out from under my mountain of student loan debt.
So
When the money is gone and we get to start over
What will your new career be?
Team leader
Killing partner
TrackerSquirrel soup maker/Chef
Lawnmower
Babysitter
RedneckCrappy Mom
[image error]
March 5, 2013
Looking for Inspiration? Try Canada!
Canada
North American country located in the northern part of the continent. Canada is the world's second-largest country by total area, and its common border with the United States is the world's longest land border.
*Who says size doesn't matter?*
Some fun facts:
1. The Narcisse Snake Dens in Manitoba have more snakes in a concentrated area than anywhere else in the world. Tens of thousands of red-sided garter snakes gather there every year. On the other hand, there are no snakes on the island of Newfoundland.
*Shudder, shudder*
2. If you visit Dawson City, Yukon, you can join the “Sourtoe Cocktail Club” — all you have to do is finish a drink (of anything!) with a real human toe in the bottom. The club’s motto says, “You can drink it fast, you can drink it slow — but the lips have gotta touch the toe.”
*Okay, I actually really like Canada, we used to visit each year, but the toe, the toe has got to go...*
3. Canada has its own mysterious lake creature, Ogopogo, who reportedly lives in Lake Okanagan, British Columbia. *A great creature for any book!*
The number one reason to get your inspiration from Canada...
Snow! Glorious snow!!
March 2, 2013
What is The Phoenix Project really about?
When people ask me what The Phoenix Project is about
I have a hard time responding.
Why?
Because this image flashes in my head:
Every single time.
Free Promo
starting Sunday!!
3/3-3/7
Get your copy here
The Phoenix ProjectM. R. Pritchard
The United States is crumbling under the weight of the worst recession in decades, and The Reformation has been causing a stir. It started with promises of overthrowing the election, under the premise of change. But change starts where we least expect it, in Phoenix, a small lakefront town, hidden in the backwoods of Upstate NY.
Andie's life is about to change forever. She thought making it home was the hard part, but much worse is to come. She needs to find her family, she needs to find out what's happening to her town, and she needs to find someone she can trust.
I have a hard time responding.
Why?
Because this image flashes in my head:
Every single time.
Free Promo
starting Sunday!!
3/3-3/7
Get your copy here
The Phoenix ProjectM. R. Pritchard
The United States is crumbling under the weight of the worst recession in decades, and The Reformation has been causing a stir. It started with promises of overthrowing the election, under the premise of change. But change starts where we least expect it, in Phoenix, a small lakefront town, hidden in the backwoods of Upstate NY.
Andie's life is about to change forever. She thought making it home was the hard part, but much worse is to come. She needs to find her family, she needs to find out what's happening to her town, and she needs to find someone she can trust.
March 1, 2013
Chuck Norris vs Zombies
Zombie Friday
Welcome back!Yes, I know, you're like: "WTF, I waited all week last week for Zombie Friday and nothing was posted!"
Sorry dudes.I was busy.Making my Zombie Survival Kit!I bought knives and axes and water and canned food and nails and boards and a backpack and...
Well, let's get on with it.
Theme of the week:
Chuck F-ing Norris vs. The Zombie Apocalypse
Hell Yes!
(No, I'm not giving up on Daryl)
But seriously, I'm thinking Chuck will be one of the best additions to anyone's Zombie Apocalypse team!
Some excellent reasons why you should consider Chucky-boy for your team:
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move. Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded. Chuck can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
And the number one reason for choosing Chuck(yeah, right there)
The only man with balls large enough to wear a sleeveless-Canadian Tuxedo.
Welcome back!Yes, I know, you're like: "WTF, I waited all week last week for Zombie Friday and nothing was posted!"
Sorry dudes.I was busy.Making my Zombie Survival Kit!I bought knives and axes and water and canned food and nails and boards and a backpack and...
Well, let's get on with it.
Theme of the week:
Chuck F-ing Norris vs. The Zombie Apocalypse
Hell Yes!
(No, I'm not giving up on Daryl)
But seriously, I'm thinking Chuck will be one of the best additions to anyone's Zombie Apocalypse team!
Some excellent reasons why you should consider Chucky-boy for your team:
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move. Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded. Chuck can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom. And the number one reason for choosing Chuck(yeah, right there)
The only man with balls large enough to wear a sleeveless-Canadian Tuxedo.
![[image error]](http://cdn.indulgy.com/sD/e9/3o/701577066652304248PEaDRhmc.jpg){kind=link}
