Evan Sanders's Blog, page 68

You’ve Been Delivered A Gift, Open It

It happens every so often
He loses himself
He hooks up on a beast
And for whatever reason
The line snaps
Leaving him with having to set up again
Repair his gear
Sharpen the hook
And throw it all back in

What seems like moments
In the face of it all
He can lose his center
His direction
And his confidence
But just for a moment
Because at his core
He needs no affirmation
No false praise
And does not build himself on compliments
Or let’s himself be destroyed by insults
Despite his moments of weakness
Of vulnerability
He always returns back to the mountain within
With a fire to head back out the next morning
To put his oars in the water and try again.

His love affair is in the “knowing” of the looming strike
As he heads back out
Day after day after day
The time he spends is endless
With his line in the water
Sometimes bringing nothing back
And yet every single day
He is out there
Patiently waiting
Line in 
For that first strike
Focused 
Unwaveringly confident
Powerfully patient
A man in his boat
In the midst of the vast ocean
With the power to change the tides 

It really hasn’t even been a week, but I have to say, it’s been one of the most transformational, exciting, amazing, heart-breaking, and all around special weeks of my life. How can all of those things possibly exist in one? Well, let me explain.

Throughout the course of my life, there have been a few fundamental moments that have defined the direction I have taken with my life. They were all part of the path, but they each had  their own unique mark on how things would begin to pan out for me. I would say that losing baseball was one of those moments, losing myself a year later would be another, and then starting The Better Man Project would be the 3 primary moments in my life that had significant impact on me.

Walking through the doors of my Integral Coaching school one month ago, I already know, is one of those moments. In the most positive way possible, I have been stretched, turned inside out, and the seeds of change were planted in my body, heart, and soul. Coming out of my first session of school, I already knew that things were shifting inside of me. The things that they had examined in me during my first week were pretty interest – feeling like I was holding things back, not rooted, without a home, wanting to learn how to be vulnerable, and many other pretty significant topics that would challenge me to my core. In all honesty, I felt like I had my tree shaken a bit and all of this made me really wonder where I stood with my purpose in the world, drove some insecurities out, and naturally I lost a bit of my edge and confidence because there were so many moving parts going on at once. I wouldn’t say that I was struggling, but I would say that I was a bit lost in knowing exactly where I was and what I wanted to set out to do.

Naturally, this had some consequences. I lost a bit of my footing, my foundation became a little more fluid (for good reason actually and I will get into why) and all different types of energy flowed from me – masculine and feminine. Things swirled. I’m glad they did.

Over these past few days, something snapped in me. Not in a bad way – trust me, I’ve had that feeling before. But in a good way. Here’s what I had to say about it today.

With another match
The test came
Haystacks engulfed in flames
Like a distant memory
The ashes of old
Choking the air

But this time
It was different
The flames came from within
And off started to fall
The shingles of his fears
Like tiles being stripped from a roof

Incited 
Broken wide open
The demons came out to play
And yet there danced deep joy…
Finally realizing, the cracks his heart displayed
Were places the light could shine through

As he connected to the mat
Death came to him
His final excuse
And amidst the chaos
There was humor
A bit of a grin… “I will take you”
‘I know’…“And you grin?”
‘Yes’
“Why so?”
‘I now know what to die for’

Powerful, true, and vulnerable
A naked warrior’s bleeding heart
Taught by many Oracles
To love through chaos
Darkness and light
To court his death
With desire and a smile 
They were lessons he never knew
But they were within him
Seeping out at times
Muddied by loneliness and doubt
But always present
Always ready

And out they roared 
The Two Wolves howled
Finding their place 
Nourished him
Home at last
Home at last

My greatest challenge this year, the question that I am supposed to consider all year, is “what if heartbreak was my greatest healer.” When they asked me that question in front of the class and asked if I would consider it for my yearlong study, something inside me quivered. Pain. Loss. Loneliness. They all shook within me. That was the biggest challenge, and the hardest question they could have possibly asked me to undertake…but I’m glad they did.

This year, I’ve surrendered fully to my purpose, and to giving this world every gift I have.

I wrote that poem above because this past week has been one of the more interesting weeks, as I have already been challenged with my yearlong question…and all sorts of experiences came out to play that I have never really appreciated or gone through at all. In all honesty, my practice of meditating for the first couple of weeks suffered on and off because of doubt that it was for me, but this week I have fully thrown myself into the practice, and out came everything. Out came my true feelings, my true wisdom, my true pain, my true anguish, the demons at work, the happiness, the joy…everything, in full. Nothing was held back. One minute I would be crying my eyes out on the meditation mat and the next minute I would be at peace. This is meditation at it’s finest. Connecting with the true core of yourself and holding nothing back, just being with it.

This, is something…I’ve never been good at.

When I felt anxiety, I tried to fix it. When I had a bad experience, I would run from it or try to cover it up with a good experience. But as soon as I just sat there…and let everything flow through me, I felt things I haven’t felt in years come back, evoke all sorts of emotions in me, and then exit out through my breath.

Our greatest fears, our fear of death, our fear of lost lost, any fear you can possibly imagine, will attack you from within…but all you have to do is be able to see it for what it is and let it out.

There’s been tremendous growth, connection, beauty, and happiness despite times of chaos. This week has been one of the most wonderful weeks of my life. This week opened me…cracked me wide open, and allowed me to dig into teachings, lessons, experiences, openness, and truly finding my passion – helping others build their best lives. That’s why I am going to do my coaching. That’s why I am on a mission to build this amazing network and framework for my own personal brand. That’s why I am determined, passionate, and energized about creating what I am setting out to create…because I want to help people get to a place of opportunity that I have. I feel so lucky. Yeah there are obstacles and challenges, but they are not nuisances.

I have finally begun to train myself as a warrior.

- Evan Sanders

You’ve Been Delivered A Gift, Open It is a post from: Inspirational Stories About Life

Nothing Gold Can Stay Poem | Keep It #100 | Episode 7

Nothing Gold Can Stay Poem | Keep It #100 | Episode 7 

“Nothing Gold Can Stay” by Robert Frost is one of my favorite poems because it reminds me that the permanence of things in this world is ever-changing. As the sun goes up it must come down. That doesn’t mean that we can’t appreciate the beauty of what is occurring around us…but we must understand that everything is incredibly cyclical and therefore subject to great shifts.

http://thebettermanprojects.com/blog

Live bold. Dream Big. Dare greatly.

“It is a truly life-changing, paradigm shifting and life transforming book.” Download my new book “Two Wolves” for free! http://btrman.me/1C99ZHw

Join the movement of men and women looking to inspire and change the world – http://btrman.me/M5mxt5

Nothing Gold Can Stay Poem | Keep It #100 | Episode 7 is a post from: Inspirational Stories About Life

Negative Emotions & Motivation | Keep It #100 | Episode 6

Negative Emotions & Motivation | Keep It #100 | Episode 6 

Negative emotions can be an incredibly strong force when trying to motivate yourself. I myself have used the things that people have said about me, the things that have happened to me, etc as fuel many times. I call it “burning it black.” When you see black smoke in the sky around me, you know that I am digging into often a painful place and using that to inspire myself to move forward in a positive direction. And that’s what it is really about – using the painful times and converting them to positive outcomes.

http://thebettermanprojects.com/blog

Live bold. Dream Big. Dare greatly.

“It is a truly life-changing, paradigm shifting and life transforming book.” Download my new book “Two Wolves” for free! http://btrman.me/1C99ZHw

Join the movement of men and women looking to inspire and change the world – http://btrman.me/M5mxt5

 

Negative Emotions & Motivation | Keep It #100 | Episode 6 is a post from: Inspirational Stories About Life

Reveal Yourself

“Reveal everything there is to know about yourself, and let the chips fall where they may.” – William Parish, Meet Joe Black

Reveal yourself to me I heard a whisper. Reveal yourself. You know that deep down all the strength in the world will arrive when you finally have the courage to reveal yourself. So let it go. Let it fly. But keep a close watch on me. Don’t restrict yourself for any reason, but just keep an eye out for me.

 

There’s a lot of questions around how to be happy with yourself and life, but I think fundamentally deep down we begin to truly feel happy as can be when we are connected with what is going on inside. We bloom and become something great when you have the courage to reveal yourself and not shy away from being hurt. In fact, we must be willing to lose it all if we are to truly let everything in.

If you reveal yourself, what’s the worst that can happen? Someone won’t like you for who you are? You will be hurt by the sting and the pain of rejection? That’s pretty much the worst that could happen? Time and time again we shy away from experiencing all that this life has to offer because it hurts sometimes. Maybe even more than sometimes…sometimes it hurts a lot of the times. But this shouldn’t be a reason why you shouldn’t reveal yourself. Why? Because if you fail to express what is going on in your heart, you will be completely disconnected from others and yourself as well.

Putting it all out on the line to reveal yourself for exactly who you are and exactly who you aren’t feels like one hell of a risk, but in all honesty, it’s what you have to do to get truly connected. It is a risk. It can be painful. It can sometimes feel like the worst feeling in the world. But at the same time, it can bring you to great heights and light up your heart with wisdom.

I’m struggling right now. But that’s part of the path. In the end, I’m still going to reveal myself.

– Evan Sanders

 

 

Reveal Yourself is a post from: Inspirational Stories About Life

Pick Your Battles | Keep It #100 | Episode 5

Pick Your Battles | Keep It #100 | Episode 5

I’ve been told an old phrase over and over again…”You can either be right or be happy.” Funny how those two things separate like that. But it really does make sense. Think of the last time you got into an argument with someone over something and everything just got torn apart. Were you trying to be both? Were you trying to be right? It’s important to pick your battles. Maybe even more important than picking arguments is to pick things in this life that are really worth fighting for – dreams, love, passion, goals. Who knows?

http://thebettermanprojects.com/blog

Live bold. Dream Big. Dare greatly.

“It is a truly life-changing, paradigm shifting and life transforming book.” Download my new book “Two Wolves” for free! http://btrman.me/1C99ZHw

Join the movement of men and women looking to inspire and change the world – http://btrman.me/M5mxt5

Pick Your Battles | Keep It #100 | Episode 5 is a post from: Inspirational Stories About Life

The Challenges Of Spiritual Transformation

 

Oh spiritual transformation, how do you kick my butt.

Tonight, I’m struggling. I’m struggling to lift a pretty large amount of uncertainty. I’m struggling because there are things that are changing, which feel not as cozy and homey as they used to, and it’s taking a little bit out of me. But tonight I am here writing about how difficult this spiritual transformation is as a way to be honest with what is going on with me right now.

One of the biggest challenges I am facing this year is being willing and able to lift as much uncertainty as I can and to be willing to be okay with that. Right now, I don’t feel okay with it. I feel exposed. I feel vulnerable. I think that’s the point though. Some of this anxiety that is running through my veins is because I am in a very vulnerable place right now and I am dealing with being right out in the open. It feels very unsafe actually. In fact, I could venture to say that the uncertainty of what’s going to happen literally 10 minutes from now has shaken me slightly.

Faith comes to mind. Faith in something that you aren’t able to see but oh you can feel it…you can feel it deep within your bones. It is something that exists despite anything that you are going through. Have troubles? Dig into your faith? Have no idea where something is going with someone? Dig into your faith. Eventually, all things turn out in the end. If they are bad now you just have to toss it up into the sky and the rest will take care of itself.

 

 

Spiritual transformation isn’t a task list.

In the past, I have tried too hard to force my spiritual transformation. What I didn’t realize back then was that it isn’t something that you can force. It’s something that you have to just be with. You have to open yourself up to the possibilities of the world and only when you are open can things start flowing in. Spiritual transformation isn’t about progress either, but more about a deepening of the mind, body, and the spirit. There’s no linear plane, but we are more moving on an x,y,z plane that has no specific intended direction. For those who are very structured and progress oriented, that can be a very difficult thing to deal with. But that’s the point – spiritual transformation is difficult and it takes some work.

I think deep down we are all a tad bit lost. We are all looking for answers to some of life greatest questions and we struggle with how the world shows up for us. I know that with me that is definitely the case. The Better Man Project in a way is actually my almost-daily account of my spiritual transformation and what I am learning along the way. There have been many many great lessons that have come to me throughout time and have significantly changed the course of my life. For that, I am eternally grateful.

These struggles right now are just part of the plan. In fact, it’s all part of the plan. That’s something that I have been learning every single day. Just because sh*t is hitting the fan doesn’t mean that the journey has ended…it’s only begun. This journey of mine has only begun and despite whatever is bubbling up for me right now, I know that I will move forward with strength and courage.

Yup, this spiritual transformation thing is one hell of a doozy.

– Evan Sanders

The Challenges Of Spiritual Transformation is a post from: Inspirational Stories About Life

The Best Things In Life Are Free | Keep It #100 | Episode 4

The Best Things In Life Are Free | Keep It #100 | Episode 4

There’s this massive narrative that we are exposed to in this world and it’s the story of “you will be happy when you get here,” Wherever that here is – new house, money, clothes, car, women, men, and everything else in between. But the truth is happiness does not lie in that place where “it all turns out.” Happiness lies in the connections and the relationships you have in the present. When you are truly connected you feel like you are just flowing. However, when you focus too much on the future and thinking that your happiness will suddenly appear when you get to where you want to go…you are wrong. Here’s why.

http://thebettermanprojects.com/blog

Live bold. Dream Big. Dare greatly.

“It is a truly life-changing, paradigm shifting and life transforming book.” Download my new book “Two Wolves” for free! http://btrman.me/1C99ZHw

Join the movement of men and women looking to inspire and change the world – http://btrman.me/M5mxt5

 

The Best Things In Life Are Free | Keep It #100 | Episode 4 is a post from: Inspirational Stories About Life

Past And Present | Keep It #100 | Episode 3

Past And Present | Keep It #100 | Episode 3

The past and the present have a really interesting relationship…but don’t forget the future as well. In reality, you can only truly live in the present. Many of us try to live in the past or in the future, but you actually can’t go there. You must bring yourself back to this moment – the only moment that you have. When you begin to live in the present, you give yourself the opportunity to experience true openness and connection to the people and the world around you.

http://thebettermanprojects.com/blog

Live bold. Dream Big. Dare greatly.

“It is a truly life-changing, paradigm shifting and life transforming book.” Download my new book “Two Wolves” for free! http://btrman.me/1C99ZHw

Join the movement of men and women looking to inspire and change the world – http://btrman.me/M5mxt5

Past And Present | Keep It #100 | Episode 3 is a post from: Inspirational Stories About Life

Unconditional Love Ended My War With The World

I promise to never know you – I will learn about you each and every day

I promise to never need you – need you to be anything but what you are

I promise to rock your socks off every day. 

- My 3 Commitments, The Better Man Project. 

Maybe I am old-fashioned, but I still believe in unconditional love. I still believe in the beauty of matching souls and what happens when you start having that type of love and the feelings it creates when it awakens in your heart. That type of love is seeded in deep vulnerability – being willing to expose yourself and giving people the tools to destroy you completely and having faith that they won’t.

 

Love is always a work in progress. Not just the type of love that is romantic, but even the love of others. We come up against our own fears, doubts, insecurities…and the worst part is that we allow the pains of old to mask the amount of love we give now. Unconditional love does not arrive under the condition that you will withhold it for any reason. It’s something to be released…and often it is an uncontrollable force of energy that blossoms from the depths of your heart. When you have the courage to reveal your heart and let it go you explode with life. It’s scary, but isn’t that why we call it a leap of faith?

Those 3 commitments I wrote above are my commitments to the people who I love romantically and the ones who are around me. Each and every single day, since I’ve made these commitments, I come at life with a curiosity about others…a willingness to drop my judgements about people and accept them for who they are…and to try to bring furious happiness to their lives. Those 3 commitments are my version of unconditional love and they are things that I absolutely adore bringing into the world each day. As I have been writing here, I have been throwing myself more and more into the words that end up on the paper because if I can make my reader, you right now, feel that you matter in this world, that you are special, and that you are deeply loved by me – whoever you are – isn’t that making a massive impact?

You see I used to think that writing was a static exercise. I would put the words down on the paper, throw some emotion into it, but that would be the end of the experience for me. What I have realized is that the words that land on this paper are living and breathing things. They have the ability to evoke emotions within people and possible motivate a spark in their soul to move in a direction they wish to. I am becoming more and more grateful each and every single day that I have been given the ability to incite passion, love, joy and resilience in others. It’s a gift…and I look up to the heavens every single day and say thank you for that.

 

Restricting your love because you have been hurt in the past is doing no one any favors. Lately I’ve been studying a significant amount of zen buddhism and there is a concept in the book that I am reading, one of the major practices, is that we are all connected – there is no you and me there is only “Being.” The way that the world works in terms of human perception is that we see you and your physical body as a separate piece, but the reality is…we are actually all one. The conversation obviously goes a lot farther and more in-depth than what I have presented here, but the fact of the matter is that it is such an amazing topic that it’s started to shape my reality in terms of how much I give as a person.

I’ve been hurt many times and I’ve been told many things. There have been a handful of pretty amazing insults that I have received over time about my personality, who I am, and what I am doing at my life (at the current time) and they have in one way or another restricted my ability to just let it all out. I would get scared that if I did what I was doing, if I arrived with too much passion, if I showed too much emotion, if I delivered exactly what was in my heart that it would scare people away and people would leave me. Well, those things did happen and it made me fearful of putting myself out there to the world – the exact reason why I landed in a coaching discussion asking for help with becoming deeply vulnerable – because I felt that my connections with others were actually dwindling because of this. Why start new relationships with people if you are only going to scare them away with your passion and enthusiasm? But the flip side of that is…won’t people also love you for your joy and for your ability to spread happiness wherever you go?

That flip side discussion…about being willing to throw all of my unconditional love into the world has become more and more attractive over time. The past few weeks since I was challenged by my coaches to get in touch with my deep emotions, to allow heartbreak to by my healer, to be deeply vulnerable and seen, and to truly explore the depths of my heart…well, these weeks have brought out a lot of anxiety in me because it is something new. It’s new in the way that I have gone to those places before, but I have only searched within specific avenues and spaces…and avoided all of the other spots in the cave that looked dangerous and scary.

But with the support of a few friends and some great family discussions, I have arrived at a place where I have the resolve to begin. I am willing to take the jump into the next pit. I swear I was an explorer in my past life because of how much I love being out in the wild going on adventures and the significant development of my personal introspection.

Is there deep amounts of uncertainty right now? Absolutely. But I know that this sweet heart of mine will take me places and spread happiness and love to those it touches – only if I give it the chance to truly express itself without the fear that it will run people away. If it does, that’s okay. I’m not being a bad person. The type of love that I want to give is the kind that brands its mark on the hearts of the people it touches. People always remember the way that you made them feel…and to be real with you, I want those who are around me to feel my energy and passion, but most importantly feel my deep love for life and what I have to offer. If I can evoke similar feelings in them and help them overcome their personal fears, anxieties, worries, and problems…I know I am living a good life. A fulfilled life.

I’ve ended my war with the world in trying to bash through the barriers and run from situations. I’ve ended my war with others in preventing myself  from sharing my heart. I’m up to something much different these days…and yes the picture is far bigger than what is just here right now – but that’s the point. That’s why I am here I am deeply convinced – to love like crazy, and to give others the permission to do the same.

– Evan Sanders

Unconditional Love Ended My War With The World is a post from: Inspirational Stories About Life

When The Black Dog Arrives

 

 

The Black Dog Arrives

Oh when the black dog arrives

and that deep seething anxiety

begins to spoil everything

down in the gut

running your mind a million miles a second

and you can’t slow down

because you get that feeling

that everything is just

wrong

Throwing you horribly off center

Pulling you outside of yourself

Instilling the depths of fear

into your mind

fear of the possibility

of things falling to pieces

You begin to see things that you have no business seeing

You begin to hear that growl

the voice of regret

resentment

grief

You feel shame because of it

That black dog nipping at your fingertips

Aching you to continue walking in anxiety

The quicker you walk

The grander its smile

Following you

stalking you

breath hitting the back of your legs

teeth glistening

salivating

It never has to strike to control you

It only has to walk right behind you

And little did I know

That all I had to do

was put my hand behind me

to try to pet it

for then it would suddenly

disappear.

When The Black Dog Arrives is a post from: Inspirational Stories About Life