C.H. Clepitt's Blog, page 29
February 8, 2017
Zombie Apocalypse in Europe!
We have been receiving unconfirmed reports that the world as we know it, is
in fact, at an end.
There have been reports from Europe that a small cafe in Vienna has been besieged by zombies, who are trying to eat the brains of locals. There have also been unconfirmed reports of earthquakes, and a horse with wings.
One source tells us that this unpleasant series of events was started by one man, who was playing on the internet when he should have been working. Whilst we are yet to confirm, it seems likely, as that is what you are doing right now, isn’t it? ISN’T IT???
A random old woman who was laughing manically outside the cafe told our reporter:
None of this would have happened if he’d just kept it in his pants. He knows it, but given the chance he’d do it all over again. Not that anyone ever listens to me…
She went on to say something about how to stop this from happening, but we’d stopped listening by then.
Speaking exclusively to Newsnibbes, author Angelika Rust said:
It’s alternative facts, of course. You know, fiction.
But, since false is the new true, we’re covering it anyway. Read the full story below.
February 6, 2017
Monday Mystery Mime
It’s still Monday somewhere in the world, right? Well, we’re here again, it’s mystery mime time, brought to you by our friends at Feathers and Toast. If you’ve been living under a rock, here’s the gist. Celebrity chef and sandwich aficionado, Tallulah Grace performs a mime. If you can guess what it is she will perform the mime of your choosing*, it’s as simple as that, so have a go.
Last week’s answer was a butterfly, and the closes guesses were Melissa Spors Hubbard and Judith Evans, with Eagle, so they get the mime of their choice performed. See, you just need to try, have a go!
*To enter go to the Youtube page where the mime originated and post your answer in the comments section. If commenting on Youtube is too complicated you can post a comment here, but Youtube comments will get priority. The winner will be chosen at random from all of the correct entries. Any obscene entries or suggestions will be disqualified and the user blocked. Newsnibbles and Feathers and Toast reserve the right to disqualify any entry they deem unsuitable, without explanation. The closing date for entries is Friday 10th February 2017, 00:00 EST.
7 Questions
1. A Siberian, living in France, writing in English about Russian?
Huh?It is as fun as it sounds.
2. What is it about Russian folklore that particularly appeals to you, and what do you think will make it appeal to the reader?
I can see many misconceptions about what it means to be a Russian. Our Soviet past is but a fragment of our history and culture, and I wanted to tell a story that would take the reader on a journey beyond received ideas and deep into the land of Slavic imagery that defines us as a nation.
3. How does writing a short story differ from writing a novel?
To me, a short story is a tiny novel. You need a solid plot and a satisfactory denouement. The difficulty in writing a short story is that there are fewer words to tell your story with. Narrational time is another problem when you want to keep the word-count down without making it all appear rushed. The three short stories I have written so far, all cover events that happen within one day. I am not saying that it is easier to write a novel─keeping the different plot lines separate and clear is its own challenge─but the pace and time-frames cannot be the same unless you want to write a “long” short story.
4. Where do you stand on the topic of pet couture?
My experience with pet couture is limited. All I can say is that it’s not very “hawt”. (Laughs at own joke in complete silence.)
5. Describe your ideal sandwich.Mayonnaise, tomato, cucumber, onion rings, Gruyere, eggs, more mayonnaise. Bread is optional.
6. What’s next on the agenda?
I have just released my new short story inspired by Russian folklore. Like my other stories in the same genre, “Voopyre” is set in a fictional Slavic land where spirits of nature interfere with the lives of men. “Voopyre” is also a metaphor for what womanhood used to mean, for hundreds of years. My current goals include writing more folklore-inspired stories and completing work on the sequel to my fantasy novel, “Balancers: The Other Sound”.
7. If you could command an army of orcs, or an army of robots, which would you choose and why?
Robots, of course. Orcs never listen!
And you can read a sample of her latest story below:
February 2, 2017
7 Questions
This week’s 7 Questions is quite exciting for us. Do you remember our Elephant Outfits post from a couple weeks ago? Well, we found the whole thing so exciting we approached Wildlife SOS to see if they’d like to discuss it further. And here’s the exciting bit, THEY DID! We caught up with Mr. Kartick Satyanarayan, Co-Founder & Chairman Wildlife SOS to find out a bit more about what they do.
1. When was the sanctuary founded, and how was it funded?
The Wildlife SOS Elephant Conservation & Care Centre (ECCC) was founded in 2010 and is funded entirely by donations.
2. Do all the animals need special outfits?
No, not all our animals need special outfits. The rescued elephants require special care as they have come to us from deplorable conditions and have special needs.
3. What would you say the biggest obstacle is to running a wildlife sanctuary?
The biggest obstacle is usually to find committed staff who are willing to make sacrifices for the sake of the animals and financial resources for the ongoing medical treatment, feeding of elephants and other animals in our care. You can also listen to Ms. Geeta Seshamani talk about how Wildlife SOS came into being and the problems they faced in the video below.
4. We’ve seen that you care for abused elephants, but what other sorts of animals do you have?
Our organisation is responsible for taking action against animal cruelty, rescuing wildlife in distress, working to resolve man-animal conflicts while promoting and educating the public about the need for habitat protection. Although Wildlife SOS is mainly known for its work with the “Dancing Bears” of India, we also have active projects to help Leopards, Elephants, Reptiles and other animals.
We run two Elephant Care Centres in Mathura & Haryana, with 23 rescued elephants under our care currently and our leopard rescue centre in Maharashtra houses 27 rescued and rehabilitated leopards. We also have 6 Himalayan black bears at our Dachigam and Pahalgam centres in Jammu & Kashmir. Additionally, our teams across India rescue over a thousand animals, birds and reptiles from distress situations every year.
You can watch this heartwarming recovery made by our rescued elephant, Lakhi here;
or watch how Halloween was celebrated at our centres here:
or watch Valentine’s day being celebrated with the bears:
5. Whose idea was it to knit outfits for elephants, and how much wool did you need?
The need to keep the elephants warm motivated us to design and make jackets for the elephants as a pilot project. You can watch a video of the elephants being helped into their jackets on the video below:
6. How can people get involved and help?
Wildlife SOS encourages volunteers to come and help us in various ways. People from all walks of life connect with us by emailing us on volunteer@wildlifesos.org and work with us on our projects.
Curiosity brings volunteers and they leave fulfilled and involved with Wildlife SOS. We fulfil our role of conservation education through our volunteer outreach program. You can also make donations to Wildlife SOS website to help support our rescued animals: https://give.wildlifesos.org/ea-action/action?ea.client.id=1971&ea.campaign.id=52550
7. What’s next on the agenda?
Our upcoming projects include the establishment of an international elephant hospital, expansion of the elephant conservation and care centres, human wildlife conflict mitigation, wildlife research and forest restoration projects. We look forward to welcoming and involving volunteers into our projects.
January 31, 2017
Monday Mystery Mime
Yes, it’s Tuesday again. Sometimes life gets in the way of Mondays. We are open to suggestions for an equally alliterative name beginning with Tuesday. Pop your suggestions in the comments.
So, last week’s mime was a lighthouse, and the winners were Paul Uhler and Brett Colonell. Congratulations, tell Tallulah what you would like her to mime and she will perform it for you.
Didn’t win? Never mind, have a guess at this one instead, remember, winners get the mime of their choice performed.*
*To enter go to the Youtube page where the mime originated and post your answer in the comments section. If commenting on Youtube is too complicated you can post a comment here, but Youtube comments will get priority. The winner will be chosen at random from all of the correct entries. Any obscene entries or suggestions will be disqualified and the user blocked. Newsnibbles and Feathers and Toast reserve the right to disqualify any entry they deem unsuitable, without explanation. The closing date for entries is Friday 6th February 2017, 00:00 EST.
January 27, 2017
7 Questions
Today’s 7 Questions are with fantasy author Daccari Buchelli, as we chat
seasons, sandwiches and pet couture.
Tell us about your world, how do four seasonal realms work?
Long ago, when Peradon was one enormous, united Realm, war broke out between the different clans and sparked events that led to the segregation of the different peoples. Each one was bound in an endless season, whichever related closely to their own elemental ability. Such an arrangement was deemed to be profitable f
or the varying types of elemental beings. Now, as magic becomes scarce, compared to what it once was, the never-ending seasons are just another quirk of the land.
What is the most useful piece of feedback you’ve ever had?
When I think of feedback, I think of depth. Character and world depth are needed in order for a reader to fully experience your story. The worlds you create must leap off of the pages and surround them, your characters needing to feel realistic enough for a reader to empathise with their plight. Having been told that some areas of my work could use more depth, I have endeavoured to provide exactly that in an upcoming second edition of Phoenix.
What is it about fantasy that makes you prefer it to other genres?
I grew up with Fantasy novels left, right and centre. My sister used to leave them lying around after she’d finished with them and being a curious child (to say the least) I decided to take a peek.
Fantasy combines the impossible with the probable. It brings to life ideas that we could not imagine happening in our wildest dreams. With Fantasy, we can commune with the dead, ride upon dragons, and becomes sorcerers, all through turning a few pages.
How do you feel about pet couture?
I think that every industry has its place in the world and if people enjoy high fashion for their pets, then they are perfectly entitled to partake in it. I do have a young terrier cross pup myself and while I don’t purchase pet couture, it is interesting to learn about the industry.
If you h
ad to pick, what would you choose as your theme song?
I quite like the theme song from the television show The Big Bang Theory, performed (I believe) by the band Bare Naked Ladies. It has a catchy tune and always makes me smile as soon as I hear it.
Describe your perfect sandwich.
Mmm, definitely smooth organic peanut butter and crisp iceberg lettuce. I love the way that the lettuce soaks up the fat of the peanut butter and gives an overall balanced flavour.
What would you say influenced you the most?
Personal experiences led me to create Phoenix. Originally created under a different title, the romantic elements of the story stem from an emotionally abusive partner that I had for three months. To this day they remain lodged in my mind, a memory that I am unable to shake.
When time failed to heal the wounds I’d been dealt, I found myself creating a world of magic, where the two main characters (polar opposites) become infatuated with one-another.
Violetta, an innocent fifteen year old and Ryore, a nineteen year old with a dark past, don’t know what fate has in store for them when they first meet.
To all of the writers out there, never give up. Read, write, and keep on doing what you love.
And you can find Daccari all over the internet on:
Amazon
Goodreads
And if you’d like to answer 7 Questions, then get in touch.
January 24, 2017
Monday Mystery Mime
Yes, it’s Tuesday again. We’ll do better next time, maybe. So, well done to last week’s winner, Michele Morrison, who correctly guessed Jello, or Jelly, for those of us who aren’t American. Didn’t win? Never mind, have another go. Try and guess the mime below, and you could have the mime of your choice performed by Tallulah herself!*
*To enter go to the Youtube page where the mime originated and post your answer in the comments section. If commenting on Youtube is too complicated you can post a comment here, but Youtube comments will get priority. The winner will be chosen at random from all of the correct entries. Any obscene entries or suggestions will be disqualified and the user blocked. Newsnibbles and Feathers and Toast reserve the right to disqualify any entry they deem unsuitable, without explanation. The closing date for entries is Friday 20th January 2017, 00:00 EST.
January 22, 2017
Pet Couture’s Gone Plus Sized!
Villagers near the Elephant Conservation and Care Centre in the city of Mathura (India) have been knitting away to create the snazzy plus sized packaderm pyjamas for abused elephants!
Original Image Posted on Independent.co.uk
Knitting something this size takes real dedication and it is nice to see that whilst Europe and the US seems to be spiralling into hatred and self destruction, there is still some humanity left out there.
According to The Independent, the elephants have been rescued from abusive situations such as cruel circuses, and as such their immune systems are less prepared to deal with the near freezing temperatures, and so the villagers sprung into knitting action.
As you know, here on Newsnibbles, we are fans of pet couture, but we have yet to feature plus sized to this extent. As we all know, big is beautiful, and we were thrilled to discover this story. We are also thrilled to learn we have quite the following in India (clearly a country with intelligence and taste), so, if you have pictures of elephants in outfits, we would love to see them, please share them with us on Facebook.
Wildlife SOS India does a fantastic job rescuing abused animals, and as well as elephants they rescue dancing bears, leopards and more. Follow their blog to find out more about what they do and how you can help.
January 17, 2017
Monday Mystery Mime
Yes, we know it’s Tuesday, but Tuesday Mystery Mime does not have the same alliterative ring to it. So you know the drill, guess the mime, put your answer in the comments, if you guess correctly you get the mime of your choice performed. What have you got to lose?
Nobody guessed last week’s mime, which was raindrops gathering in a puddle. We would have left it at that, and told you all to try harder this week, but you don’t win a Nobel Peace Prize being harsh, so Tallulah tells us that Paul Uhler did mention water so he is our winner this week. Well done for being nearly there, buy yourself a cookie.
*To enter go to the Youtube page where the mime originated and post your answer in the comments section. If commenting on Youtube is too complicated you can post a comment here, but Youtube comments will get priority. The winner will be chosen at random from all of the correct entries. Any obscene entries or suggestions will be disqualified and the user blocked. Newsnibbles and Feathers and Toast reserve the right to disqualify any entry they deem unsuitable, without explanation. The closing date for entries is Friday 20th January 2017, 00:00 EST.
January 16, 2017
A New Hero
Those of you who know me will know that I’m a massive superhero geek and go to all the Marvel and DC films in the cinema, whatever the reviews are. I love them, despite there being the nagging doubt that in this new millennium, there was still only a token girl. Think about it. Scarlet Johanson Black Widows her way through Iron Man, Captain America into The Avengers, never getting her own film, and becoming a random love interest for the Hulk! What happened to Betty? What did I miss? Marvel has LOTS of female heroes to choose from, it’s not like she was the only option. Would it have killed them to drop in a bit of She Hulk or Ms Marvel? For God’s sake, they even stole Kitty Pride’s story in X-Men: Days of Future Past and gave it to Wolverine. Come on, give your audience some credit, are you assuming they wouldn’t go to see it if it was a female lead? DC weren’t fairing much better; the painfully long Batman movies in which nothing seems to happen focused on a brooding Bruce Wayne, with minimal character development for anyone else. The small amount of Cat Woman that we actually got to see, made it appear that she was a lesbian, until meeting Bruce, then she was magically converted to the wonderful world of heterosexual man love, and all was right with the world.
If I’m honest, I could barely bring myself to care who won in Captain America Civil War, none of the characters seemed to be particularly justified, Stark was back to his trademark two dimensional arrogance, even though we were building a solid three dimensional character with the whole PTSD thing working through the other films. The Bromance between Captain America and the Winter Soldier took up way too much of the storyline, and Widow’s sudden flip to the other team was a plot device and completely out of what limited character they had allowed her to develop. There could have been some interesting development of the Scarlet Witch, but nah, let’s not bother. She does mind bendy stuff, let’s stick her in a couple fight scenes, balance the gender dynamic that way.
I was actually more impressed with Batman vs Superman, which despite the mixed reviews, I thought was rather good. I didn’t really have a problem with Clark and Lois being together, let’s face it, it’s what we all wanted, and the whole being apart for her own good thing is just annoying and why we all wanted to throttle Spiderman in those three films no-one wishes to speak of. I was less OK with Batman using guns, Batman does NOT use guns, but it’s a directorial choice, so I’ll cope, and I liked the introduction of Wonder Woman as a solid character in her own right.
Which brings me on to the point of this article, which, believe it or not, was not actually to rant, but to jump up and down for glee about my latest discoveries. Jessica Jones and Supergirl are, for want of a better word, BRILLIANT.
We all know that Netflix original productions are excellent at developing 
strong, diverse characters, and Jessica Jones is waving the flag for women everywhere. She is a strong female character, who has been through trauma, and is broken, which makes her realistically three dimensional. Her support system consists of her sister, and a badass female lawyer (who also happens to be a lesbian O… M… G…). There are men in it, David Tenant does an excellent job of being a really creepy super villian, so don’t watch it before bed, and they introduce Luke Cage as the love interest (eeek! You mean he isn’t the main reason for everything?!). I noticed a lot of men on social media complaining about the lack of men as characters in their own right. Well, welcome to our world, fellas. If you made any of your female friends sit through Transformers, which seemed to assumed that putting a woman in a push up bra was what consisted of making her three dimensional, then you have no right to complain. Seems that people only notice things that affect them directly.
DC does an equally impressive job with Supergirl, who again has a strong female support structure in the form of a badass ARGUS agent sister, and media mogul boss played by the awesome Calista Flockhart, who gets all the best lines about what it’s like to be a woman rising to the top. The male characters have a bit more to say than they do in Jessica Jones, with Jimmy Olsen not only being the love interest (I know, but he is nice to look at), but having some important parts to play in the plot. The thing I liked most was that it not only dealt with the issues faced by millennials, but by women, in an age where it’s harder to claim inequality, because things are so much better than they were, so why are we still moaning? I really liked the fact that no matter how tough things become, Supergirl would not call Superman to help, she needed to handle it herself.
I often come out of the cinema disappointed when there is a lack of strong female characters to identify with in the film, and I find myself wondering whether this is a new thing. After all, as a child I was able to watch superhero films and series and still enjoy them, even though the women were just there to be rescued. Am I newly angry, or is it that as a child you are conditioned to accept a social norm, which as an adult you start to question? One thing, however, is clear, and that is that we don’t have to put up with it any more. These two series have proved that, and I can’t wait for more to follow suit.
